Sex With Emily - Best Of: Roleplay, Foreplay & Premature Choking

Episode Date: June 27, 2018

On today's throwback show, Emily is joined by the hilarious ladies of the Wild Horses improv team – along with Menace – to talk about tales of masturbation past, dating, and fantasies. Mary, Lauren, Erin and Stephanie talk about their L.A. dating experiences, the comedy scene, and the worst parts of porn. Plus they tell some of their deepest desires, help Emily answer an email on body insecurities, and even have a live Harry Potter role-play! Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Aaptiv, Adam & Eve, Magic Wand. Follow Emily on social: @sexwithemily Follow the Wild Horses: @WildHorsesShow Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Today's show I'm joined by the four talented members of the Wild Horses Improv Troop for another tell-all female roundtable. We'll be eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on day. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got everything. Oh my!

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, though? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so dumb. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com.

You got that right. Anything and everything in between. Anything and everything in between. It doesn't matter. We do it. Oh, and thank you everyone for subscribing on iTunes. It's so easy. You subscribe.

There's a great little button on our site because we do two shows a week and you'll ever miss it. And and minus loves when you review the show. Yeah, if you I've seen I've seen there's a significant amount of I ask I ask for the work where you ask men. Yeah, please I because I guilt tripped them. I go look you don't have to you don't have to pay a dime for the show. Nothing. It's free content. All you gotta do is do us a favor, and go to iTunes and click that review button. And give your honest review. Emily would love for you just to give us five stars and say how much you love it.

What's up with you, thank you. I'm used to getting beat up and people hating me, so don't even worry about it. Also, it's not just there on iTunes, anywhere you listen or how you listen to the podcast, please just put a little comment. You're right, that really does help. Put a comment, tell your friends.

If you're like, hey, I learned something, tell your friends, it just helps. Cause I really wanna do the show forever, which my whole dream was always to find what I wanna do forever. And I think I haven't talked to menist about this yet. But I'd like to go back to doing it a few more days a week.

Oh, really? Well, right now we do too. And I'd like to go back to doing it a few more days a week. Oh, really? Well, right now would you two? Uh-huh. And I'd like to do it 10 days a week. Well, you're building your own sex with Emily Kompound and putting you off as a- Yeah, putting a whole studio together so you can do that. I don't see why you can't do that. Yeah, I think it will.

So thanks everyone for that. And also for following us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and now Snapchat. It's all at sex with Emily across the board. Wow. And subscribe to our newsletter. And you're getting addicted to Snapchat, which is great. I had a moment where I knew it's so funny, though, because we're with my nieces, I've been like, wait, show me, I don't get it. They're like, oh, and I mean, they love me, but I was like, they've been out of forever.

And then I started watching yours. I'm like, this is really cool. And it does, they don't really give you instructions. And then everyone, if you're on such a, you know this. But then I took a few minutes the other day and I focused, which is really hard. But when I do amazing things happen, I'm like, I get it. It's genius. It's so fun. So you can just check out what's going on.

It's cool. It's really going on. Yeah. And then people they heard, you mentioned that the Snapchat that I run is for the morning show that I'm part of called the Woody show. And it's mostly like food and are like. you mentioned that the Snapchat that I run is for the Borning Show that I'm part of called the Woody Show. And it's mostly like food or like events. It's funny, the events that we go to. Sure, I love it. And then also the Woody Show is a podcast.

We podcasts every day. It's about pop culture and news and stuff like that. It's not, there's barely any sex stuff in there. So if you're looking at this, this is where you can see. If you're looking for a podcast, then that's the big two. That is not it.

No, but it's a funny show, and everyone loves it and loves you, and it's awesome. So check that out for Woody's show. And also, I'm going to San Francisco next week. Oh, what? Yeah, I'm taking a class. Oh my God.

I knew you. To put San Francisco and a class together. Fuck, what is it? It's not Electricuted on your nipples what? Well, maybe on my date, but not that no it's how are you going there for penis because you're single? No, no Oh, what dude if I want penis. It's for sure in LA. Okay, I was there long enough. I was with every penis in San Francisco There are many. Yeah, It's a very small town.

Small city. With small penis is just kidding. Members of Celeste and Danielle, who were on the show, Celeste and did the sex part. So they do this thing called, they were on and they were like, come to our somatic training. And somatic is a type of therapy. And it's actually over six month period.

I'm going to go every other week, once a month for five days. And I'm going to learn and it's like a therapy technique where I can really help myself help with a listener. It's about attachment, how we attach to each other, how to really understand what you want. It's actually from a partner, how to talk about it. I mean, a lot of things I talk about, but I think in life, you always have to be, you

know, learning and educating yourself more so you can always keep growing in your career. And- Wait, so you're going to be once a month back in San Francisco for five days? Yeah, like a long weekend. It's like Thursday to Monday, but I'm really excited because I haven't really done anything since my sex school, and I love learning it. What ex-boyfriend are you gonna stay with

in these five days? You're gonna be like tapped out like they're married or a week. Oh, a week. Although, you know, it's funny and ex-dits circle back last night. He's like, out of the blue, you must have known. He's like, when you get back, I miss you. The well must be dry.

The well is dry. Yeah, exactly. You just got to horse. Oh yeah. I don't know. I am sleeping at my ex's house, but he's gonna be out of town. I knew it. He's not gonna be out of town every single time.

He's, but this time he is. Yeah, I know, but. That's why I'm staying. Oh, then eventually you're gonna have sex though. I miss so many friends. No, you know what, he's a girlfriend. But, You're sleeping at his house for five days. It's fine.

Every month. Yeah. You're gonna go down on him, like, on the second. He has a really nice penis. I have to say his penis is spectacular. But that's not why I'm so friends with them. Because obviously I don't get to see the penis. So also, I just need to welcome everyone.

Welcome to masturbation month. It's my favorite time of year. Love it. People say that about Christmas and stuff, but I love masturbation month because we've got so many great things planned. We've got blogs, show topics that are really gonna take your masturbation to the next level,

because it's not just about your solo time. It's about mutual masturbation, how to get more orgasms, how to get more pleasure, really, and how to understand your body. We're doing giveaways. We're doing a get tight for some or give away. And this is a contest to encourage pelvic floor health because you know that I am obsessed with pelvic floor health.

It's important for men and for women. So just take out the website for more details. Because we're doing contest. We're doing a few of them. But we want to know how you self-love tell us your masturbation routine, lighting candles, you know porn, do you have like a sex solo sex playlist, like I want to know how you do it, like how you know, like for women, like some women have their little like they have to be on their stomach or back, or they use this toy or that toy. Men, I don't know what you guys do, You sit in front of your laptop with your pants, down to your knees.

It's all different. I wanna know what you guys do. So email me and we've got some masturbation friendly prizes and you know I've got to get stuff. Cool. Yeah. And then recently we did a podcast, which was probably one of my favorites,

the Drinking with Emily podcast. Turns out it's called, did you see what we call, Drinking with Emily turns out, turn on's, turn off's, and tequila. All right. So we did our drinking show at the house. Men's night, we finally had it. We would talk about it for years.

My apartment, the whole team was there. The whole section of the family team. And it was a hilarious show. No editing. No limits. Yeah. That was fun. It's very open.

I know. It's very open. Because I think a couple of your staff hate me. No. And then saw how to tell them. They don't hate you. They thought that maybe you, they tell them all. They don't hate you, they were afraid, they thought that maybe you, they didn't understand, they don't know you because you come in,

we do the show and you leave. And I'm like, no, menace is a bomb. I love menace, and we hadn't hung out in part even a long time. So I, it was just, I felt like family and I loved it. And they didn't hate you, they just, ooh, menace. Because you give off that thing. What, and I explained it.

Yes, we all explained it. Now we're all in love with you. We want to have a do it every week. Every week. I explain it? Yes, we all explained it. Now we're all in love with you. We want to have a do it every week. Every week. I don't know if I can handle it. It was a little much. I'm glad you stayed out as late as you did.

