Sex With Emily - Ask and You Shall Receive (Oral)

Episode Date: November 22, 2022

Getting the sex we want: it’s easier said than done. Sharing your needs with a partner can be difficult and awkward. But what if we feel undeserving of the gift of pleasure all together?On today’s best-of episode, I’ll answer your questions all about giving and receiving. From trouble with orgasms to insecurities around body parts - how we receive the gift of oral is often where mental blocks around sex begin - and end. Plus, we hear some giving success stories. Because improving our pleasure potential is all about communicating our needs - ask, and you shall receive.Show Notes:Sexiest Gift Guide Ever: Emily’s Picks for 2022 HolidaysLELO HUGO (code ‘EMILY’ for 25% off all products)Article: The Kivin MethodArticle: How Do I Go Down on a Vulva?Article: How Do I Better Enjoy Oral Sex?Article: How Can I Be More Confident in the Bedroom? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I always think, if you're going down on me for three minutes and then you come back up and you decide we're done, it's like that didn't nothing. I wasn't even settled it. You could have gotten me a glass of water. You could have walked to the kitchen, gotten me a glass of water, come back and that would have been way more useful than three minutes. Go on down on me. You're listening to Sex with Emily.

I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. Getting the sex we want, well, it's easier said than done. And sharing your needs with a partner can be difficult and awkward, but what if we feel undeserving of the gift of pleasure altogether? Well, on today's best of episode, I'll answer your questions all about giving and receiving. From trouble with orgasms to insecurities around body parts, how we receive the gift of oral

well is often where mental blocks around sex begin and end. Intentions with Emily, for each episode, I want to start off by setting an intention for the show and I encourage you all to do the same. My intention is to help you feel less inhibited when telling a partner what you need. When both partners listen and express their needs, everyone can achieve more rewarding, authentic pleasure. Please rate and review Sex with Emily wherever you listen

to the show. My new article, Sexiest Gift Guide Ever, Emily's Picks for 2022, is up at sexwithemily.com. Also, check out my YouTube channel, social media, and TikTok. It's all at sexwithemily for more sex tips and advice. You want to ask me questions? Leave me your questions or message me at sexwithemily.com slash askemily. Or call my hotline 559-talk-sex or 559-825-5739. and innovative line of sex toys at the end of this episode. Are there what enjoy this show? Before we get started, I just wanted to remind you all that this is the best of episode that may include outdated language like references to gender.

I started using the term penis owner and vulva owner in around 2020 in order to be more inclusive of all gender identities and expressions. We're always learning and growing here at Sex with Emily and can only continue to do so with your continued feedback. So thank you. A lot of us are really good at giving and we're not great at receiving. Some of us receive, that means we're takers, but we don't give anything. I hear from a lot of you is that it's really hard to allow ourselves just to kinda sink in and receive,

even if it's a compliment or it's a gift. Even if it's something you really wanted, we somehow feel we're not worthy, we're not good enough that we automatically have to give back. You know, I know I do that. Someone will say to me, you're so great, you're doing so well or something. And I'll say, oh, but look at you, right?

I immediately turn it towards the person. Or do you ever do this? Someone's like, I love your shirt. And you're like, got it on sale for 20 bucks because you want to somehow lessen the compliment or make it less than. We make ourselves small. I don't know, I do that. I've done that.

And I try to stop myself and practice the art of just saying, thank you. Thanks. And letting something just sort of sink in for a moment. And I know where a lot of you struggle too is receiving pleasure in the bedroom. Maybe your partner wants to do something for you. Maybe they want to go down on you or they want to just give, and you just feel that it's not okay that you have to somehow get back right away.

Let's talk to Kendra, 21 in Los Angeles, who's struggling to orgasm from oral sex. Hi, Kendra. Hi, how are you doing this evening, Emily? Good. Thank you for calling. How can I help you? So I have some questions about oral sex. It's just so confusing to me. I've never been able to orgasm from getting oral sex. I talk to my girlfriends about it and they're all saying, oh yeah, that's the only time I orgasm or it's okay.

