Sex With Emily - Best Of: Sexually Fluid with Nico Tortorella

Episode Date: January 26, 2019

On today’s throwback show, Emily is joined by actor Nico Tortorella and the two are talking all about sexual fluidity. Emily and Nico discuss the differences between bisexuality to pansexuality, explore the range of relationships from monogamy to polyamory, and what it means to be sexually fluid. Plus, they talk about how opening yourself up to all types of love can help you have the best sex imaginable – not to mention experience pleasure in ways you never thought possible. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: We-Vibe, Foria, ThirdLove, SiriusXM, Womanizer Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemily Follow Nico on Instagram: @nicotortorella For even more sex advice, tips & tricks, visit: sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm joined by Nico Tortarella, actor and creator of the Love Bomb podcast and all around spectacular and sexy human. Our discussion was pretty hot, but we also talked about how we're living in a time of sexual fluidity and experimentation and why that's good for your sexual health. How to create a successful polyamorous relationship that's fulfilling and pleasurable. Nico shares his best tips for going down and you're going to want to take notes. Plus, I might even have an orgasm during the podcast.

Enjoy the show. I know I did. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betruma eyes they call them in a bygone name. Hey, Avaline. Best Buy Sex Eyes that mock our sacred institutions Betrubize they call them in a buy-gone day Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend?

Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute The girls got a hair stand Oh my The women know about shrinkage Isn't it common, Avaline? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my god, I want to feel so So, going, being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between for more information. Go to sexwithemlead.com where you can check out all of our podcasts. We've got a lot going on there.

Our blogs. You know, we're posting stuff every week that every day, actually, that's going to help your sex life this week. We've got what lot going on there. Our blogs, you know, we're posting stuff every week that every day actually that's going to help your sex life. This week we've got what the fetish, we explored the origin of fetishes. We delve into the work to remove the stigma that's associated with a lot of fetishes. You guys are always saying, what's up with the foot fetish?

What's up with BDSM? What's up with cross dressing? We will cover that in the blog. Also five ways to kink up your date night because who doesn't want to kink that up Those are just some from the last few days and also fell me on social media because I love that I love hearing from you. I love answering your questions. It's sex with Emily Instagram Facebook Snapchat and Twitter across the board. I'm very excited to get to my guest right now

I have Niko Torturella Torturella Torturella! That's how now. I have Niko Torturella. Torturella. Torturella. Torturella. That's how you say it, right? Torturella. Niko Lowegee Torturella. Of course. Just as Irish as you can get.

That's right, exactly. Oh my God, that's amazing. Okay, so Niko and I met. So fun. The Cosmo magazine, let's talk about. Let's talk about sex. Let's talk about sex. Oh wait, no, it was, let's talk about sex. Let's talk about sex. Let's talk about sex panel.

Oh wait, no, it was, let's talk about, and we were on the sex panel. Yeah, which is like, obviously the best panel. Totally, yeah. Because they were like, let's talk about, I don't know what else, gardening. We were downstairs eating. Empowerment.

Empowerment. Yeah, important stuff. Yeah, really important. Empowering women, like confidence, but we were like, all of them. And people loved it. Like, they were kind of freaking out. All the cause, they were like,

a YouTube, you guys should take it on the road. So maybe this is our first version of like taking it on the road. This is the appetizer for the road trip. Do you guys think that we should like form a podcast band and take it on the road? But let me tell you a little bit about Niko. If you don't know, Niko is, you're going to want to just check all his stuff out. He's been a lot of TV shows, movie roles since 2009. He's starring in Younger, which is on TV land, and Hulu, which congratulations, by the way, like your fifth season.

We're going into five in February, yeah. Okay, that's a huge, powerful show. It's like a real show, yeah. It's like a real, like five. Like you wanna get two that's big, but five is like, dude, that's amazing. And he's just super talented. You're a poet, writer, musician, musically inclined musician.

Like, what don't you do? What don't I do? Like math on a regular basis? Right, like, calculators. We pay people to do math. And he loves humans. He loves people. And he's got a podcast called the Love Bomb Podcast.

And you guys have to check it out. Because you guys are all podcast listeners. I love sharing new podcasts that I think that you're really going to enjoy. So you really, you've interviewed a lot of really interesting people. Yeah, it's been great. It's been like the soul of my work recently, you know,

I think as an actor, you spend so much time working on other people's projects, right? And you kind of lose track of like what that driving force is. And as soon as I got behind a microphone and started getting this message out, right? And I wasn't even sure what the message was. And still to the day, not really sure what the message is, to be honest with you, outside of like acceptance and love.

Something just like clicked. I just love communicating with people. Yeah. And I think there's something about this platform where I mean, when in life do you you block out in our to sit across from somebody like this and have a real human conversation that is just like based and trusting each other. Exactly.

You're right. And you really do feel like it's just the two of us. Like there's no, I don't think about all the people that are going to be listening. I know that there are people, hopefully, forever people will be listening, but it's really like, I forget the mics are here and we're just getting into it. And I think that you have that same kind of intimacy and your podcast as well.

I guess, maybe most podcasts, I don't know. Now, some people I think it's a little different, but I'd read that you're just inspired by the conversations that you are already having and people in your day-to-day life, right? Yeah, and now I was having a lot of conversations about sexuality and gender identity. And that was the focus of the podcast in the beginning.

That was like what I was getting into. It's kind of just where my head was circling. As time has gone by, it's definitely shifted a really natural, beautiful shift. It started to shift into this world of spirituality in sense of higher self and next level, which I think is really based in this idea of figuring out who you are

and what you want, right? And if you're taking that step into your own sexuality or your own gender identity, that is inherently a first step in a spiritual exploration of sorts. It's true. It's so interesting because I think the journey to figuring out who we are and what we want is

Is just I mean, I think you're first I can never done because I think you're always changing and But I think that it's it you think it would be easier There's a lot who that aren't even on the path, but you think like I already know who I am I know I am and then you get hopefully you get to the point in life where you're like, oh, you know What I think I really don't know and you think it would be easier because you're like it's me But there's always different layers to feel back and we're always changing. So I wanna get into your spiritual journey next,

but first, because I am interested in a lot of stuff you've been through, but I want to talk about gender and sexuality, and first let's start out with how you identify. Yeah, I am a human being most of the time. I am a cisgender bisexual who explores polyamory. Okay, so I'm going to have you break down. We were a lot of the terms that we're talking about today because I think it's the wild

wild west of gender identity right now. I think it's very confusing to people, including myself sometimes. I'm like, wait, cis, I got to stop and think, right? Were you male? So cis, I mean, is your gender your born with? Yes, sis gender's the opposite of transgender. Right, exactly. And gender's very much so in the zeitgeist right now.

