Sex With Emily - Best Of: Emojis -- The New Mating Call?

Episode Date: March 1, 2019

On today’s throwback show, Emily is giving her expert advice on common sex and dating dilemmas to get you headed in the right direction for amazing sex. Plus, Emily gives advice on ways to communicate if you’re concerned that your partner is NOT masturbating, how to know when to stop the casual dating and dive back into something serious, and which emojis will most likely get a you a text back. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Apex, Promescent, Jopen, Good Vibrations, and SiriusXM. Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemily. For even more sex advice, tips & tricks, visit: sexwithemily.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and today's show we're tackling your sex and dating questions. Topics include, are you confused by your partner's masturbation routine? Want to know the most responsive emojis to use for dating? Oh, in casual sex. When is too much, just too much. All this and more, thanks for listening. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.

Betrubized they call them in a fight on day. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Avaline?

What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything you between for more information go to sex the Emily dot com You can check out all the cool stuff. We have going on there. Check out our Videos blog posts and also follow us on social media. We love that Everything's at sex Emily cross the board and now we're kind of doing three shows a week We're giving that a try little quickie shows. I'm here with menis. Hey, what's going on? Hi menis? It feels like it's been a while It's been like six Hi menace feels like it's been a while. It's been like six months It feels like six years in my heart. It feels like six years in real time in real life

It feels like six months. Yeah, do you remember when we did the quickie shows? We used to do those 15 minutes Yeah, like a long time ago and so now I know they were fun and they're like quick information that people can just you know Snap up so I was thinking about you because I know that you're traveling a lot and your whaty show It's like in every city in the world right now In two cities, but I was thinking it's like because we have to figure out like you know how many shows we're gonna be able to do together And I thought I was so and we're doing these quicky shows now So we used to those back in the day and people loved them so I'm bringing the quicky back We're doing like three shows a week. That's great

But I was thinking about you minus because I how much the last few days we've done a lot of shows here. We had Dr. Drew here. We've been doing a lot of stuff and a lot more shooting and videos. And I was like, I was exhausted. Like I did, you know, a few hours of shows. I think, menace gets up every day, just like 16 hours. And I just appreciate you, right? We've known each other for for a long time. Thank you. And I was thinking, I tell them that, I mean, I tell menace I appreciate them. And I was like, we

like, to take compliments. And then I started thinking, what's menace's I mean, I tell men as I appreciate them. And I was like, but you like to take compliments. And then I started thinking, what's menace's love languages? And we've talked about the love languages on the show. Love languages? Do you know the love languages? We've talked about this, haven't we? I've been obsessed with it. The book, the love languages.

So it talks about how everyone in a relationship receives love, right? And different with you. There's five categories, right? And typically there's two, how we feel love or appreciate it or grateful. And you could do it like, what's that? You could do it with your mom. And it came about four people in relationships. It was like a minister in a church developed eight years ago.

And I dropped it here and there. I think it's such a useful tool because I was thinking, what could I get for a minus? A gift. Here's the five things. Ready? All right. And you tell me which two resonate how you feel the most appreciated. There's only two. Okay. If someone gives you a gift, like if I was like, oh, I'll bring menace to Kila because you love to kill them.

Like, oh, we start really drinking anymore as much. Is it words of affirmation? Like, say menace, you're so great. Thank you. I appreciate you. Is it physical touch? Like, do you want me to give you a massage when you walk in the door? I don't think it is.

But maybe in a relationship? In a relationship? Well, this, okay, typically they're for a relationship. Okay. So for us, physical touch would probably be out unless you want me to like give you a hand job or something. Okay. But I'm not sure.

So it's words of affirmation gift, physical touch, quality time. So if I was like every Tuesday, you know, if you're in a relationship, I'm going to give you a relationship perspective and then I'll tell you how I feel about you. Gifts, let's say your girlfriend comes home and she's like, man, it's like I bought you, you know, those new sneakers you wanted. And she picked up dinner, no, but she bought you something a present you wanted. All right. You covered it. Or she knows you're always really hungry and you never have time to get dinner. And then she starts like bringing you dinner every night or a few times a week. She's like, I thought about you. That would be an act of service, right? Or she fills your car with gas.

Yeah. It does a favor for you, right? Acts of service. Then there's words of affirmation, you're so hot, man, it's you're so great. I think you're amazing. There's physical touch. And she's like, you know, you come home and she's, she's touching you all the time and you feel very, very loved. And then there's quality time where she's like, you know what, minus every Saturday night, like it's just the two of us and none of my friends,

any of your friends and just together, we're gonna, you know, commit or we're just going to take those are the five. Okay. I can only choose two. Well, in your heart, and everyone listening, if you're in a relationship, there's got to be like two of them that speaks to you most. Like, oh yeah, you know, when in my part, I really wish you bought me more gifts or I wish that he hugged me more.

