Sex With Emily - Best Of: Casual Sex With Emily

Episode Date: April 24, 2018

This throwback show is all about all things casual sex – because we just can’t talk about it enough. Emily sits down with a panel of friends from different ages and backgrounds to talk about what casual sex means to them – and what the stigmas are surrounding it – because even a few years later, all of this is still so relevant. They even touch upon an email of “slut-shaming” and the double standards of casual sex that – try as we might – are still around today. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: We-Vibe, Apex, Promescent, UVee & Magic Wand Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. One night stands, casual sex, friends with benefits, we cannot talk about this enough. In this throwback show, I sat down with a panel of friends from different ages and backgrounds to talk about what casual sex actually means to them and all the stigmas surrounding it. Because even if years later, all of this is still so relevant. And coincidentally, we answered an email about the double standards of casual sex that was going on at the time with recent podcast guests, Caitlin Bristow, when she was the bachelor out of four years ago. So I hope you enjoy this throwback podcast that shows why these conversations still need to take place. Because the more we talk about it, the

more we'll be able to enjoy satisfying and safe casual sex. Free from all that shame and full of pleasure, which is what I'm all about, and I hope you are too. Thanks for listening, enjoy the show. My car secret institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a bygone way. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my!

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, but what do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off your couch. I'm going to be in bad feels pretty good. You know, Avaline's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com. We can check out all of our podcasts, sign up for a mailing list. You really, really should, because we send an awesome newsletter. I give you an email, I gotta say. And follow us on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. It's all sex with Emily and I love you all.

Thank you for listening. And today's show, this is a really special show, not just because Menace is here. Hello, everybody. What up, Menace. We've got a little panel going on here. I know. Which we're going to introduce in a second, but we have to catch up. Like a billion people up in the studio. I know. We've done this before. So many voices. We are tackling a very important topic today. Okay. We're talking about casual sex, which is on the rise.

On the rise. On the rise? Well, I mean, in the last 20 years, thanks to Tinder. I've got this amazing article that I'm going to read news about Tinder, which is just literally changing. Not only is there a rise in people hooking up, but also a rise in STDs. Imagine that. But also connections.

The whole thing about Tinder is that it's just changed the way people are meeting, dating, they're saying it's curing loneliness. Have you been, you know, you've had a girlfriend since Tinder. Yeah, so I mean, you'd be killing it on Tinder, dude. I know. I actually, I sign up on my buddies that are not on Tinder and then help them like make their profiles and stuff like that and then sit and watch them, you know, like see if they, if anybody makes them back and And it totally works. Like within five minutes of setting up a profile that are already talking to somebody who's insane. It's insane. But you're talking about STDs, I was just,

that's the depressing part guys. I don't wanna leave it with the ST for, I'm glad people are looking at us. I was just so depressing. But I was shaking on this, so depressing. And they said just in like New Jersey that STDs are on the rise, like a crazy number and they all blame Tinder.

Yeah, exactly. But I blame the, are on the rise, like a crazy number and they all blame Tinder. Yeah, exactly. But I blame the, you know, it's a small population, you know, and probably a few people are on Tinder using it and they're hooking, they're all hooking up with the same people. Just because everyone's hooking up and the interesting thing is, and they say, okay, so according to it, 2002, U.S. General Survey, social Survey, there's been an increase both casual sex and sex with acquaintances since the 90s. So from 1990 to now to 2012, casual sex. So in the 90s, it was 32 percent people were having casual sex, 37 percent now. Friends with benefits, 30 percent then 41 percent now. I think also all the surveys back then,

I think people are lying. No, no, but, I think people are always thinking people are lying. Because I think people are probably a lot more uptight back then and didn't wanna say, like they wanna be considered a plurory. I don't know if it was even that uptight, it just, you weren't oriented that way. I know in college it was like, you used up for someone

and you've gotten, I always, and I think actually, to be honest, like in my 20s, I was in, I was in relationships. Like I was a serial monogamous believe it or not. I did cheat, you know that. I'm a former cheater, but I was committed to NF years, to NF years, to NF years, and it wasn't like casual sex. Yeah, it wasn't accepted. It wasn't like people would just go on a date and like, yeah, I'm dating five, you just wouldn't say it. Now it's like, if someone's in a relationship at 24, you're like, really? And part of me can, you know, think that that you, I don't think you should get married

until you're 30 anyway. You know, I believe that. I think we change a lot in our 20s. I think that it's not a bad thing to date around and figure out who you are and what you want. So I kind of wish, I can, like I said, I'm doing it over my friends. I'll say I'm like 20 now. We'll talk about it more with our panel people.

So have you been? I've been great. I'm very upset with you by the way though. Why? You have been posted photos of my dog yet on your Instagram and I sent them over to your staff, but you know, whatever. Dude, okay.

Okay, it's cool, you know, you hate my dog, it's fine. I'm so, first of all, you are the most private person in the whole world But I feel like I'd have to get like a release form sign It's a dog and Instagram, but your dog is really really freaking cute. I'll do it We'll do it Madison will probably do it right now It's sweet But congratulations on that second first child so now does that mean you guys are gonna be soon because that's what couples do Yes, yes, you get a dog and then you can baby. Yeah, do what happens. No, we already have a bunch of vacations coming up

and very have dog sitters and stuff like that. That doesn't mean that you can't have a child. Very anti-child. You just, okay, so maybe you'll just have a dog and be one of those people like dresses it up and like, yeah baby, you set up Christmas cards. We're just about an outfits and all that kind of stuff. Oh my God, you used to laugh at me when my dog had outfits.

No, I laughed at you because you should not have a dog. Well, you were right. At all. You were right. You can barely take care of yourself. Exactly. Well, because it was a mistake. My friend, she's a vet.

How long did the dog last? You used to be a ghost. Yeah, good. No, we had a good run. I mean, she's with a wonderful family right now. I just, there's a lot going on in my life. That dog, by the way, the Faradot me, and I'm still offended by it.

I used to bring into the studio, Israel Cute, but speaking of Instagram, menace. So I did a big workshop last night at Hustar Hollywood, which was freaking amazing. It was Oral Sex Workshop, Oral Sex 101, and it was for men and for women. So I talked about Filetio and Colonel Inguis, which I don't want to embarrass you, but I'm going to. But in 2005, when we started this show, we were on a live show, we were on Free FM Radio. And I said Conolinguis, and you did not know what it was.

Well, you were ahead of your time on the Conolinguis. No, I'm not, you think I made up Conolinguis. It's like a term. You were. You think I made it out? You think I just came in that day? You were a pioneer. I'm like, Kinsey. I'm like, Kinsey. I'm like in that day? You're a pioneer of this term. I'm like, Kinsey. I'm like, Kinsey.

But so last night, it was packed room. I mean, there were so many fans there. Because you know, I don't do a lot of live things. And this one woman, McKenna, right? McKenna, Madison, McKenna. She's an awesome fan. She's been a fan for a long time to the show. I just need to know what men's, he's so cute. You had posted enough pictures of them. And then I saw him and he's really, I just need to know what men's to. He's so cute. Like, you had had him posted enough pictures of him,

and then I saw him, and he's really, really cute. And like, why don't you post a lot of pictures of him? So, I'll post a picture of you and your dog for a mechanical. And thank you. I was supposed to picture the dog. You know what, hey, taking photos. People don't see you. And now, keep it that way.

OK, so I think we should, well, I've got a little to introduce this topic. I am going to read a little sex in the news, and then I'm going to get into our people here. OK, cool. Because we're all staring at us right now, what we talk. I love them. I'm so glad they're here. This is going to read a little sex the news and then I'm going to get into our people here. Okay cool because they're all staring at us right now. What we thought? I love them. I'm so glad they're here. This is going to be fun. Okay. This is important. An unfathomal amount of people are getting laid from Tinder according to these stats.