Right, let's just- Let's just- Oppositive trans. Right, yes. So you're born as a man, but you don't like, do not say, would you say that you're a man though? You said sis gender. So you said just said sis gender man.

Sis gender, yes. Right, sis gender male. Male. Bisexual, yeah. Bisexual. I didn't say male in there, I just said. You didn't, but some people don't want to. Cicgender male. Male. Bisexual, yeah. Bisexual. I didn't say male in there. You didn't, but some people don't want to be identified as either male or female. Right.

Yeah, I mean, there's what, 72 different gender options on Facebook right now. Yes. Yeah. If you don't want to be identified as either or there are a plethora of words that you can choose from. Hey, gender, gender nonconforming, gender nonbinary. The list is... And do you know if you understand all of know what they do, understand all of them?

I don't understand all of them. And as interested as I am in gender identity, I am also not attached to the idea of having definition for each gender personally. I, like studying it outside of the people that I'm having a conversation. Like if I meet somebody and they identify as a gender, and I'm not sure what a gender means, that's okay. I wanna hear it from the people that I'm having a conversation. Like if I meet somebody and they identify as Agender, right? And I'm not sure what Agender means, that's okay.

Like I want to hear it from the person that actually identifies as an Agender, you know? Because I'm thinking like, and that's where it kind of started on your show. But also it was interesting because watching your segment on the view, which I'm totally cool, you had a cancel on our first podcast meeting

because you're on the view, which is awesome. And I thought that was so fascinating about how you really, um, you were mostly, did they bring you on to talk about how do they pitch it to you? Like, it was, okay. So, yeah. No, so here's what happens. So they reach out to me. They were like, we want to do a piece on you and sexual fluidity.

And I was like, like cool. Awesome. Thank you. But, like, I'm kind of in a place right now where I'm not into just telling my story. I'm super lucky to be in the position that I'm in to have this platform and the reason that I have this platform and the reason that people are listening to me talk

about this thing, have a lot to do with the fact that I am white cisgender and passing heteronormative. This is what you guys can't see, but he's very good looking. A attractive, right? Yes, okay, so that's great, but I'm tired of telling that story.ormative. This is what you guys can't see, but he's very good looking. A attractive, right? Yes. Okay. So that's great, Nal. But I'm tired of telling that story.

I think we're living in a time in this political landscape, in this climate, like that it's just irresponsible to keep telling my story over and over and over again. So I was like, look, the view, amazing, huge media, huge audience, let's use this opportunity to tell other people stories from communities that are marginalized, right? And who don't usually have this platform to talk about their lives, because I really am a very firm believer that the only way we can understand, like all of sexuality and

all of gender is if we hear about it from all different walks of life, right? Every single religion, race, color, creed, sexual orientation, like socioeconomic status, everything across the board. It'll just give us a wider view. Right, and I think there was a lot of people sitting at home watching the view, because I picked your, I mean, from the Midwest, sorry you, Chicago, right? What are you from, Wisconsin?

Michigan. Michigan, yeah. Yeah, but I think people watching, just thinking like what, like, you were talking to a group of teenagers, teenagers, right? They were like 18 to 24. Right, the woman was like, she doesn't identify, she's that.

She says like, when she's talking about her. Yes, she doesn't prefer feminine pronouns. Right, feminine pronouns. They prefer, they them pronouns. Right, and I think everyone was like, blowing even the hosts in the show, which I didn't see in the view in forever when I watched your clip.

I was like, look, we cannot have the bisexual, the sexual fluidity conversation without having a gender conversation. They were like, well, we cannot have the bisexual, the sexual fluidity conversation without having a gender conversation. They were like, well, we really want to keep it to sexual fluidity. We really want it to be about the sex, and not about the gender. And I was like, that's going to be really difficult to do.

It is really difficult, right? Really difficult to do, because when you start talking about being pansexual and being attracted to more than the binary of gender, right? You're like, you have to talk about the other genders that exist. And it gets really confusing. And immediately when we were done with the segment, when I was on air, everyone on the panel was like,

God, that should have been the whole episode. We should have done the whole episode. Oh yeah, it was like six minutes and like six minutes or eight minutes more. They should do an entire week on gender fluidity and sexual fluidity. Well, at least they did a little bit for the viewers. That's a place to start.

But I know. I was just so glad to see that. So how would you describe the difference between being sexually fluid, but then also pansexual? I mean, oh, there's so much. Let's talk about some of the terms that are most common. We're not going to go through all 72 because you've got way more, we've got so much more to talk about. But let's talk about the bisexual umbrella for us.

Let's do that. Okay. Yes. I love that. I think these words, pansexual, fluidity, there's tons of words. Right. For me, and I'm not speaking for everybody, for me, fall under the bisexual umbrella, the B that we have in the LGBTQ plus, okay. And in my generation, and in generations, younger than me, people are a little like

trepidaceous to use the term bisexual. For whatever reason, it has some sort of negative connotation. It hasn't been the most like positively four letter in the community. It just hasn't. And it really hasn't ever been positive representation of it, especially from a dude. Not from men at all.

Right, for women, they're like, of course, that's great. That's sexy, but for men. But that's also just like the fetishizing of women. Exactly, exactly. So I am all for all the words that fall under the bisexual umbrella, but for me personally, it was just, I made the decision.

And at the end of the day, I fall somewhere more under the pansexual idea than the bisexual idea, because if you think about the word. So let's talk about pansexual then. Yeah, if you think about the word itself, bisexual, bi, bi-nary, two choices. That's not technically what bisexual is. The word pansexual was born in the early 90s

to fight transphobia that may be existed in the bi community. And that's not really true. Some people just had their fist in the air for trans rights that's not really true. Like, you know, some people just had their fist in the air for trans rights when that wasn't necessarily the case in the bi-sexual community, but it's a beautiful thing that it was born, right? So pansexual kind of fully encompasses all genders

in sexual and romantic attraction. The transgender. Transgender, agender, Gender Queer across the board. It's not about what you have between your legs. It's about what you have in your heart and what you have in your head. So it's kind of like when people say they're attracted to someone's sexual energy and their soul.

