Sex With Emily - A Rude (Jude) Sexual Awakening

Episode Date: September 4, 2019

On today’s show, Emily is joined by radio host of the All Out Show on SiriusXM Shade 45 @onemorejude & they’re talking about communication and making sex better. Plus, Emily is answering your emails.They talk about how dating gets better as you get older but also how social media plays a big role in it, how to get over an embarrassing sex moment, & ways you and your partner can play around with positions to find the best angles for pleasure. Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemilyFor even more sex talk, tips, & tricks visit sexwithemily.comFor more info on Rude Jude, click HERE.   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I think being comfortable with yourself helps people be comfortable with themselves. And like, if they see me walking around looking at all ugly shit naked, so they're like, uh, well, if he can do that, then I'm not have bad. So, and then I like to pay attention, see what they're into, see what they're not into. Okay. A communication. Everything. Yeah, you just got to like talk and look at watch pattern,

like it's pattern recognition stuff for that. Figure out what feels good to you and repeat that. If you're with women who don't know. Oh my God, it's like banging a puppy. They're all over the place. Like it's like, they go to the bounce and on you this way. And then boom, they're over here this day. It's like scatter brain.

Yo, pick a rhythm dude. It's like these new DJs. It's like, yeah, you're like, that song there, there's another one. Here's another one. Here's another one. Like, get to the chorus, you know, like just, yo, hit a groove.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. This is Dr. Emily, and on today's show, I'm joined by Radiohost of the All Out Show on SyriSexMShade45RudeJude. We're talking about communication and making sex better, but like, you know, in a funny, cool way, not a regular way. Plus, I'm answering your emails, topics and clips. So as you get older, the way you date changes, and it's actually a good thing. How relationships have changed now that social media is in the mix, and it's not all positive.

The interesting new sex trend that combines spelling with being on top. So you actually pass some gas during sex and now you're traumatized. Come on, is it really that big of a deal? Plus, ways you and your partner can play around positions to find the angles with the most pleasure. All this and more, thanks for listening. Day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand, it's so nice. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way? What do you mean like laundry?

It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. So, I'm drunk. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily.

We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, you can check out SexWithEmily.com. We've got a bunch of things there to help you better sex relationships. You can find me on SeriousXM. It's Channel Stars 109 Monday through Friday, 5-7pm Pacific, and you can call into the show, even if you don't have Serious, Triple 8, 9-4-7, 8-47-8277, or you can get a 30-day trial. Let's sexwiththemly.com slash SXM. Find us on all social media. It's at SXMly across the board. All right, guys, hope you enjoy the show.

I'm very excited that Rude Jude is here. If you don't know, there's more. Hi, Jude. Thanks for having me. Jude and Lini. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I don't know what is Rude Jude, host of serious exams,

the all-out show on Shade 45. One to 4 p. Judy Angelini. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But I don't know what is Rujud, host of Series XM's, the all-out show on Shade45, one to four p.m. Pacific. He's a Pontiac Michigan native who first went M&M at a Raven Detroit back in 2000. Yeah. That was fucking fun in 2000. That was a good time to be Raven. It was, yeah, we had a really good scene back in Detroit back then. I was, I was very lucky.

Yeah. Literally you could go to like some hip hop show where there's where someone got signed and then go see the white stripes the next night and end up at a rave Break the day. See I love the white chips. I love all that. I love to suit me. Yeah, have a sandwich. It was fun How long have you been on shape 45 now? Uh, this will be 15 years Wow Yep Golden handcuffs.

But really dude, it's been three hours of day you just go in and just do it. Do you prep? No. Nothing, you just show up like, Mike's not, oh hey, because I heard the other day, I was just, you know, like, some people prep, I don't. Yeah, everything that made me bad at school

makes me good at radio. I kind of feel that way too I understand. Yeah, it's something for everybody. It's true though. Yeah. Don't you feel like when you're on the radio It's like for me. It's like the most focused I am and The most I think articulate and linear I am in other parts of my life. I might be less though. I agree Yeah, look I wrote a couple books and let's talk about that. Well, because I did radio, whenever I'm doing radio, there's something in my head that's like,

nobody wants to hear that damn thing shut up. So it's like I try to be as concise as possible. So doing the radio show helped my writing. I just try with conciseness. You have me, Bird and Hyena. I have Hyena. I have it because when I was in your show years ago, I download, I conciseness. You're hummingbird and hyena. I have hyena. I have it because when I was in your show years ago,

I download it, I have the audiobook. I know. You know I read it, so. I know, I know the whole thing, I hear this. But yeah, I still scared you. It did scare you because we're just not getting some of this. I thought you was three hours of that.

You literally jumped higher than I've ever seen you jump. And like, rude, feel free to jump in and then you talk and I jump too. Your voice is so distinct though, it's good though. I like it. I like it. So mix the acid reflux and smoking. Thank you very much.

I don't know. It works for you, babe. Whenever you got all going on. I quit. I quit. I want to write books too. So this helped you because I've got another book in me. And it just comes out again.

I'm like, I'm talking 10 hours a week, 13 hours a week, but it's because it could help my writing. I just write what I'm saying. Yeah. And then just read it and be like, get rid of the nonsense. It's just so it's super tight. What if it's a lot of nonsense? And then you shouldn't write that.

Right. Okay. And you keep that to yourself. All right. Are you writing another book? No. It's hard, right? It's a labor of love. It is. I also heard you have a weed strain named hy you writing another book? No. It's hard, right?

It is. It is. I also heard you have a weed-strained name, Hyena, after a book. Yep. Or was it your nickname or something, Hyena? No, no. I came up with the name of Hyena. I was going to name the show Desperado.

I was going to name a book like Desperado or something like that because I like that eagle song. Desperado. Yeah. It's the story of my damn life. So I was just like, but I was like, that's corny. I can't do that. And I was really high on ketamine. And I have a picture of a hyena on the wall. And I'm like, I'm naming it hyena. Right. And it's stuck. That's a name. ketamine is everyone doing ketamine now. I feel like I feel like, yeah, I'm off that

shit. You know, right? Yeah., Academy, Academy is great, but. What are you on now then? Not like you this moment, or maybe. Sober, but when I like to go, I like GHB, XC, and acid, and mushrooms. Yeah, same. Like some, I like shit that makes me tingle. Yeah, all right, got it.

