Sex With Emily - Best Of: Cowgirls, Take it Away – How to Rock on Top

Episode Date: October 5, 2018

On today’s throwback show, Emily and Menace are tackling some common sex questions – from positions to sex toys to sexual health. They discuss the reasons why men send unsolicited dick pics, how to get your confidence up in the woman-on-top position, and the best ways to keep the mood hot when you’re putting on a condom. Plus, a few recommendations for your first big G-spot orgasm – because who doesn’t like that? Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Hot Octopuss, Aneros, Foria, We-Vibe Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemily For even more sex advice, tips & tricks, visit: sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily on Today's show. I'm getting into your sex and relationship questions. How can you feel more confident during the woman on top position? What do you do when your rebound relationship is moving too fast? And is there a way to be putting on a condom hot? Plus the best sex toys to help your partner have a G-Spot orgasm. Who doesn't want that? Thanks for listening. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred

institutions. Betrubize they call them in a fight on day. Hey, Aveline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my god. I'm so grown up. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexletlea.com. You can see all the great things happening there. We upload new content every day.

We update it. Everything there, videos, content, podcasts. We do two a week. You can check it out. So you can have the best sex and relationships of your life, which is why we're here right now. We want to help people. You're just banging out those podcasts two a week. Two a week. Wow. Yeah. I want to do five a week. Like we used to back in the day. That'd be cool. I know. You wouldn't make it here though. I could. I would try. I would try. I would try.

Quick nap on the couch. Yes, as much as possible, but I'm here. I'm awake. Good to see you. I haven't seen you in a month Last time I saw you you're just recovering from the time I saw you before that What's in the hospital? So how are you? Oh my god, it's funny. It's been the most interesting year I have to say from the the spider-bait Tipped the moving to them being sick for like, you I don't know, things are, I mean, have been a little off, I think, but now I'm feeling like February. I'm back in the freaking groove.

It was good, you missed the whole Valentine's Day. You know, busy as time of year, Felix Santa Claus, you know, did tons of press things and you know, was very active on Valentine's Day. I know, I try to book you for the Woody show. I know, I was the only people I was gonna get up at 6 a.m. for, truly, or 7 a.m. or whatever you do. But thank you for the Woody show. I know. I was too busy for this. Only people I was going to get up at 6 a.m. for, truly, or 7 a.m. or whatever you do. But thank you for still talking about me on the show.

I appreciate that. Yeah, we talk about you all the time. My ego loves that. Yeah, it's great. I'll tell you some more about that in a minute. So I haven't seen you in a month, right? So I'm also in the middle of moving and doing all this other stuff and work is just insane. It's going great.

So happy for you. And But in between all that I Had a crazy surgery. What so All right, so if anybody's been listening the show for the past. I don't know what 12 years now or whatever That I get so I get kidney stones in there. Kidney stones here and there. And then, so this is the second time this has ever happened where the kidney stone is

too large so I can't pass it through my body, right? Right. So I mean, we can get into details, right? Yeah, dude, yeah, people, I remember the last, this is going to hurt. Okay. Sit down everyone. It's like the size of a marble and it's stuck in my penis, right? So that is not good because you have to be able to,

you know, urinate and so on. So you can't, the urinate. Yeah, yeah, so. So that's happening. And then the doctor like couldn't believe like, I don't even know how you got this thing that's so large this far right he goes You have to have surgery immediately on my penis. So They're like well you have to go get X-rays done. So I go do that so then they they They do the X-rays and the X-ray guys like,

yep, I can see it because it is so large, right? There's just like, we wake up and you're like, how I heard I've cramps and then they're like, no, I can feel the, because if you had, you've had them for quite a while. The first time you ever have them, you have no idea what's going on and you feel like you're gonna die.

They're like, all right, my appendix has exploded and I'm dead or something. Something bad has happened. But once you learn what the pain feels like and stuff like that, you kind of just deal with them. Some people deal with it better than others. I deal with it very well. I do entire radio shows in the morning and you can't even tell that I'm going through extreme pain. I just like kind of fight it.

You are a trooper. Thank you. You're like, I can't pee. There's a marble in my penis, but let's talk. Let's do it. Yeah. So then, so they do the x-rays and the doctor comes back and he's like, actually, you don't just have one.

You have three large ones. So we got to get you into surgery immediately. So I go into the surgery center, and then they have to knock me out. And there's like, you know, five people in the room. So imagine this, I'm knocked out, five people in the room, they have to go through the hole of your penis to go all the way up. My penis hurts right now. I'm like having like penis sympathy pain. I mean at least I'm knocked out. I have no idea what they're doing, but then

I have to go through like a week of recovery, right? So but I'm so I'm still working still doing. Do they know that your penis was in surgery? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm talking about all the other videos, like, and stuff. But here's another thing. They put a thing called a stint in my body. So it's like kind of like a rubber wire that goes, well, it's going through my kidneys towards my penis. So like what I'm walking around,

I feel like sharp pains here and there, right? But this is the effin worst part, okay? So it's there permanently right now, you have this wire? No, so this is the worst part. Okay, okay. After a week, they're like, okay, we have to get this stint out of your body. Well, how do they get this out of your body?

