Sex With Emily - Adventurously Sexy with Scott Eastwood

Episode Date: July 21, 2018

On today’s show, Emily sits down with actor Scott Eastwood to talk about everything from who taught him about sex to turn offs to pheromones. Emily and Scott talk about his notorious adventurous lifestyle, what great sex really looks like, and why women are pickier than men on dating apps. Plus, they help listeners with performance anxiety and debate whether it’s men or women who are more judgey about sexual pasts. Oh, and he breaks the office clitoris (not Emily’s). Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Foria, JO, Magic Wand Follow Emily on Social: @sexwithemily Follow Scott on Social: @scotteastwood Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm joined by actor Scott Eastwood to talk about his adventurous lifestyle. What great sex is really like, and why we need to just stop judging everyone. All this and more, thanks for listening. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that mock our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them in a fight on day. Hey, Evelyn You got a boyfriend because my man E here. He just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute The girls got a hair stand. Oh my the women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common? No, what do you mean like laundry? It's drinks and we not talk about sex so much. Are you kidding me? Oh Being bad feels pretty good It's your laundry, it's your drink. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my God, I feel so drunk.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithendela.com. You can easily subscribe to the podcast. You can send it for mailing lists and check out all of our awesome blogs. They're going to help you have better sex

and relationships. Also follow us on social media. Interac with us on social media, I should say don't just follow us. Let's get into a social media relationship. It's at sex with Emily across the board, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. I love hearing from you. And I'm really excited for you guys to hear my interview with Scott Eastwood. He's an actor and a model. He's 32 years old and he's the youngest son to Clint Eastwood. But he also has a new podcast, which I was a guest on called Live Life Better with Scott Eastwood. Enjoy the show. I were live and I'm here with Scott Eastwood. He's my new friend. I'm on his podcast as well. He has a new podcast coming up, but let's we'll get to that in a minute.

Scott's an actor and all these things, but first I broke the clitoris. He broke the clitoris. I have a 3D clitoris here, not to be concerned because I do have another one. I usually much more gentle. I hope so. What does this say about you as a lover? Scott, I don't know. How many clitoruses have you left broken in your wake? Come on. You left broken, that sounds like that could be a good thing or bad thing. I know.

I don't think you ever want to break a clitoris unless it was consensual. Yeah. Breaking. My question is, did you realize, because I'm Bionna as I I didn't know that the clitoris until I started studying This for a living that this is like the bulb right, but this is all goes on This is like behind the labia like so here's my vulva puppet like we're talking This is just this but this part goes on behind a labia these little legs. Yeah, so this 8,000 nerve-riding we talk about it's all the way all in here It's all in there. Yeah, how little legs. Yeah. So this 8,000 nerve ratings, we talk about, it's all the way all in here. It's all in there.

Yeah. Yeah, how about that? This is the good stuff. That's the good spot, but this is the glitter and then all behind the labia, this is where the legs are. There's legs. Legs. Goes on for days.

Well, isn't, isn't, don't we all start out with a clitoris? We start out with this, yes, we do. And then you either grow. If it's all working, yeah. Or not. Exactly. You see how it goes down. But yes, we all have the female energy in us.

And a little, a clitoris, a clitoris is very much can be treated as a shaft. You can stroke the shaft of the clitoris. Yeah. There's a shaft. Where's the shaft? The shaft is like right in here. So here's like the shaft, actually. This is the tip of it. This is the shaft of the clitoris. Yeah. There's a shaft. Where's the shaft? The shaft is like right in here. So here's like the shaft actually.

This is the tip of it. This is the shaft right here. So what do you get swollen? Like when you turn like a woman on with her clitoris and you start to rub it, there's like a, you can actually get granulated with it. Not just the touching. I'm sure you know this already.

Being a, being a what? Being a sexy smart man. Not that smart. Probably. I think you are smart. I listened to your podcast. Being a what being a sexy smart man? Not that smart. Probably. I think you are smart. You are smart. I listened to your podcast and I was on your podcast and I thought you were great interviewing. Really good interviewer.

Like I was like, he was like a two hour, I felt like I was there for a long time. It was not bored and very good questions. Oh, thanks. I had fun too. Yeah, it was fun. But live life better is your podcast. Live life better. And you are, what are you doing now? you doing now tell me let's go is Scottie's because all I know is I'll tell you this I Google do right and it's like every article is like Scotty's would living an adventurous life when he's not living

Adventure's life Scotty's He's taking a break from his adventures life to have a real adventure It's kind of wait, I mean, it's true. I don't know why people seem to write about that. I just do it because I just like, you know, being out so outdoors mostly. I know I'm a really strong believer in, we are so tunnel visions in the society we live in that it's really easy for us to be like me, me, me, me. What are we doing?

What's next? You know what we're doing? And not live, not live. You know, the way we were designed to live, you know, in tribes, in small tribes, to live outdoors, to have good circadian rhythms where we sleep when it gets dark, and we wake up when it gets light. And that I always feel when I'm out in nature,

and when I'm out doing things, or putting myself through any sort of adversity, right? Like, I feel better. I feel clear-headed. I'm not with my phone. I'm not with the bullshit. And I come back and I'm like reset. Right.

So I don't know. No, I get it. It's so true. We are so taken away from everything that was once, you know, living just, I think, yeah, the cell phone technology. And you're right, being in nature. It's so, I was just in nature. Where was I this weekend?

I don't even remember. I was a, I was a Vermont. Thank you. It was a very natureous place. I was there for teaching at a yoga festival. You were teaching yoga festivals? I wasn't teaching yoga though. I was teaching sex.

Why are less? Sex and yoga. Sex and yoga. I have heard of, I've actually been to Wonderlust in Lutin' like Tahoe. Oh yeah, okay. I was there too last year. Yeah, it was great.

Oh, it's so fun. It's like, my friends, it should just be called 10,000 hot chicks in yoga pants, because literally that's what's happening. Not a bad place. Right. It was a very, very great place. Right, right, I'm sure, right, did you,

did you have sex there? I did. I was just like, I met some guy, I was supposed to leave my flight, I had a really hot time there. Really? Yes. After I spoke, I was like, you're hot. I met him at the top of the mountain. The chair

of the party was closing anywhere. It was magical. I feel like I delayed and he was hot. I don't know. I feel like Sandra Bullock was in that. Something like that. Running to rain or there's something. I have an adventure life too? I'm just saying, they might not write about all the time, but it was a fun time. And so I was there and I was like, oh, I've never in nature, like very rarely, I live in West Hollywood, I live in West Hollywood kind of ish, and it's like just being there and hiking,

and you're outside for like 10 or 15 minutes, and I grew up in San Francisco, I was there mostly. It's like, I miss it, we don't get that here. So you're right, you're in nature, you're challenging yourself, you're doing things, and also you're. It's like, I miss it. We don't get that here. So you're right. You're in nature, you're challenging yourself. You're doing things. And also, you're really doing things like the podcast. Like it's to interviewing like interesting people.

