Sex With Emily - Best Of: Caution, Sexy When Wet

Episode Date: June 7, 2018

On today’s throwback show, Emily answers your emails, and addresses some of your most pressing sex and relationship questions. Emily and Anderson talk about how to date with kids, debate some of Redditor's top sex tips, and how to tell your new partner that you're a squirter. Plus, what to do when you're feeling uneasy about your partner's fantasies and how many college kids are "hot" for teacher. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Womanizer, Adam & Eve, Apex Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Today's show we're answering your sex and relationship questions, including how to date online when you have kids, what to do when she comes too quickly and why your partner's fantasies are not a threat to all this and more. Thanks for listening. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bit-roof eyes, they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. Hey girls, gotta ever stand next to mine.

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It's drinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I feel so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good.

You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. Here listening to Sex with the Emily, we're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com and subscribe. We make it so easy there. Subscribe to the newsletter, our social media, subscribe to the podcast. I think there's a subscribe button now, right? Our link of page that says, hey, here's what's happening with us.

It should almost be per scribe because it's almost like a drug. Per scribe, it is like a drug. Per scribe, to sex with Emily. Per scribe to sexual family. Per scribe if you want to fix what else you. Hi, I'm what's up. Hi, it's good to see you, honey. Good to see you, kid. I know how you doing. Now that you're a dad. I'm well, I'm happy to be here. I feel like a little bit awake for the first time all week. Wow. Yeah. That's good. Yeah.

Because this is life. Sex talking about sex hanging with me. Sitting across from you and talking on your shows very, very, it's invigorating. I enjoy it, I look forward to this time of the week every week and here we go. Here we go, I love it. When I came in, I couldn't help but notice that somebody was sitting in my chair and then I realized it wasn't somebody, it was a thing

and it was wrapped and- It's a wrapped gift. What is that? It's for you and your wife and little baby out of kiss. I've been a dad for just over three weeks now and here's the thing about newborns. Tell me about it. Okay, moms, they just love them.

It's instinctual because they've been growing inside of them and from the moment before they even see the baby, she's already in love with this kid. For the dad, it's like learning curve. And I love him, I do anything for him. But if we lived in some kind of parallel universe where they started this toddler's and became newborns,

I would not be looking forward to this phase. Right, no I get it. You know what I mean? Can't talk, can't really even smile. All he does is peas and incurrence. It's not a connect, how do you get right? But I, you know, I've had those moments and I absolutely love him

and there's nothing better. Like when I'm actually stressed, I go and I cuddle with him for like about 20, 30 minutes and he's a really good baby. He only cries when there's something actually going on. But newborns, it's not my jam. No, no dude, I get it. I'm looking forward to opening this gift.

Open it. Open it. This is wrapping paper. It's like the shower curtain. Dude, it's special wrapping paper. Did you know? Yeah, I got it in your Amazon. You told me you registered. We registered for this.

Yeah. Okay, because it's elephants and the wife is all about elephants I know well I rather mind actually This is like one of the things under registry and it's like a crib thing This is so nice him. This is so nice. Yeah, it's elephants and it's for the crib so every time perfectly with that That that that nursery that I spent six months in my life on exactly right should take a picture of you opening the elephants Everyone check out our Instagram.

It's gonna be fascinating. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, it's okay. And you're so freaking supportive. Thank you so much. I'm gonna love you. The baby needs sheets, isn't that what it is? It was a crib thing.

Or I kept trying to split to be honest. We couldn't figure out what it was called. What is it called? I think it's like a bumper. Bumper! Yeah. Bumper for the crib. Put that up in the fridge.

Okay, so anyway, happy baby. Yeah, you're so welcome. But I hear what you're saying, and I think it's probably helpful for a lot of men and women like, to learn to thing having a kid. Like, you're not right away. No, no, no, there's no, like, how-to book. Actually, there are a lot of how-to books,

but I purposely kind of avoided them because I didn't want to go in, feeling like I knew everything. I figure people have been doing this for e-lens. Without books. Literally billions of people have done this before me and my wife and I want to think it was really fun though going through all the milestones

are gonna be coming over the next like 12 months. It's like, oh, this is like a week, month two is when he starts to actually use like a pincher grass bean and when he starts to smile for real. There's a lot of really fun stuff coming up. If you didn't read about it. Well, I was reading the milestones. Just I looked at the chart.

No, right, that's easy. Just quick, quick, quick. And then, and month three, if he doesn't smile, you'll be like, God damn it. Yeah, they have like charts, like he'll be falling behind if he's not doing this and it's like, I'm not gonna do that. Because I'm my wife's way smarter than I am

and she didn't talk until she's like three or something, she was like, maybe, and she didn't crawl or walk. Everyone goes to their own pace. Absolutely. That's good. Well, congratulations,, and she didn't crawl or walk. Everyone goes to their own pace. Absolutely, that's good. Well, congratulations, I can't wait to meet the baby. And I'm sorry if you're disappointed, that wasn't like a really large sex.

No, I love it. It's actually a little bit easier. Oh yeah, I was afraid that it was a blow up toy or something for the baby, that being on a decision on your part. I want to put a pass, you know. And also before we move on, let me just say thank you to you and to Madison and your entire team and Eddie.

And all the listeners who helped out make the campaign so Fear movie successful. Yeah, we got Whenever they said and done we got eighty five thousand dollars and I asked for seventy five thousand So it was hugely successful and now I have to make a really first feature inappropriate feature film that will embarrass my son can't wait That is great So you got to do hold on from his dad will be very proud of you you give birth to a film and a child and it's all that sexuality and homosexuality and identity yeah I almost read the script group mentality so

yeah it's it's gonna be right I think it's made it and that that should feel I hope that you take that in and you feel really that that's a big accomplishment I'm very proud of you so Anderson was doing a crowdfunding campaign and as I've been blathering on about on the show for weeks now but it's not big accomplishment. I'm very proud of you. So Anderson was doing a crowdfunding campaign and I've been blathering on about on the show for weeks now You know, and I just think that it also testament to the fact that We sat for we taught I've known you for four five years now. You've been the most supportive Non-family member during this entire time way more supportive than the other people that I will not name that I've worked with in the past They won't know they are they will never but but interesting, because it's so easy to support you.

