Sex With Emily - Astrological Desire Styles: Talking Pleasure with The AstroTwins

Episode Date: September 6, 2024

In this episode, Dr. Emily welcomes her friend and fellow Michigan native, Ophira from The AstroTwins, to discuss their new book, The Astrology Advantage, and their revolutionary I*AM system. This uni...que system or framework blends astrology with the Enneagram and Meyers Briggs to unlock insights into your personality-- your buttons, skills, passions, and life path. As a bonus, Ophi reads Emily's chart, revealing how the I*AM system shapes her career, sex, desire, and goals. They explore the Authority, Innovator, and Maven archetypes, offering a fresh perspective on understanding yourself through astrology. Tune in to learn how astrology influences desire and sexuality and how to align with your authentic sexual self. Get your copy of The Astrology Advantage to dig deeper into your I*AM archetype! Ophi describes the I*AM System as “an astrological personality test” and “Atomic Habits meets The Wisdom of The Enneagram.” You need this book! I could not put it down. Purchase: The Astrology Advantage More about The AstroTwins What You'll Learn: The I*AM System Explained: Discover how the Authority, Innovator, and Maven archetypes correlate with the 13 planets in astrology and your chart. Astrology Meets Enneagram: Learn how each IAM archetype connects with the 12 zodiac signs, offering a new lens to understand your personality, desires, and behavior. Sex, Shame, and Kink: Understand how your I*AM archetype influences your sexual expression and how to overcome shame or embrace kink through astrological insights. Body Confidence and Sexual Fulfillment: Explore how aligning with your archetype helps you feel more comfortable in your body as you pursue pleasure and intimacy. Sexual Authenticity: Learn how your sexual style—whether you're an Innovator, Authority, or Maven—affects how you engage with partners and express desire authentically. Also, SmartSx, my new membership, launches on September 10th. Please join me and this incredible community of open-minded pleasure-seekers! Here's a sneak peak of what you'll experience when you sign up: SmartSX is a community and app for individuals prioritizing pleasure and sexual well-being, helping members explore desires and create a fulfilling sex life. Great lovers are made, not born: Anyone can learn how to have the best sexual experiences of their lives. SmartSX members can directly interact with her and ask questions in the community. Inclusive membership: SmartSX caters to everyone—whether you're a beginner or experienced, single or partnered—focusing on understanding, giving, and receiving pleasure. Members will uncover their unique desire style, increase their Sex IQ, enhance sexual communication, and gain essential tools for a healthy sex life through discussions, special guests, and experts. Each month features a theme based on Dr. Emily's 12 Universal Truths About Sex and Pleasure, starting with Sexual Connection is a Skill Set. GET ON THE WAITLIST: CLICK HERE

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Starting point is 00:02:24 and liberate the conversation around sex. Today's episode is all about a topic that's a little bit controversial, sometimes even more than sex. We're talking about astrology. I know before you're like I don't know about astrology. Let me tell you there was some serious wisdom and science to the snapshot of the time that you were born. And these women have been doing it for 30 years. Ophi and Tali, they founded AstroStyle, Astrologers for Elle Magazine. And these identical twins have revolutionized
Starting point is 00:02:54 the way we understand astrology. Through their bestselling books like Love Zodiac, Mom's Strology, their annual horoscope guides, they've brought astrology to the millions. And their latest book, The Astrology Advantage, introduces their I Am method. You can learn more about them at astrostyle.com and you've got to take their quiz right now to help you with this entire episode to discover your I Am archetype. The Astrology Advantage unpacks their amazing system. It's a
Starting point is 00:03:23 cosmic personality test that combines astrology, Myers-Briggs, and the Enneagram. In this episode she reads my chart using her own innovative framework to see how the stars align with my career, my sex life, my desires, and then where I fall in their system. And when you download, when you check out their system, you'll be able to follow along. We all really have a unique code and Ophi will walk us through how to discover it. So you can use these tools to have an incredible life
Starting point is 00:03:53 and sex life. Please rate and review Sex with Emily, wherever you listen to the show, it helps get the show out to more people and it just takes you a few seconds to do it. You can just do it right now. Look at your phone, look at your app that you're listening to this on and review us.