And I feel like I'm missing out on something. But I just don't really know what to do when I talk to my girlfriend. Like, oh, you just haven't found the right guy that like, no, what he's doing. Well, like, what is this pinch charming that knows what he's doing? That's such a good question. So the first thing is, have you had an orgasm before? Yes, and I do orgasm, like with penetration, but just never from getting oral sex. Oh, okay.

Well, that's pretty cool that you can orgasm from penetration. You realize that that's rare, right? It's only 20% of women. So, do you masturbate? And if you masturbate, do you have an orgasm through rubbing your clitoris? Yeah, I do have a womanizer that's just on the outside. And I orgasm from that, but I actually find that when I use,

I think it's called a garabit where it has inside and outside, it's like a more intense orgasm. Like, like, it better. Okay. Well, there you go. So let me tell you this, Kendra, there's a few things going on here. First off, guys at 20, are you with guys your age? 21, 22? Yeah.

Okay. So let me just say this, and this is not a knock. This is about years on the planet planet like wisdom and experience. Guys typically and women too, they don't know how to do it as well as somebody who has more years on the planet more years under their belt of having sex with people, right? And women also kind of knowing what they like and telling them what they like. So some guys are just kind of, you know, shooting in the dark. We were actually talking before the show. O.V. was telling me that she has a friend who was like motor boating her, her glitter,

like he went down on her, Ovi's your agent. He was like, brrr, like going back and forth and it's like, no, that's not what you do. So I would say part of it is, yeah, you haven't found your prince charming of oral yet. I believe it's probably somebody who hasn't, who might not know and they might need your direction because a lot of guys go in really fast.

They don't warm it up, they don't tease you. They just kind of go right for the clitoris, but sounds like for you that maybe there's a little bit of warm up, maybe they would have to put a finger inside as well as use their tongue on the outside. There's some women that are able to orgasm internally. They find if their clitoris is more sensitive and that oral

sex doesn't feel as good to them. But I don't know if you're that person because you're not saying it doesn't feel good. Like it doesn't hurt, right? It's not too sensitive. No, it still feels good. I just feel like I'm nowhere near finishing it. Okay. So part of it is because you don't have experience with it, right?

You've never had the experience. So it's a first time thing. And so I would say that it's a matter of telling them to slow down another great tip is that this Kiven method that we talk about on the show. Are you with a partner right now? Are you with a Diva Boyce? I'm not, and I think that's part of the reason

I kind of like want to figure this out is because I don't have like a boyfriend right now. And like I want to hook up with people but I wouldn't necessarily want to figure this out is because I don't have like a boyfriend right now. And like, I want to hook up with people, but I wouldn't necessarily want to have sex. And so I was like, well, I'm not really getting much out of this. We're not having sex. Exactly. Well, I like that. I really like that you, you know that because then a lot of young women are like, oh, I'm just going to give a blowjob.

That's not sex. You should have an orgasm. So you could even tell them if you're, if it's with somebody that, that you're experimenting. And then you could also tell them about the Kiven method is a method of oral. And you can go to our website sexwithamily.com, but it's called the Kiven method, K-I-V-I-N. And it's when your partner goes left, like it's going side to side, like from thigh to thigh. And because that way you are reaching more nerve endings, you're not going up and down. Like he's not licking from like toe to head. It's thigh to thigh.

So you're reaching more nerve endings and then their tongue is moving like they lie perpendicular. It's a matter of, when guys ask you to say, I'm kind of trying to figure it out right now. Like I don't think it's shameful that you haven't had a lot of pleasure that way. You could just say like show them with your head. You know how you like to be touched.

So another thing is guiding them with your hand and maybe next time you're masturbating, use a mirror, look at, use your fingers and kind of look and like, where do I like this touch? And again, since you're somebody who likes, who can have an orgasm through penetration, it might mean that you also need a finger inside and their mouth. So all I'm saying is there's nothing wrong with you, but they probably don't know, and you have an experience it. So just be patient and try to guide them.