Some guy went on date with Adam. Glaze, glazey. You want to date with him? I did. So I saw it. Yeah, I did, like 10 years ago. No way. How did the day go?

Well, apparently I just went out with him once. So I don't think there was like a love connection, but he's genius. He's doing it really well. Yeah. So cool stuff. He's done. Yeah, really cool. I mean, every time he listens and I listened to it, I was like, and it was really well done. So I'm just saying that your podcast was the one I was on was particularly well done, which I haven't heard yet. Of course. But I thought it was just really interesting what he's talking about, how they're looking for alternative methods to everyone just being on goddamn meds. Meds. and you think virtual reality, I know.

It's so bad. And you know, since this is a sex podcast, that's really, yeah, baby. What is, what are prescription drugs doing to people's sex lives, right? One in four women is on SSRI right now for antidepressants and antidepressants. So they're on a,

SSRI, the serotonin reuptake inhibitor. What is it? The actual thing it stands for, SS serotonin something, SSRI. It's antidepressant. So that's a Xoloph Prozac, Selexa, there's like a bunch of them. And one for women get pregnant.

It's probably women are misdiagnosed or maybe they have a little bit of depression and anxiety or it's because they have like PMS who doesn't happen to us and we're just over medicated and it absolutely has direct impact. Like guess what, you won't be depressed so we really have a butt, you won't want to have a sex drive. Kills it.

And also blood pressure and medications can affect men's ability to yeah, for erections. So yes, there's a lot happening right now with... And then you gotta take another pill to fix that. So you can't exactly, can't get up, you're gonna keep it up, I feel down, now I'm up, my penis is down, it's a whole thing. You know what I'm saying?

It's just not. It's a whole thing. I know. So I feel like you're in this transition right now. I don't even know you that well. But I feel like, you know, you've had a successful career acting, modeling. You're like, there's a lot written about your looks, your attractive man I don't want to.

No, I don't want to like be that, but it's just pointed out, but you're like, I don't know, you're moving here, there, you're doing things, you're, I don't know. You're doing a pocket, you're doing thing you care, you have a heart, big heart. Yeah, I just do, I'm just searching. I'm just doing, yeah, I'm a searcher.

I'm a searcher, you know, and I want to evolve and be the best version of myself every day. So doing something, like the podcast really was just, you know, hey, I want to meet more interesting people. I want to expose myself to more interesting things and learn from people and I said, well, what better way to do it? Because what happened was I went on Joe Rogan's podcast.

Oh. And I got it because I listened to, I listened a lot of podcasts. Okay. And I said, wow, this is so cool. I said, I want to be exposed to all the guests he's exposed to. Yeah. You know, because it's like, it's like a continued education.

Totally. You know, and I went to college, the college degree, and I was like, but I haven't really been back to school in 15 years. Right. And I went to college. I go to college degree and I was like, but I haven't really been back to school in 15 years. And I was like, wow, I don't really want to go to a certain classroom. No. So this is my classroom, right?

I get it and invite cool new people. That's cool. We should talk about this. I got to interview you. Yeah. Do you prep for it or do you just come? I do. I do prep for it.

I try to read. We're actually do you just kind of do I do prep for it. I try to you know, I try to read We're actually bringing on the author of the female brain. Oh the way I'm visiting. She's great I've actually wanted her on my show for a while and I I just forgot about it like it was years ago Yeah, we're I think I I Want to see yeah this week I She doesn't have to just go James. I for sure. I love her book. Have you read her book? Yeah, so good. It's like oh, I get it like girls when they're like in three three weeks old They're so different than little little boys and little girls and how we make social contact eye contact It's amazing. It is I love that you have her on you've really and you had on like Adam my ex boyfriend

Just kidding. I went out the water and um and you're making it was a good. No, I don't ever we made out we met at a party I feel like it was a burning man type thing. It's never in Cisco, because I used to live up there for a long time. And then anyway, I don't remember watch, but he's happy he's doing great things. But yeah, Tim and I know Tim Ferriss, you were saying you read,

well, is it the Titans? Yeah, a tool to Titans. To Titans, yeah. Yeah, I'd like to actually bring him on. You should. Because he's been exposed to a lot of people in what a cool book. And I think, you know, it's just for people who

Who just want to learn things for? Sure, you know, whatever whatever capacity you want to learn something new what have you learned from the podcast? It was most interesting that stuck out to you That's a good question. What have I learned? I've learned you know, I learned I've learned and I'm learning and I'm continuing to learn is how to have a conversation with someone and really listen. Right. That's what I'm learning. It's not easy.

Especially when you're podcasting, get your like, what am I gonna say next? This is interesting. Sure. I actually caught people off sometimes, so I already politicized and advanced what I do, but I still have to 13 years. I thought I didn't anymore,

like I thought I worked that through. And then Jamie said, well, it was really good. We did some podcast, Jamie producer. He's like, it was good. You only cut him off twice. I'm like, I thought I stopped cutting people off. I don't really listen to the show after. But anyway, it is a thing.

But this is like one of my favorite actually Marty Fiddling's with you that we're just having conversation. I'm not like, I'm just forcing it. Yeah. And you know, look, everyone's going to be different. But I remember my father used to always say that he's used to say are you listening? Are you just waiting for your turn to talk and? I think we really notice it here in LA, right? So many people have an agenda to push or

Want to tell you how great they are tell you what they're doing in their life or it can be very narcissistic, right? Yes. But having a real conversation, like an authentic conversation and really listening, thinking of, you know, that person being empathetic to whatever they're talking about, asking more questions and maybe, you know, explaining, you know, what you want to talk about. And doing the whole, oh yeah, me too, that happened to me. Yeah. It's a practice. It's a skill. I love your dad. So your dad, Clint Eastwood, don't know. Yeah. Famous, famous actor. One of the most famous actors of our time.

Yeah. What's that? Like, you must, that's been a whole thing probably. Having him as a dad, I know you could ask this a lot, but I just can't help it because, hey, so being like, you know, you're your own person. I know I did do my research. I read about you that you would go on and ever use and you didn't want to use these wouldn't name like you want to obviously I could see that being a thing Like I don't want everyone to know I'm doing it on my own and so yeah, that was years ago Um, it was You know, I was young. It was in my early 20s and you know, I was just trying to figure out who I was as a man, you know, figuring it out and trying to navigate Hollywood.

You know, people, I think people have an assumption that just because you, you are someone's kid or something that you suddenly like have all the keys to the kingdom, you're still an adolescent person. You are right. No, I think it'd be hard. Pay rent, how to go to school, how to go to get a job, all the normal things that people have to figure out. Exactly.

