Sex With Emily - Bad Boys, Sex Toys & Why We Love Them

Episode Date: April 4, 2017

Think your sex life is already like a fairy tale? Guess what: it can get even better! On today’s show, Emily is joined by Madison and Jamie to talk about ways to elevate your super sex life to even higher levels! Great sex can always be greater, and we here at Sex With Emily want yours to be the greatest. How can sex toys help raise the bar in your bedroom? How can you tell if your partner is faking her orgasms? Are you looking for female-friendly porn that isn’t so vanilla? Emily, Madison, and Jamie provide their input on these bedroom behaviors, plus discuss the scientific reason why women just can’t help falling for the bad boys. Emily and Madison also share some bittersweet news that hits us deep here at the Sex With Emily office. Don’t miss it!   Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep this podcast FREE: NBC "First Dates", Magic Wand, Promescent, Intensity, Fleshlight and We-Vibe. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and today's show we're getting into some of your hottest sex and dating questions. What toys should you bring on a romantic getaway? How can you tell if your partner is faking her orgasms? What's all the fuss with female-friendly porn plus the real reason women fall for bad boys and so much more? Thanks for listening. HUM. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemlee.com.

Check out our blogs, our videos, and subscribe. It's so easy. If you're like, oh, I like this podcast. Guess what? You just go there. You poop and subscribe. We release two podcasts a week on Tuesdays and Fridays. And they don't ever miss them.

Because then you'll get to listen to all of them and also follow us on social media. Because it's a good time, Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, it's all at sexwithemilyfacebook.com, slash sex with Emily, and our newsletter, which is a good time, I gotta say. After all these years, people are like, I love your newsletter. So, hey, who says that? Nobody. So, I mean, nobody else like, I don't like people's new letters, I unsubscribe. Sorry, if you can say me, use that I unsubscribe but people like our newsletters and people like my

team. I love my team and I'm sitting here with them today. I'm with producer Madison and I'm with Jamie of everything. Videos producing, writing, editing, all that good stuff. Content. Content. Thank you. Here we are. Hi guys. Hello. Hello. Hello, hello. I am excited for the show today, for many reasons, but I'm really excited about this first, it's actually like our sex in the news, but when I read this, I was like, oh, I was thinking because I sensed mad as

in the middle of the night, one of my sleepless nights, lately, which are a good time. Thank God I'm in a house that was like, a window I could look outside. Like I love my new place, you guys. It's like home. It's like just feels like I came home, but I'm like, I'm looking outside and it's like nature

and pretty, but I was reading this in the middle of the night and it was like, why women fall in love with emotionally unavailable men? AKA bad boys. And I think that's something that is so perplexing to both men and women. You always hear men saying, why does she not like the bad guys,

or should I be a bad guy, or am I too nice? Women are like, God, I keep dating assholes. So this actually breaks, gets into the science of it. Kinda like how our brains get addicted to it. I'm just gonna give you little, some bullets here, and then we're gonna get into discussion. Here's the deal. Bad boys, as we know, can wreak havoc on our lives,

our bodies, our brains. The reasons we love bad boys, toxic people, and emotionally unavailable partners are not just emotional and psychological, they are downright biochemical. And BTW, this also can just be like friends that are toxic, or people in your life are toxic, kind of is the same pattern. Our brains can be rewired to fix and people who aren't good for us. Emotion unavailable men and women can be emotionally unavailable, as well toxic partners such as narcissists,

our sociopaths, and pickup artists, like all depend on these effects to get us hooked. We can become addicted to the highs and lows of dangerous romantic relationships in a way that makes a breakup from a toxic person similar to rehab from a destructive drug addiction. It's true. If you've ever wondered why you weren't able to go that person who defined your relationship and biguously, it was like, I don't know if I want to come in right now, maybe, maybe

we'll be together. Treated you inconsistently and unfairly, brought up your worst insecurities, while simultaneously subjecting you to sweet-talking and fantasy-prone, fast-foriting, there's a reason why. A lot of us who have the tendency towards dating bad boys or bad girls are addiction to toxic partners is strengthened by the mistreatment of us. So what I'm saying is their behavior of mistreating us for example they're like yeah I'm not sure if I'm ready for relationship right now. I'm not really sure what I want and they're like

hey wanna come home with my parents next weekend and you're like oh my god you actually do like me you know and next week like, I need some space, right? And then they're like, hey, let's hang out, and then you look at this amazing weekend together, and you have a great sex, and you're together for four days, and then you don't have room to like a week later. And are we going up and down and up and down, and we going back to them,

and we're like, why am I doing this? They're not healthy. So here's what happens. We first meet a toxic partner, or an emotionally unavailable person. Our bond with this person becomes cemented right through their excessive attention Combined with so they're giving us a lot of attention combined with their emotional withdrawal and withholding Mm-hmm. So we get addicted to this this this give and take this back and forth this up and down

So maybe we notice that this is happening we cannot prevent these cycles because you don't have to stay in a destructive Relationship nor in a destructive cycle of dating the same type of people over and over again, because we do get attached to them. And here's the reason why. So there's some chemicals and hormones involved which make for a powerful cocktail, if you will, of attachment that have little to do with the merits of the person dating and everything to do with their sketchy behavior. I'm just going to break something down and we'll get into it, okay?

So you've heard me talk about, and you probably have all heard of dopamine, like we get this rush from people like serotonin and even oxytocin like the cuddle hormone. These things are real. These things exist, whether you're doing drugs or you're with a person who makes you for a really good at well moment and really bad. So let's say you like a positive experience, like you've an unforgettable date

or they flatter you, they give you great sex and great gifts and they're really romantic. This releases dopamine in your brain. So like that feel good like hormone. You're like, oh my god, that feels so good. I love it. Um, that's the reward circuits in our brains. Like, that feels really good. I want more that I want more of that. And then what happens is they withdraw, right? So they're really great and then they stop. They ghost you. You don't hear from them. And this is what's called intermittent. I kind of imagine like the rats in all these studies, right? Like intermittent reinforcement. It's a schedule of rewards rather than a consistent schedule.

So someone who's always giving you, who's always flattering and they always show up and they're really dependable and they're really reliable, you don't have these ups and downs. But if the inability of your toxic partner to give us what we need all the time, if it's back and forth that gets us addicted to it, does that, you know? Yeah, totally.. If it's back and forth, that gets us addicted to it.

Does that, you know? Yeah, totally. And so it's interesting because Dr. Helen Fisher, who I love, she does a, if you guys have not read it, if you're interested in this kind of stuff, like the science of sex, she's an amazing sex researcher. She's been doing this for a long time. She discovered that this frustration attraction, okay?