And also, this is a, I mean, if you don't mind me sharing, that like probably year and a half ago, we used to sit and talk before the love line show. It's about stuff in life. And now we always get there early. Right, we get there early and we'd sit and talk and we do the show, this show there before love line, and we were talking, you're like, I don't know.

That's secret, no one was supposed to know. You're like, you know, I don't know if I can do it, I don't know if I can do it. I'm like, one step at a time. I can't get it in terms. I never said I didn't know if I could do it. No, but you were like, I just don't know. I was just down on myself because I was on the side.

I'm always behind, yeah, behind. Right, and then you just started doing it. And you just started and you got things in place and it all happened. And I think you were like, yeah, you're beating yourself up and now it happened. Now you probably might be. I'm the leader of my cheerleader and you're great.

And I really, really appreciate that. I'm gonna be more of that in the future. So I'm gonna lean on you as I'm actually making this thing too. Don't keep up in your James Smith point. Yeah. You have something you want to do. You're probably in your own way. We're all getting our own ways,

but sometimes you need someone to help you get out of your way. I just know that I don't want to die with any regrets or any big regrets. You know what I mean? Like I still regret not kissing that girl named Nikki and ninth grade, I should have kissed her and I didn't want to die and I've never made enough movie or trying to have a kid. Exactly. You did both in like a month. Yeah. That's amazing. We make it. I think it's a good point. I don't I don't

have regrets. I always I think that regrets are a waste of time. What you can do is look at situations say you know what? This is what I learned from that time in my life. I was I didn't have the tools yet to kiss her and have the confidence to kiss the girl or to take that job or to take that risk. But I learned that next, you know, that time's, the next time it happens, I want to. And this is why I used to learn things. Don't hang on to the regret. If it's a little bit of growth, like all bad things that happen to you, hopefully you can

use them as positives down the road. Except a lot of bad things happen to me, but I'm still trucking them. Every bad thing you get through, and I think the more bad things happen to you in a way, you're even stronger, we learn from all of that. That must be a very strong man. Mr. Universe over here. Oh, dear, you're doing great.

Okay, everyone, so back to this, there's just so much, I feel like I'm gonna continue. Well, in a minute, but first I wanna talk about how much I love Loub, because. You're sucking on someone now, okay? No, this is my head spray. Okay. I'm amazed because our loob surveys about to end because the people at Joe who make loob,

we love them. They asked me what my dream loob would be. So we started a loob survey because I said, well, I'll make a dream loob, but I want to talk to my listeners and see what kind of loob they want. So anyway, we put up a survey and we've had like over a thousand responses. So we've extended it like another week or so. Go to sexwithm.ly.com slash dream loop, take a very short survey, and think about five minutes. And there's also some questions on there that have been really helpful about the show. Like what people like, they

don't like stuff like that. But again, it's five minutes. We appreciate it. I love that. Thank you for doing that. And yeah, we do now we have some sex in the news. Sex in the news? Okay, more than one in 10 college students have slept with a professor. I just found this interesting because I didn't know anybody. Maybe everyone was sleeping with professors, but they didn't admit it in college. I would never have looked at a professor and thought that's someone who's even attractive or an option or anything like that.

Because maybe I was very innocent. I'm with you. I've never been attracted to any of professors. I know that's a lot of people's fantasies, but not, and I never had friends that slept with the professor. Something maybe this sample came from one college and there was one professor over there

that was paying an everybody. I don't think so. Okay, the numbers you had the survey from the folks at college stats.org who must know something. Wouldn't surprise anybody. It says they don't think the numbers you had in the survey from the folks at college stats.org who must know something, which surprised anybody, it says they don't think the numbers would. Everyone is a friend and their friend circle hooked up with a professor or TA,

which I do not. During their four-year undergrad experience, hell, maybe it was even you. It might be unethical for the folks demonstration, but everyone knows chemistry happens, you put a bunch of horny, 20 somethings together for the sake of higher education, and here's what happens. So, over half of us admit to fantasizing about a professor. 52 percent. One in four would activate you, they would get caught. So, chances are at least one

of your lecture makes got dirty with the professor or TA-3 in 20 students of end of fair. And one in five of the affairs was the teacher of the sciences what I don't know what that means why would you get the sciences because it's so boring maybe maybe and maybe they They somehow feel maybe it's biology okay, I was a little biologist. I have no idea science teachers aren't hot I'm thinking about all of my science teachers none of them are hot. Yeah, but you might find their minds really sexy And I don't think you can't say science teachers are all all in that hot. That's not about osmosis. No, that's not hot.

I mean, it's true. It's true. I might sleep with them to get a, no, to get a better grade. I would never do that. Oh, and you just admitted some maybe being a whore. I wish I was a whore. I think I'd have better stories.

I was never a whore. Never too late. Where that means, even. How would you even define a whore? Yeah, you're getting paid a favor for sex. And people assume that I am. You might as well already, you might as well hit that means, even. How would you even define a word? You're getting paid a favor for sex. People assume that I am. You might as well already hit that. Tap that.

Tap it. You're offering your services. No, I'm just saying I was never a whore, but people assume it, so I might as well. Right. I'm not even interested right now. It's a longer story. Okay. So let's move on to, I have another one. To you? Sex on news? Yeah. Don't you

don't ask me, you know, I love the sex on news. 18 things everyone should know about sex according to Reddit. So we were talking before the show. Yes. You mad at some producer mad at some think everyone knows what Reddit is. Reddit is very important. I'm not sure that everyone, everyone. Well, you have so many listeners. I'm sure there's a couple out there that aren't familiar with Reddit, but Reddit is massive. It is massive, but I feel like it is the sort of underground, like, underbelly.

One of the reasons why it's trusted by the millennials is because it's not like owned by any kind of giant corporation. Even though it has been sold, I think it did sell about a year and a half ago. I could be wrong. I don't know anything internet. I tried to just only watch movies.

That's how I live. You know anything internet, right? Try not to go on the internet at all. Do you watch a movie a night? I know, even before maybe. Do I watch a night? How many movies do you watch a night or a week? I try and I have to watch at least five for my shows.