I know. It was way past my bedtime. The food was good. Okay, there's a study minus six in the news. Three out of four women would choose a man with love handles over a man with six pack abs. I thought you'd like. I love it. Six packed guys are almost every lady's fantasy, right?

Wrong. No, but the quote. It's funny that you say this. I know some of the hottest women ever and they love it a doly guy over a six pack guy. I think that that's very, very. But I want to see her the reason. There's reasons.

You're gonna love this. The question still stands though, why do women like the six pack? What makes women fall for a guy because of it? Turns out it's just in our minds. In a real world, in the real world, a recent study revealed that three and four women would choose a man with love handles over one sporting a six pack. The woman claimed, when it comes to real life, we don't want chiseled perfection in our bed.

So why don't they want a hot buff perfect man? No, weird. Do you know why? Why? The sad answer is we're worried we won't shape up. 74% of women in the survey said they'd feel self-conscious taking their clothes off of one of a perfectly toned man. We feel far more comfortable with flab

because it's less threatening. And women, we are under so much pressure to look a certain way and to be a certain way and to be certain, you know, and we're so worried about things that having guys not like, you know, doing the sick fact sit up all the time, take some of that pressure off of us. And this is kind of funny though, I love to meet a female who sex life isn't affected by a fat day and I've yet to meet a man who is letting fat stop them from having sex. Yeah. And you for you

Have said you've had a fed day where you ate too much and didn't feel like having sex. Oh, yeah all the time That's after like being in Vegas being Vegas at like a buffet and things like that right Which you find very attractive and sexy, but no way it's funny because I forget Chris Pratt go back for seconds Chris Pat the actor he's married to On a Ferris. Thank you And she said because Chris Pratt he fluctuates from when he's like super in shape for some movies And then he's doing other movies and she said that she prefers him A doey over super fit and the same guy

Jim from the office. Sorry. I'm really bad the same guy, Jim from the office, sorry I'm really bad with names, but Jim from the office. I don't even watch TV. Yeah, he just recently got in shape and his wife Emily Blunt liked him the other way versus being super in shape. So, maybe they are saying that for the media,

but it makes me feel good and I support it. I thought you'd like that. Thank you. I want to introduce I thought you'd like that. Thank you. I want to introduce the Wild Horses Women. Wild Horses troop, amazing talent. Troop works are fun. It all female long form improv show in LA. Please.

Why do you say you're making a special hour? What are we doing? I'm not saying you're all super talented on your own right. Comedians, actors, improv, and then I met you. Well, Laura and I first met you at Bangering. Yeah. That was amazing. I'm Friday night, every Friday night or one Friday night.

We do a show every Friday night at UCB in LA. And you came and answered to sex questions from the audience. And it was so fun. And everyone, I mean, it was really great to see people open up in the audience and raise their hand and be like, I keep dating someone. I want to choke me. who wants to choke me. You were like, yeah.

I love the format and the same thing for the world. Of course, we came on, we talked about sex, and then they do improv. So everything we've talked about, they do improv after it. And I'm just in awe because they're so amazingly talented. And I actually went to my improv class that I set up for. I got one of the D and improv class that I set up for. Oh, I got like a D in improv. They made me take it. No, when I went to film school,

they made me take it. That was terrible. That's a good thing. I think it's like the best training for really, well, it's essentially in this business, but for anything, right? Just for comfort. Definitely.

So, okay, so let's go around. You guys just introduce yourselves, tell your name, what you do, and how often you masturbate. You're comforting me. Wow. Because we're spragging it're talking about that. Oh, wow. Because we're breaking a dead end. Oh my god.

I, no, I'm not comfortable. I have to go. Nastribate. No, we just want to. I don't know. I have to leave. I'm going to leave. My name is Mary Holland, and I'm, what else was I supposed to do?

What do you want from a masturbate? What do you do? What do I do? What do I do? We'll be giving out all of your contact, and it'll also be in our site, but you're welcome to throw out your Twitter or whatever you want. Okay, great. My Twitter is at M. Holland, 85.

I am an actor and comedian. I have a performance, a bright citizen's brigade every week. And I would say that I masturbate daily, probably. Oh, nice. Yes, I would. Wow, nice. Okay. I masturbate daily, probably. Yes, probably. That's nice. That's nice.

I'm so excited about this. Do you guys have to learn more each other? I know, it's interesting. My name is Lauren Lapkiss. I basically also do all the same things as Mary. I'm an actor and comedian, and you can find me at Lauren Lapkiss on Twitter. And I would say I masturbate a couple times a week. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's big in the eyes. And I would say I masturbate a couple times a week.

Yeah. Yeah. It's big and nice. Hi, I'm Erin Whitehead. I am also an actress writer, comedian. And I go through spurts where I could not go for like six to eight months, and then I'll go daily for a couple weeks, but then I'll just drop off again.

Yeah. Yeah. I hear you. Yeah. Um, that's great. Um, Stephanie Allen, my Twitter is at Steph Allen and I'm also an actor and comedian at UCB. And I also masturbate. I would say a few times, maybe like four or five times a week. I would say maybe like four or five times a week. Okay, let's get comfortable here. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, be honest with you. So my job is to masturbate. I get 25 pounds of sex toys delivered to my office a week. I just need to. And I think it's become a crassnator. Maybe I've been putting it off, I think, because I'm like, I have so many toys and I'm overwhelmed. No, but I typically would be able to go on phases. So sometimes I'll do it every day. But

lately, I feel like the last two months it just been I think I need to more because I've been stressed out but I would say it's been like once a week but that although I'm phased words like twice a day or like I don't leave my house on a Saturday you know so I can't do anything done I can't get anything done exactly I mean so you know like I'm asking like I'm taking notes and it's work but yeah I'm gonna do it more though. Now, that we're talking about it. Maybe two good bags. You can always ask everyone that one.

I wanna know. Have you guys done that now? What are you menace? What are menace to be do? You don't watch porn, I'm not gonna do it. No, I don't watch any porn. And the French bulldog is always around looking at me. You wanna get over that?

Do you wanna have to describe the dogs or do dogs that you worry about watching you sex? I don't really care about animals watching, but if if they're just staring I feel like that is weird. It is. It's not in the room. She'd never stop staring at me constantly. I'm kind of strainer to leave the room. Then she cries in a feel bad.

She's still a new puppy. I feel guilty if I'm asking next to my cat in that like she's just lying there. I feel like you don't know what I'm doing. It's weird. Or she's just laying there. I feel like you don't know what I'm doing. It's weird. Of course she's done. I know. Yeah, again, the moment. Okay, so tell me about like wild horses. How did you all be?

So you've all been doing stand up? Yeah, you see me? Or are you doing improv? Tell me. Tell me. We all knew each other from different stuff. We were in a book club together and And I think that's kind of where we started to get to know each other better. But we started hanging out more like just as a for some. And then we went to, I got invited to do an improv festival

that was all female. And so I put together this team because I didn't have a female team. And I was like, who do I want to travel with? So I picked the more fun people that I knew. And then we ended up having good shows. So we come performing together. How long have you guys been doing it?

I've been doing it A couple of years. Yeah, I was like three years. Two or three years? Yeah, two or three, yeah. And how do you think, how is improv help your everyday life? Do you say? I think improv, well, it really trains you to be in the moment and listening is so important in improv.

So I think that it just, it keeps you, keeps you present and keeps you in the moment I find in life. Well, it really helps my mind. It really strengthens my relationships too, I think, because I am so, I am the improv, yeah, it trains you to just listen and be curious more. And so I feel like I'm much more engaged in my relationships. Yeah, it makes sense.

And it seems so common for people to need to control something or have something tight or go a certain way or get in their head. It goes this, this, this, and this. In every capacity in different areas and it's like, this, this, and this, in every capacity in different areas, and it's like an improperly, that will ruin the scene. That will ruin everything. And so then, and I feel like I see that in life too, it's like, oh, you gotta just, this

is how your wedding's going, so go with it. Exactly. You're more likely to go with the flow because life is not neat, like, it's messy, like things never go the way you're supposed to. So that's what I like about it, because it's thinking that it has to go perfect and memorize all the lines and stuff for you guys, but just the way your minds work neat, like, it's messy. Like, they never go the way you're supposed to. So that's what I like about it. Because the thinking that it has to go perfect and memorize all the lines and stuff for you guys are, but just the way your minds work too,

it's brilliant. You have to go see the, the, the, the, the, imbra, like, I was just, I'm like, I was always fun. It's always fun, but it was like, but they're you, you were also just very, very talented. So everyone should check it out.