So speaking at the can lines, the can lines international festival creativity, the co-founder of Tinder, Sean Rad, claim that in the 2.5 years, Tinder has existed, they've already facilitated over 8 billion matches. 2 billion in just the past two months. So Tinder is now up to 16,000 swipes per second, which means a truly unfathomable amount of people are getting laid via Tinder these days. By the way, this is an interesting fact. It's the same co-founder who was ousted,

a CEO by Barry Diller, CEO of IAC, parent group of Tinder, after Sean Rad was caught drawing Dillard's initials in the shape of a cock and balls. Do you remember this story? No, really, Sean Rad's story means President of Tinder and a director within the company. He sounds like a good fun guy. Yeah, right?

Anyone comes up with Tinder. You can still look tight. As of April, right. What the hell? As of April, Tinder has a total of 6 billion matches. According to its down-loaded page, an iTunes which translates to 195 million matches per month, insisting that one of the missions of Tinder was not about seeking sexual partners but to cure human loneliness.

He said, the people that you really, that's always the cover up. Like true, though, out there. Oh, we just want you to meet. Well, I mean, if you're lonely, you might, you want to sex or eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's or both at the same time. I don't know. The people that you meet really shape who you are, every person you meet as a potential

to change your life. We all have the sense of belonging, community to get close to the world, blah, blah, blah. But now everyone's hooking up. So that's the point. And then, curing loneliness perhaps as a company to operate that kind of scale is fascinating because he's very proud of all these numbers you can imagine. When you're audience is so global and diverse, the average user spends 11 minutes a day on Tinder. And with 16,000, so I have to second 1.4 billion swipes a day. And 2 billion matched the last two months, he finds out Regis Tinder is currently valued

at the 5 billion range. It's not just a hook up app. It's crazy. So let's introduce our panel. And I'm going to talk about what's going on. Can I say something real quick? I'm sorry, guys. Please do.

But this came out actually a couple hours ago in the news that these teens overseas, they came in Britain, they came up with a condom that changes color and it can detect STDs. No way. And for each STD it's a different color. Are you serious? Is it going to go in the dark?

It'd be better if they were going to dark colors. I'm not going to dark, but I don't think that's the main point of it. Well, all I'm thinking is if you're having sex with someone and you're like, it's green, you won't really see if the lights are out. You're like, you've chlamydia. Yeah. So it should just be a glow in the dark. I mean, I don't mean to, but it's a great idea, sorry, man.

It's a great idea. It's a great idea. It's a great idea. It's a great idea. It's a great idea. It's a great idea. If you have an STD and say, look, this thing sucks because it isn't glow in the dark. I'm like the investor in the room going, really?

That's a good idea, but have you. No, that's a great idea, actually. Yeah, it's brilliant. It's insane, so... But I wonder how it works, because sometimes doctors can't even detect if you have herpes. Yeah, but you know what? It's better than nothing.

It's brilliant. No, I think that's actually brilliant. I'd like to invest in the company and then... This is 14-year-old, and 13-year-old, or gonna be billionaires, and I would like to go on the condom private jet soon once I get... That is really really smart money because you know what the thing is people lie I don't know I'm totally good I got tested last week no you're like no you're like syphilis I'm out so yeah you know like

line bastard that is really great and another new story that came out which is not it which I just think is funny I'm just real quick did you hear that the founder of Match.com, who met his partner on Match.com, she cheated on him and left him for a guy that she met on Match.com. I did know that. Yeah, I just think that sort of said. Her name was Emily Morris.

I don't, I don't cheat any. Anyways, let's enter this channel. OK, guys, thank you for your patience. Thank you for being here. Okay, to my left. First, I'm going to start with case we've got, because I figured we've got to have a dialogue who actually engaging in casual sex work, you know, flirted with it. So let's talk about it.

We've got Justin Gunn. Justin. Say hello. That's how I name Justin Gunn. It's quite a name. I actually, Justin, I know from San Francisco. He used to work at Current TV. Oh, sweet. And we met 10 years ago.

10 years ago. We actually dated. We did. Wow, no. Was it casual though? I would say it was casual. But then it was, I mean, how do I know if it was exclusive?

I'm trying to think if I slept with anyone else. I don't think I would. Maybe. Maybe. I'm trying to think if I stop with anyone else. I don't think I would. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know. You know what? I think we were casual flirting with seriousness. Right.

I think that's what we did. Right. And it was a good time. And then you, we had seen each other 10 years. It was probably like what the better part of a year? Yeah. That was a really good year. Yeah, it was a great year.

No commitment though. We went to Coachella together. Remember that? Oh, dude. He's the guy I'd say. Oh, the Coachella. Dude, you're infamous. Oh, my God. Just went to Coachella together, remember that? Oh dude, he's the guy I'd say. Oh the Coachella, dude you're infamous. Oh my God, Justin. You're a Coachella guy? Yeah.

Oh, what are they looking at? I just opened. I've told the story how we had sex backstage. Like, three years ago. Do you remember that? Yeah. I've told the story, what do you remember? The guy's here, everybody.

I've been here. I've been here. It doesn't get much more casual than that. You know, because typically Coachella, you're in shorts and like, sunglasses. Yeah, yeah. Well, we were, but then we had sex backstage, but do you remember where, who was playing or anything? It wasn't in the butt, was it?

No. I can't. It was probably, oh, you mean geographically. We never do that. Geographically. Yeah, geographically. Yeah. Yeah, so you're like, that's kind of a big deal

because I've talked about that. That was a big moment in my life. Any year, Coachella comes up because I have to go to Coachella for work And I go I'm calling the coachella. She's like I had sex backstay. I know he brings up to I was fine I was fine. Thank you for reminding me of that. So anyway, Justin I haven't seen each other while I ran into you in LA and we're both here now. So it's awesome. It's wonderful It's great great to see you great to see you too and thanks for coming on the show Jordan

Hey, how's it going? Just met Jordan Jordan. You are in Justin's 41. Yes You're 25 25 and you live in LA. Yes, and are you cat? You're casually dating now only casually dating. Okay. No How are you meeting people a variety of ways? I kind of go off and on each month. Sometimes it's the apps. Sometimes it's a bar scene, but Craigslist is very shady and Craigslist is how it started right? Yeah, just don't meet in those random Starbucks because they were like next door. Yeah. Yeah. So use all the apps that I don't Yes, I don't date like long-term. It's just always shortterm, or friends with benefits. Do you ever want that or you just didn't? No.

Never. I don't like caring about myself on a daily basis. I don't have time to care about someone else. I felt about a dog, I totally got it. So I'm selflessly selfish in that. And do you tell the girls that right away? Yes, straight. You're like, hey, you so nice to meet you,

you want to drink, you want to drink, you want to drink beer? Okay, so listen, this is just casual. Yeah, 100%. And then do you find that they're kind of turned out, like they, they're like meet you? It's a variety. You've probably had a variety of things happen. Yeah, 100%. And then do you find that they're kind of turned out, they're like, me too? It's a variety. You've probably had a variety of things happen. Yeah, it's a lot of different angles,

but usually it works out. It's just tough to find them. Tough to find them? Yeah, I mean, like in a bar, if you go up to five year olds, let's say, one's like, oh, you're an asshole, two, it's like, oh, that's really do she's saying, and then the three's like, oh, I can kind of see that, like maybe in a little bit.

Right, and then you go over. But you keep moving down to, yeah, I'm just like, no, okay, you're gonna move down the line, and then eventually it's like, oh, I'm kind of see that, like maybe in a little bit. Right, and then you go over. But you keep moving down, yeah, I'm just like, no, okay, you're not gonna move down the line. And then eventually it's like, oh, I'm just here to have fun tonight. Boom, thank you. Okay, I'm in, okay, wait, I gotta go back to Justin for one second, because I didn't ask you about this.

Yeah, yeah. So you are dating? No, I'm not, I actually. In the past, you ask. Yeah, of course, yeah. Okay, I'm sorry, go ahead. No, but no, go ahead, just finish, keep going. No, you know, it's interesting because I came out of a

relationship About three months ago And it was it was a full solid year of exclusivity and and prior to that This was someone that was in my life also named Emily by the way Okay, and but prior to that, you know, we'd been in Ch others' lives for many years. We were together for a couple of years. Then we were not together, we're kind of off and on.