Starting point is 00:04:05 We so appreciate it. You can also find me on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter or X and Facebook, all the places. It's all at Sex with Emily. And check out my new articles, How to Have Vigorous Sex the Right Way and Does Sleeping Apart Help Your Sex Life? Are both up on sexwithemily.com.
Starting point is 00:04:21 Before we get into the episode, I'm so excited to announce my new membership community coming September 10th. It is called Smart SX. And this is the membership that you have been waiting for to take your sex life to the next level. I'm gonna be there with you every step of the way, coaching you, helping you.
Starting point is 00:04:36 You know, after 20 years of doing this one-way conversation with you, I want to work with you together and bring in some leading experts and help you build a community. These are your people that are gonna help you have the sex life and the relationships that you've been craving. Check it out on my website, SexWithEmily.com and click the membership tab. Alright everyone, enjoy this episode. One of my biggest missions as a sex educator is to make sex less taboo and I
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Starting point is 00:05:40 that you're not alone. Listen, we're all in this together and we're all just trying to have the most pleasurable sex and relationships as we possibly can. In addition to this welcoming community, the membership will include live coaching sessions, exclusive access to the best experts in the business, weekly polls and quizzes, and just so much more. So please join me in being a founding member of Smart SX. Head over to SexWithEmily.com slash membership to join the membership waitlist Head over to sexwithemily.com slash membership to join the membership wait list. That's sexwithemily.com slash membership or just text the word SX.
Starting point is 00:06:11 That's the letter S and the letter X to 323-309-4757. And I'll send you updates via text. We're starting a pleasure revolution and you're invited. See you there. Thank you for doing this. And it was so nice to meet you in person. Oh my God. We had that instant connection.
Starting point is 00:06:35 We both went to university at Michigan, grew up blocks away, miles away from each other. Very few miles. I know, right? Very few miles. And when you mentioned the astrology advantage, you had me hooked at lunch. I'm very lucky that I got like a sneak peek
Starting point is 00:06:52 into the book and the philosophy of it. And it made me think, we love, we all love different modes to understand ourselves, right? We're obsessed with personality tests and like the Enneagram and Myers-Briggs and Clifton Strains with A Friend Just Had Me Take. And so what I love is that you make astrology so easy to understand. And so I appreciate that. I think even by reading your book, The Astrology Advantage and your new system, which we're going to get into the IM system. I love that you call it your personal instruction manual because I'm always telling people you need to have owner's manual for our body so we know what we
Starting point is 00:07:35 like, and I'm always getting people do that. But this instruction manual for your life that's just laid out in the cosmos. Just I love it. Using astrology as an instruction manual for our life. So I love all of that. I'm gonna admit that I was very skeptical about astrology for a long time. Can you just give us a quick,
Starting point is 00:07:55 why this isn't just some fluffy woo woo thing? So basically the birth chart is a snapshot of the sky overhead at your time of birth. So it's like if you looked up, took a freeze frame of the planets as they were arranged overhead with you, then you would see, oh, okay, it forms a pattern. And that tells you your strengths, your challenges, much like a personality test does, but mapped to the sky. It sounds crazy, but when my college boyfriend, also back at U of M, did this for me,
Starting point is 00:08:30 he got me this 30 page report. And I was like, this is undeniably true about me. So I guess we come with a cosmic code that we don't know about. Right. That's it. It's a cosmic code. And we want everyone to know about it, so we can help them with a lot of areas that they're struggling, whether it's work, place, love, just relationship dynamics with everyone, your family, right?
Starting point is 00:08:54 Absolutely. Maybe you could just first start out by explaining to us this new, the IAM system? Well, the IAM system is like the short code for astrology. So, you know, a lot of people nowadays have done their astrology charts already. They've, you know, used apps or whatever, and they're like, oh, that's interesting. And now I've promptly forgotten everything that I've just read or learned.
Starting point is 00:09:23 So, we, you know, my sister and I have been like working with entrepreneurs and high performing people and they just don't have the hard drive space in their brain. They don't have time to remember an entire new hieroglyphic vocabulary in astrology. So we worked with something called the chart dominance in the chart where it takes like your whole birth chart and crunches it into one of three archetypes, innovator, authority,
Starting point is 00:09:52 and maven. And from there you can determine like what your mode and way of working with life is. So let's get into these three archetypes that we break it down into in this book, in I Am. Yeah, so a lot of people have heard about the elements, the fire, earth, air, and water signs. That's one way that the zodiac, the 12 zodiac signs are subgrouped. But there's another way that are called the qualities or modalities.