And you always have consistently. Yes, yes. It's a lot of movies. So I went today, right before I came here. That's amazing. Moonlight. Moonlight, yeah, it's a movie about homosexuality in the inner cities. It's tough one.

Yeah, it's tough one, especially now. But a black dude living the gay life in the urban modern day city is a sad, sad guy. So little love. Yeah, that's not right. It'll probably make some noise at the award season. Moonlight. Moonlight.

All right. So once again, OK, when it comes to sex, well, this is about Reddit, because I do get the Reddit boards, but you go down this thing and you're like, half the people are like, I don't agree with you. Like, I get it's a place where people can spread. It's like basically a,

that's more. It's a sounding board, yeah. And you can curate it. So you can only see the stuff that you want to see, like that you're interested in, and you can see the people's opinions about it. But according to these red people, that there was an ask reddit thread

about what everyone should know about sex. And they thought that many of the responses were so dead on accurate. And I don't know who picked on reddit because the authority that said these were pretty accurate. Maybe it was the ones that came up as many times, so many times repeatedly. Right.

So I'm gonna say that I agree with you. So once as always P after always, I agree. Because I think it's a good refresher for everyone too, because I'm just gonna read the ones that I told you're good with. You should always P after sex, men and women. P, get that bacteria out, something got in there, get it out. And give yourself an excuse to go to the bathroom

and high five yourself for a job well done. Exactly. There can be weird and awkward bodily yourself for a job well done. Exactly. There can be weird and awkward bodily noises just laugh it off or ignore it. So true. We get asked a lot like what happens if I cleave? What if I fur? What do I do? Keep going.

Laugh or don't laugh. Just keep going. If you're having sex, no one cares. And I think when you're younger and starting out you worry about all these things, but sex is messy and loud and noisy and beautiful. Right. It's fine. Before asked before you stick a finger on your dude's butt. Or hers?

Yep, or hers butt. It's funny, because we do these on Instagram, if you don't follow us on Instagram, which is weird to me, you should. But we do these five biggest mistakes you're making in bad videos. I think we have the fifth one left to still post. But the last one was by anal sex,

and my friend called me, or someone in my somatic class had to be, well, I learned now, like I can't just stick a finger in the butt and I'm like, why is she, I learned that in your video. She actually learned, she didn't know, I just thought, she was always sticking figures in guys' butts randomly, is it a little surprise?

Please point her out next time we're at a desk. In the same room, I don't wanna shake her hand. Got it, she seemed pretty clean. Point her out. So a towel nearby or in use is never ever a bad idea. I agree, so this goes back to Have a towel like afterwards if you come on her like if you Whatever I think it's really nice for guys to like clean it off. Go to back. We've talked about this

This is why I don't use those motel a little hand the washgloss I never touch them because I just imagine that they're covered in semen dude everything in hotel was covered in semen No, don't say that I'm about to live in one for a week Especially that one. Oh, I never touch them because I just imagine that they're covered in semen. Dude, everything in hotel room is covered in semen. No, don't say that. I'm about to live in one for a week. Especially that one. Oh, I am. Don't touch the remote. Don't touch the remote. Oh, dude.

Yes. Don't touch the remote. Well, how am I supposed to get the TV on? You should bring like what wipes or something. Yeah, I'm only wearing a wipe. Would you probably have a wipe now with the baby now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wipe, scalore.

You're right. Don't touch anything in there. I almost feel, oh, I don't know what to talk about. It makes me really grossed out. So, um, I, sculler. You're right, don't touch anything in there. I almost, I don't know what time it makes me really grossed out. So, um, I'm tall. Hold on. I'm just gonna say, the one thing that doesn't get cleaned in the hotels, they're most,

they have to clean everything else. Motel six is where I like to go and I don't think much gets cleaned over there. Now I'm really good, now I can't even go on. But I'm just saying a towel by your bed, whatever you're going to, there's going to be some mess and just wipe it up, especially if you like don't make hurry.

Although she used to get up in pee. No matter how many times you are, you're always like the towel or the shirt. It's always just out of arms reach. You gotta do that awkward thing where you're scrambling in the room to try and find some of the mop up. Yeah, you know it's gonna have to keep it

in your bedside store, keep a little towel. Okay, it's true what they say about size. It really doesn't matter unless you have pathologically small one. However, that doesn't mean there are no expectations laid upon you. How hard you can give it to her and how long does matter. Plenty of fact.

I still, I like the first part of this. I don't even know what pathologically small means. It is really true that size does not. I'm telling you, like, just like the size of my breasts, guys would be with me because my breasts are not large enough. Size of your penis, we have preferences. You can't tell with a pen, though. You can tell with a breast.

Right, well, the public. Yeah, but I can be wearing. You should see the last week I was wearing big, big, big, pain though you can tell with the breast Right, well public Yeah, but I could be wearing you should see last week. I was wearing big padded up people I was wearing a bra and I had it was a push up and it was thing and people it was nice Boop a nice cleavage party thing going on something going on and you would think so I could be lying It could be a optical illusion that I but I'm just saying you guys don't trip on your size Cut your fingernails. this is a great one. Yeah. You got two,

I love. Cause for guys and women. Updated girls who say that they, the first thing they do is they look at a guy's hands. Yeah, it's true. This is gonna be one of those things that you were like, I heard this in Sex of Them, it is true.

Guys, like cut your fingernails, wash them like in a shower, like take one of those, even like those buff things and like get dirt out. The dirt out. Because guys, you do look at that and I wonder too, I hear you when you go to the bathroom and you come out and you don't wash your hands and then you want to start fooling around. Like there's bacteria. But the fingernail thing is good, important too for guys because you can like rip her.

Like if you go inside and your fingernails are not even sturdy, you could snagger and you could like rip. I was on a date with a girl once and she said, look at your fingernails are not even sturdier. You could snag her and you could rip. I was on a date with a girl once and she said, look at your fingernails. All I can think of when I see that is if you finger bang me it would hurt. And that was our last date and I did not finger bang. Right, well good, but now,

but did you go do have you quite your nails? I think about that all the time or like I did at least before I was locked up whereas I was like I wanna make sure my hands don't look painful. You don't want those fingers to be painful. No, it's true. That would be a total, I agree, that's a good one. You just, let's see what else.