Yeah, I think it's tough too, just like with guys my age, they don't understand that it takes a while. Yeah, they think it takes like three seconds because they look at porn and that's what it takes, but it's a, it could take, so here's the thing, Kendra, there's something called the orgasm gap. Most men can orgasm in six to 10 minutes and women take about 20 to 40 minutes to have an orgasm and really good oral sex with the guy going down on

you can take about 30 minutes. So they have to settle in. It's not just a drive by limb. Yeah, definitely never settled in for that long. So that's some good advice. Yeah, that's true. We think it should just happen in three minutes and then we think we're looking at the clock going, oh my god, it's been five minutes now and then we're like, it's okay, but it takes time. So those are some of my best tips there for you, Kendra.

Yeah, don't really. I like to be there. I'm pretty confident in the bedroom and like willing to tell people what I want, but I just didn't really know what to ask for. Well, there you go. Does that help a little bit? Yeah, a lot. Thank you. Awesome.

If I can drop, let me know it goes, okay? I'll be waiting to hear it. Alrighty. You guys, this is the thing. We don't know, we don't know. So it takes a little bit of time to allow ourselves to receive, right? We think it's taking too long.

I remember staring at that clock in my boyfriend's bedroom and just like those clocks that blink like the blinking red light, those little dots and you'd be like, oh God, I'm looking over. It's been three minutes, five minutes. I should probably orgasm by now. Nobody orgasms after, I don't know, maybe you do orgasm after three minutes of your partner going down to you, but I always think, if you're going down on me for three minutes and then you come back up and you decide we're done, it's like that didn't nothing. I wasn't even settled it. You could have gotten me a glass of water.

You could have walked to the kitchen, gotten me a glass of water, come back and that would have been way more useful than three minutes going down on me. So you need a partner who's going to settle in, but it is the combination of experience and exploration and education, really. I believe that if you're in your 20s, you just haven't walked on the planet as much. You haven't had as much experience. You probably haven't been with a partner who knew what they wanted. I mean, I love to hear from women in their 20s. You were like, yeah, I get it. I get pleasure. I need to get pleasure. I lost so many years not knowing this stuff. Your pelvic floor muscles. Don't forget about those. Those are the muscles that we do when I tell you to do your kegels. This is also the muscles that contract when you have an orgasm. So when your kegels are kegels, kegels, kegels, however you say it, you should do them. When they're stronger, It can help you reach orgasm more effectively.

That is the truth. The other thing is get acquainted with your vulva. Look at it. Take a mirror. Check out what's going on when you become comfortable with your own body. Then you're going to be more comfortable receiving oral sex because then you're going to look at it and go, Oh, wow. Start to touch yourself and look in the mirror and you'll see, oh look, my, my clitoris swells, my vulva, you know, my labia is swelling and then you just start to learn to understand your body and I hope from there you'd go into body acceptance, maybe it's in some body love. Make sure that you're in a comfortable environment. I mean, being comfortable is everything. So make sure that you're in a position that supports you. If you ever had someone give you oral

and like your head's falling off the bed and you're not really comfortable, how are you supposed to receive in that position? Like having a pillow under your butt or making sure you know your partner's like supporting your hips. Just make sure you have a good environment. This helps for all things,

not just receiving oral, but relaxation techniques, like inhaling and exhaling really slowly. And that helps with those distracting thoughts too, like does my partner really want to be doing this? So when you inhale and you exhale slowly, you'll get back into your body. So one way to do it is like a four count inhale and a four count exhale. That really helps me because sometimes I think I'm breathing slowly and I'm not, so when you have to count, you realize, oh, this is slowing down. And it can also like lower your stress levels

and elevate your sex play, especially your climax. Next tip, give your partner directions. Tell him what you want. I believe that your partner wants to know why should they be guessing. So it's okay to guide their hand or have a talk about it outside the bedroom. Another thing, flavored lube. It's great for giving oral.

If your partner wants to use it, I knew when you're receiving oral. It's body safe. Doesn't upset your pH balance, and they taste delicious. Oh, so you guys, you've probably been hearing a lot about CBD lately, but it's excellent for calming your nerves, calming your vulva, sometimes just rubbing something on, taking a moment to make sure that you are ready to go in the mood, this will help you. It's awesome. Another way to enjoy receiving is to put on some music.