Starting point is 00:10:25 And that's what we tapped into, because those are kind of the behavior triggers and psychological drivers and motivations and the impact like, you know, a lot of people use astrology, when will I find love or when will that but it's not only about that. It's also like what is under the hood of you that makes you respond to things the way you do? And what do you need to feel this equilibrium in the world in a relationship, in the bedroom, in life forever, in your body? So that's what you can find in the qualities and modalities. They have astro-jargony names that we've redefined. So it's called cardinal, fixed, and mutalities, they have astro-jargony names that we've redefined. So it's called cardinal, fixed, and mutable, but the cardinal signs are the four signs
Starting point is 00:11:13 that start every season, Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn. And we've renamed those the innovators because they're the starters, the trailblazers, and the pioneers who are always kind of ahead of the curve. And then there are the authorities or the fixed signs, Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius, and they're in the middle of the season. So they kind of take what the innovators start and fashion it into something that the producers, the project managers, the experts, the ones who, you know, put in those 10,000
Starting point is 00:11:46 hours to master something. And then there are the mavens who are the communicators and the marketers. Those are the four mutable signs, Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces. And they are the finishers of the season. So they polish everything up and serve it up to the people. How do we use this to either find someone, we could start with that to find someone. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:11 And then what if we're with somebody that isn't compatible? Like, is there some signs that, or some of these that shouldn't be together? No, I think everyone can be together. I believe that any two people, if they love each other, can make it work. I'm with you.
Starting point is 00:12:24 Yeah. But you need to kind of know the person's operating system. Like you cannot install Mac software on an Android platform or a Windows platform without a little extra, at least, you know, little IT support there. So you got to know who you're dealing with. You got to know what you're dealing with. You got to know what you're signing up for. And then I would I guess it's just true no matter what preferences come in. Like you got to be like, are you willing to meet me halfway? You know, if you're a maven and you're extra talky or flirty and I'm an authority and I see your flirting with other people as a
Starting point is 00:13:06 signal disrespect instead of something that you actually gonna bring home to the boudoir and you know we're gonna both enjoy the bounty of that. This is a helpful negotiation tool. It's a framework to give you something to start from. I have been joking that I think, you know, like we have 70 plus pronouns for gender. Why don't we have those for relationships too? I mean, maybe we do, but not enough. Not enough. And innovators are like we have a secondary name. Innovators are the idealists. Sometimes I call them the independents too. Authorities, the attachers, and mavens, the mirrors. Innovators should not always live with their partners, but we have like, well, you've now
Starting point is 00:13:52 reached this point on the linear timeline, you should move in together and get met. And the minute an innovator does that, like that sexy mystery, innovators are all about discovery. So when you kill the discovery channel, which is like when someone's a little bit mysterious or a whole lot, it like it can really kill the attraction. But there is no real cultural space for innovators to be like, I wanna have a companion but not live with them ever, or have a third space that we share or something like that. What about the authority you call the attacher? Yeah, so they do want that kind of secure attachment
Starting point is 00:14:36 at a certain point, because they get exhausted by too many changes. Even if you are in a living apart together as an authority, it's like That's just what you're doing authorities are more literal loyal, they're like Innovators are about the future authorities the past they want to build a legacy They want you know, even if you do it your own way
Starting point is 00:14:59 it's still like these are the agreements and the rules and the expectations and the ground rules and the boundaries. And so everything is more defined for authorities. And that's what allows you to relax and be more free and open. What about the mavens? The mavens are just talk, talk, talk, all about communication. Like, you know, they wanna talk about
Starting point is 00:15:20 what they're gonna do, what they're doing while they're doing it, what you just did when you finished doing it. Mirrors. They're just like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you know, you gotta be into that and touch and explore and experiment. Mavens rule the present. They're touchy, they're exploratory, they're curious, they're everything.
