Sex With Emily - Bangin’ Orgasms w/ Nikki Glaser

Episode Date: May 15, 2021

On this episode, I sit down with the hilarious Nikki Glaser, comedian, and host of The Nikki Glaser Podcast. We discuss how to take oral sex to the next level, why a great orgasm can lead to an intense connection, and the power of tapping into a person’s “energy” on a date.Nikki also shares her go-to sex toys, favorite types of porn, experience with squirting, and personal journey with mental health and body acceptance. We also dive into the hidden pleasure of canceled plans, why feeling horny can be like being drunk, and why your flaws DON’T make you a bad person.Show Notes:Pat Allen - Getting To I DoKink.comBellesaFor more information about Nikki Glaser, visit: nikkiglaser.comFor even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

And Loub, Loub, I was just to be so insecure about having a dry pussy, my God, and I would be turned on. I'd be like, I don't know why it's not working. Now it is no indication of like if I was turned on, a lot of times, guys don't know what they're doing and they, and you can't get there fast enough. But now I'm just like, can I go get Loub and make my life a lot easier yours? Yes. And it makes it so fun immediately!

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that block our sacred institutions. Betrubize they call them in a fight on days. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate conversation around sex. On this episode, I sit down with the hilarious, fabulous Nikki Glazer, comedian and host of the Nikki Glazer podcast, the new show you should subscribe and check it out.

We discuss so many things in this episode. The power of tapping into a person's energy on a date, so you know if you should stay or go, how to take oral sex to the next level, truly take it there. And why a great orgasm can lead to an even more intense connection. Nikki gets into it. She talks about her go-to sex toys, favorite types of porn, her experience with squirting, personal journey with mental health, body acceptance.

Oh, we also dive into the hidden pleasure of canceled plans. Why feeling horny can be a little bit like being drunk and why your flaws don't make you a bad person. All right, intentions with Emily for each episode. Join me in setting an intention. I do it. I encourage you to do the same. So what I mean is when you're listening, what do you want to get out of listening

this episode? How could it help you? My intention is to give you some real sex talk, real relationship talk with someone who does not hold back her opinions, her beliefs, and her deep personal experiences in this episode. Also, we have a new article. It's called the five tips for the best hand job ever. You guys are loving it. Check it out at sexwithemily.com. All right, questions. If you want to ask me questions, just call my brand new hotline 559 Talk Sex or 559 825 5739, all you gotta do is leave me your questions or message me at sexwithemily.com slash askemily. As always, include your name, gender identity, location,

age, and how you listen to the show. Alright everyone enjoy this hilarious fun and inspirational episode. Nikki Glazer is the host of the Nikki Glazer podcast one of the funniest voices in comedy. She's producing hosted several podcasts, television shows, comedy shows, including her special bang-in, which is available on Netflix. Find her on all her social media at Nikki Glazer. Congratulations on all your success, all the cool stuff happening. I've loved watching you do all of your specials and working hard and you continue to reveal yourself and you're so real.

And so you, because the last time I saw you, Nikki, I was teaching you and your mother how to give a blowjob. Yes. And that was like five years ago, and you're like a different person. I loved that blowjob class with my mom. It never aired because we were planning for a season that we never got.

So it's all this lost footage. And one of them is a blowjob class with my mom from you and you were, I learned so much during it. I still remember some of the things like I hear you say, commonly on this podcast that I like heard first heard of the class that have served me and are so such good reminders, because sometimes it doesn't sink in.

Like I kept being like scared of Loub. You shine with all the info you had and also like made fun of. You know, just. Yeah, I know exactly what you're saying. Well, this is what I'm saying. I feel like that was like a scripted show and it was probably your first. Yeah, it was it was a difference. Air of me. Yeah, like it was now you've just don't hold back. You share yourself. You're authentic. You literally talk about everything and you so, so relatable. And I just feel like I, I loved your Howard Stern interview.

I listened to a few of them. I think you're on twice. You're just, I'm so proud of you. I just feel like fucking loving the producer. I have gotten so into your podcast. Podcasts I get, I learned so much from and it's always like, kind of the last on the list of things I do

and I have the free time to do it. I really like, sometimes just video, like porn wins over a lot of times masturbating or podcasting and then I'll just want to go right to bed or ASMR videos. So when I do though go listen to podcast it's always one of yours that grabs me because I follow you on Instagram and you're you they know that you that I like you. So they're giving me everything you got and and I love everything you got. And I've learned so much. But I listened to one episode that I sent to all my friends immediately before it was over because it was talking about the stuff

that we all talk about, which is female male and feminine. John Wyland. It was the John Wyland, because you tweeted it. And I was like, oh my God, and that's just like, I gotta get Nikki on her show

and then I heard about your new Nikki Glazer podcast. I'm like, oh my God. I like what. It's a good one, right? So excited to talk to you, because then I then I was in and I've listened and you got me into audio porn. I tried that out because of you. The thing is it is sexy, but not because it's like we're talking about sex. It's like I get horned up and it's not because you are trying to make me horned up, which is what

I try to do with my comedy. I hate when people are like, your comedy made me want to jerk off later. I'm always just like, ew, like, I don't, that's not what I'm going for, sir. I know you think that's a compliment. But your stuff like gets me, like I always masturbate after I listen to your show. Oh my God, Nikki. And I go in, I did not know.