That's what she calls it. The experience of obstacles in a romantic relationship that Hightens the feeling of love rather than hindering them. She discusses how the brains of those in adversity, in relationship become activated in a very similar way to people on cocaine. Okay, so Is that all oh my god, it sounds so real to me. You know anyone like this? Lots of people. Okay, so So basically our brain become masochists. So we are like seeking out the people who hurt us. So that's why, like, in a healthy relationship, we become used to the safety and the comfort. We always talk about this, how like relationships over time, we experience them as like stale and kind of boring.

We want excitement and thrill because we're used to it. There is not. We don't get the up and down. But when we get someone who's toxic and not that great to us, we're like addicted, we go up and down. That's what we have, that's what we have. It's very exciting and a rush. That's why I always tell couples, I always say the couples who play together, stay together. Because if you do something that's like really exciting together,

so you go skydiving, or even if you take a course together, or you join the gym together, you're doing something new, it's a new experience, and it can bond you in a healthier way than blowing someone off. Or, off, or not being available. Totally. No, I have a, and what's hard is like once you have a serious relationship that's like that,

where it's like that for a long time, even after you break up, your brain automatically associates that with love. So from then on, every relationship you have that isn't like sirens flaring, you know, all of that. They're looking at it like, wait, so does he really love me if he's not throwing chairs and breaking windows and like threatening to burn my house down? Like does that mean he doesn't care?

Like I have, that was a very extreme example. This is not like this, but my best friend was in a really like emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist who also had a drug addiction. And he was so mean like he would Bring her close and throw her away whenever he wanted to go you Is but she had no idea that he was using and so their relationship was constantly up and down It was like a source of worry for all of her friends and she got out of it amazingly It was like one day she was just done and that was it and she never saw him again

And now she's in this amazing relationship with a super steady guy, and all he wants to do is give her the best life possible. And there are times when she's like, I just, I don't feel safe. Like I don't feel settled because I feel like there's gotta be something. Like there's gotta be something awful happening for it to really feel real to me.

Right, and she's like in therapy and stuff, trying to work through it. Exactly. Yeah, like they're getting married, and she still has those moments, but she freaks out because she's like, it's not crazy. Right, exactly. It's so the drama. Yeah, like we're getting married and she still has those moments where she freaks out because she's like it's not crazy Exactly. I'm so the drama. Yeah

We become addicted to the drama and these kind of relationships and also a lot of times It can come from childhood Maybe we grew up in a really tumultuous environment, so it feels actually like family. It's like oh, this is comfortable I know drama. I know like, you know my father was absent for example, and you're like, oh, so this guy's absent That's right. No, I'm not meant and women can do this too, right? Like you know my mother abandoned us, I date women who are not available. I mean, we all go through this and a lot of times you can have the happiest family

and you still go through it. So it can just happen because we get addicted. So we have to understand the reason we're obsessed with this person who isn't great for us, it's not because he's better than the nice guy who's like super reliable and always there for us. You know, with the nice guy, the romance might like build gradually, which is healthier and organically, it's usually

because these guys are actually worse. So the dopamine effect means resisting creating new pleasurable memories with the person who divides us with pleasure primarily through pain. So we are not like associating like the pleasurable memories of people. It's like the painful memories and like that's what we're becoming addicted to this cycle. So it's like the unpredictability, the fear, the anxiety, we associate with this partner, has our, like leaves our heads spinning, leaves like this is not predictable, but we're engaged. Like it keeps us engaged and excited and going, whereas with the healthy partner which you might not be used to, we're like we get bored, we want to do other things. And so it's

really if you find yourself in these loops in these cycles You can get out of the cycle and I think this might even help you What I was hoping by talking about the same disgusting is that you might really like you have a choice You can get out of it and you can create new neural pathways So once you get away from these people and you cut off from it just like any drug or anything Your brain will sort of readjust and you can learn to become attracted to people that are healthier for you. And in fact, when you start to feel that push pull from somebody or that drama, you'll

be like, okay, that's unhealthy. That's not what I want. I don't want that anymore, but it's like an unlearning and a retraining of your brain. So it's possible to get out of this loop. Absolutely. Therapy helps too. Therapy is great for this kind of thing. I've thought about this because women are like, why do you like the bad boys?

You know, and yes, there's certain things that might be attracted to them. You know, we're like the guy like smoke cigarettes or like, you know, the guy is so bad. I think about like in college, I think I smoke it and it's gonna be class and like in a band and like doing all these things. Not that's like so wrong, but like they just treat us in a way.

Like it's like a quick fix. It's like why we like the higher, why we like, you know, droggers or anything. It's like that same thing. It's a distraction. It's like a one major like distraction from having to do with our own, like whatever's going on in our world because we're so addicted to this attention deficit we get from this person, like we get it, they give it, they take it away, we give it, they take it away. And then also sometimes

if we've like low self-esteem, we think, you know, or low self-worth, we're thinking like, if a nice guy likes us, well then there's something wrong with him, because I'm not really lovable. I mean, there's a lot of layers to this at all, and we think if someone's really guy likes us, well then there's something wrong with him because I'm not really lovable. I mean, there's a lot of layers to this at all and we think if someone's really available to us, well, God, if you're really available, then like, he's kind of a loser because I'm a loser. So there's a lot of different things they could go on here in these cycles.

And I was thinking about this too because I know that I won't think that I was necessarily toxic in relationships but I was definitely very emotionally unavailable and a lot of my earlier relationships. Again, these bad boys or bad girls are not conscious of it. I was not consciously trying to be that person. My friends used to joke with me, they're like, why are all these guys so in love with you?

Why do they all want to be with you all the time? And like, you know, and that's what I was mean, but I was typically like, I'm not sure what I want. I don't really want to commit me right now, which was true. Like I really didn't want a serious relationship, but I mice my pattern. I was like getting into relationships with guys who were actually really nice guys. And I really didn't want a serious relationship but I mised my pattern. I kept getting into relationships with guys who

were actually really nice guys and I wasn't sure if I could have been I kept thinking like I want to be dependent and I want to do my own thing. But yet when I was with them I was very present. I'd be available and I love spending time with them. But then I would disappear. But not disappear because I was cheating. Not disappear because I was doing something else. I was really like with my friends or trying to you know work do start sexually do my own life and they remember, do me. And they would say, I feel like

any day you can just break up with me or I feel like you, you know, you aren't really available. And so I would be doing this. I think some of these things, them and I, and I get it now, it wasn't conscious that I don't think that anybody really consciously tries to be an asshole and tries to be a jerk. And I think that that at different points in your life, you know, we also learn from these experiences, we learn from these things. I'm no longer that person anymore. Person you're dating, I don't think,

is purposely trying to hurt you. We have to all protect ourselves in relationships and realize what's the healthiest person to be with. The healthiest relationship for us. That's what I want to say about that. Do you guys have any experience with this? The Tractitude guys? Like, yeah.