I hear you, I like that too, but not all those things. I like shit that makes me tingle. Yeah. Alright. Got it. I hear you. I like that too. But not all those things. I like weed. I can do anything. I wish I could like weed.

You can't do weed anymore? No, I'm all. If I could do a whole gram of ketamine and be good. But if you just got me two hits a weed, I'd be in that corner over there. Think about everything I hate about myself. No, I've been there. But so when did you stop doing, when did you stop that? Stop cat, cat.

Weed, no weed. Cheers, shoot. Like when I was, when I was, let's see, 17, I got arrested. Okay, I just figured that was just your thing and you got the strain. So I thought we'd have a do weed thing. It's funny that people are like, how are you going to sell weed?

Like some of the people are like, how are you going to sell weed and you don't even do weed? I'm like, you know, you think, uh, oh, like that do the basketball player drives a key, you know what I mean? Like, exactly. But you would be like, I would trust you. And then you'd draw a recommend. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you coming like, I would trust you with that drug recommendation. Yeah, you coming like, I was like at the nicest coke that you could find, not even trampled

on. Exactly. Yeah. Dude, I got a good point. Um, okay, wait. I have the best drugs. I would believe that you would get good drugs. You know how you say you're too old to be having bad sex?

Like, this is the same. You too old to be doing bad drugs. Bad sex. Straight up. Do you feel like you're too old to be having bad sex? Like this is the same, are you too old to be doing bad drugs? Or bad sex. Straight up. Do you feel like you're having better sex now? As I get older, yeah, it's really weird. It's weird.

As I get older, I feel like I do have better sex. What makes better sex for you? Well, I think being comfortable with yourself helps people be comfortable with themselves. And like if they see me walking around looking at all ugly shit naked, so they're like, ah, well, if you can do that, then I'm not that bad. So, and then I like to pay attention, see what they're into, see what they're not into. Communication, everything.

Yeah, you just got to like talk and look at watch and look at, watch pattern recognition, stuff for better. We didn't know that when you were young. So we just had a bunch of calls. So you're in your, how old? I'm 41. I'm just had zero self-esteem. Like, I found myself a steam at the back of a woman's vagina. So like, it was always, always like a womanizer. So I learned some things. So you

were a womanizer until what point? What's the 22nd of July? Still womanizing. There you go. Womanizing again. Well you said that until you, well maybe, maybe you've never done 10, once a womanize or always a womanizer? No, no, I don't think so. There's actually a woman that I see the most, but it's a long distance. Which means you don't really want to commit. No, but it's weird.

She knows how to get a feral dog. You know what I mean? I'm feral. I've been single so long, I don't know what to do. Like so she's just very patient with me. She's not trying to, trying to box you in. Oh, that's good.

Just trying to box you in. Yeah, you just, yeah. Cause you do that to me. I'll freak out. Yeah, no, I get it. Same. Ladies, if you get yourself like a male slut, just, just kind of like slowly, slowly bring a man, you know.

But I'm sure women try to do that too in the past. So you've all tried to tame a, many've all tried to tame a baton meat. Many people have tried to tame a bad boy before. Thinking that I'll be the one, I'll be the one, nodding, nodding, nodding. I just couldn't take it because I was like, if someone doesn't treat me well, but for many of us, he's gonna come around.

So you also had to be ready. Yes, like it's like, look, if somebody tells you something, believe it, you know what I mean? Or just, or watch their actions. Yeah. Just watch their actions. It's the actions are larger than the words. Yeah.

You'd be like, no, I want to be with you, but he doesn't show up. He ghosts you for the amount of time. Yeah. He's liking other chicks, pictures on Instagram. Like what about that? I think that's bullshit. Maybe I'm old, but.

No, no, let's talk about it because that comes up all the time. Why is my boyfriend liking all these thirst traps on Instagram? Why is it that you think if you're a guy, you should, and you have a girlfriend, you shouldn't like anyone else's photos. I'll take one step further. I don't think, like, if I'm in a relationship

with a woman, I don't think she needs to be making new male friends. Oh. Like, and I won't make new friends. I got enough friends with, like, this person better know, like, mad, be a wizard. You know, you better just check better be a wizard for me to be friends with her.

So, so you're dating someone and then she's like, oh, here's my new friend that I met the other night. I'm like, how long have you been dating? Give me an idea. Like, if, like, I'm saying like, if I've been with a woman for like a year or two and she says, oh, this is my work husband, like we're gonna sit down and have a discussion right now.

Okay. Rick is not your work husband. You do not go to Apple, be's a Rick. Right. Cause Rick on the low is gonna try to smash. Like I know Rick, you know. I have been Rick. No, I haven't been Rick.

I'm not, I'm not Rick. I'm not, yeah. You know men. Rick's beta. I'm not like that I'm not. You know man. You know man. Rick's beta. I'm not like that. Why do you think you think that men and women can't be friends in? I'm friends with a lot of women.

Okay. I do think that can be friends, but like here's a deal. It's just the risk reward ratio doesn't, I don't think it's worth it. I don't think it's worth putting your relationship on the line. line so what I can be friends with this new random fucking chick over here Yeah, okay, so if they're true. I get it So do you jealousy things when you date people or is it more like you will be jealous with you? people well I I'm so turned off. It's hard to make me jealous because I probably am

Super sensitive, but I don't allow myself to be open. So I got it. I'm like whatever, whenever I meet a chick, it sounds awful and it's funny that you, we're talking about, uh, side of me. Whenever I meet a chick and she's got a, she's got a friend that's like an old boy,

man, male friend that I'm being introduced. I'll just be like I think I probably banged her in this That's that's how I just start with that Accept it and then move move forward. Yeah, it's hard to meet their exes. You're saying or think I already guy Oh, yeah, yeah, maybe because to be quite fair like 70% of the women that were friends with me we 70% of the women that were friends with me we slept with yeah at some point at one point or not Yeah, one point in our lives because I don't like sleeping with lambs like I sleep with cool chicks, you know So if you sleep so then but then you so you can be friends with people you dated yeah, X is right yeah

But I let I lay it out like this. I'm like hey, I'm not looking for anything serious I'm good at this that and the third if that's what you're and the third, if that's what you're looking for, cool, if that's not what you're looking for, cool. What are those things that you're good at? Like, I'm good at listening. We got good conversation. I'll try, I'll bang you like I'm ugly. I'll try real hard.

