Sex With Emily - A Sex With Emily Threesome

Episode Date: July 18, 2018

On today’s show, Emily is joined by comedian Ben Morrison and producer Jamie to talk about all things dating, breakups, and sex. The trio discuss the mistakes you might be making on dating apps, fights that can lead to your relationship’s downfall, and why women are really freezing their eggs. Plus, they help listeners put their foot fetish forward, break into the dating scene, and what to do when people get distant. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Aaptiv, Adam & Eve, Apex, JO Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm joined by comedian Ben Morrison and producer Jamie to talk about what mistakes you're making on dating apps, what fights might lead to a breakup, and what to do when people get distant. All this and more, thanks for listening. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute.

The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, but only? What do you mean, like laundry? It's drinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so proud. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information check out sexwithemily.com. Check out everything happening on our site in life. I love when you subscribe to the podcast. It's easy to do it on iTunes and to write us a comment about how you feel out the show and also at sex. Emily crossed the board all social media Instagram Facebook Twitter. I love hearing from you and I think I give good social media So that's almost all for my announcements, except for I want to tell you that my heart

is bursting with love for you, the universe. Now before the show, I was like, you guys, I got some announcements to make. That's good. That's that was really good. Wow. That was so talented. Sure am.

Wow. You want to hear the sound of a car driving by you on the highway? Yeah. Wow. I'm so talented. Sure am. Wow. You want to hear the sound of a car driving by you on the highway? Yeah. And for this show, we're only going to be doing sounds. Exactly. It's fun with Ben. Fun bed.

Okay. Sorry. What's up? What's up? Okay. So what I'm saying is You're fun Okay, so is that And my heart is I was thinking about what I write now. It's been something to be anywhere

I just came back from Vermont. It was really fun. I was at Wonderless Festival in Vermont I gave a few speeches if you talk there Ben was there with. I was at Wonderless Festival in Vermont. I gave a few speeches, give you talks there. Ben was there with me. That was fun. And I was thinking, I have nothing else to end out. I'm not going to be anywhere in the next few months. So the next year, I hope to be traveling a lot more to see you all around the world. But really just that, gosh, I'm so, it's my 13th year doing sex with Emily. And every day, every week, we're getting more listeners who are listening for the first time. And I get to come into the office every day and help everybody and do a job that I absolutely love. Work with people that I adore that are really friggin smart and fun and funny.

And all of you listeners, so thank you. My heart is full. That's my announcement. I love you all. For real. Like I always say, love you guys, I'll be right back. But I really mean like I'm having immense moments. I'm gratitude.

I've got gratitude, yo. Okay, section of the news. It's all. That's the heartfelt moment of the day. Three relationship experts tell the biggest mistakes on dating apps. Producer Jamie, hello. Hello.

You have not done any sound effects, but Jamie is here. I have not, I'm not really like, I know. I make weird voices when I'm randomly in the office. I picked up your voice. Jamie's been working with three of us. Ta-da! What do you do? I don't even know how he did that so you pointed it out.

Yeah and now I do it. And you're like, you're like, I hate that you do that. I was like, I don't even know how I did that. And now she does it so I'm like, you know, it's not hate it that much. It grows on you. It does. You grow on me. Everyday. No, but anyway, we've all it's not hated that much. It grows on you. It does, you grow on me. Oh, every day. No, but anyway, we've all dated and apps. Ben, Jamie, so for science.

Experts, for science, literally my first, my first Tinder, my first date ever on a social media app was on a dating app was on Tinder. I found a Tinder date. I said, come to my show, I met it online. It really was for research. But whether you're dating online now, you have in the past,

and I feel like it's like every day there's someone breaking up, someone joining a dating app, someone falling in love, so it's a cycle. But let's tell you that they've been around for a while now, and you just want to talk about some of the mistakes you're making. So, online dating is still new enough that there's still a lot of confusion over how it works.

So if you're staying up at 3 a.m. starting to craft a Tinder bio that screams single and ready to mingle, but also totally chill about this. Totally chill about life. Know that you're not alone. When I was on the apps, I'm very happy that I no longer am. Because I think they get a little soul crushing. I mean, you go through waves, like you're burning the apps up for a while

and then the amount of work you kind of have to put into it. It's like a full-time job. Swiping away. Well, that goes into the point number one. Here's some of the worst things to do. Spending more than 30 minutes a day browsing profiles, according to Bumble's in-house sociologist,

she previously worked at Tinder. 30 minutes is a sufficient amount of time to spend on dating apps, 15 in the morning, 50 a night. People are busy, they think about dating as a component of their life, it shouldn't feel like it's another job. And I felt like it was like it kept popping up all the time and you're always gotta be online. So don't spend, give yourself limits.

Cause then it's organized. And it's like you check your mail once a day, you know, you're always got to be online. So don't spend, give yourself limits, because then it's organized. And it's like you check your mail once a day, your apps, so it's overwhelming for sure. It is overwhelming. To spend so much time. Then it doesn't feel like a job. You don't have to check the latest message just every five minutes, just like you do Instagram.

You're already checking things enough. But the experience is wildly different for women than it is for men. Because you're the one being hunted. You probably have an inbox filled with messages all written from some hopeful dude who was probably sending that one message like you are one of like 20 chicks that are not responding to it. Exactly.

Okay, here's the other mistakes people are making on apps. Obscuring what they're really looking for in a relationship. The importance of being up front in your dating profile, if you're looking for something serious, say so. I sense where embarrassed about saying what we want in a relationship or in person, there's a trend that caring too much is not cool. And I feel like they're definitely a trend for people saying, like, oh, I don't want to catch the feels and I just want to be casual. And it's not cool to say what you want in a dating app. You're actually wasting time

if you're not being specific about what you want. And I think that people make the same mistake in life. We just are afraid to go and tell our partners what we really want or what we're looking for in our relationship because we're afraid. Like, think about how messed up with this you guys. Think about messed up this is. You're trying to find love.

You're trying to find something that you want to spend a lot of time with for some people the rest of your life, or at least a good chunk of time. Why wouldn't you be on so what you want? Like why not? Because how great. Guess what? If they don't like you because you're saying you're looking for something serious, if you're like, I really want a serious relationship and that person doesn't call you back

or doesn't message you back, that's a good thing. You're reading people out. So this home mentality of let me just be cool and not say what I want, you're doing half the job online. You're just dating half ass, so you are wasting time. Be specific. Well, I never knew though, like when I was on, people don't know what they want.