Yeah, totally. And people are like, what? I don't, you know what I mean? But it's kind of true. Okay, so let's talk about you then early on. Wait, can I say one thing about this real quick? And then for me. No, let's keep, we got time.

For me, the term fluidity is a word that I use a lot. And I think it far transcends sexuality with a lot. Well, just fluidity by itself, right? And I think that for me, there's never been any sort of representation of somebody that plays in the spectrum, right? That it doesn't have to be fixed for the rest of your life.

You don't have to be one thing for the rest of your life, right? And that's why I use the term fluid. It's ever changing. It's ever evolving. I can shift instinct, you know, water fluid flows. And it's just like whatever is taking and whatever is happening is like where I'm going. Right. And do you feel like this is something that the more you talk about it, that there's people who are having like bulbs going on and saying, I never was able to explain what I want. Yeah, totally.

You must be hearing from so many people, like who email to your show or get in touch with you that they're like, oh, now I kind of get it. And it's okay. Yeah. Right now, we're just trying to give you to understand what transgender is. And maybe there's another bathroom. Maybe people are finally understanding because they're seeing it in the news, but then there's this whole other way of thinking about sex.

I mean, I think it's great that you, I mean, you really have been a role model. Thanks. And like, there's so much more work to do. Yeah, I know. And this is like just the beginning. And I live in this little bubble in New York, right? Where all of my friends are queer

and this is all we talk about all the time. And like, I forget that there are people that don't even understand the basic vocabulary of the community, right? Or you don't even want to. It blows my mind. I'll go to the middle of America and be like, oh fuck yes, you people exist. Exactly, right? We go back home and visit our family. What? I mean, I was in San Francisco for 20 years before here. So that was like that, you know, I get it. So let's talk about queer though too. Yeah. Or quickly. So queer is kind of, how would you find queer? The queer community. People

are like, to me, though, like, can I say queer? It is almost like when you're black, you can say the certain derogatory terms, but when you're queer, like, could I say he's queer? You know what I mean? It still feels to some people like it is sort of a... Yeah. I mean, queer was a derogatory term for a long time, right? And I think that the community is taking that word back and is really proud of it, but not all of the community. No, exactly. You're going to piss people off.

Yes, like if I post on Twitter something about being queer, I'll have like white gays, cis men attack me for using the word queer. Like that doesn't fucking represent me. Like how dare you use that word? And I'm like, what the hell am I talking about? Oh my God, people should get angry about it. The amount of phobia that exists inside of the community, especially from white cis men, gay men is like, insane.

What do you think it is though? Why are gay men so threatened by you or by bisexuality? I know I hear this a lot too, like in the lesbian community, they're like, oh, bisexual women too, like no, it doesn't. So, well, I mean, I think at the end of the day, any sort of phobia towards anyone is just your own insecurity about something that's going on in your life that is finding some sort of outward expression. Right. It has nothing to do with the person's actually

living that lifestyle, it has everything to do with you. Right, no, that's typically, you're right. If they're writing something in your comments, you trickle something in them. It's like a mirror into their own stuff. A gay man attacking a bisexual or a queer person, is it the fact that they have more than one option that is like a threat to them or their jealous of the,

like, honestly, I don't know. I think it's all a case-by-case scenario. Yeah, you're just like about love. Like, you're not. Yeah. You're like sending love. So let's talk about early on though, Nico, when was your first sexual experience?

Like did you, how did you identify when you were a kid? Would you, who you're attracted to? Yeah, well, I mean, Third grade, did you have a crush on who? I know, I've always been attracted to women, right? On my entire life. I mean, my mom bought me a playboy when I was like eight years old, probably.

It was just like, I mean, I grew up in a bar in Chicago. There were like dancers at the bar. There were like bartenders that definitely did not wear enough clothes. Like, I was just, I was around sex my whole life, or sexuality. And it wasn't anything that was thought of as like, gross, right? It was like, I'm pretty judged. Yeah. I mean, I remember the first time I like figured out what being gay was or what it meant. Like there was nobody in my family that was gay.

I didn't have any friends that were gay. Like I suppose I had a young age before I got into the theater world. But I was like, mom, like why would two guys ever be together? They can't have a baby. Like it didn't make any sense to me. Like I was just like, you had sex to have babies, right? That was early understanding. It's your told exactly.

People are still told that. And she was like, what are you talking about? Too many even holding hands, like that's fucking disgusting. And I was like, oh, I think about this. Differently than other people did. At a really young age, I realized that. There wasn't an immediate attraction to men in my life. I have a slew of daddy issues and just abandonment from like male figures in my

life from a really young age and I was raised by all women. My first sexual experience, I guess, I lost my Virginia when I was 15 in Mexico to this girl that I met that day. Her name was Antonette. Was she Mexican? That's Italian girl. Yeah, from the Bronx. And she was a couple years older and funny story.

I mean, we were watching Scarface in our hotel room. And my parents' hotel room was right next to it, with the door, but it was locked. It was closed. It was closed, yeah. But like, say hello to my little friend, right? It just really happened. And I, like, she left, we had sex, she left.

I opened the door to my mom's room, I was like, Mom, I just lost my virginity. Like, immediately, I told her. Oh my God, it was cool. Well, she was like, did you fucking wear a condom? And I was like, I told her, I told her to be out about the condom. Oh, we didn't get her pregnant.

I didn't get her pregnant. Okay, so that was your first right. I didn't get a pregnant. Thank God. OK, so that was your first right. I love that you're paired that you were open enough to be like, hey, I think people are like that now more. So with their parents, their parents are like, just tell me. If you try drugs or what you do. OK, so you did that.

And then what you went through high school. And then what about with when did the men come in? Yeah, yeah. What happened there? In the back of my mind, part of me knew that it was always wrong. In one way or not, wrong in quotes. Other then, right?

It was fringe of sorts, where I was raised and in my family, it was considered wrong. And I've always been attracted to things that I wasn't specifically supposed to do, right? And so I always knew it was. You're rebel? Yeah, I mean, I guess, but like not in a like malicious way.

It was like, it's just like, like I'm a seeker. I'm an explorer, right? There was no way I was gonna go through life without experiencing what that was. The second I realized so many people lived like this. And like my first sexual experience with a dude, it's actually a little bit of a strange story. I had a friend that I was really close to

and I had an on-off girlfriend in high school that like we were best friends, right? And she told me that he had come out to her and I had like had this feeling about it but I knew that he was like going through it, right? And I like wanted to help the situation. It's fucked up as that sound. Yeah.