And, um, I'm telling you, I'm sure you guys judged Im judged improv way more than I would. Right? And since you do it, you will go this sucks. I think we'll do it. I'm usually just an audience member who's had a lot to drink. So I think everything's hilarious.

You're that guy. I do. But I'm definitely not going to be heckling you, but I wouldn't judge you as as much. Yeah, that's nice. Are you in relationships? Yes, I am Magic or a divorce. Okay. I am so Okay, so not in a relationship transition I am not in a relationship. Okay, And I am recently married. Oh, congratulations. Thank you.

So what about being a so you've been single in LA? What do you good to think about dating in LA? How do you make people? I find it very hard. I feel like I tried OKCupid, and I tried Eharmonia. I tried all that stuff. I didn't know that you did that. I didn't, you know e-harmony. I tried all that stuff Well, it was you know, I've been with my boyfriend for five years now So I know I just I just know

I can't lose five I know me either So this was before This was before that and I would? I think I really started to meet people and have an easier time of it when I started taking improv classes and fell into a community of people with similar interests. That made it a little bit easier, but before that it just felt like impossible. Is it because you feel more confident and easier to talk to people? Is that why?

Because your skills are used to how to keep me that made you a kind of both. I think the community also, yeah, fine. I was getting more confident because I was doing something that I liked to do and I was having a fun time doing it. But also, it just was easier to meet people because people in your class would have a birthday party

and you'd meet people through friends versus, like, I'll just go to a bar and hope to meet somebody. You know, it's always tough. Exactly, because you can see us every day or questions, you're like, how do we eat some on it? And never do it. It's like, leave your house.

Do something that interests you. Take a class, do something. So that's a perfect example. What about dating? Like, have you lived here a while and dated and done all that stuff? Well, it's weird because I, before I got married, I dated a lot in the improv community too. But like, that was, to me, I was like, are we just hanging out? And when, I never felt like I went on a date or we were dating.

But then I was with someone and I was like, what is this? It felt like teenagers hanging out at houses and having very casual, hooking up whenever we felt like it. There wasn't really anything that was like, what I was looking for at all. That's exactly what you're dating now. So you summed it up.

People, I feel like there's not a lot of commitment happening right away. There's a lot of hanging out. There's like not a lot of labels. Yeah. Everyone, let's not put a label on it. So knowing and we sit in San Francisco years ago, we started the show. And now it's just like, that is the way now. I was like, how do I ever guide?

Never asked you out. Like me, meet up with my friends. But now it's like, no one's even looking for it seems that way. Yeah, I've heard from my single friends that it's like super hard in LA more than other cities that they've lived and that people Just really don't want to commit or like go out again like it's just very vague like a lot of the ghosting or Ghosting, oh yeah, yeah, but I feel like that too like on the other end of it where it's like well, I have this Tomorrow and then I have that so Here are the days I'm free at 11 p.m. And then oh that doesn't work for me. All right, I'll check back in a month

Everyone is so you're right everyone so busy and it is hard to pin it down But I guess you know you also five people when you're at the right time when someone else is because to say that It's the everyone thinks they live in the worst town I would get percent just go without and you when you're at the right time when someone else is because to say that it's the everyone thinks they live in the worst town I would get just go without a new York LA. I think everyone when you're seeing like it's just hard But I think you know if you're out there and you're meeting you know, you do meet people. I mean I I don't know. I think it's all dating is just true. I mentioned this before in past podcasts But the single girls that I know in Los Angeles, they tell me that the guys, at least that they're talking to

are never actually doing what they wanna do for living. So, all their free time is focused on that. So, they have a day job, but they want to do improv. So, at night, they're doing improv. Yeah. So, their free time is constantly taking up and they don't have any time to put into relationship. We're wanting to just be in a, you know, maybe a financial situation that they're not in.

Like I feel like there's so many people that are like, yeah, I want to get married and have kids, but once all of these things happen. And until then, I can't really commit to this because if I then go that route, I could lose everything I've built. And so then you're in this like conversation of it's like, who wants to be with somebody that's fearful of their security? I don't know, security. It's true.

I will think I've got to make the career first before I can ever do anything else. Right. And like, what kind of the both sound simultaneously, but I'm guilty of that. I think it was an excuse to avoid intimacy, but I didn't have that for a long time. I did that too. I just have to work. I would love to be in a relationship, but I've got to work.

You can come over and bring your laptop. We know those are my dates for a really long time. So to be in comedy, then, do people expect you when you're on dates? If they expect to be funny, how does it affect your dating and relationships? I think for myself, I've always tried to avoid people who expect anything like that.

For me, I think it's a natural thing to be funny in conversation, but I remember going on a few dates with a long time ago, and I was actually like, I was like 20. But it was all with improv guys, you kind of naturally have that, but then if I go out with someone who doesn't do that at all, then there is a little bit of that. I mean, I was really young, though. It's hard to say comparatively, but I think typically it's not easier for comedians to do other comedians. Yeah.

That's gonna ask that though. If you would, if you do like dating other comedians, because I know someone like, no, I wouldn't want to, because we're all messed up. I mean, this is just some comedians. But there are more comedians stand up, not improv. Right. It's a difference, right?

Yeah. It's a very distinct difference. Yeah. I don't think you guys are as messed up. Thank you so much. I'm probably just going to have fun. Yeah, I do fight. Well, to me, it's less about, like, I want to date someone who's funny. And more that there's a similar wavelength that's happening.

Like we're doing bits and we're you know it just I I have only really dated or been interested in other comedians, other improvisers, and I think it's because like oh yeah we're like on the same page yeah versus I think if I tried to date someone who was in finance, it would take a lot of adjusting because we're just on totally different. Right, I don't know. It's the way you communicate.

Yeah, the way you communicate. They wouldn't get all the spreadsheets and if you're like, it doesn't matter, it's all going to work out. It's the same thing. But we need to last down. Yes, hand it. Right, yes, hand it.

I totally agree with that statement because my girlfriend, she worked in radio, so she like totally gets it. Like, I need to leave right now and go record something or something like that. And people that I dated in the past are like, oh, you're going to leave right now. Boba, what are you doing? Like, when I'm out working at a concert or something like that. You need some support your career.

It would be totally annoying, but now it's just like she gets it, she worked in the industry. So I understand like dating somebody that does something exactly that you do, it makes it a lot easier. Well, the hour is too, a lot more understandable and forgiven. When I'm dating somebody who gets asked to do an 11 o'clock show last minute, I'm not like, what the fuck are you going? You're like, I'll do the thing. Yeah, I've definitely seen that be destructive for release trips, but don't both do this.

When one person's doing improv or whatever, where you have these weird late nights and the other person doesn't do that and that would be the time you spend together. You're not giving them that time, which it makes sense for what you wanna do, but it doesn't necessarily work for that relationship. All right, yeah. But there's like a priority thing too, because I feel like there's,

I feel like there's a point where, no matter how much you love it and you're doing it, you still wanna at some point be like, but I do sometimes wanna choose the relationship over at 11 o'clock last night, so if we had plans, you know, like, it's true. That's a really good point. Career career one thing but if it's like yet

another Indian rough show with 20 people in the audience right so what's more important what are you doing? yeah then you just don't care about your relationship right it's a balance it's all about okay um i just want to let you know that it's masturbation month so well it's masturbation month it's May hence the question the beginning of the month.

They weren't here at the beginning of the month. May is masturbation month. So it's a very important month. It's my favorite month of the year. And so I want to ask you guys some more questions now that we already warmed up with how often frequently you masturbate. When did you first start masturbating? Do you remember when you first like, wow, because some, some you know girl or little girls And they you know, they were like in the shower or like riding horse or you know I'm just curious when you discovered it all. I started very very young. I discovered like in preschool and I remember

I Remember just thinking everybody knew about it I Was so excited when it'd be nap time because then I'd get to lay on my cot and just like move around a lot. I have other friends then. I was late, but I didn't know I was like 20.