I'm perfect. I'm perfect. I'm perfect. Okay. And like I'm perfect rebound rebound like I'm great rebounded Because we got to go back to banging like I'm ugly because we actually before the show were talking about that We don't we like to be very politically correct on the show But we're like is it true that people are right what we say?

Well, I was saying I was like I just didn't realize this was a thing But I was like I've seen it. It's like our pretty people allowed to be boring and bad and realize this was a thing, but I was like, I've seen it. It's like, our pretty people allowed to be boring in bed, and apparently that's a thing, and I just never thought, like I just think that's so selfish to not try. Yeah, they say like, oh, he's really hot, he's being like, she's mean he's not good and better,

women who are really pretty don't try hard, they don't try hard. They have to lie there and do nothing. Yeah, it's kind of weird. You don't want to make sweeping general relations about everybody. That's a joke. There's always that unicorn, yeah. Your joke is based on like an ugly guy. Everybody don't. But that was just that unicorn.

Your joke was based on like an ugly guy because Jillian wants to know what does that mean. She messaged here. She didn't know what that meant by an ugly guy. It's just me. It's like because you feel lucky enough that you're in bed with this woman. You're lucky that you got to work harder. Yeah, you're like, she's like that so sad. She's not in bed.

It is. It sucks. I was the fat kid that didn't get girls. So I remember that feeling. Right. So do you always feel like that? That once you're the fat kid, it doesn't do. It's kind of feel like that kid or did you get when did you get your steam back? It was just talking about this the other day. It was really hard. It was unfortunate for me and women for like for my first couple years having sex, I just devalued women. So if they rejected me, I wouldn't feel as bad.

And you could like turn that. You were just shut down. And it was easy for me to because it was like, look what my mom does. Look what my mom allows to happen in the house. She allows a man to disrespect her. And nobody, none of the, there were no fathers in my neighborhood So it was just like it was like why why should I respect the woman and I respect you themselves? like you say your mom bring men home that we're not healthy

I wrote in them book. I was like you want to bang my mom dress up like a hobo and sit on a book on a bus stop She'll try to save you. Like she just loves saving dudes. She's got that out of her system but it was hard to watch growing up. That's really hard to, and Anne, you know other male role models, you know other models of relationship.

So of course you would think that that's what you do. Yeah, and then I had a daughter and I was like, you know what? I wouldn't want anybody lying to my kid. So now I just am honest about what I want. And I really helps being honest and saying like, this is what I have capabilities. I'm fuck you like a Mugly.

I'm gonna listen. What was that? Oh, and I'll feed you afterwards. Oh, that's the best part. No, I don't know, we can order postmates. Okay, guys. Rubber, whatever. You will not leave here hungry.

You can even take on the leftover. Yeah, and I don't believe in eating and then having sex just seems counterintuitive to me. Eat after sex. Yeah, do you go, do you eat a big ass meal before you play basketball? No, I think we always talk about that. Just have, if you have a date night,

what would I eat, have sex right before you go out? It is like dessert. Yeah, you like, you're all happy. You're not of the tension and dinner. And if you go again, great bonus, but like, you already did it. You go the same way. Winner winner, sexy for dinner.

I'm too old, yo, yeah, I've tried like the other day, I tried that shit to eat after work. Like, have sex after work. Oh yeah, I was like on top of, oh, like, this is smart. I'm not used to this. Like, how do you want to ride me? She's like again, I'm like, yeah, please.

Your turn. Speaking of riding, okay, I have a question for you. There's a new sex move that just went viral. Okay. Move. Okay, this is what we're going to do. It's called the coconut. The coconut. The coconut riding sex move. And there's all these memes now.

I think it's kind of a day literally just today. Can someone show me it? Spelling coconut. You don't even see it though. Here's what's okay. Spelling coconut is the viral sex tip Everyone's going nutty for and it promises better orgasm. So apparently a woman in Kenya If a woman spells coke at first, I thought that if a woman she's supposed to spell coconut with her body Moving in like a sea and then oh and then oh and then I don't know how I was you having a seizure right straight up. Yeah Yeah, so I'll get some smelling salts out there like you Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so all I like I love when. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You're a first aid. Yeah.

So all I like, I love when a sex decision goes viral. So down with that. But this is not really a sex tip. It's more like, like people tell men when you're, or anyone's going down a woman, do the alpha that way. They're talking about that. Yeah, yeah. That's just to keep your fucking tongue.

Don't do that. Pay attention. Women's, we will speak to you what we want. If you pay attention, like all the signs are there, like you don't do the alphabet and the same thing with coconut First all what if you can't spell coconut. Yeah, but also bang good then right There was all these The woman he's like there's some meme and she's like when she spells coconut with a K

The woman, he's like, there's some meme and she's like, when she spells coconut with a K and he's like, Oh no, but, get off me. But at first I thought when I was trying to be positive about it, I'm like, okay, well, it's better than if it's a word with like a bunch of eyes like Mississippi, so when we're like, I gotta bounce up and down. Oh my god. You should bounce up and down on top. They shouldn't bounce up and down. No, three, five.

So what I like is this shows move around in circles. However, the position was created for men's, like, it was again, very men-centric. Like, your guy's gonna like it if you move like that. So this bullshit, though. You know what I think is, well, here's a deal, too, like, you were talking about not being able to orgasm, and it's very hard for a woman to orgasm. During, of course. During, yeah. During, yeah, quite as, if you will. If the man's, if you're on top and the man's penis is hard,

he's enjoying himself. Like do not worry about it. Do things that feel good to you. Okay. So if you measure up on it, that will help you achieve orgasm easier. Like, quit, don't worry about, like, yo, is this a digger? He's fine, right?