I went through the big, not necessarily, like, emotionally abusive or whatever, but I went through a big, like, unavailable men sort of thing, just through most of, you know, my teenage years and then like early, early 20s, before I started getting into my relationship. And you tend to have this, like, these rose colored glasses, where you think, like, I don't have intimacy issues,

like, I went to all the psychology courses and I was like, oh, my attachment's great. Like, I have no intimacy issues whatsoever. And then I'm in this long-term relationship and I've been looking at it. And the truth is, is that I think subconsciously, I picked my boyfriend when we first started because he was so emotionally unavailable. He was like a guy who like, I didn't think

would ever fall for me. I didn't think I would ever fall for him. Like, it was safe and it was easy and there was no way that we were gonna end up together. So it was like such a convenient thing to do in college. And I think that I was drawn to that. And like, it was like a nut to crack after a while, you know? Like, I just, we kept spending time together

and it was so push and pull and every day our friends were like, what are you guys doing? Like, you're gonna destroy each other. And please do not end up together. And one person actually told me specifically, he will never love you. Oh wow. And I was like, it doesn't matter.

I was like, it doesn't matter. Like, I don't want him to love me and just kept on doing it. Cause I was so conditioned to believe that like, this was healthy and this was my choice that I was making. But like, it wasn't. And I was just this lost kid and it's amazing that we've ended up.

I know. We're still together. Because you can't, you know, I'm not saying that people can't change, change either, because you can kind of work. Most people can. And the reason that, and also it's interesting because a lot of it is intimacy issues.

So I think for me too, I was like, I didn't want, I really didn't want, I thought I wanted a relationship but then I didn't really want one because I think getting close, like I had like the band-in-ms issue. So like it's not like the people who are doing this to you or you're experiencing it, like we've all got our own set of issues.

So it's a matter of like working out what's healthy and what's not healthy. And I think you have to go, don't beat yourself up if you're in this cycle because've all got our own set of issues. So it's a matter of working out what's healthy and what's not healthy. And I think you have to go, don't beat yourself up if you're in this cycle because I kind of think this is where you learn from all these experiences. And in my last relationship, this person was similar to what I was doing. So it was very familiar to me, but I wasn't like that anymore. I could totally understand why he was like that. I'm like, oh, I got it. I used to be that way.

So you start to recognize these patterns. And it's interesting because this study also says that the couple like I kind of said couples who play together stay together but couples who like ride a roller coaster together experience a life-threatening event they tend to bond more closely and it's also why you tend to inadvertently bond more deeply with someone who's hurt you or has subjective abuse they call it trauma bonding which is interesting so you you actually are bonded again you guys it's these chemicals in your brain, but you can learn to like, again, therapies are a great way to do it, even just recognizing that there is a problem.

And that the things that, again, that we experience as pleasurable are not necessarily the healthiest for us. So. And I think it's interesting too, how like even if you try to like, you know, like you see how you're supposed to be treated, but you feel weird by it,

because I have a friend who's like, you know, she's in a really super, I don't necessarily think it's been the best relationship over the course of time. They broke up for a little bit, but now they're like back together. And like, apparently like things are going better. I'm not really sure.

But one thing that really was interesting to me that goes along with this is that she's telling me how she's like, yeah, you know, I'm gonna go to like this festival. And normally like I approach the situation like I was gonna tell him I was going like, like really apprehensively Like, oh, like he's probably gonna just like freak out on me for no reason Like even though he has no reason not to trust me. She's like, yeah, so I'm gonna go to this, you know

Like this festival or whatever and he's like, okay, sounds fun. Have fun. And she was just like she was like weirded out by it And I was like, but that's what the reaction is supposed to be. She's like, I know She's like, I know that that's normal But because that's not how he normally reacts like normally he would get all pissed off and all the stuff. And I would have to figure out a way to tell him. Like, she's like, it was just so off for me because like, I wasn't expecting him to react that way. So that feels different to me. And it's like, it's just interesting how like you could be conditioned to feel a certain thing that is like normal and regular in a relationship. And then when you experience how things are supposed to go, and they're like, right, but you're like, you feel wrong about it.

Exactly. Because you don't know what the normal is. No, what normal is. And again, this is just like I always say like we don't. There's no, there is no guidebook. We don't like no one teaches us how to have sex. That's why I'm here at Happy Olive Sex. No one teaches that to communicate about sex, which is another thing. And we don't learn how to be in a healthy relationship. Sometimes we don't even know what that means. I mean, I grew up in a home where, you know, I never, my parents got divorced and I was eight. I attended four of my parents' weddings for as 25.

I never saw parents together and happy. Like, I didn't even know what that looked like until you don't know. And so that really just comes from, like, you know, there's some great books on it. There's research, there's therapy, there's, you know, just even stepping back in view. Find yourself in this loop,

because we also are very attracted to relationships, whether healthy or unhealthy, we want to be with someone, but sometimes we just keep picking the wrong people. So this just can take some work and some research. And I mean, I think that's, again, we always talk about like your 20s, it's time to like, you know, day and like, don't commit, but you can also spend a lot of time working in yourself.

I think it's a great time to figure out what kind of what you do want to date and to get into some serious therapy or to some serious self-interrespection, introspection, however you do that. Meditation, yoga, whatever. It's a good time for that. Because the other thing about these patterns is patterns are patterns for a reason. You could go spend a lifetime with people like this. So if you find yourself in a place right now that doesn't feel great to you, you have the power to

change it and don't blame yourself because it's your brain. Okay. How about that? Should we give a shout out to our sponsors and we'll be right back. Thank you everyone for listening to this show and thank you for supporting our sponsors. We love them and we only like talk about people and work with brands and sponsors that we actually use, try, believe in and we hope you will, we're back. Okay, everyone, we're going to go on to your emails now. Thank you so much for emailing me and if you have a question you want me to answer, that's amazing. Go to sexwithmwe.com, click on Ask Emily tab, fill out the form, hit send.

It's like saying.com, go to www. You guys all know this. So just send me an email and also you can leave a voice mail. You guys leave me for a voice mail. I like the shows with voice mail. Those are fun and leave me one, eight when eight, ask SWE1 or eight when eight, two, seven, five, seven, nine, three, one. And also helps me to get your agenda, your age, where you live, and how you listen to the show.

And I can't wait to hear from you. And also, when you're filling out those emails, don't forget to, if you wanna talk to Emily, one on one, which I highly recommend, she's awesome in action, and she will talk you through whatever you need help with. When you're filling out that form, the Ask Emily form, you can select. There's like an option. If you want to discuss it live on the

podcast, click that box and we'll be giving you a box. Yeah, click it. Love when you click that box. Okay. Hey Emily, I love the show. I've been with my husband for nine years, married for nearly five. We have two children, ages six and four. We've always had really good sex, even from the first time. I've always had multiple orgasms and always orgasm before him. We're going away for a dirty weekend next month to celebrate our five-year wedding anniversary. I want to take advantage of this time and do something new with him. We've never felt the need for toys,

but I think it could be fun to try some now. What toys would you recommend using that we can both enjoy and not feel too intimidated by? Thank you so much Alex. Congratulations Alex. I know she has this amazing fairy tale sex life. I know it's amazing. They've great sex and you've multiple orgasms. And she's a orgasm before him. Always.