So I'm actually kind of fresh back on the scene. And all of these things, these technologies, all of this stuff is actually pretty new. OK, so in the past, though, let's say before that, I feel like when I met you, you were kind of like a stud doing thing. No? What's that mean?

And I don't know what that means. No, you have that like fancy love, it walked in, there's like my friend, she's like, she's like Justin, that guy you walked in, and there was like porn on the TV, you have a party, and there's like porn on TV, I walked in, I'm like, hey, like you were like party guy, but we'll get into that. Okay. So next, we have Tara. Hi.

Hi, Tara. Tara is actually my new assistant as well. And she is, you've had you flirted with casual sex and dating. I've had casual sex. Not recently. Right. But in the past you did casually. And what about early around like were you in committive relationship? You're 41. Today, happy birthday. Woo. Okay. Sarah. There are. Okay. Seriously. You have been Okay, Sarah. There are cupcakes here. Previously, you have been casual. We've casual, were you committed?

Yeah, I'd say the first, better half of my 20s was, I didn't really, I don't know. Yeah, I'm definitely the opposite of you, done, not a serial monogamous, not back then. So yeah, good portions of my 20s and 30s. We're spent that way. Casually, okay, and we have Laurie. Hi. 20s and 30s. Okay. We're spent that way. Casually. Okay, and we have Laurie.

Hi. My fan tabulous intern. Hey. Laurie is 27. Tell me about your, what's up with you now? How many guys you're banging? Uh, I'm currently banging zero. Just recently I was banging one or two, and then now I'm banging neither of them because they're huge assholes.

Really? What happened? Just like, well... She got to know them. Exactly! No, like I'm over it, it's fine. Okay, but I remember there was one of them helped you test out the young. That is one of the huge assholes, yeah. What was it that was the flex? It was the flex.

It was the prey flex vibrator. You know, we'll probably still have sex in the picture. See, that's the thing. That's my feeling about it right now. It's an asshole, but then you also have sex with them. Like, what's up with that? Why is he an asshole? I don't know, because I can separate sex

from how I feel about him. You can separate sex from assholes. OK. In a way. Yeah, but I can't really, coming back toholes. Okay. Yeah. In a way. Yeah, but I totally like sex. Coming back to Justin's point. Okay. I'd say historically though, in about 50-50 with the relationship casual sex thing, like I've

had several serious long-term relationships and then several years of just casual sex. And are you okay with that or is it part of you like, kind of want to do that yearning like, but I'd like to find one guy? I straight up want to find one guy. Yeah. Okay. Like I hell, uh, go for the relationship. Just it doesn't always happen that way and I'm cool with it. Okay. But yeah, I'm total romantic. Really, I usually catch feelings. Right. Yeah. Have it. See, that's the thing. So that's one of the things I want to talk about. Uh, man, it's for the bio before you had this girlfriend, which is just ruin my life.

Oh, what happened? Just kidding, because you used to be more like, fine, you're not hugging out, no, it's cool. I'm glad you're like, you're like, you're not hugging out, you're not hugging out. No, but whatever, you're just gonna have, you've nothing to say, you don't have to. What do you mean, no, I think,

I don't think, I don't know how it is for women, I think, probably a lot easier and quicker if they wanted to have casual sex, with guys are just lame and dumb and dumb The pretty much the only thing that keeps heterosexual men from having sex all the time is women Also themselves because they they don't even pick up on like cues that a woman is actually interested in them because they're that dumb a lot of time I think like Maybe late 20s and then early 30s, that's when a lot of the casual sex started happening.

Yeah, no it's true because it is. It's too afraid and shy and all that scrolls not into me and questioning everything. Right. Maybe, I mean, not all people are the same, but at least that's what was happening for me. I got it. Okay, so I have a little definition here of people are confused. What is casual sex? I'm going to define three different types

of casual sex scenarios. It's a sexual activity between people who are not established sexual partners or do not know each other very well. A one-night stand, a sexual relationship lasting only one night. Imagine that. Friends and benefits.

A friend in which you are allowed sexual activity, but no true relationship is involved. The benefit is purely sexual, not to be tied with feelings. And then there's the almost relationships or the almost boyfriend, which I talked about earlier with this year with Annie Daly. She writes for The New York Post, and she called me about for a press story. And she said, if you heard about this almost boyfriend thing, I'm like, what's the difference? And it's kind of like a friend's she said, if you heard about this almost boyfriend thing, I'm like, what's the difference? And it's kind of like a friend's benefits, but you spend a lot of their time together

and may or not be seeing other people, but they're fully committed. But it's not really an open relationship. They might be your parents. I don't know. I think people are just kind of kind of called with new terms. But is it really that everyone's just looking for the bigger, better deal you think?

Or are people just really just interested in having sex right now, like more sex. I want to have sex all the time. I feel like I have a really high sex drive. Really more. Okay. But I'm also like super commitment-minded. So this is like my lifelong struggle, because I always want to have sex, but to find a relationship

takes time, and I cannot have sex right now. But if you're also sleeping with multiple people, does it become kind of confusing? I feel like I do a lot of casual, but I do want it a time. I don't typically sleep with more than one person in succession. Okay. Yeah, I don't know. I go from one to the next to the next.

Sometimes it's quick, but they don't really overlap right why? What do you don't think they work out? Oh my god, I wish I knew I don't know I don't know. I have no idea. Maybe it's me. I Think you guys the thing that I always think about casual sex and friends with benefits is that it has a shelf life Like it can't really go on forever sexual sex and friends with benefits is that it has a shelf life. Like, it can't really go on forever. Oh, it doesn't. Yeah, it does.

No, the same with the same person, because it usually ends up that one person wants more. And it's not only the chicks, Justin, sometimes the women, guys want more than the woman does. Sure. Absolutely. Because you were saying women, I mean, I know that you were kidding when you're saying, oh, guys, but I think some of it's true that guys would just sleep around until women are like, hey, yeah, I mean, just generally speaking, I think there is sort of, I think this issue

divides along gender roles pretty starkly, where I think if you pull 100 guys and 100 women, I think you're gonna find that typically more men will be pro casual sex and then women will be, as far as not having relationship, just kind of hooking up, it's very sort of male genetically, it's sort of a male-centric behavior. It's almost like the trend of casual sex

is sort of validating like historical, like evolutionary behavior in great men. Right, exactly. Which is not to say that women can't enjoy it too, and clearly they do. You know what I suspect? I suspect that, because I'm 41, and when I grew up, if you wanted

to get a look at a porn or a movie or a naked picture, you had to, you know, 12 years old, sum it up the courage and go up to the newsstand and buy a porn omag, you know, which I did. I'm sorry, you did. With my older brother hiding around the corner, peaking around, you know, seeing what's going on. But today, it's everywhere. The internet is a wash in pornography, and you can see absolutely everything. And it's's interesting because when I When I have dated below my age at you know with girls in their 20s Their attitudes towards sex and sexual freedom are so much different than girls, you know when you were I was that

That's what I'm saying. It's a totally different thing. So they really are More open to they're like hey, it's cool Yeah, but it's not it's not, whatever, but what I work for is- It's not as secret, it's not as taboo. I mean, you look at an extreme example in Saudi Arabia where everybody's completely covered up in head to toe and the guys are all freaking out and people's relationships with sex is all whack and weird.

Here, increasingly with younger generations where it's open and it's available and it's everywhere, it's almost not such a big thing. Yeah, I mean, well, this is what I wonder, because I do agree that men and women are both on board with it more, and they're 20s, like I know that when I was my 20s, I wouldn't be like, yeah, I'm banging five guys right now.

