Sex With Emily - Awkward, Single & Ready to Mingle with Fred Stoller

Episode Date: October 28, 2015

On today’s show, Emily welcomes comedian, actor and author of “Maybe We’ll Have You Back: The Life of a Perennial T.V. Guest Star,” Fred Stoller, to the studio. He, Emily and Menace talk about sex, dating and the funnier things in life, and discuss what it’s really like to be always the bridesmaid, never the bride. In between jokes and hilarious anecdotes, Fred shares some of his dating anxieties, makes sexual confessions and teaches us what he’s learned about cultivating your self-confidence with the opposite sex. He also assists Emily in answering some of your emails on threesomes, office flirtations and getting rid of your “V card” for good. If you’ve ever felt too awkward to date, or insecure in the world of sex and relationships, this show is here to give you hope, or at least someone to laugh along with. Don’t miss it! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Today we've got comedian Fred Stolar in the studio. You may know him from, well, just about everything. But today we're given this actor, comedian, author, his moment in the spotlight to talk sex, dating, and the funnier things in life. Okay, I know I've been talking lately about my Sibian, but I'm ready to really get into it. I'm really gonna tell you about how this thing is gonna change your life. You may think you know all about the Sibian, but forget-wave you, please forget what you've heard about it, because it's so different than any other sex product you've seen before. In fact, it's so much more than just a sex toy.

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that experience to sex with your partner. The way you move, you know, you can figure out what feels good. Oh, and if I mentioned how hot it is for your partner to watch you play with it Listen to this testimonial from a civilian website from a user my husband I have been married for 17 years and I always thought our sex life was okay But I didn't get too excited about it my first time on the civilian I can hardly describe the feeling I had my body just exploded. It was unreal. What happened to me?

I soon realized at the age of 38, with Sibian, I had my first orgasm ever. I've now started having orgasms while making love to my husband, and I have Sibian to thank. Shelly from Texas. So to hear what other happy customers have to say about their sex life changing Sibian, or to order your customized Sibian today, visit Sibian.com. And as as a special treat for sex the Emmy listeners get $75 off your first order. That's Emily 75 at Sibian.com s-y-b-i-a-n dot com. Thanks for listening. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mark our sacred institutions. Bit-roof eyes, they call them in a bygone way. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend?

Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It's drinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I feel so proud. Being bad feels pretty good. What do you mean like laundry? It's drinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I feel so grown up. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between.

For more information, go to sexwithemily.com. Check out our new website. You're going to love it. Rock our new website. Because it's awesome. Send it for mailing list. Check out all the contents. It's going to be so much easier to find 10 years of content now on a new site.

You'll love it, right, Menace? Of course. I'm so glad you're here. Happy birthday yesterday. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, thanks. She's. Dude, I'm scared.

I'm scared. I'm scared. Dude, what are we gonna do? Uh, we are gonna party. Party? Like crazy, yeah. I don't know. I'm gonna do something.

I'm gonna party. I'm gonna party. I'm gonna party. Dude, what happened? Take me to Boa. The nice steakhouse. Dude, I will. Seriously? I'm just kidding, no.

You don't want to go to do that. No, no, I do, I do. Wanna go to a movie? I wanna hang out. No, not a movie, because you'll talk to her at the entire time. Okay, enough of that. So today, our friend Stolars here,

he's probably in everything you've ever seen. I know. Friends, everybody loves Raymond's Scrubs, Hannah Montana, my name is Earl, and he talks about being kind of middle-level comedian, you're sort of a pretty book about, the title is, maybe we'll have you back. You know, the funny life,

the life of a perennial TV guest star. Like, it was like minute two. So, he's in the command. And also, once I saw Fred, I recognized him right away. I know that guy. Yeah, hi Fred. Come on, hi.

Sit down. Everyone knows Fred. Right? I don't know. Hi Fred,, you don't know me? Hi, Fred. This is menace. This is menace. Yes, what's your name? Menace. Just like menace and society. That's his like, great name, but that's like his real name, his mom called him. Wow. Have you performed in San Francisco? I swear I've seen you. You do stand up? We lived in San Francisco. Yeah, you live there now. I moved here about a year and a half ago. Wow, God. It's allowed me.

Stand up. You would have been like a little kid when I did stand up. Yeah, I took a long break. Then sort of came back and I'm somebody retiring again from stand up. Okay. You can't dabble. You got to really hang out at clubs and be aggressive and stuff, but I did it like I think Cubs in 88, wow when Robin Williams would come in and another guy

passed away, Warren Thomas, excuse me, would come in. So this was by the pier. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, that's what is the comic club? Yeah, Cubs. Yeah, it. Oh yeah, that's what is the comic club? Yeah, I remember that I was you know when I was doing stand my act was very low key and settle hey Stanley and and wherever I'd go they'd switch me with the middle you're not high energy enough and people would always

apologize oh this is just you know Baltimore or this Sacramento, but then when I started not killing with you can't say Boston or San Francisco, they're just haze seeds. But that one was a lot of tourists. The, um, Oh yeah, it's all tourists. So it wasn't, uh, yeah, I'm blaming my didn't do well. Oh, no. So what have you been in so many shows? I mean, that's your book. Thank you. Maybe we're just talking about it for you. But maybe we'll have you back the. I mean, that's your book. Thank you. Maybe we're just talking on it for you, but maybe we'll have you back the life of a perennial TV guest star. Fred's dog. That's what I hope they say. Yeah, they say what on your tombstone, or what? Don't when I do a show or with a woman. I mean, we'll have you back. Yes. You know.

We all hope that. Maybe. Yeah, you just hope for a maybe because they can't promise when you're a guest star guy because this regular set of contracts and big millions but you just hope you heard it or people a lot of them say to each other when my first show is on I heard one guy go well I'm the male man they always need male maybe they'll bring me back or I was at the diner I wanted to eliminate I could be the guy that eats the lemonade. So we just want babies to keep us going. But do you even believe the maybe sometimes? Because you're like, I guess you want to hear it,

but then I always feel like they're not going to be like, but good job to it. It's kind of like, I'll call you. Yeah, yeah, you're still, my analogy is like being a foster kid going from show to show, hoping one keeps me on. Right, and what was the first show you're on? That was a million years ago. No one heard of it called singer in Suns about a Jewish deli. And that's where I first heard them say, I had the fruit salad. Maybe I could be the

guy known as the fruit salad. I was the uncle. I'm related. And didn't that relay saying for the next 20-something years, I'd be the desperate guy hoping I'm a cousin. My joke I did, I was the cousin on Raymond, the difference between the cousin and the brother, $77 million. Right, exactly. And I looked more like Raymond than Brett Garrett did. So yeah, so when the first, I did A-Man,

these are the first shows where I was a biker, a skinnier than this, and the joke where I was a biker. I was skinnier than this. And the joke was I wore a tank top and it was an motorcycle jacket threatening people. Oh, maybe I could be back to ras people. So you just try to bring the hope up in your own head. But yeah, you try not to get too, people think I'm negative.