If you play an amazing sex playlist, that could help you as well stay in the moment and not get distracted by noises or things that might kind of get you out of the mood. So I think that's really important. Stimulate other rodent zone simultaneously. So maybe your partner can play with your nipples and be going down on you. It's also really relaxing and it's, you know, your senses are stimulating, they can also stroke your anus. You know, play with the other hot spots. You know, why settle yourself on one?

So listen, I know a lot of you worry about, do I taste bad, do I smell bad? What's going on down there? And, you know, I'll say it now, I'll say it again. Your vagina is like a self-cleaning oven, it's going to clean itself. But if it would make you feel better, it's okay to take a quick shower beforehand

or have some wipes to freshen up. Try oral sex in the shower, but I think that we worry about that way more than we need to. I'm not thinking it's just switching up your positions. Maybe you're lying on your stomach with your booty up or standing with one leg pressed up or maybe hovering over your partner's face. You can also try the pillow method. Listen, if you put a pillow underneath your hips

and you use a pillow to tilt your hips slightly upward, that allows your legs to open just a bit more and expose more of the anus if you wanna play around there. Figure out what feels good to you and then go for it. This is from Gracie21 in Canada. She said, I have found I have anxiety about someone going down on me. I used to love it. Never had a problem. But a past boyfriend made a comment about how disgusting it is. He never minded doing it to other women but he doesn't want to do it to me. Anyway, now I'm in a better relationship for over a year and he makes me so comfortable and I still find I have this anxiety around

letting him go down on me. I've let him a few times. He loves it and wants to do it all the time. I love that he loves doing it, but I never let him because of a comment in the past relationship. How can I get past this and enjoy it? Like I used to, oh, greasy, greasy, greasy. First, let me say this. You have a story in here that says he didn't mind doing it to other women. First off, I don't believe that. I believe that he was shaming you

and he was trying to say something hurtful for you because he didn't want to do it. And we have to remember that as well. We can't go back in fact check, but I'm telling you that that's just a dick move. Like, why is he going to tell you that? But also that the anxiety is real. It just takes one person saying one thing about our bodies, about our vulvas, about our penis, anything. And we're just, you know, someone could tease you in the locker room when you're 18 and then you're 40 and you're like,

my penis is not good, you know? And it just sticks with us. So I just have to tell you, Gracie, that what would be the most useful thing for you is to tell your partner, your loving partner, who wants to provide oral to you. I would tell him outside the bedroom that you love oral, but you have a little trepidation about it.

You could say you have a partner who, you could even, if you'd like to share this, you're too often, you could say I have a partner who didn't like it. So I always thought that men don't like it even though you're telling me you like it. You don't have to get into all the details. And you could say, can you allow me?

I would like to learn how to receive it. And so I want you to know this because then when you share that with him, Gracie, then he's on board with you. He's not like wondering why won't Gracie let me go down on her? He's like, oh, I get it. You need me to, you know, go slow. You need me to tell you how much I love it. Maybe you need him to say you taste so good.

Maybe you look so good. I love doing this. I could stay here all night, which side note, this is what you say, to evolve a owner. If you're going down on her, you say, babe, I'm not going anywhere. I'm about to settle in and I'm going to stay here all night. I love the way you taste and I love the way you smell and I'm in this. Talk about that. That's how you feel more relaxed, right? If someone said that to you, wouldn't you be able to like settle in and say,

okay, they're down with going down. But otherwise, you have these messages in your head, Gracie. So the more you start to realize that you deserve this pleasure and then you actually experience the pleasure of your partner going down in you and then having an orgasm, you're going to forget this ex boyfriend and all the anxiety, but we just got to get you over the hump. So that's how we stop the negative self-talk. Alexandria, almost on cue 19 from Florida, has a question about oral. We're talking about oral sex. Hi Alexandria, perfect timing.