And there's usually two and our part typically doesn't have the same ones. So of those gifts and active service, words of affirmation, physical touch, or quality time, which are the two, I feel like it's a game show. It's going to circle back. All right, let's start off with number one, gifts, right? So, oh, I absolutely love gifts, but it has to be like something you know that I really want it. If I just got a gift, like I got it. It was special and you'd been talking about it. Yeah, that's awesome. I love that.

That's great. You can love all of these, but there's two that you're like, oh, that really like, that makes you feel really good. Okay. Or cherished or loved by my girlfriend. All right. And then the second one was.

The acts of service. She thought about you. I had a time she did your laundry. She picked up your parents birthday present for you. I don't really. I got on the same way. Okay, words of affirmation. You are the best lover I've ever had.

You're so sexy. Look at those glasses. I love you. You're just amazing and talented. I guess I kind of like that as long as it's short. Because if it goes on, I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake.

I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake.

I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake.

I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake. I feel like it's fake. or you can often work if she just doesn't get up and give you a hug. Like, how do you feel about not having physical touch? Yeah, then I think that something is wrong. So I do. And then quality time, just pay to all those five. I know. I'm just, I'm just trying to rethink them all. I think I'm going to go with gift and physical touch would bring me the best.

OK. Yes. OK. That's interesting. And then you could think about it. No, that's, that means that of those things in your relationship. Yeah.

Right, that's what makes nothing. You don't need the other things. I do need the other things, but I'm, I literally wasn't even gonna go off and this whole thing, I was just gonna get to how much I appreciate you, but it's just, I love it. So out of all, no, I love this, though. I really wanted to think about the response.

So, I know you did. So you said, you said gifts and touch, okay. So I was thinking to myself, and then I read this book. I really wanted to think about the response. So I know you did. So you said gifts and touch. Okay, so I was thinking to myself, and I've read this book probably five or six years ago, and I probably don't talk about it enough, but I just feel like even for people in your life, it's helpful thinking about myself. So for me, can you guess what they are?

For you, oh, words of affirmation, definitely. And physical touch. Right. And physical touch. Right. I don't think you care about gifts. Not at all. Active kindness is cool, but I mean, you love talking and having discussions.

Exactly. And you know, you're all about physical touch, right? So you're absolutely right. Words of affirmation, physical touch. When I first heard this, I'm like done. If a guy just says, you're hot, or I think you're all about physical touch, right? So you're absolutely right. Words of affirmation, physical touch. When I first saw this, I'm like, done. If a guy just says, you're hot or I think you're amazing, you're smart and they're touching all the time, I'm happy, done.

It's like air. And so I think it's, but I typically, and so I think for a lot of times, it's just a different way to think about your relationship that you're in. If you're like, oh, you know what, we should, and there's like tests at Google, you could take tests online, we have the book on my website. But I was thinking to myself. What would make him happy? How can I show my appreciation and I was thinking that it was gifts? Uh-huh, but tequila wasn't working and I didn't have time to get you

And I was thinking of boards of affirmation All right, but also I wouldn't think that you'd really want to cuddle with me when you opt in I mean you might we do hold each other when you throw me around the office for a minute. Yeah so I just That's all that's it So you did this home and do it with your girlfriend and you throw me around the office for a minute. Yeah. So I just, that's all. That's it. So you did this home and do with your girlfriend and you should figure it out. Cause maybe there's a way the point is that couples oftentimes are like,

I keep telling her she's hot and then I love her and I keep buying her gifts and she doesn't care because he needs typically we give what we want love. So I might always be telling my partner, he's so amazing. And I might keep touching him and he's like, you have not spent one night with me alone on a Saturday night without your friends and I want quality time. So there's no way that me doing what I thought felt good was serving him because he's like, I just want you to, or I just want you to buy me gifts, you didn't buy me a birthday gift, whatever. So it's interesting because couples can miss the mark and it's an easy way to like heal it. So I was thinking about you and that just all the time and all the things you're doing and how much I love you.

Oh, thank you so much. It's so cool. I think, I'm gonna buy you a gift next time. Oh, awesome. No, I think the, I would try to think what my girlfriend would want out of that. I think I think you'd only want one. Well, this one should only be asked to be next.

Which one? Probably more words of affirmation, but the thing is I like, you know, we are both so overworked, I know that's not excuse, but I want the opportunity to be there where it comes off completely sincere, because that's what I worry about. Well, let me tell you this.

So I was thinking about you again, because I did a show with Dr. Drew months ago, and we actually listened to it. And it was a really popular show, and I, you know me, I never listened. Yeah. And I talked about you in that show, and I said, well, there's some guys like Menace who's

kind of like, I'm not explaining Menace, but he's always like, oh, if I tell her too much I'll hot she is, she's going to feel too confident. And I can't let women know how much I like them. And it's just going to be like, or it's going to seem fake like you always say, like lingerie just seems like a fake concept. Like you saw that in porn and so you wore something red. And he was laughing. He's like, yeah, I could see that as well.