Starting point is 00:15:40 How do they pursue their sex life? So you get, you know, you get this one size fits all advice for like, well, you need to talk in the bed, you know, like, and you know, that some people like that, some people don't. Are there any signs that are more kinkier or explorative or experimental? I would say like, how would an innovator be kinky? How would an authority and how would it be, you know, the innovator would just like, it would just probably just happen like,
Starting point is 00:16:06 oh, I never thought I was gonna do that. And all of a sudden I'm having a threesome, you know? And then a maven would be like, have some elaborate, I always wanted to try kind of this. An authority that would be like an entire historical period costume, like elaborate scene that would be planned probably for them Okay, how do you know which areas to lean into and which ones to pull back on if it's all evenly split?
Starting point is 00:16:34 Well, I think I think for you and for the the people that have a more even split like you get You can play in the different one You can be like which one do I want to lean into now? Like I think you should always know like at the end of the day you are an authority you can play in the different one. You can be like, which one do I wanna lean into now? I think you should always know, at the end of the day, you are an authority, so you will probably, after a certain point, wanna know where something's going, right?
Starting point is 00:16:55 Yeah. You're not gonna wanna leave it open-ended forever. No. Or be with someone who's in an ambiguous, not quite divorce sort of setup. That wouldn't be your jam for more than like you might play with that on a vacation as an innovator or a maven, but when you're really looking to,
Starting point is 00:17:16 but you would probably need a person who knows how to be traditional, but also freaky. Couples could just take this for free tonight. And you actually spell it out for people, how they could work together, right? In your book. Absolutely. And I think it makes it more fun.
Starting point is 00:17:31 Be like, okay, this is how we are, right? It gives them a little bit more roadmap. And if you don't like something or you're not, because I think sometimes people get shamed for not being experimental enough in some cases. You know, that happens too. Like, oh, I should be more. All the time.
Starting point is 00:17:47 Mm-hmm. Well, honestly, I wish I knew this 20 years ago because all the time, my partner wants to be more explorative or kinkier. What do I do? I get these asks every day and I should just be like, well, you could start by figuring out your charts. You could start by figuring out the I am method, right?
Starting point is 00:18:01 Because in a way, that's just who they are. But so much a relationship is like is is just doing this deeper work of compromise and understanding, you know, maybe you're not as explorative, but sometimes you could be and they could give you what you want. But a lot of times, just the people say, I'm just not that and I always say, okay, but if you're not that exploring, or you're not kinky, then what are you? Right. Or maybe they just hear the word exploratory or kinky. And a whole world of associations opens up that That's it.
Starting point is 00:18:31 isn't even accurate. Like it's like, you know, like, oh, I'm supposed to change my nature and be that way. Like, no, actually like exploring could just mean like changing a location or something. Like they don't even know what the options are because we just Full-stop shut down
Starting point is 00:18:51 Because we hear something like I'm gonna fail at that. I'm not gonna be good at that They're gonna I'm gonna beat someone's you know story over drinks with her girlfriends or guy talk And everyone's gonna know what I was like and I'm gonna be humiliated for not, so I'm only going to play in the safe zone. Okay, so maybe we should walk through my chart then, so through I am and see how it plays out in my chart so everyone listening can understand how they can interpret theirs. There's 13 points in the system. So for you, four are innovator, five are authority, and four are maven. So you're one of the people that are a little more balanced. When we do this extended chart where we add the elements in that we call the IM diagram, you are the earth authority, the provider. So
Starting point is 00:19:46 in your spread of these things, you are no fire, six earth, three air, and four water. I got to get more fire. What does that mean? So it, so fire means kind of like action oriented and motivated. Sometimes if you have none, you'll like actually overcompensate and be the person that takes all the risks and lights the match first. But like, accidentally starts a wild fire the minute they light a match.
Starting point is 00:20:19 So it's like, you may not have a whole lot of balance, but if you're low or don't have any fire, it can you probably do need a team to keep you moving ahead and burning. Right. That's it. That's what the team's all about. You feel more confident doing that when you have people behind you. The heavy earth to the your provider. So Earth is like the material resources.
Starting point is 00:20:44 You really like security, stability, and you have a long running show here. Like you like to find something, become a master of it. That's also very authority-ish. Three, air. So like kind of in the middle, air is spreading the message. It's a little bit lower, but you have a marketing director for that.
