Sex With Emily - Be the Partner You Want to Attract with Vincent Genna

Episode Date: January 8, 2020

On today’s show, Dr. Emily is joined by world renowned psychic therapist and motivational speaker Vincent Genna to talk about how to really make sure you’re getting the most out of your relationships. The two discuss why we so often get in our own way when it comes to relationship happiness, why the saying “opposites attract” may not be entirely true, and why there’s no such thing as “soulmates,” but you can create a soul-mate relationship. Plus, how working through your childhood will help you with your adulthood.Follow Emily on all social @sexwithemilyFor even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you are not with your night in shining armor or your princess right now, no matter which gender you are, no matter what sex you prefer, it's because you don't believe you're lovable. I agree with that. My job. Yes, absolutely. We are manifesting creatures. We tap into an energy, a source of power, and we attract to us.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and on today's show I'm joined by world renowned psychic therapist and motivational speaker Vincent Jenna to talk about how to really make sure you're getting the most out of your relationships. Topics include why we so often get in our own way when it comes to relationship happiness. So they say opposite the track but in reality, similar attracts similar. Why there's no such thing as soulmates, but you can't create a soulmate relationship. And how working through your childhood will help you with your

adulthood. All this and more, thanks for listening. Book into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrumaise they call them in a bike on day. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard. Oh my!

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, but only? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my God, I'm so sad. Being bad feels pretty good.

But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, check out sexwithemily.com. Our website has tons of information to help you have better sex and relationships and our social media is sex with Emily across the board. Are you guys enjoy the show? Very excited to welcome my guest Vincent Jenner. He's a spiritual teacher, a psychic therapist, world renowned. I've been watching your videos and stuff. I'm like, we gotta get them on the show. You know, you do keynote

presentations, you self love mastery, teach courses, you help people, people call you a lot about relationships too to know like, what do they ask you about relationships? Oh my gosh. How can you help us all? Oh, please, I'd love to help everybody, but I mean, some people are helpless. No, everybody can be helped. And most people want to know why the relationships aren't working, why they aren't with the right person, how do they become a person that's in a good relationship, attract the right being. It's all about what they think everybody else is doing wrong. You know, the partner is wrong and bad. They never take responsibility themselves for why the relationship could be bad. They never take responsibility themselves for why the relationship could

be bad. Yeah, that's such a good point. I love that you're also a therapist and a psychic. To me, that makes so much, that makes a lot of sense. Well, here's the thing, not only, yes, because psycho and psychic tends to go to, I'd like that better because usually people have called me psycho for many years. So now I formalize that by being a psychotherapist. I wanted to know all about the human mind to start with. If I'm going to dive in there as a psychic, because that's all I care about.

Going in there, releasing the blockages, helping people with the issues and stuff like that, I wanted to know the ins and outs, the ups and downs, and give me more credibility. So when someone is sitting in front of me, they know I know what I'm talking about. Right, well, because also if you're just giving them a psychic, you know, you're just telling them what's happening or what you see in them, then and now you can also kind of advise them

from the psychology perspective, which makes a lot of sense. And I combine both because there's also the spiritual perspective. That's the part that the psychotherapy does not include. And we are body, mind and spirit. And I'm telling you right now, the major problem that people have with their bodies and with their mind is because they're not including the spirit. Okay, so tell me more about that. What are those? They are not feeling empowered. If you

just think all you are is a body, okay? And then I'm in a mind to go along with it. You're limiting yourself. You're limiting your potential, your possibilities. But we are manifesting all the time consciously or unconsciously. We're manifesting what we want or we're manifesting what we don't want. And if you don't include that, you're going to be developing defense mechanisms

to help excuse why things are not going right in your life. Like especially when it comes to relationships, I cannot tell you the number of couples all they do is just blame each other. He doesn't meet my emotional needs anymore or she is too demanding or it's all this nonsense when it has nothing to do with the other person. So it always has to do with us, because we're bringing ourselves to every relationship. I'm talking to Vincent Jenna. You can find about Vincentgena.com, G-E-N-N-A, we'll also put this in our show notes at sexwithemily.com. So the main thing is that people

aren't taking responsibility so that how do you gently read their, whatever's going out with them and then put it back on them. That's also a show. Oh, that's really interesting that you use the word gentle We have to be right not with me. No. Oh my god not at all. We don't have time for that anymore. Here's the way I portray it to people Okay, let's say you're walking down the street together of Manhattan