So I was thinking that's why I did a big reason. He did not agree with you. He said he understood that point that men feel that way. And I thought, yeah, if I told him how great he was, maybe he doesn't sink in. So I had all these thoughts about you, men. Wow. I know. So what's your girlfriend? Because then you could go home and please her right now. Tell her how hot she is because you think that she's going to be like,

it's not sincere. But how about you walk in the door and you just think, when you see her, what are you feeling? I'm excited that she's home. What if you just told her that? Yeah, but I- Why did you keep home and you're like, I actually, I'm not your home every night, but when I, today I was driving home

and I was excited you were gonna be there. But I do display that she's. Do you tell her the words? If she's a word, do you, those words come out out your mouth because sometimes that's the other thing we think we're expressing you're like she knows like I don't need to get a my gift he has so many things you know what I'm saying but for but for her she went to like man never tells me these things and I need it she called me actually oh did you get highly doubt that I don't know I yeah I think verbally I can probably

express that more. I love this. Instead of physically. Good test. We could just end the show now. We've helped menace. Oh, thank you. And then, yeah, I think you could think about the other one.

I'll text these to you. All right. Yeah. So anyway, I've been thinking a lot about these things. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. What's going on with you in your life?

So many things. I've been dating, as you know. I think we've talked a bit on the apps, which was completely overwhelming. Yeah, yeah's awesome. What's going on with you? So many things I've been dating as you know, I think we've talked about that on the apps, which was completely overwhelming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I do it, maybe in real life. And I've been thinking a lot lately about, I actually recorded a show about cell phone technology and how they can carve intimacy, we get home,

we're on our phone, like if you're in a long-term relationship and you're in bed with your phones. And I just said, I'm not even in a relationship, and I'm so friggin' attached to my phone, so I'm trying to sleep at that outside the bedroom. I did a whole like 15 minutes on it. And so I was talking about again, I've been obsessed with this topic. So I'd go on a date with the guy last night that we had very good text banter beforehand. It's actually the first date that I've looked forward to because he gave great text.

Yeah, what you love? I love. You love riding. He was funny, thought I was hot, in a non-cheesy way. He was a sterical, but he picks me up, and we get to the restaurant and he's like, why don't we leave our cell phones in the car?

And I was like, first I felt terror. I was like, I can't be part of myself. He's like, I've never done this either, but I just thought, I think you better focus. Shit on that one. I am where he is. Wait, no, you said let's leave our phone. He did. He brought it up. He's like, I've never done this either, but I just thought, I think it's a little shit on that one. I am where he is. Wait, no, you said let's leave our friend.

He did. He brought it up and it's been, why? That's like, oh God. That's something he discussed with his friends. No, he's not, he's not like that. Like he's been, he's divorced. He hasn't gone out. A man is a man, Emily.

He was looking to show the show did not come out yet. Let's just say that. I know. And I thought to myself, that's exactly what I, and bought when I was faced with that. I said something you'd probably read in Cosmopolitan.

He's not like, he's made more of this picture to stand. He's like a man, like he's like, not really a Cosmo. He just thought, I'm always on my phone, and I would be he been thinking this too. And I thought, but when faced with it, I thought that's terrifying. What am I going to do when you go to the bathroom? I need to look at my phone.

Like I can't be, what if I have to snap something? And we left it in the car, and I did it. It was like a wonderful dinner without having the phone and we had a good time and I connected and I realized when it's not with you, I wasn't tempted to go to the bathroom and check it. Do you, yeah. So what happened from there though?

So yeah, you're like, fuck that. Okay. It was a good day. I liked him. He was TBD, I'm going to see him again, which is good. Most guys, I'm like out in like 50 minutes or less. That's good. Yeah.

And then you immediately grabbed your phone and then told everybody about it. Exactly. I tweeted at the shit out of it all. I'm like, well, I had to be gone for the last time. It's become second nature where you just grab your phone and you don't know why. You don't know why you're going on Facebook. You don't know why. There's no reason to go there.

Those hours get sucked out of your life, though. It does. Like, don't you ever just sit and stare at your phone like numbing Lee? I do. And then again, that's at night. I don't know why because I have television which I absolutely love.

I know. I find myself not watching television because I'm looking at a Facebook app that I opened 47, which I absolutely love. I know. Not by myself, not watching television, because I'm looking at a Facebook app that I opened 47,000 times, and there's nothing there that I don't want to see. Exactly, okay, so this is my thing. It's a drug. It's a drug.

And it's kind of a way of tuning out, and I'm almost like I'm saying, I'm too lazy, because I actually have a new TV, man, I've not watched TV ever. And I was really excited, I thought, well, I'll get the TV. I'll get like, the Sonos system. Have you been to my new house yet? No, I know what watched TV ever. And I was really excited. I thought, well, I'll get the TV. I don't like the sonosystem.

Have you been sent you in between my new house? Yeah. I know what it looks like. It's amazing. So, but all I'm doing is I get home and I'm on my phone and then like, yeah, like 86 minutes to go by whatever it is. And I'm like, I'm still on it. There's nothing happening.

There's nothing. It's almost harder to turn the remote on than it's lazy and it's numbing. So you guys, when you go home, do you guys do that together? Like, go for it. Do you guys sit and stare numbingly at Facebook? Uh, yeah, we do, but we both, we both have our laptops too, because we're both working at the same time.

Right. But we're sitting next to each other side by side. Maybe. We communicate. We text and you're next to each other on the news. No. We talk about pop culture. What's going on, you know, with the Kardashians and all that kind of crap. And then what's happening in the real news of the world and things like that. That's good. Then you're talking while you're on your computer. Yeah. Okay. Good. Because I go for an also, she works in, she works in radio, also she works in she works in radio

But she works in the digital side so she has to keep up with all the I think you guys are great I'm not trying to say things wrong with your relationship. I was just no I'm just saying like how do we communicate when we're at home with each other and like what we do and talk about and then we You know, Bindra watch stuff. I just want to sit on watch TV and like chill That's good, but so but I was this guy. Okay, whatever. And then we made out for a second. But I thought it was cute. But it wasn't like a it was like he was affectionate but not too much so. And he was cute. No, I know. It was like an early-ish night. But there was a connection. I'm going to go out with him again. Oh, that's good. But I don't want to get into it too much because

who knows? Because then you'll be like, how was that guy? I'm like, what guy? Like, next time I see you, you'll forget. But what I'm saying is things are good. We are, you know, I'm in a good place. I'm glad you're here on the office. And the shows have been great and we miss you. I'm excited to be here, speaking about technology. I feel like I don't even hear about Tinder anymore

or hear about Bumble. That's it. Which I support because, you know, you know, from what I understand from Bumble, it's all about the women making the first move. Exactly. What have I been talking, how long have we known each other now 12, 13 years? Yeah, long time.

What I have been saying since day one. What, that women? That I would love for women to initiate more. Initiate more because we've always talked about it. The guys can't pick up other signs. And she's just my friend. And she and to me, I don't know. And boom, there's an app where you know

that she has some kind of interest. Exactly. Which is. It takes so much pressure off the guy. It takes so much pressure. It takes so much wasted time away. Everything. I totally support it.

Too bad it wasn't available like years ago. When you said, I know, it's pretty cool. I have to say, but it also gets a little bit overwhelming. So anyways, I totally support it, I love it. So what's going on in the news? Because I haven't been keeping up with sex in the news. You haven't been keeping up with sex in the news. Well, this one I knew would be the most interesting for you

and me. The best and worst emojis to use on a dating app if you really want to hook up speaking of dating apps. Okay. About emojis in general, right? Well, yeah, it kind of talks about emojis in general, like which ones fail, which ones work for men and for women. I'm just saying using them at all when you're first having communicative.

Do you ever use emojis? Oh, I use emojis all the time, but it's with like, you know, people I know. But if I was having a conversation with somebody that I didn't know, then I definitely wouldn't use them. No, it's not like a first time thing. Like, here's a emoji, like, no, you have to know somebody. But when you're dating, it says, okay, so Clover is a Tinder alternative and it has a good rep for leading to quicker hookups. I don't know, Clover, and the higher profile dating app in an effort to help users polish their game. They published a breakdown as to which emojis are leading to the most,

the most and least responses sent when in early chat sessions, okay? So you can look at this, there's a graph here, we can put this on the website. So women, emojis women are applying to. And I didn't even know this sassy girl existed. This is what they applied to. The tongue, like I have never seen them talk. Women are rep seen women are replying. Yeah, we men said all these emojis

Yeah, but like I would never do okay, so it's interesting both men and women replied to the the Cino evil the monkey with the and then the most important thing it I think is what the one women aren't replying to their emojis women aren't applying to all right gas Yeah, which one is that? I can't say that. The eggplant, dude. The eggplant, even though it's, yes, the penis, unless you're totally joking about it, we're not responding to clapping. Your flexed biceps are fist bump.

And here's the thing. When I was a great bro. I had a visceral reaction. Whenever a guy fist bump me, I'm like, okay bro, dude, that's a least sexy. All the sexiness and all the hot inside, there's just rush out of my body at once. Don't like the fist bump. So here's what men are applying to,

which is hilarious. The Vulcan salute, when your fingers are like separated, the wedding ring, like I'm gonna send a guy a wedding ring, ever, okay. The crying face and poop, the little pile of poo. Why are we anyway ever sending that? So not sexy. So I thought it was interesting. And I also think, yeah, the popular signs, what they'd love to send and stuff.

And there's been all this research lately about how even businesses are using emojis, like in their marketing and stuff like that. So do you know this? Like putting them in the headline of your emails? Because I thought, I think that there has been a tipping point in emojis. Like I think that people didn't like them, they resisted, and now they're gonna become everything. And nobody, not only are we,

do we not talk anymore? We're no longer gonna even text. I think that everything can be said, like kind of the caveman going back to like the caveman, like the drawings and the wall. It's just hieroglyphics, thank you. We're just gonna be sending pictures. That's my prediction.

Oh, I think that's what's happening in Asia now It's mostly just all exactly don't we just follow Asia? Yeah, definitely well there the the On the forefront of that but the you can say so much just one symbol though I don't think there's enough see here's a thing I find emojis very limiting like I want to create my own emoji. I'm like why isn't there a goddamn emoji for like, you know, God, like get me a latte now or else, I'm gonna faint if I don't have caffeine. Or how about you're really sending mixed signals. I thought we had plans and you, you know.

I know you can send dominoes just an emoji and I would send you a pizza. That's amazing, but what if it's a wrong pizza? No, I don't know. It's like pretty set up for something. I'm trying to think of what I would send you, like a gift. Instead of a gift gift, I could send you like a just a gift. Yeah, I'm telling you that you're hot. Okay. So that's what's going on in the news. Is there anything else

in your news? Oh, I gave you a shout out the other day on the Woody show, which if you're listening in St. Louis, Missouri right now, please turn on all to 104 9 FM every morning, 6 to 10 AM, and then in Los Angeles, 5 AM to 10 AM on all to 98 7 FM, every single morning. And we're also a podcast, what we talk about news and stuff like that, not release that second. People like it, yeah, okay. But we do do a segment called Craigslist Freak of the Week.

So we read the most outlandish Craigslist ad every week. And one of them was about foot fetishes and then... You go to like the personals page or whatever the seek. Yeah, yeah. And every single one missing counter. And turn does that, you're not doing that. Or it's a group effort. So there is a lot of photos too.

But one of what came up was foot fetish, which we've talked about for a number of years. And then there was a discussion about like, why are people into that? Which is again, is another discussion that we've had here for years. Years, right? And you're obsessed with the topic.

I'm not that I'm obsessed with it. I've always tried to understand it. I just want like a direct answer And then so we have that discussion and then one of our podcaster listeners like weeks later sent us an email and said, Hey, I heard you guys talking about the foot fetish stuff. And she explained that her professor in whatever course she was taking. Sex 101 or something. Yeah. Said that the reason that guys are into feet is because of the shoes. And they put their feet in the shoe and it reminds them of insertion, right?

And I was like, yeah, but it doesn't make sense. Now, first of all, there's not one answer for why someone has a fetish. And it doesn't make sense to me because it seems like all the people, like the visual aspects of it, there's not really that many shoes involved. Like the people are into it. The people are into it, yes, they'll buy shoes for somebody

or something like that, but they want the bare feet. So I didn't like get that. I don't get that either. Why don't we go to school? Like the where she was school, it doesn't matter. That's not what I would say. I mean, a lot of it does start from early childhood things like around if you saw a foot in the sexual manner.

Like if you, maybe you did see a foot going into a shoe and then you forever fetishize shoes, or maybe like when you were kid, like, you know, you your high school teacher had, you know, you just remember, like, looking at her feet or maybe you had a rot experience with the feet. But this is, you can link it. You link it. You saying that I just like, I just beg and pray one day that we get an email.

Well, that is what I answer for a sex. That breaks it down. But what, what's it make for them? Like what makes it sexy? Right. But so okay, if you have, let me tell you something, there's a lot of different reasons. So what you're asking for specifically, and typically this works, email us, you can email us right for the website, ask Emily, if you do a foot fetish, like what is your, how, how did it start for you? What do you, what's your, what do you first recognize it? Right. What do you think, you think is sexy about it?

Yeah, because we have covered a lot, but I think it's different for everybody. I'm trying to pinpoint it. I'm trying to pinpoint it. We're going to get it. Go to our website and email them. I'm trying to. I'm trying to. I want to help you here.

Study. Okay, I love it. Okay, let's take a quick break and give a shout out to our sponsors. And we love you, everyone. Thank you for supporting our sponsors. You know, I never talk about things that I don't believe in and products I haven't used and inserted, if you will. And so thanks for supporting them.

We'll be right back with your emails. Okay, so now we're onto your emails. Thank you everybody for emailing me. And it's so easy you go to sexwithamlee.com, click on the ask Emily tab, fill out the form and you submit it. That's it. We're also doing call shows, menace.

I want you to come in. We were doing call shows and they're really fun. We set them up. Like a ton of listeners are emailing and now they can check that box that says, yes, I would like to be called for the show and I would like we've been setting it up and it's fun and you get into it. I think you'd have a good time here.

I'd love to do that. And I feel like I can really help people when we get into the issues. It's a good time. But you can also, and also not but, but means you're just counting the next thing you say. And you can also send us an email. We love that too. And include your age where you live and how you listen to the show. Because men and women get mad if you don't. Hey, Emily, I'd be with my amazing boyfriend for 10 months.

And the sex is fantastic. Best sex of my life, and he feels the same. We're so in tune. We both love to encourage each other to learn about what we like and try new things. He's also 30 and while I'm coming out of a marriage, separated a year ago, I met my new boyfriend a couple months after that. He's never had a relationship this long. He hasn't had any relationship at all for a few years. He's dated, had a few three to six month relationships and took a year off from dating altogether. We have great sex life. It's fun.

We do sex. We do sexy snap chats. It's always fantastic. And I found out that basically, since we started dating, he hasn't masturbated. And he says it's because he is so satisfied. I explode my own pleasure after you get married that wasn't sex positive. So like masturbation is important and not our placements. So I'm wondering why doesn't he do it anymore? Should he I'm open about me time I'm positive and I don't think he'd be embarrassed about our lies

So like why is he doing it? Thanks love you love your show Christine age 30 There's nothing wrong with that exactly completely honest. He's telling you. Yeah, that's why okay I'm not gonna be sexist here, but right. Sure. What a man tells you something. Why do you have to think that he's telling you five different things? Exactly, but here's what he's telling you directly what is going on. Believe him. There is not a problem you don't have to fix it. Like if it's not broken, don't fix it. However, what my first thought was Christine,ey, you've been listening to the show, and I talk a ton about the importance of masturbation, and that whether in a relationship or your odd relationship, it is healthy. The

truth is, it is healthy to masturbate. But mostly, it's because men need that release, women need that release. But if he's releasing with you and you're having great sex, it's fine. There's no problem. And so the reason I talk about it is yes, it's healthy. You know, it helps have a stronger pelvic floor. It helps prevent, can help prevent prostate cancer. It can help with erectile dysfunction. All those things. But he's not having any of those problems, Christine.

And so like, the haps and flows eventually I'm asked to wait again. Don't worry about it. It's fine. Like I feel like, so I think that's what it might be because she's here, is it so important, which it is. And it's such a new relationship eventually after you're together for a couple of years. Don't worry, he'll start massive.

Only a couple of years. Ten months. Yeah, do you give it like, give it about the honeymoon phase is 12 months to 18 months. So, sweetie, in six months, they're going to be eight months, they're going to be like, why is it so much more? Well, it's funny because we often hear people are confused by the part in Massabites. That's why I love my show. I love the show.

You cover that, everybody. Hi, Emily. My name is Kylie. I'm from Michigan and I'm 23 years old. I love listening to your podcasts, and I've learned so much. I love when you've guests on there that can offer different reviews or opinions on things,

especially since everyone comes from different walks of life, like men and women's opinions. I have a two-part question. I've been friends with my current boyfriend for seven years now and we finally started dating in November. Our sex life is amazing except for one thing. Uh-oh. Always a butt. There's always a butt.

I know it sounds a little ridiculous, but I can't fit his penis in my mouth. Oh no, I heard about this. Yeah, he has a lot of girth and I have a smaller mouth. It's a bad combo. I was wondering if there's anything I can do as far as blow jobs go that isn't going to give me lock job. That would still allow me to give him head. The second part of my question is, what can we do in the bedroom besides a hand job that

I can pleasure and wisdom to blow job? Isn't working out. Thanks. Keep up the great work. Highly. A lot of men are going, yeah. A lot of men are going, yeah. I wish I had that them are going to be, yeah, we should have that problem. No, you guys, I'm telling you, big or small, there's challenges.

So, Kylie, here's the thing. You, I love this question because, first of all, I want almond to know, like, yes, you can be too big. That does exist on a planet, but here's a few tips. You can just, first of all, relax. Because your throat is going to work when you relax and you breathe. breathe so I think it's like anal sex and people tense up too much I just hit up their sphincter muscles when it's going in and hurts The same thing is true with most sex acts, but especially blow jobs

So if you're breathing you relax You know concentrate on what you're doing But like not and like a super it's not gonna fit. It's gonna hurt You're probably clenching your jaw, but also make sure he's lying in his back And you're like in a control position leaning over his pants. Like you're in control, you can get on your knees and that way you can control like the depth and all that. But here's the thing. Here's my number one most important tip that is going to change your life. Your hands, like your hands are like the best tools you

have because a blowchap is not all about the mouth. It's really not. And the hands create that suction and they create that, like you can stroke all the hot and nerve endings and stuff, not replacing it. So you do the whole thing where your mouth goes over the tip and it's like a tube, right? Okay, so she creates like the,

her mouth goes around the tip. And then it's like a tube where the penis and she synchronizes it. You've seen that in porn going up and down up and down So if you're using a ton of lube and your hands are like tight enough and you're sweeping it up and down like It's gonna feel amazing you rub his frein elum, which is like that thin little ridge. I don't need the tip and like you You know the underside of his penis, which is super sensitive. You can play with his perineum Minus like that the perineum perineum the taint play with his perineum. Am I just like that? The perineum. Parameum. The taint. Play with it all day.