What's going on? Hi. First of all, thank you timing. What's going on? Hi. First of all, thank you so much for having me and answering my call. Of course. I'm here for you. I basically have had past experiences. I'm a young girl, so I just feel like my past experiences

with oral has been kind of limiting. I feel like restricted when I don't know, like, presenting myself. I feel like there with, I don't know, like presenting myself. I feel like there's a lot of pressure around how women should look down there. And my main partners have been guys. I kind of stress about like, oh, is it clean enough down there? Is it, do I need to be hairless? Ryan, really, I just don't want to be hairless.

Like, and all of that. And I also stress about like, does it taste good to them or like something like that? And I usually end up losing patience because I think about way too much in the moment. Yes. I guess I never like had an orgasm from oral sex. Okay. It's been a like heartbreaking moment. I don't know because I really like to feel pleasure

and not worry. Yeah, I totally get it, Alexandra. I'm so glad you called in with this, because this is so common. You know, you're so young, you're 19 and so you're still figuring it out. And so the fact that you're able to, in this moment, share this and say, this is what's going on means that you absolutely can get past it. And so let's start with the hair. If you don't want to shave it all off, don't shave it all off. Do something like do it in a way that makes you feel good. Trim or don't trim.

And then I would also say, if you shower and you take good care of yourself, I think that your taste is fine. So there's nothing to worry about. But the only thing is Alexander, which you have to contend with, is that most men your age, not don't care if they slept with 50 women, but most of their experience or on sex comes from porn. And then the porn, it's not realistic. It's not real life. It's it's fake. It's a fictionalized version of sex. And the women are

more shaved and trim. And they look perfect because they're literally tucked in and cheated towards, like their bodies move towards camera. They're shot at different angles, so every vulva looks trim and beautiful. And I'm telling you that it's not real life, but at 19, maybe the partners that you're with, they don't really get it either. But I do think that you can be with somebody who's gonna allow you to be your best self, to feel confident.

So it's really just a matter of experience and it's okay at 19 that you haven't been able to settle into it because most of us happen. You haven't had a lot of experience and then you have a lot of messages probably in your head that are telling you you should be something different than you are. Yeah, it is like stressful, especially with a person

I don't know as well. And then I end up just thinking way too much. Maybe right now, find someone that you do know well. If you're gold right now, see whenever we're having sex, this is the thing. Whenever we're about to have sex with them, Alexander, I'm at different stages in my life. I'm like, am I just looking for sex right now

or do I actually want to be with somebody that I know and that I feel safe with? And I have to tell you that perhaps what I'm hearing from you, and this is true for a lot of women, that the best sex we have, the most pleasurable sex we have, is when we're with a partner that we feel safe with and that we trust. And I'm not saying this has to be your future husband,

and you even have to be completely committed. But maybe if it's a one off and you're just meeting them, I don't know that we any of us feel that comfortable with someone we barely know to go down on us. It's so intimate. So that might be as well. Maybe find so you know, if you find someone that you know that they are trustworthy and they treat you well, that they're not going to shame you and they're going to be as invested in your pleasure as you are.

But that's not always easy to find with random people we meet. My best sex is not necessarily with like some random person I meet. Not in that saying you're dating randoms. I'm saying I get it with randoms. I don't know who you're dating, but I've done the random. I've done it all so I could be here and talk to you about it. So I'm just saying go easy on yourself, and that maybe that's okay that you're not okay with it with someone you just met right and maybe if there's a partner you could have repetitive sex with you'll

start to open up. I know for me gets better over time when I'm with someone. Yeah, yeah. So there we go. Well, thank you so much. Of course you are beautiful as you are. Thank you Alexandra. When we're back we'll'll hear from collars who share some romantic gifts they receive to give you some inspiration. So don't go anywhere. And 60 in Canada, she has a special gift story. Oh my goodness. I have the most amazing man. I live in Canada. He lives in Boston. And I traveled down to Boston to spend some time with him and he surprised me with a trip. And he wouldn't tell me where we were going. When we checked into the ticket counter, he made sure I wasn't in near shot of anyone. So