I'm doing this to that, like it would be like, you, I don't know, maybe you were, but we weren't talking about, we were going towards relationships. But then I've also like, you know, write a lot of stories, books, but like women are kind of just falling out men, but they aren't as comfortable with it, that it sort of feels like it's not natural

and then, but I think it also with, you know, I don't know, what do you guys think? Is it something that you felt like you're, or is it more that you're okay with it until you have feelings and then you want more? There's so many things. I mean, me growing up, it was the 90s when I was in my 20s. So yeah, like what you were saying, there was even if you were dating juggling multiple men at once, not something you bragged about. Right, maybe guys did, but it's that whole stigma with being a woman. You're not. You're going to be looked down on like, oh, that's the slutty

one. Right. But hasn't that changed? I don't think it's changed. I don't think it's changed as much as it should have. Okay, let's rest up Jordan here. He's 25. Jordan, what do you think? Are these girls slut, what are they slutty or are they? I did do it has changed. I get to the point usually especially with like a friends with benefits situation where it does get to that feeling point.

And so far it has not been for my side. It's normally them. And at that point, it's more of a, I kind of warn you in the beginning, like I wasn't looking for this and it unfortunately does end but occasionally like long-term like I forgot to mention it that you bring them back around later on they're like oh wow like what we had was like kind of cool like I did it dating you bring them back no no they initiate the content yeah and I'm not gonna say like I know it's not great for their psychiatric area but for me it's like we're not paying the bills yeah for me it's more like hey look like it's not great for their psychiatric area, but for me it's like, but I'm not paying the bills. Yeah, for me it's more like,

hey look, like it's your choice. Like already warned you, you definitely know what you're jumping in with. It's not me searching out for it. So it's interesting because I wonder if women, typically, you know, this goes both ways again, but women think, well, I can change them. I'll be the one, Jordan.

Like you're gonna be a challenge for me. Yeah, you say you don't want something committed, but I'm gonna be, you're gonna fall in love with me and you're like not gonna happen you know they always think that they always they don't part of the chase for them absolutely yeah it goes it does go both ways but I can fix him yeah I can fix him and and it almost is like yeah well that's kind of I know it's so weird who Who are you? You got a dog and I'm being PC. I'm not a PC police. I'll be a police officer. No, I get it. I am too. But I have to say that it's interesting just because I typically was the one who didn't want, I would get into them, but I was like, they guy was saying to me, like, oh, do you want a relationship? And I was like, oh yeah, I guess I will because you want it,

but I don't. And then it's funny because the more I would say like, I'm really not looking for anything, they would want more. Oh, that's so true. And it's like that whole thing in life you want what you can't have. But I'm not like the typical normal feel mail in that way, but do you find that as well? Yeah, absolutely. That there are always like, that there are the women, it's like bait, it's like, what is it like catnet?

Catnet. Yeah. The second you say like, I don't want it, they're like that. I want more, I want more. Yeah. And it's tough to deflect because like you kind of like, you know they care about you. And it's like not the best thing to like ruin their feelings,

but the same thing. What happened to your childhood though, your parents married? No, divorced. Of course. Yeah. So you didn't's like not the best thing to like ruin their feelings, but What happened to your childhood though your parents married? No, divorced. Of course. So you didn't see like a model of a really great relationship. What age were you and they were divorced? Have you lied down in the couch saying, yeah, it looks like they're gonna sex with someone here. No, it's only like 15 years.

It's an interesting point that how will you when your parents were divorced? Five. Five, okay. So yeah, my parents are happily married and have been my whole life So I feel like I'm I'm looking for that. Okay, that's my idea of it. What about you Tara? They divorced but I was in my 20s. I was already living living out here So I'm not even sure everyone always talks about like well I I want to be with I was talking to guy friend

He's like I want to be with the girl whose parents are still married because then she's got a lot of issues or And I'm thinking to myself I friends even now who are like their parents are divorced, you know, maybe they never knew their dad or whatever it is and then parents are being together forever and either parent, people whose parents are being together forever, they're having problems finding someone because they're like, I want it to be the love like my parents have and then there's people like, oh, well relationships don't work. So I don't think, I mean, of course your child has a major impact on who you are, but I don't know if it's, I think this casual sex thing is just, you know, taking over. I think it stands to reason that if somebody is raised with, you know, two loving parents

and a longstanding relationship and that's sort of the model that you have and you look up to that and you aspire to that, I'd imagine that you'd be less inclined to sort of like have casual sex and meaningless kind of hookups because that's something that you're deep down trying to sort of like have casual sex and meaningless kind of hookups. Because that's something that you're deep down trying to attain in your own life.

But what if it's not even available now? Like, is it really even, are you guys have two friends in your 20s? Do you really think that's true? It's not even like, that ship has sailed. I think it's available, but I think, no, I do think that you can find someone,

but if people are oriented more towards like, it's gonna be, it might be harder to find. Like, do you find like, Jordan, like, I mean, I know you don't want it, but how long did these relationships typically last before these women are like? Longest, maybe two months. Yeah, that's right. That makes sense. That makes sense.

And like, even in my friend bracket, like all my friends, there's only one that's actually in a long-term community relationship. Everyone else is like shelf life average, six to nine months, but more like, it's more one, one week like that's a but do you ever want more like to the part of you ever want that commitment and that intimacy? You haven't had it yet, so you don't know. I yeah, no. No. I see it through like reality TV. It's great TV and I'm so oh The bachelor yeah, there's like it's Caitlin popped in the street right now I might change my mind straight up because I love that chick, but people out in the real world not yet Yeah, there you go. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you.

There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you.

There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you.

There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. There's five of you. I might change my mind. There's five of you. There's five of really depressing. But the thing is, okay, one of my favorite quotes that I'm sorry is from Annie Hall, because I know Woody Allen is not that popular right now, but it is my favorite quote. And he says, it was Alvi Singer. Do you guys all see Annie Hall? By chance, best movie all the time. So, okay, a relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know, it has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark. And I think that's what happens a lot with really these friends. Eventually, someone's gonna, you know.

It reminds me of another quote, which is love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit. Oh, okay. That's beautiful. That's a good one. That was really like, bring it from the end to bring up body, body functions. Also you shouldn't like settle into a relationship.

I think a lot of people settle in a relationship. Oh, that's a pain. And then like 15 years later they wake up and they're like, oh my god, this has been terrible, this entire time. And then they finally get the courage to break it off, you know? I agree. I like keep on going out there and hook it up with people. But if you find somebody that you think is really cool and awesome, then yeah, you should probably. Right, exactly. It's the other end of the spectrum because I think what what used to be happening or what could still happen now? but if you find somebody that you think is really cool and awesome, then yeah, you should probably.

Right, exactly. It's the other end of the spectrum because I think what used to be happening are what can still happen now. And again, I grew up in Michigan. All my friends in Michigan are married. Or actually, this is now they're not getting divorced now because it's been like a teenager.

It's been a year. But what I'm saying is you will get married in their 20s, typically, it's just we change so much. And we maybe, you know, we things happen, you've kids, you get busy, and then you just I don't know a lot of you'll get to work after 10 15 years. That's true. I'm from a small town in the East Coast and everyone I know got married really young in their old horse now. So right exactly. So it's kind of hard to find like what do you you know the the balance or that's why I say wait until you know yourself better because the

other thing is like people in smaller towns not in the the big cities, they think, okay, well, I've dated you, we've had sex, we've been dating for three months, this is it. And maybe they haven't even experienced that much sex. They haven't been dating as many other people, and then they become, they're in their 40s, and they're like, I wanna bang someone else, I've had sex with the same person forever.

Yeah, my parents have been together my whole life, but they were both divorced from other people. So the one that worked was the second time around. Like, they both came from previous marriages and now, like, they're my idea of a perfect relationship and marriage. But that was their second time. That was their marriage. Yeah, it was the second time.

Yeah, usually, that's when I get a little start of marriage, though, I should be married into it. I started to be divorced by now at least, but I never wanted to get married. Okay, we're going to take quick break. We come back. This is all going to turn to sex people, because it was a sex family. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm about first of all, do you guys practice safe sex in these casual relationships? Be honest.