I did this whole interview where I was talking about my first experience and this story came out. And it just sounded like I was doing it because I felt bad for it. Right, right, right. But that wasn't the case at all. Right. I was just as excited to explore the situation too.

What's the word? Like a pity fuck? Exactly, exactly. But that's not what it was at all. Like we went out, got wasted and like should happen. And what happened though? Like did you get a blow job? Yeah, we went down on each other.

There was no ass play at all. I think that was quoted in the interview. No ass play. I'm not sure we should do that. But yeah, and we stayed friends. And that was the only time we ever hooked up. And then I hooked up with another friend of mine. And also you were drinking a lot,

because now I know you're sober. That was literally like, I'm gonna go on that. But this is my question for you, because now you've been sober for your 29? Yeah, 29. And you've been sober for two and a half years? Yeah, a little over two and a half.

Okay, that's amazing for us. I mean, that's such a struggle, it's a fight, and I really impressed. I'm proud of you. Especially growing up with around alcohol, your family, like in Chicago. I'm from the Midwest, I go to Chicago, it's like all we do is drink and go to bars. I'm not even a big drinker, but it's like you have to drink there.

So the fact that you were able to get out of that and get help for yourself, because now that you're sober, and I know you've had a girlfriend too for 11 years, 10 years? 11. Right, 11 years. But you obviously found it off, you're polyamor know you've had a girlfriend too for 11 years 10 years 11 right 11 years, but you obviously found it off your paliamer, but you see other people Mm-hmm. Is it more like when you're out in the world now then so now that you're not when you're sober too

Because I know like drunk sex sober sex very different. So how are you still with men though as much as you're Yeah, yeah, for sure. I think it's a pretty even split. Okay. I think for I don't know the nine years that I was really drinking there were a lot of relationships with men and women that like seem really foggy to me right that like I don't think I was treating myself well So I wasn't treating anyone in my life. Well, I think that I'm a firm believer that you will love other people the same way that you love yourself Mm-hmm And I like wasn't really loving myself that much. And the second I got sober, I started taking my life seriously and like started taking

relationship seriously too, right? Kind of. Right, right. To the best of your ability. You've got to use that. You've got to use that. You've got to use that. You've got to use that.

You've got to use that. You've got to use that. You've got to use that. You've got to use that. You've got to use that. You've got to use that. You've got to use that. You've got to use that. You've got to use that. You've got to use that. I have time to be in a committed lockdown, living with some relationship where you're compromising things, right? I love relationships. I know, right, they're fun.

They're totally fun. And I love starting relationships and falling in love with somebody and getting to know somebody. And I've had- That's the best part we call it the honeymoon phase. The honeymoon phase, yeah. I love a honeymoon phase.

And I've had a good handful of like four or five six month relationships that fizzle out. Yeah. Those are the bad ideas that I've done. I've made a career on that. I've always seen, well yeah. Now I've barely, I mean, no, for years I was like, why can't we just keep doing this? Right.

It's like you always could eat the frosting, dessert all the time. Yeah. But like at the end of the day I've heard a lot of people, you know? Right, right. I, this is sounds annoying and I've talked about this before but I the day, I've heard a lot of people, you know, right? Right, right. I This is sounds annoying and I've talked about this before but I've never I've never been broken up with I've never Been the one that is like destroyed. I've destroyed myself a couple times in it but yeah, I've like left this trail and it that doesn't feel good right And I think that at the end of the day, I haven't necessarily treated the people in my life

as good as I could, but I'm trying to be better. You're learning. And I think that where that might come in is, and I did the same thing I'm telling you, I left so many, I never have been broken up with. I'm trying to think if I have now. Now it's a little different because, but back, I'd say I was a serial monogamous, but that would happen. And I been broken up with. I'm trying to think if I have now. Now it's a little different, because, but back, I'd say I was a serial monogamous, but that would happen, and I would break up with them.

I think I was intimacy issues. There's a lot of different reasons, but this isn't necessarily about, but for you I would think, and now what I've learned looking back on is, I do regret people I've heard, but also I think it comes down to communicating early on. Well, here's the other thing.

Do you find that you are probably communicating early on? Like, this is amazing. I love this, but I'm seeing other people. But when you're under that spell, the honeymoon, it's amazing. They're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear your words. But oh my god, the sex is explosive and looking to your eyes. And I can't imagine this is ever gonna. But also I have a podcast now, right? When that people can go and listen to all of these stories of different people that I've dated, right? And that is really something that I'm struggling with. Oh yeah, I've been doing this for 12 years, and so yeah, I got it.

I'm like, oh my God, I've had guys call me back. You went on another date last weekend, or you did? Yeah. But. Yeah, I got a phone call last week that was like, you know, maybe I shouldn't listen to this podcast. Maybe I should just like really get to know you face to face instead of listening to the podcast.

I tell people not guys not to. Like when I've met people recently and they're like, oh, we talking the phone, or however we meet, they're like, I'm gonna go listen. I'm like, and then I'm afraid if I say please don't, then they're absolutely going to. Well, the thing is, it depends on what episode they're listening to.

Exactly, they're listening to, right? Exactly, they're all different, right? And when I recorded it, because I'm changing so fast, I'm a different person than I was last week. I know, exactly. So I may have said some shit, a few months ago that I don't necessarily totally stand by right now, but it's out in the world, and they listen to it.

And it programs the person that I'm dating. You can just tell it's your art and that's what you do and you might take performance art in a way you'd love them to get to know you what I'm on. I think they're still going to do it. Yeah. That's really interesting. Okay, I'm going to take a quick break. We're going to give a shout-out to our sponsors. Thank you everyone for supporting our sponsors. I give you a little quick glimpse, Nico, at some of the prizes you'll be going on with. But you guys see, thanks for supporting them, keeping the show free.

We love you all, and we'll be right back. So where are we? Oh, dating, right? It's hard with the podcast. People always say to me like our guys and intimidate you or people intimidated because of what you're saying or you're the expert It's like you know what I could think about all those things or maybe they're just dating me for another reason because they think I'll teach them something. Oh, no But I think I feel like I'm a pretty good judge of character and I would know once I met them what their intentions were

And then I realized I'm even taking more time than I would have in the past. Maybe like just jumping in bed with someone, not that I wouldn't do that, but I'm saying, I feel like I'm a better, like I can kind of tell their intentions, but it's not gonna happen. Because it's all out there. Totally. And like I'm talking about being polyamorous

all over the place right now too, you know? And like I think I realized that the people coming into my life either see that in one way or another, like I don't know, I mean I can't imagine somebody that's coming into my life either see that in one way or another, like, I don't know. I mean, I can't imagine somebody that's coming into my life, like, doesn't fucking Google me. Well, if you Google you, yeah. Okay, so here's all your articles right here, right?