You just learn to be cautiously optimistic. Exactly. Really excited when something, People think I'm negative. You just learn to be cautiously optimistic. That's right. Real excited when something, the thing I learned about women or with career, it's only something if it's something. This is, you know, I'm not like you an expert, a relationship person, but the advice I give people into myself, whatever a guy or girl is analyzing, she said this, but then the email said this, if you're analyzing, it's not there. When it's there, do you agree with this?

You won't be analyzing? Yes, when something's there, you don't have to break down everything. You just know. I think it's just a waste of time, the time that I agree. My friends and I, we sit around analyzing text, people sort of texting all the time. We'll be passing back, what did this mean? What did this mean? I'm like, do you realize with all the time

we spent analyzing what this means, we could like have the cure for cancer right now? Right, but I'm just waste of our goddamn time. Like I said, the few successes I've had with women is when they give you a look, like you're giving me, no, I'm just kidding. Now, look in the eye, like I get a kick in this guy, I encourage you, you sort of know,

whenever I'm trying to be like, John Q. sack and say anything, I'll be charming or John cry, you know what, I'm not saying. Whenever I'm trying, this is another thing I learned, you know how I got, you know how you get a woman to like you? How? She has to like you. Yeah, it's true.

You can't do it, you can't. No, you show up. That's the right car or the right, and you get that up. No, it's something, I'm the same Fred, either I could be to some women like Brad Pitt but very little or hinkly a serial killer. You know I'm saying the same essence that whenever you're trying to analyze, you know, I mean, it's sort of like auditions like you show up

you're the guy or not. And so I learned the same thing analyzing an audition. Should I not have said this should I come like that? Right, you can't do yourself up. You do the, as long as you know that you do do the best you can. But you just show me myself up because I went through it in an entertainment I get it you saw a rejection but no one tells you that when you're starting I get first you have to learn that like it's okay. But you know my friend who wrote on Raymond for nine years said when you walk you walk through the door you're the guy or not. I'm not gonna be a Southern racist in a, you know, some gritty, you know, and noir, you know, like,

whatever the show, Bosh, a gritty crime thing, the intense detective, I just exude skinny kind of Jewish in New York, I. So it's what you walk through, you know, you're not gonna be a bus driver on a show, you know, you just, you know what I'm saying? It's just you're the guy a girl or not. It's not so getting comfortable with, yeah, knowing who you are too, going in with show, you know, you just, you know what I'm saying? It's just, you're the guy a girl or not. It's just getting comfortable with, yeah,

knowing who you are too. Right. Going in with the, you know, confidence that kills you. I give you really, I always give you, like, your life work should be cultivating confidence. It will help you in everywhere, you know. But you know what's something, I learn with me that you,

or you're confident because you're confident, you can't fake it, you know what I You know, when people don't be desperate, that's when you're not desperate. Right, exactly. I mean, really, you can't fake it, but the thing that makes you not confident is worrying that you're not confident. Right, right, right.

And I think that part of life and living is that you learn to become, you learn to accept yourself and you learn to become your authentic self and accepting you for the job that you are. I'm just getting to that, just a little. It's a life, it's an acceptance. It's a life that's true. Oh, right? Yeah, well, I want to get into, after being on TV, do you just get access to, you know, women constantly? I don't know. They're like, oh, I know

you. Well, I get, I know you, but not constant women.. I just, I'm sure it's beneficial. Well, yes and no because it's, I've never been an accountant or a sex therapist so I've nothing to compare my success with women with, you know what I mean, and I'm a show business thing. But, excuse me, in one way it's kind of thwarted. Is that the right word? Or I don't want to be politically retarded, and which is the real way to use it, my sense of social.

Like your perception, it's hard to read signs, right? Well, for example, for any guy though. Well, well, because like when I used to just stand up comedy, I was pathologically shy and depressed. It made no sense I was a stand up comic, because most of my rights, I'm surprised.

Right, but I was never funny. I see, when I started, I didn't, I didn't want to, I was in a class clown. I just went into it because I knew I was a weirdo. I wanted to be a character actor, but I didn't know how you did that. So it's not like now it is YouTube and you see, you know, all the groundlings. The only way I heard is, oh Jimmy Walker Freddie Prince, they did their act at a place

of the improv. And then you get on the tonight show, then you get to be in a sitcom. So I went, oh, I see a way to do that. I just got to be in the improv and you're in the sitcom. So I fantasized being under tonight's show going, this is just my second time doing standup. I thought every night, there's people at the improv. I have some confidence just to get to the input.

I mean, so. Well, that's a thing. People don't understand. They go, why are you sure? You've gotten in front of people. But when I did standup, again, I said, just do it once. My head was down,

I didn't look at the audience. And that became my act by accident because I couldn't look at the audience, I made nooses with the mic. I did these weird non-sequitre one-liners things, my mother would say, this is true, I'm using the word again, but this is true. When I quit college to try to be a comedian,

my mother could understand it because her generation just, you know, body hack it. She goes, I don't know how I'm going to tell people you're a comic. I'm going to say retarded. That was easy to explain. There's something wrong with Freddie. He lies in bed. And there's something wrong with them.

She couldn't say I was a comedian. So basically I just said I just have to do it once so So basically with my social life I Would just hope someone came up to me. So I never knew what most of my adult life had to try to talk to someone You hope they break the ice so you just kind of just waited out. Yeah, I would stand I would stand at the improv waiting for the whole audience to come out and just, uh, but usually they're couples or, uh, or they go, hey, you look familiar, but they're not going, you look familiar, let's go to bed or anything. No, never. So, man, just once there would, there has to be sometimes you into bed because there has to be some access. But you went to bed. Yeah. You know, I, you've got your, your

Kathy Griffin story. Yes, yes. She didn't see me do my act. She was at a party. And she just, we had a date. And this is what I like. I like to be bludgeoned. I don't know how to make a move. When I was a virgin when I started stand up, I was a virgin until I was 21. Again, I didn't know what you're supposed to do.