Yeah, so like I think as long as you use your hands, you use lots of lube, which is really important, you could lick his balls. These are all these fun things you could do with your free hand. So one hand is, so do you know what I'm saying? Like I'm trying to explain this, you put a two with one hand,

and it'll go around and all the way up there. So it's a two, we're on your lips. Uh huh. And then this, and the hand can make it tight enough. So he's not gonna be like, why is your mouth makes sense. And the hand can make it tight enough, so he's not going to be like, why is your mouth going on my penis? You have all the areas covered. Yeah, totally.

And then the other free hand. Yeah, but the other free hand, I have this ball, right? On the tip, yeah. So that's any other tips, minus? Because I know you struggle with this all the time with your girlfriend. Oh, yeah, yeah. Call me about that as well.

Yeah, not enough room. I don't know. I mean, is there any, let's think about what else you might do? Is there any like demonstrations online for I can think of? I have an image, well. Kind of, sort of maybe as a summary.com.

Porn too would be. But it's like, it's really about, because the blow jobs is important for it to be wet, for it to be enough friction and enough. Yeah. What about your blow jobs, for a that you're addicted to? Oh my God, dude, Lou and enough. Yeah. What about your blow jobs spray that you're addicted to? Oh my god, dude, lube and blow jobs spray. So here's the thing, it's right here.

Whenever I do the show, I use this, it's by Doc Johnson, it's called Wet Head and it's a dry mouth spray. So it'll help your lips, your mouth glide over the penis and I use it because I think it helps me on the show, be like not have that annoying, like crackling. You like use it all the time now.

I used to do a good luck thing before the show. And maybe I'll run into a penis or something. And I'll be ready to go at any time. Okay, so what did I answer questions? I answered both questions, right? What else to do in the bedroom? I think you just gotta work on the blowjob because you're killing it and he's gonna be happy

and don't feel like you are doing anything wrong. You just have to add the hands. Okay. Hi, Emily. I'm Benjamin from Australia. I'm 42. I love the show and I've been listening for several years. I was emically separated from my wife for 16 years, last April, after we'd finally made it, we weren't right for each other. Admittedly, I'd strayed a couple times while traveling internationally to work. Of course. Or work. That's when a lot of my strain would happen. When I was a reform cheater.

Yes, because you're like, it doesn't matter. Like, I'm in Hong Kong, but it does matter. Oh, man, we had this caller. He was 23 and his girlfriend was going on a European vacation. And he wanted to know if he should propose before after the vacation and we're like dude, dude, two things. Are you just doing this because you're afraid that she's going to go do something and you're trying to use it as some insurance, maybe she won't do anything.

And he's like, oh no, I totally trust him. 23. Yeah, I go, I have never met any woman in my, that were in their 20s, that one on a European vacation, that didn't hook up with somebody. Exactly. I'm sorry. I'm not here to put it in your head,

but I just know for a fact. And she's going with one of her female friends. They're gonna talk to themselves into it. They're going in like four different areas. That's all about hooking up with guys from different countries and then they're gonna go, oh, you're gonna switch to Atlanta. I'm gonna Germany, see you never.

Like that's what you do on those trips. So yeah, and then what? Then you tell them, don't do it. Cause guys are pissed on the territory. Like that, he's trying to be like, all of I lock her down, she won't cheat. Yeah, and I said, look. And I said, I go, I go, how lame is that too,

that if you propose to your girlfriend, and then she's like gone for a week, like right after that, like wouldn't, wouldn't that be a time that you would want to go on a trip together, you know, to celebrate and stuff like that? I said, you know what, just if you, if this is something you absolutely want to do, then you should wait until after. I agree. You know.

It's good. So hopefully we'll listen to your sage advice. Hopefully. Okay, but where were we? Okay, so he strayed. Yeah. And he was having to fare, let's say, let me go back to this. He strayed because he was traveling internationally for work and he found out two years ago that she'd been secretly playing around fairly heavily for the previous 12 months, meeting guys from an online adult states.

I had no idea. And I was shocked. After that, we tried to make it work, but it was clear we won different things. As soon as we separated, I jumped right in the dating scene. This isn't meant to sound boastful, but I was amazed at the attention I received. I'd quickly build up multiple casual partners, went to a few swinger parties with some of them, and had an awesome time taking off those fantasy bucket list items.