And you always feel like it's probably worse because you're probably like, people are assuming that I should have all these things in bed soon. But I'm still like 20 years old, I'm trying to do my laundry out of the house and whatever it is that you figure out. So what about did your dad take, you guys are still tight? Obviously, your dad. Yeah, he's

88. He just turned to 88. Wow. That's amazing. I know 88 88. 88 years ago someone had sex and had. Yeah, that's crazy. They were still having sex. They were having sex. Eight years ago. That's good. Did your dad teach you anything about sex? Did you, how did you learn about sex? Do you remember you, a lot of kids, your family, big family was at school. When did you first you anything about sex? Did you how did you learn about sex? Do you remember you a lot of kids your family big family was at school? When did you first remember learning about sex? Older woman really and she likes to do so like Miss Robbins and thing hmm I'm gonna have to be careful with my words here. Yeah Or you could...

She was great. She was older woman. And she was very kind and gentle. Nice. Unlike you and the clitoris here. She did not need to break the clitoris. It was a broken clitoris. We said you have to.

But do you remember, I don't know, I didn't have great sex education. You were saying that was the first someone you were with perhaps. Yeah. It's good to have an older lover, I think. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, great.

I mean, you don't know when you're a kid, you don't know anything, right? No, when you're not a kid, you don't know anything. You don't know anything. I don't know. I know. I know. Do you have any sex questions for me?

You were so good when I was on your show asking so many questions, but I feel like, this is gonna be a particular, no, but do you have any questions? I don't know. We were talking earlier before about you were saying no one uses condoms anymore. Well, yes, well now that's something we should add up.

I don't understand why you people are not using condoms because I think that people assume they don't have to worry anymore because they got that people assume they don't have to worry anymore because they got the vaccine or they don't have to worry about. What's the vaccine? They got the... They're about vaccine? Well, they got the...

Oh my God, what? They started... I feel like I'm hung on to, but I'm not. The HPV pack, the HPV vaccine that you're supposed to get before you're 28 years old. Really? A lot of kids get it and they don't. You probably got it. I'm both a hope, so. Yeah. So anyway, they don't, you probably got it. I vote a hope so.

Yeah, so anyway, you're not, why don't you use condoms? You tell me. No, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, I'll say that. No, I think that people are worried. People are worried. I know. Didn't she your older lover too? No, I just think that it's some, I think that there's not

this immediate like, oh, we're going to, AIDS, we're going to get STDs that it's just kind of like, maybe she's down the pill, we don't have to worry about it. And I think it's still awkward. And there's still this notion that sex isn't as good. But they're not, they don't have to be. If you use the right one.

Wow. Because the TDs are real, you can't tell anything at the time. It's a real thing. The TDs are real. Is it more awkward to be like, I have herpes or this kind of awkward in the moment? And I think that people don't know, like I love skin condoms,

I'm gonna give you a parting gift in case you decide to use condoms one day. I'm sure you do. But they're non-latex, they're polyisoprain-meaning-let, they're non-latex. So latex can be uncomfortable, it can be too tight, and I think a lot of men wear condoms that are ill-fitting, and every condom fits differently.

Why do you think they're tied up? Maybe, they're like, I'll take the King condoms that are ill-fitting, and every condom fits differently. Why do you think they're tied up? Maybe, they're like, I'll take the King condoms or I'll take the extra, extra, extra large. Yeah, they're sizing up or they're sizing down, so they don't know it, not on purpose, no man's gonna be like, I'll take the small one just to be safe. Blood circulation. Exactly.

And then they're like, oh, it's really uncomfortable. I can't feel anything, well, maybe because you're cutting off your circulation. So I just think that that's what's happening now. Well, what's going on? I think we might have touched on it before. What's going on with the advancements in the male birth control sector? I wish that it was advancing faster, but there was something that came out recently that said that they're testing it again. I can initially when it came out, men are like, oh, God, I'm like, it cramps and have headaches. I'm not gonna do that. Let's have the women take it.

And so now, I think the same thing came out again and they're like, oh, okay, same thing. It's still out there for debate, but men could actually, I think now it's actually, there's a resurgence in it that could actually happen that there was a pill that men take. And all it would mean is like, your sperm that you're going to be able to jack late,

but your sperm count would be like lower and you would be able to get some impregnant. You guys are losing so many loads a day, it doesn't even matter, but for women, we're taking the pill and messing up our reproductive systems and stuff like that. So yeah, would you take a pill? Yeah, I mean, I think I would. Yeah, I mean, it's hard, I guess, to answer that because I've never felt, you know, I feel for you women, right?

I have five sisters, so I have seen the emotional mood swings. I've seen what it does. You know, I'm seeing, you know, it's real. It's like, okay. But it's also, you know, it's like, okay. What, but we're okay. Well, if you're gonna have a lover, right?

And you're gonna be in a relationship with someone, and you're not going to be taking that precaution, then you're going to probably, you know what they say, they call people who use the poll pull out of them. What do they call it? Parents. It's true. If you time it though, you can time it, no, it's not good. It's best to use Converse, but they do call him parents. If you time it though and you can time it, no, it's not good. It's best to use condoms, but they do compare it. Are you dating now? What's it like dating here in LA?

I don't date here in LA. I don't live in LA. I live in Texas, actually. That just happened though five minutes ago. I've been there for longer than... Okay. But you've been here. What's it just like dating? What are you looking for? What are you looking for what are looking for? You know, I think look timing has to do with a lot of it. I have I've been so focused on work and You know make it movies and the work I'm in like you travel all over the world. It's hard to have something consistent And I think also, you know, I don't even know if I'm ready to be in good for you for knowing that. You know, I think most, I think a lot of people aren't. You're with 32 32.

I mean, yeah, you don't have to be right. No one has to be ready. Here's the thing. So you can, you know, like there, there's two sides to being single or to be being relationship, right? You know, you, you are like it can be lonely at times right everyone can get lonely yeah for sure but it also can be very freeing because you do whatever the hell you want yeah with who I love it yeah and I think a lot of

men sometimes or men and women they get maybe lonely but they may not they haven't be ready yet to settle down. Right. So then they're, you know, they're the caught in this like weird timing. Timings like, I think timing is huge. You know, it is huge. I love that you know that you're not ready yet too,

because I get that. Like there's a certain like, it's hard to do it all. So if you're working in your career and you're, you're doing a lot of different things, you're your friends, you're lifestyle or your friends or lifestyle or moving. It's okay to date, and just the most important thing is to be honest with people who are dating and say, right now, I'm not looking for anything.

I think that people are more open to that now. It seems like that. You can just date and then we're together. We date, two dates, it must be in that we're committed, but I just think a lot of times we don't see it. There's other options. How to casually date. Yeah, it seems the world has changed, right?

The popular opinion about dating is totally fine. Whereas, you know, maybe 50 years ago, then like, what do you mean, why aren't you married? Why aren't you, you know? And I'm sure there's still places like that. Right, what does your dad want for you? Well, he's just dating right now. I don't know.

