Sex With Emily - Behind Closed Doors: A Peek into Sex Parties

Episode Date: August 30, 2024

Let's explore the world of sex parties! Are you curious if this scene is for you? This episode is your go-to guide for everything about sex parties. We'll cover the various types available, from kink-centric gatherings to more relaxed swinging events. I'll guide you through finding these parties, understanding the etiquette, and what to expect when you arrive. We'll discuss how to mingle effectively and, importantly, what to wear to blend in or stand out. So join me at this podcast, Sex Party!  Don't forget to join the waitlist for SmartSX, which launches on September 10th, 2024. This incredible membership will offer you access to exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Smart SX: join our waitlist!  FetLife Feeld #Open Kinky Rabbit Club Just Thrive (code BOGOSWE) Shop With Emily! (free shipping on orders over $99) The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want more? Sex With Emily: Home Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok  Let’s text: Sign Up Here Want me to slide into your inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.

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this deal also applies to their Just Calm Gummies, which I love too. So check it out. That's JustThriveHealth.com. Use code BOGOSWE to buy one 30-day probiotic and get another for 50% off. That's a big thing that I've seen with couples too. And also with my partner, I just even just being there, that experience is fodder for weeks to come, months to come. Like what we saw, what we did, like that could be enough too,

just that we went to this erotic performance together. It's almost like you watched a porn together. You saw a hot scene in a movie, but you actually had a party experiencing it. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. So have you ever been to a sex party? Are you curious about what goes down in one and if it's something you'd like to explore?

Are they held in dungeons, upscale clubs, someone's house? There's a lot more interest in sex parties lately, so on today's episode I'm talking Sex Parties 101. I'll go over the various types of parties out there, how to find them, specific sex events you might be interested in, sex party etiquette, what you can expect when you walk in the door, how to interact with fellow attendees, and of course, what to wear. My intention is to give you some education on sex parties,

and if you've never been before, they can understandably feel intimidating. But by the end of this episode, you'll have all the data you need to go exploring if you're curious or know That it's something that you'd better leave to your imagination Please rate and review sex with Emily wherever you listen to the show It helps get the shot to more people and it just takes you a few seconds to do it

You can just do it right now. Look at your phone Look at your app that you're listening to this on and review us We so appreciate it. You can also find me on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter, Orax, and Facebook, all the places. It's all at Sex with Emily. My new articles, How to Actually Talk Dirty, and Ask Emily, Help, My Partner Can Only Orgasm with Her Legs Straight are both up on sexwithemily.com. Before we get into the episode, I'm so excited.

Now it's my new membership community coming September 10th. It is called Smart SX, and this is the membership that you have been waiting for to take your sex life to the next level. I'm gonna be there with you every step of the way, coaching you, helping you. You know, after 20 years of doing this one way conversation with you, I want to work with you together and bring in some leading experts

and help you build a community. These are your people that are gonna help you with the sex life and the relationships that you've been craving. Check it out on my website, sexwithelmy.com, and click the membership tab. Alright everyone, enjoy this episode. One of my biggest missions as a sex educator is to make sex less taboo. And I believe that talking about sex should be as casual and easy as asking what's for dinner.

One of the best ways to do this is by talking about it with trusted friends or loved ones to compare experiences, get advice, even laugh about it because, you know, sex is funny. It is important to find a community to talk about sex with and that's why I'm so excited to create the Smart SX membership program. This membership will be an open forum

to invite conversation between different curious and open-minded individuals across the world. And every week there's going to be questions to contribute to. You can share your own experiences while commenting on others and overall just have a deeper feeling that you're not alone. Listen, we're all in this together and we're all just trying to have the most pleasurable sex and relationships as we possibly can. In addition to this welcoming community, the membership will include live coaching sessions,

exclusive access to the best experts in the business, weekly polls and quizzes, and just so much more. So please join me in being a founding member of Smart SX. Head over to SexWithEmily.com slash membership to join the membership waitlist. That's SexWithEmily.com slash membership or just text the word SX. That's the letter S and the letter X to 323-309-4757. And I'll send you updates via text. We're starting a pleasure revolution and you're invited. See you there. As sexual pleasure starts to become more normalized and celebrated, I'm getting more and more questions from all of you on a very hot topic and that is sex parties.