I happen to look up and I see a piano that's being moved from the 40th floor to the 30th floor and the rope breaks and now the piano is headed towards your head. Okay, I have one of three choices that I can make in that instant. I can run across your street and get out of the way and say, Hey, sucker, that's your corner. I'm not dealing with it. Right? I can do that. Or I can do like some people the gentle way.

I can tap you on the shoulder and excuse me, I really don't want to interfere in your life, but I just wanna let you know, splat! Right. Already too late. The piano's falling on you yet dead. Or I can grab you by your freaking shoulders and throw you out of the way.

Now, yes, you may land on your arm and break your wrist or hurt your ankle, but I saved your life. So, uh, that's where we are right now. We are not in hand holding gentle stuff. There is still a large number of relationships that are breaking apart and it's all because people do not understand how to even form a relationship that it has nothing to do with another person to start with. So that's the first thing when someone comes to you and says,

my partner blah blah blah and then you're like, no, we'll look at yourself and then you can pinpoint what their issue is. But here's the bottom line to that and why it is gentle. Okay. Because the pinpoint, if you are not with your night in shining armor or your princess right now, no matter which gender you are, no matter what sec you prefer, is because you don't believe you're

lovable. I agree with that. Absolutely. We are manifesting creatures. We tap into an energy, a source of power, and we attract to us. We don't go shopping. I just had this conversation with a friend of mine just recently in the car on the way over here.

And we were talking about relationship is like people right now, they go shopping for a lover. They get their what, they go on the website, they go to the right clubs, they go to, so you go shopping. You know what it's like to go shopping for something that you need and you want?

Have you ever gone with your friends and you're happy to be hanging around the stores and you might find a beautiful, oh, how, look at those clothes. Oh my God, look at that. God, gorgeous pair of shoes. Now, and you don't need them, now you need them. Now when the fair is coming up and you have to go get

a great outfit, do you ever find what you want to do? Never, it's so stressful to go shopping when you need something for that night. I hate that, I'm like, I need a dress. Right, the same thing is gonna happen if you go shopping for a relationship. So what do we do? How do I, I'm single right now?

Open the door. Do you see this is great. Now I got to tell you something about you, Emily, right now. Okay. All right. You know what we're doing, Tilly? All right. I am sitting at a desk right now with several vibrators and lubricants sitting from, okay?

Uh huh. Okay. Do you know how many men in the world or even women in the world are capable of dealing with that and handling that from the onset? No, you are a different woman. So you are going to have to put that out there Strong enough secure enough to be able to attract a partner who's gonna be able to be cool with Dildos I know really they don't want to know that the dick you have for your desk is bigger than there I know I told you we should take the dick out when he was coming as a man But it's but it's good. I also don't like it's a glowing penis

But I know but you know how intimidated I want that I I said we're right right we just started decorating Studio and I just felt like everyone coming into the office I felt. We don't usually have that in here and I walked in. I'm like, I don't want that glowing dick next to me during the show. Is it going to have a point? I think it will bother you from holding it. But I don't know. You're holding it. This is a new thing. But we do have loops in here. I got it. You know why? It could be a lollipop. That could be worse. No, but I got it. I think it's a fun thing. I understand what I mean. Okay. So guys like she's sex with Emily.