What do you put your eye? I wasn't going to do anything. I didn't know what you're supposed to do. What do you put your eye? I wasn't gonna do anything. I didn't know you got it or apartment. You put their arm around. So I wanted a Guarantee that that'd be sex. So take me an hour to muster the courage Listen a lot of people have fear in that and I used to but I guess when I was in high school I used to wish you know we all had magic, you know like movies missions. I used to wish, you know, we all had magic, you know, like movies, missions. I used to wish that whatever woman liked me, ESP, with like light up red or something, I guess I guess want guarantees. Yes, so yeah, that's what I've been saying on the show for years. I like, I wish women would take more Initiation. They do, I think they do. I think nowadays.

Now, not that they do. Not that they do, but what I think I finally learned is I'm not one of these guys that has rules. Guys do this. Guys like to remote women do this. But I think it's more up to a woman. Meaning anytime I try to charm someone or quote unquote work them, nothing. But a woman, the few successes I've had had they just give you a look like a retracted to you what have they make it easy I think that's what I think I don't know the expert yeah no I think I've here more definitely more guys camping in the signs though with we talked about there have been studies

that say that men really just can't oftentimes read the signs from a woman they like them and how many guys have like been like your hair years later, they run into their high school crush or college crush. And she's like, I love you the whole time. He's like, well, I didn't, I know. So I think there is a lot of that. Maybe I, like I said, I need to be bludgeoning. I need, I need, and the time,

and the times I've had success with physical stuff, with, you wanna say sex on the show? Yeah, you can. Yeah say sex on the show? Yeah, you're just kidding. Is he look like this guy serious? We're gonna bleep it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We are maybe, I've had where it was 100% I kind of knew that there was an attraction.

So, how did you know? Would you feel? I can, you know it, You just again, look like, you know, the questions back. Yeah. She's giving you a Felatio and they're like, oh, she wants to suck my penis.

Yeah, she might be a demon. You kind of know, but then again, I have been wrong. So what am I talking about? Oh, she seems like she's flirting there from the south. Yeah, I'm sure. So I don't know what I'm talking about. Kathy Griffin,

I went to her apartment and we're trying to decide, should we go out to eat? Should I see it? Should we see a movie? Then she goes, I'm wet. So that gave me the confidence. There you go. So maybe I've been looking for that.

She wasn't like there's something leaking. She was like, no, no, no. She told me she was wet. Well, gave me the confidence to start kissing. And you know, and so we, in the apartment, I didn't think we had to go on a date when they're wet before the date. Right, I have down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was, we were doing stuff and I, she had just seen a TV movie about a woman that batters men and she wanted to hit me in the face because she doesn't like men.

She would say she has hastily towards men and she goes, I don't like men. I go, why? She goes, they rape, they go to strip clubs and they see porno and I said, kidding, I only do two out of three of those. Right. And, uh, and, uh, and, uh, yeah, well, she wanted to hit me and I had, I was assaulted. I have TMJ ligament damage in my face. I said, geez,

hitting wouldn't be a good idea. Maybe the right item. Right. And, uh, but I didn't want to be hit. I don't know, you know, good for standing up for yourself. Yeah. Yeah. So she was weird and she was with her in general. Yeah, like you're like I'm out, I don't do the hitting. Well, I have to confess something.

Okay, you can do this here. Okay, that's all right. Again, all right, I'm not a sleazy guy at all. I never, when I was a comedian, I don't read sleaze from... No, no, no, no, but I never could like follow waitresses around, hey, what are you doing? You know, I could probably get laid

and I can't manipulate. There's a lot of guys, they sit at Starbucks and they'll see a woman on a laptop and they go, hey, you're trying to write things. I could be a fixer guy. You know, I could never, I'll do you one woman's show. I'll do it. You know, I can never like a be a fix it guy, you know, I can never I'll do you one woman show I'll do it You know I can never pretend to be a blowhard to pretend to be an expert to try to you know I mean be the guy that they'll you'll write my show. I probably you know I run in Seinfeld's

I could probably of so I'm giving myself credit for not being sleazy that way. I never manipulate But if someone's available, I've gunned things I'm not proud of. Meaning, when I really know this is bad, maybe I've had sex one last time, you know what I mean? And then you just don't call them? What do you mean? No, I'm not spiteful, not calm. What are you talking about? What do you mean, no, but what you're saying you have sex with someone okay, what I mean is um

You know you know this is sad. You know This is not gonna be something she's hostile It's weird. Oh, but you had one more opportunity for sex Everyone does that yeah There was one woman I knew it was bad because she put kidding around but trying to warn me a knife to her cat's throat. Oh, yeah. And I should have walked out then but we did one last time even though you know, I've done things like that. But she was trying to show

she was going she thought the cat was going out or you just want the other lady in the hall because you want the hot chick the next hot chick. I was saying cats don't know if a woman is hot or not and she goes you better not stray and I think was trying to show me don't stray. Oh my god we need to get you up with some some healthier. Yeah I mean that don't put knives to cats throughout. I don't think that sounds like a good start. But first I just need to talk about one thing here. And we'll get back to knives and your dangerous dating habits. Yeah.

I need to talk about it. Oh, no, I didn't want to, if we get back to the story, there's one woman made it, though I think they're women themselves available sexually and I didn't do it. There's been a lot. All right. I've been smart.

Dude, I don't think it's bad. I gotta talk about chagolactar sizes right now. Has nothing to do with you about? He gets cut and secure that I was cutting off it's bad I got to talk about that. I got to talk about Tegal exercises right now. I have something to do with you about Okay, he gets got insecure that I was cutting off your story But I got to talk about Kegal exercises for one month. Okay. Do you know what they are? I learned by listening to your podcast Yes, I'm listening you you're very sweet and what thought I was scared going on it's some people freak me out Dr. Juice wife so oh you look oh

Because she was saying she goes, you're gonna go and sex with Emily, you would anal sex and so I thought is one of these podcasts. Who do you like three sims and yeah, but you're very sweet and it's nurturing and it's not I've been on some podcast where I don't like myself when I'm trying to hard to show. Hey, I talk a lot and I've gotten sex so you don't do that on my sister's. Right. The game I always say is like the racy as part of this. Yeah, I talk a lot and I got in sex so you don't do that on the next stage. No one, right? The theme, I always say is like the raciest part of this. Yeah, definitely.

Yes. But gagal exercises are very important for your pelvic floor. Pavic floor straight for men and for women. But I'm going to talk about women now for a moment because for women, like we'll do exercises like sore abs look good and arms look good and our asses look good. But we don't think about our pelvic floor because no one's really seeing it. But when our pelvic floor isn't strong, we have urinary incontinence,

it means that we sneeze and we pee. I know that. We have that too, well there's something for men too. We can talk about that. Do your caluacterizes. I have an iPhone app called Kegel Camp and it helps you with that, but this product, there's a product now that,

because you only do them five minutes a day, traffic light, it's the pee stopping muscles, but nobody remembers to do them. So this is for women, I'm sorry, but it's day traffic light. It's the pee-stopping muscles, but nobody remembers to do them. So this is for women, I'm sorry, but it's called the intensity and it does your kegel exercises for you. It looks like a, it's actually part vibrator, part health device.