Why didn't know what's right? Like if I was literally just looking to, know find people to have fun with and I wasn't looking for a relationship You realize when you're writing it. There's no way to like essentially right I'm just looking for a good time without kind of seeming like a douche Right, so I like you write one you had one like tender profile that's like super short Like hey, just looking to have fun fun Someone have fun. You're like I fuck I can't do that right you erased the whole thing You're like I was born in Boston

Right you could tired you could write like not looking for a one-night stand But also not looking to get hitched, you know kind of keep it like yeah exactly you could say that and I'm trying to figure out What I'd love to find a relationship, but I also don't want to brush anything. Yeah, I was trying to remember what I had in mind. I don't even think I like setting that. I was just like, I don't know, let's just hang out. Yeah. I mean, where in can we write this?

Where in can we write this? I'll say it's true. Here's what, okay, let me also do this. I get it, saying like, I only want relationships. Like, I don't want to hook up. Like, that could be really weird too and some people don't really know what they want. So maybe we're saying, if you definitely know

that you're not looking for anything serious, say that. Or if you definitely know that you do want something serious, say that if you want, nothing, but you can just kind of talk about yourself and say you're looking to meet someone that could mean a lot of things. But when you go on the date, I think I'm also saying, carry that conversation into the date.

Like, continue to be honest You could even say I'm not sure what I want you could say what you don't want But I don't want to sleep with several people right now I am looking towards finding one person. I'm not sure where I'm gonna get there And then you could just kind of find out how that person matches with you But I think we don't we just don't reveal anything. We just kind of accept I don't know we're just afraid of being judged and people are rejecting us for what we want.

I've been there. As a guy, again, women can write whatever they want on the app. I mean, the truth of it is that the profile gets better. No one's reading it. Later. They're all this whole photo base. But as a guy, I was always very torn.

Do I sound, am I mysterious? So am I like, here's who I am, you know? I don't really know what I ever wind up settling on. I never, I don't think I ever really had like a silver bullet profile. And you're always worried about your fucking photos, like is this a good photo to a swap photo?

Yeah, to ask your friends, you guys, if you're, ask your friends to kind of give you some feedback on the photos. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, what about you, James? So you just said, okay guys, if you're, ask your friends to kind of give you some feedback on the photos. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. What about you, James? So you just said, okay, so I mean, I get, I can think of talking about the apps,

but I think what you write, but it's also in person. I mean, I hate when there's like no buy at all, because I'm just like, He's like, I'm hot then, or whatever you're swiping with. Especially if they're not actually that hot, because then it's like, you're really really really putting a lot of pressure on yourself Right now like not doing anything and these pictures are not great. Yeah, I don't know It was not I didn't like that. I'm not a good experience

Okay, well the third thing is that people are just relying on an algorithm to find their soul mates Apparently these algorithms and dating sites don't actually work So they did this study in the field and they had students felt questionnaires before a speed dating session and used a mathematical model to predict who would like who. As it turned out, the mathematical model they used at a worst job of predicting attraction and simply taking the average attraction between two students in the experience. The thing about Tinder and Bumble is the really the best things you can say about them is they allow you to meet the greatest number of people.

These companies are not saying, I'm going to find you your soulmate per se. So it just says, you're going to go out with 10 people in a month that you might, if you date that many people that you might never have met. It's just up in the numbers. So don't think that the algorithms are specifically matching you with like your soulmate because I don't think it's like that. I don't think anyone's thinking that the algorithm is there to give them more.

I don't know. I mean, hopefully not. Maybe on match. Maybe on match. Maybe on like the stuff you pay for. Pitch for mingle. What's the other one? E-harmony. E-harmony. That's all about match.

That's about love. Right. And I think it is true when we hear that people are meeting online. It's because they met someone. They wouldn't know they're met. They've been on a bunch of dates or maybe just one, but you... I mean, it is good. Like, it gets you to meet people you might not ever meet. And like, I do have, like, a really good friend who met her boyfriend on Bumble, actually funny story crashed their first

date by accident. And... He did? Yeah. Well, I just went into the bar and they were there and we just... I would not write your friends there. I think that's why they got together because it had such a good time. But, you're like, he's cool. Evening over like two years now, they look so in love and like he lives like. Go on all their dates still.

All the time. Do you think it's like a proper, a proper, a proper, a proper, a proper, a proper? Yeah, no, it's actually me and my other friend Anthony, we like, it was like a double date, really. I love it. It wasn't really, but it was fun. No, I get it, it's good.

It's good when your friends meet your people to know if you're like, if they're your friends cool and you are there in the first date, I like this person for you. Yeah, but I'm just saying like you do, like she lives in like Ventura County, so they never would have met each other. So they're good for stuff. It's good. It can be good for things.

So those are tips. Any other things you guys want to add to this? Keep going. Mistakes that you ever make again dating that we don't mention here. Apps. Ben as a man, was there anything that pissed you off about women? Hmm. Did you know that mistakes? The no bio thing. That is annoying. You want something to go off. Oh, I didn't like it when their app profile was not linked to Instagram. Oh, I never did because of the sex. Because you're like, well, I don't know if I can trust the realness of this.

There's a lot of catfishes out there. That's true. It's a good point. You want more context. They say, and I've done a lot of talks about this, studies about this, but there are worse studies that say that people who connect to their Spotify, they're linked in there, whatever. They're more likely to get it. Well, you also have a view.

Because it gives you context. You have a much larger view of how they actually look, because, you know, I've definitely gone, I went on enough dates where they show up and you kind of like want to fucking hold the phone next to their head and be like, how, how, how, how is this you? You know, this is, this is you 50 pounds ago. No, my friends thought someone was catfishing me. Really? And they're like, because they're like,

look at these pictures, they look like they got them off the internet, because like it wasn't like any close up pictures of his face, but I met the guy and he was definitely not a catfish. He was super hot in Australia. Okay, ooh, I should answer. Yeah, but he, I don't know, there's a crazy story that goes along with that. Oh yeah? Yeah. Okay. Oh, I should answer. Yeah, but he there. I don't know. There's a crazy story that goes along with that. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Maybe want to give us a little tidbit. Well, okay, so we only like went out like three or four times and the last time I went over to his apartment We had sex whatever and I was just kind of looking around his room just looking at things and there was like these two pieces of paper on the wall that had a bunch of names written in like purple marker or something. And then some of the names had like lines that connected them to like little tiny drawings of cars. And I was just like, okay, that's kind of odd, but whatever. But then I noticed that

two of the names that were on there was Jamie and Sam and they were connected and the guy that I was seeing right before him was named Sam. So I was just like, well, baby, he was a little catfish, she crazy. So I thought that that was kind of odd, but then I was like, oh, I'll ask him about it next time. I never actually ended up seeing him again. So I was like, maybe he was a murderer. Who knows? God, I'm glad you got out of there.