Yeah, he's, because that's a reward for me. Like, I get to, like, I get to look at you. Yeah, it's fucking awesome. Yeah, you're like, you know what? But women were younger women, well, women worry about top, what to do. So they bounce up and down, like, and porn. No, that's what I'm saying.

Whatever, whatever does that feel good to you, then do it. But like, figure out what feels good to you and repeat that. What if there's a few of you with women who don't know? Oh my God, it's like banging a puppy. They're all over the place. Like it's like, they go to the bounce and on you this way. And then boom, they're over here this day. It's like scatter brain.

You know, you know, pick a rhythm, dude. Yeah. It's like these new DJs. It's like, yeah, you like that song there. There's another one. Here's another one. Here's another one. Like, get to the chorus. You know, like just, yo, hit a groove. Like, uh, they don't have the groove, though. Not because they're like in their brain. You know, like, that's the biggest problem. Yes. How do you get them out of their brain? That's what I'm saying. Focus on what feels good to you. Yeah, right. root could be like my co-host on sex now. He knows focus on what feels good

Yeah, but sometimes we're so in our heads. We can't even feel and you know what I'm in to be fair Like I have to talk during sex or else I get in my head like what do you talk about just disgusting this? Yeah, it's very talk. Yeah, right, but it keeps you because it keeps you in focus. It keeps me focused Yeah, if I get quiet, I start being like oh, I do Yeah, exactly why she's like a puppy exactly what's her name again? It keeps me focused. If I get quiet, I start being like, oh, am I doing it? Is she not gonna be that quiet? Why is she bummering like a puppy? Exactly. What's her name again?

Did you ever do that? Yeah. Sometimes, not with a new one. I can't even remember it. I got it. I did too. I got it. I got it.

It's hard to remember names. It took me two seconds. Two seconds is better than never. You know this chick, so like, like I went down on her and tossed her salad and then she ghosted me. This was 10 years ago or something. And I was walking, I was walking past her

and she was with her girls and she said hi. And I'm like, I was like, and I was like, do we know each other? And she was like, you ate my butthole. And I was like, I was like, oh Kelly, will you should have called me back. Like, I would have totally remembered you. Like, did you say that?

Yeah, I want you to say, she was just like, oh, like roll their eyes. I was like, I'll see you later. Yeah, like I'm just a remembered. Do you know what my butt hole is? Yeah, you know what my butt hole is? I'm eight. Yeah, I got like 10 years ago.

Donald's, yeah, straight up. And it's like, yeah, you're the one that goes to me, dude, like now you're gonna be cool on the sidewalk. Yeah, you're like, you go sit, you're dead, you're putting, you file that away. Yeah, I hit you, I'm like, I'm not gonna stalk you. I like, I hit her, hey, that was cool. Like, you don't hang out again.

And then, what happens? Do you get, do you get ghosted? Not now, because you're in a major relationship. And if you ghosted people. I do get ghosted. I got ghosted a couple weeks ago. Okay. relationship. And if you go, Sid, people. I do get go, Sid. I got go, Sid a couple weeks ago. Okay. And how does it feel?

Just as bad as ever. Like it just feels really bad. And it was just like, all you gotta do is be honest with me. It's so hard for people to be honest. We need a few calls about ghosting tonight. We have from women. They're like, I don't know why, why guys goes,

why do ghost being the tell me the whole story? They met once and these things happen. But I think the sooner you just move through it, not worry like, I don't know why, why guys goes, why do ghost me, they tell me the whole story, they met once, and these things happen. But I think the sooner you just move through it, not worry about, you'll never know. We think of the worst reasons why, and it's never going to be why you think anyways, just make up your own reason. Yeah, not to me. Look, they got hit by a truck, but they didn't die. Or I'm just trying to keep it really nice. I find it very rude, you know what I mean?

Like, so why do I want to, like, I don't need an explanation of why you did that. Like, all I know is you were supposed to be here at nine. Oh, see that. You were calling me at nine thirty telling me that you were running late. We're not hanging out tonight. As a matter of fact, we don't even need to hang out at all.

That sucks. They said I'll be there at nine and then nine thirty running late. I'm already tired. It's like, yo, you don't call me half hour after we're supposed to meet. Talk about not cool. You can't get there. And she wasn't like, I had to break it to her like on on the on the on the eating level chart. You know what I'm saying? Like I'm a shark. She's a guppy. Like, oh, dude, like, I go to you to be real. Right. Yeah. You know,

it goes me. So I? So I hear it. And it still hurt my little heart. You know, yeah. Little heart. Yeah, that's the thing. It hurts. Rejections painful. I know, but you guys got to like,

ladies, when you get rejected, take a step back and just look at the dude. And you're like, really? Okay. Is he an astronaut? If you ain't an astronaut, like don't even worry about it. Right, move on.

Yeah. So why do you think people go so? Why do you think guys go? Like, give me a, give me a friend so see, like they have sex and never hit them again. No, that's not the thing. Okay, someone called him and she's 20 though. Like guys in their 20s is very different.

They'd go out a few times. He's like, I want to see you later. And then she's like, yeah, let's meet up later. And then she texts them and he just disappears. Like, he never texts her again. And maybe they help made out. Or maybe I'd have sex sex I don't know. That's like a lack of backbone.

Just like I think I think the phones have turned us into cowards and it makes it's back in like the like the 1700s like if your man said something called me a liar, I like hit him in a face with a glove and we'd have to go have a duel like words really mean something Words are so cheap nowadays It's true now we're like and but even in the 90s 2000s when we didn't have our cell phones We didn't I don't know maybe for people like I guess they're like he blew me off But I don't think that it was as easily people weren't like just totally disappearing. Yeah, this is people would call make

Be like hey, I wasn't working. I have to do that. I did that recently I went out date with someone twice I wasn't feeling it and I was like hey don't feel like this love, I wasn't working. I ever had to do that. I did that recently. I went out and date with someone twice. I wasn't feeling it. And I was like, hey, don't feel like this love can, I didn't feel like I had to call. I was like, don't feel this connection, but it's been really fun. Nice meeting you.