It's okay for guys to make noise and that girls dig it. So true, I wanna give every guy permission to make noise. I think that guys don't realize that they're not making noise. And maybe guys were present because they think that they don't know what noise to make and it sounds weird.

Or I think a lot of times, guys were just trained for masturbation to be quiet because that's what the fatesome was going to hear them. Years of experience under the parents roof. Right. Well, because we're not telling you what noise to make, but your body naturally wants to make a noise. And I love this one. It's nothing like porn.

It doesn't have your expectations of sex be like it's going to be just like porn. Unfortunately, a lot of these guys I think nowadays are making it just like porn because that's only 16 they know by the time they're actually having sex themselves. They're trying to make it like porn and understanding why it doesn't work. I'm defending your face now honey. I know. I'm trying to change that. That means we're your last babies so that's kind of good for the population.

What if they're coming out of one's face? Yeah, it's like they're pregnant when it's on your face. You don't know. You don't know honey, it's not safe. It is true, it's nothing like porn, nothing like porn for titillation, but not for your, that's why we exist to help people, titillate. Okay, so I think those were some of the highlights. Yes, read it.

Emily, look at Emily, all hip on the Reddit, love it. I'm not not hip on Reddit, I just'm not. Hey, you know Snapchat, Snapchat is the most confusing thing I've ever looked at. Everyone says that, and I don't know how I figured it out I'm not not hip on, Radit. I just'm not. Hey, you know Snapchat. Snapchat is the most confusing thing I've ever looked at. Everyone says that, and I don't know how I figured it out, but I did, and I love my steps. You kill it. Thank you, honey.

From what I've heard, I can't figure it out. I know, I don't know. One day, I literally got locked in my house, and I had 10 minutes, and I just sat there, and I stared at it and figured it out. And then I googled stuff, here's the thing about Snapchat. I googled, what does it mean to do to do? Yeah, or you can YouTube, and then it's 12 year olds. Okay, today we're going to be looking at mean to do to do yeah, or you can YouTube and then it's 12 year old say okay today

We're going to be looking at how to do this on snapchat You take like seven minutes to get to it. Oh, I hate those video You know talking about it. You do video for every day. Yeah for everything There's always like a 12 year old who knows everything about the computer or the program that I'm trying to figure out and it takes forever for them to get to it That's not me. Please like my page and subscribe and it takes forever for them to get to it. That's not maybe. Please like my page and subscribe. That's my navi that you want to go to.

OK, we can move on to emails. But first, you know what we're going to do? We're going to give a shout out to our awesome sponsors because we love you and thanks everyone for supporting our sponsors and for listening to the show. And we'll be right back. MUSIC Hi, we're back. Anderson said, can I sit there and I said, yeah, I think so. And then it turns out you can't because it says Mike one and everyone.

Wow, it's so funny. All the shows that I do, like that comes up on pretty much every single one of them. Like I'm in the number one spot. You're in the number two. It just comes up. It's such a psychological little thing. No, that's not why they told me I had to. You're kidding. It's Mike specifically for Emily. Like all the volumes and the equal equilibrium and everything. Equalizer. The EQ. Yes. Yes. I go. Equilibrium. Equalizer. How it moves. Good enough, producer Madison knows which is a terminal. It's not sound engineer Madison. I would like to point out. Yeah, but you're killing down the sound dude. You're freaking killing it.

No, the other shows that I do work on though, they're always there especially with Paul Bryan, like he always demands and I switch it when he's not looking. So I'm in the number one Jack and then he gets all like a upset. It's pretty great. That's pretty awesome. I'm on mic number four, which makes me feel very

relaxed. But you always feel good anyway. So it's pretty natural though. Okay, emails. Yeah. Let's get onto that. Okay, emails. Yeah. Let's get onto that people. I keep doing this thing with my computer where it dooms in.

Oh, that's the double tap. The double tap. You know, I fix that, turn the computer on and off. No, I just shut the document. The other day, I cannot get the entire thing with double tap, so I just turn it on and off. And I have a tech guy who says that he makes 90% of his... I'm turning off for no one thing.

Yeah, 90% of his job is just going into people's offices and turning the computer on and off. He's a 90% of what he gets paid for is rebooting people's computers. I can do that if things don't work out. I know. It's another 10% though, that's where he makes the big bucks. Okay, so I have a question that you want me to answer

on the show, I love that and now it's so easy to submit your questions, go to sexwithemily.com, click on the Ask Emily tab, fill out the form, hit submit, that's it. You can also leave me a voicemail. And that's eight, when eight asks SWE1 and our eight, when eight, two, seven, five, seven, nine, three, one.

And then there's also the, oh, how about the thing on the form where they can be checked, click the box for being called. Not to be called, like I would like to be called by Emily. Yeah, so here about the thing on the form where they can be checked, click the box for being called? It's hard to be called. I would like to be called by Amazon. Yeah, because here's the thing. We want you to leave voicemails. If you wanted to leave a voicemail, it's kind of fun.

We've been peppering them in. Also, now we want, we're having calls. So we've done a few shows now where you can click the box and you submit your question that yes, I would like to be considered for a phone call. And then Eddie will reach out to you and say, hey, can we set up a time to call? So click that box if you're interested in being after you submit your question on the website Does that make sense? Yes, and Emily's not selling your information to her. No, no, never never. I promise I'm not saying that

I'm not about we just want to I just think it's fun to talk to people Absolutely. It's fun. It's fun. Don't get me wrong But we can really get go deep and get there and I can answer like because I'm listening going wait I don't know how old you are. I don't know what happened in the today before I have no idea how many emails that I've covered with you on the show I'm but I've never done one where I didn't have at least one question for the emailer But they're not there so you can't ask it and you were great in the last calling show We just did together like it was our first or second line despite my mic for status here. I'm always great You are always great