And I use it every day because it's like kind of my relaxing Zen time. I really do, my house, I lean back and I don't have to do it. It stimulates those muscles. So for like five to 10 minutes a day, it takes all the confusion out of cagul exercises because most people just do it with them.

Most people do them wrong and it targets your G-spot and your clitoris while you're doing it. So you've like orgasms and you've stronger cagul muscles, pelvic floor, which means you have stronger orgasms all around. If you've never had an orgasm, it can have you that way. It also just helps women like with after childbirth, you're gonna get all this stuff. So it's very important about pelvic floor that is

strong because over time it will add to the feeling it could get very ugly. So it's tight or two. A lot of women worry about being telling you, a lot of women worry that they're not tight enough. So intensity can prove in, has been proven to tighten until in your pelvic floor muscles and people call it the only intimate health product every woman needs and you can find it at pormaw.com that's P-O-U-R-M-O-I.com and we did a great show, a great review if I do this as a mizov, we did a great review review of it called Sex Tour Review Intense and Implugged. We also had a blog about it if you want to learn more, go to poorma.com,

p-o-u-r-m-o-i.com. That's all, back to you. So how did you, I met you at Drew's Dr. Drew's book. Yes, yes. We bonded over how sweet he is, because he's tall. He, I have to be honest, I, before I met him, I wasn't a fan because of celebrity rehab. I thought, oh, he just tries to manipulate them.

And, uh, but he's done so many sweet things. He's so accessible. He really does care. I thought he was just a guy pretending to care about the celebrities from ratings. He's a great guy. And you, so at first I was intimidated thinking, I'm the Beverly Hills sex lady. I thought you were like, hey, me, please me, I'm the woman, I deserve things to the matrac, I don't know why.

And you, I thought, hey, give me the world, give me orgasms every second, I'm at hustler, I don't know. Check out my gigantic dildo. You know, and I was intimidated. I thought you were like royalty like you. You just seen you dress like a Kennedy. I don't know what I'm talking about.

I thought you were like a large man, woman kind of like Beverly. I'm the Beverly Hills Secretary. I didn't even put Beverly Hills. I don't know why he was sort of like I'm Yes, yes, so so then I thought you'd go who's this weird middle-aged Skinny guy talking to me, but we really bonded with Drew and I was a familiarity I have and yours beyond so cool and And I wasn't you know trying to get on the podcast, hey, you want to plug things in.

And you were, again, so then I started listing more. And you're not, yeah, you're not like, you know, a lot of these women in podcasting or side kicks try to amp it up the show. I wanted a guy, say, man, I could talk dirty. You know what I'm saying? You're genuine, you're really care. And you're not, you know, you're not doing that. So myself, I wouldn talk dirty. You know what I'm saying? You're genuine, you're really caring,

you're not doing that. So, kind of like myself, I wouldn't know how to be anything else, acting. I tried, I wasn't a movie once, it wasn't good. I'm just not, not because even I wanted to act. I'm saying I best to being myself. Well, it's great. And then all you do are yourself,

you probably realize this through standup as well. The more authentic, I mean, they say, with you, you might as well do it. Don't you feel like, it's gave you the conference also, the more you talk, the more you get accepted, like like, same with you, but it's doing better. Don't you feel like it's, it's gave you the conference also the more you talk, the more you get accepted, like you just are wherever you go. The authentic. The terrible actor, they can't act.

Well, I always play the nebish decide king, the hypochondrick, because I'm a real good actor. Exactly, well. Because I'm really the gritty guy from Suns of Manorkee, but I act and I act like a sad sack. No, it's just show up. You're good, you're doing well, you're good. You're doing well. I'm trying to do a the Suns of Manorkee, but I act and I act like a sad sack. No, it's just show up. You're doing a bunch of good, but you're doing a bunch of good,

a bunch of hot cast as well. Yeah, yeah, I have a, called the mild adventures of Fred Stoller, just I like character actors, like that all kinds of people, but I like people, I like talking to quirky people rather than George Clooney,

not that he's asking to be on it, but I like just the people, just every man. People stories, everyone's interesting, and they start a story. I hope my books is, but I like just the people, just every man. People stories, everyone's interesting, and it's got a story. I hope my books is, I'm like an every man. I've been on some shows, but I'm just a guy. That's what it's about, yeah. Trying to deal with my mother and where to go next and set myself

and just go to the next thing. So I like every man. How long have you been in Los Angeles? I've been here since 88. Yeah. I've been here forever. Yeah. Would you come from before? New York? I'm from Brooklyn and then I lived in Manhattan. Wow. Was it a big adjustment for you? Pretty much. Well, it's just it's just To me it was just freaking out because I Was in the comedy boom even though I didn't love being a standup, it was just a false comfort zone. I'm getting spots, I thought,

so then you come out here and when you're in New York, you always go, I haven't tried LA yet. Right. You know, and now here, it's like, where do I go next? This is so, so it's, it's just, it freaks you out and I see why there's so many functuaries and acting coaches and managers.

I'm not sure if everyone's looking for and managers. Everyone's looking for the answer. Everyone is looking for Guru. Everyone, you know, and so yeah, so there's a lot of people at pre-unvonable people. My book is a part about a manipulative acting coach that was ridiculous and freaking me out. That if I quit, I'll lose everything and go back to being a three-year-old. And I can't help it. So this, and I- And I find good people. That's a thing. A lot of people here will take advantage of you.

And I think that you just have to check in with yourself. Because if you're really looking for that, do you think that this person will save me? This person will save me and won't you realize? There's no magic solution. There is no magic. Like with, you know, you need a tooth fix. You know, you get the tooth, but it's it's nebulous. It's there's no answers

Had to be an actor you just stay in it you be my only my only Advice is if you're a writer writer. I'm stealing this from Stephen King and his great book about writing read every day and write every day That's true if you're an actor or a stand-up be with people at your level to share information I don't believe in stand-up comedy classes But maybe go and get oh this an open mic. Oh, you do this You know, I mean you need to be with people at your level to go you know to have like a little a networking things Not those networking parties, but so I freaked out. Yeah, it was like wow This is the end of the line. What happens now? And I leaned

on this woman who she set me up. I'm going to, oh, I want to hold you and make up for all the women that hurt you. And she set herself up to be my mother, my manager, my acting coach. Then she dumped me. She goes, I can't be a shrink to you. This is so one sided. So she set me up, you know, because I helped That's really unhealthy, yeah. And I became too needy when she set me up for that. So I did it when I first moved to LA. I was... We all make mistakes at the beginning. I had bad agents, bad, whatever, bad managers.