Always. Do you remember? I don't believe you, really? Always. You carry condoms with you all the time? All the time. Hell no. Let me see your pockets right now.

And it's in my backpack. Oh, OK. Bring that backpack with me everywhere. Oh, OK. Really? OK, but one thing, just a little note, public service announcements that you shouldn't actually carry condoms in your wallet, because they

can disintegrate and they can't stick it. If you open it, there's sticky, messy, and you don't use it. So what is the best place to carry them? The best place is just to, I guess, you know, it's just, yeah, just somewhere. That's easy. Before you go out, the truth is the glove compartments are really bad place. So hopefully women are comfortable with, wherever you're at, they should just be condoms ever. I really can't even twirl the paper, should just be condoms ever like I have to wear the paper

You should have condoms. What about you? I agree. I agree. They're either in my purse right now You never know what's gonna happen in the studio You guys have a verse of the guy seeing a carry around like through and all but I think there's a stigma What do you think Lori like? Usually carry them, but I will be honest There have been a couple occasions that it didn't get used. Like, just a couple. I mean, I feel like the latex bothers me.

And when I'm hella drunk, I will take that and run with it. Okay. Well, it's interesting that you said that because there are non latex condoms, which usually grab skin. Yeah. Okay, so these are like my new favorite condoms, SKYN.

You should know this for all the people you guys are banging, or potentially banging, that a lot of women do have allergies to latex skin. It's poly isoprene and it's a different material than latex, and they actually feel really, really good. They're soft and they're thin, but they're super durable. You should get all over that. Just use Seran Rapil again. Yeah, don't listen to any of that for a minute. So, okay, a question for ladies, the ladies here.

Studies have shown, and I know this typically, that women want to feel safe, and they want to feel comfortable. And when they're with somebody, they always say that the sex, you have with someone that's more casual, is not as good as when you're in a committed relationship. And even typically for women to orgasm, they need to be, you know, they always say like, I have to know my body, I have to know them for a while,

and the sex isn't as great. What would you say about that? I'd say that's true. I'd say that's true now at the age I am now. I mean, when I was younger, I think the exciting thing about casual sex is the thrill of the chase. You know, you're out and you see someone, you spend the evening pursuing them and flirting

and you don't know in the back and forth and all that shit. And then by the time you actually do the deed, sometimes you're like, that was it. Right, exactly, all that for that. It's the adrenaline. It's the dopamine, it's that excitement. And then you get, you're like, right. And you know, I mean, sometimes it's just face it.

First time sex can be awkward because you don't know each other's bodies and what you're in due and what not. So where I am now, yeah, absolutely. what you're in due and what not. So where I am now, yeah, absolutely. When you're with someone and you know them and you trust them and they know how to turn you on and get you off and all these things, they know what works for you. That kind of chemistry, that's definitely better. I think it's better. Yeah. I usually will have sex on the first day and it's almost always awful. Like, it's just, it doesn't, doesn't ever work out.

The best sex I've ever had is like two years into a four year relationship. Right, because you're more comfortable you're talking about it, you know. Right, you know each other. Okay, so Jordan and Justin, so when you're with someone, knew the first time, like you guys probably think

it's always awesome the first time, no? I mean, like, I forgot, no. I say nine son of a kind, it's kind of bad. Really the first time? Yeah, unless you either. Why's it bad? What makes it bad? There's not...

The ones I've been with are not as comfortable as where my friends with benefits I am very open to a lot of things and I like being as active as possible and move. Like, very crazy. Oh, let's watch them porn. Okay, let's copy that. But like, if you can't really pull that out on the first night because most girls aren't as comfortable because you've been to each other. Justin does. Before I've been to... Hey. Justin, let's go somewhere after this.

I'm kidding. The first time I went to it, he was like having a party, he was like just big huge born screen. I'm like, hey, my friends were like, anyway, I was just talking to my pictures. Justin, the guy with the born, that's what you're known for. And you're like legends. But here's my question for you though. So you're saying to me then, is the first you of these one night stands and then, so the sex isn't as great. So you have to wait for the two month mark till it gets more comfortable, but then it you though. So you're saying to me then, is the first, you have these one night stands, and then, so the sex isn't as great. So you have to wait for the two month mark, till it gets more comfortable, but then it's over. So you gotta start out, keep starting over again.

Yeah, I mean. That's okay though, it's fine. I feel like it. I'll take it. So what are the crazy moves and things that you wanna try after, like, you've known them for a while? Crazy. I'm a big fan of, like, a pull-up bar.

A pull-up bar? Oh, yeah, like, over the door and just getting some crazy, you're like, like, you're a pull-up bar. A pull-up bar? Oh, yeah, like over the door and just getting some crazier, like, like, you're a pull-up bar that you're doing, like. Yeah, and like, you know, it's not a synchronized swimmer or in a gymnast who can, is very flexible. That's very interesting. Where most people, girls are, you know, fine, which is laying on the back.

So we're just being right. But like, you pull, I don't want to just try and understand, like, I hold that. No, I hold that. Can we back up to that? Yeah, let's go. Who's on the bar in this?

The girl is most often on the bar, and it's more. She's like this, hang on the bar. Yeah, or we'll like hold them up as anything tapping or lower the bar down. Can you like go down it? Like, so maybe that's a good way. Yeah. Perform oral sex on these women.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Most of the time. I'm, I'm just like, you know, you give, I give. I'm God. Oh no, no, no, no. Most of the time. I'm, I'm, I'm a, like, you know, you give, I give, I'm all for that. But she has to get first. Not necessarily.

But usually. But usually. We go 60-40. Okay. 60-40. Because my friend, he, she says Tinder's like a blow-dubbed dispensary. He's like every girl that's gives a blow-dub in the first day.

Lori's nodding. Is that what you do? I, yeah. I mean, I will. I mean, absolutely. The thing is, like, most of my relationships have Is that what you do? I, yeah. I mean, I will. I mean, absolutely. The thing is, like, most of my relationships have started as casual sex and then they turn

into, like, a super serious relationship. So... Could you must give a killer blowjob? I, I really do. Yeah, and I learned more. We saw last night. Oh my god, I gave a blowjob workshop and she was my model on the doldo and it was, it was pretty impressive. I just have to say. It's still the show. Tara, how about

you with sex and being, I don't know, oral, like do you feel like, I'm gonna say oral sex. Okay. Do you find that men who have been with, they need more direction, do they prefer, so I'll do they perform all sex on you right away? Or do you feel like they're waiting for you to give the load up first? It's I find most men love love performing all sex only a few times a couple times in my life Have I come across men that are like it's not my thing which you know deal breaker? So I know I agree. I totally I totally agree It's not something I require every day But I like it And I like performing it, but I'm not,

I'm definitely not that girl who does it on the first date or even right away. I don't know, that makes me, it is intimate. I wanna do it when I like someone, you know? Right, I gotta like a guy, but then I'm into it. Then I'm into it. If you like him, then you're like your penis. What were you gonna do Justin,

were you gonna say something about? Oh, no, I just feel the need to sort of back up a little bit here. And talk about, for me, what a casual encounter is, all the long-term relationships that I've ever had have started as casual encounters. But for me, a casual encounter has to be an encounter with someone with whom you have a connection, and you feel a strong attraction.

And that's not just physically or your hot, but wow, I really dig your mind and we're like clearly vibing on each other. And typically when that happens and it's undeniable, then you're just gonna rip each other's clothes off right away anyway, so it kind of happens quickly. So this idea of sort of casual relationships, it's I guess by the definition of

I don't really know that person very well, but I'm gonna hook up with him and have sex with him, that's not something that I do. Okay, so you really have to have that. I mean, I agree with you. I mean, I, for me, I haven't had a ton of, I mean, just random casual, I know, believe it or not. I mean, I've had maybe a few one nights, I don't know, not many, like, because I typically, for me, I have to have like that connection, like, I agree, intellectual, and physical, and then it can move into

something else but I can't and I guess if you're really drunk maybe but I don't get that drunk I think if I was a bigger drinker I'd have more of those stories I've never had a one night stand right ever I'm super they're over working on that they're over it on the way what about you you care is it more like hot chicken at the bar like you don't't really care, you'd rather not talk. It's okay. And I go 18 to 60. That's like if you're following that range, we're good to go.