He's not, he's not. He's not So right you know maybe I don't know I'll be 88 still dating. I don't know what's your biggest turn off like if you're out with someone Or you don't do the apps right have you done the apps? No, I've never I've never been on the dating app Okay, what would be something if you're on a date with someone like gosh, she was so hot I saw her then you went out like what could be something that you'd be like oh no, I'm out entitled Brattie she was so hot, I saw her, then you went out, like, what could be something that you'd be like, oh, no, I'm out. Entitled, braddy,

not considerate, not grateful, that, like, for me, immediately ruins it all. Right. No matter how beautiful or how sexy or, you know, any of the aesthetics or the pheromones that are happening if I notice a Lack in character. I am done. I'm like nope. What would that look like right? Give me example

Well, I did bail one time. I did this is a good story. Okay. I did bail one time I went on the worst date I've ever been on. This was years ago. And I remember halfway through. I think it was actually here in Santa Monica. Okay. I remember going to, I think it was like El Cholo or something. I was a Mexican restaurant. At the time, she was so entitled, so... What do you mean entitled? Like, she was like, I just, beautiful, I swear, I never had anything. Yeah, just telling me how great she was

and about halfway through the meal, I realized that this was not a person that I wanted in my life, she was toxic. And I just said, I gotta use the restroom. And I just never been back. You just left. Wow. Yeah, because you were done. That's, yeah.

No, I've been out of a date and record time like in 14 minutes or less. But you just, how does that go though? If you don't, do you just say, hey, listen. Yeah, I was like, you know what? Yeah, this isn't happening. I'm so in pain. I was like, I just feel this.

This isn't gonna be a thing. Let's leave. Let's not waste anyone's time. And something else was going on in my life where I was like, I can't even fake this right now. I never see this person again. And I am out. So when I left, you know, obviously she figured out I left, right? Yeah, right. And you know, she then she proceeded to psychodial me.

So she had, I think we, I don't remember if we'd taken two cars or whatever, but she had met me at a buddy's house before we had gone to this restaurant. And so she'd gone back to my friend's house when she started pounding on the door. And I wasn't there. Right, you did the right thing. My friend had a deal with her. The second pounded, right?

Yeah, I mean, psycho, she was obviously unhinged, said Leis. Yeah, okay. So what about for you and sex? Cause let's just move into sex, I'm curious. Like for you, what makes really good sex? Fair amounts. Like having the chemistry. Yeah, I think that sense.

And I think that goes without saying like everything from the meeting of somebody, not just a psych,, it all starts with pheromones. And I think they're really important. I think they're happening subconsciously. When you look at someone and you get that captivated feeling, I think that the smells are happening. They say smell is a little...

Scent is a bit yes, all the senses. Yeah. Um, And you know, I think that there's something like that is that's a really primal. And that turns into good sex. That turns into good relate, you know, good relationship or a good or a very, you know, five could be maybe five or maybe not good relationship. Good night. A really good night. So do you mean like in the second you meet someone and you like the set, you're talking about the chemistry or the scent like you actually like have? Yeah, I don't think that's what I'm saying. Like sometimes I think it happens subconsciously.

You don't even really smell them. Right. Yeah, but like you're just sort of drawn to them and you're like, well, why am I drawn to that person? But I think it's pheromones. That's my theory anyways. Okay, yeah, that's a good theory. I think it's more like yeah, like my theory anyways. That's a good theory. I think it's more like, yeah, like chemistry.

That makes good sex. Okay. Let me ask you this. I want to see what you think about this. Talk to me. Scott. Eastwood. There was a study that came out that women are pickier than men on dating apps from age 18 to

30, but men are pickier after age 40. Online dating has saturated us with choice, enabling us to actually seek out those who correspond even with our most niche desires. Women are picky and they're peak fertility years, 18 to 30 and men are not as picky in women. So what do you think about this? Well, I think it's interesting why

it's so successful right now, because that was a spin off, right? Right. And I got to know actually the woman who started it, Whitney, and she's really nice gal. Yeah. And it's interesting, right, that, you know, women want to have the control of,

no, I don't want a bunch of people, you know, if I want to respond to you then then great we can have a conversation um And so maybe I don't know me yeah, maybe then there's like then there's a space for a dating app for men Because you're saying men get pickier in their way. Yeah, they'll wait. Yeah, maybe there is I don't think they're I think that the bumble thing is more about men I don't know why maybe there's like I've had my kids and I don't really I don't know why. Maybe there's like, I've had my kids and I don't really, I don't know why I'm divorced. But I think that most the apps, the men, or the ones are usually making the first move. So, Bumble was pretty smart because women were able to make the first move on

it. But I didn't like it. I just tried it for work. Did you not like it because you didn't like to be the one making the first move? No, I just don't like the apps at all because they work everyone. You should try and really, what do you mean the apps at all because they work everyone, you should try them, you're really one of me to one, you should do an app, you should talk to everyone, you know, about dating. And that's for me, I'm just like, I get a million messages in the follow-through to get another texts and another thing to do.

That's a draw, it's a draw, it's a draw, it's a pull, no. I really like to meet someone in person, like everyone updated I've met, I around. I'm the old school way as well. I've got to, you've got to have that connection. There's so many subtleties in conversation. Right. And then you don't know how much text, I have friends who go on like 10 dates a week,

super handsome guy, actually next boyfriend of mine, we're very good friends now. And he's like, he takes notes after every day. He's like super break notes. He goes, he takes these things. I just made it to you. I know. But where's their sex sense?

That's amazing. This happened. I know. He's like, like to her, her mom does? But where's their sex sense? That's amazing. This happened. I know. He's like, like, to her. Her mom does her mom teaches yoga. Oh, that's like a journal. That's like a journal.

I thought we were talking about like, no, sex sense. But then there was one. He was like, that was fun. Dinner was very anti-gamy blowjob. I'm like, that's it. But shouldn't you have led with a blowjob? Like, a journal? Not like a good journal.

But he's like, tracking it. He's like, it's like his day. Well, that's good. Imagine in 20 years. So be like, oh, yeah. On September 4th, I got a blowjob. But exactly. It's nice.

It's been 30 years. But the thing is, he's so tracking it. But like, no, I know how many blowjobs come and go. Yeah, I'm hoping they keep coming. I hope that they don't. People were even giving blowjobs like 50 years ago though. You don't think so? No, with like, it had to be a whole thing

when the Kinsey started doing 50 years ago. When Alfred Kinsey started the whole Kinsey Institute in Indiana, that's really when couples like, oh, like oral sex and it became a thing. Really, that sounds smart. Yeah, thank God. Pave the way. People were doing it, but it wasn't as much of like a popular culture. Yeah, it was kind of judged. It was like, if you gave a blowjob, you were more, I don't know what, like you should just, it's comes down a lot of it to our culture, our religion, that just supposed to have sex with procreation. Whatever people believe then, but they're like, oh, we're all sex.

What a good time that is. Thank God we discovered it. What, speaking of our culture, and you know, you sprung that into my mind, why is it seen like there is such mean culture when it comes to women and sex. And men are totally exempt, right? Look here, if you're a man and you sleep

with multiple women, you're a cool guy, you're stud, right? If you're a woman and I feel like the women do it more to women than men do it to women. Right. They label and they call names and they shame them. Yeah. Like, what? Why are you doing that?