They were three always. You always have really good sex. Always multiple orgasms and you always like orgasm before him. Like lock that dude down. Right? I'm like amazing. We just go like a round of applause. I know. Like real quick like. I don't even go out like this. Not every, this doesn't happen every one. I'm telling you, this is not typical. So Alex and happy anniversary. Yeah. Yeah. Happy anniversary. I know. I love this. Okay, so some toys first of all

I'm glad that you recognize also Alex and I hope that this said everyone listening understands is to that guess what guys toys are not like a Need like we better bring in the toys. It's a bad thing. No, they can actually enhance and change up your sex life Things can you know do the same. She has too many multiple orgasms killing a board of that she wants to mix it up It doesn't matter toys are just a nice addition to art of your orgasm, scaling aboard of that, she wants to mix it up. It doesn't matter. Toys are just a nice addition to art of your orgasm sandwich or your... It's everything you happen in your relationship, but just adds a little bit like, you know, a little bit, a little bit of spice to it. It's fun and extra orgasms and just something different. Like we said, relationships after a while, even after multiples, she's like, let's try something new. I was gonna say, imagine a world where even multiple orgasms get kind of dull.

This is where I'm saying, right? Imagine a world. Yeah. In a world. In a world where four orgasms are not enough. Right. Because the thing about toys too is that they're not like, you're getting more, but they're like a different kind.

Like your penis does not vibrate. Like it does, doesn't. They're your fingers. Well, they can't vibrate if you use the finger. The finger vibrates. The G. We'll get to that. Okay.

So you can try. I like the Wevibe Touch or Tango. Those are great, literal vibes. They're great to use the finger wrap. The G-E-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R- you're your your breasts same with a tango like you could tease him these are great for using on him to he's never experienced the vibrations remember you guys This Alex can feel great. He's never had it like put it in this Prenie and put it on his shaft But yeah, and it's so not intimidating at all because it's so small and if you use it on him too He's gonna like it and it'll like warm him up to the idea of using it on you too right not intimidating You're right. That was your last question. These are so not intimidating. They look like the tangos, like the size of your finger, your forefinger. It's a little bit different. The touch is tongue shaped. So, it doesn't look like a tongue. No, it doesn't look like a tongue shape. Right, but it has tongue shapes. And it has a different point. It just feels good.

Yeah, I love it. And they have a really good vibration. And they have all these awesome patterns that are amazing. That I think are pretty unique to Wevi. Yeah, yeah. I like the, yeah, Wevi makes incredible toys. Okay, then there's the G-ring from FT London. Talk about not intimidating, like you won't even know this is there except for the fact that you're having like amazing vibrations. You put on your finger, it's literally like a ring,

and it's like a little tiny ring that you put on. It's not that big at all. What mess is this? It's a super ball ring. And anywhere you put it in any finger and anywhere you touch, will feel great. It's a vibrator so you can trace it over your partner's body. You can use it on your clitoris.

You can use it on his balls. You can use it while you're giving him blowjob and your throat. It's just a really, it is the least intimidating vibrator I think of all of them. Yeah, and it's super versatile because you can use it. Like she said, so many different ways. And like, then you can go in the shower and use it by yourself.

It's waterproof. Exactly. I have them at purse right now. Yeah, that was gonna say, like, then you can go in the shower and use it by yourself too. It's waterproof, exactly. I have it in my purse right now. Yeah, that was gonna say, like, it doesn't matter. It's literally in my purse. It's the smallest clutch ever. It will fit in.

Right, clutch purse. Yeah, well, yeah, sorry, clutch, clutch is a thing. No, but I was like clutch, like clutch, like the Lego clutch. Yeah, no, I use that all the time. Like, it is clutch. It is a very clutch, it's clutch. It's clutch vibe and it can go in your clutch. Yes. I just love anything, your hand that all the time. Like, it is clutch. It is a very clutch vibrator. It's clutch vibe and it can go in your clutch. Yes.

I just love anything. Your rib gets turned right. Yeah, your hand becomes vibrator. What else? The Quick Shot? The flashlight Quick Shot is awesome for him because guys often feel a little bit left out of like, sex toy stuff.

They don't have as many options, but as far as like, sex toys for men go, flashlight kind of are the number one bestseller. And the Quick Shot is cool because it's like a cross section. So a normal fleshlight looks like a flashlight and it's got like an end that you screw and unscrew to like create more section. It's made out of patented super skin material, which means that it just, it feels really similar to like skin, but it's in this like, you know,

flashlight container almost and he masturbates into it. Well, the quickshot is a cross section of that. So it's open at both ends and literally it's in this like, you know, flash light container almost and he masturbates into it. Well, the quick shot is a cross section of that. So it's open at both ends and literally, it's like, it creates the perfect hand job without you stretching out your hair, hurting your hand. Like, you just hold this quick shot and slide it up and down his penis instead of using your hand to do it and it feels amazing for him.

And it's like, cool. Like, it's cool for four play. He can use it later on himself. You guys need mutual masturbation. I'm a big fan. Love the quick shot. Yeah, it's a really cool toy. It really is.

It's a cool, it'll probably end up with your blowjob helper too, because that would say hands, these are your hands during blowjob. I mean, if you want to use your hands, you get mouth gets tired. If your mouth gets tired, your blowjob use it up and down.

And all these toys are great, because they're travel size or easy to use. They don't require a lot of bells and whistles. They have to be charged before you go, but like that's going to be easy. They're like, I love that fun toy chargers. I'm so into those. And the weebbs. The weebbs too.

The little magnetic chargers and these are water proofs. So hopefully you're staying somewhere with a great bath tub or hot tub. Totally. Oh my god. It'd be so awesome. Yeah. I love these for the shower because showers sometimes can leave a lot to be desired. Yeah.

It's like in theory, it's fun to be like, oh, wait, it's fleshing and like, you'm so up your breasts. You know, do the thing. I'm not. I'm saying Yeah, it's like in theory, it's fun to be like all wet, it's splashing and like you'm so up your breasts, you know, do the thing. I'm not, I'm saying like it's a bad thing, but bring the toy in the shower. Yeah. That's super fun. It's definitely more fun to play around in the shower than to actually have shower sex. Yeah, because you can get creative the shower

than way in like the ways of like foreplay and just like playing around or like touching and stuff, but when it comes to actual sex, it's like not graceful. Exactly. At all. So I think these are great. These can be used during sex or for play or later on by yourselves.