Have a good summer. Yeah. And he said, you two have a great summer. Remember that? But I felt like I'm not gonna go. So I knew I wasn't into a Miere SBR again. Just tell him, be honest. Yeah.

You've told me the exact reasons. Unless you really want it. Like yeah, unless you really want, you know what I mean? But like, for the most part. It doesn't matter though, why does it even matter that why do we need to know? When the girl blew me off, I was like, I found that behavior to be very inconsiderate.

I'm not, I don't accept that. In a way, yeah. I do not want to hang out, I don't want to hang out with you at all. That's what I think. If someone goes to, even if it's whether you've sex with them or you promise a date on Friday and you don't show up to me, there are so many goddamn single people in the world. There are more single people on this planet than ever before.

Don't waste another second thinking about this person who didn't show up. That was, that's, they just showed you what they're gonna do when, you know, you're giving birth to their child. They're gonna make sure I couldn't make it. There's a sale Walmart. They're not gonna be good. There's a sale Walmart. They're not gonna be good father either. Good mother. You know what I'm saying? People show you.

They're flaky there. They're flaky in life. Yeah, I couldn't, like, I would coast sign and get a notary to fucking pop in. I totally agree with you all the way. You get the notary. You do that weird there. That's how strong that coastline is for you.

Yeah, that's true. What else? You got this girl for now? she's where she, Michigan? Yep. Are you going back and forth a lot? We don't call each other that, but yeah, you know. I'm sorry I said that. No, you cool.

But like, yeah, like I'm still like, wiling out, but when I say here, we hang out. That's cool. What are you looking for now? Like how is it changed out of your 41? Then sex when you were 31? Well, to be quite honest, I think I was too romantic. I was too romantic.

I mean, no, no. I'm going to like the Indian arranged marriage thing. It kind of makes sense, you've got a new choice. You're like, here you go. Yeah, it's just like, look, what do you, like this old head over heels, bullshit. You know, like, what am I looking for? I want someone that likes Michigan.

I want somebody with a high IQ. I want yeah, I want someone that's not going to be ugly because I don't have ugly kids. We got a good street going with Angelini family. So I don't want to break you up. You want more kids? What's that? Yeah. And I want more kids. Okay.

So I'm going to be into having more children and she and she's nurturing. Oh, you need that. Yeah, I get it. I mean, I need that too We all do true. We all do so in the past you're saying your 30s that would be like this whole like Amazing tingly like I will just know love for say neither like it's a business. Can't move do like Michigan Yeah, yeah straight up. It was like it was that's how it was approached with her. I was just like straight up business track. Like, are you into this, are you into that, are you into this? It's contingent on that.

Like, she was like, yeah, she was interested in it. Okay, that's good. I think so. No, I don't know, I'm still trying to. I just, porn and romance movies just ruin our brain. They do right? Yes, it is romance movies do not happen the sex isn't happen like they happen there and porn's also Representation of sex straight up. Yes. I know I wish I could like take back my first three years of banging cuz I learned off of porn You know, right? It's not all jackhammer style. There's nowhere to go once you like no

And I'm old now so that's tiring as hell like it is all jackhammer style. There's nowhere to go once you like no and I'm old now so it's tiring as hell like It is the jackhammer, but that's what you think because it feels good to you. Yeah, what is your number one sex tip? My number one sex tip Wow shoot Try to be in a moment. Yeah, be present. Yeah, be present with that person. Yeah, I like it. Okay. I've asked you have a few Would you rather's here that we do Yeah, I like it. Okay. I've asked you have a few would you rather here? Then we do all our guests, right? Right. Sprinkle me.

Sprinkle you. Okay. Would you rather get a lap dance or a strip tease? I would to be quite frank. I don't like either one of them. Okay. I like to if I'm paying a sex worker I would like to ejaculate. Okay, got it. Would you rather have sex with a bite or a screamer? Screamer, because that bite and shit hurts. Yes. And I can always put a pillow over a mouth

or just, you know, I should uptake this dick. Yeah. I'm fucking. Now I know what it's going. Now I know it's going down. Okay, I want to find something. Okay, would you rather be the submissive partner during a sex with a dominant partner?

You know. That was just, it was funny, man. I was looking into, it was a couple of years ago, I was like looking into dominatrixes because all I do, I run my own show. Yeah, dude. You know, I run my own show. I'm constantly courting women, I don't settle down.

So it's, I'm'm just I'm making the decisions Like I'm making yeah, I'm making all the decisions like we're gonna eat here. You don't have to worry about this I'm like so and when you're in a relationship, there's the push pull you that you got to compromise You got to give in sometimes sometimes your alpha other times you're the beta. So like I was hadn't been beta in the fucking eight years. So I was gonna go get whooped. But like I ain't the way it's, I ain't like the way it's smell in those places.

No, no. It's like a gym, you know what I mean? Maybe your partner would be cool. Maybe she, yeah, you don't want that in your BDSM room. Yeah. Would you rather, kinky sex or romantic sex? Kinky, yeah, probably Kinky. I didn't know you're 41 now.

But you can have Kinky sex with someone you love, you know what I mean? Totally, dude. So I'm like, yeah, dude. Yeah, you know the Madonna horror thing. There was like, there's one time I was sleeping with a porn chick, a porn star, while she was on XC and I try to have nice romantic sex with her And she curved this shit out of me Oh, yeah, she didn't want she didn't want no romance. You want me to beat it up?

I was like damn I've never again never I'm learning my lesson never again Fight of rose petals and I was like yeah, yeah, like going way softer than I usually go and I hit her up I was like hey you want to hang out again, I'm kind of busy like oh Would you rather your girlfriend was an ex porn star or your sister was currently a porn star? Shit I would with my girlfriend was an ex porn star or my sister It's tough. I know I would with my girlfriend was an ex porn star or my sister It's tough. I know I would My sister I guess okay, so really you don't want your friends to be an ex-boyant or best life. What's that so you wouldn't want your ex-girlfriend to be a porn star?