I think it's been a while since I have talked to you all about sex parties, what's happening, why they're happening. A lot of couples are looking to spice up their sex life. They want to fulfill fantasies. You know, maybe they want to find partners with similar sexual interests or kinks. And in some cases, or many cases, this is part of a consensual, non-monogamous lifestyle choice. Fun. So on today's episode, I'm going to demystify sex parties for you. So you can see if there's something you like to explore, or maybe you just have always wondered what actually happens at a sex party What does that mean? And I'm gonna share some of my own experiences

So before I get into that, I just want to give you a little background on sex parties So I think they're very misunderstood or they get a bad rap So let's start with like what a sex party is not now when you think of sex parties you probably think you walk in and You have to be naked or you drop your pants at the door. You walk into a room and there's a pile of naked bodies writhing around, orgies happening, and that's just you know if you sign up for sex party you're gonna have to jump into an orgy and you're signing up for sex. You might not have any say in the matter,

but sex is gonna happen. And that's not really the case. I have to say, parties that are done right, they're like very open, non-judgmental, shame-free environments where everybody's there for pleasure and to experience some really healthy sexual pleasure. I mean, think of it this way.

It's much like going to a karaoke party, right? You get invited to a karaoke party and you know that you don't have to sing. No one's saying like, you have to get up on stage and you might just love going because you love watching other people sing their karaoke songs. Now, perhaps you're watching

and you secretly have a song that you know you wanna sing. Like, if I ever did it, I would do this song. And maybe you sit there thinking, and maybe you also are sitting there, maybe I will, maybe I'll get enough courage and I'll get up there and sing. Like if I ever did it, I would do this song. And maybe you sit there thinking and maybe you also are sitting there thinking maybe I will. Maybe I'll get enough courage and I'll get up there and sing. But you know that also if you don't, totally fine and everyone had a good time. And sex parties feel the same way. You know you're all there with the possibility of sex happening. You know,

either around you, in front of you, with you. So that's the vibe of a sex party. Sex is gonna happen, but there's no pressure. So a lot of sex parties are based on a more kink lifestyle. Finding a play partner to do a sex scene with or have sex with, or maybe you're swapping or you're swinging, or if you're meeting other people there. The kind of sex parties I'm talking about have a process where you are vetting the list of people,

you're looking at the applicants, you're making sure that everybody is there for consensual sex, that they follow by the rules. The rules are usually you ask before you touch, you have to be there with a partner that's also consenting. So usually these are places that you're really gonna go there and everyone there is with the intent to get their needs met.

And some of them can cost you $20 a ticket, some are more exclusive at thousands of dollar a ticket. You could organize a sex party tonight in your living room if you wanted to, that would be called sex party. Maybe invite your neighbors over and you all have sex. But again, I wanna remind you that you don't have to have sex, you could just go in and watch with your partner, Watch alone if they're allowing single people to come because a lot of

these parties over the years and again they're always evolving. But the ones I went to are the ones I know about mostly are with couples and single women. Sorry guys, but again it's changing. Every town gets to decide what kind of sex party they have. But for many couples, they go just to watch and to not necessarily participate and they might find that it's really huge turn-on and they're using it as dirty talk later in the bedroom. All right, so who's going to these sex parties? Well, they're not for everyone really and I'm not wasting that every couple should go to a sex party. It's for couples who have excellent healthy communication, meaning you talk about your emotions, your feelings, you deal with jealousy as it comes up and you're in a place to really explore your sexuality together. That's

the key. It's together and you're looking to experience compersion, which is a term that describes couples that are really able to experience happiness for their partner when they experience pleasure. So your partner has a fantasy and you actually are in a state of compersion when you know your partner's getting their needs met. And it's okay if you're not the one giving. For example, your partner might have a fantasy that you don't feel comfortable filling yourself.

Maybe you're like, you know what? I never wanna wear spandex. I never wanna spank someone. I don't wanna be tied up, but my partner wants to be tied up. Maybe Maybe go to party together and someone else can fill that fantasy. And since you love your partner and you care for your partner, you are happy they're getting that need met. What I love is that most people who are going to show up at a sex party are open-minded. They want to be in a judgment-free, safe space to explore and just experience sex in a different way. There's many different types of sex parties

and I will get to how to find them shortly because I know you all want to know that. A lot of times sex parties are organized by a sex club or a sex toy store or an individual organization or groups of people. Sometimes there's annual or monthly memberships for sex clubs or a one-time fee. Some of them are called play parties, right?