I think you're gonna be happy with any of these choices and you can find them all on our website in the store on the banners. I think that actually most of these except for flashlight. So to go to flashlight, go to sexthemay.com, click on the flashlight banner, and then the rest of them I'm pretty sure can be found in the sex-themly store. They can. You're one-stop shop for everything you need for

your romantic getaway. Exactly, it's right on my website. Just shop with Emily. Okay, and happy anniversary in Alex. We're really jealous of you, but we're also really happy for you. Very excited for you. It's awesome. We're not jealous, we can all have multiple orgasms and have a good time. No, we can all have great sex. It doesn't just mean because you have multiple orgasms that the Holy Grail of sex. It's pretty free and good, but sex, you know. No such thing is a bad sex for all of a new good time. All right, hi Emily.

I just started listening to your podcast and I'm definitely enjoying them so far. I'm glad you're definitely sure about that. Anyway, my girlfriend swears she's never come when given or before. Then I went down to her and she came. So of course I'm feeling like, yay me. Hello, well. And with her I seem to last forever. I kid you not. Literally with every other girl I've been with, I've either came in 30 seconds or gone limp before I

could. But with this woman, everything seems amazing. And I love going down our, so here's my question. Are my Niners gonna make the playoffs this year? Kidding! I love this guy. I actually have two questions though. Number one, how can I tell if she's not faking it? And two, if she pushes my head away after she's orgasm, is that a good or a bad thing? Because I'd really love to give her multiples.

Thank you, sincerely Jason. Okay Jason, yay for you, yeah go you. I know two couples in a row that are just nailing it in the bedroom. So awesome. This is called Multi-Borgasms, this show. Oh my God, I didn't do it. Do you know how much thought this just side note?

We put a lot of thought and care and energy into naming our shows. Yeah, so if you really like a show title, you should email and tell us. Please tell us. We want to go feedback at secs.com every moment of the show is at just like, we just don't just like throw together, we care a lot.

Yeah. And yeah, let us know. So I think something with multiples. But anyway, back to this. I love, okay, first of all, you're putting in the work, you're paying attention to our body language, rather than just watching what our mouth is saying. Like you'll know, like you can tell if it's true,

I'm sure it's real. Now I could get to what I'm going like, no guys ever done this before, you're the best I've ever had, no guys ever made me comment, boom, I did. Like I get why you, your dubious ever done this before. You're the best I've ever had. No guys ever made me comment, boom, I did. Like I get why you, you're dubious here Jason. How old is he? Did you say how old he is?

Or how old she is? No. You guys, tell me how old you are. Believe me, it matters. Maybe he did and I just didn't put it down. This could be a new issue. Just keep breathing. Keep doing what you're doing.

OK, so I think like you're going to know, if it's real, like her breath quickens, her muscles contract, like fingers and toes. She's flushed, her heart starts racing. And here's the other good news, the reason why she pushes you away is because right after woman orgasms, it becomes really sensitive. And it becomes, and you gotta put, like I do that, if I come out, I push someone away, like I do, or I do the vibrator, like for a second, or two, or three. But the good news is that the women's like refractory period is a lot shorter than men, so she can't, you can give her multiples.

But what you gotta do is you gotta pull away in that moment. Like that's something that I do, just I didn't realize I'm doing it, but I do it after I was able to do it. Absolutely. Like you push away. But then you can come back. But what you gotta do is it's like when you have an orgasm and like you're like don't keep touching me

or don't keep like right after. So let her cool off. And what you do is you don't stop. Okay, you don't just like cool off and go get the slice of pizza and come back. You just pull away from her clitoris and then you like start again like we start with the foreplay Like start kissing her kissing your breasts kissing your inner thighs Just like continue to tease her and continue to like turn around

Talk dirty give her a little massage if you want but with multiple orgasm It does take a little patience. So I get it with guys like shit Want him to go for another and again some women can't keep going one after the other, but with her, it sounds like, no, because she's pushing you away. So just like slow down, remove your tongue, keep going, and then like maybe 30, 60, 90 seconds, too much. You can go back to the clitoris, but I would even suggest like rubbing around the clitoris with your finger, like even like her pubic mound, which is like right about my laugh every time I say that, but it's true, like to me, you start putting pressure on there, so she is still sensitive. And then you can go back to it and then start teasing again, add some lube. Yes. Oh, totally. Yes. Go for it. Like put some lube on our clitoris,

start rubbing around it, got a lovely, I haven't talked about that on the show. Yeah, oral sex, especially flavored Lube. Oh my God, flavored Lube is amazing. And for oral sex. Joe's, Joe has some amazing flavor Lube right now. Flavor, spring flavor, spring, happy Jolube. Yeah, happy Jolube season. They've got like, free and incredible flavors.

Passion fruit? Yeah, passion fruit and like lemon zing and they have, I think like juicy pineapple. Like everything that you could possibly want in a fruit loop or something, you could find in these flavors. Exactly. So I would say you're doing fine.

Do we answer all of this questions here? She said, I don't, I doubt she's faking it and you want to give her multiples. And first of all, here's the other thing about multiple orgasms is that I think that's a, like talking about like learn behaviors and learn responses and what we believe to be true. We believe we're not supposed to be treated well by somebody

We might believe that we can never have multiple orgasms But guess what speaking of the touch. I've not told this story in a while, but Lori Who works? Yeah, she's just worked for us work here. I've done some editing and stuff Lori never had a multiple orgasm before we were doing sex to review She took the touch home when she first started working here. She's like I can't have one And I'm like no, but just try and I gave her some tips. And then we went, came back the next day, she came on the show, she had five orgasms. She came on the show.

She came on the show. And then she came on the show and she showed me. So I'm telling you, you're a girlfriend might not, doesn't really know. No, that's good. Yeah, exactly. I, right. So, we just have the orgasm on the show because there you go. Come with Emily.

So she gets a new name. We're going to title this for that. Oh my god. Or guys with Emily? Wow, there are like three shows that I've had. Multiple with Emily? This has never happened. Oh my god.

Multiple with Emily? Okay, we're not naming this yet. I'm saying is, but what I'm selling you, Jason, is that this is awesome. Oh, also, she might believe that she can. Maybe she's never had a multiple. You can be that guy. She's never come during oral. She may never have multiple.

But you guys can work on it together. And again, she might believe that she can't. So she might not even know how to do it. It's always true. There's a refractory period that can happen again. And if she can't with your mouth, again, add a little vibrators that that always does it for me. I can't like, 16, like, it doesn't make a shit.

I gotta get some more. So let's play a game really quick. How old by his email, do you think Jason is? Okay, hold on. like, 16, like, it doesn't make shit, I gotta get some more. So let's play a game really quick. How old by his email, do you think Jason is? Okay, hold on. Oh, that, this is good, okay. Because I got his name and info up. Okay, correct it. Why'd you tell me?