Let me, you guys, then you guys have a Google right now, because you gotta check them out. It's like, younger star VLT sexually fluid. This, okay, here's another title. This is what a queer family looks like. Well, yeah, well, that's a really important one, that one, because Bethany and I are on the cover of the episode. Yeah, that's a beautiful piece.

We're the first ever male, female couple to ever be on the cover of the advocate. Yeah, that's, that's amazing. But we got a lot of shit for that, cover. From the gay gay community, yeah, I get it. We're two white people who look and pass as a heterosexual couple who are talking about being queer, it's a problem for a lot of people. Right, it is, but I love that you're breaking down all these barriers.

I really do. So mostly for you right now, it's not like you're so concerned, you know, other people you have to define maybe what you're into to other people, but for you now with relationships, it's really more about being polyamorous. And how would you define like your primary partner, I guess, would be Bethany? Bethany, yeah. For sure. And so, uh... And we all, like we've had sex twice in the last like two years, you know? So we're like not really sleeping together all the time.

Right, so you're more like, what do they call it now single-pally? Or like, pally single when you're just, when you're single, but you're dating a lot of people. Well, I'm not even dating a lot of people. I'm actually like... Or sex with what are you doing? Yeah, I mean, no, no, to be honest with you, I'm actually pretty monogamous in my idea of polyamory. Like I will explain that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Monogamy, polyamory.

Okay. I will meet somebody new and I will give like most or all of myself to that new person from the get-go to like really get to know that person. And I think especially on a physical level, I like can't have sex with more than one person at a time, or I haven't been able to in the past. Like, if I'm sharing with somebody,

that is what I'm working on right now. And that, I'm giving so much of myself to it, there's not actual space to sleep with him on Thursday night, sleep with her on Friday night. Like, I just can't do it. I get it because that's a thing about paleoamry. There are a lot of people I know in that world. They're like, oh yeah, it literally is Monday nights with this person,

Thursday night with this person. That's beautiful. Yeah, I'm so into it. But for you, it's more like four to six months with this person, four to six months with the next person. But yeah, and like if you build the stable groundwork with a new person in your life, and then you decide to open it up and start seeing other people,

I think that can be beautiful. But I don't think you can jump into a new relationship and be like, yeah, we're both gonna sleep with other people for the next couple months and good luck. I have the same issue, so that's what I've always been kind of considering. I guess I have been, I don't really label it, but Palliam are my past, and I guess maybe now I'm dating and sleeping in people,

so say there you go, now I'm gonna get out and go, you know, you're just sleeping. But I think that it is, but when I meet someone, I actually like them, it is hard for me to be like, wait, I can't help, I get attached. I'm like, I think that you do need to build that foundation first, and then be like, okay, maybe we should open it up. Because otherwise, then you're just, which is fine as well, you're just sleeping with several different people,

but you're not gonna go any deeper with somebody. I think if that's what's happening, it's harder, at least for me to not have that intimacy. But maybe like that is what I should do, actually. Like maybe I don't need to get that deep. I know, well, it's such an intensity that you have, right? But, but, well, that's what I was going to ask you. So, right, are you doing it because it helps you feel safer?

You, like, you know, you want them to make sure they really like you and get you, you want to feel understood. I want to hold somebody's hand and like have fireworks explode, right? And, like, that doesn't happen unless you know that person. Right. You've never had it happen. Well, we know them how like where they grew up and then their mom's name for.

No, like like like, like, intimately know that person. Right. Okay. Energetically, like share on a level that I think can only happen when you give yourself totally to that person for a certain amount of time. Right. See, and I feel, I understand what you're saying, but I've also had experiences, and again, this is not for everybody where I can get really close with someone quickly, because I'm

not like a bullshit person, so I think I'm pretty much the same wherever I go. Like if you talk to me on this podcast, or we met on the street, I have no secrets. You guys know everything. And so I feel like I also, and I'm not like a small talker. So if I meet someone, I can connect with people, like really, pretty easily. I can tell. And yeah, I'm like, oh my god. So I feel like I can kind of go there and that a lot of people think they might interpret

that as wow, this is really could be something where I'm like, not that I don't feel with everybody, but I can do it. Can I answer your question? Yes. Do people fall in love really really fast? More than you fall in love with them. Yes. Yes.

That's historically is what's happened. Let me tell you the same thing. Yeah, for sure. And that feels good though, too, right? It feels great, right? Yes, it feels great until it doesn't, until you feel like you're fucking drowning, right? And I think what I'm really working on right now

is understanding like how much love and affection I can actually receive, not necessarily how much love and affection I can give. And I think that's been my struggle recently. Is it easier for you to give it or to receive it? Well, what we talking about here. I don't know, anything. No, no, yeah, I think it's much easier for you to give it or to receive it? Well, what we're talking about here. I don't know anything. No, no, yeah, I think it's much easier for me to give than it is for to receive anything.

Right. But you're saying you're not seeing several than it wants. So this is more like a few months and a few months and a few months and then they're all like, what are you going now? We just mean. But a few weeks and then how do you... You know, and like, you meet the people that are like, yeah, that say they love the same type of way that you do,

or say that this freedom exists, and you realize it maybe it doesn't. Right, or they'll say anything to get, like, oh yeah, I wanna be polyamorous, I wanna be open, or I'm just jealousy come up for you a lot. I'm the least jealous person you'll ever meet. Like, I have no problem dating somebody and then sleeping with other people.

Not at all. Not at all. But what about the people that are in love with you? Do they get jealous? Oh, yeah, right? That's the problem right they get possessive and jealous Like I use to have this thing with men They'd be like oh, yeah I love that you're so independent and free and then eventually they would say something to the effect of oh I love that your sort out there

But I really just want to put you in this box or let me just put you in my pocket Yeah, there's a million different ways of her that they wanna own it and keep it to the set. So what they're so attracted to in you, they actually just wanna own it, lock it down. What I think it is, I think that- Sip your wings. You and I both share this like same light, right? And I think that people are attracted to that light.

But once they realize that the light is ours, and it's just there for them to stand in, to not take, we immediately become the asshole. Right, yeah, I guess so. You're right, that is what happens. Well, look how stuff aware you are. This is happening. I mean, I think this is the next step, right?