He was really hot though, and I'll Australian. Yeah, but I could look past them. No, I can't. No, no, I'm glad you're still here and you live to tell. You guys be careful with people too. Yeah, it's a scary world out there. Okay, so if you have any other dating questions,

let me know, but I think that dating online is a, if you're single and you're looking to meet somebody, do it, date online, but also be out in the real world. You can meet people that way too. I've not been in the real world. See, guys, sometimes you just gotta. He's cute, but it's our talking to me. That's like, the best pickup line ever is hi, I'm Ben.

What's up? Literally, that is the best pickup line. You know, like, you know, think about, like, this thing about the apps is that, you know, you kind of had to be a pervert in person, you know, previous to the apps. Yeah. You actually had to be a pervert in person, you know, previous to the apps. Yeah. You actually had to put your shit on the line.

You had to lay someone in the eye and potentially get rejected in your eyes. Right, but now people are so afraid of it that they're just sitting behind their phones. And fellas, I'm telling you, that's how you meet the best ladies, because they're out in the real world. And I've always said this attraction isn't, attraction isn't someone's profile picture. It's like it's how they smell when you stand next to them. You know, it's the way the sun hits their eyes, you know, on a nice morning, you know.

That's awful. That's real attraction, you know. When you're in a room with someone and you actually see them in front of you and you're like, fuck, that woman is beautiful. That's gonna last your whole relationship. You know, on the app side, find I'd build up some whole idea about this person with those six

carefully curated photos. And then you're starting with an immediate letdown. Right. You know, and that's gonna stay with you because you're gonna be like, well, this isn't what I thought I was getting, you know, whereas if you just go up to women in the real world, what you're getting is really what you're getting. That's true. And here's the thing you guys, it's okay if she has talked to you rejection, he hasn't talked to you. It's like, it's practice and it's sort of the more comfortable you get talking to people and just saying hi,

whether you're attracted or not, it's just gonna become, it's gonna become easier to you. And it's a great skill that you can use in life. And there you go. Yeah. Just talking to people. Yeah, I love meeting people out. I love it too.

I love it. You're saying Ben, we were at this show last, were we at a party show last night and you were like, the night before, I was just talking to you, that I just meeting people out. I love it too. You're saying Ben, we were at this show last, we were at a party show last night, and you were like, the night before, I was just talking, that I just talked to you. I love, I love, we were at your friends party in front of you night. And I was like, talking, like you said,

I love watching talk, it's like, because we don't go out with him that much in the sense of, I don't know, it's lately, but I was like, I really, truly love walking to room where I don't know anybody, and just like, having conversation. And that's, it's fun for me to watch you work a room. Worker room.

Well, work room in the sense that you're very charming and everyone intrigues you. You know, they do. You're very good about including anyone who's around you and whatever conversation is happening. I enjoy it. All right, people. Here's another story. Ready? Women are freezing their eggs.

And here's why. Not because they're afraid they're working on the career. You know, you, ready? Women are freezing their eggs, and here's why. Not because they're afraid, they're working on the career, you've heard about women's freezing their eggs. It's probably been in the news now for like the last 10, 15 years. It's been like a thing. And just do by age, what's the ideal age, like 34 or 35, I think? Point is, we think it's because, well, I'm so busy with my career, and I have time to have, I want to make sure I have eggs later,

so I can, you know, because every year after the age of like Whenever you get pretty 17 women's your eggs will drop but the amount of eggs women are freezing their eggs Because they cannot find secure relationships rather than to delay having children when I pursue a career a new study suggests of Those who opt to preserve eggs for social reasons most do so to concerns over lack of stable partnerships according to Yale University. Many people wrongly believe they preserved their extra frivolous reasons.

So the research was very interesting. They said the lack of the stable partner is the motivation. The research examined interviews of 150 women from four IVF clinics in the US and three in Israel who completed at least one cycle of egg freezing. He found four and five 85% did not have partners at the time. Career planning was the least common reason for having their eggs frozen.

Even women who worked for companies were egg freezing insurance was offered. That's pretty frigging cool. If you want to see. Yeah, it's some places offer that. Yeah, not in the US. Which is a free-than-reaction, just because they can't meet a non-crazy guy. At that point, yeah.

Exactly. People are delaying pregnancy. They're delaying marriage. You know women used to have, they have, they're at early 20s. And now people are having kids in their 30s. We never even heard of you loving kids in their mid to late 30s, 40s. And so I think that think that people are doing it for a lot of reasons now.

And, but they're not doing it for career. And it says the earlier they're frozen, the more likely they are to turn into healthy pregnancies. So if a woman freezes her eggs were 35, she would have had to use them or discard them before she was 45, which seems completely irrational and cruel because society is quite happy with them

to use donor eggs when they're 50. So they're saying they should last a little bit longer. What does it cost to freeze and or store? I think it's like $10 to $15,000. The whole process is really expensive. Do you have to pay monthly to keep it frozen? I think probably, but they probably wrap it all into a plan. But I know it could be like between $10,000 to $15,000.

Like you're paying rent for your eggs. Literally your rent to your eggs. I you're going to get your ex. I wouldn't think it's putting me around for a user like this and I've got a pretty good half of a present. Just like clearly like that. That's not those ex. Not those ex. Maybe I made an omelette, I found these great.

What? How do we the world's tiniest omelette? Oh my god. Oh my god. All right. Anyway, so all I'm saying here is I just think it's interesting. So, and I also think it's that women should look into it. If you are, you know, if you're before 35, typically early, you know, free drags, check it out.

If you're thinking you're not. Right? Yeah, because it does. It's a lot harder for women to get pregnant every year after 30, really. Alright. Jane, I don't know. You still have some time. Jamie doesn't think she wants kids.

No. But she might. I don't want you to. Maybe. A little egg on ice and. But she might. I don't want you to. A little egg on ice and figure that out later. I guess, I don't know. I'm just like hoping that none of my eggs actually like work.

Oh, Jay, don't put that after the universe. You don't know yet. I don't know yet, but. I also like the study arguments that could be in the end of your relationship. Can you tell if your spats have veered into territory that relationship experts identify as dangerous?

Check out the warning signs and what you can do about repairing your bond. I like these studies because I think that if you're listening, you're like, hmm, we have been doing that lately. Do I need to hold on to this anger? Can we move past it? So the first one is, um, how about this? When you fight, you insist you're right. I understand it can be tough to say,

I was wrong in a relationship, but it must be done. My grandma used to say, do you want to be right? Or do you want to be happy? That's interesting. Yeah. No, I get, that's like the sitcom trope. It is. That like...