I didn't mean to fire it. Just kidding, I'll go back to the minute. Okay, I was thinking about making that joke too. I know, I'm gonna be like, you know what I quit. You can't mess it up. I said, you can't. I feel like you can't be too young because I don't think that many younger guys or women like know about multiple orgasms.

So I feel like he's gotta be at least in his late 20s. I say 28. Yeah, I was gonna say like 27. Jason is 46. Oh my. Hold on down. Way to go, Jason. Jason.

Very exciting. And you have probably made your partner's life. She's never, she's not lying. See, this is what age matters. It totally does, but I have to say. I'm not saying 22 years of lying too. But I had never had an orgasm from oral sex. I actually hated oral sex with a passion.

I'd had nothing but terrible oral sex my entire sex life. And I started dating my current boyfriend. And the first time, like one of the first since he went down on me, I came. And it was like after that, it was like almost guaranteed and it opened up my eyes and when I told him that way later, he didn't believe me because he was just like, there's no way. So I get being incredulous.

You're like, there's no way I'm the first person to do that. You're like excited, but you don't want to get that excited. Hey, you just rocked her world. Yeah, exactly. It's amazing. Excuse me. And two, also, nothing is worse than when you're pushing a guy's head away

after you've already orgasmed and he keeps going. You do that. I will, there are multiple memes dedicated to when a guy orgasms and a girl keeps like keeps sucking his penis. And it's like, it's just all of these funny reaction memes that go around. But the thing is, is like,

clitoris and penis head are made of the same materials. So imagine how you feel when that happens to you. Imagine that pain. And then put that on her vagina, 8,000 nerve endings. So double it. Double your penis nerve endings. We've 8,000 U4000. I have almost caused bodily harm to my boyfriend

for not backing off. And I had to explain to him, like, yo, that hurts. Like, you just gotta give me a second. But I will say a good tip for that is if you were pleasuring her just literally, she has a literal orgasm, bled your fingers on in, cause after you orgasm, yeah, after you orgasm literally all the blood rushes to your vagina,

your G-spot swells making it more sensitive and easier to find. So you just give her a little, you know, like finger dittel or whatever it's called while you wait for her to warm up and she could have double orgasms on her. Exactly. She could totally do that. You're right. And I have to have a literal orgasm first. I can't. And maybe I'm just telling myself that story and it's not true. But I always believe that I need to knock out the, but that is true because the blood just rushed your clear you become more in gorge science. Gorge, moistly engorge. Tubic mound. Pubic mound. Yeah, she becomes moistly engorge Do you think I don't love pubic pound or pubic mound? Yeah, she becomes moistly engorged right below her pubic mound

And but that it also guys I was thinking that the g-ring could be a cool little Stick it inside thing or pressing it down the pressure on her pubic mound. Okay, so Jason We love you. This is awesome. How fun. I don't know about the Niners. I mean nothing about sports But I do know about this. Oh, and this is just again to bring back to this theme of like what you believe to be true or not. Same thing is about like anal sex too when people I haven't said this in a while either, I think, but like, there's a lot of things we tell ourselves, like, because you had a bad first anal experience that you won't enjoy anal again. I think there's a lot of things that we tell ourselves, we can only like bad boys, we can only like guys who do this or women who do this, or we can't like anal, we can relearn

the stuff. It's not just the stories we tell ourselves are not necessarily true. Hi Emily. I've been listening for several years now and I love the show. However, I'm not sure if you've touched very specifically on the topic of female friendly porn. To be more specific, I feel as though female friendly porn is well lame, at least from what I've seen.

Maybe I'm only speaking for myself here and I'm bisexual, so understanding maybe a bit different I would like to see couples will have intimate but also sometimes very dirty sex a little rough anal etc With both people or if there are more people involved even better having real orgasms I find the porn I have seen is very focused on the female or the male both made for male audiences gay or straight or is Boring and lame as F Can you make any suggestions here? I may be completely wrong on this assessment and know you're the gale to ask. Thanks Emily Lindsay age

27, Canada. Lindsay, you've been seeking out this porn that you believe is you're just haven't found female fairly porn. I get it. So it doesn't necessarily mean that it appeals to all women or that everything that women find is appealing. Because with the porn you're watching is made, a lot of it is made for men by men. They're like, that would be hot to see that. And I just wanna see the com shot or I just think that's really hot. And so I think when people say female-friendly,

like the umbrella term, it's kind of like stuff that's typically worth thinking what most women are gonna like, but we know that every woman is different, every man is different what they find appealing. It's not really a phrase, it's like about like the sex that's depicted and it should, no. We should never think that all porn is like what every woman wants.

Yeah, but what was interesting to me about this is she's describing, she said, female friendly porn is well lame. And then she goes on to describe like, I would like to see a couple having intimate but also sometimes very dirty sex with both people, having real orgasms. That is like the definition

of female friendly porn. Yeah, like literally down to the last word, like having real orgasms, that is the definition of female friendly porn. And then you said the fun, you find the porn that you've seen is very focused on the female or male or both, but it's for male audiences, which is the majority of all porn

that you find on porn hub or browsers or wherever you are. You go, so say you go to PornHub, you click the female friendly tab. And what you're seeing is not actually a depiction of female friendly porn because the truth is most female friendly porn, you have to pay for it because it's all about benefiting the actors and the people who are working on it,

which means that they get money. You're looking at free female friendly porn, which is probably like the really brightly lit, like windows open, curtains blowing, softcore showtime, like, like, cinematics kind of thing. With like lots of plots and themes, they think women like. And that's not, that is porn made for women by men who think they know what women want. Exactly. Exactly. So you're not getting the right female-friendly porn. And I feel you, like you're watching that and you're like, what is this bullshit? Like I'm not into that. But real female-friendly porn. And I feel you, like, you're watching that and you're like, what is this bullshit? Like, I'm not into that.

But real female-friendly porn is completely different. What actually defines it is that it depicts scenes that empower women, doesn't degrade them or portray them in a misogynistic way. So you're not gonna see female-friendly porn that's like, oh, you dirty fucking sl... Oh, sorry, that's okay. I feel like you dirty slut and take it all

and I'm gonna make you cry. You know, like, none of that, you see people enjoying sex even if it's rough. It's always consensual and it's depicted as consensual. You can see it. It just jumps into a dungeon and there's a woman there and you're like, oh my god, are she kidnapped? Like, I don't know how she got here. Like, you see the whole thing played out. It depicts it safely and all of the actors are treated well and ethically. And it's also a lot more inclusive.