And you're show because I'm not masturbating. Well, right, well, this is the thing because you, because it is. I have so many things to tell you. Tell me everything. I want to hear. Okay, let me just spell. Okay, when they come to me, dude, you just one time were like,

have an orgasm tonight. You deserve an orgasm tonight. Give yourself when it was some like bold statement that was like, okay, stuff threatening me, Emily. But I was also like, yeah, I'm going to fucking do that. Like, because that night for me, my orgasm seemed to be dependent on another person. And it got me in this space of being like obsessing over that. And it was like,

oh my god, I forgot. I can just like, I miss my born people. Like I was hanging out with a crew every night for years. And now I've abandoned them. I need to stop by kink.com and pay a visit. So this can be enjoyable. Exactly. Your response will for your own pleasure in your own orgasm. I was probably saying that. I love it though. It just like got me. I was like, okay, you're right. I am going to. And I think I wrote, I needed to hear this because I needed you to know that I love those ones that are like, take this as a sign of this. And I like, I fall for that. Yeah, I do. I don't know. Time. Why would you not fall for signs? Like that wasn't really a sign. Yeah, if you let it in and you let it guide you and it's only positive, like what's the worst that could happen?

Yeah, you have an orgasm or two. Yeah, can I just close my podcast first and we'll get that out of the way? I was just about to. Yeah, I know you were. I'm railroading this. Okay, so my podcast, it's four days a week, guys. It's not a podcast where you'll feel like,

oh my God, I haven't listened to all of them because we started about like a month ago, I think. And so we do it four days a week, Monday through Thursday, it's with my best friend and my platonic roommate, who is also a single guy. He's my best friend. He opens for me on the road, hilarious community in Andrew Collin.

We started living together during the pandemic because all my friends are like, shacked up and my parents were kind of like, you gotta go, it's been 10 months. So I was like, Andrew, will you move to St. Louis? So I moved my friend from New York to St. Louis where I spent the pandemic. I was previously in New York, but lived will you move to St. Louis? So I moved my friend from New York to St. Louis, where I spent the pandemic. I was previously in New York, but live there since March

in St. Louis and got him to move there. And I was like, and also be my co-host on my podcast. So I do a podcast every morning that's kind of like a morning radio show. Like I love Stern. I love like creating a continual interaction. And yeah, eventually just do that and set it stand up because it's very rewarding. And it's the same thing I talk in everyone has to listen.

Right, exactly. It is the same thing. I mean, but it's great. It's so entertaining. It's so listable. I listen to your first few and then I caught up with some this week and you kind of just dive in

and I'm like, I've just been entertained. I just listen for an hour. I do have an hour. Thank you for saying that because sometimes they do feel guilty because I don't go in very prepared and I kind of just wing it. And I want to be honest with the people,

I put in a lot of work into conceiving of a podcast and a thing that I could do the rest of my life. I would like to do an iteration of the show until I'm dying. Because on the radio you can be any age as long as you're still entertaining. When I listen to Hartsirne,

I don't go, this is a man-my-dads age. It feels relevant still, it feels smart, it feels like you don't think about age and I think so much of this business, especially on the women's side is about age. Exactly, that's why I got into radio. I started this 16 years ago and there was no video, there was no social media, it was great

because I could just show up and now you got to do the cameras and all the things. But I liked it and on your podcast, I was listening. It's called the Nikki Glazer podcast. Sorry. The Nikki Glazer podcast. We're going to link to this in the show note so they can easily subscribe. Thank you. Thank you so much for that. It's just so fun. It's honest. It's talking about sex and relationships. The episode we did today was so I'm so proud of it because it pretty much breaks down the book on getting to I do by Dr. Pat Allen, which is what I understand

like the Bible of this feminine masculine energy. At least one of them early ones in the title is humiliating, but the stuff in that book when you're ready to actually accept it and move from a place of like ready to like let that book in your heart. It really teaches you a lot about yourself. And I like feel like I conveyed that enough to get convinced girls to read it. What do you think about it? I gotta be honest, I never read it, but it's not like the rules or anything. It's really about the masculine feminine, what you're as a woman, what you're bringing,

your energy, what to find in a man. It's about having a self virtue and understanding why your body might lead you astray physiologically because of the oxytocin that's released when you have sex, but it's essentially like a calling to women to realize that if you want a commitment, don't sleep with a guy until you get a commitment. And that's an easy way to get a guy. It's not the only way there are plenty of women who sleep with men and then eventually it leads to-

She says that. What else did she say? Because I don't agree. I don't know that I grew with that. I know. There's definitely exceptions to that rule. It's not a rule, but let me tell you, the people that do it, end up with good things. Based on what I've seen of my own friends who have picked up the book since I was told about it by Whitney Cummings when I was stage like four years ago. I hear over and over again,

like literally she's one of those people that you always hear like Pat Allen. I wasn't ready to read it all because I didn't know what the fuck I was. I was like, I'm a boss bitch. I make all the decisions in my life. On stage, I'm like very intimidating apparently. I didn't know that, but I just exude this like thing

of like she knows herself. She loves herself. She's confident. I was faking that then. I mean, I, if I was trying to be honest, but if that was what was coming across, like you have me wrong and I was not that confident. I didn't know if I was a masculine energy or feminine energy. I didn't know if I was the woman I was on stage and in the workplace.

She says you're either one person is having their feelings cherished and the other person is having their thoughts respected. You have to choose one. And if you don't, your relationship is kind of doomed because you have to have the end in the yang. So one person has to be receiving, the other one has to be giving and then you have to keep in that kind of setting. So you have to decide,

do you want your feelings cherished by your romantic lover or do you want your thoughts respected? Because you can't have it both ways or you're a narcissist. So you've got to pick one and you have to get the other one met in somehow other part of your life. And that's a hard one for me to decide because sometimes with sex, I like to be submissive.