Starting point is 00:21:03 And then four, water, which is decently high, and that makes you empathic and creative. So I would say that you would prefer to be in a setting where you can just, you know, take your expertise, empathically share it with people. You don't have to be the person running around. Fire also likes to run around and do all the things. Like you're like, oh, thank you. You're not the producer here of your own show.
Starting point is 00:21:28 No, I am not. I hate that. Terrible job for me. Terrible job. But if you sit down and just tune in, you start to channel and really connect with people. So you're doing everything as you should. And then in the I am, you're for innovator, five authority and four maven. So your highest authority, meaning that you're, if you had to draw a straw between like starting a whole new venture,
Starting point is 00:21:57 which would be innovator, marketing the venture, which would be maven or being the expert and having everybody else do that other stuff that's authority you would take being the expert. So does that track for you? That does track for me. That took me a long time in my career to get here. You know, I'm heading into my 20th year of doing this podcast and you know, at the beginning of any startup, exactly. But at any, you know, it took me a long time of doing everything and thinking I should be able to do it all. But it's not until I really realized that I could have a team that
Starting point is 00:22:29 supports me in really every other area. So I could be the best authority that I could be and help people. That's really what I love doing, empathically sharing, connecting to people. And everything else is just not my jam as much. So that completely resonates. You are, yeah. And imagine if you had had this calculator in that 20 year journey and you realize that about yourself sooner. So that's my real goal.
Starting point is 00:22:54 That's what I was gonna say, which I had 20 years ago. This will really give people, yeah, permission probably to lean into what they already know or what have you seen? Absolutely, permission. And like people are really carrying around a lot of shame and feeling like, you know, they're hiding like, oh God, I am like we joke about the Maven mess. Mavens have piles of things, but they have a method to their madness.
Starting point is 00:23:19 But they're shamed for not having the perfect, you know, wicker basket system, a la Martha Stewart living in the early aughts or whatever. Like we, we still have these standards that people are quietly expected to live up, whether we impose it on ourselves or just, it's just what we see. And people don't operate that way. They don't fit into these little boxes, but there's a part of us that thinks that we're supposed to. So when you do this and you get that cosmic permission to be who you are, again, it doesn't mean you're like, well, maybe it's not like, well, I'm a maven. I'm just going to make bigger messes. You're going to be like, okay, that is a tendency. I'm going to take the shame out of it and maybe find a way of
Starting point is 00:24:01 not being as messy because it's not serving my highest goals. That's a different place to come. Yeah, it is, but I love the shame part of it because I have to say why this gives me such a sigh of relief is that I have held a lot of shame around not being able to do things that seemingly should be easy for me, like the organization, the planning. I think again, it's a sigh of relief to say,
Starting point is 00:24:24 okay, this is like, well, I can't really change this, right? You can't, this is, You can change it in a way that you can change it over time through learning, but not like changing your wiring. Like, and also like there are better questions you can ask yourself besides, can I change this? For example, like, why am I procrastinating? You know, getting curious. I'm an innovator, so I'm always thinking about these kinds of things. Like, well, why would an authority procrastinate? Authorities really do best when they stay in the lane they're in. Like, it doesn't mean you can't drive in multiple lanes, but you're not a lane crosser when you're doing something. So you're probably, what's underneath the procrastination is like, you don't feel prepared.
Starting point is 00:25:07 You don't give enough research or data because authorities, the credibility is everything in order to maintain the role. A maven might procrastinate because they need to talk about it. Mavens are very interactive and they need like a brainstorming session. So like, instead of like fighting what's happening within you, go like, and they need like a brainstorming session.
Starting point is 00:25:25 So like, instead of like fighting what's happening within you go like, ah, why? This is make it right instead of making it wrong. And then you have these tools to use. So much of life is about how do you improve yourself? How do you work on your weaknesses to turn them into strengths? And this is more like, this is who you are.
Starting point is 00:25:43 This is your cosmic roadmap. This is your cosmic roadmap. This is your personality. Really go towards your strengths. Would you say that's your philosophy? Absolutely know your strengths and always have them. But sometimes like, for example, you're eight maven marketing director, right? Like sometimes that's too much of a good thing.