So yeah, I started very, very young. But I have a lot of shame wrapped around it because I remember I would do it sometimes in school like an elementary school. God, I think I probably told you guys this right. But there's one time in fifth grade the our desks were clumped together in these little clusters and so we were all the four of us at the cluster would be facing each other and I was just kind of like rocking back and forth on my seat and You were doing that in probably the night That was weird

You were a very nice No, I wasn't talking with it You should know, I was just listening But I just thought, well nobody notices or it's gonna be fine. And then one of the guys at the desk was like, Hey, Mary, why do you go like this a lot? And I like, my heart just dropped into my stomach. And I was like, is this not a thing that I just immediately

just so much shame around it? I mean, I kept doing it. Right, you're like, I'm stuck in the pool. I was like, I just won't around it. Right. I mean, I kept doing it. Right. You're like, I'm stuck in doing this too long. I was like, no. I just won't do it at school. Yeah, I think that, I'll never forget that moment because I was like, oh, you don't do this in public.

Right. Did your parents ever say anything to you? Did you go home and check? Uh, my, oh man. I mean, there's so many times that, like, I remember this one time I was supposed to be going to bed and my mom, when I was like, I have bunched up my covers

and I was like, going at it. And my mom came in and I pretended like I was asleep on the covers and yeah, there was so many times that I was caught. Right. But you still do it every day. You still do it every day. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, I wish it. Right. But you still do it every day. You still do it every day. Yeah.

That's awesome. Yeah. I wish it were. Yeah. Yeah. OK. Lauren. I don't think I think I had a couple of moments

of kind of experimenting with that when I was growing up. But I think it wasn't really until I went to college that I really got figured out what it was. Right. It was more. And I think maybe that was the freedom of not being my parent's house or something. I always had a door that wouldn't close all the way growing up. I always had things that made it more difficult for me to have real privacy.

And my house is small. You can just hear everyone. I could hear my dad cough. It's kind of like great. But I think once I was like, even though I had a roommate in my dorm in college, my freshman year, I still was like, now I'm figuring it out. And like, I would like take risks with her like in the room and just be like, oh my god, I'm like, I had tough times with that too.

Which is like less privacy than I had before, but I'm like, whatever. Yeah. How you learn to do it so quietly? So you do that too? Yeah, that's true'm like, whatever. Yeah. How you learned to do it so quietly? So you did that too? Yeah, that's true. Quiet, quiet masturbation. Well, I still remember too.

Like, this wasn't masturbation, but I remember hearing about it, and I had no idea what it was or what you would do. And so when I was like, probably between 11 and 13, 15, I would just pretend my hand was a guy's hand and feel myself up, like, over and over. Because I would put my pretend my hand was a guy's hand and feel myself up like Oh Like I would I put my hand on there and nothing right like I don't know people do

But I didn't know movement or anything like that So I would just keep pretending that there was a guy feeling them and I'd like imagine he was like you're so amazing Visual to be able to visualize that and I get yourself turned on story line And I would just keep restating because I was like, I don't know what happens after those second pages as far as I'm going. How old were you? Like anywhere? I bet that started at like 11, 12,

and then like, I didn't figure it out until a guy went down on me. My first person was like, I went down on me and then I was like, oh, right now I got you. That's good, the first time and it just worked like that. Yeah, and I was like, this is, oh, I get what this is. And then figured out the motion, but yeah, in college,

I can't believe I did. I'm sure she did too. Right. But I remember being like, yeah, just like control my breathing. So you're not even like breathing heavily. Yeah, so way I wanted her to know. And she was like the worst. She watched Golden Girl the other time.

So Golden Girl was playing while I was, yeah, exactly. And she just passed by, I was like, so white and weird when you think you've had it yet. I was in mostly, um, literal, okay, first of all, Stephanie will get your answer. Um, I also started very, very young. Um, like, I think preschool, very young, but I didn't know what I was doing. They don't tell you. Yeah, it was worth it. Or just like, this feels great. Like, trying different things. Like, not even knowing it was sexual, because you don't know what sex is.

It's just like, this feels good. And then I stopped, and I don't really know why, and then I didn't start again until maybe 20, 19 or 20. Okay. There. So now, quick shout out to our sponsors, and we'll be right back. till maybe 20, 19 or 20. Okay, fair. So now quick shout out to our sponsors, and we'll be right back. I'm just always curious how you are.

How have everyone got down? What are you mess? I'm around this. I think I was't like junior high. And it's weird because no one ever told me about it. Somehow I just figured it out by myself. So guys do you buy your paper? You're like, oh, this thing's sticking out.

I touch it by mistake. Women can't be more challenging. Yeah. There was never a discussion about it. No one tells you anything. That's why we're here. We're telling people. How do you master it?

Yeah, I think my friends listening even talk about it. No, no, no, no. You talked about, see, that's why I, so my friends, I, I, I, you know, maybe they did, I wasn't listening. Maybe it wasn't paying attention, but I never, didn't even know about orgasms. It occurred to me, I had like a very liberal home like growing up, but I had sex.

It wasn't that good. I was like, it's okay, I'll do it. And then one of my friends was like, well, don't you have orgasms? I was like 20. I was like, what? What do you, what it. And then one of my friends was like, well don't you have orgasms? I was like 20. I was like, what? What is that? What do you mean? I know.

Mary's like, look a horror on her face. I got it. Yeah, I remember. Because I used to have them. Well, like, I would bring myself to the point of orgasm when I was so young. But, and I didn't know know what it was I thought I was like dying or like something crazy happening And so I would I would say this word when it was happening And I go alert alert alert

That is so it felt like like oh my god Okay, the dangerous dangerous and I got so scared to bring myself to, I would do it because it feels good, but then wouldn't ever, I don't think it was until college that I fully was like, oh, I can survive this way. She's tough, right. So, you have got, we still got enough information about it.

We hope you know. No, I don't, I don't really don't, because it's just all about porn. So, that's kind of a bummer. Do you guys watch porn? Yeah, I do feel that porn. Yeah, I think it's cool. I think it's hard to find things that aren't really aggressive

and weird though, or just really gross, people who are gross looking or like, I don't really feel like you have to get really deep into things to find things that are more normal, seeming or something I can relate to more. But I have a hard time finding things that are more normal seeming or like something I can relate to more, but I have a hard time finding things that don't just like immediately turn me off with like a disgusting guy or like just like like people who look really trashy or something. And Trashy, you're like trashy, yeah.

And Trashy, as soon as they start talking I'm like, I think this is the wrong, like you see a horrible life I can't watch. Yeah. Or just like really poorly shot or something. Yeah, like it's how poorly shot or something. Yeah, but I don't like it. Like, each other. Like, trash it doesn't bother me as much as like awkward acting and production. Yeah. That's where I'm like, it feels like it's an act.

Yeah, that's where I'm like, we know you're acting, but you can just pretend like something for us here. I feel like, do you know, I was like a website where it's like all cool or something? There you go. I'm fortunately like a lot of them are been taken over like porno. I was like the conglomerate but there are like Tumblr porn. It's great. Do you go to Tumblr? I do.

I do too. Lazy Cheeky. It's just a friend of mine L. Chase. Well, does she say her name? Lazy Cheeky. It's a great jumping off point. Oh cool. And there's a lot of great Tumblr porn now.

Yeah. It's just a scroll. Scrolls. Oh, then you don't leave your house all day. What is the job you search in like the search bar? Tumblr and then like a word you want. Oh. Just whatever word. Frogs about the cross time. Don't give me a way more. We talked about that. So yeah, I mean, how much sex besides when I was there? Do you do stuff about improv around sex or is it, can you see? That's kind of come up a lot. Yeah.

For the longest time, and it wasn't intentional, we kept doing shows where one of us didn't know what sex was, and then we all got to explain it, but we would of course do it badly. Like that was sort of a thing, for a while. Yeah. And we just like explaining sex. Yeah.