They Google. Right. But here is the thing about you. That's really interesting that you're not paying attention to. You know you're a big package, but you do not appreciate yourself enough to know that somebody else would appreciate it. None of your relationships have really been completely fulfilling. Otherwise, you would still be with that person today. We attraction is the most natural thing on the face of the earth. We created it when it didn't work the first way we came down. We came down and drudgingously the first time on this earth. And I'm not talking about the Adam and Eve and the caveman time period.

I'm talking about before that there was a life here on earth. When we came down with all our power and of one gender, of one sexuality, and it wasn't working, we destroyed ourselves. We were like a bunch of kids, let loose and toys arrest without adult supervision. Not only what we're going after the dildos, we were using them wrong. So what do you mean, you know, so it doesn't make a difference. We needed to do it a different way. So relationships are the most important vital things on the earth, because they help us to learn more about ourselves. A relationship is not to complete us. We're already complete.

I do not believe that to think of relationship is going to complete. No, but here's where the problem lies right from the gecko, because we've forgotten who we are as magnificent divine beings. None of our emotional needs were met when they were supposed to be as a child. Right. Exactly. We're not. But that's our lesson here is to learn from our childhood. That's right. We all have something to deal with in childhood. And I get upset with like, oh, my leg childhood was perfect. No, there's not.

Is it perfect or probably like, no, they create bubbles for themselves and these beautiful visions that I have to burst constantly and I live in the South and they go totally on image and constantly convince them, oh no, you don't, you do not love yourself and no, you don't, didn't have a perfect family. And when we go there deep enough, we can see the faults that happen, we can see those things. And once they admit that they recognize, wait a minute, I don't love myself, but our defense mechanisms get in the way of that.

So here we have those stories, and it right away takes away the idea that we're lovable, we're egocentric as children, we blame ourselves for everything. So if mommy and daddy are not getting along and they're fighting or mommy and daddy are sick or one of them dies or there is a divorce children blame themselves. Now those same children grow into adults, and they wanna believe that they're lovable, they wanna a different relationship, but the part is where the spiritual part comes in, that's so important.

Their manifesting power resides in their unconscious minds, not their conscious minds. So most people do not believe what they think they believe. So they may idea with them all the time and New York women are the worst because they are thoroughly convinced they know what they believe. And so I at the there telling me,

I know I'm lovable. Oh, really, you know you're lovable? How about those last four relationships that went to Helen Hambeesket? That's really love there? Oh no, because they were all jerks. Well, why would you be attracting jerks if you thought you were lovable?

A relationship to start with has nothing to do with another person. And what this is what I want you to listen is to do. Everybody out there right now get a pad and a pen, get a list and at the top of the list title it, the top 10 traits I want in my partner Then list those 10 traits the most important ones most people can have 20 to 30 I'm sure okay. Yeah, I know you got 100. No, I don't Kristen does I've never been focused

All right, then this is what you're doing then when you're done with that okay go back to the title Go back to the title. Cross out the word partner. Write in the word me. And those are the traits you want yourself. The top 10 traits I want in me, because like attracts like. That is myth number one that opposites attract. They do not.

You may have opposite personality styles because of the gender or whatever the person, but like attracts like, if you don't believe in yourself and believe you're a lovable guess what you're going to attract. Now, you've got two people searching for love, trying to get it from each other and both is starving to death and they want to blame the other person for why that's happening. No, it's happening because of you.

You never thought you were lovable to start with. And you attract that person, it's going to break up. It's going to end. It's going to get sabotaged in some way or another. So that's part one, part two, will you take the romantic bullshit and throw it away? There is no such thing as a soulmate. I believe in that too, that you're going to be struck and be like, oh, yes. This is the one.