18 to 60? Yeah, I'm not as picky. Like it's more like, oh, if I've made eye contact, I can sell like, oh, you're looking like you're interested. It's like, okay, I'll go over, say some cheeky banter, blah, blah, blah, moving forward and then go from there. So for you, it sounds like it's kind of about the conquest. That's like a little work.

That's what it is. It's working. I mean, hey, it's so good. I'm exhausted. Just listen to that. I mean whether it's doing that at the bar or swiping right on the halves, like you're doing work, it's just how much you want to put in and then what's the result. Okay, but have you ever had one of these where you're like, oh god,

I really, well clearly not, I like to her, but not, not, not, I one of these where you're like, oh God, I really well clearly not but I'd like to her but not Not I think that your emotion thing is like motion very low. Have you had therapy? Oh too many years Really? Okay, I just feel like it's gonna be a great but you'll have you know your twenties. Here's a thing though I don't I don't want you to talk to that. Yeah, like I almost feel like I wish that I I mean I made up for it in the years, but I'm saying in my 20s I was like relationship relationship, you know, and I'm saying in my 20s, I was like, relationship, relationship. You know, and I'm not saying there's a better, worse way to do it,

but right now you're just having fun. And so how about blow jobs? Can I, let's get into blow jobs. How about blow jobs? Hey, how about those blow jobs? Okay. Did you want to go back to the emotional? Can I?

No, I'm like, Justin, try to make it deeper. I just, and you've really grown into a man. Because you actually, I remember when I met you when I started my show, and you did actually, which I'll never forget, gave me your three tips for a great blow job. That's right. And you remember them?

I do. It was technique. Sure. Enthusiasm. And how she looks while she's doing it. Correct. I don't know. There was like a show in 2006 I was doing.

But do you still, and how often do you come across good blow jobs these days? Well on a perk encounter basis like percentage, I would say maybe 70% good. Okay, you know. All right, and Jordan, what about you? I'm up there like 16, 17. Is it like pizza, though? Like there's not a thing is bad pizza, like a blowjob.

Oh no, no, no, no, there's bad pizza. Okay, what is a bad pizza? What is a bad pizza? Definitely. And there are bad blowjumps. What's a bad blowjob? Well, any one of it, take away any one. What makes a blowjob not as enjoyable?

So number one, the most important thing is enthusiasm and passion on her part. She's a part in the front part of my French, but worship the cock. You know what I mean? Where she's like, loves it, is totally into it. If she's shy and tepid and a little scared and unsure, it kind of makes you feel uncomfortable

because it's like, well, you've got my talking about, but you're unsure about it. There's something just instantly unsexy about that. That's true. I always say that. I always say the enthusiasm. We talked about it last night. My workshop that I've always said it,

and I knew I agreed with you with your things, some of them, I don't know if that's an order, but I think enthusiasm is number one, that even for oral sex, a guy, we don't want anyone between our legs who's like kind of, their eyes are going back in their head and they're checking their phone. Like, you want to know that they're into it,

that they want to be there. Especially when a guy's going down to you too, if he or like the two seconds, he goes down and you're like, well, not enough, I'm sticking out, I'm like, are you kidding? No, one of those guys that I ran into years ago, somebody who really wanted to date me and he wasn't into oral sex.

And he's like, I'll try it for you, because that's how much you liked me. But yeah, exactly, two seconds. And I'm like, oh, just go, just get out. Yeah, I'm just gonna, like, I'm gonna make it wet enough so I can take my piece inside here. Like, that's not oral sex. It's obvious you're not into this, and I, yeah, no. So what makes good oral sex?

My number one thing, when receiving oral sex, is that it's so important not to just go right for the clip. Like the build up, if I could tell every guy that's ever gone down on me and ever will, like please, please maintain some sort of suspense and build up. And then, and then you'll come like that. But if you like to start that, yeah, if you start fast, then you have nowhere to go and you just won't ever come. Right.

Guys, we talked about this for two hours last night. I do the workshop You can't go right for the clip like that's I get that you've learned what the clip is and I'm so happy that Just that you've got to hold back on you got to hold back you got to do some misogyny Vivalva yes, yeah, I was gonna say what's gonna come to the blow jobs also just apply pressure man Nothing is worst when you have no pressure on it at all. Yeah, it's true. That was basically just floating around in your mouth. Very, very true.

No, I'm serious. You guys, that was one of my top five tips last night for low jobs that you just stood too soft. Like, you have to think about your mimicking of a vagina. You're mimicking their hands. So you have to have that much pressure. Oh, my penis like in a vacuum, not a cloud, you know?icking their hands, so you have to have that much pressure. Oh, my penis like in the fact, you're not a cloud, you know? Right, that's a good one, man.

I think fundamentally male and female anatomy and what feels good are kind of on other ends of the spectrum, where a penis is pretty much resilient and pretty like bulletproof, like you can squeeze it, whack it, like, they're tough, they're tough, and they were kind of require a lot of pressure and effort, whereas a woman's vagina is anything but. Right, exactly.

Just after a lighter touch, a stranger is like vagina would. That's why the vagina's considered flower penis is wood. Exactly. We're very different on it. It was very, very different. So the case of a question, if you guys,

do you think that men and women have different expectations for casual and sex partners? Like, do you feel like that it's the same? Like, what are your expectations from someone really? Is it just like, return my call at 11 o'clock at night? Because we're gonna hook up or do you feel it gets more complicated with the casual sex part? We make it complicated. I don't even know if it's necessarily even a man-woman thing. It's like an individual thing. Every single person has different expectations and different

wants and needs and requirements and whatever, and issues and, you know, mental blocks, whatever they have, when it comes to sex. And you don't know what you're getting into, you just hope that it's going to sort of mesh with yours so that it can last as long as it can and usually it doesn't. Right. Okay. So what about, do you think that women are, I don't know, like you've all these casual relationships, but they start getting, like, come on, what you might parent, like, is that ever happen or like, where were you Friday night? Like the second they're, what happens?

Not really. That's why I try and preface as much as possible. Like, I will continue to say even after like, we've had sex. I'm like, look, look, this was very fun. We may do it one time or twice, but this is going nowhere. I try and be as straightforward as possible because I've seen the other girls

like I'm friends with being led on but as fast as I was like, oh, we might have a relationship or whatnot. But in the end, it's the same stuff they just want to have as fast as we as long as possible and then cut out when they realize, oh wow, I have to meet the family now. I'm done.

I try and be as honest and straightforward as possible, and I feel that me doing that, it could be line-shade to my face, I don't know, but with that, it works better for at least me. Can I answer your question? All right, any of these women that you hook up with, that you have sex with, do you really, do you like them as people sometimes?

Ha, ha, ha, ha. You really don't, you don't want to hang out with them the next day. You're like, don't let the door hit you in the ass. Ah, no, I'd shine, I leave. I'm not more of like, I'd shine ready to their turn. They're more comfortable. And it's like, if worst case scenario, if I do say over that night, yes, I will get a food with you.

I'm not going to be a complete dick about it. Is there like friendly pillow talk afterward? Where are you like, I mean, I mean, oh, do you want to watch some friends? Like, I guess we'll find out. It's just a pillow. Do you like, I mean, I mean, oh, do you want to watch some friends? Like, I guess I'm fine. It's just a bit of a little, definitely. Do you like women? Yes, I do. You do.