And play parties are a little bit more focused on the kink BDSM lifestyle, where you're gonna see whipping and flogging and restraints and dungeons. Think of Eyes Wide Shut, 50 Shades of Grey. There's also cuddle parties, which have been around for almost 20 years. What I love about cuddle parties is,

you're going there to learn the skills that make touch safe and enjoyable without the pressure of sex. You're learning boundaries and consent. Let's talk about like less formal sex parties, if you will. skills that make touch safe and enjoyable without the pressure of sex. You're learning boundaries and consent. Let's talk about like less formal sex parties, if you will. Swinging parties. Swinging essentially means that couples get together and there's an expectation of

partner swapping and so swinging parties can be very informal. They can, you know, like the key parties. Everyone talked about from the 70s. They can take place at someone's house where like everyone puts their keys in a bowl, then they select one and this will determine who they hook up with. I got the keys to your car. Means you might be having sex with that person that night.

Or they could be more organized, expensive, like a swinger cruise or a lifestyle cruise. Different ways to find it, but you'll know when you see lifestyle, there's gonna be some swinging happening. All right, so let's get into some of your questions. I know right now you're wondering, how do I find all these sex parties? Well, a lot of people are going to the apps and social networks or it's word of mouth. I mean, I

found out my first sex party years ago by talking to people at Good Vibrations in San Francisco, so be sure to ask around to your local sex toy store. That would be a place to start. But some of the like apps that people are going to, one is FetLife. FetLife is an OG social networking site for sex positive information, BDSM, kink, swinger, great way to find local events in your area. There's also field, F-E-E-L-D, it's an open-minded dating app for non-monogamy, polyamory, alternative relationships, casual sex, kink, et cetera. And then there's hashtag open.

That's another dating app, more explicitly focused on non-monogamy. They also have really fun virtual events from time to time. You can learn things like sex party etiquette. Now, I want to take a second and address what I think you're all thinking. Sex parties? Oh, I'm not ready for that.

Will I be naked? I haven't been exercising. What if you're blo Oh, I'm not ready for that. Will I be naked? I've been exercising. What if you're bloated? And I'm with you. I want to feel my best at these parties too. I love recommending products that I use every day, so I can't wait to share my trick for feeling good. I've tried many probiotics, but nothing matches like Just Thrive. I love Just Thrive probiotics. And since I began taking it, I've noticed a significant decrease in bloating and a boost in energy after meals. Listen, you're going to want to feel amazing when heading to a sex party or having sex

with a partner, so why not start by taking care of your gut? Because feeling great physically can transform how you have sex. Imagine gut health can make a big difference in how you feel and interact whether at home or at a party. With just Thrive, you'll experience benefits like less bloating and more energy. And you'll also have the mental clarity that comes from feeling healthier in your body. Here's the best part.

Just Thrive offers a risk-free purchase with a 100% money back guarantee if you're not satisfied. They don't even ask any questions. They know you're gonna love it. Go to JustThriveHealth.com and use my special code, BOGOSWE, B-O-G-O-S-W-E to buy one 30 day supply probiotics and get another for 50% off.

That's JustThriveHealth.com and use my special code BOGOSWE to buy one 30 day supply probiotics and get another for 50% off. This deal also applies to their JustCom gummies, which I love their gummies. JustThriveHealth.com needs my special code BOGOSWE. That's BOGO-SWE. Okay, so I went to a really awesome sex party in LA. As I mentioned, there's a lot of different kinds

of sex parties. This one was a little bit more exclusive. I'm going to get into it shortly with the founders, but when I got there, you walk in and what I love is you have to give up my phone. Someone went in there to take your phone and my partner and I came, we were dressed. It was suggested that the men wear tux, so he was wearing a tux and I was wearing like a really cool dress. I actually wore it at the Podcast Hall of Fame Awards,

which you can find on my Instagram from last year, but it was a really great dress. It was comfortable, but it was kind of like a combo bathing suit, lingerie, black formal dress all in one. So we walk in and it's a really sexy vibe. It was the the venue was a hotel lobby bar because they rented out a boutique hotel. So every room had a different theme but overall it was very elegant, tastefully appointed with very like sexual and sensual elements and everyone was really welcoming and open,

dressed in everything. I mean, you saw people in lingerie, in dresses, you know, in costumes, in tux, like sexy attire and essentially it's whatever made them feel sexy. And I have to say it was just really liberating and exciting to see people playing and finding pleasure in so many ways. And yes, there was sex happening.