Happy wife, happy life, yeah. You know, kind of a thing. But I don't It is. That like, happy wife, happy life. Yeah, yeah. You know, kind of a thing. But I don't think you should, like people have a really hard time being like, I'm sorry, I was wrong, but I don't get it. It's like just, you know,

just be like, oh, you know what? I know I just said all of these things, but make a good point. I'm going to concede now. Yeah. I'm so good at apologizing. Do you have to do it a lot? Yeah. All right. You're going to concede now. Yeah. I'm so good at apologizing. Like, do you have to do it a lot? Yeah. Sometimes.

You've got my flowers today. Oh, is that like not just like a nice gesture? Well, it's been a while since I brought you flowers. I like these flowers. But I also went out and I didn't, you know, I went out late last night in the text dude and I felt bad about that. I was okay, but thank you.

I know you were, but I don't like the idea that I'm worrying you at all. And anyway, yeah, in previous relationships, the apologies were necessary. Yeah. Of course, I mean, my previous relationships were so fucking chaotic that it was just chaos. It was a lot of chaos, so there was always something that needed to get discussed. Yeah, how about you, James? Are you up? I mean, I think I literally hate arguing so much. a lot of chaos. So there was always something that needed to get discussed. Yeah, how about you, James?

Are you up for a while? I mean, I think I literally hate arguing so much. Like I, well actually this past weekend, me and the guy and me and the guy I'm seeing, we got into a little tiff. And he, like, he realized after, like, after it was like very silent in the car for like 20 minutes. We silatryped with Jamie. I was just like, because for me, when I know

it's not going anywhere, I'm like, okay, look, I'm just gonna stop talking, because this is not constructive. So I'm just gonna be done for a second. And then you can decide whether or not you want to have a regular conversation about it, kind of thing. But afterwards, he realized he's like, I'm sorry, I did say some things to kind of rile you up.

And I'm like, I know, and I hate arguing, so don't do that. Right? Good. But he apologized later. He's like working on the apology thing. You got to practice about it. You got to be got to practice if sometimes apologizing, but it really, it feels good, you know.

The other thing is, let's see what here, when you fight you, it you insist that you're right, you just agree about having kids. You like to talk about having kids before you got married, but feelings can change. Perhaps one fears kids, we'll get the way of a career path, or you want to keep up trying after fertility issues, but if you're not the same page,

this will lead to resentment. Yeah, I don't think you can do that. You can't talk to someone to get in good accounts. No, or a threesome. Don't, that's not gonna heal your relationship or change it. You really, you can't. Babies talk so much getting good. No, no. Or a threesome. Don't, that's not going to heal your relationship or change it. You really, you can't. Babies and threesome's not the way you feel. But let's have a kid then we'll fall in love again.

Not have threesome with babies, probably. No, definitely not. Parenting is hard enough when both people are in board. So you guys listen to this one. You having the same argument over and over again. Here you go again. You're scolding him for not changing the 12-year-old. Your issues are probably deeper, like what religion to raise your kids. Believe it go again. You're scolding him for not changing the toilet roll. Your issues are probably deeper,

like what religion to raise your kids. Believe it or not, you're not arguing what you think you're arguing about according. The Gottman Institute, which is, you guys I love John Gottman, he's like the foremost researcher on relationships and the predictors of divorce and relationships and how couples can say together.

He says repeating conflict in your relationship represents the differences in your lifestyles and personalities. This might lead to divorce if you let the arguments seriously escalate, you fight dirty, and then you shut down, refuse to talk, are excessively blame. Make sure you know the signs of a toxic relationship.

And one of them is when you just have the same argument, you've contempt, you are judging each other a lot. You can't say I'm sorry, but it's interesting. If you, usually that same argument is not about that argument. So you need to go to therapy, and have like, which is essentially mediator to help you guys get to the meat of it.

But if it's the same argument for 20 years, like, yeah. Okay, you argue about sex. Huge, you guys. If one of you wants sex, the other doesn't, that lack of intimacy can mean you're in a platonic relationship because basically you're roommates. If you don't have any innate physical contact, the emotional vulnerability of sex,

it's not going to be great for your relationship. You didn't get married to become roommates or business partners. So you guys, they say that if sex is not a problem in your relationship, it might take up like 10% of your time, your concerns, but when it is a challenge, it's like 90%. Because you're not having sex, you're no longer intimate, and it becomes a much bigger thing. And that's when you might be fighting about a bunch of other things, but a lot of

it might, if you look at anything, come to the fact that you haven't been connecting sexually. And I feel like if you're fighting about sex, then it makes it seem like everything is about sex, because if you're not having it, and then you finally have that conversation, I feel like one partner's like, it's always sex with you, it's like, but we're not having it. So I think it just,

I feel like it does, like, encompass like every time. That's true. Don't just fight about the fact that you aren't having sex, talk about why you haven't, you're not having sex. Is it boredom, disinterest, distraction, the priorities? Are you not prioritizing it? Like all that matters. Yeah, fighting about sex is, that's bad.

That identifies two very big problems in a relationship. And I thought, I think what your point was very on the money is because you're usually fighting about a lack of sex, which means that not only are you not having sex, you're then fighting about the fact that something isn't happening, which then puts the person who doesn't want it in a position of feeling like they're being forced into something they don't want to do, that perhaps the relationship might need to stay afloat. It's a very tough situation to be in.

No, I mean, I remember I used to, me and my ex used to fight about sex because he randomly stopped going down on me and I was like, What's up? Like what is with that? I was like, I just gave you a blowjob for 30 minutes yesterday, and I don't get anything. What's happening? Did he have an actual answer? No, he was kind of just an idiot. We're cool now, but... I'd call you're cool.

Here's one, your fights turned into personal criticism. Like all you have to say is, can you unload the dishwasher for me? And instead you say, why can't you remember to unload the dishwasher, Ben? You guys, when it's Blamey and shamey, you guys tone is huge. Tone is a, it doesn't even matter what your partner says. So you don't want to criticize them, you don't want to blame them, you don't want to shame them. Name calling, name calling. That's so bad.

It's so disrespectful. And the other last one is you never fight. When I hear couples say, oh, we never fight, I hear alarm bells. So if you never fight, that could be the beginning of a break-up or if you were fighting a lot and it stopped. Like, I have an, I take an opposite view on this.

I think if you never fight, good. You know, I know I hear people say that if you don't fight, then that's a problem. Well, how is a problem having? Well, let me explain too. If you're fighting, okay. If you never disagree, like you and I will disagree over things, we don't fight.