All right. Now, your job is to make your relationship into a soul mate relationship. Do you think you could do that in any relationship? I have been married for 46 years, and with my wife for 46 years, married for 41 years, absolutely we made that. And this is how you do that. Okay. When I do a couple therapy, I never teach another person how to talk to each other. That is bullcrap too. And also is my career. But go ahead. I know. Thank you. Okay. I know. I'll tell you why. I know. I'll tell you

what you're going to do. Yes. I have to start with talking. This is guy. You don't tell him how to talk to each other. That's right. right, but he will end up that way and I'll tell you why, because you're going to teach them how to talk up to themselves. How to heal themselves, but do it together. Now when they're talking to each other the right way, when they're reading a book and they're discussing it together, when they go to a movie and discuss it together,

when they take a lecture, listen to your show, and they discuss it together about healing their issues, their past, but they're doing it as a partner, they're strengthening and empowering each other while they're doing that. I agree with you that, but the best thing though, Vincent, I believe that for you, the people who come to see you are already in the door, like they believe in your psychic powers and psychology and all that.

But most people, I believe, yeah, I bet you do get skeptics too. What I find a lot is that there's typically one person in the relationship that is ready to do the work. Like they're looking at themselves, they realize issues and there's one who's just kind of more shut down. I'm gonna therapy, doesn't wanna look at their childhood,

doesn't wanna look at their part in it. Like you were saying, most people are blaming their partners. I'm gonna to therapy. Does it want to look at their childhood? Does it want to look at their part of it? Like you were saying, most people are blaming their partners. I'm going to tell you, tell you why. Okay. All right. Wait. Can you, are there any short deal those in here? Because I don't want you throwing anything right now. Moving the deals. I don't even feel comfortable. Not even boxes because I'm about ready to say something. We'll talk about that. Sorry. All right. I know there. I, you're about ready to want to throw something at me with what I'm about ready to say. Maybe. Okay. Okay. There is no such thing on this planet as victimization. Okay. Tell me more.

Be caught. And this is where the spiritual part comes in. And this goes against a lot of people's wanting to believe, especially with all the abuse that women go through and people have gone through, right? Okay, but when you take it to a deeper level, everything happens for a reason. Now it's not your... People like to debate that as well, right? Right, exactly. It's not that it's your fault, however,

there isn't intuition and most of the time, and this has been scientifically researched and proven, and I'm probably gonna say something that you already know, okay? For example, women who are in domestic violent situations, the research they've done on them is that 80% of them come from an abusive past that had a father that abused them emotionally,. Okay. So now

this woman becomes and she took child, she becomes an adult, she goes out into the world. How is this working? She's at a party. This 10 guys there. All right. Out of the 10 guys, one guy makes eye contact with her. She makes eye contact with him, a spark flies or something flies, they get together three months later, pow, he punches her in the face out of anger. Why did she pick him out of the other nine that would not have done that? Because it's an energy thing.

Because she's most familiar to her father. Exactly. And she deep down believes number one, unconsciously because of the child. I deserve it. That's what I'm used to. Right. It was familiar. His energy was familiar. But also I deserve it. I've social worker and We have worked with women who are in domestic violence. There is an organization in North Carolina called interact and what Interact tries to do is to provide a safe haven for abused women. But one of the first problems they have in trying to remove the woman from the domestic

violence situation is the woman turns around and says, what? It's my fault I made a man. Right. So if they're thinking that as an adult, what's going on in their unconscious mind believing that? So their energy is being put out there and they're attracting to them. Somebody is going to do that. So you can't change the outer world. You have to change the inner world.

So if you are attracting a guy who's not willing to do the work, guess what? There is a part of you that's also afraid of doing the work. I agree. I believe if you're attracted to mostly unavailable people that you are not emotionally available. That's right.

Okay. We're going to take a quick break and we come back even more with Vincent Jenna. I do want to say this that we've got to get out of the habit of trying to make the genders the same. Okay. We are equal as human beings, but for goodness' sakes, there is a reason why this male, why this female. And I'm going to tell you right now, you will never make a man live up to what a woman does. And you'll never make a woman psychologically now with some of the things doing a man does and you don't want to have to do it. Now I'm not talking about thinking and reasoning and having an equal job.