They rented out a boutique hotel for that purpose. So throughout the night, there were different rooms and you could walk by the rooms and the doors would open to see kind of sex unfolding in different ways. There might be some couples, there might be individual people having sex, oral sex, just all different expressions. In fact, there was a sex toy room which I found my way to. Of course, and there was a woman riding a Sibian, which is like a massive saddle of a horse, but the whole thing is a vibrator. And she was in the middle of bed and she was on the Sibian and there were some women around her. They were friends or play partners and they were like showing her how to use it.

And she wrote it and she had this orgasm and then she came off and she's like turned to this woman and after she's like, oh hi, oh my God, I love your dress. Where'd you get that necklace from? So it was like very casual, like having sex to you look great tonight. What's going on here? You know, there wasn't a lot of like really intense talk happening, but people were all there. This is where the sexually liberated people are coming to have pleasure. There was a room with more kinky gear, bondage gear. So there's a lot of different things happening. And also like you look over, when you get in there's this man who's one of the leading Shabari rope tying experts in the world. And he's beautifully has a woman on a bed

and he is tying her in a really sensual hot way. He's the experts, the way he's like using the ropes for his pleasure and her pleasure is something I will never forget. I'm not sure I'll ever forget this night. So I thought I would peel back the curtain to bring you inside all of their sexual experiences. I wanna be talking to Alina Rotuska.

She's a creative director, event planner, designer. She's a stylist and founder of Rock-A-Chic. It's a fashion brand known for its elaborate theme events. Eyal Brickman is an entrepreneur and Alina's husband. He's founded several different companies, but now he focused on Kinky Rabbit Club and men's sexual wellness. What is Kinky Rabbit Club?

I always like to say it's Disneyland for adults. You like basically you come in and then you just have fun. Basically we have private members club with a lot of amazing individuals. Very exclusive. We focus on exclusivity. This is the most important thing for us for everyone to feel comfortable

and feel that they can just do whatever they want around people that never going to judge them. And basically like like-minded people, extremely exclusive. Everyone keeps asking me all the time, how can we get in? How can we get in? So we're going to continue. We're going to talk about later. But yeah, we're going to talk about that because this is what your website says. Exclusive Members Club hosting a collection of unique kinky themed events throughout Los Angeles. Music, dance, erotic theater, immersive art becomes tools of seduction designed to transport you to a world of luxury and the ultimate indulgence with all with your discretion in mind. So that's what it is. It's a fun people, we call it like a sex party

or a lifestyle event. You're not always like sex party is like a bad word or swingers party. It's not the right word. Like a lot of people are afraid of this. Like they hear sex party or swingers. We don't really need a swingers party, but. I mean, it's not a bad word.

There are a lot of swingers parties, but we are not one of them. We've been to many in the past when we just met, and we just didn't feel comfortable, the energy and the vibe, but there are great people over there, and the swinger party have been around for centuries, but it's not us. It's definitely not us. But they always have the same reputation. I feel like you come and it's more like a dungeon type of feel.

And that's not what Kinkuyabin Club is. We have a lot of different experiences. It's sometimes the vibes are darker and mysterious. Other times it's more fun and disco and you can dance. So it's always very, it's like an adventure. You always go on like a journey. Yeah, so it's more of an experience that obviously at the end, most of the people are gonna have sex,

but it's more of an experience for people to come and enjoy, I call it like a long foreplay, which people kind of tend to forget about foreplays and just go directly to sex, which makes it so boring because what's the fun part about it? There's something before that people kind of get aroused and meet other people at the beginning. They don't jump right away to have sex. They watch a show. We have the ambience around. They can have a drink. They can meet other people. And usually after Midnight, which