Well, it sounds like it. My path. No, understanding, also. Yeah, exactly. And then being really honest, I don't think that I was as honest with people earlier, because I, even from a young age, I never felt that monogamy made sense to me. Like, I was in college, and I was as honest with people earlier, because even from a young age, I never felt that monogamy made sense to me.

Like I was in college, and I was like, I'll do it, because there was really no other options on the table. But then I always felt like I struggled with it. And you're also a woman too, so it's like it's a totally different space for you. It is, and so but now I think it's just, now, and I think it's just great

that you're shedding light on it. It's like people don't have a lot of great role models of what it means to be bisexual and to be open in the world and to be a man who's bisexual. Like people just say, oh, you're just gay. It was funny. I was sent to your Sheila Nevin's podcast, which I love Sheila. I used to be a documentary filmmaker before I was before I did sexual demolition. I just, I was such a Sheila Nevin's fan.

She was like the queen. She still is. You're like, I just want Sheila Nevin to meet with her. She ripped me apart. She was so pretty. She said, honey, you still is. You're like, I just want you to live in with her. She ripped me apart. She was so funny. You're not, you're not. You're not bisexual. You're gay.

You're gay. Are you seeing a psychiatrist? She was hilarious. She really gay. But right, she was just like, but I get that. That's a generational thing. It's a generational thing. It really is.

So you're really in this place right now. Well, look, I think that at the end of the day, we only believe what we see. And we've seen predominantly one story since the beginning of time, you know, and it is a white man and a white woman with kids. Right, exactly. That's the only thing we've seen. And now in the last like 50 years,

maybe a little bit longer than that, we're seeing all these other stories. And in the last 10, 20 years, and now with social media, we're seeing all the stories. And we're starting to believe that more things are real. Which is what I love, for possible. I'll turn to relationships, polyamory, light styles. And it's for me, it's all about normalizing the quote-unquote abnormal. Right. So let's talk about sex for a minute. Let's talk about sex. Just like we did it.

How we met being full circle to our panel. I don't know, how was it changed for you over like even let's say since you got sober, I would imagine sex a lot more. Totally different. Yeah, sex was like a lot scarier once I got sober. Yeah, right? Yeah, because I mean I was so used to like going out

getting wasted and bring somebody home. Right. Not like random people, but like having drunk sex. Yeah, and it just made things easier or a lot harder because you couldn't get it up when you were blacked out. Black way. But yeah, you know sex, sexes become a lot more sacred. It's since my sobriety. Okay. And I think like I'm really, I'm really starting this exploration of my own sexuality and acts of sex to better understand how I can like

reach higher levels of it. So like more do you mean more energetically using breath? Yeah, having more intense sex Opening my mind to other possibilities of what sex can be and what sex can look like and what sex can feel like and Justcribe one of those experiences you've had lately where it was like this is a different experience Because I'm always talking on the show to my listeners and I'm always saying like our sex lives I want everyone to have expansive sex lives to not be set in the you know We I know he gets off she gets off, that's what we do, we fall asleep.

But it's like, no, there's so many ways to have sex and to enjoy it in our bodies, have an unlimited capacity for pleasure. And I think we don't even tap into it. Like they say, use 10% of your brain. I don't even think that we understand our sexual capacity, they're like our bodies, what we're capable of. So, yeah, I mean for men, very prostate play. I think that that is like something that I'm starting to understand more what that actually means and like how to achieve

Next level orgasms from from prostate play, right using toys or fingers or And Oh, I gave you flashlight. I'm gonna give you flashlight too. Yeah, nice. Yeah, I think work. Yes Because then your orgasm tell me what's that explain? I'm gonna give you a flashlight too, yeah. Nice. Paging work, yes. Right. Because then your orgasm, tell me, let's just explain, I talk about edging a lot, but you explain your experience with it for men. Because I think that I want men to go there.

So, yeah, edging. So, you're jerking off, right? You got some good porn on or something, and you stop right before you're about to come. Okay, and let it sit for a second. And it's hard to stop right before you're about to come. Okay, there's like a set for a second. And it's hard to stop right before you're about to come. There's like a quarter of a second that exists in that space.

And you've got to let it breathe for a second, right? Not touching, because if you touch it, it's going to go. And kind of start back again slow and get back up to that point and see how many times in a row you can go and do that before you come. And it's all about controlling different muscles, right? back up to that point and see how many times in a row you can go and do that before you come. It's all about controlling different muscles, right? And the longer you wait, the better the orgasm will be.

And the more you will come, too. Like you're just building up this like shot. And it just, yeah. And just like actual come. It's like, you guys love that. I'm gonna come to shoot it across the room. So much come. Exactly. So it's more intense. I like that. Do guys love that, not a calm. It's a shooting across the realm. So much calm. Exactly.

So it's more intense. But it's more like, I like that. Do you do that in your own, your own practices? I was just going to say, and you can do it with other people too. Exactly, right? It's so fun. Yeah.

And it's like a juicester control. Female edging, that's a thing. Yeah, it kind of is a thing. Yeah, definitely. It is a thing. What do we call it for women? I mean, like, it's not really edging, but it's more like delaying your, I think

it's the same thing as building up your energy. It appears to theme out for women, which it's a more of an advanced practice, because I think a lot of women are just happy when they have an orgasm. It's harder for women, right? It's more elusive. Like, one thing happens in the disappearing orgasm. But I think it's great to practice like when you're masturbating, when you know you're going to get there, and it's the same thing and you stop, and then you build it up again,

and it's much more explosive Yeah, explosive, amazing. And then you could start to have full body orgasms. And then you just hold, I know a lot of men who've done that kind of practice where they just actually don't even ejaculate. Right. Just hold on to the body. So that's what I was wondering if you were talking about. There's definitely some tantra work in my future.

Yeah. Same. I haven't tapped into it quite yet, but I know that it is something that I will study at some point soon, for sure. Do you remember American Pie? Do you remember that one character that was like working on his tantra for basically the entire movie? And he was like standing by a tree

or jerking off or something. Even though I'm talking about it, was that character's name? Shit break, yeah, exactly, exactly. I love it. Yeah. Well, also, for me, I'm also like really, at a point in my life where I'm understanding

what the difference, and if there is one, really, between having sex with a man and a woman, and someone in between, the two, right? And I think I'm opening myself up more to doing the work on understanding where those differences lie right now. What would you say are the differences between a sexual man and woman?