It's like terrible for your cold. Like, right. It is terrible. I think that women do do a lot of the shaming. But what I'm hearing from, so do you feel like you're hearing other women talk about women to you? Well, I know I see it happen with young women and I, you know, I hear them make a comment. And I was like, what are you doing that? Like, why are you judging that person? I know I see it happen with young women and I hear them make a comment and I was like, what are you doing that? Why are you judging that person? I know.

Because what they want to have sex with that dude. So what they want to... Exactly. Why would you do that? And you're making a weird cycle for you guys more than it's like a shameful thing. It's very unhealthy and I think that I'm just like I'm so am against I really don't speak negatively about anybody. I'm not like a critical I'm not part of that whole mentality at least right now around here We're not but I know that women are can be the worst enemies to other women Yeah, they're gossiping and there we could actually go into this email

We had an email. I was you're gonna actually help me give advice to listeners But what I want to say is that I do think there is a certain amount of women judging other women, but the thing is, and it's evil, and I don't know why, and I think it's because obviously the reason why we judge anybody is because we don't, we kind of want to, don't want to look at ourselves, and it makes us feel better, maybe to kind of trash someone else. But there is a certain notion though that men are like, and I've actually never heard a guy say this to me when I've asked on the show or in life that they're gonna judge a woman

while she's had too many partners. I know. I'm not gonna sleep with her. I know. If anything, she is more experienced, not that you should judge at anything, but I think that that's this whole catch 22 and I think. I've always been to that school thought

that why would it matter what number is what? You know, that's a silly. It is silly. Do you hear women doing this about other women? Not just about sex, but about a lot of different things? Look a question. I mean, I think people inherently are, they call it the human stand, where people point and they go, look at that.

Look at that person. There's so much shittier than I am. You know, it makes them feel more validated or better. I don't know what that is or what defect we have that we have to do that. Well, I think it's, again, it's because we wanted to deflect all, we wanted to deflect our own insecurities. And it's like, why we love reality TV

and why we like tabloid journalism because we don't have to look at ourselves. We can all just talk about whoever, the Kardashians, and get obsessed with their crazy life. Or we think, either they're aspirational, or we just, they make us, you know, we want that, or we just think, oh my God, at least I'm not that kind of a train wreck.

I think these days, we just, always, we've just be there for each other, because I'm love. Yeah, it's weird, like we, we, we,. It's so weird. We were talking about this earlier today, and it's so weird when you think about it. And I don't know if it's because we don't live in small tribes and because we're in such a big world, we feel separated by cultures and boundaries. But we have this really weird way of being really, like really mean to other humans. I know. And for me, it's like every day I wake up and I go,

okay, well, everybody else has got to wake up, put on their shoes, go to work, feed their families. Like they all have to go, we all have to go through the same shit, right? I mean, some people more than others, right? Some people have it tougher than this matrix and that's a lot of way easier. And no matter what level you're at,

and it's mind blowing to me that no matter what, the we just are still like so cruel to people. No, I know. I know. And you hear it every day. Just all the things that we're seeing and on the news every day. I don't understand it.

I don't understand how do we universally teach self love and that everyone's fighting a battle. I love it. It's kind of what you're saying that quote, everyone's fighting a battle of their own. Like you don't know what people are going through in the moments or just be kind because everyone's fighting their own battle. And it's true. No one's life is perfect.

People could look at someone who lives and we do that to others and we're like, oh, they have so much. I don't have anything. It's the way we interpret, it's a moment to moment giving yourself a check on your own thoughts, being grateful, meditating, whatever you do in resetting and just get the more you give the more you get. When I find I'm going through these periods of being kind of sad or being negative about things, usually it's just internal and my own stuff. But the second I can live myself out of that, however I do, it could just be a thought pattern or breathing and I do a lot of breath work and meditation. It just helps bring me back to my body and then nothing matters but that present moment.

Then you realize that there's so much more space and you want to give and you want to connect and you want to be there for other people, but when you're so caught up in this loop in your head of your lack while you don't have things, you open up and you want to connect and you want to be there for other people. But when you're so caught up in this loop in your head of your lack while you don't have things, you open up and you connect to others, you're like, we're on the same place and some of such hippie stuff, but it's so true. Think about all the time when you add up all the time that you, if you spend about these like weird psychotic loops, we get in. Think about all the time you could do something creative with that time, right?

Right. And I find like you said, like whatever the reset is, right? Like working out, stressing the body, creating adversity for yourself, right? So you can come clear headed and go, okay, cool. Like, what was that thing? That's usually the adversity, like working out or disrupting the pattern. Any adversity, I think adversity is when we get comfortable, when we get, you know, in our comfort zone, it's not good. It's true. It find what works for you because it's not all sitting in office every day night

Like you got to get up, you got to walk around, you got to move. Yep, and I think it's so true What you said now about how we're not meant to be separated from, you know, our community I don't know my neighbors, you know that whole thing of like we are we don't have our families around and we isolate I think we're now we're, you know, we're lonely of like we are, we don't have our families around and we isolate. I think we're now, we're lonely. Like we're a lonely culture and we get in our heads. And even the human brain, like learning how to regulate thoughts and emotions, that's a fairly new practice in the sense of like, before we couldn't even have thoughts, humans, you know, our ancestors, let's say. So it's like, we really don't know how to regulate. And what I, what I try try to do is I've known this for a long time. This whole thing about like your thoughts are not real. Most times their stories,

you're telling yourself and to breathe and get out of the moment. And most of the time we're wrong by the way. Like most of the things that you're obsessing about about someone else or what someone thinks of you, people are so consumed with their own stuff that they're probably not even upset about it. But I was driving some back from somewhere and I was like it went really well and then I got tripped on something that I'd said and I started looping on it and I was like, okay, it's been 20 minutes or 10 minutes and what I'm doing now and it's working so I'm going to tell everybody so you can kind of like practice this is that I try to focus on all the senses.

So when I'm driving, I'm like, okay, touch. My hands are on the stealing wheel and I feel like my ass on the seat of the car got that. Okay, sound. I'm listening to music or I'm listening. And if I'm listening I asked on the seat of the car got that okay sound I'm listening to music or I'm listening and if I'm listening to thoughts on my head and they're louder than the music Then I breathe really deep. I'm like okay now. I'm hearing my breath. What am I tasting? Okay? I'm tasting like this coffee that I'm drinking Sent like I'm smelling the you know, whatever I'm driving past this you know in an out burger on that way And and with a second you are like do the loop or you do a check this, you know, the In-N-Out Burger on that way. And with a second, you are like, do the loop or you do a check of the,

you know, site sense taste smell, all the senses touch. There's nothing else that exists in that moment, but the present. Like all I am is I'm present, I'm driving, I'm listening, I'm sending, and then the thought's gone. And I breathe into it and it like, doesn't come back. And then you realize that that all this stuff about the present moment,

I'm really going to be present, you're like, like, you're like, I got this off of it. What about yesterday? What about tomorrow? That's really all we have. And that's helping me reset lately. Life is really short.