OK, so how about getting in the mood for sex? Like, do you, do you, should we talk about porn? Or do you, we'll talk about the porn thing, but like, do you have to think about, I mean, is the thing I think Senator, just, obviously, we're not always in the mood sense, we're in the mood sense, we're not, but do you fantasize about certain things? Do you have to, what do you do?

How do you get yourself going? I can't even not want to to and then you get yourself. Hmm. Hi. Yeah, I think that I'll just go for it. Please. I think that if I'm not in the mood, but my partner is that that can work for me,

I can kind of get into the mindset of it and be excited. But it's like, if I'm not in the mood, and I'm not thinking about it and they're not thinking about it I can't just like turn that out of nowhere. This is the thing about women, we're just different, right? Women like that often, we just can't just turn it on like a lot of times Our partners can't but that's what I was wondering was where I was leading with that Like this improv help you to like with fantasies because I think for especially for women like a lot of it is We just have to be our mind has to be on board with our body

I'm thinking that's where it starts So I'm wondering if you guys create your own scenarios in your head about things for women, like a lot of it is we just have to be our mind has to be on board with our body. That's where it starts. So I'm wondering if you guys create your own scenarios in your head about things like a more so able to because then I'm going to take improv. I don't feel like for myself I'm that I felt like before like in my in dating I felt like I needed a lot from people and that I needed intensity and aggression to get into it and then now when I'm in love I feel like it all is different and I'm not really sure why but I don't have those same, it's a lot easier to always want it.

That's good. Yeah, it's safe and you're in place so you know your partner's good. Yeah, you know, because it's safe and you're in a place that you know your partner's there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, that sounds amazing. I was posted. Right. No, I do feel like I my my mind definitely has to be engaged. I like I can't just engaged. I like I can't just be focused on the physical and that's it. I find that I really am mentally I have to really be engaged and I do do a lot of fantasy when I masturbate then also when I'm in the in the act with my partner and he'll, you know, like, we'll like, we'll engage in like some talking very light role play or like.

That's perfect. Pillow talk or something. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, because I just did a show in this talk about role play and I was saying to you, like, okay, if you're listening, you're gonna royalize,

and you think I'm gonna tell you to like, you gotta dress up like the pizza guy, whatever. I'm not saying that. I'm saying that you can also, when you're with your partner talking, you can kind of talk about things that you want to, you know, that you fantasize about it like you have to happen, but, you know, there's another person or whatever it is, you create your scenarios.

I think they can just sexy way of mixing it up. I find good experiences with that, with like, just, giving samples, continuous examples. Yeah, I have roleplay that I was a student at Hogwarts and he was Snape. Oh! Snape is my ultimate suspect. I was so full of bad asleep. I love it.

I got this. See, she can do it. I love it because it's crazy. What are you saying? And it first could be upward, maybe there was it. Tell me how it went down. It was actually like, it was. Can you roleplay with someone here?

Let's just do it like, you made me a lord. I know that he's hot so yeah she has a better I think Mary might be more good let's do it like you'll marry that at this big time so am I snake? oh man I feel like then I'd have to give you my whole like this is what I like and this is what I don't like do that I'm like this is not me I'm too big no but people have a version of them in their head

and I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm that version. You're hurt. And like, you don't hate this student, but you care about him very much, but you can't show that. You're a boy. I could be whatever it's a witch. That's so interesting.

So I'm hurt. So I'm hurt. She's just saying, you know, you know, it's me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so emotional. Yeah, see it's, oh yes, I see what you're saying. So it's out of people, he's a little mean. Yeah, it'll be a little mean.

Okay. I'm sorry, I was late. You, uh, no, too awkward. I don't want to say. But then I'll be a little directive like that. And if you can be more okay with that, yeah. I think that's so helpful. People are so afraid of it, like I'll be a little directive like that and yeah That's helpful, but yeah, I think that's so helpful People are so afraid of it like I get judged whatever like yes and I'm awkward and weird at first but keep going with it I just keep it speaking, but that was great

I hate when things sound like porn, like I've had guys who really like In fact the last couple guys I did it, I feel like really like verbal like a lot of talking and I don't have a problem with that But I hated when I could sense they wanted me to just sound like a porn. And it felt fake. And I was like, I'm, I hate being fake anyway. Like in any conversation, I feel like I'll go for being truthful and throw myself under the bus by like over sharing

or just saying something or I'm like, I probably didn't need to say that. But it's the same with sex. Like I don't want it to be like, ooh your cock is so hard. It just sounds so fake to me. Exactly. I really want to say things that are meaningful to me, but then is so hard. It just sounds so fake to me. Exactly. I really want to say things that are meaningful to me,

but then I also want to also please him and the way that you is into. So, I actually get it. A lot of people say that they're like, I'm having some guy friends like I'm having sex. Because I think it's so cheesy. It's so cheesy. You always say this too.

They're like, I don't know every, my friend is dating like a 22 year old, and he's got like 40s, but every girl I've sex with now, I feel like they just watched a porn because it's like, they are acting exactly like a porn. Oh, yeah, when you came on the show and it was like, yes, yeah, she's 22, she's not gonna fucking know what sex is.

Exactly, this is like what this is going to be. You're age, right? Exactly. Yeah. But I love it, see, see, I think this is really good that you were able to do this in relationship, just like kind of bring it and just say like, this is what I like,

because this has to be that hard. Well, I bet it's been a learning curve because I still like get so shot out of it. It was a very, I know. I'm, it just, and this is what I'm curious about this because like,

it doesn't your partner, or it doesn't matter if your partner gets off on that side of it. You know what I mean? I feel like I've been with people who are like, I like this and if they like the opposite, it's like great. So you're not just trying, they would have to let that question. If I felt like they were at all kind of like sure I can do that for you and it was a chore, I would not, it wouldn't turn me on. Right. I have to feel that they're very

turned on. So it's like you're kind of like initiating it. There is like an element of like, is this what you're like sexually? I've always been a conversation first. It's like I wouldn't have jumped into role play without being like, what if this, or waiting until it's like a back and forth of like, we could do this, we could try this. Would you be into this and like, here's what you're doing.

You can kind of talk about it first, right? Instead of just like, cause all of a sudden you're like, what do you mean, you know, Hogwarts? Like what are you talking about? What are you talking about? Since we're talking about scenarios, can I share the scenario that I've been sharing for a couple of years on the show?

Yes. Alright, don't interrupt. Okay. I asked her a few years ago, I go, look, the perfect guy, he's well endowed, he'll take care of you financially, perfect, he connoisseates with you, you love talking all the time. The absolute perfect man. For you. For Emily.

Oh. I go, but there's just one thing that he wants to do in bed. He just wants you to dress as the hamburger from McDonald's. That's it. And she said she wouldn't do it. I just don't find hamburger sexy. Because she says it will. If he found it, that's what he needs to get off.

If I could make it more of like my own version of the hamburger. But you. This is what's right. Yeah, but this is what he eats. He's going to take care of you in every single way. I probably know what I think I's criminal. He's going to take care of you in every single way. I probably, you know what? I think I've evolved. You think you evolved?

I would be my... Because she made it about her. She said that because it doesn't make me feel sexy. No, but I would make a different version of it. Because I think like what you were just sitting here and what's really important, or 70 years like if you don't... Can I ask them if they would do it?

Yes, would you dress as the hamburger? For the perfect partner. I would be. Well, you, the perfect guy could be what you described necessarily, but for my version of that. OK, whatever your perfect guy is. My perfect guy can be where you describe necessarily, but for my version of that. Okay, whatever your perfect guy is. My perfect guy either takes care of me for an answer, that's never been a thing either,

but you're saying a general if you think that. Okay, your perfect partner. Yeah. For whatever you're looking for. I mean, that one, because unless it was degrading to me, I think I'd be willing to do almost anything. I think I might feel humiliated wearing that costume as it is on the mascot now. Right.