is the main show most of the times, there's like this, I would say it's a magic that everyone disappears and goes to the rooms and have fun and then after they can go back, have a drink, then do it all over again or even explore all kind of things or that Alina have in her mind. So it's not just right jump into sex because this is what we didn't like. Yeah, the pressure. I didn't like the pressure when we were going to like other clubs where I was like fed like, oh, like everyone expects you to just get naked and like have sex

right away. So this was like, you come in, you're just like, you don't have to have anything. You don't have to have sex. You don't have to do anything. You just like watch the shows, have conversations, a drink and that's it. Yeah. And usually I was at the number of three, which is usually takes around three parties for newbies to come in,

watch everything, then usually after the second party, they were probably going to have sex, but in front of other people or next to others, and then the energy going to start flowing, and the third party you're going to see probably in the mix between so many naked bodies having a lot of fun. But it's all about the energy. It's like it's just the right vibe. We are very selective with the guests. We know who to invite, who fits and who doesn't.

What are the characteristics? Are there like three traits of a couple that should go? And then who are the couples that shouldn't go? Couple who have a broken marriage definitely shouldn't go. You know what? No, I wouldn't say that. I would say I would give them a chance to see how it depends, how broken it is. I think the most important thing is communication. Yeah. If you have a clear communication with your partner, so it's much easier to go to those type of parties. And back to the question that you asked about the application

is that we feel the dynamic between the couples because it can be a time that a guy wants to come to those parties just to have sex with multiple women and just leave his wife or his girlfriend on the side. That's horrible. And it's always end up very bad. So first of all, you can't be jealous. That's first and foremost because we met some guys that even by some other couple were talking to their to his partner who were so jealous so that's obviously not that work. There have to be some sort of

communication between one another and understanding that hey we're going to explore we don't have to do anything. I wouldn't say we have to come with rules because like when we went to our first party we said oh we have these rules and this rule and that rule, it was broken into several. I mean, many rules for sure. No gangbangs on the first party. No gangbangs. Gangbangs is the third party. Whatever fits, whatever is okay between you two.

No expectations. Just come with open mind. Like I said, communication. If you don't have any communication with your partner, it's going to be very hard for you. And also very important is that explain to your partner where you're going. Because we had a few cases that they didn't explain the partner exactly what it is. But it wasn't really like they weren't in a long relationship. We have some couples as well that are just like, I don't know, friends with benefits.

No, like, you know, not like long term couples, they're just like, I don't know, friends with benefits. Not like, you know, not like long-term couples, or like, they're just like friends, yeah. And then, but they have a great connection, so it works too, you know, so it really depends. I talked to a couple there and they were wonderful. They just said that they had been married for like 20 years, they have kids, and they were very communicative,

and they realized their sex had kind of flatlined. It just wasn't as exciting anymore. And they talked a lot about it. And they said it just kind of really sparked their sex life. They were reinvigorated. What I loved is that I wasn't sitting around there interviewing people. I was actually having a good time.

But when I did talk to them, they were saying that they both kind of figured out like she was more into playing with other men and he just kind of wanted to watch and he wasn't really doing anything, but it was more for her. And then there was other couples that she wanted to be with men, he wanted to be with women, but then sometimes they were together, but they had to like talk about it ahead of time. So there's all these

different iterations of couples that come there and that's why you can't have rules and you might not even know until you go. Because I think once you peel back the layers of like what's right and what's wrong and what society says, then these kind of clubs gives people the opportunity to kind of figure it out when they get there, even if they don't know or if they even have a hunch, right? Of what might be hot for them. So you've probably heard some, you know, what couples have let you know. Many, many stories. The same stories of like what you heard that we have so many couples that started, you know,

been together for so many years and life became, you know, reality that everyone's like work and regular life, less sex. And even we, we, few couples that wanted to separate and then they came to our clubs and they just kind of fell in love with each other again. And they didn't even do much at the club, but they just fell in love with each other because they felt so strong even coming to this kind of club. I want to get more into the member experience after that, like what it is for couples,

but let's just talk about the do and don'ts. Like what's the general etiquette? My number one, be respectful. Always ask before anything. Just like communication, right? Yeah, communicate better with your partner and with others. That's a very important thing. Obviously we very big on privacy. So it's kind of like fight club. better with your partner and with others. That's a very important thing. Obviously,