it was completely in the dark until I went to the gate and realized that we were going to Orlando. Now I've always told him as a kid, I'm 60, so I'm up there. But as a child, I always wanted to go on the Peter Pan ride in Disney and he decided he was going to take me down to Disney. We arrived there. It was a surprise. He took me to a beautiful hotel, the Cosmopolitan, and, or the contemporary story. And we spent the night there,

and then he took me into the park so I could ride my Peter Pan ride. And then at night, he took me to Victorian Elberts which is an amazing restaurant in the Floridian and he took me into the private dining room where there's only four tables and it just shuts dinner with wine caring and we had a beautiful-course dinner and then he scuttled me away down the back of the Floridian out to the the Marina and And on to a private yacht and he took me out on this private yacht It was just him and I and we saw the fireworks at the enchanted castle from

We had champagne. He bought me a beautiful diamond ring and he also gave me a glass slipper. Oh, and that's amazing. That is a piece. So he listened, but you want to go to. Yes, he listened. He hit all the marks. He satisfied my childhood dreams. He knows I'm a foodie, love wine pairing dinners, and the romance of going out onto a private yacht. He just, it's just amazing. He's an amazing man and I feel very, very special to have him. And that's beautiful. When was this? Was this, how long have you been together and when was this? It was five years ago. We've been together about 10 years now, but just because of our situations, meaning his family and the states and mine here in Canada, we don't, we're together, but we're not physically together. Does that make sense? Yeah. Because we've got a lot of responsibilities. So yeah, it's just when we do get together, we feel very blessed that we have

each other. I mean, we're always talking on the phone and everything else, but when you think that your dreams can't come true, it really does. You put it out there and there's some very special people in this world if your heart's open to it. Well, and you're 60, so you're saying you met him at 50 then you met him 10 years ago. Yep. So do you say how did you meet them asking for a friend? I met him when I was through business because I do a lot of traveling and the business that I'm in takes me Into the US as well. So it was very accidental and we just started out as friends and When times get a little tough, which they do for everybody You really realize who's really there for you

and who's there to lend you an ear, hold you up and those things are so important. So they are. Well, and thanks for sharing that super inspiring, even though it's long distance. So you see each other like once a month or once every few months. Well, we see each other about once every five or six months, but the fun part about it is we can always face time. So we still feel connected. I really feel that he's my soul mate and he feels the same. So we are definitely connected.

Okay. So it doesn't matter. Distance doesn't matter. Oh, and I guess it doesn't. You're right. No, Anne, what do you give him? I want to know what you're going to give him this year. Like, do you feel like you going to give him this year.

Do you feel like you have to give him something back? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know what? We usually, our gift right now is just being able to get together just because of our situation. So yeah, we're more into experiencing things together. So yeah, it's going to be pretty hard for me to top that one. But I love it. That's a beautiful story.

Thank you, Anne. I have a great night. I appreciate you. I'm so glad you found the love. That's a beautiful story. Listen to what she wanted, what she needed, lived her childhood dreams. Let's talk to Jonathan 45 in Colorado. Hi, Jonathan. What's going on Jonathan 45 in Colorado. Hi, Jonathan.

What's going on? Hi, Emily. How you doing tonight? Good. How are you? Tell me everything. I'm doing great as always listening to your show about the sexual revolution that you are trying to give

to the nation. Of course, as most scholars, I'd like to say thank you and your staff for all that you do for opening up a lot of people's eyes out there in the one topic nobody really wants to touch. Right. But I was calling to let you know that I recently got in relationship and of course we went ahead and I downloaded the PDF of your yes-no, maybe list. We got that out. Yes, we also went over the terms of our relationship

and we're going to re-value it our relationship every quarter. But one thing she did was once we finalized our to find the relationship contract or term was she gives me this envelope and it says congratulations. And in this envelope is about 12 to 14 coupon vouchers for different sexual favors, whether it's BDSM, whether it's a sexual massage with a happy ending, just a lot of sexual goodies in there. And all I have to do is give her a 12-hour notice.