Okay status here. I'm always great. You are always great. Okay, um, here we go. Emily, I love your podcast. I have an interesting question that I'm hoping you can help with. I've just recently started to attempt online dating using okay, Cupid. It's going pretty well, but I want to show the keeps popping up. I have a child. And while I don't talk nonstop about her in my bio or during conversations, she does come up multiple times on my page. It's obvious that I do have a kid, but I keep getting guys who message me that have don't want kids in their bio. I'm not sure if they're not reading my page or if they don't care and want to try anyways,

do I bring it up or just roll with things. I don't want to be like, hey, I got a kid right after that because maybe they know that and are just trying anyways. Also, should I now reply to guys who don't want kids? I feel like there's an obvious answer, but I'm so confused. Thanks for any help. Check this though. I know your face Anderson is going, what? Brittany, 19 years old Illinois. So she's 19. And so that makes it is why your age is so important. I don't know how old the kid is, but we don't know, like we'll never know if these guys

are reading your bios or they just don't mind is the truth. And we could assume that's either not a big deal or maybe they overlooked it. But if you're messaging, messaging by a guy who seems interested in, you know, getting to know you and you want to get him, you could just like start a conversation with them and say, hey, so yeah, that sounds fun, but I noticed in your bio, you said you don't want kids. I have a kid you could just get it out of the way You could also um talk to them on the phone first because I think I know that 19 people aren't on the phone But I think if you've met or someone before you go on a date with them. Yeah, I do I don't think that the younger people are gonna think that like 19 year old Brittany

I don't think she's going to be down with the phone calls because she's younger. But it would really come in handy, Brittany, because you could be like talking to like, say Joe Schmo and then like say, yeah, so anyway, as I'm glad that you like my friend. Hey, would you be quiet? Yeah, I'm like your kid off the phone. Oh, sorry, that's my daughter. Yeah, sorry, my daughter's putting her diaper on her head again. Sorry.

That's actually not a bad idea. Working in a conversation. But I think you're overthinking. I mean, you obviously understand why, but you could just take the guesswork out of it. Just get to the bottom of it. I bet you a lot of guys are saying, I don't want kids now.

Right. Especially in your age bracket. Yeah, because you're 19. Maybe if they don't want kids, perfect. They like kids and you have one, then they have to have one of the right. They might be like, I don't want to be a dad right now. Right.

And I don't know what you're looking for, Brittany. So again, I think I get that it's also at 19, not as many women on the dating sites might ever kid. But that's also I think, you know, when you sit in the out, you'll find the guy that's like, wow, that's awesome that you're a mom. And I'm cool with that because I love you and they'll fall in love with your kid. Maybe. These are probably 22, 23 year old screw balls.

She should put it, I sound like she's already put it in her bio and she should put it like towards the top of the bio. So if a guy doesn't know about it, it's his own fault for just looking at a picture and being a pick, you know what I mean? So that if it turns out to be an issue later, she can say, hey, it's right there in the front of my bio that I'm a single mom.

Right. And also, a little preachy, just be careful, Brittany, you don't have another kid with somebody else now. Okay. Right, we're con. Let's be careful. 19 is young. 19-ton, it is young.

And finally, do not be introducing your kid to any of these people or dating. No, do not. This person, whoever you introduce your kid to, I don't know how old your kid is, I'm assuming very young, but once the kid is old enough to understand what's going on, make sure that this is a real solid person in your life

because that's how you mess kids up. Really mess them up with like guys coming and going. Once the kid is old enough to understand what's going on, make sure that this is a real solid person in your life because- That's how you mess kids up. Really mess them up with like guys coming and going. What you're entitled to do, you're young and you gotta live your life. You gotta play the field and figure out who's right for you, but don't be introducing your young child to that. So there's a part of it that, yeah, exactly. Don't interest the kid.

Also don't go back and forth. You could also take the other approach and not even talk to these guys, but like the ones who didn't read my profile and they say they don't want kids, let's just assume it's not your guy, because he didn't read and he doesn't want kids in the profile. But I mean, casual dating, you don't know what it's gonna lead to

and just because I can see a lot of 2223 year old guys saying they don't want kids, but they'd be willing to go out on a date with a girl who has one. Yeah, it could be good practice. Okay, so, you know, I say just go with your eyes open. And also I know that you're getting online, which I love. But it's also great to let your friends know you want to date

and just put yourself out there. And good luck to you. But I get it's confusing. We had a girl that hung out in our circle of friends and she used to date around a lot of us. And she had a kid. And her nickname was baggage. And people would actually call her baggage to her face.

She went with it. She thought it was kind of funny. But say, hey, if you see baggage here, it was like that. Yeah, maybe her baggage to her face. She went with it. She thought it was kind of funny But say, hey, if you see back, it's pretty good like that. Yeah, yeah, maybe that could be her nickname Actually, people get how you get a baggage Brittany Maybe you can make that your name on your profile Right there in your face. Oh, did you say that? I just said that but you don't listen to me. I don't I saw you making Basis of Madison. I get scared You guys edit me sometimes when I say bad things. No, no, that's because we're calling her baggage, but I think I think she sounds super

kind of her confusion is just like which guy do I do? Yeah, so I open. Yeah, how do I figure it out? Okay, 52-year-old straight married male from Colorado who lives, who listens via the overcast podcast app. I love what he did here, because I always ask all name age where you live. How you listen? He just nailed it. I have an issue I have yet to hear on your show.

My wife of 19 years comes too quickly. Yes, she actually orgasms and isn't faking. It takes very little for her to reach climax. And once she does, she is done. Me, in the other hand, takes a very long time. Obviously this proves to be a problem as she comes first and is done. She isn't too much into foreplay as she ends up coming early, so everything I have been taught falls apart completely.

She doesn't like giving oral, she will sometimes, but never to completion. Because she comes so quickly, she is always in a rush to get me to finish. Once she's done, she gets starts questioning me if I'm done. Major turn off. Is there anything you can suggest to make her last longer and be more into it? Thanks, Dennis 52, Colorado. He's right, we don't get this allowed.

We often hear from women who are like, he comes too quickly, like there's this orgasm gap, like we always talk about and what do you do about this? And they put they've been together 19 years. I'm gonna be quiet on this one and just let you go at it, and I'm gonna keep you honest though. So go ahead.