I never think of it because I'm not a fighter. Like I don't think I've ever fought with Jamie. She's we've worked together every day for three years. Like I'm not a fighter, per se. But we have disagreements or we have things that we've worked through. I guess that kind of counts, but the people are like, we get along so well, everything's great.

And we don't ever fight, like as that's a badge. I hear a couple that doesn't really, is probably isn't communicating that well. Yeah, that was really nice. That was gotta be something that they're not saying. We never fight is good. We never disagree. I think that's what they mean. That's what they mean.

Boy, that a bad thing. Maybe they're just so on the same page. I think if you're not discussing your problems, your inner conflicts, what's going on? I think they're saying you never, you never disagree. I think what they're saying is. I mean, does that also mean that we- It's gotta be some point of disagreement. I think you gotta have just some heated conversations. Do you think that we never fight also means maybe that we just really don't open up to each other. Yeah, you don't open up to each other.

We don't really put anything on the line. Right. You're probably too afraid you don't want to be vulnerable and therefore you're just sort of coasting through the relationship. Yeah, I think stuff. Being able to like work through a disagreement and then being cool again, like kind of shows good growth in your relationship. But also, know that works for some people. I mean look if you if you are someone who doesn't really feel like opening up and you met a partner who feels the same way then that's maybe a good match. Okay you're right. I have to look

at the timing of it though. If you're like we never fight we never and everything is I just a lot of times I see there's things that are not been discussed. Well yeah I mean you know like we don't fight we've been together 50 years. If you can see, if you see a couple that says, we never fight, but you get a read on their energy and there's something off. Well, that's the thing, and I'm like, you can probably should talk stuff out.

If you see a couple that we never fight, but clearly these people, 80 shows. I think it's people who lead with, oh, we don't fight as like a badge of honor. But no, we never fight. Like, I feel like when they're using it as a way to justify things, that usually is the red flag for me because I'm like, that's not a great, like, that doesn't tell me that

you're healthy necessarily because you don't fight. And if that's the first thing you come up with, there's probably some more conversations. And if it's good to get into things into like, uh, because I find the way it is healthy communication, you actually get stronger in relationships when you handle that stuff and you get through it Well, I like the fact that you and I really don't fight we don't but we definitely have disagreements and we you know We talk through them we do it's actually really healthy like quickly and like we almost aggressively dive into the conversation Because it's just so it's so much easier you have you get so much more time in your life in Relationships if you just like look look her in the eye and say, look, let's, let's, let's talk this

through right now, you know, because one 10 minute conversation you can, that'll be painful to have will then give you, maybe like a whole week of good communication instead of like playing that game where we're just going to dance around an issue. Yeah, because all these things who were talking about these resentments that have been built over time, it's typically a series of like 10 minute conversations that you've delayed and you add that up over 10 year period. Yeah. And those are all the things.

You don't even remember that it was a fact that he didn't show up to your mom's birthday party or something. It's like, you don't remember. It's because you felt disappointed. He didn't know how important your work meeting was. Like, it builds and builds and builds. So if you get in the habit of in the moment and you've been good with me about this bend to, you're like, what's wrong?

Like, I don't even this weekend, something happened. And you're like, tell me like, Sunday, you were off. And you're energy, her energy shifts like, they know. They can feel it. Well, it's such a, it's such a, like a swing in the sense that you're so, you're so full of life, you're so vibrant. And then the second that Dr. Emily is looking at a corner, something is up, you know.

But you call me on it, am I okay? I think in certain situations, you know, I as a partner need to say, okay, is she in a place right now where she is open to talking about this? And sometimes you also just have to admit that maybe you just need a little quiet time, a little alone time, you just need to sit with your thoughts for a while.

I think as a partner, you always have to be shifting gears to figure out what the best speed for your relationship is. But the bigger point, like, is you have to have those 10 minute conversations that I like that's a good way to put it. You have to have those 10 minute conversations because then if you don't like Why didn't you unload the dishwasher or like I wish you would put more priority on you know cleaning the living room becomes a Fuk your brother Yeah, it's slippery slope between that empty dishwasher and fucking a family member After after ten years of someone not cleaning, that was good, you guys.

Thank you, Jamie and Ben. Will you hang out with me while we answer some emails? Of course. Okay, we summed that out. Those were all, if you want to know what we were talking about. Those were arguments that could be in the end of your relationship. That's dramatic, that's a headline. But just think if you're having those arguments, work to resolve them in your relationship.

Okay, now we're going to go ahead and do some more. Okay, so we're going to go ahead and do some more. Okay those were arguments that could be in the end of your relationship. That's dramatic, that's a headline, but just think if you're having those kind of arguments, work to resolve them in your relationship. Okay, now we're going to move on. Thanks, let's give a shout to our sponsors. I love you, as you know, and I love my sponsors, so I hope you guys can all get along and work together. We'll be right back, answer your emails. We're back.

We are back and we are so excited to hear from you and get your emails and we want to answer your questions. I love answering them. Just text Ask Emily, all one word to 7979, 7979 or go to my website, sexwithmwe.com. Click on the Ask Emily tab. Please include your name, your age, where you live, and how you listen to the show. This is from Albert 31, Australia. Hi Emily, I'm listening to your podcast for over six months and I love it.

My wife and I have been married for three years together over six years. Recently I had our first baby, he is now six months old and she is 32. Great detail, Albert. Question I have is, I have a foot slash pannio's fetish. I used to ask my wife to dress up a lot in the early stages of dating. Now, she thinks it's all related to porn and shouldn't be practiced, but I really enjoy it. Our sex drive has been down the last year, and now I'm not sure how to bring it up with her. Then I enjoy this fetish, and I want her to enjoy it too. Okay, Albert, so you guys, this is pretty common.

I mean, I'd say the foot slash panneos fetishes one of the most common fetishes. And here's the thing, I'm wondering if it's actually a fetish because let me remind you that a fetish is something that's actually required for a rousal on ejaculation, which means that Albert might not be able to even have an orgasm or really get turned unless... Like you have a foot or pantyhose or present or feats. So I'm curious if that's what it is or if it's like because if it's a fetish that

could be a much you know what they need to make a word in between fetish. Okay I'm just clarifying that but yeah, some advice from my man. Yeah, piece of advice number one Albert Start doing the laundry Take the laundry over from your wife. She will like that. I mean, I guess I'm assuming that she's she does it But if you do the laundry A it's less work for her and B you can get a good old sniff of them hose Right before you throw them in the machine., you can get a good old sniff of them hose right before you throw them in the machine.