And sex is good to do that too, if people's mind wandered during sex, do the senses. If you're mind wanders during sex, what if it wanders to a sexy place, like a cool different place? That's awesome. That's awesome, but some people, some people what? They're mind wanders to a sexy place, like a cool different place? That's awesome. That's awesome, but some people, some people why?

They're mind wanders to like, does he notice I gave five pounds? Is she think my penis is small? You probably don't have these thoughts. Some do. Anyway, what were you saying life's too short? Yeah, so we gotta just be, to let you have that. Life can switch on a dime.

I mean, my friend found out his mom had cancer today. And it's like so quick that life can smack you upside the head and it can all of a sudden get so real so quick. And yeah, I mean, I like that idea that checking back in with your senses, checking back in, remembering the thoughts thoughts you have or just sometimes crazy, a malgamation of crap that's going on in your life, that doesn't really exist, it's not really real.

It's not real, all that is real at this moment, and I'm sitting across from Scottie so to having conversation and nothing else matters. That's why I love podcasting too, because I feel like it's the most, I don't know, I can't be focused in real, it's a real connection like nothing else matters. That's why I love podcasting too because I feel like it's the most I don't know, I can be focused in real and it's a real connection like nothing else is like matters that we can have a conversation and you're sitting here and I love that.

Do you want to help me answer some emails? Let's do it. Okay, okay, we're take a quick break. We come back, we're gonna get into your emails. Thank you for supporting our sponsors and I love you all. What's up? What's up? What's up?

What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? I love you all. I love you all. I love you all. I love you all. I love you all. Breath is so fucking important. So important. I took a breath class. I took a breath class. It was really great actually. I was shooting this movie in Toronto. And they had a professional free diver

who gives these breath seminars all over the world. He came and I did this water scene and we breathed three or four different sessions, I want to say. And within the second session, I was holding my breath static for four plus minutes, four or twenty or something. Wow. And I like, was it the Wim Hof? It wasn't the Wim Hof it wasn't the Wim Hof but What was the most interesting I found outside of learning how you can you can change the chemistry of your body and you really sort of understand?

How to do that better the most interesting thing that I found from it is how you can reg get regulate anxiety. Yes. And especially in living in a big city, right? Where are we right now? We're in the middle of Los Angeles and it's like just relentless. Rararar I was sort of running late, was waiting in line, and I just found myself having a little anxiety, look at the clock, it was a lot of the line, and I just said, go back to really slow, control, deep breathing, you know, like 10 second breaths,

not like, it's an inhale. 10 second inhale, yes, it's everything, we are so, right. Yeah, starting from the bottom, all the way up in the middle chest into the upper chest. And it just, you know, I had to do that a couple times and all of a sudden I didn't care that I was in my own care, that was a little late. Life goes on. Yeah, you were fine.

If you were reading like here, I know. I, that's the same thing with the breath and the, um, the senses. This is what I do during the, uh, the, uh, the wanderlust, the retreat. I didn't say to help with anxiety because I get anxious. I think I'll do a little bit. Yeah, breath has been amazing. And you could do whatever kind, like I did this one. What was two in through your mouth and two out through your, um, mouth.

And it just, whatever it is, the longer inhale is because here's why. Here's why breath is so important when it comes to sex as well. A lot of us hold our breath during sex, especially women. Yeah. And men can win, we can anxious. Yeah. The first thing we do, and for women, the first thing we do is we'll clench our pelvic floor,

we'll like our vaginas, our vulvas, we hold it. And then women wonder why they're not turned, because a lot of women don't think about sex. They don't have orgasm, they're not turned on for sex. And so when you just have that practice, you realize the first two times you do it, how hard to do the 10 second in and out. Like that's like a practice,

when you do it, you're like, it changes your whole chemistry. I got it. That's interesting, but you say that. You don't need like Xanx. You do not need Xanx. No, not so many people. And we all suffer through some sort of anxiety.

Jamie doesn't. Jamie's like pre-exited one day. She was like, oh, which is why she's good for me because I'm anxious. Pretty sure, which she was like, I think I'm getting pre-anxious about something you said. I'm like, just pre-anxious and then we like to pre-anxious. Let's get into emails and thanks for all the breaths.

This is good. I'm fucking ready for the weekend and chilling here. You know what? It's got to be sweet. Yeah, for some breathing. We have everything and sex. Okay, guys, I love answering your questions, receiving your emails. It's awesome. If you want a question, you want me to answer on the show, you can text Ask Emily all one word to 7979 or go to sexwithemily.com, click ask Emily tab, include your name, your age, where you live and how you listen to the show. Okay, this is from Spencer 35 Colorado. I thought you'd be able to help me with these.

Because you're a smart, real, real man. Emily, the show is great and completely satisfies my never-ending curiosity about everything sex related. Thank you. I'm recently divorced, 1.5 years since the relationship ended and getting back to dating. It's been fun, but I don't really know what women want anymore.

I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm recently divorced 1.5 years since the relationship ended and getting back to dating. It's been fun but I don't really know what women want anymore, which is a blast trying to figure it out, especially with younger women. The last time I've had sex since a divorce, I'm really having a hard time climaxing. I can't tell if it's an emotional block. If the women aren't sexing the way I found attractive, or if there's too much porn slash masturbation going on. I masturbate once per day, typically, takes about three minutes of the hot porn video,

and boom, done, feel good, move on. But with women, I'm having a hard time. No pun intended. What's your advice? Okay, so Spencer, I think, so he's saying here, he's recently divorced, hard time getting dating. I think that after you're used to being with someone during divorce, it can definitely be challenging

to be intimate with other people. Like if it's a new thing, so just go easy on yourself. Yeah. It can be really, I find that it's, anytime you break up, your mind only goes back to the good things. Yes. So then you get caught up and then you start, you know, you're out and then, you have, your mind only goes back to the good things. Yes. So then you get caught up and then you start, you know, you're out and then, you know,

if you're not meeting quality people, then you're like, oh, there's nothing like this person, you know, and you're not remembering the problems that maybe the relationship had, you're just sort of focusing on them. Yeah, it's so true. I call that euphoric recall. Like, you put your ex on a pedestal. It's like, they are your ex for a reason. You broke up with this person because there was probably a lot of reasons why they weren't great, but we just, yeah, we only remember the good things and the great sex.

And that's because it's into, or if it was, if it was great sex. And that's because I think intimacy, when you get intimate with someone, you have that real connection, you just sort of, you can't, you can see how to check your hot guy at a bar, but you don't have, you're missing that thing, that intimacy. So I think that's what it is more so than someone else. So it can be challenging. And the porn, I don't know, what yours thoughts on porn?

Vote yes. We spoke about this on my podcast. I think, you know, you're right. I think it's kind of a double-edged sword. You know, porn's great. Porn is sexy and it's cool. But I think it can also be a little overused, maybe over-stimulate if you're,

maybe if this man would lay off the porn a little bit, then maybe he would be a little bit more turned on. That sounds good to say. You gotta moderate. It's just like everything. I'm never gonna tell you guys, don't watch porn or don't do anything as long as it's moderation. I think it's cool.