Let's see what you have to say about this issue. I'm not feeling pressure. Why do you keep, do you think I'm reversed it? Cause it's a man and I'm not. I'm gonna say these, I don't want, I don't want, yeah. If this was reversed, how,

you know, like, shit. But that's what I said, what did you mean, give me this guy? If the guy was like, already done yet, and you don't, your wife's a bitch, I can't believe she doesn't care. You know, we do want that if mean, give me this guy. If the guy was like, all right, you done yet? You're wife's a bitch. I can't believe she was a guy. I do not, I've never said anything negative about my family.

You know, imagine a guy who finishes real fast and then starts to try and get his girlfriend or wife to finish and he's like, are you finished? Are you done yet? Looking at his wife. Yeah, I haven't done time. You would give that guy shit. I wouldn't give him shit. I would just say, I never say,, or I don't yell at anyone.

You don't yell at anyone. Meta says it too, he's like, you've done this before, he's like, you were totally dead of that. I just say, because it's so hot. Well, we call people douche bags. You and I agree that people are douche bags when we get, you know.

I don't love to label people. I feel like we all have good and bad in us. I cannot judge. I really try not to judge. I'm not judge, let's just talk about this, okay? We don't talk a lot because it doesn't come up. And what I love too is, just because we don't get emails over this, I'm sure there are other men in his situation

who for sure have this experience. The cold Richie is one of these. What? Yeah, the cold Richie, she was on Loveline talking about how she comes really fast all the time. She says she sits on the cold floor in the bathroom and she comes, she's just constantly coming quick. Tweeted. Really? Yeah, there are some women that are like, on the cold floor in the bathroom and she comes. She's just constantly coming quick, it's weird.

Really? Yeah, there are some women that are like, there are definitely some women. And I feel like, okay, so when this situation is reversed as it often is, I always make it clear that the man needs to be sensitive to his partner's needs and to slow down, make sure that she's taking care of and I'm gonna say the same exact thing here

that I understand that you guys are in your routine after being together for so long. But things got to change here because you, I love that she can come so quickly, that's awesome. But she can also, you guys can slow this down with, you know, for play and let her know, first of all, first of all, conversation. Have you talked about this?

You've to let her know, not just like, you need to slow down or I need a blow job, but like, how does it make you feel that she's kind of disregarding your pleasure? Like, it probably doesn't feel very good. You're probably feeling like neglected and not very sad, clearly you're not satisfied. And just let her know that like,

it's something that's like really important to you and that you both gotta be getting your needs met. The only thing that really is a trigger here, though, is her saying, are you done yet? And her being impatient. Otherwise, she's doing the lower to work, right? She's actually taking care of them after she's finished. She's not, though.

She's not. She sometimes gives them blow drops sometimes. She does it. I thought most, most of the time she does. No, most. Okay, what, what she does, she's like looking at her watch. Yeah, exactly. She's like, I'm done, I'm done. And now maybe you guys have beer, busy, you got kids, once she does, she's like looking at her watch. Yeah, exactly. She's like, I'm done, I'm done.

And now maybe you guys have beer, busy, you got kids, I get it, there's a lot that goes on and you get into these routines, but she could probably learn to have multiple orgasms, first of all. She has one and she's done. I think that she's missing out on a lifetime of like having multiples, like,

never too early to start, never too late to start learning to have orgasms. And like, here's the thing about sex. She could also like have, you could start with four play, fooling around, and then she could, you know, she could have orgasm, then she could start pleasing you. You could, you know, if you need to like bring in like a flashlight, you guys, her sister, her spring in her sister, you know, have a threesome. You know, she can take a break and like,

out of the form. Kind of kidding. No, but I'm saying like, there were a fractory period for women to have like multiple orgasms. Like if she quickly orgasms, she might not have tried it. Like a lot of women just think they're done.

And she could truly like be going down on you, but then also like using a vibrator, using her fingers, and I bet she can get back on top of you and have an orgasm again. So I think this can kind of be a fun way for you guys to like relearn how you're having sex. And so I just think that, you know,

she does like blow jobs, I'm not sure what that's about. She doesn't want to finish you. So bringing some porn into the situation, like I don't think that you have to live like this any longer, I don't like that they're having sex and he's not having his climax. I can see this is frustrated after 19 years. That just makes me feel like this is going to be some work though because they're setting their routine. Yeah, 19 years. You got to mix it up. Try taking her out to a hotel to start the new mix up. Usually a new environment would be a good place to start. It's a new routine and

then you can maybe bring it back to the house. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Also, there's a lot of chance that like she has one after 10 minutes and then it takes him 45 minutes. He's not being specific here. Yeah. If he's on the phone, we're going to ask that. Maybe he is a delayed ejaculator and that he doesn't even realize that he's been with us so long. Well, that's that's exact. Thank you Anderson Anderson That's exactly what I was saying there are some no Here's thing I've been with delayed ejaculators or as Drew always has like retarded retarded exactly We try to cut that out, but that's actually what it's called mentally speaking But there are some guys who literally take some an hour hour and a half or they just can't

Or guys But not No, that's not true. I've been with one of these guys before and it takes forever and it was frustrating. I was like, I'm really good at, like I gotta say, I know how to give a good advantage. And you ladies always blame yourselves. No, I know how to know. I knew well, I knew enough to know,

but I'm wondering if that's your situation as well, in which case you might not even know Daniel because you have been with her for so long, but if you do take an hour, which is fine, we're never gonna, you know, women take 45 minutes an hour sometimes, it's just that we got to look at all the whole situation here. And you guys just got to find and do dance together. That's all it is. And make sure that, you know, she's on the page of this and realizing that she might not know how

you're feeling, how much is this? Yeah, have a listen to this. You can start. Have a listen to this. Have a good time together. Grow your sex life. Actually, you need to anyway. You need to be expanding it. Okay, I do. We all do. You're going to, I can't wait to start talking about your sex life. Actually, you need to do anyway. You need to be expanding it. Okay, I do. We all do. You're going to, I can't wait to start talking about your sex life when you guys start.