I would never want to be the dominant. I've never even tried it, but it doesn't appeal to me. Well, it makes sense because if you're the boss and every part of your life, and I'm the same way, I'm a boss in the bedroom, I'm like, I don't want to be in charge. Yeah, it's not abnormal to be a boss bitch out here. And that's usually the thing. Yeah, but I also, I don't know about the feelings thing or the thoughts because I do like I think I like one it both ways And I think I had to really get to know myself and realize that I was hurting myself by seeking one of those things

In a romantic part or I'd have to let one of those go and find it elsewhere And I think this book only works because I actually like myself now like I'm okay with I accept it Like I'm there and I always heard about this mystical place and it can go away so quick, but I really do feel I am like 95% at this like great place with stuff. That being said, I'm at the weight I like to be at. My hair is feeling thick. My skin isn't too clogged up.

Like, things are good. If those things took a turn and that I couldn't control, I might have a slip up of like, oh my god, I'm fat or whatever. But I hope I don't. I feel a quick process. It's a process. A handle agent. Okay.

Good. Because I would use always not like this book, because I'm like, it's pretending to be someone you're not. But the reason it is is because the person the book asks you to be is someone who loves himself. And I took that as like, I'm not a girl who is going to not have sex until I want to have sex. I like sex. I want it. to not have sex until I want to have sex. I like sex. I want it. The thing is, yeah, we all like sex. Like that's why I'm a vegan.

Some people go, I could never do veganism because I love cheese too much. And I was like, do you think I didn't like cheese? Like you have to sometimes sacrifice things that you like to do the right thing. You know, it's not about like what you like. So I understand you like sex. You want to have it. But if you do wish to have the best course for yourself in finding a partner, it's something that is going to make you bond to him in a way that he is, his work is done. Like your oxytocin that releases if you have an orgasm while he's inside you in some way and like really chemically physically bond to him, the oxytocin that I got released for us have us, have an organism is so much more than it takes

for a man. This is what's in the book. So we get this crazy high and you get addicted. And then you have two years of that addiction that takes two years, sometimes to wear off two years. So don't sleep with them until you know they might not be the person that you're going to end up with, but don't sleep with them until they at least agree to try. Okay.

I see what you're saying about. Do I have to choose that he honors my thoughts or my emotions? Yeah. And it's kind of like he's already there and attracted to you because he honors your thought. Like he honors who you are. He sees you every day using your thoughts and your brain. But what the masculine and what I just want to clarify to the listeners, it doesn't,

it could be two men, two women. You need the polarity of a masculine and feminine every relationship. Masculine, they want to fill your energy. That's how they thrive off of a feeling. Feeling. Being vulnerable and feeling. And that's hard too. Someone who just feel all the time and they lose. Yeah, I'm vulnerable.

I said I'm vulnerable to my guy the other day and he's eyes open. I'm like, I'm feeling vulnerable. He was like, boing. When you talk from a place of feel, if a guy's a masculine energy and you're in your feminine energy, they lap it up. They love it.

And it's like that always used to scare me because I grew up not having my feelings, my feelings very much invalidated at every turn. I was always too crazy, too emotional. You didn't even know that person, why are you crying about them dying? Like that kind of like thing, like you're not allowed to feel sad at all

because it just scared my parents. So they shut it down. So in a relationship, I am so scared to ever voice my feelings because I feel like the person just gonna be like, what's your crazy, I'm gone, bye. And so I just keep it in, but that's what I want more than anything.

I know exactly, right? It's almost like be the person you want to find is one of the things I find helpful to think about. And also we're already there. This book isn't asking you to not call them back and don't be available on a Wednesday on a Friday. If they ask you for free, it's more like digging to this part of your feminine that you've probably blocked for a million reasons.

Your family didn't accept it. You had abuse, you had trauma, but that she's still in there. She's still in there. It let her be right back after this quick word from our sponsors. When we get back, I asked Nikki about her sex life and the key to fully accepting yourself. So how was it going there that came in islands? Because I was listening to your podcast

and said you were sleeping with somebody. I'm not, that's the thing I'm not sleeping with someone. I'm always so honest about everything in my sex life. And I will continue to be when this thing has worked its way out. But I feel like for the first time I'm kind of like honoring my privacy around it in terms of like talking about it. Because first of all, I'm too emotional about it in many ways. But I have to say that the principles set forth

in this book have left me in a place where I could have been in the throes of pain and agony and crying and burdening my friends with these drown out like sob fest and just putting on my noise, canceling headphones and letting her rip because I don't know how I'm even comfortable crying. Like, it really is, it could have been immensely painful. And because I, like, did not have sex,

even though I did want to so badly, I held steadfast and I remembered that, when I've done that before, to get a guy to love me, when I thought that this thing, they want so bad and they promise you everything when they want it so bad. And it's like, it seems like they would give you everything. Don't trust it unless you actually know it.

You know, if you're just like feeling on it. Have you ever said unless you want to? That's about being embodied. Like, what does my body right now? What I wanted to emulate, that's the thing I want to. Oh, you do really want to, because for your own pleasure. I never wanted anything more in my life, and I was anorexic for many years,

and I was around food that I would kill, to be able to shut down sex when you really want it. Listen, you get, that's why I love sex. I don't drink anymore, but I get drunk off of horningness. I do things I never thought I would do as a rationally thinking one. Like what? Just like disgusting stuff or like, you know,

like licking an asshole, like I never thought I would do that. But like sometimes when you're horny, you just like kind of are like, ah, like it's like, since I don't know another high like that. Yeah, I mean, I'm like, I love it, but I don't have it. I haven't had it since June of 2019. Stop it, no sex since June. No, nothing.

Not even like a hand. I have one new since 2013. Like I haven't, I haven't had a new deacon since the- Are they lining up? But do you have someone like just your DMs, just kind of swapping away all the dickheads? I have, what the fuck? I have opportunities.