They go through your penis hole again. They back you out again? But this time, they don't knock you out. Oh! So you walk in, you walk in to the office, and the nurse goes, okay, well, we're gonna take you to the room, so just rub from the waist down, right? And then they, so you just rub from the waist down,

and then they put you up on like this table, and then I had to get up in stir-ups, like I'm having a baby. Right, right. Like we do it the gun call just every year. So then they put like a towel over my body. She's like, okay, well, I have to do the numbing, right? I can't. Okay.

So I'm like laying down a fully awake and the nurse is like putting this like numbing gel on my penis. Yeah, okay, my penis and like it doesn't none that much. Okay, Jesus none that much, but then So she's doing that and then she has to go in the hole and inject it in the hole Oh, right. I can't even handle the Madison's like we're like nauseous here. Okay, not nausea But wincing and paying the same like So dude, okay, no, I'm listening. and pay the bill. I'm not saying like what about to go through, right? So dude, okay. No, I'm listening. I'm like having a hard time, like feeling, okay, go.

So then they do all that. So then three other people come into the room, the doctor, right? And then like two more assistants. So I'm here, like, I'm screaming everywhere. You know, just spread out and he's like, all right, well, we gotta get that thing out.

And they're taking things that needles that look like two feet long. And I mean, there's a blanket covering it, so I can't see what's going on, but then they're shoving the needles in. And I can still feel a lot of what is going on. So then he has to go in there and try to hook this thing and then slowly pulls it out.

Oh my God. It was the most painful and embarrassing thing. You're screaming, was your girlfriend there at all? I know, I kept her out the room. Dude, that's so crazy and painful. Why can't they knock you? Do they tell you this is what's gonna happen? It's gonna hurt.

You go to a good place, a good house bill. I would have visited you and done a Facebook live, like you would be, dude. I'm a guy that like just don't tell me anything. Let's just do it. Yeah, that's true. I can see you. Oh my God, honey, I'm sorry.

So yeah, so that happened and then I'm, so whatever that happened. I did not know this. Okay, a month ago, now we've Jesus, honey, I'm sorry. Okay. Yeah, and then just been in the middle of moving and so you guys having a lot of sex then probably the last few weeks.

Just kidding. No, no, no, no, no, you can't have sex for a while, right? Yeah, but no, not about sex. Yeah, but wait. I'm back in the commission. You are totally back because didn't this happen because you were like drinking too much iced tea or something? Yeah, so the first time this happened to me where it was so large I couldn't pass it.

This is when I was in San Francisco. And I didn't go to a specialist. I went to the emergency room because it was an emergency. And so they don't have a specialist on hand at midnight in San Francisco. So they knocked me out for that one, but then this one, they actually cut my penis, like you know, raw shape, right? And then pulled out the rock. This is crazy.

So when I went to my doctor in Los Angeles, who is a specialist, when I, they did that first time, it took me six months to recover, no sex, nothing, right? What I went to my specialist in Los Angeles, he goes, yeah, I don't know why they did that. I'm like, are you effing kidding me? They all do things differently. I'm sorry, you guys, always get a second to pay any if you need surgery, but you were, that was emergency then. Yeah, but you're right, you never know, every doctor's gonna make different decisions. That's crazy, dude, I can't even believe it. Like, I'm in so much pain much pain. I'm like, oh, sympathy pain. Oh my god I'm sorry. I'm here, but it's like no, but dude that could happen dude

I don't even want to do I'm like sitting here like writing and pain. I'm sorry that that happened to your penis I hope it's okay now. I'm okay You can't even tell like if I looked like if I looked at your penis now it would look like it's normal. Okay good I'm glad I'm glad but that's okay dude. I'm glad you're okay Like it feels normal. Okay, good. I'm glad. I'm glad you're okay. But then in a good way, like, you're like, shit, I hope I get it.

I hope I get a kiddie's down. So my penis looks swollen. Yeah, I want to get swollen. Anything for a bigger penis. And then what else was I going to tell you? Oh, so going back to talking about you on the on the radio. So we were, yeah, I mentioned you all the time because anything that comes up like sex wise.

Right. That's where you learned that you You learned everything about sex from sex. Yeah. So it was funny. So today, so it's the Woody show, by the way, if you guys don't know, it's on in Los Angeles on Altman, 87 in the morning. And you can listen online. And you can listen online. You just search the show. You want to hear about this three hours a day. It's a it's a podcast. We don't talk about sex as much. we do. Only when minus talks about sex. Okay.

And then we're on in Missouri on Alps 1049 in St. Louis. Okay. So if you want to tune in. Anyways, so today we did a contest where we go, what's your weapon of choice? So we had two women call in and they gave it, they gave us three options of what sex way that they use. So they, they describe themselves and they go, then we had a guess like what sex way that they use. So they describe themselves and they go, then we had a guess like what sex toy is their favorite sex. I think it will weapon of choice.

And no weapon of choice means like what kind of vibrator to use? That was one of your segments on the show today. Yeah, yeah. Oh my god, you guys are so progressive. Okay. So today, dude, and they had to describe them and you're like, I know what that is, that's the magic wand. They were like, yeah, so one of the contestants was the, the, it was one they had was it, they had the, her touchy magic wand. Right. And then they had the, the beamy, right? The beamy?