we are very big on privacy. So it's kind of like Fight Club. Don't talk about Fight Club outside because there are some people that just don't want because they're afraid of the society norms and so on. So we really like to keep it between each other. And that's why we hardly talking to people outside about a club and everything. Obviously we're never going to expose any names or anything like that because you know, we respect everyone the same as they respect us. Yeah, we take the phone so it's like... Yeah, no phones are there. To me that was an incredible experience to go there and get and not have my phone. So I was like, okay, well what about privacy and all that? Like people really are there

too. Like if they get through the layers, they jump through the hoops, they get into the club, you guys have vetted them, it's like, so you already feel safe. But then to not have your phone for a few hours. First off, I wish I could do that on a daily basis and not be with my phone. But to be at a party like this and to not have your phone is so, so liberating. That's another layer of people feeling free and being open. I'd love to know now like more about the relationships. Cause I think, okay, people are like, oh my God, I wanna go to this.

Like, I think this really is a fantasy. You've been in this world for so long. So thinking like, what I was asking people, I was like, what would you wanna know? And most of you were saying like, I wanna know what happens and the sex happens. And a lot of you will think like, I could never do that. I'd be so jealous.

My partner would never let me go. Is it just an excuse for couples to go bang other people, right? So what do, if you could tell me, and maybe yes with consent, so what do couples get out of this gathering? And then we can talk about what singles get out of it, but let's talk about couples.

Like I kind of shared one experience and I have a hunch, maybe you could share what you've observed over the years and what people tell you that they get out of it. The couples who get in the door, you know, I have a hunch that maybe you could share what you've observed over the years and what people tell you that they get out of it. The couples who get in the door, you know, become members. Well, for number one, stronger connection. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

Right when you enter the door, you feel so strong and empowered with your couple that you can, that you made this move to go do something like that. That's the first thing. And then you explore together a lot of things because majority of the people that comes to our party, they don't live in the outer world, that it's based on a lot of lies and people divorce and cheating on one another in our community, in our world. You don't need that. You're basically very open with one another and that makes the relationship

so strong. And that's why, like I said before, we have couples that started when they joined the club, they started a little bit separated in a way because of so many years they've been together and you see how they evolve and learn a lot about one another and became so strong with one another that they just waiting to come back to the club and they don't go anywhere else. So that's makes us very happy. Basically, that's what we're aiming for. Like think that you go to a club and you have, I would say 90% of the people are so in line with your energy and your vibe and hugging and kissing it. It's not just about sex. Sex is just, you know,

like something that you obviously that you want to explore and everything, but it's not just sex. It's connection between people. It's like you said, no phones. It's not just couples even, like people. Let's talk about it. The other people, the performers, let's talk about that. Yeah. Single men, can single men go? Single men are not allowed. The only ones that are allowed in a way it's the people who obviously perform with us. So we know them in advance, but we don't allow single guys because we've been to other clubs before and we saw that it doesn't fit yet.

Maybe in the future, who knows, but it just don't fit, the energy doesn't fit. And for single ladies, I found, because I talked to a lot of single ladies and I was asking them, why are you you come here? Like what's your expectations? What do you want to get from coming here? And all of them unanimously said that they just feel so powerful here and they feel so safe to do whatever they want. There's something in there. Without being judged.

Yeah, there's something in the society that a woman can't be sexual and can't be open about her sexuality. So when the girls come to a club, they feel so strong and so powerful. They are the one who in control much more than the guys of the couples over there actually. So that's great. That's what we always like to hear. And we always tell them just come explore, enjoy, do whatever you want. No one's going to judge. I would love to talk about some of the relationship dynamics that you see there. You know, swinging, I guess, is a type. Swinging is when couples kind of swap or people are open or they're only with women or they're only with men or they're only with trans people. I mean, I think everyone gets to decide but are there

common dynamics that you see? What do you see or what could be other certain genres? We do get a lot of couples that would like to play with other girls. It's kind of like in the middle of couples who like to play with other girls and the couples who like to play with other couples. We do have some that he likes to see her with other guys and it makes him so powerful because he sees her basically having fun, which is, I don't see anything bad about it. It's amazing. It takes a strong guy to do this.