The men that throw themselves at me are not that desirable to me. It just isn't what I'm into. I kind of, I tend to, I need to already like someone and know that I want them inside me before I agree to enter it from the friend zone to the romantic stage. So I don't even, I don't like entertaining the idea

of having sex with someone until I'm positive. I would have sex with them. And that's like a lot of my issues, but I don't really, like, unless you're someone I already am familiar with because of being a celebrity, that way, sometimes I'm like, oh, I feel like I know him, I heard him talk.

I've like maybe masturbated to a scene he did before. Feel like, do you go out with his celebrity or do you go out with celebrities? Are you, yeah, if I liked them, if I was genuinely like, yeah, it's not really about what they do, right? It's about what you're attracted to. But I find that most actors are insufferable.

I find that, but in the way that I am, like I need to be with someone who can like really like sit back and just watch me be loud and like seeking attention and being up. And they just go, my ideal guy is just like, there she goes. Like at a dinner party, just like, actually laughing, but just kind of tired of it. That's my ideal, but not resentful, not like, that resentful. Like he thinks it's adorable, but now it's time to leave the party so I don't go home

and go down in our for an hour. If you're into that sort of thing. If that's what I want to, in that state of my life. But yeah, I do have questions about the orgasm though. Do you're into that sort of thing. If that's what I would, that's what I want to, and that stays in my life. But like, yeah, I do have questions about the orgasm, though. Do you believe anything about this like addictiveness of the orgasm? And also, I read this, let me be honest, I read like four pages of cupids, poison arrow about the female and male orgasm and how it like ruins our relationships and how women get super depressed after them and how you shouldn't be having them all the time. Do you know about any of that?

And if you've heard of people. No, but I think women should. All I know is I go back to, you know, eons ago when women were actually, if you look at the tantric sex and you look at all these practices around women that women, the orgasm, and we have an orgasm, it gives us life.

It's our life force. Women can have up to like 226 orgasms a day, and that's fine. Men would be better off in this paradigm of limiting their ejaculation and orgasm with ejaculation, and then learning how to have multiple orgasms through bringing the energy of the orgasm through their body. So that's a whole other practice. Can I ask you, do you have orgasms with men every time?

Yeah, if it's done right. During penetration? You know what, not if I don't also have a vibrator. If I have a vibrator too, it's guaranteed. And I'm not always guaranteed the vibrator by myself, though. That's the thing. I need both the man and the vibrator for a guarantee. Now if I'm by vibrator alone, I'm about 75%.

I can get there. If I'm with a guy alone, also 75%. But guaranteed with both. So when guys are insecure about toys, I'm like a guy alone, also 75%, but guaranteed with both. So when guys are insecure about toys, I'm like, I can't without you either. I need you. You're part of this for me. Right. Well, that's the thing. It's like bringing them along with the experience. I find that the guys who are insecure are insecure that thought of it, but once they try it with you and they're like, that's really hot. And they like the feeling of it. Guys like it on their shaft too. You have so much work.

Like I need a lot of pressure and I need a lot of simulation because I'm just kind of like numb down there and that's what's so good about listening to you is like you've reminded me like, think about your vagina like go there and I just don't feel like my body. I'm like shut off in places and that's one of them.

And now I'm just starting to like, just go to what feels good both for sex and have no like shame about it. No judgment around it. And also just for myself, like what feels good to me, like I'm a messy person for years, I've been like disgusted with myself for being,

I'm too messy to have a boyfriend, no one wanna live with me, I have to pretend to be clean and I'm living a lie. But the thing is, I'm not a bad person because I'm messy. I have, my brain is that of someone who is not organized and there are terrible things about that but there's also good things about it and just who cares and the person who's mental love me will love me for that to exactly murder or because I sometimes eat out of the same dish that I haven't washed it in between but

I'm eating the same tears of a little oatmeal from before is still in my own like disgusting stuff like that that you're like oh I'm I'm a troll, no one will love me. I've let that go and the sexual things I'm into, I'm very like, I was able to like show a guy the toys I use, like all of them and walk him through it and like, be very like not shameful about how I need three toys when I'm by myself to come. People don't even think to pair of,

I love having an internal vibrator, the external vibrator, then you bring in the, I know you like the womanizer because you mentioned in your band. And so what I do, I think my best approach is like starting with the wand over the sheets, as I'm like looking for the porn that I want.

I got all these toys from Bolesa, which I also wear, I watch my porn. I do kink.com and Bolesa. And those are, and I pay for those, because I think I just feel good about paying for porn. It makes me feel like it's ethically sourced. I love it. Those are both great choices.

I am into some weird stuff and it's okay. And I don't want to talk about it. Not weird, but I watch porn that I never thought I would watch, like fisting, fisting. There are times I watch it where I'm like, I have to like find a way to do this someday because I'm always like, the ways I watch romcoms and like picturing, I'm Meg Ryan and you've got male when I watch it or I'm picturing myself is like, when Harry Mets, like you just put yourself in it,

I put myself in porn and sometimes I'm like, I wanna live this life. So there's part of me that, you know, if you find someone and you, that they're not into that, it's like, oh no, what am I going to do? But I think that's just a discussion because I don't find it to be the same as romantic sex. I got to tell you something, Nikki,

that what I believe in what I found in these years is that most people are going to be into what you're into or a version of it. And if they say no right away, they don't know. And they have no idea. It's like, each time, I guess they're true. I'll get you there. I have a quote. I can just look at my search history and see how fast we should. So what is the thing? I don't, it's not even forcib, but that's the negative connotation. What if it's like, oh my god, I just found what I never thought I would be into watching festing. never. And especially like, sometimes I'm like,

her hand is too small. We need something like, I want, my favorite porn is women doing feats of like, that still feel good and don't hurt them. Like I don't like multiple penises in one hole. That is not cool. Like for me at least because I picture myself and I'm like, oh, that would like hurt.