So you said that you're bisexual. Well, you will see a lot more queer performers being treated well and ethically. And it's also a lot more inclusive. So you said that you're bisexual. Well, you will see a lot more queer performers being treated well and shown as sexual people and not objects in female-friendly porn. Right, which is like, yeah. Exactly, it's not thinking that the audience is just like just men watching. Has women in mind the whole time.

And like a lot of it is, I would say most of it is, you know, female-friendly directed by women for women. Totally, like, because men really couldn't, like they really couldn't. They really couldn't, they really couldn't, they could try. They know what's all the female friendly porn, I know, is directed by women, written by women, made by women.

So some suggestions we have here. Lust cinemas, Erica Lust produces porn with like the best quality and content made from the feminist. Viewpoint, she's been doing it a while. Everyone always talks about Erica Lust. X Confessions, porn based on reals, people's, real confessions, and they get kinky. Kink.com, you guys talk about consent,

talk about seeing consent, and that feeling like the woman is doing something against her will, they have a huge selection of sex, positive porn on their site, you might not love everything and kink.com, but you can find some stuff on there that would make you feel that you could be watching and not feel bad about it. She really consent to be being strong up and tazered

and then dropped into this cold. I don't even know what they, the dungeons of King, have you watched any of the King.com stuff? I have not. It's pretty intense BDSM porn, but it's also, it's really cool. It's kind of like reality TV porn because they interviewed the women before and after.

And you're like, oh my God, she's tied up like a pretzel, Liz suspended an air and he's spanking her butt into all these crazy things are happening. And like he's got like, he's got like weights on her nipples that are like, you know, like clamps and you're like, oh my God, and then after she's like, oh my God, that was really fun. I like it. It's real. Like she's like taking off the nipple clamps. Like it's really, it is very positive. I know Stanford just go. I used to go there all the time. I never performed, but there were people there. Also, good vibrations, also very female,

sex positive, female friendly, goodreleasing.com. Maybe I could rate vibrations. That was their company, I didn't even know that. I was looking it up and it was like, company me by good vibrations. And I was like, oh my God. But they pride themselves on showcasing the talent of amateur, kind of like up and coming

independent porn producers, which is cool, because you're gonna get a little bit more like raw, real content. And I think just kind of poker, I think that where you've probably been looking is not, even looking for love, even looking for porn in all the wrong places. Exactly, looking for love, no, so yeah, and I think let's do a blog, you guys put it out there to Jayme, that's too post of this, FEMA-friendly porn and like list some of this if we haven't done this lately. We have a blog on glamour. And I think it's on our website too,

if you search female-friendly porn, it's specifically. Do we have these? But I think we could just do some of these. But we'll do more. I would love to do that because actually I've been getting access a lot lately, like out in the world. So let's do that. Yeah, awesome.

Okay, so let's just know how that goes for you guys. You know I love lately I've been saying this that I wanna hear back, like I wanna know know I know a lot of you email me Then you say like you've helped me and the show's been great And I want to know like how mine how you change like I feel like we're all in this journey together And it just love to know what you think about these suggestions Lindsey maybe and your journey now You know, a lot of times you just need something to get into it Maybe you'll find something that we don't know about mm-hmm

So we've left here for me But I do think it's it's harmful to say like I don't like this type of porn or like I'm not into it because like it appeals to females like I don't think that I'm like that. You shouldn't limit yourself in that way until you've really seen a lot of it. That's true. Okay, so I think that's that's what we are doing out of females. But now I have to um I have something to say. And um producer Madison has been here for three years just about just about and say that it's like what a month shy yeah okay about a month Okay, so Madison Madison Madison's leaving sex with Emily, but like you never really leaves a family you're always a part of it and I did not fire her yet I was

fired during the show once that's I was joking but Madison you've been such an incredible I don't even know what say, but Madness said you have been so dedicated and so Devoted and amazing and just a joy to work with over the last three years and you've grown so so much I heard Madness and you guys I know lately I keep talking like obsessed the fact that you cried during your interview Using that as an example, but but she Madness and came as an intern three years ago She really just she's just one to, she was a really hard worker. She came in, didn't know anything about what we were doing here at all. It's her first job out of college, and she just came in and just like kicked ass, like

literally took over everything, learned social media, learned how to produce, learned everything on the job. I'm not the best at training. I don't know at all. She's just been amazing for us. She's been like, like my rock here. And I'm going to miss you so much. You've such an amazing institutional knowledge

of everything and you're just, you're kind and you're smart and you're a hard worker. Like I have to make her go home. Like, I'm just gonna drive by. I'm like the lights are on. It's midnight. Like she's a really hard worker. And so much, you've put so much of yourself

and into the show and her life on the line. Like I'm a sprized boyfriend. So with you, so much that she does put this show first with a lot of things and you know you've had to build the website and make the show so much stronger and and and you made me a better person and a better make the show stronger. I don't even know. I'm just gonna miss you so much and I'm so grateful for your time and your energy and your passion and your brains and your devotion to the show. And I know it's time for you to move on because it's been, you know, it's the first job out of college.

And I get it. And I know you're going to want to do amazing, amazing things here. And you're going to still come back. You're never, once you leave, you're in the family, I feel like you never leave. But I just can't wait to see where you go and what you do because you are one of these rare gems, like very hard worker, very smart, innovative, willing to do anything. And I'm just so grateful for just having known you and having you as part of the staff and the team and for just helping with me and the show. And I love you so much. I love you too. All right. Well, we're going to get emotional here. This is the part right

crying to your ear buds. So enjoy that. But really, I came into this with one, no idea what I was, you know, what I was getting into or how to do anything. I really just applied on a whim and came in for an interview and was like, I'm just gonna give it my all and, you know, wear my emotions right on my sleeve, which is how I ended up crying when Emily asked me, like, a hard hitting interview question. But it's like the fact that I came in and I did that and I was so embarrassed and I left

and was like, oh my god, like, rookie mistake. You cried in an interview, like, who are you even? It's like my first serious interview out of college. And Emily hired me and then, like, a couple months later, we were in the car driving to Vegas, I think, when we were going to ILS and you were like, oh yeah, we knew, right when you came in. It was like after the interview, that's her, we're taking her. And I think it's just kind of a match made in heaven.

It's like all the stars align sometimes and I didn't even think I had anything to offer. You know, like you graduate college and it's just a big world and there's so much competition. All my friends were getting jobs at NBC and like, kiss FM and stuff like that. And I was like, I don't even think that I have anything to like give in the broadcast industry. and all my friends were getting jobs at NBC and KISS FM and stuff like that.

And I was like, I don't even think that I have anything to give in the broadcast industry. It was really questioning it and this opportunity just like, it blossomed. Like, I took to it, it took to me, Emily, and I loved each other from the very beginning. And I'm so grateful for this opportunity like from the bottom of my heart.