I think that's a good point though, like, but you're not finding like, you're not talking to them about like feelings or things you like or emotions. Like, I know my emotions and feelings of scale is very low for right now. And like, there is that side eventually that can come out, but right now, like you said, it's my 20s, like, I don't even want to consider having relationships like, there is that side eventually, that can come out, but right now, like you said, it's my 20s, like I don't even wanna consider having a relationship, like there's too many beers out there in the world, I wanna try a lot of them before I even consider like, oh wow, that's my favorite beer,

like let's look at for that and see what she brought to table and try and find that again. Did you find a nice hoppy one? So you just let go. I mean, yeah, I think eventually you're going to hope that it's going to be something will happen. But you know, you're very honest about this. I appreciate that because I, I've meet people online sometimes like half and half like

you and oftentimes they'll say like looking for a relationship and I meet them and they talk to me as if they're looking for a relationship. They give me unsolicited compliments and love, and then act like how you're talking, you know? And so if someone were to say it, like if someone were to say like, this is never going anywhere, it's only sex, I'd be like, yes, thank you so much for letting me know.

But don't you also run into a lot of women that absolutely don't believe you when you're saying all this stuff? Yes, yeah, that it's to convince someone like I'm like, look, I'm not lying to you, like please understand, because I've just been down this road. You're like, you're just testimonials. Yeah, I'm like, let me just call my friend the website.

Yeah, it would be easy, but there is definitely resistance. You have like, for nerf phones, they have to throw a lot of things. I think it's full of wool. I mean, Oh, phones. Um, what? Just keep getting a new Google number, right? Yeah. God, you guys, so funny. I mean, phones.

Just keep getting a new Google number. God, you guys so funny. And so is it Tinder? You've used Tinder too. So do you find that people are saying yes, I want it, and they don't. Laura, you're having that experience with that as well. Absolutely.

Over and over. I feel like maybe that's these guys' ways of like hook in a girl is to pretend like they're looking for a relationship when they're not. That's cool. But do you think that you might be projecting that too much right away and then they're like afraid of that?

That I feel like I go in pretty cautious because I know that I catch feelings. So I go in pretty. Yeah, but do you think you project that? Like, oh, I'm really looking for, you know, a solid relationship, like too early, I'm really looking for, you know, a solid relationship, like too early on when getting to know somebody. Maybe you don't pick up on that and then they get scared and run away.

Well, they don't run away. It's like too much too fast. They don't run away. They just wanted to do everything but they're running away. So I should not... I'm trying to say like... I should be dishonest about it. No, no, I'm not saying don't be dishonest. Do you think she gets like eating and clinging? Right. Is that it? Well, I don't want to say that. Right, but I just said it.

But yeah, it might just like, well, this might be moving too fast for me. I feel they fully participate in the quick movement though. Yeah, I mean any guys like Yeah, and the other thing is is that we have to talk about the attachment thing So the reason why I started out saying inherently it is sort of like Justin was saying earlier like it is kind of like I think how men have always wanted it Maybe they've reluctantly gotten into relationships, but for women, it's biological. We have the oxytocin. We get attached. After we have sex in an orgasm with someone, we get attached. Many women do. And so it's interesting because men also

have the oxytocin that spikes, it spikes, but then it drops. It's why you fall asleep right after a woman or like, oh my god, that's why I always say it's best. I mean, I don't have rules weight three months, but if you actually like someone, like you like one of these guys, let's say, I would say withhold, not withhold, but weight-tev sex. Wait to see if you actually really like them because what happens is when women, a lot of women have sex too soon, then they just think they just, they can't see the red flags waving in the distance, I would say, because they're just attached to the sex part. So, the more longer you wait to have sex, someone you actually get to learn more about the person, their character, do they, you know, what they could person.

I don't have sex, but I know. But like, yeah, given you so many vibrators at this point. I know. I know. Does Emily Oprah Clauseen show you her arsenal of things that will hold you over for a while. She knows. She knows. She's that.

It's like in my office. I'm curious too. So here's another thing, a little study here that I just wanted to, it was kind of going back to that. It says, this is what it says, is that I'm going to find this. It was just more about how women just have a harder time, like I was saying, with attachment, and okay, forget it doesn't matter. It caused, okay, wait, in 1989, okay, the stigma has gotten better, but it still exists.

The stigma with having sex too soon or whatever, if men are judging women, especially for women. So in 1989, study asked male and female participants if they would engage in sex with a stranger, if propositioned. 70% of men said yes compared with zero percent of women. This is in 1989. 2012, a new research discovered that women said no for two reasons.

So they're still saying no. Number one, they don't want to be labeled as a slut. So they're still like this labeling thing, and they don't think the sex would be very good. Like we talked about it, because really is the sex that great on the first thing we were saying, like the guys are good, you guys are like, it's not so bad, the first thing gets better,

but not like I said before, I think one night stands are overrated, they are. You just, you don't really know what you're getting at. It's more about the chase and the excitement on that. So this, another report was, casual sex has been seen as a male activity for some time, a recent pull from self magazine, says that women do enjoy the anonymous hookup. It analyzes a response of 2000 unattached women between the ages of 18 and 63. Jordan, that might have been someone that you

just had to talk with. And found that 82% of them have engaged in casual sex. So I just think there's like a shelf life and you can't go on forever, but maybe we need to alter our behaviors if we are looking for something serious. So I'm gonna have you guys help me answer an email, if anything else wants to? No, no, no, I'm waiting for the emails. You know I love them.

I know, you guys. We're gonna do a little round table answer of an email here. You guys are awesome. Is there anything else you guys wanted to say about, see anything else you guys want to say about casual sex or the relationship or anything? You want to add? I think it's awesome. Is there anything else you guys wanted to say about, see, anything else you guys want to say about casual sex or the relationship or anything? You want to add? I think it's awesome.

Very helpful. Wait, I wanted to note from Jordan, did you, do you think that if a woman has a high number of sexual partners in her history, that that makes her like slutty, does that turn you off to her? No, I'm absolutely not one to judge. If anything, like if you have a higher number, it's easier for me to identify with you

because I know you've been through this almost as many times I have Guys, I mean there's a few guys. I don't think a large majority of guys that actually care is don't you think it's just I hate to say it because I'm gonna get an email But you think a lot of it is just women judging other women thinking that they're slits of course Yeah, I think it's a big heart. I think it's meant to though. No, I think this is actually a really good point. But I'm not saying that guys don't say that,

but I feel like a large majority of guys do not care. And it's just other women judging each other saying that they're sluts. I think there's a double strap about them. Yeah, I mean, I think the double standards still exist. Because here's the thing, there's the guys who are like, first of all, let me just say this, don't ever talk about your number with your partner. They ask, I don't care. Like, it's like guys who are like, first of all, let me just say this, don't ever talk about your number with your partner.

They ask, I don't care. Like it's like a donast, don't tell. Don't even know your number. Don't even, exactly, forget your number. I don't know, right? Don't know your number, that's actually a good point. But this conversation never ends well because first of all, why do we need to know that?

And like either the person might judge you and think, God, she's a slut or he's a whatever, been with so many people, or God, they don't have enough experience. Either way, it doesn't end well. But I also do think I know some guys who are like, if I know her number, and she's been with you and people, and I don't want to be with her.

Because I want some, it gets kind of the Madonna whore thing. I want a banger, but she's not the woman I want to sleep with. And then there's some guys who are like, I like that you've experienced. Like, I appreciate that. And so, I just think, just don't forget to talk about it. It's mine. It's mine.

Well, because it's not important. Or do talk about it. And if you're a woman who has a higher number and you're perfectly comfortable with your sexuality and your behaviors and it's healthy in your own mind, and a guy is turned off by that number, well, guess what? That's nothing guy for you. Exactly. But I just also think it's good to talk about what you like. All these people don't talk about sex enough.

The thing is, talk about what you like, what you don't like, but to sit and go like, I had sex with two, 26 people. Like it just sounds interesting. It doesn't get you anywhere. Just so people can find information that is usually not helpful. OK, an email. Ready? Hey, Emily.