Maybe you even have a little wink all over the hose and then throw them in the wash. You know, it can be your own little thing. Wow. That's actually a really good advice. Yeah. Do you hang out? Do you do it that way? You've been doing my laundry so much lately?

Dude, I jizz on everything before it goes in the wash. I mean, I guess that's the best time to do it because you're about to clean it. Hey, yeah, yeah, no harm, no foul. You guys are really smart. It's my biggest smartest thing I've said. You're so, you're so,

you're so advice number two. Make a mold of her foot. You know, you can submerge it in a little thing. You can make your own little foot that you can have wherever. These advice number two, make a mold of her foot. You can submerge it in a little thing. You can make your own little foot that you can have wherever. You can get a silicone mold of her foot. And then that's something that you can have for yourself to your own little private time.

Oh, that's a really innovative. I'm trying, I'm all about actionable shit that he can do. Because if the newborn baby, like the sex goes out of every relationship from what I can tell when kids are introduced. That's true. And especially if you have some kink, you need to figure out more creative ways to express your kink because you should never feel ashamed about what you're into. It's what you're into.

And that's just the way it is. But you do need to figure out a way that you can express that. That also works for the situation you find yourself in currently. I think all this is so good. Ben, that's just the way it is. But you do need to figure out a way that you can express that also works for the situation you find yourself in. I'm talking about this. You're so good. Ben, that's true. That's great advice. It was.

It's true that she's, yeah. I mean, I love it. But it's also true to the people. She had a kid six months ago. And I think that there's this notion that women should just kind of bounce back because doctors like oh, she'll be great after six weeks, but she probably is really tired,

her hormones are still changing. So I understand why your sex drives are a little different. So you have to have to be really patient with her. And I would try to just kind of bring back the intimacy if she's not really ready for intercourse and the relationship. Well, here's the other thing. She thinks it's all related to porn and shouldn't do practice,

but he did the beginning of the relationship. So I think that there's a certain understanding here that she has to know that like, it's something that really does the subject. This is what she signed up for. She signed up for it. You can't know. No, that's for porn.

That's not for me. But I understand people of kids, things change. Like as far as your partner, you're like, oh, but this is the father of my child. I can't have him sniffing pantyhose. She's like, some men are like, oh, I don't have my wife dressing up. Like, role-playing as a stripper.

I'd heard this the other day, my friend. She's like, the second we got married, he don't my wife dressing up like role-playing as a stripper. I had to hurt the other day, my friend. She's like, the second we got married, he was so into me dressing up as like the sexy stripper or something, and then I did it, and he was like, you're the mother of our child, and it's just like the Madonna whore thing. Like Madonna whore, it's like, her saying, no, we're all buttoned up,

and you guys, I'm telling you, the kickier, wilder, better sex you have that fills both of you will make you better parents, better citizens, better at your job, better parents, because you're gonna be fulfilled on a very base level that is so important that you can't toss out the window for some moral idea that you kept a button up and you can't do all these things

that you did before your children. I would also say to my man's wife, like, if that's your dude's fetish, that's a pretty easy fetish. Yeah, I would love it. I'd be like, I want a 10 minute foot massage. Oh my God. Yeah.

Well, they could just like go shopping together. And I'm sure we'll find an outfit that she feels really hot and really turned on and sexy in and then make it a thing together. I mean, maybe they make a deal. Like, he can have kink time if it comes with a gailer foot massage. You know? If she's into that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I would I'd be like do whatever you want if you give me like a

20-minute foot massage seriously. It's true. There is some quid pro quo here on some trading some some like what does she find hot? What's her fantasies? We got to get back her back into her body. I think there's not enough spoken about women post pregnancy, post childbirth, who really just, there's a lot going on. They're re-understanding, they're regina again. Everything's been out of whack. Their hormones are taking a nose. I mean, there's just a lot to do with it.

So you have like a human being shoot out of your vagina. Like that's gonna take some time to get back to it. I don't know how enthused I'd be about banging if a dude came out of your vagina, right? Like that's that's gonna take some time to get back to all the time. I don't know how enthused I'd be about banging if a dude came out of my dick. Right? It's just like, it's kind of like, let's, like, and they're like, oh yeah, six weeks you're fine, like, but what if you like, you know, a lot of times you're staring, it's

like, oh, I don't even want to think about this is why I don't want kids. I know. I can't go through the labor, I can't go through the pregnancy. I know. I like kudos to you to all the people out there that do it. Me personally, it's not happening. Do you feel like more friends?

You're in Jamie's 25. Do you feel like more of your friends feel that way now? Yeah, you do. Are you open to the idea that you're feeling on this might evolve or change? I open to it. I'm open to it, people tell me. I will never say I know for sure, but I'm pretty sure.

It's just not something that I feel like I want to have. I think babies are really cute. I think other people's kids are great. You can give them back. Right. So that's the thing. It's really is the rest of your life. And I know that when you have a kid in your whole view

and world changes, but I don't know. I just don't. I'd rather be than you. You still have time. Being an aunt is awesome. Thank you, Albert. Thank you for emailing and go work on that sex life with your beautiful wife.

OK, your lovely wife, your amazing wife. This is from Cat 28 Chicago. Hey Emily, I love your show. I have to ask this question because my girlfriend's and I constantly go through this. Guys will tell you everything you want to hear and when you finally give it up, they start getting distant and block you.

This has happened to my girlfriends and I whenever we date online, it's starting to make me act differently when I'm newly dating someone and holding off on anything sexual just so I don't get blocked. I also have a very high sex drive. I feel like I'm not being genuine when I really want to be sexual, but don't know because of the anxiety with the way these guys act. I need advice on how long we should wait before sleeping with these type of

guys and how should we approach dating someone you're into, but don't want to end up in the same situation even after having the discussion with them about the whole blocking thing. Okay, Kat, I find this very interesting. But this is a notion I hear this from women and men, but I guess I hear it from both sides of it, but yes, I've heard this argument from women that like, guys just want sex. And if I see it with the guy too quickly, he just get a block me and break up with me, he's used me for sex even though I told him and you're kind of reacting, it sounds very victim to me here, Kat.