The beamy. The beamy, the beamy. Yeah. Dude, you're all of this. And I knew all of them. I know. You're like the beamy, the magic wand. Yeah, and they're like, yeah, dude, you all of this I knew all of them. I'm like a pebble. You're like the me the matchup Yeah, and they're like oh

Like men as how do you know like all the names and all the kind of stuff and that's crazy? It's funny because I was able to like Everything because I knew like what level they were at, you know like they go Okay, is it the bullet or was it the rabbit or was this and then one girl's like like, oh yeah, I have like, I have like 12 sex toys. I'm like, oh, she has a rabbit. She's like not starting off with the bullet, you know? Do look at you. Where they like, look at you. You've met us and everyone used a sex toy,

you know, about sex toys. I hope you pick some stuff up here. So, but we definitely gave you a shout out. Thank you, honey. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. I love it. Well, because everyone was shocked.

No, I'm glad you learned something. I don't know how it's helped your sex life. I really hope for my hope. I hope that you're having amazing sex because of that. But if you've just become a walking and it's like, you know, having psychopedic knowledge or sex toys, that's good too. It's a good party trick.

Yes. Okay, speaking of penises, I would like to move into sex than news here because your whole penis thing, I got to kind of recover from that. But that is the sex in news is about dick pics because that's all the rage right now. But there's actually been a study about why men send pictures of their junk to women according to science. Yeah, everything goes back to like evolutionary psychology and why man, anything cave man shit. Yeah, like you are afraid of getting you know hit by a rock in your

head no but here's the thing um 49% of women have received a dick pic that they could have gone another day without seeing no woman wants a dick pic no woman is saying god right now I'm kind of bored at work I could get it go get like a frappuccino or wait for a dick pic, okay? So 49% is so many dick pics, okay? So when, so they've established though that like, we've all established, I think guys know, you're all listening to this. I feel like this is not a secret that we don't want dick pics. Like unsolicited dick pics are not popular.

Women are like, I've never met a woman's like, yeah, I love it. And I get if you're dating someone or you ask for it. I'm just saying an unsolicited random dick pic, you match with a guy online or you go out with them watching, I'm like, here's dick pic and here's why. Men are simply misperceiving women's interests

in receiving photos of their junk. So like, it says, they're just thinking like, she's interested in me and she probably wants this. So there's a large amount of research that says they're not good men are not good at determining how interested women are in sex like across the board. So reading body language is not the strongest quality of men. Obviously, that may lead to a misunderstanding about her interest in receiving spontaneous pictures of your crotch. So what guys tend to do is they confuse friendliness

for blatant flirting. So he just thinks, oh, she's into me. She must, therefore, she must want to see a picture of a penis. And here's the evolutionary theory. It's called error management. It suggests many women have evolved specific cognitive biases that are likely to assist in successful reproduction. So over perceiving a female stranger's interest in sex,

whether it's in Tinder or in the real world, could be viewed as an adaptive from the perspective of this theory that men will pass up the potential reproductive opportunities. So you're just saying, men are like, I don't know, she smiled at me. So she must like me and that goes back to evolution or we're always looking at all of this stuff

about sex and evolution is typically about finding a mate staying long enough. The reason why people stray a lot of times in relationships or why there's the honeymoon phase is because after 18 months it's like enough time to have a baby and men can run and spread their seat. So all this stuff has to go back to reproduction. But it's not going to work for women. So they're just saying, I know it's a lot of information, but it's going to feel like the

woman's attention most of the time you guys. So I just will not send the dick pic But it happens all the internet's on snapchat. I block you If you see everyone out of my entire life Talking with women. I think I've only found one woman that I've talked to who enjoyed a dick pic One pic not like multiple right. She enjoyed it and it was so weird because she said that the guy was so large that she didn't believe it and then she actually heard her friend

and went like, went and stalked the guy and haunted him down. Because it was that impressive. It was that impressive. Don't get people. Don't, don't, don't. She was like, her and her friend went to this guy's neighborhood to like, look around for him and see

Like he was up to They wanted a date on She was so intrigued with the size of the Did anything happen? No, I didn't ask for update But I should because I feel like I've shared this story before where she actually went in like stock the guy After a dick pic. But believe me, that's like, that's a one in a million type thing.

Yeah, no, that is. You guys, and see, this is what concerns me now, guys are like, well, mine's impressive. So now I'll set it, but, you know, no, just don't. Like, just, even no matter how big, small, it doesn't matter, we don't, we typically don't want to see it. But I think it's interesting talking about how men don't, you know, misperceive women's body language and their interest in sex.

We always talked about how men have a harder time reading cues, and I realized that I used to, I was talking about this on the show last week too, that I used to, I was a big flirt. I feel like I'm less of a flirt here. I don't know, lately in the last few years, maybe, but I remember, I would get accused of being a flirt, but it was more than I'm friendly. Like, I truly am like this friendly. I love meeting new people.

I'm nice and I feel like I'm truly interested in meeting men. Women, when I go out, I get just excited to have a great conversation with a new friend or a new guy or girl. But it was often misperceived by guys that I was interested and then the guys I was dating would get jealous. And so I think it's confusing for women. So a lot of women don't show anything like they shut down and they don't, they're not friendly

or they don't flirk as they're afraid that like men are just gonna wanna bang them. So it's all about evolution. Yes. Yes, exactly. Can I bring something else to this? Please, you can. Did you have other surgery?