Although if like a hand, I don't know why I can kind of accept that more. Usually because they do it like in a methodical fashion that like isn oh, that would hurt. Although, like a hand, I don't know why I can kind of accept that more. Usually because they do it like in a methodical fashion that like isn't going to hurt the girl, the stuff that I watch at least. But like multiple dicks, I'm like, I don't like it. But then like, DP or like stuff like that, like where a girl. Double penetration. I have on this show and we're wrapping up and I go, what are you doing next and guys?

Like, I'm going to go DP in Florida, like director of photography. I know a lot of girls are DP in Florida. I hear that's like a booming industry. There are a lot of female DP's now in your crew. And he's like, really? And I was like, do not get DP. Don't go, no, he actually was like, I hear this joke all the time.

But yeah, I like stuff like, okay, I guess the weirdest thing, gang bangs, common fantasy, very common the weirdest thing. Gangbangs. Common fantasy, very common for women. But yeah, common. And then this is the one where I started to be like, I like forced orgasms, that's my new thing. Because I didn't even know if it was a subgenre. But I found it on Reddit and stuff on there.

I'm like, I just like girls being forced to come because I struggled to come. So if you tell me to do something, I'll do it. But I like to, I live my life very much reward-based. You don't get to have that unless you earn it. And so I wanna earn an orgasm because they feel so good. I wanna feel like, why am I getting this present?

I did something, I'm getting a sticker. And then I can really, I push orgasms away because I'm like, no, it can be better. I feel a better one coming and then I lose it. And I'm like, oh, you do, even with all the toys? Oh my God, I pushed them away constantly. Like, it is my instinct to not come. I didn't, the first time I had an orgasm was,

I was 21. One, okay. And the next time that I was like regularly coming was 24 and then took a real, like 25. You were 25? Yeah, that's why I have this job to, like, what the fuck? I was like, I never had organized it. I never made it.

I didn't even know it was a thing. When did you get, like, wild? Like, when did you get, like, very, like, I can talk about anything? Like, what was it for you? Probably, it was starting this podcast because I realized I didn't know anything about it and I thought,

But what true you don't want to talk about it publicly anyway? Like, when most people are like, I don't want to talk about that. Well, there's just like 15 years ago and I honestly, but what true you don't want to talk about it publicly anyway? Like when most people are like, I don't want to talk about that. Well, this was like 15 years ago and I honestly was like, why do I keep getting to relationships with guys where I'm faking orgasms? I'm not asking for what I want. I'm so into their pleasure over my own. Is this what sex is all about?

And I literally thought it was the only person I did. So I thought, I'm going to interview everyone I know about their sex life and their relationship. And that's where the podcast started. Like in my living room in San Francisco, friends came over, I was like, what? And I was like, oh, everyone's made me feel the same way. But they're not, yeah, they are, they still are. But not if we talk about it with our partners or anyone.

The more we talk about it, the less weird it is. I love talking about sex. And it's sometimes that kind of shocks people. Like I was just on this show. And it's like, we were setting up a shot and I was just waiting and someone was talking about they were reading books. And I was like, what are you reading? And he was like, oh, it's book about tantric sex. And I was like, oh my God, that's so fascinating. Like, what are you learning? And someone accused him of hitting on me. And I go, I asked

him what book he was reading. He didn't lie. And I have an interest in sex. It doesn't mean that we are going to have sex. Like, we can talk about this without it being like, oh god, this is inappropriate, but some people are triggered by that stuff, so I guess I should be mindful. Okay, but wait, I wanna go back to the toys. What I use is I'll use a wand or a little clitoral toy, and then when I wanna have like an internal orgasm,

I'll bring out like an internal vibrator. I love the rave by we vibe, just that goes inside, and then you can have like crazy orgasm. So I think it's fun. And I think that with partners, when you show them, like, well, that's what I've done. I'd be like, wanna see something cool because I actually, have you ever taken a look

at your vagina? Have you ever looked at it with a mirror? I mean, yes. I think I have. I don't love to do it because it's not, like, it's a little bit of a, like, I've just accepted that I am what I am down there and I don't like to like stay down there too long.

I don't like to look at my body in any way too much and not because I don't love it, but because I'll find things to not like and I'd rather just like it and just gonna be blind. Like I don't like looking at pictures of myself right after I take them. I don't want to, like,

I don't either. Because later on, I'll be able to convince myself that I've changed into that picture if I don't like it. And if I do like it, oh, I still look like that., I don't either. Because later on, I'll be able to convince myself that I've changed in that picture. If I don't like it, if I do like it, oh, I still look like that. So I like protect myself. So like, I do look at my vagina when I'm having sex and like getting more into like seeing a guy go down on me, but that's good.

That's good. I'm comfortable to me, but that's so intimate, I think. I think that eye contact during sex in general is very intimate. So like looking down there, if they look up, you're just like, oh my god, what's happening? So, uh, what did you see down there? Are you turned off? Are you leaving? Did you hate my vagina? Yeah, yeah. Exactly. I mean, I've talked so much about my vagina acceptance. And it's like, I'm still not over it. That's the thing. It's like, I'm, I'm like, 90% there. Like I said,

like I really accept my body like 90% time. I'm like, a okay. And sometimes I look gross. I'm just like, I just laugh now Now I'm like, it's so funny, like how you look right now as opposed to like, you look disgusting. Well, I was listening to your podcast too and you were talking a little bit about how you do that and how you were getting better at it, but you check yourself.