But, design, like, if I made it like a full dress or something, maybe or something like that. Okay. That would be something I'm going to do, like, I don't know if I'm going to be on a flowy garb of amber door actually. Like, he just escaped from jail. I feel like I'm not imagining it, right? I just- He doesn't even like the straight hand.

He's like, I'm straight, I'm not really. He's got a thing. And this is dope. But really, I think the point of it is, is that your partner, I think that it sex is so confusing in relationships and it can become such a place where we don't know what our partner wants and then we don't even know how to talk about it. So I think that for a lot of people,

like they're happy that their partner's sharing what they like and they can, if your partner's on board, if it wants to please you, I think it must be just what please our partners. Yeah. Like good caring, loving people. Yeah, but if to please you, I think it must be just what please are partners. Yeah. Like good caring, loving people. Yeah, but if you don't, I'm like really trying to think about that. Yeah, yeah.

Like to me, it's like I wouldn't feel sexual. I would feel like, what am I in? In the hamburger. Yeah, I don't, to me that is it, there's like a disconnect from my own sexuality. It's like I wouldn't feel like sex. It'd be like, what? That's why I would make it a sexier like one. Yeah, so what is it?

What are you just saying, it just because you don't like the character? No, it's like, if it was something else, you'd be okay with it. I'm so open to things. And if I can, at the same time, feel like part of the sex, like it's like, oh, okay, this turns you on, I can at the same time feel like part of the sex like it's like oh okay This turns you on I can get into this I can get into how it turned on like whatever

But I think if something was like really Just out there not not it's out there, but my own come my own like what I'm into Right, so what are you into so what could you this example of like what has worked for you? I really like them to be more dominant and submissive. I can't have that reverse. Like really at all. And it had you had to like explain that to part of you have to discover that about yourself. I mean, you know, I took me a really long time to share that with someone I was dating. And so I would just be very frustrated sexually.

Because we don't know how to talk about it. Yeah, I'm frustrated, but it seems wrong too. Well, a lot of people are disembarrassed to have the conversation. And it took a lot of, I mean, I'm with a woman now, but I think a lot of guys, when I was dating guys, it was like, well, I don't know what, like their shy

within that area because it's like I don't want to you know make you feel bad or I don't want to disrespect you or and it's sort of like yeah but yeah but I would like to be but I'd like to be still the like yeah and that whole thing that was really tough. So you were with men for we always bisexual we men I was always with men and then I'm now with a woman. Wow, so how did you see that coming? No. How did this happen?

I'm excited. It was never even like your fantasy. It just, you met a woman. Never considered it, thought about it, really had no experience with women, had never fantasized, nothing, I I mean really nothing. And then fell in love with someone who I really liked, and we would go out and have dinner all the time, and then I would just be like, but I'm not gonna let you, I'm not gonna get it.

Sucks, and then what happened? It was like, how did you get you, yeah? It was like six months of that conversation. And then she was seeing other people, I was seeing other people, It was like six months of that conversation. And then she was seeing other people, I was seeing other people, and then really she said, I can't do this anymore. It's hard to find.

I'm gay and I'm fine with it. Not that I was a finance, I just really didn't think I was. And then I slowly was like, God, what is, I do really like her. I would prefer to be with her than these other people I'm with. And I was telling my sister about it. I'm like, it's just, you know, I don't know what to do about it.

It's so interesting. Yeah. And my sister was like, maybe you're just prude. And I was like, oh, I think, I really, it really hit me. I'm like, I'm terrified of the sexual aspect of it because it's so foreign to me. And it reminds me of being in middle school going like, okay, what's a blowjob?

That's crazy. And that's how all the sex part of it, I was just like, okay, so I'm starting at zero. And this person's been with people, she's an adult. And I'm like, am I gonna be bad at this? And what is, and in the same way of the submissive sort of my desire sexually, I'm like, I don't know how that works with women Is it like the same? Do we like go fifty-fifty? Right, exactly. And I was like, I'm not gonna be so bad.

And then everything I wanted in one person. Wow. And like hands down the best out of anyone. That's amazing. So the first time, but she knows that you didn't have experience. Right. So she would probably obviously more dominant took the lead. And then you were like, we were like riding a bike then, you're like, oh, it was fine. It was very insanely easy. See Emily needed to eat oh. It was fun, and it was very insane. See, Emily needed to eat women. That's what's going on all these years. No, but I have, I mean, I've had my galleons,

but maybe, yeah, maybe that's it. You haven't been in a relationship with a woman. I'm not in a relationship. I support this idea. You should totally do it. Yeah. I really don't know what's going to happen. Almost people, that'd be good.

We could show it, let you know. You're free to test it out. Let's just have that happen. And we get free to test it out. Is there anything sexually that surprised you guys about yourself? Like that you're like, oh wow, this happened. Like what Mary? She's nodding. Yeah, yeah.

I, uh, this is actually a fairly, like, I've always known that, oh, I really respond when I see things like this. But now I've started to lock into, oh, this is something I should start trying to incorporate. And it is playing with the dominant submissive thing. I really, I would always get like, I can remember specific scenes and movies that I'm like, oh, I love this. And it's when the man is in, he like,

okay, I'm gonna describe a scene. I was even really, because I feel like it this captures it the best. I don't know if you need an extra actor. I was actually able to love this character. It's the movie Lolita with Jeremy Irons. There's a scene in that where, if you're not familiar with the movie Lolita with Jeremy Irons. There's a scene in that where if you're not familiar with the movie, it's about, or the book.

It's about an older man who falls in love with this young teenage girl and is just driven mad by his love and desire for her. And there's a scene in the movie when she, he like went out to go get groceries and she's in their hotel room and her lipstick is just a little bit smeared. And he loses his mind because he's like, you've been with someone, you've been with someone else. And he like pushes her down on the bed and they start like messing and she's giggling, like laughing at him, and he's crying and begging her, please tell me, please tell me, and he's just losing his mind and she's laughing at him.

And I was like, oh, this is so hot. And I don't know what that is, because it's not so much, I really don't wanna be like a dominatrix or something. I think I've discovered recently, and this has surprised me, that I want to be worshiped, or I want to be desired in a way where it's like, they can't control themselves. That's a Vincet. Yeah, so you thought it was a very hot Vincere. So you thought it was a very common thing. Because I think I forgot what it's called.

So you thought it was hot because the guy was like crying. That he was very upset and distraught. He was so at the mercy of her. I just love that. Yeah, I mean, see, this is the basis for a lot of like dominant submissive relationships. Or I think that it's more simplistic that we, a lot of us want to be worshipped, and we want to feel like, he couldn't control herself.

And they did, it was really like, they couldn't do anything they needed, they had to have me. No matter what, it was like, it was their life with them, but like,

they're lost, their love for me was pouring over, and I was so desired. They had to like, to go through like mountains, like all those romance novels and stuff, like just to feel like, oh, desire to want it, and that's why it had to like, to go through like mountains, like all those romance novels and stuff, like just to feel like a desire to want it. And that's why it goes to like the aggression too.

People are like, I don't get that. But it's like, something about just like, it's okay if it gets aggressive because you can't handle himself because you so overcome with how sexy, and amazing and desirable I am. And the thought that he would, this is gonna sound so terrible,

but like that is ruining his life. But it's not. He can't live without you. He cannot live with you. Yeah, exactly. Did you recreate that? No, I haven't yet, but I want to. I'm just standing and now I'm gonna manifest that.

That's what can happen. But I know what you mean with it. Like I feel like sexually, too. It's sort of fun to be in a safe place with someone. And like you were saying stuff, like guys will be shy about the dominant part of it. And I'd rather date someone like that so that it's so clearly we're acting out of fantasy

because there's no part of me that wants in life to date a guy that is dominant or mean when I really actually snake, well, no, yeah, I do. But like, I like the idea of exploring sort of dark things or things I'm afraid of with someone's actually when you're like, but this is totally not how we are in life. This is like just us getting to do this really intimate thing together and it's not real.

It's like not what our relationship is. Yeah, that's what you know. I think it can be scary when someone assumes that role without kind of discussing that. And that would be so scary. Yeah, and that would be like, oh, you're like this, and now I fear for my life. Yeah. And thank you.