I'm assuming you have a sex life yet. It's been a dark spot. Yeah. It's been a dark spot. Do you need some loop? Okay, hi, Emily. My question is how to tell if you should let a new partner know that you are, as many people call it, a squirter.

Some backstory. I met a man while traveling. We've been talking a while, and since now he's coming to visit. When we initially met, we did not share any sexual interactions, aside from a hug and a kiss on the cheek, when we left each other. I know that when I have sex, I produce a lot of female ejaculate, and in previous, if previous measures are not taken, the bed isn't suitable to sleep in afterwards. I want to give them a heads up, but I don't really know how to approach this. Also, I don't want them to be disappointed

if for some reason I don't squirt the first time with him because on occasion doesn't happen though it mostly does. I have one partner, I have one other friend who has this issue many times and she always struggles with telling new partners. So tell, how to tell, when to tell, let it be a surprise, let me know with love, sage.

Sage, good name, sage. I love it. I think that you don't need to make a big deal about it before at all. If it happens, he'll be totally psyched. But you don't want to tell him too early because I can be like, I squirt and set up this whole thing. And then squirt.

But if you have a sense of humor about it, and he does too, you've never seen Dexter. Dexter, like he has that, he'd set up this whole thing in front of him. And Squirt. But if you have a sense of humor about it, and he does too, you've ever seen Dexter. Dexter, the key is that he'd set up kill rooms every episode. And he would kill his victim in there, and he would line everything with Sullivan. And that'd be kind of a funny way to let him know, and you know, you'd line the entire bedroom in Sullivan, and you'd walk him in there.

And he's like, what's going on? And you just look at him and go, I'm a squirt around. So that's it. Ha ha ha ha ha. That'd be a fun way. That would be a fun way. Yeah, she'd always remember it. Right, exactly.

Celephone, does he really like it? I'd be really excited if I walked in with a girl. And I'm like, why are you gonna kill me? You're gonna murder me right now? Exactly, nope, just get a squirt all over me. Just get a squirt. Exactly. That's actually not a bad set up idea.

Celephone, although that wouldn't totally work. And you could also suffocate yourself with this. But I guess so. I think you should just, when you guys start filling around, I don't know where you're going to be at your house or you're going to be in hotel, if you want to like make sure that your sheets are fine, just pull out like a blanket. I mean, an extra blanket or towels and be like, hey, sometimes it gets really like messy. Sometimes it gets really wet in here.

And you just throw it down, see what happens. And let's take once. Do they have Terry cloth sheets? Yes. So if you want to safeguard your sheets, liberator actually makes a safe blanket for that. It's called the liberator, fascinating, throw moisture resistant sex blanket. I'm assuming they probably have it at good vibrations. You could use code Mlingue discount there. We don't have it on our site yet. We do have a lot of sex toys on our site though.

I know that. So it's a throw blanket that is Absorbs fluids, no more wet spots. So that's a cool thing. You could also just use your beach towels or throw some towels down and just have them by the bed like we said. Yeah. Oh, we've ever towel by the bed.

Yeah, we've ever towel by the bed. Sometimes you need a little bit, a bigger towel by the bed if you're a squirter. But I agree. Like, I've gotten wet before and that's capacity and. Have you? Really? Talk about it.

I'm just got a little bit bashful when she was telling me that. I never see you bashful. I swear. You were looking the other way. I can't talk to you if I want to. A lot of you guys did. I'm realizing that hotels back to the hotel life, they would have squirting rooms and non-squirting rooms

probably, right? Like if there was more of you guys in the population, they probably would. Because they have like smoking rooms, non-smoking rooms. They'd be like, well, they didn't even have that anymore. Animal rooms. Yeah. Squirting rooms. Yeah, squirting rooms. Yeah maybe like what they didn't have anymore animal rooms yeah, you scored or not score

yeah, scored right, right, right, right, exactly can you imagine the like let's go back to I don't really want to go back to the dirtyness hotel rooms but if you like get so mattress, they're not gonna like change the back, the flip it oh my god, because they're doing what the reason why this keeps coming up is they're doing work on the house that my wife and I rent because there's a massive League in the in the bathroom and work there's contractors in there for three full weeks with the newborn

We have a newborn a cat and three dogs and we're nomadic right now, so we're staying at motels hotels in laws It's brutal. That is brutal and now I'm not gonna be asleep tonight. Exactly. I can't even sleep thinking about you there tonight But um, yeah, babe're good, you're good. You tell your friend to just don't overthink it. Just make sure there's a towel there, throw it down. The next time. There's a beach towel, a big towel. That's not what happens.

And he's gonna be psyched that you squirt. But I wouldn't be like listen, we need to talk, I'm a squirter. Most of these things that people are emailing about like are not major, even can I go back to Daniel for a second? This with the wife, Daniel and Colorado. I feel like this is a big competition

like these 19 years, we need to talk, I'm really upset just be like, babe, you know what happens with us with the coming and then you come and then I don't. Let's just have some fun and figure out a way that we can both come, make it tone, all that, very important. And with Sage, just like when it starts to happen, you know what, I don't think you want to have a precursor

like over dinner, by the way, if we bang later tonight, this might happen. Like when it starts going down, you know whisper in his ear like it Sometimes I get a little messy and grab like a towel or sometimes I and he'll be stoked You know who probably be all that more engaged at right after you say a whisper that is it? I just got even more engaged. I think that's hot the way you said it sometimes Sometimes I get really messy down there, but you don't want it to sound like maybe she has crones to say either that could Totally throw it for a little I was that's why I said messy, but I met it gets it gets wet

You don't want to say moist no no no one wants to be moist if they can avoid it for the rest of their lives. They should not say moist How would you say it? You just say it just makes it get wet. I guess squat. You got to say the word squat word like Ever whatever guy knows that for the most part. Well, if they were watching porn. Okay, I'll be the time to learn more. My vagina thinks it's a fire man. That doesn't work.

No, like a fire hood. But yeah, fire is no. Okay, okay. Okay, hi, Emily, I love your show. I'm a 24 year old. My vagina sneezes a lot. No, that's no good either. No.