I mean, like on a basic level, it's just most of the time easier having sex with a woman because you don't have to like prepare everything else. You know what I mean? Right, you know? You know, empty like. Right, yeah, clean up and it's just a different whole, right?

It's a different, it's a different whole. And of a giant egg, you know, naturally loobs, it's like, it's just, we're good to go. It's smooth sailing for the most part. And it can be that way with a dude, just like, you have to get to that point. And just energetically it's totally different, right? Like granted there are there are men that I've slept with that are extremely feminine, right? That is much more like having sex with a woman than it is having sex with a man. There are women that I've slept with that are extremely masculine that like definitely dominate the entire experience. And it's like a lot more primal, more like having gay sex. And I've had sex with trans people

that just fuck it all up. And you're all confused. And what's going on? It's a must be. So you've had sex with trans women? Yeah, I have not had sex with trans men. I would love to have sex with a trans man at some point. That should not be hard for you.

No, right. But I'm not like trying to- Who's that time? You're so busy. But I'm almost like not like being like, oh, hey, trans man, you want to have sex with a trans man at some point. That should not be hard for you. No, right? But I'm not like trying. Who's that time? You're so busy. But I'm mostly not like being like, oh, hey, trans man, you want to have sex. I want to fall in love with a trans man at some point. Right, really?

Yeah. Okay, so you seriously, you have these experiences where it's kind of like when you're out in the world, it's a blank slate. You're just sort of like, who am I attracted to in this moment? You're not going through your phone when I get late tonight. Tonight I want to be with a less dominant female. I won't be right. It's just sort of like, we're who am I attracted to in this moment? You're not like going through your phone when I get late tonight. Tonight I want to be with a less dominant female.

I want to be right? It's just sort of energy. It's energy. I've never gone through my phone and like, been like who am I going to have sex with tonight? I'm just thinking like of what you're, because I gauge my, what I'm into based on the porn that I'm watching.

Oh, okay. What porn are you watching? I mean, I watch everything. Like, what porn? Tell me. The last couple days I've been watching straight porn. Straight porn, okay. Yes, but I mean, I've watched every type of porn that exists. Do you always watch porn when you masturbate?

Not always. Right. So you go on and off the... I got it. So you're at a straight thing. So then it's in your mind. Right. So the porn is dictating your sexual behavior, your sexual... In my head. Okay. It's not necessarily dictating like the behavior, your sexual... In my head.

Okay. It's not necessarily dictating the type of sex that I'm having. But I know that if I'm dating a dude, and I'm all of a sudden start watching straight porn, I'm like, oh, something's going on. Right, that's right. So that's interesting.

So is it more like you're craving, let me back up. I've had periods of my life where I'm sleeping with I actually am sleeping with a few different people and I can kind of, when I'm with them, it's very like I'm present, I'm there. It's not just like I'm trying to get off. You know, there's a real connection. And so I'm wondering as you're in these places with people like what, what happens? You said like, you know, you're with a gay guy there, every sex with them, you start watching straight porn. But there must be something else that goes on. Like are you just getting like not as,

because you're saying you don't do any overlap. Like I could very easily see like, I'm into this guy, but I just watch them straight porn. And so I want to go have sex with the woman right now. But yet, go back to the gay guy then of the week. And not even necessarily gay, but bisexual. Okay, bisexual, sorry. Yeah, no, it's fine. No, I'm already messy. I don even necessarily gay, but bisexual. Okay, bisexual, sorry. Yeah, no, it's fine.

No, I'm already messy, I have to. No, it's totally fine. I usually day gay men, not bisexual men, sorry. Right. Well, why not bisexual men? I've dated one bisexual dude. And. Wow, interesting.

Yeah. It was actually, it was almost like we both knew too much about each other because we were both bisexual. It was, I don't know, there was something about it that it was like, we have to go spread this message instead of like giving it to each other. That's what I was saying. And that could have nothing to do with the fact that we were bisexual,

just that we were similar people. But I don't know, yeah, I haven't, I've only did one other bisexual dude. All right, interesting. Because I feel like that there is still people so but I don't know, yeah, I haven't. I've only dated one other bisexual dude. All right, interesting. Yeah. Because I feel like that there is still people still don't get even though, like, like, he's just gay or he's not like we said earlier. So do you have a type, though, within each one of these, not at all?

I mean, kind of. Yeah. Who won't you date? Is there any traits that's like a turn off for you, let's say? Like physical traits? I hate to do the physical thing, but yeah, I mean, kind of though, like is there anything that just, or something that you lean,

how about what you lean towards more than not, rather than positive and negative? I lean towards men that are like, like, brawny men, like baseball player looking dudes. And I like, historically, I like the women in my life to be very much so pocket-sized. Pocket-sized.

Yeah. Cool. Yeah, baby. I'm, yeah. OK. Love to know that. That's great. So sex.

Let's talk about sex, baby. So OK, what about with women in bed, the difference we were talking about, just like the cleanup, but what about just like four women in like four-foot? Like what have you learned about having sex with women? As far as like- There's a softness about having sex with women that I'm really into.

And there is just even like their skin, right? Like I am as attracted to like beautiful supple soft skin as I am to like a hairy fucking lake. Like it's interesting. It's so interesting that your mind goes in all these different things. You're so open. And like a soft face and like small lips compared to like a big

dude's face with a big fucking beard. Like I can get down with both. Right. And it really is just kind of where I am. Where I am. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's just so fascinating. Is there anything that you've learned about women I got at you're with so many different kinds of women? But if you had to say there's like these certain things about women that is kind of a universal truth, even though we're all different. Is there anything that like it seems like women all, or this works for a lot of women.

Like they really like it when I, we're talking sexually, or we're talking, sexually. I mean like I love eating pussy. Awesome. And I think all women love that. Yeah, many do. I believe, okay, so this goes, okay, I believe that many women do and that for women, there's

some women who really don't, like, they're super sensitive and like, does doesn't feel good. But I think it's a good thing. There's a couple of girls that have dated that have totally been not into it. And they actually, like... They weren't in Twitter, you weren't. No, they weren't in Twitter at all. This was years ago. But the sex actually didn't work at all because of it.

Because you were... They were so unattached to their own bodies that sex past it didn't even work. That's what I think. I think that there's a lot of women who don't yet know that they could love oral sex because of perhaps some shame around their body or... There know, there's something more intimate about eating pussy than there is having sex with a woman. I think so too. But I love that you love it because there's a lot of men who I think they just do it

to get it's a means to an end. No. And they don't love it. I could do it for hours. Wow. That's amazing. That's a great deal. That's like, that's the ultimate, I think.