You check the messages that we tell ourselves, what does not service at all. And that like you keep saying you're almost there, you're almost there. I've told you that I think body acceptance and loving ourselves and the negative self-talk never goes away, ever. But you have better coping mechanisms,

so they're less... Yeah, they can flare up. And then it just goes, whoop, but then it goes out the door, goes out the door. I got to a place of this, and this is really new for me. It's like a, it's a year old to feel this way. Okay.

Liking myself and being like kind of accepting, and I'm not even, it's not even that long. I would say it's like it's been six months of like, really feeling like, okay accepting and I'm not even, it's not even that long. I would say it's like it's been six months of like really feeling like okay and feeling good and it's getting, it's just getting honest about like the behaviors in your life that you're doing that are destructive and not having to even fix them but just getting honest about them, you know? Like you said it when you said accepting yourself you said it earlier you said something like I I owe them messy like on the same way I'm messy I've seen this guy comes over and other, if no one's been here,

like to click, it's a mess. And I'm like, I know you're judging me because it's like messy and shits everywhere, but my house is my wharf is now and shits all over. I got a dog. Yeah. All the things. I'm not a bad person because of that. I'm not unlovable. This is what my therapist is, which is like, yes, that's true. Maybe you're messy, for example, with this, but it doesn't mean you're a bad person. You're not level because it's just not a thing. Your brain is meant is good. My brain is.

Did you say you had ADD because I ADHD? Yeah, well, I was like wildly depressed over the summer. I was living with my parents where I didn't, wasn't even trying to get my knee feelings met. And then I was also not able to do stand up every night. I was podcasting every day, but I felt just fell into a depression. And I wasn't on meds anymore. I had been like, oh, I'm just meditating now

and it was going well for a while. But then I just got walloped in like August and everything was good. I just hosted Jimmy Kimmel. Yeah, amazing. Yeah, so I said, I had a lot of things going on. So, you know, for my parents to hear me crying and saying, like, I don't want to, like, live anyway.

I just want to sleep because sleep is better than, like, my dreams are just more entertaining than my life. And I just, I, like, hated my life. And it was just in such despair, such, like, a depressed brain. But I had to do a podcast every fucking day over the summer that I agreed to do. But then I started to lose my mind. I started to go get so depressed that you follow me

through, like, days where, like, I was just like asking for help. I could tell people got worried, my listeners got worried because I would just be honest with them because I couldn't be anything but I was just like, I am crying a lot today. I'm very depressed, but some people reached out to me and were like, hey, maybe it's depression, but also maybe you have ADHD because it presents

in women differently and then I looked into it and I was like, oh, I relate to a lot of this. So that's also how my acceptance of being messy and disorganized and talks too fast and talk too much. It's like, okay, I have ADHD. And it's for whatever reason, having a label makes you accept it. Like it's not my fault.

Even though when I was anorexic, it was totally my fault. But like there's certain things that it's not at your fault. And other things, it's like, you get no sympathy because you chose this gym. It's like no one chooses to be diseased. So, it just help, like, did you get medication? Or like, yeah, costly though. I had to pay like $1,000 to go get assessed out of pocket.

And then, so it's like not affordable to get a diagnosis late in life because they suspect you have wanting to get speed and like, you know, get aterol or whatever. And it turns out I do have it. And then I was able to get treated for it. And now my life is, I just like myself so much more ever since then, really. But it's not that happened because of like getting my like eating disorder finally under control, which is another whole thing. But. Oh my God. You can't, which is another whole thing. But.

Oh my God, you can do it. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it. I mean, thank God for COVID, truly, because I needed that kind of bottom of depression, and also like, why is my life ruled by when I eat?

This is how. How'd you get that under control? That's a big one. It is a big one. I realized that it was not something I could continue doing. I didn't want it my life and I would do anything I could to make it stop. And so I gave up essentially and asked for help. And if anyone relates to this struggle with EnuSorters, you can reach out to me on Instagram and ask how I did it. And I can do that for me. It's like you said, it never goes the way. It's that you at any time and you sometimes will drop your guard

and see it and wanna, like, I checked into this hotel and there's a scale. There should never be a scale in a hotel room. You're on vacation. I mean, the Cayman Islands with a scale to just torture rich people and make them feel worse about themselves while they're already having to wear swimsuits for the first time in a while.

Like, get the skills out of hotels. I want to launch a campaign. Why the close up mirrors too? I don't want to, are you trying to get me to kill myself? Like literally their notepad should say like final thoughts or like like there's so many things this hotel room that are set to make me amaze off close up mirrors terrible lighting in the bathroom. I mean, not this one.

This actually has really good lighting. So it's only good to apply. You came in islands. Yes. in the bathroom. I mean, not this one. This actually has really good lighting. So it's really good to apply to you. Kamey an islands. Yes. You're on for your own. You're on for your own. Get the scale out of my room because I was tempted to weigh myself because I just lost weight because I was on a show and I tend to get really excited and like.

We can't talk about the show is right. We don't know yet the show. No, it's like it's a, it's a, I can't wait to talk about it and promote it, but it's like it was a dream. I just had the best time of my entire life and I am so lucky. Like I, I have been lucky with this life that I have. It's all doing my job. I tell you, I've seen how that your ascension and all the things you're doing

and how you keep evolving and growing and becoming more yourself. I just don't lie anymore. I never lie. I quit lying this year. I can always tell the truth without. I feel appreciated. And not tell someone they're fat.

It's not like you have to like, if someone asks you that they look fat, you can say there's, I think there's more flattering things. You don't even have to say no. And we all know. You just, just be honest, and that is freed me. So yeah, it's like, but the sex stuff is brutal too. Okay, Tim, let's go to the sex stuff.