That is all the stuff that should be happening already. But why a guy becomes more physical than a woman, why he doesn't want to talk emotions all the time, except why, but then work with it. It doesn't have to be an excuse. It doesn't have to be. No, guys should be able to communicate their emotions, but we need to understand why they don't. Why don't they? Why are why don't men know how to? Because're dominant thinkers we came into the okay? Here is how it happened to start with and we've got to take it back to the beginning now and this is the philosophy Why what are you gonna say? I'm saying but people

Want to come? Yeah, no, I want you to keep going We got here is the thing I like that like when we first started and like I said before we were the way we are now When we came down with our full power and understanding, we went downhill right away and we started destroying things. Well, we said we had to do it differently. Our two greatest gifts that we would give an upon creation as intuition and intellect. Well, when we were going down the drain, both the intuition and the intellect was going with us. So we said, you know what we have to do? We have to separate those gifts. So we divided ourselves. Talking like Adam and Eve. Exactly. That's a metaphor. We divided our cell. And by the way, the male wasn't first and you were taken from a written book. The book was written by a man.

No, not at all. Every book was written by a man and he was like, I did all, every book was written by a man, right? Of course it was always going to start with a man, right? Right. So we divided it and we put both in each but one more dominant in each one, intellect or our courage and thinking, left brain thinking was going to be dominant in the male, intuition was going to be dominant in the female. Then we figured it out. Why do we need intuition in the female? She's going to be dominant in the male, intuition was going to be dominant in the female. And then we figured it out. Why do we need intuition in the female? She's going to have the babies.

We need to procreate over here and to have to be somebody who knows what to do without having to think about it because it'll take forever then, right? And then over here, this guy is going to be going out. He's going to be hunting and he's going to be building a house. So he has to be able to think about what he's going to do.

But they both need to develop the other side strongly to balance out so that we can correct and remember who we are and together. We're going to figure that out. We're going to become even stronger together. Okay. Not complete ourselves either because like I said, we have both sides. Exactly. Okay.

So that is one of the major reasons we are not changing that. As soon as we get rid of the sexes, all right, you won't find the same problem. But as long as you want a heterosexual relationship, women, you're going to be dealing with men who are naturally thinking first. Now you get a good relationship like my wife and I we do both we've learned how to do both. A matter of fact when I went to school and I was getting my degree as a psychotherapist there was that standard test that they don't use anymore is which side of you is your

right brain which is the female side the nurturing intuitive creative emotional side or is your left brain to thinking the reasoning, the courageous side more dominant? So we took that test. I was 50, 50, right in the middle. I can design our house and decorate it. I've even done sewing. I made my wife address when she was pregnant

for her mother's wedding because my family was seamstresses. I was able to do that. I'm emotional, I share that but that is not that's rare right you're not every man that's why you do we got some people want to talk to you okay so I'm talking to Vincent Jenna here and we're gonna we're gonna talk to um Jackie 45 in California she has a question for you

Vincent okay Jackie Jackie thanks for calling. How can we help you? Hey. So I was listening and you know I got some advice you know it's all about self worth but I've been single for five years and I open myself to dating I'm'm a single mom, but it just seems like every man that I meet just wants to be a fuck buddy. And I want to get out of that rut. How did I also have needs? So... Well, there you go.

You just said a word there and I'm going to tell you something about sex, which is really interesting. And this will be interesting if Emily goes along with me here. Sex is not an expression of love. It was supplemented for the lack of emotional relationship, which is the one reason why we have 8 billion people on the earth and why there's so much promiscuity that goes on for the wrong reason. People are having sex for the wrong reason.