But you know, I want you to help us answer some email. Sure. Some people. I think you're too good to get more advice here for more people, more minds better. This is, okay, so everyone, thank you for emailing me feedback at sexwithendly.com. We love hearing from you.

Tell us where you live, what do we say? Where you from, how old are you? Yeah. All that crap. And how you listen to the podcast? How you listen to the podcast? iTunes, sexendly.com, Stitcher, all that stuff. All that stuff.

Okay, right. I'm a new listener, I dig the show. You provide useful insight to your listeners, and now I'm hoping you can give me some of the same. I'm in a situation, I'm not sure how to exit. I'm friends with a co-worker at work lately. It feels like she may like me more than she lets on. She always wants to hang out with me. She constantly skypes me at work and sometimes she will text me at home or over the weekend. I happen to think

she's very cute and funny and she's very sweet to me but here's the problem. We are both married. Done. Done. Done. I'm starting to feel really uncomfortable at how she treats me. I have other female friends, but they give me nowhere near the attention she does. I'm feeling I need to break up with her because I think it's causing some confusion for me. Like she has breakup and clothes. I can't have that clouding my judgment when it comes to my relationship. I'm just not sure how to do it. I don't want to point out her behavior that could get awkward for both of us. And if I just ignore her, she will obviously want to know why. I could just tell her that

she needs to stay away from me and put limits on our communication, but I'm not sure. I have the fortitude to be that I don't have the fortitude to be that callous. I don't want to be in this situation. Any advice? Thanks. Jay. Well, at least he answered he doesn't want to be in it. This is the thing. So I start reading this. I'm like, here's another douchebag. Now, you know, a lot of people at work, you meet people at work because they're at their best, right? We all want to be intellectually stimulated by someone,

we spend more time with people at work and I'm thinking, uh oh, but I love, I feel like he's the most married, honest married guy at work. Yeah, because a lot of guys, they're in denial or they like the flirting, but they're pretending it's innocuous. So he knows it's inappropriate. And I love that he checked in.

He's like, I feel that I'm crossing the line and I've got boundaries. And it was like, I thought I was going in the other direction. So I love that he's reckoned, let's give him props for recognizing the confusion. It's causing his marriage and the workplace can't be a breeding ground for this. My only concern was, it's tricky because when it comes to co-workers, it's like, he can't send her an email. Like he says, do I just break up with her? No. I think he just has to slowly, he has to modify his behavior and then she'll follow suit.

You know what? You don't respond. Don't be mean to her. Still be smile and maybe have a lunch, but when she starts that behavior, don't respond to it. You know it's another concern you may have. I have these neighbors that are always fighting because the wife picks up his iPhone and reads into why'd you give her Instagram likes? So I could Instagram.

Yeah, why'd you you Instagram like her but she's in a bikini or reading her emails of Facebook. I was him I'd be nervous that my wife would read into it. I know that's true. That's true. So he can't email it or anything. I think he just... Or even text, you'll see the text.

Yeah, yeah. I think it would be everything. I'd say my wife may be uncomfortable. Yeah, you have to make yourself less available. Just say, don't be so available. Don't text her back. And I don't know. At first, I was like, well, you can have a talk with her

and be like, listen, we're both married, but then you know, she could be like, I would just... But she can't have a freak out. I'm also confused because if she wants to flirt and stuff, they work together. You don't need to, if you sit here, you know, it's a little silly. I know, I know.

So he just got to pull back. I think it's mine. So we have a three-sem question because who doesn't love three-sem? Hey Emily, almost a year ago, I began dating an awesome girl. It started out as casual. We're having a great time and fantastic sex. And then drunkenly one evening.

She mentioned once having a threesome. That's all he needs to do. And that's never gonna get out of his self. This bonamata control. And then asked me if I wanted to do it. Naturally, I said yes, as I've always wanted to. Time went on and our relationship became quite serious. We're now very invested in each other.

My feelings for her grew. She continued teasing that three-way for months until finally admitting that she no longer wanted to go through with it due to potential feelings of jealousy. Ah! Check this, though. I've done my best to try and let it go, but I can't contain my resentment.

Of course. He has resentment now and envy and sheer disappointment in knowing that my girlfriend would make my dream come true for another guy that she knew before him Oh, she meant to him. Oh, I had it once and you want to at the beginning so she put the bait out there, right? So you know why what did he have that I don't he was probably just banging her every other way What what did I lose along the way to make her change her mind? Not wanting to hold our otherwise lovely relationship hostage over a three way, I feel my hands are tied.

I've tried bringing this all up to her before, but she's made me feel pretty bad about it. Change the subject. And I want to just get this out of my system. But the more serious our partnership becomes, the more I see this as an impossibility. She says, you know, it's harder for me to be a tractor and he's agonizing that she dangled the threesome carrot.

Oh, the gutter and love. Yeah. I don't even know. I think that they were together for a week and they were, she said they were drunk months ago and they started dating and she said, oh, I had a threesome once we tried it. But did he fall in love because of this possibility?

I think there was probably more than that. Right, right. But now, I think they've been, I think she said it once and then he kept thinking it was gonna happen Hopefully this guy's not just with her because of that, but she says no So it's guys number one's fantasy and she says in the heat of the moment But she's you know she's now into them so it's like and there is a relationship in some women the only reason you should have a three-some in a relationship is if you're both on board and you're like, and all the time you can, you know, tear your relationship apart.

You're just going to have to let it go, man. He's got to let it go. That's it. Yeah. Have you had a three-some? I had to think, not really. Yeah. I had an aborted three-some one.

Yeah. What kind of a few, but this one was a three-some? No, no, no, no. What counts as a three-reesome to other people in the room that you touch in a at the same time Maybe what happened a million years ago? I was with a woman and that was the story no I yeah, I am and your dog was in the room, but there was nothing known There was there was all there was a woman I was with and and then we did stuff This is my 20s. You know, and then her roommate came in and lied with us and then

She did something with me. She gave you blood up. Yeah, okay awesome the the the the The roommate, okay, so but it wasn't just three together. Not it doesn't care. Okay, got it. But it made me have reminisce about the getover. You got very close. Guy has got to let it go because in the heat of the moment, you know, that you know, when she wasn't as emotionally attached to him, she might have said, Oh, I had a threesome, but now they're together. So the good news, it's normal that he wants it and he's excited. The bad news, she's attached and a threesome

when you're into someone, you can get jealous and all these things can come up. So I think he's got two choices. He's got to just let it go out of his mind and just maybe they could do other things that will excite him in their relationship, like watch porn together or tie each other up, like maybe watch threesome porn or do something.