I would love to hear your views about the hypocrisy in Hollywood regarding sex and specifically casual sex. I read the headlines around the current bachelor at being vilified for having casual sex on a reality show. Well, I do despise reality TV and never, never watch the show. Talk about a double standard. Sex and one night stands are so sens- sens- sens- sensualized.

In fake movies and TV shows. Exactly what I was saying. Who are making these comments? So I guarantee you, if I go on Twitter, who is calling her a slut? I can probably break down the numbers for you. And I guarantee you, a large majority of the people talking ish on the bachelor's, or women.

Right. Well, that's the majority of people watching i think that show i don't think you have a lot of other sexual guys watching that tons of guys are obsessed with that i don't know if you can avoid it it's also on the news too so guys are gonna guys are gonna comment it on it also oh you can avoid it you do a point that you do a point yeah i will give you that as far as women but it i think just comes back to that competition factor

between women. You know, it comes down to that. I'm glad that you admit it. Because I try to bring this up all the time. I go, why must there always be, I'm not saying all women, but negative comments about a woman crossing the street. Like, oh, women is a team. Women bash other women because it makes them feel better out the house.

And I think it's horrible. I really try, I never do, I don't talk about it. But no woman do. No woman ever looked at a man in lingerie and said what a slut. You know what I mean? It's like, it's got to be a real person that's supposed to threat to them.

And that's it. Maybe two, they're jealous. Maybe I don't know the saturation other than what I've read, but maybe they're like, damn, I wish I could just have a one-nighter with hot guy and not be judged. Yeah. Exactly. So if it's off a steam, it's jealousy, it's competition, and they're actually seeing it

on TV, so it's, they're like that. So what was the question specifically? Well, I didn't think you. I didn't finish the question. So talk about double-stand sex in one night stands or so sensationalized fake movies and TV shows every day, but when a real person has casual sex, it's right back to She's a slut. The same people that made Kim Kardashian a household name after sex tape are slamming this person, thoughts Adam from Chicago?

Well, I don't necessarily think that's true. I mean, I think that's kind of the thesis of this whole show is that it's not like it used to be where if somebody, you know, was discovered that they were having casual sex that, oh, you know, woman is a slut. I think that is changing. So I don't necessarily agree with that. But apparently everyone's been realifying this batch, alright? Is that true, right? Yeah, I mean, all the entertainment news stuff like that. I mean, they pretty much just, all the entertainment news stuff like that. I mean, they pretty much just,

Caitlin, right? I mean, they pretty much just read, you know, what the internet feedback is on social media. Well, let's, let's be honest. We're not talking about real people real life. This is a television show and the whole artifice of this show is so maddening to me because you're gonna give people five,

15 minutes over the course of an entire series to spend time together and they're supposed to decide if they're supposed if they can get married. They have no idea what to do. I know, I know. It's absurd. So, if you brought in the situation

that they're commenting about, that happens on a day to day basis, not even in front of a camera, you know? That's true. But with reality TV, there's just so much more fodder for it now that you're like, what you feel like. So there's so many people

that can jump in and comment on it. I think it's just human nature that people either need to jump on bandwagon's because they need to feel a part of something and part of the community or they need to take sides because they need to feel like they're on a team. It really just boils down to people who aren't belong so they want to like chime in because then they're saying the same thing as this guy and that means they fit in with that crowd. And it's my dream. Yeah, it's on my mom about this actually last week when it came out. And she had an interesting view in the sense that she used the

bachelor as a fantasy romance. So in a romance, typically you don't have that one I'd stand leading up to. It's more like, oh, it's a build up. And then that special night in the fantasy suite. That's why I like to usually wait to it. And the fact that you shouldn't have to deny the attraction you feel. I don't care if it's a first up and then that special night and the fantasy suite, that's why I like to usually wait to it. And the fact that you shouldn't have to deny the attraction you feel. I don't care if it's a first day, 50th day. If you feel it and you want it, go for it.

And it's just because they're so used to it for 20 season or whatever. That's been just this romantic, you know, whole build up. Like, it's like, it's like, it's in modern day like Cinderella. Yeah. Like all these men like, I'm hurting you and so. I just think the backlash is completely unnecessary and I'm pro Caitlyn looking up with whoever she wants to include myself Definitely do Feed back at sexwellme.com right so I guess we definitely see I mean I guess I would love to hear from from my listeners

Women and men what you think about this too because I just I just wonder if You know who's having a hard time with it because this is clearly a trend This is clearly what's happening in their 20s. You say more so than not. Because we've kind of a split room here that that's what people are doing like they are. Like that's, they're going into it, thinking it's casual beyond a relationship. And you know, a lot of studies are common, you know,

wisdom or knowledge is that women like can't handle it. And they're actually going along with what men want. And so they've kind of socialized and think like, well, none of my friends are wanting in relationships now And I'm just wondering if it's you know, I think I shifted the way back last everyone's gonna have her piece So they I think I think it's really I think it's really healthy because you know, you've got now Used to be the only option was okay if you're gonna sleep with somebody it better be pretty serious

And if you sleep in with them, well then you do you get in a relationship and there's a path that that's gonna Takes into a relationship and marriage and whatever. And I think it's really refreshing that this is at least a viable option that gives people like you say that waiting period, which is so important to really get to know somebody, because you don't know somebody for like a year. You know, if you live with it. You're in half, I think you're absolutely right. So it's at least it's an option, because if you have a series of casual encounters, we

never know which one's going to stick. And one of them might surprise you, and my god, I actually really like this person, and they're really growing on me, you know, and the more I learn about them, the more I like, and the more I'm attracted to them. And I think that's, I think that's the healthiest approach to finding a real solid relationship.

Yeah, so maybe it is a good trend, people should be using more protection, but also, yeah, I think it's, because the other turnip was like our friends, like we were saying, Taron, our small towns, you got married to the first grad, they suffered the second or third. Most of my friends, you got married 25 at like four partners. It's like, you know, I'm having a bowl right? I think four last week. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not having a lot of sex. I'm just going to say that. But no, but I'm saying it's like, that's really it, but that's different thing. So, so yeah,

Rob, you're good, you're loving Rob. Well Well he's living the life of a Jordan I don't even know why I didn't sleep. He's living in a life of a 20 year old. You're kind of rocking it right like you're like you know when you get to be old folks like us yeah you're gonna realize it's too much work and you're gonna find somebody cool. It's true. I admire what you're doing because you are honest but exactly Sunday and it does sound okay I'm sorry. I keep asking questions of Jordan. I'm fascinating So what is what is your quality scale? So your age scale is 18 to 60

What is the quality scale like on a on you know one to 10? Like do we discriminate? I mean are we you know, it's like it's like George Carlin one said I never banged at 10 But one night I fucked five twos I just go at the mod of everyone likes to be taking care of and I don't really you know you might have a So you you find you're not super Opportunity that's the best way You don't have like a type or anything one thing that attracts you? No, no, no. All right.

So literally, you'd bang almost to anyone in here. I'd say yes to. Maybe all of them. We're going to wrap the show so you can do everyone. Justin, what about you? Is there anything you want to plug your website? No, not at this moment. Not at this moment.

No, not at this moment. Anyone else? Anyone else? OK. Justin, Jordan, Tara, Laurie, Manus, you rock. Thank you. Not this moment. Not this moment. Anyone else? Anyone else? Okay. Okay. Justin, Jordan, Tara, Laurie, Menace, Iraq. Thank you. Anything else you want to say?

No. Well, find you on Twitter and Instagram. Just Menace, M-E-N-A-C-E. And so I don't film my timeline with dog photos. My dog has his own Instagram. My dog, Chirro, follow. My dog, Churro, follow. My dog, Churro. Okay, I'm gonna follow it. I'm gonna post all of that. Thank you all so much for being here. Thank you, Madison, for amazing show, for producing.

And also follow us, you guys, because you know, we give some good social media stuff too. So check me out on Instagram and Twitter. It's at Sex with Emily and Facebook.com slash Sex with Emily. Anything else that we got to talk about, Madison? Alright everyone, thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at SexWithEmily.com.