What you're saying nah no? No, you can't get in the thing. Yeah, yeah Because not just that like I figure if you got some porn stuff going on there's some deep deep Deeper things under there. All right. Okay. That's that's all dude. I got that was good. Let's get to Morgan 36 and Illinois who needs some anal tips Hey Morgan, I can help you with this. What's going on. Hi. Thanks for coming. Hi, Lily.

So my boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 and a half years. We don't get to see each other often. Maybe a couple of times a month just because of our schedules. So sex life is great. Like it's still super exciting. We're having a ton of fun. And he recently told me that he's interested in Going down the anal path with me. I know he has had anal sex before. I have never done it before.

So we had one time where like he used his finger on me and it went well This now the last time we were together, we tried to move on to actually him and starting himself in and he couldn't get it in. I don't know if he wasn't hard enough. I'll tell you everything that happened. Okay, Morgan, here's a deal with anal. You can't go from zero to penis at all. You have to really, I like that the finger felt good. That's a great way to start.

But the important thing for women like first time anal is to be really relaxed, to already be around. Like you wanna be turned on, you want to have gotten down to new, you want at least maybe, maybe an orgasm already, and you're like just breathing and you're relaxed. And then, you know, play with a finger first. Like you said, and hopefully he's using a lot of lube. Like my number one tip for anal is like, lube.

Like more, more, like more lube than you thought. Like you need lube on every, on your bed. Lube on every night's sound, by your night's sound. And then you wanna make sure that you're just, you're, you're relaxed and that he's going in very slow. And what happened is since it's new to us, to you, to you having anal for many women, we just like tense, we're like, oh, it's gonna hurt. And then that clenching, it does hurt. And what happened is since it's new to us, to you, to you having anal for many women, we just like tense. We're like, oh, it's going to hurt. And then

in that clenching, it does hurt. And it can be painful. So really, just a matter of relaxing, having them go slow, making sure you're already super turn on. He can give you like a butt massage. He can just warm you up. So that's probably what happened. If there wasn't Loub and there wasn't Wormup, he probably wasn't that he wasn't hard, it just wasn't executed in the way that would have been best for both of you. Two more questions about that.

It was round two. I had already had an orgasm. So my questions on our position and Loub, we were using the Wormor play. Okay, so is that the right Loub to you? Yeah, yeah, I think W Moor play is awesome for anal, because it's great for massage and it's coconut oil. Yeah, I proof.

Okay. And then position, like what's the best position? Honestly, like you get to choose. I think for many people, like a beginner position could be like a spooning position, could be great, because then you're more in control if he's behind you, like in the spooning position. And also not doggy style, I think missionary too, if you have a pillow under your butt,

like lifting you up or under your back, and he can kind of slide it in that way, so you're like comfortable on your back, but like with that, being lifted up. That's my favorite. You scared me. You said I could talk, right? You can't talk, but I'm not used to it. Sorry. Your voice is so cute.

I love it. Wait, which is your favorite? This is Jude. He saw him on Shade 45. I almost said. I like Carl on her back. And then it's like missionary, but going in the body. Yeah, that way you can stimulate herself.

Right? She still has clitorals. Yeah. There you go. And you can stimulate yourself. Right? She's still as clitorial. Yeah. There you go. And you can actually see her. So like, yeah, you know if you're going too hard or this or that, you can actually communicate. Right. It's much better to communicate that way.

I think you do want some eye contact, especially if it's your first time. Yeah, we were like doggy style and I think I was clenching so okay that's really helpful. Did it hurt you or you just couldn't do it? It hurt, yeah which one? He got, he got, he said two fingers in or one and a half finger and so we had already tried warming me up. I don't know, it did kind of hurt but I didn't stop him. I think he just got frustrated Maybe because he couldn't really get it in. I think I don't think he was hard enough personally, but um, I don't know So even a thing Yeah, is that a thing?

Is this don't get hard? Is it a thing? You get all nervous trying to put you to be hard enough to be mad at her. It does have to be hard enough to go in. I think putting a flaccid penis in the anus would be not easy. It wouldn't go in. So we need to have nervous. Go ahead. Unless she's crying.

Unless she's crying. Yeah. Anyway, thanks, Morgan. Let me out, Gus. We'll be here for you. OK, thanks. Sorry. Your voice is so, I'm a guy.

You jumped so high. No. Sorry. I'm so in, thanks. Sorry. Your voice is so, I'm like that. You jumped so high. You're so high. I'm so in the zone. No, I love it that you're here. Roots of professional. Root, dude. Thank you for having me. Do you have any anal tips now?

Because we only have another minute to be good at break. So anything, anything spark your interest. I always start off by eating her butt, and then I go to finger. Yeah. If you're going to sata-mise it, at least you can do with eating her butt. if she wants you but

thank you tell what she doesn't want you to well then you I would lay back on the trying to go with so to me because she doesn't want the tongue she ain't want the peepee man no so with that just go right down to the ass and that's a good way to know get your answer yes or no all right I like it rude dude thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. It's so fun. OK, we can find you everywhere at one more Jude on Instagram.

Yep, or at alloutshow. Onemorejewd.com. It's like one moreju.com. Just as everything. Has all the things. Check them out in shape 45, 1 to 4 p.m. Monday through Friday. OK, we're going to take a quick break, and we come back.

We're going to get into your questions. We do have an embarrassing sex moment that someone needs help with. All right. Her name is Angie, 30 in Canada. She writes, hi, Emily. Just discovered your show this week and it's been so helpful on so many levels. I love it. I've always had issues getting out of my head during sex and being able to just enjoy the moment and let go. So because of that I've rarely orgasmed or come. I'm working on that though and getting better. My issue is super embarrassing. I've accidentally farted during sex before which is usually small and I can move past it, things happen. But about six years ago a guy was going down on me and I out of nowhere accidentally let out a giant fart in his face, mortifying.