They, you and your friends are feeling like guys are bad and guys are wrong. And I'm just, I have a hard time with this just because there are men like that. There are men who are on the apps. And yes, they're usually maybe they can be great charmer, they're really charming, they say all the right things. And I think you could pretty much tell the guys

that are gonna be assholes about it. Like you can just tell. So for me, I would say your picker might be broken here. Cat and that maybe it's the guy. I don't know what all your girlfriends are doing. And maybe you're trying to bring them on board the argument here. But I think you need you. I mean, I'm never going to tell you how long to wait for our sex. But I think, okay, you just need to slow down on the whole dating thing and have your eyes open, pay attention. Are there patterns in these guys? Well, I mean, I would say, from the mail point of view,

if she's getting serially blocked, you're doing something. Right. She's the com denominator here. Yeah, getting, I mean, blocking someone is a big statement, especially someone that you've had sex with. I mean, that means that their reaction is so off-putting

that I literally never want to talk to this person again. And if that happened to you once, maybe the guy was genuinely an asshole. But if you're getting blocked over and over again, like you said, the common denominator is you and your actions, you are doing something that is causing them to block away. And as a guy, if I meet someone and we sleep together, like I don't wanna block that person, like that could be a great booty call.

Like, you know, if we're being purely, you know, just purely superficial here. Like if you have established sexual relationship with someone like I was never big on one night stands anyway, you know, even if it was like a two or three night stand I like to I don't like the randomness of that but Blocking someone who you've had sex with means that they are they are doing something that is getting making you take like such a drastic step Yeah, and then the thing James the thing is to this though. She says like

Even when she's had the discussion with them about blocking, it's like, I don't know how I would feel if someone was like, yes, so for some reason, I keep sleeping with people and they keep blocking me. I'd be like, that's it. That might be a flair. So one, one point, Jamie, good point. Don't have the conversation about blocking per se, I would say, just be honest. Yeah. If you're honest.

What's with all these restraining orders against me? No, but when you're talking to them, you could just be honest about what you want. And it's not about how long you should wait with these type of guys, because it's like, if a guy's just going to wait till you have sex to leave, it doesn't matter if it's been three months, he'll still leave after sex.

So you just need to be more upfront with what you want, what you're looking for, and hopefully the guy will also be up front. He'll stop just giving up the booty. You know what I'm saying? I'm just waiting until you feel like that. I mean, my ex-boyfriend were together for three years, and we had sex before we even were like, hey, are we going to date? I think that's pretty common.

It happens. You know, it's like you, it doesn't matter. It's not working for Kat. It's not working for Kat. And Kat's got some, I don't know if she's, Kat also wanna know about your drinking. Cause I'm wondering if there's some kind of alcohol

involved here. If something happens, we're getting blocked. Like, I just don't know, or that this keeps repeatedly happening to you. So I think it's always good to, or just, just hold back on the, she's getting block out drunk. I don't know, maybe, like,

sounds like I think it's good to just. There it is. Yeah. I've been laughing. We do that all the time. But here's the thing. I just think that go on these days with your eyes wide open cat, you can kind of figure out a pattern here and know how to kind of you'll know what the right thing is to do.

And the fact that you're talking to your friends and you're all the guys are this and that just I don't like that old mentality. How you'll know what the right thing to do. And the fact that you're talking to your friends and all the guys are this and that. I don't like that old mentality. How about there's some great guys in the city. Let's go find them and just kind of not date these kind of guys anymore. Also, also new apps, different apps. Cause this sounds like a Tinder problem. Get the fuck off Tinder. Like if you really want a connection in a relationship, invest in match or e-harmony.

I mean, at this point, if you're on Tinder, you probably want some physical companionship in a short amount of time. If you're on Bumble, you probably like the idea that, you know, I'd say there's a more quality pool of people on Bumble, but as a guy, it's very frustrating because a lot of the time, you just never get message. But with the whole swipe my face, apps, but as a guy, it's very frustrating because a lot of the time you just never get message.

But with the whole swipe my face apps, that's more about sex than it is about love. If love is your goal, get on e-harmony, get on match, put a lot of time into your profile. I don't think you'll have these problems on e-harmony. You know? And also put yourself as out there in the world too, maybe dating people you, friends, friends

that have been dating. Good old real life. Remember that? Yeah, get your girlfriends together, go out, take a class, do something fun. Yeah. There's like that, oh I really want it's like a drink and draw, it's like you drink wine and you paint pictures. I love that. That'd be nice. Yeah. I love doing some kind of activity at that. Yeah. Making something, building something, cooking something. Okay, let's do one more. And I like this one, because I think Ben can kind of out,

having a male here is kind of nice. Michael and Utah? Yeah. Michael, 20 in Utah. Hamilly, I've been listening to your show for about a month, but brought me to your podcast as I come from a religious background that taught me all the wrong ways to be sexually healthy.

Now I've had a couple of relationships before, but I've never actually had sex. I moved to city, go to school and have started to get involved in the dating scene but I'm nervous because I feel that I'm kind of late to the party and I fear that's prevent me from being involved with girls in a romantic way. I would love to hear any advice you have about getting over the initial hill of expressing yourself sexually and dating. Thanks. So Michael's 20 and yeah he realizes that it's a muscle.

It's a new skill that you have to learn to build to date and to have relationships and that he's nervous because he started school and he feels like he's behind in the dating game. Well, I mean, what I would say to that is you are, you're fine. Like, I didn't have sex until I was almost 19 and then I didn't have sex for a whole other

year after that. And then once I figured out my own ways of relating to women, you'll make up for plenty of lost time, but you are in no way. Your age and the fact that you're still a virgin should not concern you. It's very normal. How did you get, do you remember, you just started going to college and talking to people? Well, yeah, I just, I felt very unattractive in high school.

I think it was a combination of where I was physically and definitely where I was socially at that high school. I just never felt like I had the charm muscle, you know, with women. I felt very awkward around them. And I think that had a lot to do with where I was. At the time, and then once I got to New York City, I was able to kind of discover who I was

and discover how I related to women. And then I would say to him, just don't overthink it. Don't overthink it. Honestly, just be yourself, be awesome, be good to people, have great friends, and everything will work itself out. That's exactly what I was gonna say.

Well, I just say, over thinking is the enemy of charisma. Everything. You know? Right. I think that I was gonna say the same thing though, but it's so true that it's not like, people think of this as like, I have to get the new dating skill and I have to get the sex skills down. So what I mean to woman, and she comes back to my apartment,

I know what to do. It doesn't really work like that. It works like having a full life. You have a lot to talk about because you have friends. You're into school. You're into your life there on campus. Your family, like whatever it is, you've got a rich life and you're practicing

talking to everybody and having a community, a community in the classroom, a community outside. And like to me, that's always been like, if you have that, you truly have a full life. In every way, it's going to be a lot easier to connect to other people rather than just like, and then I understand the nerve. So come up when you're on a date with someone, but that passes over time when you realize that people just want you to be yourself.