Yeah. Really. There's something about the tongues in my family too. On my dad's side of the family, we all have like really strange, large tongues that can do all of these weird things. Like at one point, we're all sitting at dinner. My dad, my two brothers and I, and we all like started doing these things. And we was like, oh, we all can do this. You wonder why you love your relic quiz.

That's a great thing too. So you're like the perfect specimen for many women. So you like oral sex. Anything that you, I love giving oral sex tips to my list, which is a lot of men listening. What would you say something that you're like, this is always like, I mean, I just think like slow,

wide turns, you know, like with your tongue, slow wide turns. Okay, flat tongue, like switch it up. But you gotta switch it up. You gotta switch it up. You gotta switch it up. You gotta, you know, just keep changing as soon as she gets comfortable with something, you gotta make it into something else. But always go slow.

Don't start with the limit. And try every thing. Don't start with the try everything. Like definitely start slow. You can get to the everything if she's really into it. But take your time and like, you know, explore her. And like use your hands and use your face and like just forget all of it.

Get into it. I'm getting hard right now. Just talking about this. I'm getting wet, so that's cool. You're super done. That's awesome. I feel like that there are, I just, and I don't know how to explain this to a lot.

Do you want me to leave my freezer? Yeah, you guys should all leave. But I feel like, yeah, there's just a lot of. Can I, have you ever had an orgasm on air in here? Um, no. Well, how come? Why not? No, no. Um, so it's so... It's so sex-themely.

I know, right? It's like not really. Has anyone ever asked you that on here? People have asked me, like, so I'm going to actually very recently, and we said, you realize you should just have a sex on your... It workouts on your podcast, and I'm like, yeah, but... No, I haven't. No, I haven't ever. Because I'm...

That would be kind of fun, right? Absolutely. Might go in a different direction, though. I just feel like, yeah, but no, I haven't. No, I haven't ever. Because I'm, that would be kind of fun, right? Might go in a different direction though. I just feel like then it's like, I don't know. But you're right, there's been a lot of people like it's sex with Emily, but it's not about sex with Emily. Wow, something on the bucket list said, maybe I should. I don't know, have you an orgasm in your podcast? No, but my show's not called Sex with Niko.

If my show was called Sex with Niko, I would definitely be having orgasms on my podcast. I'm working on a TV show right now and developing a TV show. And there's an idea for an episode that's all based in Sex Therapy and me hiring a surrogate and having sex with a sex therapist on air.

Oh, okay. Well, maybe we can do that. Are you in or are you auditioning me? Oh, I mean, if you're up for the job, yeah, we can. I air. Oh, okay. Well, maybe we can do that. Are you auditioning me? Oh, I mean, if you're up for the job, yeah, we can, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's pretty, that's true. Yeah, I know. I probably should. I mean, I probably should have naked photos, because I don't know. I just never wanted to know. You don't ever take a picture of yourself naked? Not even just for yourself. In your whole life.

So busy. Oh, I. Yeah. First of all, I bet you look so good, naked. Yeah, you know, I love my body. I just, no, I have not. I guess I got this last, I've been doing this show. I thought I don't wanna send it to somebody

and then it's gonna be like, out there. Yeah, I'm at the point now where it's like, well, you're like naked, okay, in a lot of your pictures, naked-ish. Like naked-ish, I guess. But your body's amazing, so it's like, you're just always naked, like the pictures take the clothes off, right?

I mean, my body is not always amazing. It like may look like it is on Instagram, but that's like, that's work. I think it's like, yeah. Those filters are really hard to work. Come on, no, but I know how to take a picture and have my body look a certain way. I don't know that, I need to learn that.

Well, we can have a lesson. Okay, really, because I feel, yeah, I feel like I just don't know how to stand. I'm always, I don't know, yeah. Okay, I'll work on that, Put on a bucket list as well. Because I have like a few bikini shots on Instagram, people like, like more likes that I've ever gotten. And they were barely like,

pose when my college sheds do that, cause it's all about likes, I don't know. Hmm, what, I think about it. We got a lot to do on it. Well, yeah, I'm also, I have a podcast coming up too. So I'm gonna turn the tables. Oh, yes. I'm doing his podcast shortly after this.

So you're gonna have to check both of them out because God knows what is going to happen on that podcast. I just want to know more about you. I know, right? Well we'll get to that in a minute. See now this is good that we started. This is like our four-play and then boom Emily, all about you. Nico, you're awesome.

Everyone check out Nico's podcast. Love bomb. Yeah. And you're awesome everyone check out Niko's podcast love bomb. Yeah. And you're all of your social media. Thanks for having me on. I'm really fun. Yeah. What's your social media? Oh I actually do have questions for you.

Yeah. Five questions for you. Go ahead. Five questions. But what's your social media real quick? I have it here but this document is. My Instagram is Nico Tortorella and ICO TORTORELA. Twitter I think it's actually getting changed today

to be that exact same thing. I don't have Facebook, don't have Snapchat. We'll put it, it'll be on our... Instagram to the spot, yeah. It'll be on our social media and our website. I can't even speak. These are five questions we ask everybody ready? Yeah, I got it.

Here we go. Okay, biggest turn on. Confidence. Biggest turn off. Jealousy. Okay. Sexiest part of a man's or I will ask you a man or a woman's body sexy is part of a man's body is right above his like bush okay yeah if he has a bush yeah well he's definitely gonna have a

bush really yeah okay so you're not into full grooming. Men or women. Right. Right. Okay. I got it. You want a bush. A full bush or just a trim? Full bush. Really? See, that's where too. That's a whole nother friggin' show. Yeah. We could talk about. We could talk about sex for hours. Like, I literally used to do hostels on just shows in grooming. Okay. Woman's body. God. There's a couple couple. Like side, like rib, side boob situation, also like right under an ass cheek, and like the spot in between her pussy and her asshole. Yeah, perineum, it's good one. Okay.

What's the one thing you wish you could tell your current and or all future partners about your bodies, your needs? Like what do they know? Like what do you? I wish they would all just know blank. I'm sensitive. Your body sensitive? And emotionally. Yeah, physically and emotionally. Well, now you just told them because they're all going to listen. All right, thank you, Nico. Thank you. This was awesome. This was fun. Thank you to my amazing team and thank you, everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com.

Woo!