But if you feel like you're watching too much porn spends or try to do the old fashioned way or try to start with porn or maybe not, try to not start with porn. Try to get as far as you can and then turn the porn on or just like see how far you can go like using your imagination and thinking about things because once you remove that obstacle, I think that you'll find that you'll be able to reconnect. And again, a lot of this disconnection, and that we're talking about the reason why you're with someone, it's not happening,

is you might not be as connected to yourself either. So you're saying they're not sexing in a way you find attractive. You're probably just seeking, you're probably just looking for some kind of intimate connection with them. And I love the whole, like, looking in someone's eyes and breathing with them and just finding some kind of connection

to get you out of your head and wherever you're going. But also, if you just got out of relationship, just go easy on yourself too. I think people think they should be a certain place when they're not. And it can take a while to heal from an ex. Like, I just think, what do they say?

They say, like, half the time, right? Half the half the time. I think it's true. Yeah. Right. It can take, yeah. So give yourself a break here. Half the half the rest of the time. I think it's true. Yeah. Right. It can take you. So give yourself a break here.

Okay, I've got another email for you to answer with me. Okay. Oh, but the other thing I want to say here is going back to dating younger women. Scott, do you find that there's a certain way that women's, you're having, I'm assuming you're having sex with women, that it's changed in the recent years or there's a certain way that you, have you been with women, had the experience that it feels like they're not moving authentically to a way that feels good to them, but maybe it's something they saw and porn.

Yeah, sure. Well, yeah, or and or just something in pop culture, right? Right, exactly. I mean, it's amazing the influence I know. Things have on young women before they sort of understand who they are as a woman. And you see that, and you see that in the behavior.

Yeah. Men and women, you know? True. Men and women. No, it's true, it's men and I'm hearing it from both sides. Yeah. Um, but specifically porn. I don't know. I just maybe. I mean, I'm just curious if that can't, is it positive? No possible. It's possible.

Something to think about now. Positive too. Think about it. It could be. But I think what I've heard from guys like, why is it not? This is from women too that they're acting like they're saying like, oh, yeah, spank me or choke me or do certain things that don't seem congruent to what's happening in the moment and what they really want. They're kind of like reciting a script. Yeah. Like this is how you have sex because we don't have sex education in which we do not.

And all you're seeing is porn. That's the first thing you ever seen. You would think that that's how you have sex. Do you, what do you find, what's the difference in sex education here versus do you know what sex education is like in, like, say, Europe? Yes, that's a really good question. Well, the Netherlands is the only place that I can cite that is doing it right because in the Netherlands, they teach about safe sex and they teach about, like, you know, SEDs, but they also talk about pleasure and masturbation. And I think

that's what we're missing that we don't teach kids about pleasure, their bodies and masturbation. Like, I know that a lot of women, I didn't know to masturbate. Like, it didn't occur to me as a kid. So I think that the Netherlands is always being held up at the one place it's doing your right. So we should do that.

I only have some good sex out there. Yeah, exactly. Like a girl of an orgasm, a mom being like, how was it? You used to con him, did you have an orgasm? Like, congratulations. Could you imaginem and mom be like, how was it? Did you use the condom? Did you have an orgasm? Like, congratulations. Could you imagine parents, you're like, it's not that bad.

Congratulations, honey. We'll take your time screen. Way to. I know. No one wants to talk to their parents about sex either, so that's a whole other thing. Okay, we've got another email from Sarah, 25 in Florida. High new listener, but loved you on the Caitlin Bristow's

podcast. I decided to listen to casual sex as my first episode and wanted to address something and ask your thoughts on it as well. This is what we were talking about earlier, Scott. When your friends said that girls are more often, I had a friend in the show during that show, and she said, when your friends said that girls are more often than not the ones who bash each other for sex and that it's generally not men, I'm not sure I agree with that. I think, yes, girls are mostly the ones who bash each other publicly, but I think guys

aren't as comfortable with someone who's sleep around, but just don't announce it. So when I look at my guy friends dating, it's normally girls who've only had sex with the handful of guys. Maybe it's because I live in the south, which I think is true, but what are your thoughts on this? Do guys judge, but just not say it. So she's saying she hears that girls, you know, girls are bashing, but what are your thoughts on this? Do guys judge but just not say it? So she's saying she hears that girls are bashing but she doesn't agree but she thinks the men are like,

yeah, she's a whore or whatever guys are saying. So she wants to know about that. I think she's right. It's regional. I would imagine there's factors of that too. But I also think that, you know, fuck people who are bashing, you know, in place of value in that. Like, oh, I'm only gonna have a girlfriend who's had, you know, X amount of sexual partners, like, I mean, fuck them. I know, it comes from such a, I don't know, it comes from culture, religion, just from where you grew up that you think that people,

I just wish I could just kind of get this out of everyone's head that whatever you believe to be true about will make someone a great lover or a great partner because they've had sort of a great person, exactly. That is the most important thing. Because sex with 500 people, 10,000, who cares? It doesn't matter.

Do they have your back? Do they have a, yeah. They're like, I had her die with you. Right, right. You know, Tang out with some chick who's, you know, sex with the five guys and she's, you know, a terrible person and shallow and fuck that. I put my values in the one who's, you know,

you're the whole football team. Exactly, right. She's like really sweet to you and like, you know, whatever that means to you, takes care of you. Some guys do judge, I definitely have heard that, but there's nothing guys you want to be a Sarah. These are not the guys that you want to be with, nor are these the women that you want to be hanging out with if they are bashing each other.

There was a survey done by skin condoms, we love skin condoms, that did not find that women were more judgey on other women than men worse. So I just think it also will be hanging out with. I think there's mean girls, there's mean guys, and I really think the most important thing is to, is to not gossip and not talk about this stuff anyway. So what I've learned to do in, I'm doing this for years, but I literally, to make toxic, if someone I hear someone gossiping about someone or even just like, can you believe she did that? It's almost like it jolts me. Like I can't, my, I can't tolerate that kind of stuff. And I know she's young and the

south. So Sarah, just know keep holding on to what you feel is true true and you don't want to hang out with the guys that you even heard or saying this or the women who are being bitchy and lead the charger. Don't say bitchy things about your friends. Drop the dead weight, you know, clearly sleep. As I get older, that's the one thing I love doing. Just cleaning house of people that I don't need in my life. I don't need a thousand friends. No. I don't need in my life. I don't need a thousand friends. No.

I don't need all that shit anymore. I had a great group of friends and it's great to just... Sure. You got to keep the top of block. Look at the sheds. I don't think there should be any sheds when I had a birthday party this year. I was like, I don't want any sheds. It started this few years ago.

I was like, if I should. Yeah. I don't want to, to, I don't mind, those are should, just because I'm in fence forever. No, that's not a reason to actually have someone in your life. Or, oh, will they invite me to my part?