First time in my life that I get something like that, where I really get excited. It's sort of for me and my lifetime feels like when a woman sends you a sexy text message of, hey, come on over. Are your girlfriend sends you a picture of some lingerie, she's gonna wear for you that night, say hey, I'll see you tonight, 11 o'clock,

but it was one of the great gift ideas that I ever see from a girlfriend in my 45 years of living on this planet. Wow. I love to hear that she did that for you. It worked, it was appreciated. And we can just make that at home. We don't have to go out and spend a lot of money and look how much you appreciate it.

I love this Jonathan. Have you cast any of the coupons yet? No, I plan on casting in this weekend. All she really did, if people think about an idea, was pretty much she just got different color index cards and a marker and just wrote on them. It's all she did. The other thing I'll let you know that you'll love to hear is we also have an agreement that we will be visiting an adult sex store every three to four months together.

And yes, I already have toys for her, I bought toys for her as well as me. And yes, I do have lube under my nightstand, whether it's lube for lubrication and of course massage oils. Jonathan, you're killing it. You are just an a-student here. This sounds like a really solid relationship. Yeah. And the other thing, too, that, I want to comment is a spot on

information that you give to the people. It's just not you blowing up smoke of people's a-ness. No pun intended. Right. Yeah. I'm not making this stuff up. It's legit. Jonathan, I feel like you like work with me or something. And we have we met Jonathan. You're amazing. You're doing it all. You're killing it. What were some other things that she put in your coupon book? doing it all your killing at what was some other things that she put in your coupon book. The one that really made me laugh besides BDSM and there was two in there for BDSM. There was one for me to dominate her and there was another one in there for her to dominate me and she left some blank lines in there for the safe words whether it was red, yellow or green. Another one she put in there for the safe words, whether it was red, yellow, or green.

Another one she put in there that was really nice, what she said. This card is free to cash in for an oral exam. Don't worry, you will pass because I'm going to do all the work. A lot of cute, clever things she put in there. Super cute, clever. I think this is super inspiring. For everyone listening, we can get into it more. We should call back again, Jonathan. she put in there. Super cute, clever. I think this is super inspiring. For everyone listening, we can kind of get into it more. We should call back again, Jonathan.

Great to talk to you. Since this episode is all about giving and receiving, well, here's a gift for the Volvo one in your life. Lalo. Let me tell you these two products. It's the Lalo Enigma cruise and the Leilo dot. First, the enigma cruise. Now, this is a dual action sonic massager

that essentially is combining these sonic waves that just give you intense, literal pleasure. And then there's these rumbly vibrations for internal stimulation. So, you know what that means? A blended orgasm. The enigma cruise is so well done, and it's just a beautiful product actually,

using soft silicone. It's really easy to use. So it automatically increases intensity when you press it harder against your body. So that means you don't have to be fumbling with buttons. It sort of intuitively knows how to please you. How cool is that? And also, you have to check out their Lalo dot, also never see anything like this. So essentially, it has a pinpoint literal stimulator that

essentially allows for multiple endless orgasms. Because unlike other vibrators that may numb the area, or might be too intense for the clitoris, this dot has a little precision point that has a little bendable tip and so it allows you to reach all those nerve endings in your vulva, your clitoris, so you're just kind of teasing yourself and you're finding all these areas on your body, specifically your vulva and your clitoris that could be stimulated with this little pinpoint. It's so cool. So check out the NigmaCruzelalo.usecodeemily for 25% off all products, including the already discounted ones. Well, that's generous at lalo.com. That's codeemily for 25% off at lelo.com That's it for today's episode. See you on Friday.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Be sure to like, subscribe, and give us a review wherever you listen to the podcast and share this with a friend or partner. You can find me on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter at Sex with Emily. Oh, I've been told I give really good email. So sign up at sexwithemily.com and while you're there, check out my free guides and articles for more ways to prioritize your pleasure. If you'd like to ask me about your sex life, dating or relationships, call my hotline 559 Talk Sex. That's 559 825 5739. Go to sexwithemily.com slash Ask Emily.

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