Very strong. Yeah, very strong. Not everyone can do it. Unfortunately, there's this judgment of, I don't know, the shame or judgment or anything like that. But if you think about it, you basically look at the person who you really love having fun. What's so bad about it? But it's society that drill down with us when we are born. But yeah, it's kind of like in between couples who play with couples and couples who play with girls or even couples just like to play with one another and to have others watching them for yours on the one side or exhibitionist on the other side. It's a big thing that I've seen with couples too.

And also with my partner, I just even just being there, that experience is fodder for weeks to come, months to come. Like what we saw, what we did, like that could be enough too. Just that we went to this erotic performance together. It's almost like you watched a porn together. You saw a hot scene in a movie, but you actually add a party experiencing it. And it does sort of enhance intimacy,

can bring couples together. But what are the common fantasies that come up for couples? Is there anything you read on every application, like nine out of 10? Oh yeah, there is actually. Yeah, there is. A lot of them are light BDSM. So it goes hand to hand with 50 Shades of Grey.

That's, you know, because it was so famous, the book was so famous. So it goes hand to hand with what we see on the Kings and the fetishism, a lot of like BDSM, women's like rapes, which is very, very strange. Yes. That was very strange for me. And on the other side, consensual, non-consensual sex. And the guides wants to be the dominant, of course. So it basically goes into it with what's feminine

and masculine energy are. So we see that a lot. Other than that, yeah, we have people that like DP, I don't know, there's everything. Nothing too crazy. No. I mean, what's crazy? Yeah, exactly, what's crazy? That's the thing, I'm not even gonna ask you, people wanted me. I mean, what's crazy? Yeah, exactly. What's crazy? That's the thing.

I'm not even gonna ask you. People wanted me to ask like, what's the craziest thing you saw? I'm like, I don't love when people ask me, what's the craziest question you've ever gotten at the most outrageous. I'm like, nothing is even, because it's all okay.

So I don't see it that way. Well, it's the taboo, right? Well, nothing's, I guess, bringing in things that we wouldn't ever, that we hold so sacred. As long as it's under consent, as long as it's with respect and with consent for one another, there's no one who is actually get offended or anything like that. They sit in a very fun way and experience and that's eventually, I think what we're here for. We're here to experience

things in life. We're not here to wake up every morning, go to work, you know, and come back and buy stuff. We're here to experience things, especially with their loved ones or single ladies who just want to experience something that they would never experience outside when they're going to go to any regular party. Yeah, and it's all a theater. Like life is a... Life is a theater. It should be. It should be more so. Also, what I love there was also, because I was talking about sex toys, there was like a room with like sex toys that were sanitary and lubes and condoms and all that.

But I did mention that next time I do, I want to bring some lube for everybody. I think I gave you guys to try, but then there's just the other one that I love. It's called Morgasm. I'm going to bring it to you as a surprise. It's an arousal lube and you rub it on. It's like a little fun prop that when you put it on your body it starts to arouse like

tingle like your clitoris, your penis. Have you ever used any of those? You can lube them. Can I lube people? I'm gonna comment. It's kind of like when you go to Burning Man and everyone has their value like I'm just gonna rub some arousal gel on everybody. It's called morgasm. It's a very cool experience. I love that it's judgment free too. I think that people can partake without feeling the pressure. What would you advise when you get people who want to dip their toe into this world,

but they're not quite ready for a party yet? I can say that when we started all this years ago, when we just met, actually when we met, we started talking about it and there was not too many options out there. I can definitely say that when Alina started her world to create in this world, slowly, slowly we started seeing so many small, but like I said, swinger's clubs. They're very hard for swinger's club. There's a lot of dating apps that fit exactly to that narrative, but there are a lot of apps out there. You can

just search it. It's very easy. And yeah, there's a lot of small local parties that you can just go see what's going on. Obviously you don't have to do anything anywhere. No, you don't have to. It isn't for everybody. That's what I want to say is it isn't for everybody, right? This isn't. We're not saying it, but I want people to, I guess the reason why I'm bringing this to you is I want people to have options. I want them say is it isn't for everybody, right? This isn't, we're not saying it, but I want people to, I guess the reason why I'm bringing this to you is I want people to have options, I want them to know that there's possibilities for you to expand your intimacy