I want to, I want to have sex so bad. Okay, we gotta take a quick break when we come back. Nikki and I give tips for pleasing a clitoris. Stay with us. I know like watching your special and that flicks your bang and special, right? Yeah, but you talk about like you love when someone sucks under a clitor, you don't.

I do like it. And I think I should try to do it, but the problem is, I said that before I had realized that I have a very microscopic Clint. It might be the reason for some of my issues. And guys can't really get as good of a suction as like toys have. And I was under illusion that they all could

and literally none of them can. So I don't want anyone writing me being like, I can get that spot baby. It's just going to take time. I haven't had a mouse. I haven't been able to work with anyone on that technique, but I think generally women's clits are large enough that a guy, a guy you sucking on them would feel very good for a woman and lead to probably an orgasm that she hasn't had before with also finger and sex. Have you had great oral sex? Yes. My first orgasm was oral sex, actually.

So actually one guy has been able to really do that efficiently. And I don't mean to say that, and that is no slight to my other lovers of my life who have been amazing. And I didn't even want oral because all the other stuff was so fucking good. I didn't care. But there's, it usually I'm like, don't even try. It's too complex down there. And I think that first guy just did it and like,

I made it. I made it with the first time. It was babble. But Nikki has nothing to do with the size of your clitoris because do know that the clitoris, there's all these nerve endings in your labia. I know what they said. They said the whole thing, you're right. That would be good.

But let me show you this. This is my Volvo puppet. So here's your clitoris, right? Like this is a little bulb. But it doesn't matter. It extends behind here. There's 8,000 nerve endings that go behind the label. Yeah. It's like a shaft. It's a shaft. So if they do this part, that might give you an orgasm as well. Thank you for that. That's what I'm telling you. Oh, that's a matter of

hands. Yes. That was a game changer. I'm like, oh, this can make me come because the dude, that's cool. Because the clitoris, this is what do a lot when they match. I lost the head of my clitoris, but there's a head. This is the internal clitoris right behind here. I see where you think you're stroking that part. The little bulb just pokes out.

So no matter how big or small your clitoris is, this is behind it. They stroke the labia is all freaking nerves. Yeah, that is truly helpful. To get into the bedroom next time. Yeah, I will. And I like and Loub and Loub Loub. Yeah, that is truly helpful to me. So just take that into the bedroom next time. Yeah, I will.

And I like- And Loub. And Loub. Loub, fucking Loub, I was just to be so insecure about having a dry pussy, my god. And I would be turned on. I'd be like, I don't know why it's not working. Now it is no indication of like if I was turned on

on a night, sometimes it is. But a lot of times, guys, don't know what they're doing and you can't get there fast enough. So I would always spit on my hand. But now I'm just like, can I go get Loub and make my life a lot easier yours? And it makes me feel like I'm dead. I just don't give a fuck, guys don't care.

They don't give a fuck, they're like, okay, great. And then they try Loub just like when they try a vibrator and they're like, could you bring that Loub? I even had guys that I just slept with a few times break up with, they're like, what was that Loub we used for? And they're like, great spread the Loub. But you've had a year to figure it out too. You've been in your body, you've been in sex.

You got to have that, but on my parents' house. And also, I didn't get my period for two years. That's the other thing. This is all, I mean, together because I was so fucked up from like stress and running myself ragged and having an eating disorder that was completely manageable and undetectable and just like not treating my body well that I wasn't getting my period.

And I was like, why can't I be skinny and not get my period? Like I don't get why these models get to get pregnant and stuff, but my body stops working. So I'm not gonna address my eating stuff. I'm fine, I'm the size as models that have babies, but for some reason my body would not be able to, because even though I don't want kids right now, I'm not necessarily-

You do want kids, do you want them eventually? I don't know, if I do I think adoption is like I would not be able to conceive. Even though I don't want kids right now, necessarily- Do you want kids, do you want them eventually? I don't know. If I do, I think adoption is like, I would have no problem doing it. So there's no rush for me. Like I'll do it when I want to in the way that I want to, but I would never feel like I was getting less of an experience by not having my own.

But if I can do it, maybe, but like, so the pressure's kind of off for me in a way. Okay, good. But I did want my period because it makes you more fog. It's like, I'm working on my body and I can't get wet for anyone. I don't even have flirtation with anyone. My body is shut down at things I'm met up azzle.

I changed my diet and I just started eating like a normal person and actually treating myself well and not starving myself ever. And then I also just went and got my hormones checked and got on some supplements that are fucking costly. So this shit isn't for like all costly. It's all is so expensive. None of these fixes, but there are ways also of addressing these issues that are free. And if again, if you want to Instagram message me and be like, I really how can they find you? It's Nikki Glazer. Nikki Glazer. And it might take me a bit

to get back to you because there's a lot of stuff in there and mostly dudes saying, I love your podcast, but yeah. You may have to take care of our own hormones. No one else is telling us what to do. No one is happy women's health, no one's prioritizing it. The thing is about this, like, I want to go back to closing out the whole thing about sex and like not having sex. You can have sex.

You can have someone who's like a hook-up person that you truly don't want a relationship with and you're like, if you can get that with someone, get it. This is about someone who you want more from. Right. So have all the casual sex you want and know the risks of maybe being attached to someone a little bit more than you would anticipate. But if they're truly someone that you haven't gotten attached to yet, keep sleeping with

them, keep them in your life, like get them to satisfy your needs, like do that. All you want. But we're just talking about what someone would want to do. We're going to relationship. I always say this. I don't tell people to go sleep needs. Like do that. All you want. We're just talking about what someone is going to relationship. If you, I always say this, I don't tell people to go sleep with people where they're way. I say that you do get a tattoo. You have sex with someone and then you get so attached to the sex that you can't see the red flags waving

in the distance and you see like blocks all that out, the rationale and then you might get to be maturely attached to someone. So I always think it's better to get to know someone like what's the rush? You can make out. You can do it. Why do you gotta rush?