It has me so nervous that one day it's gonna happen again. I wanna relax, but I also don't wanna be that girl who fartes when she's turned on. Oh my god, how on earth do I get past this and hopefully not fart during those moments of release? Wow, Angie, Angie, thank you for your email. Now listen, you guys. Sex can be messy Sex is a lot of things it is not perfect and pretty like we see in the movies um and just so you know Angie we get so many questions about this we get so many questions of people Being embarrassed about farting and squirting and creeping and all the different things and I really think the best thing to do

If this happens to you in the moment is you just laugh it off and move on. But the thing that I'm hearing in you, no, Angie, is your stuck in this six years ago. And I understand that was mortified and you were 24 years old and it never happened. And it was in his face. And maybe he reacted in a in a weird way. And then you're like, no, I cannot let myself go again. And so I feel like that the best thing to do is really just it's all about you picturing yourself, maybe when you're masturbating, like picturing yourself receiving pleasure from a partner and having an amazing orgasm.

And it just feels so good and how it's gonna feel with your partner because the more you revisit, it's almost like a mini trauma. You know, we have like big traumas and small big teeth little teeth trauma. That's kind of traumatic because you keep thinking about it and thinking about it.

You're asking me a question about something that happened six years ago, and you realize that a lot of our sexual challenges are actually around things that happen once. Like you came too quickly, now your premature ejaculator, you know, forever, or you, you know, your partner shamed you about something in your body,

and now you can't get naked. It's like, we just have to remember that that's in our mind and we have a power to change all of this. So I feel like it's through masturbation, it's through manifesting and also knowing this. Angie, if it happens again, you fart in your partner's face. It happens again, you can just laugh it off, you're not going to die. I think people expect these things are going to happen and just know that even if it happens, it's not life or death. She took it to this dramatic, oh my god, my life is over. I can never

receive pleasure again. And that's what she escalated that into this really like, you know, the fighter flight. And now she can't enjoy sex. So I feel like the more you just start loving up at yourself when you're masturbating, and manifesting, think about a better version of it, then that's what you got to do. And then know what happens again, you're going to laugh it off and keep going. It's not a big deal. I've totally done that before. Yeah, probably during oral, I don't even remember because I know that like, if someone, if I'm having sex with someone, they've gotten that far to be in my bedroom, where I'm in there, and We're having sex. It is not

somebody that's going to care if I'm messy or dirty or if I do anything that's weird because I I'm not weird. I don't judge people like that. So I don't even expect that someone's going to judge me and let's just say this happened. Let's just say I farted on someone's face and then they were like, oh my god, gross, I'd be like, your, your, your, your, we're all be here in two minutes. Because you're not my guy. Like, you're not my guy that, that, that freaked you out. Like, whose brother didn't sit on their face

or do weird shit like that? Like, I'm not saying it's ideal. That's true. Yeah. Like, all he still does, my brother, he still does shit to me like that. Right? So I'm just saying it's like, we are so, like, shit,

oh, it wasn't pristine and perfect. And I think this blows the whole thing that sex is supposed to be perfect wide open. Like, let it go. We have Vanessa, who's 24 in Rhode Island. Sure, hi, Ellie. I've been listening to your show for a while now. And it's actually helped me discover sex toys, which I love.

I usually go online to order my sex toys, but I hate the week wait to get them in the mail. I just have this fear of going into the sex store. I went in once with my friends and saw all old men. I feel very awkward going in by myself, and I'm not sure how to get over that fear. I feel like people are going to judge me going in there to buy a dildo when reality, they're all there for the same reason. What should I do to get over my fear? Thank you. All right, Vanessa. I'm so glad you found the show and I get that it's kind of lot easier these days to order online and I also understand that it can be

really nerve-wracking to like walk into a store and be like I'm here to buy a sex or even though that's their job. And so I have to say that like my first experience of actually seeing a sex toy store was like, I was in Michigan, from Michigan, driving to Chicago and there was this little place called, what do we see? Like Lovers Lane or something, not Lovers Lane, that's the one we like,

it was called Magic Touch or something. Magic, it was Velvet Touch. Velvet Touch, off the road, if you guys know and you're from Michigan, you probably see it. And it was that, it was like, had the neon lights flashing and it was like, kind of guys know, and you're from Michigan, you probably see it. And it was that. It was like at the neon lights flashing and it was like kind of this city place and you went in there and it was like, oh my God, I'm going to get out of here quick. But these days, I got to be honest with an ass, I know you said when you went into a weird

city place, but they're mostly not like that anymore. First of all, and if you're in Rhode Island, you can go into New York City. You can go to Baybland. Baybland is a great, so I'm you going there and it's like you're hanging with your best friends. Really, and the workers are, you know, they're actually there to help you, you know, navigate this whole wonderful world of sex toys.

So once I can tell you like walking to Baybland, like you're never gonna wanna leave or if you find like a sex positive store in your area, I think it's gonna look up Rhode Island, I didn't have a chance to see what's around there, but I'm telling you, I don't think, you know, I feel like it would be like my experience since going into good vibrations when I was like 22 years old off the bus from Michigan just arrived in San Francisco. And good vibrations has been around for,

I don't know, now what is that 40 years or something. And they you walk in and there's just a bunch of people that take a bright lid store and like there's a bunch of colorful toys everywhere And like they're just like, hi, can I help you? I was like, I've never bought a toy before and they know they've heard this before They're like, great. How can I help? What let's go over here? And they're like, both, you know, I think I probably said I'd never had an orgasm I that's where I was at. I'd never really had one. So they walked me through the glitter They just explained it to me and like I went home with like a G-Spot book and toys. And I think I just got rid of them. My first toys, because I had to clean out my garage.

I was holding on to them from nostalgic reasons. Yeah, but for you, you do have kind of a, it would be like, I feel like years from now too, having your evolution of toys, there will be some kind of museum and it would be- There will be a museum. And it will be the Emily Morse section and it will be sex with Emily and it will be that- They will be cleaned.

They will be cleaned. Yes. But I can see that happening. I feel like people will flock to that. People will flock to that. I think they will. I know every toy in the book. So yeah, I mean, in Vanessa you can all review them.