I feel so bad, it's any flowers. No, no, no, no. So this is something I'm sure you've talked about the show. I should talk about on the show. I'm not on every show. So I don't know what others have that you talk about. But I was so intrigued by it. So I'm friends with this band called Man-Kib.

So they're a band. They do a ton of major music festivals all over the place. And so they start video blogs and they do interesting things. You can check them out at youtube.com slash man Kim where they go to like the abandoned zoo and stuff like that. But on Valentine's Day, they did this video, which was hilarious about the app field. Have you heard about it?

No. Okay. So cool. You haven't talked about it. So this app feels like someone just sent me something about like yesterday, okay. Okay, cool. So it's basically like a Tinder, but you're looking to add somebody in.

So like three sums. Right, that's why. Three sums and more, whatever, right? Orgis, what else? Orgis, yeah, it's Friday. And so they're like, let's get on this app and see who's on there. So they get on the app and there is a ton of people looking for three sums field.

Yeah. It's F-E-E-L-D-A-L-D. Uh-huh. And they were like finding people in their neighborhood. They were just like into it. Never knew you guys being to wait. I always say it's your neighbor's probably having a threesome. Your neighbor's probably an open-release chip, but you don't know it so the crew that I that I work with

On the Woody show or there's nine people now, right? Okay, and You have like five people behind the scenes that help out the show and One of them's like, yeah, yeah me and my partner were on field. I would I would bet I would never think It's not just A ponytail no no no girl. Oh, oh, oh girl. Does her boyfriend have a ponytail medicine? Swingers and ponytails are people who look for you since the ponytails why I think you buried that notion Well see thing is okay, so his girl her Her fiance is the military, so I don't know. He most likely does have plenty to

tell because the military. Right. They made him cut it right when you got there to train. Right. I don't know what it is, but I was so. See. He was so shocked on like. Yeah, dude. I'm telling you. There's a lot of people like who would be on that on the app. Should be the last one. She was like, yeah, I do it. I don't believe it. So, you know, I definitely a lot of people that listen to the show are probably interested. They're interested. Do some swiping. Apparently it's great.

Just check out the video. It's awesome. Okay, cool. No, dude, that's I think. Yeah, who knows? Is that your way of telling me that you've had a three-some now with your girlfriend on this app? No.

Did you be the last person it wouldn't have? But if it did, you have to tell me. Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah. I would. Would she? I think it's time. You guys have been together. You used to have a scround. did, you have to tell me. Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah, I would. Would she? I think it's time you guys have been together, you used to have a scround.

This is not something I always do guys, because tell me, show them three things. But if you're just in a new relationship and you're trying to spice things up, that's not the reason for three things. But this is not a thing, so I'm showing you maybe in the early days I could have, but probably not now.

Right, you're too tired. I gotcha. Okay, so thank you for all that, Mattis. Okay, we're going to take a quick break. We're going to come back. We're going to answer your emails. Yeah, thanks. Okay, we're gonna take a quick break. We're gonna come back. We're gonna answer your emails. Yeah, thank you everyone for supporting our sponsors. We love them, I hope you do too.

And thanks for listening, we'll be right back. We're back. We're back. Okay guys, thank you for emailing us and sending in your questions. I love that, you emails that go to sexzelmy.com click on the Ask Emily tab felt the form hit submit that's it you could also select that you want to be called what we got we got to email into our show about me on this show what they say and they

said in the email like menace I love you on the Woody show but I don't like you on success no way dude how did you feel about that I said you on the Woody show, but I don't like you on success. No way dude. How did you feel about that? I said, you know how I am yeah, and they read it. Yeah, they read on here. They don't like you. It's like so Yeah, you're controversial whatever everyone. I'm controversial But I love you I don't know why I'm just saying I think that's interesting. Well, you know Don't give up your day job. No, you're awesome.

And so people, I think that you have, you're very opinionated about things. You can go on. And it's just like, you know, people that are like, really like all about sex all the time. Like they want to be open to everything. And which I don't knock and I support it. You, you can do whatever you want. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm not judging you. I don't give a shit.

People get mad at Anderson. He says, he's only about, he's not looking at himself. Yeah, but I'm just saying, I'm just saying it's just not for me and you shouldn't be offended by that. Yeah, don't ever be,

please don't be offended by man. My comments is not stopping you from doing anything. No, he doesn't really count you guys. He's just here having fun, having coffee. He came for the coffee and the friendship for a long time. You're awesome.

Oh, wait, I didn't finish saying how you can email because you caught me off. Sorry. So sex on me.com. Ask Emily. You want to click on the tab. You can also say you want to be called. We'll be doing call shows, which I actually am really enjoying because I love your emails. But with the calls, we can just like get into your stuff in like three minutes. It's really fun. We have it's been really helpful for a lot of people. You can also leave a voicemail 8-8-8-ask-SWE1 and always leave your gender, your age, where you live and how you listen. Okay. Back to the email.