But what are you doing? We can bet. We can bet to have sex. It will happen. It will present itself and it'll be so fucking good because then I'll be, I won't be worried about what's gonna be on the other side of it. You know, I can never control what's on the other side,

but I have more safety proceeding with something that's very, I do hold very sacred and it's my favorite thing to do. Once I do let the animal out of this cage, oh my God, it's so fun and I love it. You seem so fun. It doesn't mean I get to binge on it. Like it has to be a special thing. It's like I can't, I can't.

How do you meet guys right now? How do you meet them? Do you get fixed up or you want an apps? I asked my friends to fix me up. I try to put it out there pretty openly that I'm on. Like, you know, I did Conan and I talked about like what I try to put it out there pretty openly that I'm I'm on like you know I did Conan and I talked about like what I was looking for it was a base around jokes So people are throwing themselves at me thinking I really want someone with a golfer's asshole

I mean it was just a joke. I don't even know what that means. I was saying like I want to guy with swimmer shoulders Runners legs and like a golfer's asshole and people are like I might have a golfer's asshole I'm like no that was a joke and I don't like guys like sliding in unless there may be a someonefer's ass, so I'm like, no, that was a joke. But I don't like my joke, so. Yeah, I don't like guys like sliding in, unless there may be someone that's like someone I'm already familiar with, either through friends. I've met you before or worked with you or like your celebrity that I can like research and like look into, but I usually don't like,

I like to be the aggressor. I like to be like, okay, now I like him and shift into that. So it's usually people, I'm just around like other comedians, people I work with. Have you did other comedians? Would you do that? Yeah, oh yeah, I love comedians. And I'm, because being a comic as a man is very sexy.

It's like, when I watch a guy kill and is so funny, not really on stage, I mean, I used to be more enchanted with that before, but now I'm like, as good as those guys. I see the magic tricks and I'm just some, like, some stuff really impresses me. Like, there are guys in gals that I'm like, I could never do that and I aspire to be that authentic

or that witty or that creative. But in terms of like being horned up from a guy, like girls get tricked all the time because comics are like, they look famous or guy on stage with a microphone. It's so hot. Yeah, exactly. They're so hot. Yeah, exactly. They're so hot.

But I just hope that men like want to be better because you're not done yet. No one's done. People that are just like, I don't need to work on myself. What's that? Get out of your life. If a guy doesn't believe in therapy or working on himself, I'm out.

Like these are the things that I've learned as I've gotten older and more mature, dated many people. I'm just like, if you haven't done the work, you haven't taken the first step on the journey. I'm out. Like you're not even curious about how you might want to be done. If you think you're done, like you think you the way you live your life is great. And it's like the way it's meant to be lived. Like you, first of all, you're so delusional because I'm looking at it. And I'm very, there's so many red flags that need to be addressed,

that I cannot enter into this unless you at least acknowledge them. Maybe you're not ready to change them, but if you can see that, I gotta go. Yeah, but I gotta ask you the five quicky questions, Nikki. Yes, I'll guess. You just add some quickly. What's your biggest turn on? Someone who's comfortable with themselves. Biggest turn off.

Insecurity. What makes good sex? Love. What's something you tell your younger self about sex and relationships? You never have to do anything to a penis because it presents itself. Men do this all the time where they pull their penises out before you want them out. And you're just kind of like, oh, I guess it's penis time and you start doing stuff and you don't. I've done it so many times just just because I don't wanna make it more awkward. There's like, I guess I would anyway, so I'll do it. No, stand up for yourself in those much,

try harness like what you really want, and if you wanna suck a zink, if I can do it, be like, oh great, I'm glad you brought this out. But if you're not feeling it, really try to stay in that and don't let him get away with it, and it won't ruin your relationship to tell him to put it away. It doesn't need to be that.

It can just be like, I'm not ready for that yet. It looks great. Glad to see it. But if he takes it on a way that's aggressive, obviously try to distance yourself as quickly as possible. But you don't have to do it. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. And it doesn't make you weird or like a disappointment.

And the thing is, you only learn that. You're only ready to accept that when you are, because I've heard that for years and never let it in. And wanted to believe it. But now I do. I don't care if a guy is like, why I wanted to come or like, why are your teeth or like any, I just don't care anymore. It's like what I want. Okay, I love it. Last one. What's another one thing you wish everyone knew about sex? I wish they knew vibrators in the bedroom will make everyone's life so much easier because

she can control that. You do your thing and it's not because you're not enough. It's because also that vibrator is not enough. It's a team effort and you can bring things to the next level. So don't be scared to do that. And yeah. That's awesome. Nikki Glazer. Thank you for being here. Everyone can find you all the places. Nikki Glazer, thank you for being here. Everyone can find you. Thank you. All the places. Nikki Glazer will be the best.

Yeah, ideally podcasts. The Nikki Glazer podcast. At Nikki Glazer on Instagram and all. And I'm going on tour this summer. It's really great, everyone. You should listen very entertaining. Thank you for being here. Nikki, I appreciate you.

That's it for today's episode. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Be sure to like, subscribe, and give us a review wherever you listen to podcasts and share this with a friend or a partner. Believe me, if you got something out of this episode, they will too. We released two to three episodes a week, find me at Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter. It's all at Sex with Emily.

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