Let me ask you to do your fantasy. Like I said, I've never had a three-some, but women, what's their jealousy factor with the third woman that's not in the relationship when they do it? Oh, because I mean, do they have jealous or they just don't care? I think it could be really a, well, okay, it's a case by case basis. There's some women who are, I mean, I think the rule of the three of them is if you're in a relationship and you want to do it, the woman has to be on board because typically,

it's another woman so she maybe has been wanting to try out, being with a woman, but the guy also gets, but it's not like, hey honey, go get with this woman. I'll just watch, sometimes that way. But typically he's also with the woman. So watching her partner who she loves have sex with a guy, well, it could, some women could get totally turned up but some women are like, could be so jealous. Like, they could think, guy. It's rough. Well, it could, someone who can get totally turned up,

but someone who like, could be so jealous. Like, they could think, oh, she's skinnier than me. He likes her more than me. He's going, he's doing, they look like they're making out in a way we never have. I mean, he can bring up extreme jealousy. Obviously, so you have, in thing with men too. So you have to be in a really, so much.

So I would say with this guy, my concern would be that, it may not get him out of his system if he likes it if they do it once You know what I mean? He may go hey, let's try it again, but she yeah, but she says she's on a board with it I'm saying but even if she did agree to just once. Oh, he might want a more more Yeah, that off of that often can happen But I think he's obsessing on the wrong thing. It sounds to me. He says we're in a healthy relationship It's stable, but I'm obsessing so either you choose not to obsess in the channel that energy into expanding your sex life elsewhere or you got to break out, you know, you're, he's kind of sabotaging in a way. And you're not going to get a woman to do anything

especially sexual by begging her and bringing her. Yeah, and then if you, I don't know, even if you break up over this, that's kind of lame. It is. You know, I just got to let it go. He sounds like like that like he's got like an O-O-Sus if they go in, and if you really love her, there's a way you can kind of go back and challenge that and re- you know, re-conoiter. Okay. Yeah. So, do we have time for- Do one more.

Okay, we do one more. Alright. Okay, we'll talk about here. We've got a few options. You thought about being a virgin? Yeah. Oh, well, you said that you were a virgin. I was a virgin till I was 20. So this is great for you. Sure. Okay. How to lose your v card. Emily, my name is Zachary. I'm an 18 year old man from Louisiana. I'm still a virgin. I've been listening to your podcast on my my podcast. I my podcast iPad app for a few days. Your advice is amazing. Like I said, I'm a virgin and I feel it's time

to lose my V-card ASAP. Can you please tell me how to approach girls for casual sex and how to attract a woman? Thanks, your podcasts are great. PS, hi menace. Hello. Zachary. A few people are asking questions ever.

He's never had sex before, but he wants to have just start having a casual sex. Why don't we start with sex? Zach? Yeah, casual sex. She is. you start with sex? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, casual sex. She is. It's cute. People are too important.

They're like, oh, when can I have a gang bang? I want to have sex for the first time and then have to visit at 18. Yeah, right. Exactly. So I might think, you know, first of all, guys who are virgins, a lot of women, they worry they have to, I get it, you obsessed and I can do it right.

Is it going to be hard? You know, you can't really, you can plan for it. But it's not like you're going to be perfect the first time and there is no perfect because I'm sure you obsessed and I can do it right is it gonna be hard you know you can't really you can plan for it But it's not like you're gonna be perfect the first time and there is no perfect because I'm sure you're gonna be with someone who's fairly new at sex as well So make sure that you first of all have condoms Say sex and I would say to you guys practice. Do you ever practice putting condoms on before you sex? No, okay, that's a good thing to do Definitely not about that But happy Griffin I tried with a condom and So I don't know if we had sex cuz I have a lot of times like you don't know

Well big I pushed and pushed and it didn't stay hard, you know I have problems with some some women it goes right in with the condom some it's hard You push and push so then of a sudden some, some it's hard, you push and push. So then, some are going, it's okay, they go, come on. You know, do it again, try. So, so, so, so. It's a coach. Yeah, so sometimes, you know, with the condoms,

it's hard for me to let's stop. Condoms can do that for people too, but maybe it's the wrong condoms. Yeah, probably. You know, there's a lot of great condoms out there. People like the condoms, but I love skin condoms kind of. Yeah, probably. There's a lot of great condoms out there. People like the condoms. But I love skin condoms, SKYN. They are not latex.

They're probably isoprene. They're thinner than most condoms, but they're still strong. They can't. They're made, I recommend a lot of people on one's like, oh my god, it's like you're not really, like you're wearing nothing at all. They're like slogan, but it actually works. What would you say, Menace? First time, do you remember, can you think back to that time last year when you had an

incident? I know, sexace, first time? Do you remember, can you think back to that time last year when you had an incident? I know, sex for the first time. No, well, first I think, I mean, to have sex for the first time, I think you really need to practice on just talking to a woman, you know. I used to say this, I haven't said it a long time on the podcast where every woman you meet,

you don't have to be hitting on them, just practice talking to them. So when you do find the person that you would want to have sex with, that you're very comfortable in talking to a person in general. Right. I can have women friends, right? Because you're not going to go from like being a mute to having sex. Right.

You definitely going to have to talk them into it. And again, I've always said on the show, if a woman's not into you, nothing physically is ever gonna happen to you. You're not gonna die. Right, if she were Jackson, like, you know, you don't die from Jackson, right? It's all in, yeah.

I mean, you die inside a little bit. You know, your feelings might be hurt if a woman is not into you, but it's always like in numbers game too, you know. Eventually, you're gonna find that person that you like and they like you back. And then eventually you wanna dissect them. That's so sweet.

When they just, like as a given that look, or you don't have to work them like you think in the movies, they just, yeah. And you don't have to put on this whole show. Yeah. Exactly. So I think he's just yak-wag. Yeah, or you have Tinder, you know,

apparently that's just a low job. I'm just monitoring. It is a blue jump, that you've lost that. Yeah. So I'm in trouble. I get it before he or I lose my head. That was gross. What's the difference with your Tinder and Grinder? I don't know any more stuff.