Emily, I'm a 21-year-old woman who hates being on top during sex. I've never liked it. Aside from feeling like my guy is getting really awful, angle view of my body, I just don't feel like I do a good job. My man is a sweetheart and sticks to the positions we both like, but I know he wants to be on bottom sometimes. I want to be able to do that for him and find pleasure in it myself. How can I get involved with this position and not feel so uncomfortable? Are there techniques I should try? I know I have to work and

let him go the idea that he's seen me from my poor angle and I'm trying. What's the best way to be on top? I like the idea of reverse cowgirl, but I feel like it's uncomfortable. Am I doing it wrong? Ugg help. Vanessa age 21. Vanessa, this is a very good question and always a good question because I think a lot of women can relate to having that confidence in the bedroom. You know, so many of us have insecurities about our body and our performance. So it kind of spoils down self-confidence because you think like you're not gonna be like

flattering to your partner and that you might do the position correctly. And the thing is is that, you know, it can be challenging when we're in our head, like, manages to probably worry now that there's like, you know, marble coming out of his penis when he's having sex. I don't know what you worry about. No, no, there's no more.

Even securities, no more. Like, you got them out. What I'm saying, like, no, insecurities and stuff like that. And yeah, there is, it's weird. I know, like, a lot of men probably prefer a woman on top, right? I think so. And, but there's women out there that are just not into it at all.

And typically, this is why, because I think that they, they feel like it's out there that are just not into it at all. And typically this is why because I think that they feel like it's on a great position. They're not confident with their bodies because they know that that's like, here you go, here I am, and all my glory. And if you have any sort of body issues which so many women and men do, it's not, it's going to be like, nope, I'm not doing it. And therefore, since you haven't done it very often, you might be in a relationship where you're more comfortable now.

And then you're like, but I don't know what I'm doing. So it's a common conundrum for women, I totally get it. And also guys, they want you to get on top because yes, it looks really hot. I promise you that your boyfriend is attracted to all those things. And mostly what we worry about is not typically what our partners are thinking about. You're in the bed with them, he's there, he's attracted to you. And I found this interesting stat that women consistently overestimate their body size as much as 25% and they vastly overestimate how, best overestimate how thin men want them to be.

And women with a negative body image report much lower levels of sexual rousal than those of positive self judgments. I mean, this is not a new study. This is not new information, but I'm just telling you that you can, that it's very common and just reading stats won't be enough, so don't worry, I'm going to give you some practical tips here. But if you can just know that like all these things that were worrying about our head, they're going to be performing, I'm not doing it right, or typically like Justin your head, your part. We pretty much say this every other show and for the past 12 years. Yes.

Guys, 99.9% of the shit. They don't give a shit. No, and man with your penis size, we don't care. Like how many size I've tell you. We're so happy you're having sex with us. Guys are so simple, they're so stupid. That's why they out of one guy's cheat, they always get caught because they're that.

Yeah, guys, we're not cheating just as much, but they're not getting caught. I know, they don't get caught. I had my get caught because there's so much. So I know. Guys are dumb. Guys are dumb. Okay, so listen, we're all, we all have children in these areas, we all have blind spots, okay?

So here's the thing, sweetie, Vanessa, where's something? First of all, you don't just remember this. You don't have to be naked during sex. In fact, sometimes like, it's, you wear like a sexy, like t-shirt or like, what, something that makes you feel comfortable, like I have all these cute little, like, little tank tops, or even if it's where a sexy t-shirt or something that makes you feel comfortable. I have all these cute little tank tops, or even if it's like a sweatshirt with your shoulders coming off, something like that or sexy underwear if you're not as comfortable. But that's

just like my first do that or don't do that. See if that helps you. But really, it's really about let me start with the sexual confidence part and I'll get into positions for you. That sexual confidence is really, the more self confidence you have, like that will help you with your, the more sex confidence, sexual confidence you have will help you with yourself confidence. And the more pleasure that you will allow your body to feel, the more you'll be able to relax and let go.

So it's like baby steps here. I'm not saying that you're just gonna hop on top and feel like, oh my God, it's amazing because Emily told me so. Just know that the more sex you have and the more you try this, you'll also feel more competent and also sexual competence,

help you with sexual confidence. So even if your mind starts to flow but not so when you get on top and you're like, oh God, I'm having all these negative thoughts. You can, in that moment say, okay, I I'm thinking this thought not so pleasant, put the focus back on doing something. So it could be pleasing your partner. It could be focusing on the fact that you're on top of him and the pleasure that you're

feeling. You know, just, it's a really a mind, now that you've even said to me that you know that you do this, it's probably the thoughts once you notice the thoughts you redirect them. So really, it's just, like I said, it's like a negative feedback loop, the more that you know that you do this. It's probably the thoughts, once you notice the thoughts, you redirect them. So really, it's just like I said, it's like a negative feedback loop, the more that you think about it, the more destructive it will be, but the more you just do it and practice, you'll feel better. Now, here are some things, once you get through some of this stuff, or even just, it's all going to work together. So here's how you do woman on top, okay? This is super, super basic. The reason why women on top is great,

not only because you look amazing and you're part of think it's super sexy, is because you can control the motion, the depth, the penetration, like you can like your clitoris typically needs more stimulation, you can rub it, he can rub it, you can use a toy. So he's lying on his back on the bed and then you get on top and you put your knees on either side of him and you like straddle him

and then you slowly lower yourself down onto his erect penis if it's not erect yet, put it in your hand, give him a blowjob first. But that moment, this is something too. Like that moment when you get to like lower down onto a man's penis when I was like thinking about this, I was like, that's freaking hot.

So don't speed through that part. Don't you think you just kind of get into like the fast sex? I always say to slow down. And I always say it about four play, but I think even that moment when you're like, for the first time, for it's been a while or whatever it goes in, it feels awesome. So, the key here is to go slow, that feels good.

Also, here's the positions. So if you're straddling him, you can move up and down to Bilbo Mentum, or for a lot of women, it just feels really good to rub your chest, like your whole torso on his body and grind from side to side or in circles. And that way you might feel like a little less self-confident

because you're not like up on, you're not like, you know, your breasts aren't all exposed, your body's not exposed. And that can feel really good. Like women don't you feel like women you've been with or like have their chest on top of you or they're moving back and forth? Yeah.

Or they're on top of the mattress, or you get on your feet on top of the bed of the mattress and you can go up and down. But that's just like porn. I mean, I think that feels good. But that's not the- I love it. They love that. But I feel like typically for most women, it's the back and you can go up and down. But that's just like porn. I mean, I think that feels good, but that's, I love it. They love that, but I feel like typically for most women,

it's the back and forth, the around motion, that feels the best. Going back to it again, guys, love anything. You know what I'm saying? It's just like, it meant also last longer in this position. Yes. He can pay with your breasts. You don't have to do all the work.

Here's the other thing. He can grab your hands, have you dry your back and forth. That was a good woman on top, 101. Do you got this, Vanessa? So really, I think that it's, it's going to be intuitive once you get on top, but the more you can grab your hands, have you dry right back and forth. That was a good woman on top, 101. Do you got this Vanessa? So really I think that it's gonna be intuitive once you get on top, but the more you can think about these thoughts, sexy thoughts, practice it. He's gonna be psyched.

The more you do it, I'm telling you, it's okay if it doesn't feel great the first time like any new sex visions, you're gonna get into this and you're gonna get through this because we all do. We all get through these insecurities. Okay. Another email here, hey Emily, I love your podcast. My question is I'm recently

divorced and it wasn't a nice break. I started dating when I'm having some issues. The woman I'm seeing told me she loves me during sex. Oh, okay. So during sex she did the whole I love you during sex and now I set it back in the heat of the moment. She now texts me constantly and I'm a single dad. I have my boys in the weekends. I work three jobs this During the week for total of 70 plus hours She texts me all the time check this minus 46 times in an hour Like that's bordering on stalking not that healthy I can do that no

He's afraid I'm afraid I let her on. I like spending time with her when I can, but it's now to the point of annoying me, so I don't want to spend time. I've known her for years, don't want to hurt her, but I don't know what to do. Any advice would be amazing. Thank you, Eric, age 45.

Okay, when I read the 46 times in an hour, like I was done. I'm like, okay, that's a little obsessive. That's a little bit, like, I'm worried about her. That's very obsessive. 46 times, and I don't think he's exaggerating. This is like, you need to like slowly back out of this one. Like, two in an hour.

I don't even double text, ever. So, you just gotta be straight. And I'm a little afraid for her to well be. The next person who checks me and sometimes takes me like, four days, get back to her. Right, dude, I know that. I'm a little afraid for me. Well be it sometimes it takes me like four days Get back to her right dude. I know that I was there we got it I couldn't if I got 40 in a day I would throw my phone in the ocean like only you know 46 times if if there's like an emergency like you got into car accident. You're dying something's happening. Okay your house some fire That's borderline. I have a problem with this you gotta be straight with her

You just got to say that your priority right now is on your family happening, okay, your house, some fire. That's borderline. I have a problem with this. You gotta be straight with her. You just gotta say that your priority right now is on your family, it's on your work, you're with the boys, it seems that you really want to maintain your friendship, your glad she's in your life, but this just isn't working for you right now. And then you gotta cut ties. Yeah.

And I know she's gonna be upset and you've been friends for a long time and that's why you guys, people always say, should I sleep with a friend? A lot of times it works, a lot of times it it doesn't but hopefully since you've been friends long enough Eric She can take your your honesty not too honest. You don't even have to bring up the texting you guys I think that sometimes you don't have to confront everything, but clearly this is delicate She's really into you and I just say you got to back out gracefully or you can just change your number and go Well, I know that's why you got it to say you know what?

And it's not you really don't have time right now. Some guys who knows might have been get off on it. Usually she knows where you live. I just think that maybe if she, in some women, like they can't handle not getting what a guy doesn't get back to them. But usually if that happens, I'll text my friends and be like, why isn't he getting back to me? Why isn't he back to me?

You're not gonna say your fault's broken. Okay, that's just 46 times. Okay, hi Emily. I just discovered your show. I absolutely love it as improved my daily commute and sex life. Hopefully you can help me out a bit. I just started seeing a guy,

and he has trouble keeping it up with a condom on. I'm pretty strict about condoms. They're my only source of birth control. My question is, how do I help my guy keep it up with a condom? He says they make it so we can barely feel anything. Any suggestions would be much appreciated. appreciated. Love Christine 23 Washington DC. Have you had this problem? No, I always see guys. I always think guys are full of shit when they say that. No, they're not. I mean. They say that they can't feel anything. No, no, honey.

Every penis is different. Like snowflakes, just like the women's. It is true that for a lot of guys, they're like wearing them on condoms or they had one bad experience, so in their brain, they're thinking, I can't feel it, I can't feel it. So much of sex is like a logical, you guys. So much of life is like a logical. It's the thoughts in our head prevent us from, we are holding ourselves back from so many things. I think if he doesn't say, okay, if he's able to stay erect with the condom on and no issues, then I think he's full of it. But if he is not able to do that,

then maybe yeah, maybe he's not lying. He's probably not lying. He really can't. Who knows why, but there could also be these wearing the wrong size. Maybe he doesn't like the latex condoms. Typically, women have latex allergies, but men can as well.

And there's so many condoms on the market. And guys, I think they're just like boiled to some brands and they're just like, this is just every condom's the same. You know, like every, what is everything the same anymore? Like it doesn't matter what kind of toilet paper I buy. Like it doesn't matter. It'll condoms actually matter. So I'd steer away from latex.

I always recommend skin condoms, SKYN. They have them in every drug store, every brick and mortar. I think you could buy them on our website in the store. It's the best. They're whole toe, I was like, toge, tagline, slogan, closest thing to wear, nothing. It truly is. It's non, again, non latex, it's polyester brain, they feel really, really good. Every person I've ever recommended to you is like, thanks me.

It could also be the size. It could be wearing two tight of condoms so you could get a variety pack. I think they're also on our website. Lifestyles makes them as well. Lifestyle condoms are great. Skin is a part of lifestyles, but they sell these packs that are like elite, studded, large, original, and you could buy a variety pack.

So try four different kinds and see what works. Just make sure it's like also like you could put lube in the tip of the condom, which enhances the sensation for him. I always recommend a few drops of lube in the tip of the condom before he puts it on. So these are all things you can do. Water-based lube, tip of condom, try new freaking condoms. Then if you can't get hard, then if you can't stay hard, we can talk about other things.

But you guys, this whole condom thing, try it like toys. I wouldn't just buy one toy and be done. It's kind of similar in a way, like condoms, you're so loyal, so loyal. Maybe it's not kind of I shatter out the the womanizer you did yeah Which you look at you you're like a blocky. Yeah, because they're going through all the sex toys and this girl's like I got all these blah blah. I'm like do you have the womanizer? Did she like I was acting like I knew what I was talking about and she's like no, but I heard about it

I was like oh I I tell them to go to my website next time you say bye to my, you guys know you can buy all this stuff in my website. Yeah, and I was like, well, you need to get on it. That's the hot thing right now. It is. No, the womanizer, I mean, it's so funny because again, in the 12 years we've been doing this,

someday we'll be like in the 30 years. Soon like your car will come with a toy, a sex toy like it'll be crazy. But the womanizer truly in the 12 years is one of the most unique toys that is just not going to make everyone still talk about it because it's so unique. Like it's that pleasure or technology that you indirectly, it's like giving little butterfly kisses to your clitoris, which is what I think many women want that lighter touch. It's like simulates oral sex.

And it's the woman orgasm. If you haven't heard me talk about a while so you want one fear of growth uh... womanizer like i feel like you don't pick the i just want her to come here and like uh... she come one day just take it to her i just don't have it how could she not like orgasms uh...

you claim that she could never have a assuming that maybe you're busy in you're tired sometimes and she might, or you could do it together just to mix it up because toys do not take away from your relationship they enhance it. Why are you judging me? I'm no judgey, no judgey, I want your girlfriend who I don't know to experience pleasure.

I just want her to experience pleasure. You're just a pusher. I have a pusher. You're a pusher too. On the show, I just feel like you got to put your money where your mouth is now. OK. So yeah, that was enough of that answer.

Condoms do that. We got time to go to the email here. G-Spot, more toys. Let's see if men are going to get into this one. Emily, my wife and I have an amazing marriage and sex life. Your show has helped in many ways. We've enjoyed G-Spot stimulation for some time now, but it has always been me using my fingers on her. This is fantastic and always intense for both of us, but I want to purchase her

toy so she can pleasure herself. She's very, she's very petite hands as been unable to achieve a G-Spot orgasm by herself. There are so many options for toys, both dildos and vibrators. It's hard to know where to start. I'm interested in the enjoy pure one was hoping you had to pin it down this product. Your feedback would be greatly appreciated by an age 42. Thanks Brian for your question. A great, great question here because let's talk about the G spot. Okay. Typically for women who have not found their G spot,

it does help fingers are a great way to find it and for a lot of women Their fingers just don't do it. So I often suggest your partner can do it So you guys have been doing that. I'm glad you found it. I'm glad she has intense orgasms And I also get like wow again toys. It'll be a totally it'll still be G-Spot orgasm But a different sensation. So the enjoy pure wine. I God This was one of the first and probably only dildos I got that I really, really loved. I don't really talk about it that much because I'm such a vibe girl,

but when I started thinking about talking about, I actually got kind of excited because it's 1.5 pounds of stainless steel. It's like you could club someone over the head with it, okay? It's a very luxurious type. You wouldn't though. But like it looks like a weapon, but it doesn't, like it's also beautiful luxurious. It's a very luxurious type. You wouldn't though. But it looks like a weapon, but it doesn't,

it's also beautiful luxurious. It looks like it's like a curve shape and it's too bulbous ends on it. And it's, I mean, it's strong, it's heavy. And the larger end is for G-spot simulation, the smallest for prostate, although it could easily satisfy either. It's eight inches long.