Three sums, outdoor sex, ridiculous Montoirgasms. Additionally, I loved developing a connection with each of them, and filling in many of the emotionally gaps I was craving during marriage. But it soon got out of hand. At one point, there was something like 15 women I was talking to and meeting on a regular basis. I'm embarrassed to say that I even created a spreadsheet to help me track how long it been since I'd met each of them

and how we sort through who I should get you seeing. Several of them, this is like a whole, there's so much here. Several of them asked me to become exclusive and I felt it was way too soon after a long relationship. So here's the bottom line, here's the, here's this question. Yeah. Dear Miss Emily, how do I settle down

after enjoying such carefree casual fun? How long should I, in quote, avoid getting into another relationship? Love everything you're doing. Delightful to see you on Instagram. Thanks for reading. Ben. All right.

This is like another one of those, like what should I do? Is it okay? Here's the thing, like the Mastery. Dude, it's up to you. Don't be pressured that you don't need to ever settle down again. Don't.

Or if you don't want to. But if you're doing 15 women and you're becoming overwhelmed, I think that, okay, so I went through phases, never 15, although I get wanting a spreadsheet just for the people I'm connected with. Did you do anything track? Like, I've had those thoughts if I liked Excel, but I hate spreadsheet, they get me anxiety,

but it's a good thing. I totally get it. However, if these girls are asking you, you, first of all, you never want to be pressured into a relationship. So, if you're not ready, like, keep having fun, but it sounds to me like maybe you're getting to the point where it could be slightly overwhelming and then you'll know and you're like, you know what? There's a lot of these women, it's hard to remember who I told this story to because that

would be my thing when I was dating multiple guys. I'd be like, you know,? There's a lot of these women, it's hard to remember who I told this story to because that would be my thing when I was dating multiple guys. I'd be like, you know, I told you that story about what happened when I hit the gate at work, it's like, night in. Like, okay, who would I tell this to? So, think among other things that are problematic. So I just think like don't pressure yourself whenever you're ready, you were in a long-term relationship

for how long, 16 years. You might have another year too. You'll find somebody. Yeah, don't trip on it. I'm not gonna give you a time I'm not gonna say anything and just as long as you're honest with these women and you let them know like you know what? I'm so flattered. I I love spending time with you, but right now I just really need space to kind of figure out myself on what I want and be honest with them But you're not doing it wrong. No, no, you're fine. Do you then? Okay?

That's what we've got time for, I think. Oh, man. It was such a great time. It was such a great time seeing you. It was such a great time. It was such a good time seeing you. It's been too long. I'm happy to be here with you. I'm happy that you're with me as well. And I miss you and everyone can check out menace at menace and all your dissat menace. That's it. Everything. And like, follow me. And like, and like, and like, Toads, man, I'm on Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, Facebook, it's all sex with Emily, shop at our store.

It's a really good time. We've all the things I talk about on the show. And then what else did I want to tell people about anything else? Can I say one thing? Yeah, there was something. Yeah. I know, you know, some people in the podcast world,

they don't, they didn't like it for some reason. I don't know why. They did. But I know the general public, some people in the podcast world, they don't, they didn't like it for some reason. I don't know why, but I know the general public, it was huge, but I want to say a big thank you to Finding Richard Sidman's The Podcast series that came out because I think that really Opened the door for people that weren't into podcasting to like really check it out and see what podcast was. I thought it was the second zero one that got going to podcast. It was the finding that that was for hipsters. This is like there has been a tipping point in podcast as well.

I think this is for like the mainstream general public that really opened the doors for, you know, getting more people to listen to podcasts and understand how to even get a podcast on their phone or on the computer. Right. So it was I think it's like there's like a barrier to entry with the analogy. Like, oh, I've been thinking about it. Like, they're like, I've been thinking about like learning to swim. Yeah.

It's on the list. But I'm trying to get into podcasts. That's how people answer. I'm like, dude, there's an app on your phone. It's super easy. And you search for anything. It's free. You don't.

Of course, the people that are listening to this. You guys know. But the other thing I'm glad you brought that up. Yeah. We've done with your thoughts. No, I was just gonna say, I don't know anybody that was involved with that podcast, but I thought it was great. And I just wanna say thank you.

I wanna thank everybody. It's broadcasting out there. Is the last, yeah, no, totally. I've heard a few shows, but also, Matt, it's what you don't know. What I forgot to tell you is that in the last month and a half, two months, we've had more listeners. Our listeners should put up like 40%, 30% just in the last few months.

So we've all these new listeners, they have no idea who you are. It's great. Welcome back. You didn't go back. Maybe you didn't go back and been on 5,000 episodes. And so welcome to the Sex Family Family. I love it. It's all over the world.

It's amazing. So please email us with your questions and yeah, dude, family's growing. Love it. I love it. You're calling you, dude. Bruns's growing. Love it. I love it. I love it. Love it. I love it.

Love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. you