No. And the people who are weighing you down and they're toxic energy, cut, cut, cut. I agree. And then when the second you do that, once you let anything go in your life, you are making space for something new to come in. So if you're letting go of toxic people,

you're going to find the people that you that are more your aligned with who you are. Toxic. Toxic. I was just actually thinking about this toxic girl, my buddy Nate's. She's so toxic. Oh, just because, because, you know, we're talking about toxic people. I'm like, she is so toxic. Explain to me. Let's see. I mean, obsessed with social media, that's the where it all, like I would say, starts, doesn't, you know. It's really interesting because, I'll tell you a story.

She, she's, you know, one of those people who are just obsessed with finding out what's going on, his phone. Oh, she took his phone, old phone. Yeah, the old phone thing. And it's really interesting to see, like, I know I've been in toxic relationships before and my friends see it as clear as day.

And then when you're in it sometimes, you could just be cold, cold blinded by the light. And by those experiments. Yeah, man, the sex must be good, right? It must be really good. If you're sticking around for this bullshit. Right. Right. No, it's true, right? Did you have a, you can't, you can't, I know I was going with it. And you can't tell them though, you can't be like your girlfriend is just sucks, can you? Yeah, it sucks. That's a? Yeah it sucks that's a good one like I've been dealing with this recently and I'm like thinking yeah like can I say certain things that I've heard her say to other people can

I repeat that stuff back do you do that? No okay that's a really good question I don't think that it's good to be like the hearsay or everyone else says thing to your partner to your boyfriend to your male friend yeah But what I think is good to say, like, I don't know, guys talk about this. Your male friend, your buddy, your buddy. But what I think it is, and I hope that guys are getting better at this, because I know girls do it, women do it,

but just to be like, buddy, I care about you. I work with friends, and I just feel like when you're with her, you just seem like you're a little more on edge, or I'm just not sure she has your best interest in her. And I know that to bring in other collaborators and make it seem like, like, you're the one who's out there gathering information. And just to be like, I care about you, like, can guys say that shit to each other? Yeah. No, I mean, definitely we can.

And I, we've had to say things before for sure. Uh, but it is a weird situation. Like if he, you know, if a buddy is like totally head over heels for a chick, right? And then you kind of are getting in between that and then they resent you or then they then what do they got to do? If you tell your buddy that this chick said this or did that or, you know, you're gonna like triangulate the thing, right? Then he's gonna probably address it with her, right?

Right. And let's see. And then you're not invited Thanksgiving and they hate you. Yeah, it just comes to the console. What if it's like, what if you say this, it is sticky? You're right, because you don't know how mature they are and how they're gonna handle. What if it's just like you asked them probing questions, like, how's it going? How's it really going?

Yeah. Because I see sometimes you guys, I'm just curious, because I care about you. And it seems like you're not always, sometimes she says things to you, and I feel like I wouldn't be able to handle it, like eight just in that way. I don't know, I just think that there's ways

that we were sometimes too nice to our friends, and we don't want to get, you know, we don't want to block the boat, but when we have those friends that are close to sometimes there's a way to do it that feels good to everybody. Yeah. You should call your friend on the way home.

Um, I know. What was your toxic relationship like? What made it toxic? Um, I actually dated a mild, well not mild, I did like an alcoholic and I didn't really realize it was a very short lived relationship a few months but I was also working on a movie at the time when it happened, I was working on two different movies actually back to back. And so the relationship sort of got stretched out a lot longer than it would have normally if I had just been home and I'd seen the behavior patterns.

You can hide it for a while, right? So it's stretched out a little longer than it should have, but I chalked up a couple of bad nights. Big nights where she got wasted, drunk, and made a big scene, or acted completely inappropriate. To like, oh, well, that was like a crazy night. Maybe that was, you know, okay

And then you know, so worship is great, right? You know, it was great. It was very, you know, very charged and very strong So I think that kept me around Longer than I should have got it. Yeah, you notice after yeah, so it takes a while to notice those The drinking thing is the word. I mean, I have a hard time with that. Yeah, my mom used to always say, pay attention. Yeah. Right? And like, it's so true.

Now, you really pay attention, like, how do people treat the waiter and wait for you when they walk in the restaurant? Like, you can, like, you can, like a lot of stuff can go over your head if you're kind of under the, like, love spells sometimes. Yes. And you're like, wait, wait, wait, like,

pay the fuck attention. Like, see how they treat people, see how they are, wait, wait, wait, like, pay the fuck attention. Like see how they treat people, see how they are, see how they are with their friends, see who their friends are, because the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. It's so true. Yeah, there's all the information. I've always said the issues you have in the third day

you'll have forever. That's the thing my mom taught me. And she's really, it's true. And it's not that you'll necessarily see them, but to know that, I want everyone to stop and think about that now. Someone you've been dating for a few months or a few years. I'll bet you there's not that you'll necessarily see them, but to know that, I want everyone to stop and think about that now. Someone you've been dating for a few months or a few years, I'll bet you there's a challenge

you have right now, and you probably already knew it. You probably already came up on that third date, and so what are you gonna do about it? Because people don't change unless they want to. So that's my dating advice there. Any final closing words from you? Scottie's would. So fun, thanks for coming in.

Yeah, thanks for having me. All right. It's a good time. Yeah. I'm sorry. I broke the clitoris. It's okay. There's been more clitoris. There's a lot more with that came from. But everyone should have took out your podcasts. You're live life better. It's at Scott Eastwood everywhere in Instagram. You've got a lot of followers and people I know you don't care. Social media I'm kidding. Cuz you were kind of so we media. Social media is a pain in the ass. It is kind of, right? Do you enjoy it?

I look, I think it is the way in which, it's a weird thing, social media, because I remember before there was social media, I remember how I felt before there was social media. And now it's such a part of our lives. before there was social media. I remember how I felt before there was social media. And now it's such a part of our lives. Right. It's so time consuming, it can be habitual. I think it needs, just like you were saying earlier,

moderation, even moderation, moderation. Like you really have to be diligent about that, you know? I mean, it's easy to get lost in that in that world and you need to remember like this is like not real This is fake. This is like this is a like this is a thing like what we're doing right now is real This is real. We're having a conversation, you know, this is just stuff. It's noise. It is noise Ambient stuff, right try to walk away from the phone like I tried to do what I'm working out or when I'm just like leaving The house or Worker like trying to like put it away like turn it off. Yep. Just distraction. Okay, so your at Scuddy's would

Check out your podcast. Check out your life. Sure. Well, I'm good luck with everything you're doing I love that you're a seeker and that you're doing good in the world. Thank you. You're awesome So thanks for being here and thanks everyone for listening. You're awesome and Thanks to my amazing team Ken volunteer Sarah producer Jamie and Michael was for listening, you're awesome. And thanks to our amazing team Ken, volunteer Sarah, producer Jamie and Michael was a good for you. Email me feedback at section Emily.com. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC