Sex With Emily - Baby-Making Facts & Holistic Hacks with Denise Wiesner

Episode Date: August 21, 2019

On today’s show, Emily is joined by certified sex coach, clinic director of Natural Healing & Acupuncture, & author of the new book “Conceiving with Love” Denise Wiesner to share her holistic approach on all things you should & shouldn’t do while trying to have a baby. They give you tips on ways to have hot baby-making sex, how using Chinese medicine like herbs, acupuncture, & diet can help when trying to conceive, as well as natural & holistic hacks that heighten your senses & stimulate sex.  Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: pjur, Zumio, Womanizer, SiriusXM, Emily’s Subscription Box. Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemily For even more sex talk, tips, & tricks visit sexwithemily.com For more information on Denise Wiesner, click HERE.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In Chinese medicine, it's about heart and reproductive organs. That's the basic thing. There's an extra vessel in Chinese medicine that connects our heart to our reproductive organs. It's the liver, energy, and Chinese medicine opens to the eyes, so visually looking at your partner, kissing the heart opens to the tongue, so really making out the tongue. Looking out, again, like you used to. Yeah, it goes into the uterus. It's connected It's like this idea

So it's really about moving energy, right? So Dow's practices are about connecting Part and uterus and connecting energies so we're circulating our energies and we're circulating our energies with our partner Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily on today's show I'm joined by certified sex coach Coach, Clinic Director of Natural Healing and Accupuncture, and author of the new book Conceiving with Love, Denise Weasner. All things you should and shouldn't do will try to have a baby. Topics include Sex is supposed to be hot, but why does baby making tend to get so technical? Well, we give you tips to keep it sexy.

How using Chinese medicine like herbs, acupuncture, and diet can help when trying to conceive. Press massages and aromatherapy, I mean, it already sounds good, but why you should try it to get aroused. And natural and holistic hacks that heighten your senses and stimulate sex. All this and more, thanks for listening. I just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got to ever stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. I'm so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between.

For more information check out sexwithemily.com. Check out our podcast. We released three weeks. So wherever you listen to podcasts, check them out. And you can find us on all social media across the board. It's at Sex with Emily. You can also find me Monday through Friday on Series Sex and Radio. It's on stars channel 109 from five to seven

pound Pacific for even more awesome sex talk. You can also get a free trial at sexwithemily.com slash S X M. All right guys, I hope you enjoy this interview with Denise Weasner. And remember, even if you're not trying to conceive, there's a lot of great tips in here for you. All right, I'm very excited to welcome my guest today. Denise Weisner, she's a traditional Chinese medicine specialist, certified sex coach.

She's a clinical director of natural healing and acupuncture, an author of the new book Conceiving with Love. She's over 25 years of practice, including yoga, acupuncture, and tantra. Here's a thing. She's helped thousands of people reconnect and ultimately conceive, like get pregnant and have the baby. Like that has worked. She's thousands of couples.

That's amazing. Her methods have improved for couples using both Western medicine and those trying to conceive naturally. And when she's not working or teaching or writing, she plays guitar. She practice yoga, she dance. I feel like she's dance.

Or she walked in and I'm like, we should we twirl around. I'm spending time with Noah and Ethan, her two sons. So welcome to this show. Congratulations on your book and I want to say one more thing before I let you talk. It's not like that though, you can actually talk. But I'm not like a dictator.

But what I loved about your book is even if you're just one time now that even if you're like, well, I'm not ready to conceive or I don't have kids, I thought that your book was so such practical information for women and for couples just trying to connect and understand their sex lives. And it was like a lot of the tips that I give but with like different spins on it and just really well written and well done.

So I just think, I don't know, if you couple sex, you want to prove your sex life, you want to get through trauma, you want to understand East meets West sexuality practices. It's well done. Hello Denise. Hi, thank you so much. Hi, I'm so excited to have you here. And thank you for interviewing me for the book.

It's when we met. We had a friendship affair on Skype and then we decided we were gonna be friends but she lives on the other side of the highway but we're gonna figure it out. Yes, we are. And welcome. So let's talk about sex around pregnancy in general.

Can we just start there? I get so many questions for people. They're like the second you decide to get pregnant, sex is not fun anymore. Because clock is ticking. Why does it become so unsexy when we're trying to conceive? What happens? I think there's a lot of pressure for women, right? Because I have this little window where they're ovulating.

And I think also in today's society, people are so busy, right? Everyone's so stressed out and they're working a lot. And sometimes the timing is like, you just come home from work and you're tired, and this is the one window you have, and then the husband comes home and he's tired, and you're like, oh my gosh, we have to do this thing now, and people just don't, it becomes pressure and stressful.

It is stressful, so what do you tell people to do about that? To kind of, I know there's a whole process, but what would you tell them? I kind of think it's important to have regular intimacy, right? I mean, it sort of starts in the morning. It's not just thinking of like, okay, come home, put it on. I think we have to sort of have regular sex all the time, but in conceiving with love,

I talk a lot about like sort of setting the stage and doing things different and there's this whole four-play section. Let's talk about your four-play section. It's my favorite. As long as we're starting the section now, let's this whole four-play section. Let's talk about your four-play section. It's my favorite. As long as we're starting this section now, let's start with four-play. It's kind of like, I have so many things to do, but I have this fung shway where I talk about like setting the room.

You know, like where it makes it more intimate. Sometimes like, you know, there's like clutter, like my room. I love that. I folded back the page here on that. You did? The bedroom. Yeah, because I think it's so great. Let's talk about it. People don't think about it. It matters your room.

Right. You know, if you have electronics in the bedroom, how many couples come home at night and they're like, oh my God, I got to send one more email. Oh my God, what did they say on the computer? And their electronics follow them into the bedroom. Right. And so it's sort of the rule of no electronics in the bedroom. And they also find that electronics don't do well with sperm.

Like, you know what? Right. That's huge. Yeah. electronics in the bedroom, and they also find that electronics don't too well with sperm. Right. That's huge. If there's another reason, yeah, get the phone, and just like, you just give good tips for like the colors of the room and like how to make it. That's what I was saying. You really get into depth on a lot of the things that you're like concepts that I've talked about for anybody, like even myself, I'm single, like making my bedroom really sexy right now.

So it's like make the colors that you should have and taking the electronics out of the room. I think your bedroom should be for sleeping and for sex. So like tell me about your typical like woman who comes to you and what happens like is there a typical woman who comes to you and says I'm ready to conceive, help me, or I've been trying. Yeah. I do. I have a lot of couples that come to me

and women that come to me. And sometimes it looks like I've been trying. Yeah. I have a lot of couples that come to me and women that come to me. And sometimes it looks like I've had three failed IVFs and I don't know what to do and I'm desperate kind of and I really help me conceive. I heard Chinese medicine helps. And at that point they've been doing so much medication and so much timed intercourse and ejaculation in a cup that those couples are really like sometimes that they bring the husband in. He kind of, we talk about sex and the husband is like, you know, they all sort of freeze

and nobody wants to talk because they're not having any sex because they've been doing all these, there's just sex is equated with failed IVFs, really, and failed fertility. So that's one. And then I also have people that are trying naturally that just really want to get help and they don't know what to do and they don't know what to eat and they don't know like just the first thing about being healthy to conceive So those are kind of my two groups. So let's talk about Chinese medicine how that plays a role as well Everything that you do is acupuncture and also you give them herbs. Yeah. Yeah. I just kind of with Chinese medicine looks at the whole body So I would evaluate them and look at what's going on with their emotional life

What's going on with their emotional life, what's going on with their digestion, their sleep, all their habits, what's their cervical fluid like? Sometimes women don't even know that they're supposed to have this certain special cervical fluid during all the ovulation window, and they never check themselves. And just kind of like the whole body, and then I deal with what's out of balance, and I might do acupuncture, in and I might do acupuncture In fact, I mostly do acupuncture Chinese herbs nutrition talk about like foods that might be you know Let's say I have a patient who it runs really hot like really super super hot all the time I might cool them down or are a woman who's like cold all the time which is more typical

Freezing and they're eating like ice cold, and they're eating salads and raw food. I might change their diet so that they, we say, have a warm uterus. So they have more blood flow. So it just depends on what's going on. You check them each time they come in, like you check their blood pressure, you check what do you do when they come in their tongue.

Yeah, we look at their tongue and check their pulse and kind of look at their whole body. I mean, I just had a woman come to me and she was having really bad menstrual pain and she had these darkest circles under her eyes and that's a sign of, we say kidney deficiency in Chinese medicine, which is sort of like kidneys, water energy is about reproduction.

So it's like, ooh, that energy's not doing well. What's going on? It turns out she wasn't sleeping a lot, but we look at signs and symptoms of the whole body. How do you figure all of that out? Are you doing blood work and you're doing everything? Yeah, a lot of times things that don't get diagnosed, like for example, a woman could be really cold and tired

and she's just not really getting a period. I would maybe do a blood test and look at her hormones or a thyroid could be a culprit. Most of the time when people come to me they've had those tests done already, but if they don't I would like to see blood tests. It's really the marriage of Western and Eastern, right, together. So how did you get into this? I know you had your own fertility journey. Yeah. So we're going to talk about that. Yeah.

Well, I had one child and I found out when I was pregnant with my first one that I was a carrier of TASAX, which is a genetic disorder in the baby, it's fatal. And I found out when I was pregnant with my first one that I was a carrier of TASAX, which is a genetic disorder in the baby it's fatal. And I found out actually my husband was a carrier. And I was like, oh, I'm not a carrier. Everything's going to be fine. And then in the beginning of my pregnancy, I found that I was a carrier. So we had to go through the testing of the baby and it turned out my first was okay. So that was this whole sort of root awakening. And then I had a couple miscarriages and had the out my first was okay. So that was this whole sort of rude awakening. And then I had a couple of miscarriages and had the bait he was okay.

But I had miscarriages and I thought I was really healthy and I didn't understand and no one checked my thyroid and I went to like three different acupuncturists and a naturopath and nobody was really marrying the Western and Eastern, right? They kept wanting to deal with my lungs and my breathing. And so I ended up really trying to figure out what was going on for me. And then I was trying to conceive my second, and I was like, the same thing. I was this mad woman kind of trying to get my

husband to like, I'm ovulating honey as the cervical mucus was coming out on the toilet, and I was like yelling for him like, hey, it's time, completely unsexy. And sort of just thought there was a huge need to talk about sexuality, intimacy, fertility, and Mary that all of them together. So most people aren't like, if it's traditional, what's going on? People don't blend the Eastern.

They're typical journeys, they're gonna go to their Western doctor, they're gonna say I've been trying to conceive, and then maybe they'll offer IVF, or they'll say, I mean, I just feel like it's so limiting right now. It usually as you go to your doctor, and depending on your blood test and your age, there's a little bit of a fear factor, right?

Like, oh no, you should start, you know, your levels don't look great, oh no, your ovarian reserve is low, a lot of women in their 40s will tell me, based on blood tests, and women get into a huge panic, which we know is really not good for fertility, because it takes all the blood away from the reproductive organs and sends it into the fight-flight freeze mode. Right.

Oh no, oh no, fear. Oh my gosh. So Western doctors like OBGYNs offer up like clomid usually, and a lot of my patients will be starting clomid and hoping that they get pregnant with an insemination. Or they might do some test more testing, to make sure the tubes are open and the uterus looks, the anatomy of the uterus looks okay. So they'll be testing and then sometimes it'll come to me at that point.

It's good to have some tests. I mean, it's good to see. But do you think that we still, there's still a place for that, right? Or would you recommend they do all that, the Clomet, and would you say tri-acupuncture first and try your, you know? It kind of depends on the age, right? Yeah.

It's of a woman's like 30, 30 years old, and you know, like yeah, it's nice to see, but you know, you can try for a year with, you know, and try natural stuff for a year without having to go to the doctor, and that's what the doctors say. So I think it's good to just try, wait, depend on your age.

If you're 40, maybe it's better to sort of get a little bit checked out, make sure that we're not, you know, the sperm is okay, right? Like, right. Well, also, how come we don't check the sperm as much as we check women? Maybe they, that's happening more now, but I feel like I have to tell my friends

that he got this, because he checked it when they're like, we beat ourselves up, something's wrong with me and then sure enough. Gosh, I'm seeing more and more male fertility right now in fertility. That's why. What do you think that's about?

Maybe environment, I'm not really sure, but a lot of men undiagnosed, like they have low, very low, low sperm counts and nobody knows why. And I treat a lot of those. Nobody knows why.

And you can treat them as well. So you're treating men and women to get safer to get. Yes, both men and women. That's amazing. How about with women? Are you noticing women are having lower fertility now too? I think women wait a little bit longer. So there's lower fertility as we age. And there's a lot of panic around it. So, you know, if I think about like my grandmother, I think she and her 40s had, you know, like, oopsie baby. Yeah, my grandma and her brother

were like 12 years apart, right? I think those at that time, women were having babies in their 40s, but nowadays, like, you know, women turns 40 and she has a huge panic that she won't conceive. So maybe it's age and working and environment. And then you're not telling emotional and all that stuff. Yeah, all that stuff. So what are some steps so that you would say like better chances that people can take to get better, there's just some basics if people are like,

like what shouldn't we do? What should we do? What are like, what are like 101? I think, okay, we shouldn't smoke. Right, don't smoke. How about vape? Vape being no, it's not good. Vape being second and okay, even cannabis.

Like cannabis slows down sperm and defreases men's testosterone. I've heard this too. Yeah, so that's a big thing here in California, right? It's legal. It's everywhere. Yeah, so that's not good for fertility. So it's for men and for women.

For men and we don't know so much women. What about for women? What about getting us in the mood for sex? I know. I think it's good to, I'm not sure we don't know about it, but if it's not good for sperm, it can't be good for eggs because that's true. That's true. So don't get high.

Don't smoke cigarettes. So taking all the fun out of it, right? That's fine, you can do that. You can do that for a while, right? What else? Stress, I think it's a huge thing, right? The more we are fearful and panicked, the blood goes away from our reproductive organs

and goes to, to do the fight fight freeze, right? So stress is like a big one, getting women to relax, to really do yoga, meditate, eat well, right? But I feel like the fear factor is huge because women get really panicky and then they're anxious and then it's like, honey, let's do it now. And I think- Well, that whole thing happened,

and then it's just not sexy. And that's why I'm always like saying, make it sexy throughout. Do things that, you know, do things that you, this is a great time to do a lot of the tips if you've been listening to the show that I tell you to do Get some toys play some games go on vacation Even for a night getting out of the same bedroom like doing something different and Don't make it all about your clock ticking or you're you're ovulating and if you know you're ovulating them Plan something fun for that night not just like alarms going off, get home from work.

Like, yeah. Even though we're all busy, I know. I totally agree, but you know what happens sometimes for men that I'm seeing is that men under pressure don't always perform. And that's what I see in my clinic, that there's like, you know, it's this time and men have to like do it this one time

because they're not having regular sex, that they all of a sudden it's pressure on them and they can't get an erection. I've heard that too. So what do you tell them that me really? It's really just about sleeping well, meditation, and breathing. Don't you feel that that's just… Yeah, I'm just all about the problem.

I've heard of the problem. Literally a wood, and it does. I mean, truly, we are all so friggin' stressed out. I feel like, okay, so we talked about the, is there a diet dough that you recommend? Is it, or is it different for everybody? I think it's best to, it's different for everybody, but there are some basic things like, you know,

stay away from refined foods, don't drink a lot of caffeine, or don't try to really limit caffeine, don't have a lot of sugar, don't have any sugar. No sugar. No sugar, and there's a whole thing. No milk duds. No milk duds. She was looking at my mouth duds here. I love milk duds. Okay, from No sugar. And there's a whole thing. No milk does. No milk. She's looking at my mouth. I love milk. That's okay. From that Chinese pregnant. Not fertile friendly.

And eat foods as grown. Eat whole foods as grown. Probably, you know, I have vegetarian patients and you know, I, there's a lot of reasons people are vegan and I wouldn't say that's bad, but it's good to get enough protein. Yeah, so meats are okay. Yeah, yeah, grass fed. Yeah, grass fed. And eating foods is grown and limiting refined, maybe for a lot of people, dairy's, you know, huge inflammatory food, especially women with PCOS, like really dairy's not good. Okay.

So eliminating dairy and sugars and, you know, and sometimes weed is very inflammatory. So So get all the tests figure out what you're yeah, I mean I generally would say like wheat dairy caffeine alcohol Alcohol not good Maybe occasionally, you know I like to use them the middle way. I hate to be like don't ever do this Because then everybody's like hugely stressed But just in general 80% to 90% of your diet should be like really good healthy fertile foods.

Put goji berries and a trail mix. Those are good for women. Let's goji berries. I always forget to get them. Yeah, they're really good. I love a goji berry. They're right. Okay, that's no to self.

Not trying to get pregnant again, but goji berries are good for everything that keep coming up. I feel like they do. Okay, so I know you work with Chinese medicine and Taoist practices as well as Western. So like, what are the differences that you, how would we even explain those practices to people?

How do you explain them? What is the difference? So, so Tantra is based on the sort of Hindu tradition and Tantra is like, oh, we get, it's so much. For the, I know. Tantra is like a big thing, you know, there's Neo Tantra. But really, it's really about opening up our connection and in Chinese medicine,

it's about heart and reproductive organs. Like that's the basic thing. There's an extra vessel in Chinese medicine that connects our heart to our reproductive organs. And it's sort of like the liver energy in Chinese medicine opens to the eyes. So visually looking at your partner, right? Kissing the heart opens to the tongue. So visually looking at your partner, right, kissing the heart opens to the tongue.

So really making out the tongue. Looking out, again, like you used to. Yeah, it goes into the uterus, it's connected. It's like this idea. So it's really about moving energy, right? So, Tao's practices are about connecting, you know, heart and uterus and connecting energies. So we're circulating our energies

and we're circulating our energies with our partner. So, you know, heart and uterus and connecting energies. So we're circulating our energies and we're circulating our energies with our partner. So, you know, it's just about being... To teach this practice though, I know you talk about it in the book too. Like, I feel like I tried it on the show. I've talked about it a bit and I've practiced it a little bit, but I do, I have felt that energy. Have you had sex?

That was sex with the connection and energy and the flow and with the ejaculation of that orgasm. I've done the ejaculation of that orgasm, but of course, I'm, you know, that was way back before I was trying to get pregnant. And so that's a whole debatable thing, but when we're talking about fertility, it's the opposite. It is the opposite. They actually, it's bringing the energy from, like, up top, you know, and bringing it through

the channels and bringing it out through ejaculating. During the fertile wind up, right? Right. Right. If a man's really exhausted when he's ejaculating and he's ejaculating too much, right? And sometimes ejaculate too much and they're tired afterwards and I would have them curtail around, but make sure that they're on the fertile window that they're just. Do you tell the men to stop ejaculating for a while, except for when they're waiting, except for when they're trying to get pregnant?

You know, I don't, because what happens with sperm, and it's really debatable from a Western doctor's point of view, from an Eastern point of view, that we want some ejaculation, because it's not good to not ejaculate. So they call it cleaning the pipes, really. Even a man who's giving a sperm sample won't ejaculate from like two to four days before the sperm sample,

and then he has to ejaculate because they don't want two weeks. The sperm like builds up. It's not good. So, right. Right. So when you're trying to conceive you should be regularly ejaculating that makes sense. Yeah. But with, I guess I was just thinking with, and this would be another show, which you probably should do, about tantric sex and about because men who get older and aren't trying to conceive to just kind of, to the practice of this energy flow in couples. And I just love the idea of it also

when you are trying to conceive of learning to have more connected sex, because if you learn it now, you're gonna have that for your lifetime together. I mean, yeah. I mean, it's so sad. I'll have some couples. It'll be like, okay, we have five minutes.

We have like 10 minutes. We have five minutes. Like the woman's not even lubed. She's not, you know, it like takes all that time, right? 20 to 45 minutes to lubricate. To get a rouse. And like, they're not in the mood. And the guy's like, oh, she's not, you know, it takes all that time, right? 20 to 45 minutes to lubricate. To get aroused, and they're not in the mood, and the guy's like, oh, I just, it kills me. Well, I know, I know, they're telling you

there's like, really a five minutes. Yeah, I mean, I have a woman who's so stressed out right now, and she and her husband are like, they had a miscarriage, and they're not doing well. And they're very busy, professionals, and they don't have a lot of time to have sex all the time. So you can't be like, because I feel like people come to you,

you must become like their sex therapist and their acupuncturers and their coach, because I feel like what I hear from a lot of couples, and I'm sure they come to your office as well, that they have, they're like, yeah, we're trying to get pregnant, but we actually, they probably tell you that we have no sex drive. I haven't really been into my partner for a while,

but now I'm trying to have sex. Like, what do you do with that to get their drive back up? Like, how do you work with your patients who come to you? If they're like, I haven't really been into it lately, or I've been stressed, or I'm not having orgasms or pleasure. You know, it's so complicated, right? Like, you get calm, true. Yeah.

The women's drive is so complicated. Like, everybody comes to my office, checks that I have no sex drive. I would say 99% of women that I work with. I tell you about the age range of women. I mean, I wake women in like 18 to you know, 65, 70. I mean, no sex drive. 99% check no sex drive. No sex drive. I mean, it's crazy. So, but so we talk about like what is sex drive? I try to educate them about like, what is a rousal versus desire, right? That sometimes women, you know, if your partner's like, hey, let's have sex, which oftentimes happens,

like women are like, oh, I'm tired, like don't ask. Last thing on my mind. Right, it's last thing on my mind, but a rousal is like, well, if I, you know, like if the husband or the partner, like, you know, gets a woman aroused, she might be more interested in having sex, right? It's the arousal that increases desire, right?

Exactly. So it's creating, it's giving couples more things to do together, like to all day long, like texts in the morning, you know, like all day more slightly. All day, four play all day. Yeah. Four play starts after the last orgasm. Exactly. Just keep it going.

I mean, I think that really works, though. I mean, I feel like you have to, especially when you're trying to conceive and you already know this is going to happen. And maybe if you haven't started yet, this is a great thing to keep in mind to work on, start having those conversations about what you guys want to try sexually, start exploring, start opening it up now. So your archives are already on track. You already have a full sex life, or you already have one that you're both interested because I think when couples get past all the shame and the trauma and the blaming and all that stuff Then sex becomes like their new hobby like it can be a really fun thing for couples who don't get all hung up on

He said she said and all their past traumas if you could just kind of Start today if you're listening to this go start talking your partner today about your sex life and what you want to try And that is what's going to help you have better sex your sex life and what you want to try, and that is what's going to help you have better sex. Absolutely. With communication part. Absolutely. And sometimes I do the most basic things with my couples,

like a hug, like that deep embrace body hug naked, like, or kissing, or lighting some candles, putting on some music, taking a shower together. I mean, these are like basic stuff, but people don't do that anymore. They don't when they met, then they don't do it anymore. Right, they do it when they met for the first three months maybe. And then everyone trying to get back to where it was at the beginning.

And and it's never going to feel like it exactly like that in the beginning, but if you even just think what worked for you then try it now, you'll be surprised. You'll be surprised at where it takes you. It might be somewhere even better than the beginning, something new and deeper because now you guys have that that connection and you have the years, and you have the history. So I have a question, though, when people come in, you're saying, and they have a low sex drive.

Now here's the thing, it could be so many things, because it could be medications. It could be birth control pills. And I want to ask you, have you seen impacts of birth control pill on women? Because I'm really sort of obsessed with this now. There's a great, do you know, Jolene Brighton? She wrote this book called Beyond the Pill

and she was on the show a few months ago and there's been a lot coming out and out about the pill. So what have you found with that with women? They're going off it, they're like, why can't I get pregnant? Yeah, a lot of times women who are on the pill for a long time, they're hypothalamus, pituitary ovarian access gets like sliced

and they don't get their, yeah, they don't get their periods back and I have to really work with them to get their periods back. But I think it's like an overused people have been on the pill for 20 years and never went off it. I think, yeah, I'm not, it's a great birth control. So it's the best birth control we have, but it's not for everyone. So do you tell people, so when women are on the app, as they go off about it, they're

coming to see you. So working with you as acupuncturists, you could help them kind of get their periods again if they're not or start to. Yes, yes. It's like the acupuncture helps to reconnect the hypothalamus pituitary ovarian access and get it flowing again. And sometimes I'll have to give them herbs or depending on what's going on. I don't think it's great to hear that women just aren't getting periods. Oh, yeah, the ones who have those people that take the pill and never get appeared or like the eye used to give up all the stuff in them.

Oh, oh, oh, can we talk about that for a second? Yeah, I mean, I'm not a big fan, unless someone has like really bad, like there's, there's reasons to like, people who bleed continuously, like that's the Western medicine approach as you put. Yeah, but I think they're bleeding continuously because of underlying issues.

Yeah, so I work with those underlying issues. So when I get, when they finally are to get pregnant, then I have to work to regulate their bodies. So you're busy. Yeah, that's a lot. Well, no, it is because of the underlying issues are things they never dealt with since they were like, went on the pill, right,

to another older. Yeah. Okay, so they didn't go, what about medications? So what about like antidepressants and stuff that are also affecting sex drive? Like how do you mean? Yeah, I mean, I have people on SSRIs and like sometimes the men have a really difficult

time ejaculating, and the woman will be like, it's taking me a really long time, taking me so long just to get them to ejaculate it. So it's pressure for these couples. So in some cases, men need to go off them. In some cases, they don't. It really, I think they're given out a little too much like candy.

I do too. And where people don't really need them, they could use other things. So I'll have them work with like a, someone like a natural path or somebody to help them get off or perhaps me to do some other, other ways to deal with anxiety, not just SSRIs. Right.

And there's blood pressure medication. There's a lot of things that impede sex drive and ability to perform. Well, you must have learned so much over these 25 years too, doing it. I mean, you're also a certified sex coach, so you've got this stuff, you must have learned so much over these 25 years too, doing it. You're also a surfer sex coach, so you've got this stuff. But has there been anything though, you said lately you've noticed a lot of low fertility

in men, in fertility in men. Young men. Like how young? I have like 35 year olds, I mean, 25, I've just women, you know, that what I'm seeing right now, women, I have a bunch of patients now in their 20s that are premature ovarian failure, meaning they're not getting periods at all. They're not even

ovulating and their follicle stimulating hormone is really high and nobody knows why. So I think there's a lot of like auto food. Is it they're almost saying like it was milk, remember, wherever they ate child, you know, or meat or chicken? Yeah, I think it's complicated. I think there might be a lot of more autoimmune conditions these days, where the body just sort of shuts down maybe some hidden illnesses or pathogens. It's hard to know, but there's- So we really don't know.

We don't know. Or like it could be unprocessed emotions as well, right? Yes. And people who have abuse, you know, the body, like in Chinese medicine, we say the heart is really connected to the hypothalamus pituitary. And when, you know, something happens that's traumatizing, it cuts off this heart connection to the reproductive organs and maybe you don't ovulate. So trauma is a huge one.

It's huge. Where do you send people for trauma work? What kind of work have you seen to be helpful? I interviewed a bunch of people for conceiving with love for trauma. And there's things called, there's like what is it brain spotting, and there's EMDR. It's what I've done lately. And, but there's also like one of my,

someone I interviewed for my book, did this thing called Havening, which is this sort of self-suiting technique where you're kind of stroking and saying things. It's again for trauma and re-programming the brain, somatic experience. There's even, I interviewed someone for yoga that was trauma yoga, where you asked permission. If you would like to, put your arm out, and I loved that.

I love that too, we have to teach more about that. Yeah, permission, right? Yeah. We're going to take a quick break and we come back more with Denise Weasner. I work a lot with trauma. You do even, even in doing your in acupuncture. Yes.

Wow. Okay. And we're up with kind of unleashing in the body because the body holds so much trauma. So I have, I have a lot of women with vulva dinea, like pain, and they can't even have intercourse. So I will work with them to sort of help the body release some of the pain. That's amazing to me.

So with, because I know that we've been talking about like public floor physical therapists can have as well, but you can actually do it with acupuncture. Yeah, I mean, it takes a team, it takes a village, right? It does take a village. It's not just one thing, which is not realized just dealing with just other hormonal systems. So you also work with women who are menopause,

paramedicosal. What have you seen with that, helping women? I think I just had a woman yesterday that came into that was just not knowing what to do because her doctor wanted to put her on hormones. And she didn't know if she wanted to be on hormones. And it's that struggle of like, do I want to be on hormones?

And are they bad for me? So because I don't, I'm not a doctor, I don't prescribe hormones, I'll do some natural things and I'll I really want to make sure that tissues are lubed. Like I want to make sure a woman doesn't like dry up right and and everybody's individual in that way. So I might recommend like Rose oil as a as a to plump up the tissues. Okay, as like it's put inside of you. Yeah, yeah.

Rose oil essentially. Yeah, yeah, did not know that. Yeah. Okay, what else don't we know about our vagina? What could plump us up? What else could we use anything else? I'll do rose oil and I mean actually you know using it Right having regular sexual is you know getting blood flow down there I might do have women do like ovarian massage, like where they massage their ovaries, do like breathing down there, do some kegilexercises, like pump up those tissues because they need to be used.

They need to be used, absolutely masturbation, to prescribe masturbation. I do, and I can't believe how many women like still have shame around it. Right, so you bring up something like, oh no, I don't. Are they saying, oh I know I should, what do they say, typically when you ask them they ask? I asked a very young woman that the other day and like, oh, no, I don't. Are they say, oh, I know I should. What do they say? Typically when you ask them to ask you. I asked a very young woman that the other day and she was like, no, she never did. It was like shamed in her in her in her family. Yeah. We get that every day. I mean, we're trying to try to undo that. People still carry that around that it's gross. It's wrong. But men, they're we expect them to masturbate. It's all on the outside. But for we don't have to be

not. They're mastering their adjusting. They're touching their penises. But for women, we're like, oh, no, shame, shame. No, but men we don't repeat it's outside. They're mastering, they're adjusting, they're touching their penises, but for women we're like, oh no, shame, shame. No, but men have shame around it too. Yeah, that's true. I have men that are really shamed about masturbating. And it's, yeah, I don't think it's just women. Yeah, I guess it's more like culturally we're cool with it and you're right, men are upset about it.

They culturally we'd expect it in a way that men are going to masturbate. Right, right, but for women, yeah, but that men are ashamed too, I think culturally we just expect it in a way that men are going to masturbate. Right, right. But for women, yeah. But that men are ashamed too because religion, upbringing, whatever. They still carry it. You don't think you got to check that out of the door. So you must, what's I'm saying, you must, they must sit in there and you're like their therapist as well. Yeah, I mean, sometimes I'm the first person they've ever talked to about abuse that's happened to them. Like they've never talked about it or things they've never told anyone. I said come up, like, do they start feeling

emotions right, and you ask them in their intake form? I might ask their intake form, or like, you know, what they think, or you know what it is, is that I have time. I think Western doctors don't have a lot of time to talk to their patients, everybody's in a rush to get, you know, the blood test. And so the fact that I'm asking them these questions

and that they're thinking about, and they fill out this huge intake form, they have time, there's time, there's space and time. And especially if they're trying to get pregnant, they need to explore these things because there's something in the way. I mean, that's amazing. You've helped thousands of people get pregnant.

I've been doing this a long time. I know, but still, what it was just I must feel amazing like when they call you and they're like, it's happening happening You know what I it is amazing and then also there's a part that's Hard to because sometimes tragedy happens right like I'm miscarriage and and sometimes like I had a woman who's baby died yesterday Who came into my my clinic and you know not everything's copy right sometimes? It's it's like it's a lot. It's the human experience. Going back to getting pregnant and tag about fertility, what about IVF? Like, what is that process? Like, are you working with

couples? You work with them going through IVF? Can we just talk what it's like, like, sexually speaking for the couple and then how the process? I don't really, I actually don't really know much, if you don't really talk to me much about, I understand the basics, but I love this because I work with couples a lot going through IVF. And so it becomes that they're, you know, if they're growing, much about. I understand the basics, but I love this because I work with couples a lot going through IVF and because so it becomes that they're, you know, if they're growing, women are growing follicles in the contained eggs and their ovaries get really busy. Big, big, busy, busy doing, they're big. They're busy, their ovaries are busy. I can't call you back for a month, okay. Yeah. Can't have lunch for her. Yeah. And they're growing

them. And so a lot of women feel bloated and they're shooting themselves up and they feel distended. And they probably are not the most sexual, however, because their estrogen is getting really elevated. A lot of women are more sexual. And they don't know what to do. And I actually included a chapter on timing and I interviewed a bunch of doctors

because they don't know when they can have sex. So let's say they can have it, but they doctors don't really want the sperm when they're growing these eggs, you know, a runaway sperm before they ovulated would not be a good thing. And so they don't, they're sort of like, you can have sex up until this point. And then there's this idea that when the ovaries get too big, they could torque if you have intercourse.

So I actually was like, well, what about like, literal stimulation? What about all these other types of sexuality? Sexuality is just not penis and vagina on a date, right? So I wrote a whole chapter about timing and like when you can have what. And a lot of doctors really don't know, like they say after IVF like bed rest, like pelvic rest, no sex, because they don't want

the uterus to contract, because they're afraid that it will dislodge this embryo. But the truth of the matter is there's no research to say that once an embryo is implanted, it's going to discharge. So they say all these things, but nothing's real. There's not a lot of research about it.

So it brings this question of sexuality during IVF, sort of it's really about asking the doctor, but usually it's okay, it's usually okay, but maybe not ejaculate in the canal. Okay. But what about... Yeah, exactly.

I mean, orgasms should be fine, right? It should, literal stimulation should be fine, but nobody talks about it. There's no detail that just says pelvic rest or no intercourse, but women are wondering what, women don't wanna ask

and they're afraid to ask their doctor, but they don't know, so they just don't have any sex. Which is incredible. Which is incredible. Yeah, that's terrible. I really wanted to bring that topic up and talk about what you can do. That it's okay to, and there's also different ways to be intimate, right? It's not like, you know, kissing and, you know, spending time together and cooking together and really talking and touching and hugging. I mean, I think touch

is so under, people don't touch. It's like, you know, what I mean, like, I just, I'm doing this workshop and I was like, oh, we're going to do rose petals. Like, we're going to do rose petals touch, like bringing tools into the bedroom to make it like exciting, you know, just to be touched. Are you doing a, we're doing the workshop, which this will come out after the show, but when the workshops that you're teaching around the country, are you? I'm starting, I'm starting a workshop on Saturday

for two hours at inside LA, right around here. And I'll be doing that with some Tibetan bowl drumming, which will be for fertility, for fertility, for sexuality, for intimacy and fertility, like exercise is to help, like breathing exercises, just to get like stimulation back down there. We don't breathe. I always have a breathe into your pelvic floor,

but how do you explain breathing to people? Because people don't breathe. Well, I had to relearn how, why never learn how to breathe? So I was breathing fight or flight. And I still do. Sometimes I tried to breathe, but how do you explain it?

Diffomatic breathing, but I actually do this microcosmic orbic practice with people. Microcosmic orbic is the best thing I've ever heard. I don't even know what it is, but tell me. It's basically like taking the energy and like kind of like maybe doing a little bit of like squeezing, but this is not breathing. This is like breathing for sexuality, sorry.

It's fine, no, we all, I think that everyone listening could benefit from this. It's like, it's kind of like your pelvic... You're sort of doing a little bit of a kegol and kind of getting the energy in your pelvic floor. And sometimes in dauace practices, they might tell you to sit with like a... your heel with a ball pressed into your vagina, like, sorry, your clitoris. Just sort of to stimulate that area. And you sort of get it going, so you stimulate the energy there.

And then you take the energy with the breath up the spine inhaling and exhaling down the front of your body down to the reproductive organs and squeeze them a little bit. And you're like really circulating. It's crazy, yep. Yeah. So breathing, I mean abdominal breathing would be like inflating the belly as opposed to breathing up in the chest would be relaxation

breath. But just this breath is really about circulating energy. So it gets people to start focusing on the connection between our whole body, not just our genitals. Like that it's all connected. Well, that's that, and I think that's really key probably to the work you do and the work that I do is that when there is such a disconnect, that it's like our genitals are totally separate from us. We don't even want to look,

and then except for when it comes time for sex, and then we're like, why isn't it pleasurable? Or why aren't I ready? It's because we're not connected. And I'm always looking for great examples to give people about breathing it. So picturing their public floor, I like the thought of squeezing it,

which is kind of a dauist. I was just some guy once, and we were practicing the same ever. It was amazing. Having said, I was practicing it over and you do, you start to feel it. Like you'll think it might sound so woo-woo, but like when you really visualize this and you're picturing the energy moving down in your public floor

and circulating it, it's like you're in it. It's connected. It's just energy. And then couples, like if they're facing each other, can practice, this is really cool. It's really hard to describe, but they can practice breathing in. So when you do this practice, then you send the energy to your partner, and then when you inhale, you inhale up your partner's spine and feel an exhale down the front, and then you bring, you inhale his energy into you. So you're making it. Yeah, you're making an infinity loop with your energy,

and you think, oh, that's like no big deal, but it's so powerful. So powerful. If you just do sit there for six, suspend all disbelief about it and then try it with your partner to connect again. What are some of the stories you hear from couples because I'm sure that you really. Have brought intimacy back into stone who was lives not just babies, but also just through the if they following your protocol Which you've a lot in your book conceiving with love which I think is a mastermind like buying it for three people and sending it to him today But what you probably you know tell me about some of that you probably weekend because they come in they're like stressed They're like not getting pregnant, you know a couple I had a couple once where the man had so much shame around a He couldn't ejaculate in his in his partner So they did IVF because he couldn't ejaculate in his partner.

So they did IVF because he couldn't ejaculate. He just couldn't get over it. He just couldn't release into his partner and it happened. In society, right? Yeah, it happened to his first marriage he couldn't ejaculate in her. And there was so much shame around it that they got divorced. And this was his second partner.

And she was like, that's fine, we'll do IVF, right? It's not a big deal. But then by saying the permission, he probably started, no, what happened? No, he keeps, you know, I think she was like, that's fine, we'll do IVF, right? It's not a big deal. But then by saying the permission, you probably started knowing what happened. No, I think it's like, I know and explained to him why this could be. There was no instruction of like, oh, yeah, that happens sometimes. Men have a different kind of masturbatory style than maybe their partners vagina can give. So all these techniques, but they went to the IVF doctor and the IVF doctor was like, yeah, just do an IVF. So he was carrying around this immense shame. And when we sort of released

the shame from him, like, you know, sort of like, yeah, it could be this, maybe you could try it with your hand, or you just then you just ejaculate, like there's all these other ways you can do it. They had the most fun because they actually freed their sexuality. They ended up doing an IVF and she got pregnant, but just getting over shame is like freeing for men and women. Yeah, it really is, but I mean, because the second you release it, and you actually are vulnerable and share it with your partner

that I'm actually having shame about, well, they love you, they're with you, they're trying to have a baby with you or trying to build a life with you. It's amazing how the truth around all this could truly set you free. The shame. Or just talking about like fantasies, right? Or something that you want to do.

It's like, there's so much shame. I remember going to, I went to this dungeon and I had to like this talk with somebody because I was really interested in like BDSM and just like what you know that because I wanted to write about Yeah, yeah, and then afterwards we went to this this little restaurant and they were all talking and I talked to this guy And I was like, you know, cuz I saw it had a wedding ring I was like, oh, just your partner know that you're into this and he was like, oh no like he had this totally separate existence from like You know what I mean? He had a partner here and then he was doing this other thing on the side. And I thought, that's so sad.

Like, why can't we just like sort of be unafraid to say like, you know what, I really would love this. And to be able to talk about like, yeah, let's like, you know, dress up like this for me. And it could be so simple. It's enough to be major, right? Exactly. No, I mean, this is exactly.

I feel like life is so sure. I have a guy friend of mine. He's like, budding, proposed to someone. And I'm like, well, have you told her about, because I know I'm really good friends forever about how you like to year into power play. He's like, oh, no, no, I couldn't. And I'm like, but that's such a big part of who you are.

And he's like, but I don't think she'd be into it. Just feel like, he's a smart guy. He's got a good life. But what we are so afraid of just the words, of just saying it, what's gonna happen, all this fear? And I'm like, you really wanna walk down there and close the door, what if she's into it? He just couldn't, he couldn't get past it.

I'm like, I don't think you should marry, you know, you can't, like I get so angry, and I support my own, I'm like, I'm angry that we are all walking around with all these big secrets that we're so afraid of sharing, and that's an interesting permission. And that's, you know, I guess that we're so afraid of sharing. And I just need permission. And that's, I guess what we're doing here. Yeah, exactly.

It's okay to share. It's okay to share. And it doesn't have to, you can do it in baby steps. It doesn't have to be this, like let's try this or let's explore this or dress up like this. I mean, how much fun can that be? So fun dressing up, you become another person. It's like, to me, we all feel like, you feel like Halloween or just feeling sexy,

whatever makes you feel sexy, gets a few costumes, get a wig. This woman once told me that she's like, my best, she was like 80s, like the best sex advice is get a wig. Cause you look like someone, and it makes sense. It feels really good just to not keep walking in the bedroom in the same place, doing the same thing,

just like we switch up our workouts. Absolutely. So it's like we're about damn sex life people. It'll be fun. Yeah, just are doing a different place workouts. Absolutely. So it's like, you're about to insects live people. It'll be fun. Yeah, just are doing a different place. I mean, sometimes it's like not even the, you know, doing it in the bedroom only, you know. Right.

Doing living room, do it wherever, doing the kitchen, get a hotel room for a night. I mean, do you often tell couples do prescribe like vacation and get out of town, or do a lot of couples also get pregnant out of town? I would think that would happen. It's really true. I wish it wasn't true.

I mean, away because it's such a cliche, but going away is the best thing ever. Yeah. For people. If you're trying to get back to just book a trip. A vacation is so needed because couples actually, you know, have intercourse then. Yeah. Exactly. So fuck. Vacation. One night, even outside the room.

What about once they have the baby and like sex off the table for a while, what happens then when they're like, they can't really have sex. do see people afterwards, right? Oh yeah, oh yeah, that's the big thing. I was like thinking I should write another book. Yeah. You know, there's something to be said about like the first few months. Everybody's really tired, babies aren't sleeping.

You know, men are tired too, and I think everybody's sex drives sort of plummets, but after a while, after a certain window where the baby's sleeping a little bit better, I feel like women need help because women are usually like, they're getting so much of their touch needs met. You know what I mean?

Cause the baby's all over there, I'm hanging, breastfeeding, that the sex drive is really lower for women. If it is. Yeah, it really is. And so it becomes a lot of advice to women that I've heard is like, you gotta do something with your husband.

Like, you gotta help your husband because women are, no, it's not like it once was, but it does come back. Let's talk about that. It does. It does. Yes, I'm here to tell you. It does. It does come back. Maybe it, what about hormones being like a little messed up after though? Yeah, I mean, if you're breastfeeding, you have prolactin and that sort of sometimes dries up your vagina. And so that, that kind of gets in the way, right? That's where Lube really isn't important. But I think women, yeah, I think it's communication

and I think it's sort of, I think the biggest thing is tiredness. People are tired when they have kids. If you're home with your kid, you're like all over you all day long and then you wanna go to sleep. I just say to my husband, my late husband, sleep was my first lover.

I just needed to get sleep. Don't touch me. I just sleep. I don to say to my husband, my late husband, sleep was my first lover. I just needed to get sleep. Exactly. Don't touch me. I just sleep. I don't like it. So I think it does come back and I think it's work and it's about spending time. Again, it's intimacy, right? It's spending time together. It's cultivating. You must get away. There must be a babysitter. There has to be time away from the baby. You have to really make that happen. Your kids are going to be fine. Yeah the baby. You have to really make that happen. Otherwise, your kids are gonna be fine. Yeah, they have it where people don't go away for two years.

They're crazy. You gotta leave the, you have to. And relationships suffer, they do. It really does when you have the intimacy. You still have to prioritize your relationship. God, it's so true. Question, is it true that women having an orgasm can increase the chance of conception

the sperm suck up theory? It's what it's called. It's a theory, so it's not been proven 100%, but there is a thinking, so you don't have to have an orgasm to conceive for sure. But there's an idea that when the sperm is near your cervix, that if you have an orgasm afterwards, it'll help the suck up the sperm. Of course, it's a theory and nothing's proven. So women who don't orgasm, you know,

shouldn't feel panic that they can't get pregnant, right? But had a funny story where I had a same sex couple that were getting sperm next door from, and it's in my book, the next door. And they were like having to do that sort of like the turkey-based or method, right? And then the one would give the other an orgasm to like get it up, which I thought was so cute. They said they were having the most sex ever.

But yeah, it's a little orgasm, right? Like right after it goes in there, just yeah, a little orgasm. Yeah, yeah, so I think that that's a theory, but why not? I think any theory about having orgasms gonna, I'm just telling you, I don't know what orgasm doesn't have with. When is an orgasm a detriment? I would agree. Really? Right.

And we can have lots of them. We're really lucky. We've got so many orgasms. I mean, I actually never really want to stop sometimes with my toys and things. So what about like turkey baster? Could you explain that? We just said that. What does it mean? So you really probably wouldn't about like turkey based or could you explain that? We just said that like what is it?

So you really probably wouldn't get a turkey based or but they don't use the literal turkey based or they do have these little these these like they're for inter-servical inseminations. If you wanted to do them at home you would have fresh sperm and then you put them in this insemination tool and then you put it up you like you know like when you're ovulating yeah yeah you just sort of suck it in there if you have like fresh sperm but when when they do I I inseminations from a doctor's office they they wash the sperm so you're actually not getting the semen part of it you're just getting the sperm part of it and then they actually put it up you with a

with a specific tool that's that's an an I U I inter-euterine insemination different than an inter-servical insemination that you do at home that's an IUI inner uterine insemination, different than an inner cervical insemination that you can do at home. That's kind of like the turkey based her. Okay, got it. Then what about loops? Oh, yeah. You see loops when you're one of a baby. People ask me at all the time. Yeah, I mean I really want to make sure that women who are ovulating have really good cervical mucus when they're ovulating. It should be that like- How do they know?

You know- That's described and I know you're talking about- do they know? You know, it's described in any type of... Yeah, it's egg white. It's like raw egg whites. And if you put it between your fingers, it stretches. Okay. Yeah, it's not sticky and tacky. I mean, it's amazing how many women don't know what their cervical mucus means. It's amazing.

So, but anyway, it happens before you ovulate. And the sperm can live in this mucus because it's more alkaline. It makes the vagina a little bit more alkaline, right? The vagina is mostly acidic. So it makes that alkaline. The sperm can live in it. And so when women start to get the cervical mucus, it's great time to begin intercourse. So some women, if they've had like injuries, like they've had, you know, sort of cervical, some of their cervix removed, may not make as much cervical mucus. In that case, a lube might be really good. And you want to use a lube that's, there's FDA approved lubes to use specifically for that window when this when this sperm becomes more alkaline.

Okay. Yeah. So like, but you know, some doctors say like things like coconut oil, it's just a lot of, you know, there's not a lot of research. So it gets to be like a research and getting all the stuff for women. Yeah. So, you know, sort of, some people say coconut oil is okay. Some people are like, no, that's not good. It's confusing. I've had a, yeah, I had a urologist say that vegetable oils

were okay, but yeah. Can't imagine that. Yeah, but I think it's important if a woman's not making her cervical mucus to make sure that, you know, really, she's, there's enough foreplay that she's a rouse. Because women should get wet. Did we get into your foreplay chapter? Did we skip it? Didn't we talk about it earlier's, it's there's enough foreplay that she's a rouse. Cause women should get wet. Did we get into your foreplay chapter? Did we skip it?

Didn't we talk about earlier? We were gonna get into foreplay. It's 20 to 45 minutes. That's the most important thing. 25 minutes of our rousing women. It's good. It's a women are shocked when I tell them this. It's amazing because that never happens.

Never ever happens. And then we wonder why we don't want to sex. We have a low sex drive. Yes. We need it. We need to work our way. We need to work our way. Well, that drive. Yes. We need it. We need to require. We need to require. Well, that's by side.

I use the one that said, foreplay is not just a suggestion. It's a requirement. We're not just like, oh, it'd be nice. Like, we require it. Yeah. For pleasure, for orgasm, for receiving. Yeah. So you keep women also beginning masturbation tips.

It's like you have the art of self-pleasuring. But I don't know. What are some things that, if they're feeling weird about it? Or M-men too? Like they... I have a first self-pleasure in I do. I do like I do a breast massage thing because women should like touch their breasts. It's very arousing to touch your breasts.

I know. Can we explain that to our customers? Yeah, I mean, I'll have women do like get some, you know, oil and start massaging like special aroma therapy and start massaging their breasts because it's really good for their breasts to massage them, right? And also, you know, why is it good for their breasts? Because it stimulates the tissue. I mean, it's tissue in our breasts, like any tissue, it's like we want to, you know,

we don't think to touch it. Sometimes in also in relationships, sometimes you find like your partner's really into your breasts and they forget about them and then nothing happens in our breasts. Yeah, they forget about them. I thought you liked my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. I thought you liked my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts.

It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts.

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It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen to my breasts. It would happen women for sure, breast, but massaging, breast massages super good with oils for women just to do on their own. And then it's arousing and then hopefully it's getting some kind of juices flowing and then they can do a little bit of touch and exploration around, you know, how does their clitoris like to be touched? Does it like to be, you know, at a women's yesterday it was like, I don't like my clitoris

touched. I don't like oral sex. And I was like, oh, that's so interesting. And I was like, well, I wonder what her anatomy is like. Like, maybe her clitoris is way too sensitive. And her partner is like touching it to aggressively. And that's like, maybe needs to go around the hood a little bit and not go directly on the clitoris.

Her ton of labia on the puke. Yeah, just go into it. Or maybe if she's really aroused, it'll be less so. Exactly. But I don't think she knows that. So like, she's got to have, so one of my things for her is to like find out by yourself. Yeah, and I don't think she knows that so like she's got to have so one of my things for her is to like find out by yourself Yeah, I don't think she ever masturbated before so wait me We got to get on the masturbation train and I love what you're saying about what kind of essential oils do?

Should we go up into our breasts? You know what I want to go do that now? Yeah, I actually had I think there's there's a lot of one I have in my book and I don't know that one by my heart, but but there is I think there's like some frankincense And then there's like I mean there's like some frankincense and then there's like, I mean, there's lots of stimulating oils for a produsiac. Like rose oil, sandalwood is good, and geranium, rose geranium. Like that Leon Leon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good ones.

Yeah. And I just love it you're saying why the breast, because I think for a lot of women who feel like they try to masturbate or they don't want to, I think just starting with your breast could also be just a great gateway, unless threatening maybe. Yes.

You know what I mean? So I'm not gonna make you organize it, but just for tonight, just massage your breasts and then see if it gets you in the mood for masturbation. It's such a good way of describing it. Like just to... Yeah, I like it too. Thank you, well you said it.

No, I'm taking it out. I like it. It's amazing. What about sexy foods? What I was saying is that for DGX, a real thing Emily, you said it, and I'm taking it out. I'm taking it out. I like it. It's amazing. What about sexy foods? Of course saying, is Effort DGX a real thing, Emily? Do I really, what about it? Well, there's Effort DGX, like herbal medicine, which I do a lot of in my practice, like

just really to help hormones, and they're really good. I mean, horny goat weed is one of them, right? Yeah. The horny goat weed, right? I think they gave it to goats in the fields, and notice they were having more sex. Yeah, it's real. But sexy foods, yes. I mean, like chocolate. Dark weed, right? I think they gave it to goats in the fields and notice they were having more sex. Yeah, it's real. But sexy foods, yes, I mean like chocolate, dark chocolate, right? It's got so many, it's got so many good things for you and it's great, I mean not too much, but it is. And I, I mean I talked about some in my like the goji berries, but pumpkin seeds or

you know, even oysters, I mean, cliche, but they actually are, they contain zinc and zinc is great for erections and for women, for fertility. So it's, they are sexy. Let's have a sexy dinner and make some, yeah. Asparagus. Asparagus, well, I think that's the old wives tale and asparagus. I put it in because someone, a book I read

was talking about like how they used to think it was sexy. Garlic. Right, garlic. Garlic increases blood flow, right? Because garlic opens up the blood vessels, and that's what we want for, not only for an erection, but for our clitoris.

I think that's really important. So you tell couples you send them home with recipes, like ad. Garlic. You know what, I usually do. I probably should do it like a sexy food for pregnancy book. You should?

Right. There's a lot of spin-offs. Yeah, I like that idea. Yeah. But I'll do a fertility friendly and have them do fertility friendly foods, which are really good for you. I mean, you know, garlic is like, you know, I say it, I say it on my book because it increases blood flow, but like, I know I think't always go agree with that with the breath.

I know I don't love garlic, but I don't either. No, I try to avoid it because I know onions. No, same. Yeah, I don't like onions and garlic. Oh, same. Oh my God. Okay, well thank you so much Denise for this. I love it.

Kierbuck is conceiving with love a whole body approach to creating intimacy, reigniting passion and increasing fertility. And I really think that there's just a lot of inspiration here about truly reconnecting, re-igniting passion, all of that. Great tips. Thank you for being here. Oh, thank you for having me. By your book, people can find you at DeniseWeasener.com.

Yes. W-I-E-S-N-E-R. And then where else would you like to send them? My Instagram is DeniseWeasener.AC. And I think that's my Facebook as well. And then if you want my clinic, there's natural healing acupuncture.com. Okay. Thank you so much for being here.

And I have five questions that I asked my guests. Here you go, ready? All right. Biggest turn on. Um, my biggest turn on is like looking my partner in the eyes and light touch, really. See. I like the eye contact. Yeah.

Biggest turn off. I need you to want to have sex tonight. Exactly. I think we can not relate to that. How would you describe your sex life or your relationship life in three words? You can pick. Heart, mind, love.

Something would tell your younger self about sex. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. Experiment. Yes. Number one, sex tip. Be a sexual adventurer. I like it. Okay. Thank you so much. Denise. Thank you so much. Thank you. Alright guys, I hope you enjoyed this show. Remember to subscribe to the podcast. We love when you review it or wherever you listen and thanks for sharing this with a friend. And thanks to my amazing team, Ken, Kristen, Michelle, producer, Jamie, and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. you