So thankful to have found this and been here for three years. Like it doesn't even feel like that long and I've had so much learning that's done. Like growing up three years from coming in at 23 leaving at 26. Like that's a huge part of my life. That is like a huge transitional part of my life. Like if you were to tell you to break up. Exactly. Yeah, I know you feel like, oh my god, like you've done, you've done it enough. And yeah, I'm not, this isn't a breakup at all. Oh, I did not leaving in that sense at all, but I'm gonna go try something different

and see if I can surprise myself elsewhere. Because that's really been it. And I'm so thankful for all the friendships I've made and with Jamie. Jamie's not going anywhere. Fucking incredible. Jamie is so good and Lori and got to meet Ken and all the incredible interns that have cycled back here

that I've just seen me some is an intern T. I know she is James amazing like I remember coming in and like just seeing how Madison works and just being like oh my god Like she's probably been working for so long all stuff and like I mean you look young in your face But the way that you carry yourself like I was like wait a second like you're only like a couple years older than me It's like oh crap. I got a lot of what I want to want to learn even doing, I was just like, no, you literally, like I aspire to be is like put together and you're like your job life. I'm not put together at all.

I bring my fuzzy socks into the office. I think you're the real world. You're something else that I want to say, and you brought up, this is just kind of a good learning moment too, for people is that I think that when you graduate, you're just brought me back to this. When you graduate from college,

I think that it's so scary going out there and you do think you're like, I know nothing. Oh my god, we all, like everyone blies on that resume so you beef up that you had like an internship that we lasted six months and so on, or you know, as a waitress, can I put my summer camp counselor on my, no one cares.

But here's the thing about it. No one's really, this is where you're looking for an interview, okay? No, I'm not looking for like, so why I just do Madison had it? It's not because she had any social media experience, not because I talked about her sex life. It's none of that.

It's because she had that, like, she had any social media experience. It's not because I talked about her sex life. It's none of that. It's because she had that passion to learn. She was just real and authentic. I'm not saying you have to cry, but you're important to be authentic. And I can tell someone who's lying and who's not. And the other thing that you did is that no, you didn't know when you came in here and you could easily have been like, F this because the other thing that's happened in the last three years is my, this cup, I've been doing this for 12 years, but the last three, four years, the company has, the growth has been doing this for 12 years, but the last three, four years,

the company has, the growth has been crazy, it's grown, but doubled every year, everything, our number, I mean, it's been crazy, and you've been here for that. And so, just to kind of do whatever was thrown your way, and be like, I don't know, but I'll figure it out. Like, no, you're nuts, but I didn't expect you to know. No one's hiring you as an intern because you know, I don't expect you to have all this experience,

but I expect you to have the willingness to learn, to show up on time, to kind of be willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done. And if you don't know, Jesus, guys, there's Google. I didn't have Google when I was in, or like, you can figure stuff out and just be willing to work hard and to show up and like pay your dues and do it.

And it pays off. And I think that's something that like, you can't learn in college. You have to learn it like, you know, by doing things. So that's, don't like talk yourselves out of applying for certain jobs or doing certain things because I believe that anyone can do anything if you have that work ethic

and you can, you know, we can all have that. We can all, you know, raise each other up in it. This was literally my dream job and I could not have asked for anything better. That's amazing. And also, thank you to all the listeners and everyone because I've really learned a lot from you. I came in here not knowing anything about sex really and just went and read basically everything Emily had ever written and ever since then

I've just kind of been like learning as I go and Like some of the emails that you guys send in the questions you ask and the feedback you provide has really like shaped me and shaped The show in a lot of ways so you know never stop that it's been one of my favorite one of the most exhausting But also one of like my favorite parts of this is the feedback and what happens in that amazing little inbox that tells us where you guys are at with everything. It's so crazy. And, you know, obviously, thank you, Emily, again,

for everything. Thank you, Lonnie. Aw, I love you. I'm so sweet. Yeah. And the other thing, here's another moment here, you guys. Just like another life moment, because I can relate to both you and Jamie, like I understand, you know, I was in my 20s

ones, but it was funny, like when Madison came in and told me she was leaving and she thought it was time to go, you know, and obviously it wasn't like, it was like two miles, we're like, you're going to stay and we're going to figure it out. Like, it's a very amicable, like, yeah, there literally nothing went down, but she was subscribing. Yeah. She came in crying, she's not crying. But, but in being, and here's the other thing that if you're in a job, and I got,

my heart was like, of course, it's time. Like, I don't know what else you're gonna go on to do, but, but it's like, it is true that in your 20s, kind of like a people used to work places for 30 years. Like, I think you kind of do learn enough, and then you, it's time to move out. I was like, of course, cause you feel like you're letting me down, or I feel abandoned.

I'm like, no, and I will help you find your next job when you figure out what it is, because if you're, so if you're in a place right now, you're like me down or I feel abandoned. I'm like, no, and I will help you find your next job When you figure out what it is because if you're safe So if you're in a place right now, you're like, I can't imagine leaving like there's always something else There's always something more to learn when you feel like it's done if it's whatever We do it. It's like people at least I think when I left jobs it like they're never gonna survive without me They're gonna be mad and maybe some bosses would be but then their assholes because I see everyone's experience like You need to move. I need to keep growing and doing what you love and what you're passionate about.

And I've always said I never want work anyone here. If they're, you know, no, I'm not saying you're not into anymore, but you gotta keep, you know, I don't know. I just support you all on your growth. And Jamie, you're not going anywhere. So I'm here. Ever.

I love you, Jamie. I am. And so thank you for everyone. I guess I send your emails to Jamie. It's excellent. And now, oh, don't give our email. Delete that. No. And that is nice as Madison, so just before Warren.

She's not. But she's bringing awesome in her own. You are nice. I'm nice. I'm just kind of an asshole. Jamie's for on self. OK. So on that note, that is special.

Everyone's done your fault. I feel like the Billy Gareunian show. No, there should be. And like I said, you'll always be around. I'll be doing the show. So I'd be happy to come back anytime. Of course. OK, I love you.

I love you all. Love you, Jamie. Love you, Michael. Michael's new to the family. You're doing sound. He's like, what's going on? A lot of girls. A lot of estrogen in the round.

I'm like, everyone's crying. I don't know what to do. I'm not crying. I know. OK, well, and I love you. Also, all of you don't leave me. My listeners, no. Thank you, everybody, for listening to the show. And thank you, Madison, and I love you all, so all of you don't leave me, my listeners. No. Thank you everybody for listening to the show,

and thank you Madison and Jamie and Michael and Ken. Ken, of course. I love you. Shout out to Ken. Okay, did I already say that you guys should all follow me on social media and do all that stuff too? Say it again.

Do that, follow me. Snapchat, Instagram. It's a good time there. Facebook and subscribe. And thanks for supporting the show. I just love you all. And thanks for listening. Was it good for you? E-Mount me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com.