And they'll have they'll, you'll have guys convincing you. And here is the one thing that both men and women do. If they can't find an emotional relationship, they can put a notch in their belt if they get one sexually. If they have one nightstands or something, they're like, Oh, wow, I got an stroke. Your ego. Okay. You do not, I can tell you that is a psychic right now. You do not believe in yourself as a woman as a beautiful divine woman. You do not believe that you are loving, but you also know how to have sex and so many of the guys want to use you as a fuck buddy because you don't believe you're deserving enough to have something more than that. I'm telling you that right now. You may argue against that, but I'm telling you go

within. Jackie, what do you think? Oh, hammer on the nail. Okay. I know that. And it's from your past on it has nothing to do with you and it has nothing to do with your value. You were supposed to be taught as a little girl, especially being heterosexual that you were a princess who deserved a nighting shining armor. That's not true. That's not true. Those are in fantasies. Those are, we create those icons

because of the possibilities of what love can be. And that's what it was for me, but the moment you now repair it yourself and let yourself know that you deserve that. And as a single mom, you think that that's a strike against you. It's not for men. There are men who love the idea that a woman has a child and can be nurturing and loving. And you deserve to have somebody better, but you've got to put that signal out there

and go deep. Take a spiritual path. And what I mean by that is not a religious one. It's a deep one to examine your self-beliefs of who you are, your relationship to others, your relationship to the world, and your relationship to something greater. And you will have and attract a better relationship than you have in the past. and attract a better relationship than you have in the past. Forget what you've done in the past and just realize you deserve your night, okay? Okay, Jackie.

Thanks, Jackie. All right, thanks for calling. I mean, I feel like we try to take one more. Okay, let's talk to Ryan, 30 in Los Angeles. Question for you about his love life. Hey, Ryan, is this the Ryan? Hi, Ryan. Hi, the Ryan? Hi Ryan. Hi Ryan. Ryan is a freaking caller. The fan of the show. Hey, so what's your question for Vincent Jenna? Yeah, Vincent. All right. Well, yeah. So I wonder if I can get some insight here. I

feel like, and it's been the same with the last caller. It's been quite a while since my last serious relationship. A lot of flings, but nothing really that I felt like I could really commit to in the long run. And I'm starting to think, is there such thing as having too high of standards? Like, if I, I feel like I don't want to settle. OK, great. And you only have a two more minutes, so I'm like I don't want to settle. Okay, great. You only have a two more minutes, so, so,

can I put it, okay, go ahead. Thanks Ryan, okay, please. If you were listening earlier, make that list of the top 10 things you want, but make sure they're in you. Your list and your expectations have nothing to do with another person. You have no expectations for yourself.

Create them for yourself, and you will attract that in another person. It has nothing to do with somebody else that they don't live up to your expectations. for yourself. Create them for yourself and you will attract that in another person. It has nothing to do with somebody else that they don't live up to your expectations. You're creating excuses because you don't believe you deserve it. Again, like the other caller, you've got to go in there and believe you deserve something more than that. And the other piece of advice that I've got to tell you is stop focusing on your penis. Ryan, are you focusing on your penis. Ryan, are you focusing on your penis? I guess maybe a little too much.

I guess so. Wow. That's what you've got a hand for, buddy. I like it. Thanks, Ryan. Thanks for calling. Now we will hear from Ryan again because we just solved Ryan's problems. I do think that Ryan needs to look at himself a little bit more. He's called in a lot. We love Ryan, but I feel like, yeah, he's got to do his work. We all have to do our work. You do, but it's because you're so worth it. It's not because I don't want anybody to get the wrong impression that I am putting everybody down. You all have problems.

The problem is that you don't know that your problems don't define who you are. Your soul, your divinity, your magnificence defines who you are, the meaning of who you are. Please rate us wherever you listen to the show you guys. It's awesome. You can give us five stars. Just look down right now at your phone and whatever platform you're listening on. Do that.

Review us. Comment and iTunes. Thank you. Thanks to my awesome team, Ken Kristin, Alisa, producer, Jamie, and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me, Ken, Kristen, Alisa, producer, Jamie, and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com.