And just very presumptuous. Right. Even like some other comedian was talking about how she's dated multiple men recently who all go straight to choking and sex. Like, yes. Kind of before they do anything, and she's like, I don't like this. This isn't like, why do you assume I want to do do this or why is this something that's prevalent in that world? Is that a porn thing?

Yeah, I think it is. I mean, nobody was talking about nobody asking about choking. I mean, I started this 10 years ago. I've done that. That was in podcast. I mean, no one never came up choking. Squirting never even came up until four years ago. And I believe some women do like it.

They like the question, but I like the choking comes up every single day now. And I think it's in a lot of porn, right? Like women are being choked in the question. You're doing that before anything. Like it's time to feel like grocery does. Like what do you think? By the thing.

I'm actually having dinner. I had a weird bad date a few weeks ago. By mistake. I have a like kissed a guy and then went out with him, thought I liked him, I did. But he was a clover girl who's dumb, but he was like, I have a world like, so we drink that. I mean most women do like just this stupid like because he saw it some, I don't know what they do, they do. I mean we had never had sex. I was like, you're just disignaurating about it. I think there's assumptions, you know, and some women, but again, you've deemed to discuss it before and

always don't assume that your partner wants, don't ever make assumptions. I don't assume that what you're seeing in porn is most women. That's my problem with that. Right, for them. For them, for men, not for you. It meant to be a really heightened reality. Like, everything happened so fast and so crazy. Yeah, don't need with the choking. Like, you could do a little, like, like, I would say, give your, just,

speaks to me like a little, like, tap. Like, see how that goes over. Like, we're like, whacking someone. Right? So, has there been anything that you, like, would say, give your, just, think something like a little like tap. Like, see how that goes over. Like, we're like, whapping someone. Right? So has there been anything that you, I've wanted to try that you haven't yet? Sexually. Are you talking to me?

Sex toys? Yeah, you can come. My bad. No, I was looking because the whole choking thing, there was something I was looking at that one, actor from Kung Fu. Like, it really was in the main. Oh, you wanted a fix from Kung Fu, like it really was in the make-

Oh, you want a fixation? Yeah, that was like in the news where it was really mainstream where everyone's really heard about it for the first time, I think. I think that maybe it was the jumping off point. Right, oh, and he was doing it. Yeah, and he was going to be care-pubbly. He was like, I get really nervous and he was like, I'm joe-gizoo. I know.

What about, okay, so if you want to try what about sex toys? Do you use toys? Anything fun? I don't of ours. I know. What about, okay, so if you wanna try, what about sex toys? Do you use toys? Anything fun? I don't use toys. I don't use toys. You guys are all like natural. I'm in masturbation, yeah. But I don't even feel that.

It never has, it always feels really foreign and not attractive. If you need one, Emily has like her whole life. I would really hope that you would give. Amazing one that you had. Is that the womanizer? Yes. Yes, I would. Do I not, that you would give me the one that you had a The womanizer? Yes! Yes! Oh, did I not bring you on?

I'll tell you how you were showing it at the show and I was like, that's what's amazing. Yes, we could bring you womanizers. Oh my god, okay. You mean, you've been purple for a long time. You're like, Tommy! Tommy! Next up, you!

Next up, you! You said, oh, it's a clit whisper. Yeah. It's like, if you're clit, it could speak. It would say, oh, I would like this to be a clay whisper right now. She has a whole garage full of stuff. I would like to tell you about that. That's the machine, the Sip Sibian.

Sibian. That looks like that. I have this on your show, but I am not sure what this is. The Sibian is like a horror story. It was made popular by the Howard Stern Show. By the Howard Stern Show. It looks like a horse saddle. Yes, you remember this and so it is the most powerful sex toy in the world.

And they set me one. They were when my sponsors and it's, I mean it actually came to our dinner party then. It's heavy. It's heavy. It's an ottoman. You can't do that. He's like can I sit on it and you can't move it over.

So you turn it on as two controls like a, can I sit on that and you can't move it over? So you turn it on, it's two controls, like a spaceship almost, you turn it and you bride it, and it's got all these other attachments, and it really is the, it's pretty crazy. It's an X machine. Yeah, I do like, no, I do like it, it's just really, it's a thing, it's like an event.

I know, there's a whole, like, yeah, but it's apparatus. It is like you, your partner partner can watch you could do it together There's like a tattoo if you want like what's your second two four? It's a little over a thousand bucks. Yeah. Oh my god. Oh my god. Pog it change. Exactly. That's why I mean and the butter is like I wanted but the thing is I'm like well how can I share because like we were reviewing it and stuff and they did send me a tattoo It's like a people in your office and like is that weird though to use my sex strip? Because it does, I mean, you can't clean it off,

but it is kind of like, I can't give you a shit at this point. Yeah. Like, Lori was gonna come over, I got you some text. And I was like, this is just, this is just, what are you gonna mess with when we were in my house? I'm gonna bring it in the office, that's where two, but then nothing's really weird in our office.

So it was all very confusing. But yes, I will hook you up with womanizers, for sure, cause they're really cool. We have answers to the emails here. We're gonna do a quick email. Okay, that would be awesome. Okay. Oh, thank you everyone for emailing me feedback at sexwithelm.com.

I love hearing from you, include your name and where you live and how old you are and how you listen makes us so happy. Hi, Emily, my name is Claudia. I'm 25 years old and I'm from Portland, Oregon. I'm emailing you because I need advice on how to become more confident and secure with my body during intimacy. Back in 2014, I'd breast implant surgery and after the healing process was over, I was left

really ugly, kiloid scars around my ariolas, which messes with my self-esteem around my breasts. I plan to get as much of the scars removed as possible, hopefully next year. However, I currently can't send sexy breast pictures. And I don't want to take my shirt off during sex because the scars are so in sexy to me. It's depressing. I just want to have big sexy boobs. Any advice on how to go about this during intimacy with someone should I be upfront and honest? Thanks a lot, Claudia. All right. Can I answer it? Yes. The kids, we talked about this on our drunk podcast that we did. Guys are not going to care about the scars, so she shouldn't worry about all that.

And then the sexy photos, Photoshop, it's easy, or you can download it on a loader app. Photoshop, like face to him, give him a thumbs up. Yeah, you can download an app on your phone. You don't want to Photoshop and send into a guy and then show her breasts, essentially, at that point, a guy is not going to care. Right, but I'm just saying, why not just be up front? I feel so weird. Oh no, I totally, and then I was like, okay, so now I'm just playing.

No, no, no, I totally understand. No, I just shouldn't care at all. The reason why I wasn't laughing, I was just like, just funny that she's like, how do I send sexy photos, you know? But I just thought that was just because you know I'm care, I just want to say that you guys do not care. And it's like, we all have things as well. Okay, a bunch of women, like, yeah, if there's anything on your body that maybe you're insecure about, like, yeah, don't you have things, we all have things that we worry about. And, and, and that's part of the process of becoming

sexually confident is that you just kind of like, you just, you know, you learn to love your body and you realize that like, no one else is judging you as hard as you're judging yourself. Or like being creative with the pictures is not necessarily showing you. Yeah, like a green, you know, doing some sort of, like... Right, but I just thought that picture. Oh yeah, Erin showed us like, oh my god, I should have sexed. I showed it at Wild Horses. I do, yeah.

I had a Hogwarts theme. A Hogwarts theme. So the guy I've been dating had given me a wand, a scarf and Harry Potter glasses and I at the time was like, that's so nice even though I was like everybody knows this about me. You couldn't give me a last meeting with the present. But at the time when I was still dating him I was like, well, I'll wear it all, but only that. And so I took a picture and I had small breasts, so I generally showcase my butt when I just took it. You just chewed your right.

So I set it up for the time. I used the timer. It took me like four hours of that. This is the other thing. Oh my God. I said it like a candle thing. I kept it like I didn't even occur to me to not have it on silent. Or it was like because then you can hear the photo go off.