And the thing is, you don't have to insert very much to stimulate it. It's like you could very easily with your hand. It's so easy and like the weight and the feel of the steel, the stainless steel, like it's solid metal. It just feels really good and the pressure. It can be since it weighs so much. It's like pounds of steel. It feels you're not pounding away, but you don't need that much. Like once you target it, you just like hit up against it with these gentle movement. It's the coolest thing. It's like steering a ship or something. Like, it's just, it doesn't, I can't explain.

It's like, it's so for many women, a depth way to find your dreams about. Now, it can be also a little bit advanced for people. And so that's why some women want the vibe. Like, there's no vibration. That's just a good dildo, no vibe. I like the rave by Wevi. We did a review show on it. It's just a great, I love the way it's shaped.

I love all the vibration patterns. You can also use it with a smartphone. You can control it. Bluetooth. Bluetooth, because we talked about it too, the Wevi. You talked about the Wevi sink probably. And now the couples toy. Yes.

Dude, you don't even need any. What do you use it so low? You can use it so low. probably and now the couples toy. Yes. Dude, you don't even need any money. What do you use it so low? Who are you? You can use it so low. As a hand job. Yeah. But this is the V5, the rave by V5.

There's also the Fun Toys G-Vi, which splits like this. It splits into directions. This is a great toy. It's kind of like a three-fer because it's, it's you can do the G-Spot, you can do the Enter of the vagina. You can also use it on the men's prostate. It's just a really cool toy. It's also on our website.

These are all great G-spoi toys, the Rave, the Fun Toys, or I would say yes, get the enjoy. You guys know where her G-spot is. I think you'd like it. It's a really cool toy. You can also make it hot or cold. Put it in the freezer, you can boil it. It feels really good.

That's what I'm gonna say. I'll give you one of those two minutes. Load it up. Load it up. Load it up, baby. Yeah, I have a big trunk today. I have the Toyota Mariah, which is a hydrogen powered car. Oh, really?

Yeah, it's great. What do you do? Wow. There's hydrogen stations around California and other parts of the country. You never have to get gas. You just pull a hydrogen. Well, if you buy one of them,

they give you three years of fuel. Really? That's really cool. I just give you a credit card. I hate getting gas. one of them, they give you three years of fuel. Really? That's really cool. I just give you a credit card. I hate getting gas. I run out of gas like more than the average person. Like more than ten years. This wouldn't be good for you then

because you have to actually go find the station. No, I do. You can't just pull up anywhere. I want to get that in my brain that like when it says you have one or two miles left, when it says low fuel, most people get gas. But I'm like, oh, I've got 30 miles. Yeah.

But I typically make my quits three minutes. So I really don't need gas that often and I always think I can go, I can go, I can go. Yeah. And then I sometimes I get gas. You should do a half electric half hybrid. I just, yeah, that's true. I always got a car that I smashed.

Okay, I think it's all right now, because it's a stupid gate that you don't pull into. We've all crashed our car in it. Have I ever talked about this ever? It's very interesting. But there's this goddamn gate coming in. There's you to park in the right next door, the right gate. But we've got this little narrow lot.

And there's a gate that came out too far and all of us, I'm telling you, there's probably been $3,000 collective of car damage. Because if you pull in too quickly, you don't pay attention. So as the gates used to swing open my landlord, said he fixed it, not sure if he did, you crash your car.

We've all done it. Yeah. So that's fun. OK, that's all we got time for. I'm going to go to see you. Oh, it's great seeing you. I hope that you and your penis are well. I'm sorry.

I would send you a piece of ours. But I thank you to all the listeners to, you know, I get, I'll be random places and people tell me to listen to this challenge. I love it. I love it. And I love you all for listening. Thank you, followers on Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram,

all that stuff. Add to Xenely Facebook. Oh, you've been posting any hot picks on Instagram. Yeah, totally do, every day. And Facebook.com slash text. Emily, subscribe to our newsletter. And you know, a lot of people say they're listening. My friend was listening.

He's like, oh, I was in Spotify, and I was looking at podcasts. And you came up. So you guys realized that you could find a sense of Spotify, SoundCloud, Google Play, it's not just iTunes anymore, it's awesome. Did you find any hot pictures? Yeah, well, there's some cute ones. You're not really showing off any skin,

which, you know, that's what really, I'm putting a naked picture up today, so check out my Instagram. Okay, thanks everyone for listening. Thank you. Well, there's one you're showing off your stomach. Wait, I don't like that, yeah. Okay, so look at my Instagram. Okay, thanks everyone for listening. Thank you. There's one you're showing off your stomach. Guys will like that. Yeah. Okay, look at my stomach. Instagram.com slash the Woody show. Oh, sorry.

It's last sex. Sorry. That's what I say every day. There's Woody's on the screen.com slash sex. Emily. Who is to get? Wait, you do the slash with the Instagram. Don't be able to see. Well, see like some people are not on the Instagram, but they still want to see the photo. No, I get it. Visit it like I get it. You got it. That's really smart.

Thank you, men. It's God learned so much for me today. Okay, everyone. Thanks for listening. Thank you to my whole team. I love you. And was it good for you? Email me.

Feedback at sexwithemily.com. you