Starting point is 00:26:01 So we in the book have a part that we jokingly call astro Ayurveda where it's like balance out. If you know that you're really high, you're really low, you might consciously then add what you don't have. Or okay, if you're really high maven, you might be really full on, everything is the biggest deal, the most epic thing ever. And then you're like, all right, not everybody can really gel with that. So it might be one of those things where like, maybe I need to dial that down for that person
Starting point is 00:26:33 who's super high authority. I also love that you started the, that you talked about the shame thing because we are launching this, this membership and it's a membership for people to, it's a community of people to come and talk about what's holding them back sexually, how to communicate about their needs and how to really, like I said, build their own sexual dating owner's manual. It's called Smart SX and I know you're also going to be doing some stuff for that today, but I just love this
Starting point is 00:27:07 because this is like another tool. And then there's like a community aspect where people are going to actually find a community of people that can help them and safety because it helps with the shame, right? Like the antidote to shame is like speaking your truth, right? I want to ask also, what about the gender differences with the IM system? Do certain genders experience it differently? Does that matter? I think that it's all a spectrum and continuous.
Starting point is 00:27:34 I certainly don't need to tell you that, but I think that the things we've learned or inherited learning from gender roles and cultural ones will intersect with this. You know, like a male authority might express authority-ness in, you know, in the way that a male conditioning would have them. If they're not conscious about, yeah, if they're not conscious that they're doing that, they might be like, well, I know better, you know? Like if I want to get a little personal here, which I might, I had my, I had my partner ish, sort of an ex, but we're still share some things together. We're figuring it out, but I am an authority as we know. And my ex is an authority
Starting point is 00:28:25 And I can't remember what else we found. Okay, so this special friend of yours is Only has one water planet, which is one of the ones you're high in He has five air which is one of the ones you're low in and he's two six five. So he's also low. He's lower on innovator, higher on Maven and he's, he's an authority, but he's pretty close authority in Maven. But low on water is like not as empathic, maybe thin skinned and oversensitive at times and insensitive at other times. Or just like, you know, the water, you're just maybe not ever fully emotionally gelling, right?
Starting point is 00:29:15 Yeah. And yet you're both authority. So it's like the bird in the hand or the devil, you know, is sometimes a good one to hook up with. What are some great case studies that you could tell me about about how companies or relationships have shifted? Maybe relationships if you work with couples. What are some ways you couples use this information to really re-integrate their relationship? Well what's happening with couples these days is just that both partners usually have very full lives, schedules, existing communities.
Starting point is 00:29:48 They maybe have kids from other people. They're just, you know, they are these, it's not like one plus one equals two anymore. It's one plus one equals three or zero. So it's like if you're not thinking, if you're not making each other's lives amplified and better, then it's almost like, why am I doing this? So like relationships I say are going through a giant iOS update right now and their function and purpose is unclear. It's certainly not what it was back in the day. We needed each other for survival, Maureen. I believe we're in the age of Aquarius, which is about choice, not like survival. So it's harder to find, just like we expect everything customized to us. Unfortunately, we're expecting other people to customize themselves to our preferences and we forget that it's not Grubhub,
Starting point is 00:30:54 it's another person. I wish it was Grubhub. I wish we could just order it up. I wish. I know. But that's a great point what you're saying because I've run into that too in my own relationships that I've said one plus one has to equal three these days we have to be compatible in work life play we got all we bring stuff to the table to amplify we had a reality dating show on Amazon Prime called Cosmic Love a couple of years ago and we had a cast of 20 people, four main characters
Starting point is 00:31:25 that each had four matches, and we had to match them up astrologically. And one of the weeks we did the composite chart, and that was the week that blew a lot of their minds because they were so like, I'm an Aquarius, she's a Libra, blah, blah, blah, are we? But then it's like, well, this is what you come together as. And it really shifted people out together. We're a Taurus. We are here to do this. I think it gives
Starting point is 00:31:52 people see, we almost need an art if I don't want to call it artificial, but a self generated focus. Like we used to come together back in the day for a family, for legacy, for this. There was a reason that people put up with the hell of other people, right, sometimes, for a common goal. So when you do the composite chart, you get that common goal. Oh, we're here to build this. It's really inspiring.