and to connect on a deeper level with a partner and just know that there's opportunities for it, but by no way is it for everybody. There's some people who can't even get past jealousy. Jealousy, no good relationship between one and another. It's not for everyone, obviously. But on the other side though, if people just want to come have fun and like, you know, explore and you know, like again, they don't need to do anything. Just come and have a drink, have fun,

enjoy the music, you know, like that. And watch live other people having sex and having fun. Right. You don't have to do anything, which I love that there was like a low pressure environment just to experience and to really just kind of go into your own experience of sensuality and eroticism and turn-ons. If anything, you leave with just great fodder for discovering yourself. It's really great work you're doing and I think it's important and I just love people to say like, even if you aren't ready to go to party tonight, after you're listening to this, talk to your partner about just what do you think about that? Would that be hot?

Maybe you could find some porn that shows people at a party, right? I always tell people like before they jump in, ever you could threesome or swinging, walk dirty, talk it to each other, you know, watch a porn, find an erotic scene that you can think about. Now, how did that make us feel? And so it's a journey, right? I don't think you'll have to go even at your parties. People aren't coming and they're learning and coming for a few

times and they're experiencing it. The funny thing is it's really like fight club. When you go out, when you're part of this community, you just know who is part of it and who is not. It's so magical. So this is something that we really like. You just see it in your eyes. I love that you exist. I think it's really unique. It's really special. I'm just grateful to know both of you. So thanks for bringing me on for the journey and sharing this with everybody. I want to ask you guys real quick before we go, I have to ask you the five quickie questions we ask all of our guests.

Okay? They're very quick and you can each answer. You can go back and forth. Just like one word or two words. What's your biggest turn on? Elena. I always think he has a problem. Okay, you can do it.

Same. What about Alina, what's your question? No matter how much I'm in this world and a lot of guys telling me, oh, you're such a lucky guy, she's the one who turned me on the most, the most. No matter when and even when she was obviously pregnant, even she's like on the worst day of her life,

she always turned me on. Alina, what chair did you turn on? Well, I have to say, yeah. Okay, okay. I got it. Yeah. Okay. What's your biggest turn-off? Turn-off? I never thought about it, but it has to be quick. You have to do quick. I would say that lies are my biggest turn-off. I hate people who lie. What makes good sex? That's a question? Yeah, it's a question. Communication. Just dirty talk communication. Don't talk communication. This is good. Do it together. Something you

would tell your younger self about sex and relationships? Just go and fuck. I mean, I'm very lucky that I started in a very young age, so I explored so many, especially older women when I was very young. So they taught me basically, I would say just respect and love and do it from love. Don't do it from sex. Sex is so easy. You can have sex. I can have sex with myself right now.

But not just all of them, but also have experience, have fun. Like with some, with like something in inside, not just, just to come and have sex. It's so boring. Yeah. How many do you know? Do it for the feeling. Do it for the... Yeah. That's really what you guys are creating.

You're creating an erotic experience. So everyone can have like pound away and have sex, but this is a much different experience. Don't waste your orgasm just like that. Final question. What's the number one thing you wish everyone knew about sex? It's actually fun and everyone's doing it. It's beautiful.

Everyone's doing sex. I have to say everyone, everyone in life had sex. I love it. I mean, think about it. It's like restaurants. Everyone eats. You guys are creating it. Everyone has sex.

Everyone eats. You're creating another take on sex. Like it's another way to experience this beautiful thing that everyone experiences anyway. You have a different menu. And I love it. Thank you both for being here. I appreciate you both. Thank you.

That's it for today's episode. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and be sure to like, subscribe, and give us a review wherever you listen to the podcast and share this with a friend or partner. You can find me on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter, or X, and Facebook. It's all at Sex with Emily. Oh, and I've been told I give really good email. So sign up on SexWithEmily.com and while you're there, check out my free guides and articles

for more ways to prioritize your pleasure. And if you'd like to ask me about your sex life, dating, or relationships, call my hotline 559-TALK-SEX. That's 559-825-5739 or just go to SexWithEmily.com slash ask Emily. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at SexWithEmily.com.