So Grinder's the gay one. Tinder is the just open meat market. What does the mean go, hey, I want to mess with you? It's like, no. I'll show you. I mean, I'm not really, I market. What does it mean, go, hey, I want to mess with you? It's like, no, well, I'll show you. I mean, I'm not really, I'm not actively on it. But I've had my Tinder dailions. Actually, I had my one blind, I had Tinder date

on the show, I had a blind Tinder date. Yeah, no, it's basically. It was a much better on the air than it was in real, I mean, my mom. Yeah, basically, you just open your phone and then I'll show you like all the women that are like attracted to you, it attracted you within a certain mile radius, apparently, right?

Right, right. And then also there's another one. You should be sure to change your having my miles, you wouldn't need it. Yeah, I'm not on Tinder. But why is it more just casual sex? If people say it is you can choose, is that like if you go on a date with someone,

you have to bang them. Apparently though, everyone is just, just hooking up off this thing. Right. So, I guess I would recommend it, too. Yeah, I mean, the thing thing is actually there's a really interesting article my friend sent me. Did you see Madison sent some of them sent this to me? It breaks down all of the different dating sites. So if you want like okay, Cupid is for like

hipsters, hanging on bar like match.com, like you pay for Christian Mingles obviously for Christian, you know, Tinder. I mean, I'm gonna post on the website. I heard if you go to farmersonly.com, you're just gonna get lazy. Because if you get farmers, yeah, exactly. But let's go to the website. But I wanna say Zach is that he's got to stay calm. Okay, sound like like that, you know, just like don't obsess about it.

But stay calm, hopefully you're in a state with someone that you're with someone that you already calm. You know, when I was a virgin till 21, I really, I thought it was more realistic. I'd be on a show like Happy Days. I had no self-esteem. I thought it was more realistic. I'd be on a show like Happy Days. I had no self-esteem. I thought I was going to make it in common as a in show business more than

I thought I'd ever be with a woman. I had so little self-esteem and... Handsome, good looking. But I was really, really, really skinny. When I was in high school, skinny wasn't like a brooding anime to Rory, it was like really, see I just out the ugliest girl because I thought if she rejected me all of them would. I didn't think I thought and she goes you're too skinny maybe if you gain 15 pounds. So I thought I didn't, I went for the bottom and I thought if she's too skinny so basically I just a lot of issues but it's all good. No, no, no, no self-esteem, like a stick figure.

And so basically, yeah, so it stayed with me. And then when I started wanting to be in an act, I thought that was more. So I remember my therapist was saying, you're definitely gonna have sex. He goes, I could even write a prescription for you. I guarantee you'll have sex. But I really, what I'm trying to say

is to give them reassurance. You think when you are an adolescent and have no self-esteem, it's never going to happen. It's going to happen. Yeah. I didn't know. I know you even just had to start talking. So I was thinking I had all these tips. I didn't have sex. He just wants to know how to start approaching girls. He might hate to get, but how do you start talking to him? And like we said, it just how to attract women, be yourself. Don't overthink it and literally talk to women wherever you go.

And if you're waiting in line for Starbucks, if you're at the bus, if you're even women, you're not attracted to, just guys too, practice the art of conversation. And don't ask, yes, no questions, make observations, if you're standing outside, what are people, do they always think of Starbucks? What else do people do, where they're together?

Everyone's on their goddamn phones. But you know, you can be like, ah, have you, when do you think they brought the pumpkin spice lots about something to ask a question? Start a thing and like observe something, maybe comp them, something she's wearing, be very specific, ask a question that's not a yes, no. And engage something, but not in a creepy way.

You can just observe something that's happening. And it's all around you. Well, is there any interacting with people that have a common ground? Oh, Mrs. Franklstein's math teacher, I don't know. You know what I mean? So it's not as hard if he's not trying to talk with those friends.

Do you think this test would be as hard as the last time? Right. I heard it, if it did, just start talking. And it is an art and it is a skill. Like learning to talk to people and feel comfortable is not something that we're all born with. Like I think we all have a lot of us have an awkward eye, but it came out of the womb talking. I have other issues, but for a lot of people, essentially, men, they have the fear of rejection.

They think that there's the perfect thing to say and we talked about this early on. So it's like, just be, it's your safety. These 18, be yourself and practice talking to women. And how do you tractor you attract her is if the more authentic you are the more real you are and they'll don't be creepy My biggest thing I go what's your name where you're from and I can guarantee you when they say where they're from I Can say something about You know, right? You know all these like weird facts about everywhere about like you know, something about these like, we're facts about everywhere. About like, you know, the state that they're from or the city or something like that.

And very rare that I have absolutely nothing to say. And then the conversation to snowballs from there. That's good. It's so easy. Which name were you from? What was the best? Have you ever said something to a woman that like changed the game and next thing, you know?

You were. Ah, I like I said, I, again, I'm not good at working people. Like I said, with the audition, so with the women, they just, like I said, it's just an essence, it's almost predetermined the trash. And so it's never really like, oh, who's this weird guy? And I say, wait a minute, come back here. You know what I mean?

It's just an essence, yes, a connection. I never really, no woman was ever looking at me then I did a joke and then, wait, come back here. Hey, what's your name again? So I think it's, wait, it's like, it's almost predetermined. I also think though for men and for women, I always think of like, we all have friends that we feel really comfortable with, right?

Like when you're with your guy friends, your family, there's certain, we all have people that were just like, totally ourselves, we let all hang out. And I think like for guys and for women, think of channel that, next time you're hanging out, be like, what am I like with like, observe yourself, next time you're just hanging out with your best friends, what am I doing now?

Why am I so comfortable? And then think about who that person is and then bring that person out. Well, you know, sometimes I'll be at a party and I'm talking to a woman, and in my head I'm trying too hard, I'm trying too hard. And I know when I'm doing that mantra, it means it's over.

It's just, it's not there. I know when I'm trying too hard, I know when there's, if there's something not there, it's not there and it doesn't work. Okay, well, I'm gonna go backwards right now because I'm gonna do, I'm gonna do a sex in the news story that I really wanted to do. All right.

Usually we do sex in the news and then we do emails, but I would like to do this. All right. Italy rules, it's not illegal to masturbate on your lunch break. I just wanted to get you to be back about this. That's all right, and when's your lunch, I'm just kidding. Exactly.

So Italians make great food. They seem like happy, sensual people. So much so they believe that a man and woman are so happy. There's so many bad jokes at restaurants. I mean, I'll shut up. Right. No, like, coaxie don't want, no, I mean, yeah, I'm just like, where's my waiter?

Sorry. Yes, yes, we don't want to go to Italy. You're my boss. You just get off his lunch break. Yeah, right? Because his guy, it was, um, it went to the Supreme Court. So they're saying it doesn't impair your job. Yeah, exactly.