I guess I'm Yelp. I'm sure Yelp does a thing of sex toy stores. I fight you everything in Yelp. Not a sponsor, but I do. I guess I'm yelp. I'm sure yelp does a thing of sex toy stores. I fight you everything in yelp. Not a sponsor, but I do. I'm just like, where am I in the world? Like, I've done it in different countries, in different cities. So I feel like it's gonna be a great experience for you

just to walk in the store and ask for you one list and they have great information. You can also order it from our website too. But I think a toy is a big investment. So if you live near one of these great sex positives, toy stores go in there and like take a gander and they're not like pushy. Like they are trained in these stores.

Like they know that you're coming in there and you might never have an orgasm. You've never been into a sex toy. You've just assumed, just like I assume every night, it's the same thing you guys. Sex is a very scary topic. I understand that. I assume every night you're on the show

that you guys are just driving along. Maybe you've never heard the show. Maybe you've never listened or you've never talked to anybody ever in your life about your sex life and you're calling in and I get that. So there's that I have that. Like I'm not assuming that you guys are comfortable with this or you even have like I said talked about it. So sex these stores that you go into are the same. Like they get how charged it is. They get that you don't know. And they're just there to kind of make it an easy experience. They're like your sex toy concierge.

I will say even back before, like, when I was 18 and I was going into one of those random shops that I just saw on the street because I was buying something for a friend, they were also like, while it was a little like, not as inviting as like when I went to good vibrations in San Francisco like They were not pushy though. They weren't like you have to buy this toy Yeah, you need to stick this in your vagina and buy it like they were very nice. Exactly. They're not like use car salesman

Exactly. They're not like about it. We got two for one here on the rabbit dildo like they're not gonna say that They're gonna be like kind. Love me. Really? I'm just imagining how that would go down. I would be so fucking scared. To be the place to form. I would just back out of the store. Just like, I, no, this is not.

Well, I think because she had a bad experience. So just remember you guys, whatever is holding you back right now, like if you're just listening to this and you're like, I could never do that. It's actually, I could never do that, sexually or I could never do that. Whatever it is, is probably something based in fear or something bad happened once. You experienced it one time. It wasn't great.

And so now, it's holding you back from something in your life. It could be sexually or professionally. This is from Bobby, who's 41 in Georgia. Hi, Dr. Emily. And the last couple of years, my wife has gotten a little bit heavier. When we try doggy style, it's harder to get into her and stay in. Any help? All right, Bobby.

I do have help for you. So here's a thing. There is a book, first of all, that is like my Bible. It's called Curvy Girl Sex. It's about being curvy, having a little more weight on you. How do you modify certain sex positions? So I feel like this position can be helped with a few things. Putting a pillow under her butt or her pelvic area can really help her elevate.

So if you're having a doggy style and you could also do it, so for any position you're doing a pillow and this goes for everybody to be honest that when you elevate your pelvic floor, it can be easier to penetrate to go inside a woman or when you put under your bum it can also help and also putting your legs closer together is something that can help and also doing it off the side of the bed. So here's the thing about doggy style. If you like doggy style she could still be on the bed and you could be off of the bed and so you could still be able to penetrate her from behind when she's on the bed.

And this can also be helpful for pregnancy sex as well. We've got some of those questions coming in. So what other positions, dog style, standing up or some other things? I think that people forget to a dog, like I really like to be like flat. Yeah. And then like I feel like that helps. Like a lot of times, I feel like you have to have your legs like, you have to have to be like up and like, on all fours. Yeah, I think you have to be like a dog. Like, literally like a dog. You're right. People don't think to modify it.

You could go half down. You could go all the way flat. Put your legs closer together. That could also help with you, if you're slipping out, that could help as well. To modify it. But you guys have fun with these positions. You're no one's, there's no like sex police. So if you're in a position that's gotten a little stale, you're like, we always do missionary.

There are so many ways to mix up the missionary position just by moving your legs, putting your legs over your partner's shoulders or leaving one leg down, one leg up, like sitting up together, so you're holding each other. There's a lot of different ways to make it interesting because sex is going to get stale and it's going to get boring and essentially I'm here to help you make it more interesting. People are really into positions right now.

So we have a email, I mean sorry, an Instagram question from a 26 year old female. I'm not confident being on top but would really like to be how. Ooh, okay you want to rock woman on top, I hear you. So I think that the best, the thing to do is to know that like, um, to do something that makes you feel sexy so you could be wearing something like you don't have to get to if it's about your body, you could be wearing something on you that makes you feel great. But also here's the thing about woman on top, you are in control of the depth and your control of the motion and the way you feel great. But also, here's the thing about woman on top. You are in the control of the depth and your control of the motion

and the way you're moving. So really, if you understand your body, like the thing that's helped gonna help most of the confidence, is if you actually know what feels good to you and you know how to move. So a lot of that can be done during, you know, masturbation and figuring out your own body,

but I think on top, it's just a matter of practice. And it's a matter of knowing that your partner's having sex with you and they want to be with you and focusing more on being in your body, which is a practice, it's a lifetime practice. I think a lot of us, one of the biggest challenges I think we all have is we are two in our head during sex. And we're not in the moment.

And I think we're thinking too much, how am I looking on top? How am I looking on the bottom? What's my orgasm face? But when you can kind of practice, just breathing deep when you find that you're getting distracted and just kind of moving and really paying attention, like how does it feel now with my body on top of my partner?

How do I want to move here? It actually will allow you to find what feels good and then in as a result, that will give you more confidence. So it takes a little practice and patience and being confident. Sometimes you gotta, I hate saying you fake it to you, make it but in a way, like if you can just say,

I'm not, I'm gonna just suspend this. I'm gonna be like, I might be thinking over thinking this but I'm really gonna try to move right now what feels good to me. And then you might go back to being in your hat and then you can go back to moving how you want. So it's a practice. Thanks everyone for listening and for supporting the show,

telling a friend, reviewing us, wherever you listen to the show and subscribing. And thank you to my amazing team, to practice. you