Okay. Yeah. sneezes a lot. No, that's no good either. Yeah, it is messy though. If you've ever been like, it does the whole mattress. Second thing. Okay, love your show. I'm a 24 year old female with a 27 year old male partner. We've been together two and a half years. I recently snooped on his phone and found a conversation with his best friend where he described his sexual dream he had about a mutual friend of ours. This mutual friend is, of course, athletic tone and muscular exactly his type. I confess to snooping we talked through it. These texts didn't make me think he was cheating or even interested in her, but now I keep thinking about the fact that he thinks she is so attractive. This is especially hard for me since he likes athletic women, which she is, and I don't always have that body type only when I'm exercising regularly.

It's not that I think he doesn't find me attractive. I just keep thinking that he thinks she and other women are more attractive. This leaves me feeling less attractive in bed and in general. I probably shouldn't expect my partner to think I'm the most attractive person, like I get it. But now I can't get over my self-em issues and feeling lesser than, please help, Caitlin age 24. She also sent the text exchange, which...

Oh, she did. Yeah. Look at that. I know. So this is, I get it. So here's a thing, Caitlin. It's normal for men and women to find other people attractive in a relationship. This is just a fact of life. This is going to happen.

But I get that by you snooping, which I'm not gonna judge, because I honestly feel that everybody snoops these days, right? That it's, this is gonna be particularly harder for you because you read this dream that, or this fantasy he had about this girl. Was it a dream? He had a dream, a fantasy.

He had a dream about her. Which is involuntary. True, but either way. Don't read in the subconsciousness. No, but fantasy is, maybe fantasize about her. Who knows? You dream so many random things, though. It's not because you wanted too necessarily.

Right. Well, that's the thing about fantasy. In fact, fantasy is important in a relationship because it gives us the variety that we don't get from being with other partners. So to have an active fantasy life, and to be thinking about other people, I know that a lot of, when you're married or committed,

you think it's a horrible thing. It's like cheating. And it's not. It's a part our brains work, keeps things exciting. It's part of keeping our radishes alive, actually, is having active fantasy. It doesn't mean that that's what he wants in real life. And you just kind of trust him. Like I feel like you already do trust him, but what has happened here now, Caitlin, is

that this is wreaking havoc on your self-esteem. Yeah. Which probably like a lot of women wasn't, you women, it's always teetering a little bit, like we're always kind of working on strengthening it, but I think that you really have to go back to the conference thing and just trusting that he finds you attractive and that you also love yourself, love your body, find yourself attractive. So when you find yourself obsessing about this, which I get it, I've snooped and then I found things out and I've been obsessive.

You've remininated. I've reminated for sure. Maybe I am OCD, we talked about that earlier. I sure am the sure. I don't think I wish I was OCD. You have a little twinge of OCD, let's move on. I don't think that there's anything that your boyfriend can do to reassure you now and make you feel better.

This is your job, okay, Caitlin? So, your job is to work on your confidence, your body, like if you got to be masturbating more coming up with your own fantasies and what really turns you on, because you say it's also affecting your behavior in the bedroom. So for me, this is a great opportunity, I think, for you, what I suggest, it's a great opportunity for you to say, you know what? I'm going to feel sexy again or whatever makes you feel the sexiest. And this is a fun experience. Like whether it's like watching porn and getting to know your body, maybe you can have multiple orgasms, maybe you can have G spot, maybe you can squirt.

Who knows what, but really like work on taking control, learning your own body, what makes you feel good, feeling confident. He's not cheating. He's having a fantasy. Yeah, a little shady with him talking to his friend about it though, your own body, what makes you feel good, feeling confident? He's not cheating, he's having a fantasy. What do you think? A little shady with him talking to his friend about it, though, especially since it's like, I, they can't ever hang out with that girl again without her feeling really awkward now. Right, right?

Yeah, I don't know about good families. If I had a sexual dream, but you were Madison, it's not sure to be like texting Karano saying, dude, you won't believe this man, I was having this dream, I was double teaming Madison and M last night. I got one of you. That's 24.

That's good point. But even when I was one, I'm just. You would have it 24. I would not have. You had little sisters and a mom that I loved. I was very, I never kissed and told. Ever. Okay, but last night it's you.

Not just you that I don't. I made it was his best friend and he was like, Hey, I had this fantasy, you know, this text thing. But I feel like, um, self-esteem issues are an inside job. So whether you, if it's really getting bad, maybe therapy, I think it's great to go and learn to learn to learn to self. You know, use that energy in a good way. There's nothing wrong with maybe getting a little bit better shape to make yourself feel better about yourself. Not saying you have to do that,

my body's chaining by any means, but being a healthier you is not a bad thing at all. Use this energy and as motivation maybe, I know that I feel a lot better about myself and my relationships, whether it's now or in the past, if I had a little bit of a toned body, or I just felt better from like, you know, whaling on the pitch every now and again. So. It is true.

It is true. A lot of energy to expand too. But I've been working out, but I haven't lately, and I feel like my skin's crawling. You look ripped. Thank you. You really did. But the point is, I need it for my mental space,

for my head. It feels so much better. I get addicted to those endorphins. It's great. Sure. OK. Thank you very much. Thanks, Caitlin.

Let us all know how it goes. I love when we get the follow-ups of how things go and how we help people. Yes. Or we didn't help people. But I think it goes. Let us know. That's what we got time for.

Thanks to Anderson for coming in. Thanks for having me, Emma. Leaving your baby to come see us. We love it.. Let us know. That's what we got time for. Thanks to Anderson for coming in. Thanks for having me, Em. Leaving your baby to come see us. We love it. Yes, I know. I've abandoned my boy to be here. It's okay. I'll be back.

He'll get used to it. Okay, so thank you everyone. Thank you Anderson. Thank you producer Madison. Thank you Eddie and Lori and Jamie. And also you guys, thank you for subscribing. We can subscribe anywhere. I tune to this great and you can review the show. Tell your friends about it. Snapchat, Twitter, thank you for subscribing. We can subscribe anywhere. iTunes is great and you can review the show,

tell your friends about it, snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, all that. And thank you so much for listening. Was it good for you, email me back at sexwithandway.com. you