So I was never I was like, did it go off? Did it go off? But I like lay on my bed with all this stuff on so you could see my butt behind. I like poked it. I was like, this is my ankle. But I had like 500, then I was like, all right, here's the only one that is okay. That's good. It's such a process.

Take it the picture. I've never said one because I just don't know. I don't know. I don't have time. It's stressful. It takes 500 photos. It is hard. It is.

It is hard. It is hard. It is hard. There's a Bluetooth button that you can buy at the Apple Store for your butt photos, so you don't have to use the timer. Okay, so click the button. For your butt photos? Yeah, I'm just saying there's a Bluetooth button that you can pick up. That's what I'm saying for butt photos. What do you want to say?

I'm just saying, you know, it's so easy to say, don't worry about it in a minute. I was just going to say, well, first of all, I think a lot of people like scars. That's what I love scars and know a lot of people that do. And also, I always think about it too. Like, think of when you're having sex with someone or you're dating someone, are you ever judging their body? That what you're thinking about yourself.

That's what I'm saying. You never go, oh, look at that weird, whatever. It's, it's, you're really dumb. And they're not thinking about you. Everyone's just thinking of themselves. So nothing matters if you can just get into it. Yeah. I think too, if you're, if you're with a partner

that you trust or that you are in a relationship with or feel like you can do this, I also think it's okay to be like, hey, just so you know, I'm pretty like, yeah, I'm conscious about these scars on my breasts, so just like getting it out there, so I don't know if that would. No, that could totally work.

So she's not the whole time kind of worried about, like Anderson, from the body, you know, he was saying that he dated a woman in high school for like, or college, for like two years, but she never took her broth, like the whole time, they were together. He's like, what was under there? Like I didn't know they went swimming, You know, it's just like, exactly.

They're my mistakes. Right? Something like that. But just, and it's so attractive to be confident. I think about being a teenager and I was so aware of my body and going to the beach and a bathing suit. And it's like so many years wasted of not just running into the water and having a great time at the beach, you know? And it's like, I think that when you see people,

of course, like anyone's gonna notice a great body, go, that's a great body. But also, like, if you go out with people that are bigger or smaller or whatever in different areas, it's like, if they don't give a shit, you're like, that's the most beautiful, coolest looking person. So true confidence.

Yeah, I mean, I always say cultivating confidence is like the most important thing that you can do. With your work, do you think it's really helped you? I'm sure with your confidence doing what you're doing and just kind of risking it all and going up there and saying, yeah. Yeah. I just thought it was fine if you were looking.

I don't have any confidence, but I'm not. I am as you delivered it. But I do feel that I am like confident about the fact that I don't and I share it in a way that I'm like, listen, this is where I am. And so the times that I have told someone I was insecure about something sexually, it has felt strong because I was like, I'm just gonna tell you this and I don't feel good about it and I'm sharing it with you. And that for me was confident instead of being like, I'm fine with it, which would have been fake for me. Right. Just be honest with you. Because like, I'm fine with it, which would have been fake for me. Right.

Just be honest with you. Because like, life is short as like, suffer through bad sex. Yeah, I think you want. That's a really good point. Like being confident with your insecurity. Like not being ashamed of your feeling or self-conscious. Right. Like that's still confident to be like, calming that.

I'm insecure about this. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Okay, I five questions for you. Like five sex questions I want to ask you all. You just want to get ready. Okay. Um, I will questions for you. Like five sex questions I want to ask you all. You just want to get ready. Okay.

I will start with Mary. Biggest turn on. You know, I think you know, last. Last. Okay, Lauren, biggest turn on. I actually want to say confidence. I feel like that is totally. Yeah.

Aaron, oh, I got confused. Oh, like, we're on the last year. I feel like that is totally. Yeah. Aaron. Oh, I got Can feel like we're on the last night. Well, but in some in someone else or what turn you on. Yeah, what turned you on biggest turn on fame and love Good. You know your stuff see good Saturday. Um, I would say talent and energy Growing up biggest turn off my biggest turn off is I think probably a you know a you blocked it because it's so awful. I don't know. Probably just like I don't know. Probably just like... Oh, I don't know.

Maybe everything turns you on. Like maybe you just don't see the positive. Yeah, I think like really like if we're talking of like porn, I watch a lot of porn. I think this super aggressive like really like close-up shots of like things going in but. Right, we do things with butts. That's a good one. Okay, based on how? I think when I actually kind of goes hand in hand with confidence or the opposite of comment, like when someone's very like self-doubting or like having or feeling like they suck or

something like that is the turn off. Right, never have sex. Any time I sense any level of someone being fake or in genuine at all, that's a good one. That is good. I had to break my answer. That was so good. Yeah, that was just so good. Yeah, I agree. You could have that as like self-obsession.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, you know, I'm going to change my end to self-obsession. I should have said close to self-obsession. I'm gonna change my into self obsession Okay, crazy place you've gotten busy head sex Rapid fire I'm so much pressure. I'm really sorry. No, we started reading these back. We used to be right I'm mixing it up. We don't usually have four people We would have what this is amazing. Hey, go in a car in the rain Okay, uh in a in a tractor in a field

But we didn't finish because I felt like it was too dirty first button. I got grossed out Suscuring you by his butt in a very narrow staircase. Hot? On a stranger's front lawn in the middle of the night. Oh, nice. Glad you didn't go first.

Crazy in an arm. Sexy's word to you. Anyone? Sexy's word? Word. Love. Need. Fuck. Fuck. I don't know. Like that it- I know it's hard. Sex it, like sex is word. I said employment online. I'm not a cash. We're like, women with a pay style. You see cash?

I don't really know the whisper that you have in the chat. You didn't hear me. No, no, no. It just meant to bring it all together that somebody that has their own thing going on. Absolutely. Do we all answer sex? The one thing that you wish to tell your current or future partners about your body or your needs.

I know. It's a hard one. I don't even remember that one. I'm going to get to it. Yeah, probably. For the drunk shot? Yeah. And one thing you want to tell, like, the, yeah, like, I always say, like, what do you wish

you could tell? What do you wish that all men are what we knew about sex that you don't know like I'm thinking oh okay I don't remember it now yeah I don't you wish being touched a lot like I could there's no like to like during the day or during sex whatever like I a lot of touch not touch um do not do not discount for play like oh for play is so important. Yeah, don't even call it for play. Right, that's the she-

She all knows it. She's part of it. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it's that. But it's some, like, someone just goes straight to touching the private. It's like, well, now I hate this. And it's, we're not trying to.

Yeah, we don't know if the walk with the room. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. Yeah, we don't know if the walk with the room. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying to. We're not trying. The whole thing, right? Yeah, that's the worst. Yeah. Yeah, I actually agree with that. Perfect. Also just tag onto that answer. Yeah. You're alive. I would say be really connected and intimate or willing to be or don't be there.

I just, it's so hard for me to be sexual with someone who doesn't really want to emotionally be there as well. Right. I just watched Bull Durham. Oh, yeah. Oh, so funny. Yeah. That's your great one. And never mind, do you have that difference between Tim Robbins and Kevin Costner? I just watched Bull Durham. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So funny. Yeah, such a great, and I remind you of that, like, the difference between Tim Robbins

and Kevin Costner, like a young guy and a man who can, like, undress her and sit slow and it's so, like, beautiful. And then when she's with the young picture, he's just, like, ribbing his head up. Yes, such a great example, right? Yeah. I'm a funny guy. I'd be with a man. Hold the time today. Oh my God, so good.

It's such a good movie. I'm going to watch it that day. My mom had that poster in our bathroom when I was growing up. That's a great one. That is so good. Now you have to see it. Thank you so much for coming. I really appreciate it.

Menace, what's up with you? Anything else that we can do? Just follow me on Instagram and Twitter at menace. That's it. Okay. And my dog Tiro. My dog Tiro? Okay, add a yeah, the same thing

because I'm into the Snapchat thing. Everything's sex that may cross the chat. Yeah, keep on Snapchatting. I support that. That's definitely not fun. It's so fun. I know, I just understood it. Just figured out like five minutes ago.

Okay, thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithendly.com. Okay, thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email at feedback. It's sexwithamlee.com.