But who's fighting for this? Wait, wait, wait. OK, why don't we pay attention, people? All right, wait. OK, well, I'm going to pay attention, people. All right, sure. OK, they believe that in Italy, man, woman, sexual, or just are natural things don't deny them, embrace them. Everyone in Italy shares this ethos. It's ingrained in the country all the way up to the Supreme

Court. Last, they said this is weak. It's fine for employees to watch porn on their lunch break since it doesn't care with their job in Italy. No, but I'm saying we're in the office. I don't know. I want to work in Peter's office. I once had a kinky fantasy involving this.

Oh, fantasy. You should type it. Well, okay. We will in a minute. It does not. Okay, the case stems from a man who was fired from Fiat after he was caught watching pornography during his lunch break. He sued in the case went to the high court and bosses had caught the man watching adult films at work, but he argued that his viewing was limited to catching

a glimpse of a movie during his lunch break. But we would sit in the cafeteria or in his office. Yeah, was it on a work computer? See, it's car salesman and he had it on his desk. It does indicate the porn at the porn ruling at the court of castation marked the end of a five year legal battle for the man Identified as just just sepizzi who's by the time it's over. He's middle ages. I want to mess Yeah, he's supported by the local court

It says Italian edition of the local reported as there was no evidence presented by fiat that the man had indulged His porn habit during normal working hours because he would have his lunch break. He did nothing wrong so he you know whatever so it wrong. So he, you know, whatever. So it says, it looks great, you know, why don't we all live there? I mean, I think this is the last thing that men need though is to actually be encouraged that it's okay to have watch porn during. I just thought you all, like that.

I just think that, you know, since we need permission. And this guy just needed that. Why would he like masturbating in his own is a porn thing during work. I think that's ridiculous. That's right, I just want to though. Why would he like masturbating in his own is a porn thing during work? I think it's ridiculous. I just want to say but if he was on his own phone having a lunch break and doing it then fine. If you guys would like to um to leave you and go masturbate I guess it's yeah feel free. I want to just encourage you. Wait, wait, I'm confused. So in his

own office with the doors shut. Yeah, you can masturbate. So that's a deal. I don't know. I just wanted to talk about Italy. Okay. I talked about Italian masturbation. Madison's back. She had a walk of dog who almost peed. All right. So we're all done here, Fred. You're awesome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That was it. Nothing, nothing scary. Yeah, you made it. You survived. She said, your friend of mine said, do you Emily's going to make you talk about anal stuff? She goes, I can't picture you on that show. She go, what? I said, no anal penetration. Yeah.

She goes, I can't picture you on that show. What are you gonna talk about about anal sex? I thought it's just beads and pouring candles on stuff. She knows, she's hilarious. Okay, so Fred, everyone can find you. We have your, okay, buy your book. Maybe we'll have you back. It's a great story, you're a great writer about your,

like, start, but I think I can relate to back. It's a great story. You're a great writer about your like- Thank you so much. I think a lot of you can relate to this. Relatable and they should buy it on your web, where do you want people to go? We're at Amazon, wherever a bookstore is on. We have our stores on your website's Fredstolar.net and you're at Fred underscore stroller on Twitter.

And you're gonna link all this on. All the store websites, yeah, because everything is on my website too. Great, great. We've got to show. You're awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. And I'm gonna have to notice that you know a contest for Sibian, I'm Great, great. So show, you're awesome. Thank you. Thank you so much. And I have to notice is a contest for Sibian,

I'm giving way to Sibian, which is awesome. Also, I think we're having our year anniversary party, our 10 year anniversary, so the podcast is minus December 6th. Just knew it's coming to you. December 6th, can you do it? December 6th, I can find it. We just found out before the show.

December 6th, people email me feedback at sexwithelm.com and also, yeah, just check me out, check all this out, check my Twitter Instagram. I love you all. Thank you Madison. Thanks everyone for listening. Thank you. It was a good for you. Email me feedback at sexwithm.com. Okay, guys, I'm going to tell you about fleshlight, which is the number one sex toy for men. And it's probably the only one you want. So let me tell you about it. It's a male masturbation sleep. And I know you're thinking, I've got my hand. Why do I need anything else? I'm sure your hand works fine, but we talked a lot about toys in the show. If you could feel something that actually felt like

sex, but not like your hand, but just as amazing and you had mind-blowing orgasms, doesn't make you curious? Don't you want to try it? I think you should try it at the flashlight. It is a crowd pleaser. Not one guy and I know a lot of you bought it. It wasn't the show I've ever said like I want to return my flashlight. It sucked or like oh my god where's the flashlight been in my whole life. So check it out. If you want to last longer and bad like our earlier color they have a stamina training unit that can have you do that and they also have the new flight which is smaller but and lighter but it does not necessarily mean for smaller penises. So don't be upset if you buy that one.

Doesn't mean you have small penis. Check it out. Go to sexathamie.com, click on the flashlight banner, and use code Emily and you get a free bottle of the award-winning flashlight. You know, I've been talking to you about my candles for a while now, my Emily and Tony candles. And if you have not tried them yet, or if you don't even know what how a massage candle is, they are amazing, truly.

And it's not just because they have my name on them, but the truth is I had tried massage candles before, and they were like, okay, I love the concept of a massage candle. I love the fact that a regular candle, you can pour it on your partner and give a massage. That's all great. But the other ones that existed, I just felt kind of like sticky and didn't make you feel good, didn't smell good, and so I made these candles that are like vegan, except for the beeswax part, but they're coconut oil and soybean oil. They smell amazing, and they feel amazing.

And the feedback for my listeners have been great, like people, because I have been able to change your life and I got a listener who just emailed me and said, my girlfriend was skeptical at first, but a great try, the warm oil on me first and gave me a back rub, then I was separated and we had amazing sex.

She can not stop talking about how good the candle smells and how great the massage oil feels. And I'm convinced that the scent and the candle helped us through some of our barriers to sex we face lately. Now you can get a full size Emily Toady candle for $28. We just, we're having special right now. I'm excited for Emily Toady's.

For the whole day. And I think you could, Emily still, and you get a percentage of, super, nice day. It's good for Thanksgiving coming up. Okay everyone, yeah, it's good for Thanksgiving. Just put it on the table with the turkey. Totally and that everyone gives a massage there afterwards.

My family all said are on one Thanksgiving and watch the Kim Kardashian Sucks video. Oh, I thought it was gonna be your mom's sex video that she put out. Oh my god dude, we're gonna talk about it. Okay everyone, so thanks for listening and check out the candles.