Starting point is 00:32:19 I could see that being very inspiring for people and sort of a reminder of why they came together in the first place. Yeah, because it's so easy to forget now. Yeah, it's like a business plan or a cosmic plan for your relationship. But what do you see in astrology right now as the future of marriage and partnership according to astrology? I love that question. What's going on? We have to realize it's not what it was anymore. I mean, there's what, a 70% of work? Like we have to realize that there are higher odds
Starting point is 00:32:51 in our favor of so many other things than marriage. It's like, we have to look at it as a choice and have to also understand that we are evolving so quickly. Our consciousnesses, our preferences, our society, like to think that you're going to be able to stay in sync with someone when your life, like you can be a new person when you wake up tomorrow and reinvent yourself. So we have to understand that we're not playing on the same ball field here anymore, but people do need each other and we have to just be willing to try new
Starting point is 00:33:27 tools. What we're looking for is still sort of based in the past paradigm. But now we're seeing that we really need more. And so are different things, different kinds of partners. Some people are looking for that. A lot of them are sororities or mavens that want to compete. But even the ones that are, it's like wanting it and keeping it going are still two worlds apart. So what your work can do is really help people keep it. If the honeymoon is going to end and it's going to end a lot faster than you think. We all have choices.
Starting point is 00:34:03 And we can all make it work for us if we give ourselves permission to actually do the work and explore what kind of relationship we want. I'm always saying it's not one size fits all. That's a lot of what our membership is about as well. Our Smart of Sex membership will be a lot about giving people permission to explore and figure out what kind of relationship they want, what kind of sex life they want. Because a lot of times we don't feel like we have permission,
Starting point is 00:34:27 right? We don't even know what's available. People don't even know that such a roadmap could exist or is possible for them. Like, whoa, I have these choices. They're so afraid of sex. We're afraid of astrology or spirit, any deeper exploration beyond just like the face
Starting point is 00:34:45 they show the world. That it's like, you're just like denying yourself all these options. So true. I was thinking about how astrology and sex are so taboo in many ways and very misunderstood, but yet they can really deepen the richness of our lives so much. We really understand it, right? I was thinking that when I was reading your book, I was like, oh, I'm always spending a lot of time trying to tell people initially too, like, no,
Starting point is 00:35:09 sex can be, it's not just what you think. It's not just penetration, it's connections, intimacy. Hear me out. Like, it could be different than what you thought. Sun signs, penetration, yes. All the things, there's just so much more to it. And I just want people to, yeah, feel safe and know we can explore and life can get a lot, lot better from here for sure. Oh my God, I love that so much more to it. And I just want people to feel safe and know we can explore and life can get a lot better from here for sure. Oh my god, I love that so much. I love that all of your work and
Starting point is 00:35:31 all of your dozens of books. How many have you written now? 21, going on 22. Oh my god. Well, congratulations on all this. I just love the work that you and your sister are doing. You have so much wisdom and you really are doing such an incredible service, whether people are looking for a partner to increase their productivity or have more love in their life, less conflict. So everybody has to get your book. It's out now, The Astrology Advantage, and you can follow the astrotrends to discover your inner innovator or authority or Maven. And hear them on our membership too, Smart SX. We're doing a special session with you
Starting point is 00:36:12 and that's gonna be, the membership comes out on September 10th, right when this is released. Perfect. Now, anything else we can know about you or where to follow you? Yeah, follow us on Instagram at AstroTwins. Come do your IAM archetype at astrostyle.com slash I am. Get the book, read all about it,
Starting point is 00:36:30 but come and share which one you are. Thank you for being here. So appreciate you, Elvie. Thank you. That's it for today's episode. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and be sure to like, subscribe, and give us a review wherever you listen to the podcast and share this with a friend or a partner.
Starting point is 00:36:48 You can find me on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter, or X, and Facebook. It's all at Sex with Emily. Oh, and I've been told I give really good email. So sign up on SexwithEmily.com and while you're there, check out my free guides and articles for more ways to prioritize your pleasure. And if you'd like to ask me about your sex life, dating, or relationships, call my hotline 559-TALK-SEX. That's 559-825-5739 or just go to SexWithEmily.com slash Ask Emily. Was it good for you? Email me, feedback at SexWithEmily.com.

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