And you become confident. And when you meet a good girl, and you're just open about the fact that, you know, you're still kind of getting your sea legs and it just be genuine. Nothing is more attractive than honesty and contents in the sense. The only skill you need to develop right now is just being the dopest version of yourself that you can possibly be. Yeah. Because then you'll find when you find a good partner, perhaps you know Utah being a premier like a heavily Mormon state, maybe you meet a girl who's in the, a, a, a heavily Mormon state. Maybe you meet a girl who's in the exact same boat that you're in, you know?

I think there's a lot of almost expats from the church who are figuring who are, who, who, who are going through this journey, you know? I mean, shit, that could be quite likely that you meet someone and then once you're just honest with them, they're like, you know, I think we have a lot of the same issues. Maybe we can figure them out together. Right. I think that that's something that's new, you're like, well, you know, I think we have a lot of the same issues. Maybe we can figure them out together. Right. I think that something that's new that we're teaching men is that they can, it's like that Lewis House,

Baskin Baskin Unity, when Lewis House, it's a good podcast if you guys want to go listen to that show, is that I think that men are raised still thinking that they have to be strong, they can't show emotions, they can't be vulnerable, they can't show weaknesses, but I'm gonna tell you, as a woman who relates relates we relate we we like when men are real and vulnerable like like not like like anything that all the time if I was always like crying and a met like anything you want

It's in moderation, okay? I am God you're not I've been well I've been saying is is that is that I'm telling you here Michael that the more authentic and really we're like Ben saying like that's not it's not like women want to manage all buttoned up. And that's not who you are, Michael. You're a real guy with emotions and feelings, so you're gonna, the more open you are with the woman, you're gonna find someone who relates to it that way.

Yeah, keep in mind, at 20, no one knows how to fuck. Everyone's, everyone's still figuring it out. They don't know. Nobody knows you guys. I want all the, all the 20, somethings now. I would say even like 25 and under just to take a deep breath a deep sigh of relief that no one know you're nuts But you haven't been in the planet enough having sex enough to even know Enough about sex it takes time over yeah, and each new person is a new thing anyways the whole new world and and all the girls you're seeing in the porno

They could pay to thousand dollars to do that and they're not even really having orgasms. Yeah, they're faking them. Oh, yeah, like really badly or really well depends. Right. So I think men are just porn is not real. Men are not. They're like, oh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna come. Oh, I'm coming. You're like, oh, good. Yeah, woman's orgasm is like a like a fucking volcano erupting. You know? Yeah, like you usually will be able to tell.

Yeah, you can tell. Like, yeah, unless, I don't know, I think I can tell. I always think of the like, see. I can tell him, when Emily comes, she's like, like her ancestors are screaming through her. It's, I know, she, literally, she's like, like her ancestors are screaming through her. It's, I know, literally she's like, ah!

I don't like holy fuck, people are gonna think I stabbed her in the stomach. Sometimes, I still have to tell that woman. Oh yeah, that was hilarious. When the window was open at water lust, I still have to tell. Oh yeah, that was awesome. And the other people doing area yoga,

like had a very laugh. We didn't look out the window to see who were like, I forgot who the window's up in. But you're like the window. Too late now. Too late now. I was having sex at my house one time and I still live with my parents.

And my mom was like, yeah, the other night, I thought, I don't know, I just heard something in the room. I thought something happened. Like, you were in pain and I got out of my room and I really listened and I was like, oh she's not in pain. And I was like, yeah, and I was just like, full stop. And I was just like, oh, my bad, I will work on that. You're like, I am in pain now having this conversation.

She thought it was funny. She was just, yeah, I just went back into my room and just thought I would tell you this later. I was like, yeah, well, no, good, because I was like, I didn't know. Like, you know, in the moment when you're just being and letting go, like you're not actually even aware of like the volume that you may be admitting.

Right, exactly. You know? Yeah, no, because you want to let go. That's the thing. So you're just like, I'm like, You're not thinking about the people doing yoga beneath me. I'm like, I'm like, I forgot that my house

isn't soundproof even though it should be. And you remember when you try. Yeah, man, joking off with your home is, my dad doesn't knock. I was just home for a week. Oh, that's the worst. There's a couple of close calls. Do you want to lock in your door. No.

But it's shared underneath it. I don't think that I could. It's just weird. You didn't fear of your dad always talking. What if you just put a sock on your door knob, even though you're by yourself? Yeah. What the telegraph of the whole house that I'm I'm sparing.

Yeah, I like that. And what you rather than the long masturbating? The long masturbating. The long masturbating. Or like just like, I'm from those clocks, but they on the businesses have, be back in five. Have like a pillow up or something on a chair,

so that you're like perfectly behind it, just in case. I don't think your dad wants to walk in on you. Yeah, no one, like, or just be like, I'm talking to knock. Well, that I mean, that's the true, but he just said he just doesn't do it. That's to come for yourself. It's like a habit, knocking is a habit.

My family, my whole family knocks, I love it. How's they sure? Everyone should, everyone should knock. I know, but whole family knocks. I love it. Everyone should not. I know, but I know a lot of people's family's, like there's just like a no knocking thing. I'm like, but you don't know what you're gonna walk in on. You never know. You got a knock.

Uh, everyone keep knocking. And keep talking. Keep talking. This was great. I love you both. Unless you want to see your son's jerk off face. Like who wants that? Nobody. Nobody vinegar strokes

The what? Okay, you guys ever watch the show the league? That's what they call it like your your orgasm faces your vinegar strokes Why I think I don't know but it's hilarious and it's like this whole I don't know you have to watch the episode It's a whole thing. They're all trying to like I don't know. Okay. But anyway, you have to watch those stories. You have to watch those stories. Your orgasm phase is beautiful too. I think that women don't orgasm

because a lot of times they can't let go and they're afraid of the orgasm phase when they're afraid of being loud and they're afraid of being messy. Yeah, unless you have like guys do not, I'm not a guy, but I can just, they don't care what your face looks like when you're orgasming out.

As long as you orgasm, yeah, they're patting themselves on the back. And if he does carry his like, you're orgasming as long as you orgasmed. Yeah. They're patting themselves on the back. And if he does care, it's like you're too loud, you suck, or hate your orgasm, then oh my god, pick up with them. Bye. Okay, let's do that. Bye guys.

Thanks producer Jamie. Thanks Ben. You can find Ben the Morrison on social media. This was really fun. Thank you Sarah, volunteer Sarah there, working the sound, good job. Love my team. So thank you, can volunteer Sarah, producer Jamie and Michael. And thank you everybody, was it good for you?

Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. you