Sex With Emily - Best Of: Sexy, Not Sorry with Moxi Cox

Episode Date: November 17, 2017

On today’s show, we’re throwing things back to when sex-positive Suicide Girl, Moxi Cox, joined Emily to talk everything from sex toys to alternative relationships to kinking things up! Emily, Menace and Moxi help a few listeners go from “fluff” to “rough” in the bedroom, Moxi talks about how to successfully navigate open relationships, and she even shares some of her own sexual experiences – from her top porn picks to her favorite ways to orgasm. If you missed it once don’t miss it again! Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Intensity, Magic Wand, System JO DONA, Adam & Eve  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. We have an exciting guest on the show today. We have the multi-talented Moxie Cox in the studio. You may know her from her work with the suicide girls, but this sex-positive bombshell is also a blogger, a sex toy enthusiast, a sex educator, radio personality, and so much more. From her favorite sex toys, sex visions, and more, we're getting into it all today. Nothing. We'll be held back. This is it.

We're getting into it. This is the real sex talk here with Moxie and Menace. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our secret institutions. Betrubized they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Avaline. That's 5 sex. Eyes that mock our secret institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a bygone way. Hey, Aveline, you got a boyfriend?

Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Oli? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink?

And we not talk about sex so much. Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm off here, I'm sound. I'm going. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Aveline's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between for more information go to sexwithemlee.com where you can check out all of our podcasts, sign up for mailing lists, follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, all that good stuff because we do a lot of

goddamn podcasts and a lot of good things. You can have better sex. I know how many podcasts are you up to nowadays? I lost count after like 2000. It must be like But how many are you putting out a month? Oh, I put out two weeks. So eight a month? Awesome. Yeah, I ran into a sex with them and the listener just recently and he listens to all of them And he loves that you always have fresh content because a lot of people at podcasts, they may be only put one out a month or something like that. And you got to weigh in everything.

And you know what the thing about? And you're just pumping them out every day. I've never stopped. And this is, oh, this to you, Menace, a lot of it is that. So when I started, Maxie, I was just doing a podcast, you know, in my living room, just as a hobby, 10 years ago. And then I, like, which never happens. I got a live radio show on CBS radio or a

Menace was just a little person there, a little little man. I helped her to understand the fundamentals of the radio. He was living the board and he was sleeping at the radio station at the time. But we started out that way, which is pretty awesome. I met I made sure we kept our license because yeah, I almost lost it because you can't spoil the radio apparently. You can't say masturbation, but the best thing is even when the station wanted a business, I didn't have a live show, I was like, I gotta keep doing it. Menace, thickens it thin, we've always like every week turned out at least one on two podcasts. Even when you guys were, you were in LA and menace was like,

it's been a good deal. With my little crappy device, we'd be like, putting it like, we tried. And that was a little care for me, but he won't admit it. Yeah, when she was in Los Angeles, I was in San Francisco. I'm like, all right, how can we still do the radio show together? So what we would do, we would hit record on, she would hit record in L.A. on a system.

We're singing a closet, because it was a bad sound in my hand. And I would have hit record in San Francisco. And then we would talk to each other over a cell phone with earbuds. And then I would match up the audio where it sound like we're in the studio together. That's a cheap way of doing it, people. Well, I didn't have a fancy studio. Like, thousands of dollars. Yeah, but it was good.

We've always been saying, is we've always kept the band together. Yeah, but in the listeners, I've always been super loyal, so that's cool. So, thank you people for downloading. I know, they have, thank you. But this is all you, this is your show. I'm just here when you're making ends of many.

There you have it. I don't know that many minutes, but I also want to say that, I just want to thank everyone too, because this last month, it's been crazy. We've had so many even more listeners and downloads and we've been hearing from just people across the board Maybe it's because you've been talking about a lot of this and now we've got boxy on I know It's gonna change the whole that like the whole thing's gonna go freaking crazy You had to pull me down from San Francisco to I know when did you get here from school?

I've been here just a year and a half I was in LA and then I moved to San Francisco for a year and then I came back to LA. Why did you leave San Francisco? I do hold not enough people. Too cold, not enough cool people. Yeah, I know. I know.

I hope in. Cute, yeah, not enough guy. I didn't know that time moved here. Everyone's like everyone there is ugly, which is such a bad thing, because I don't think that's true, but people make those jokes. I mean, if you're seven,

you can go to San Francisco and be at 10. But now we used to joke, my friends at sevens seven think they're tens. I'm like no it's true I'm not really a ten people have like crappy attitudes. It's true. I agree 100% We're all here now So we're all together in one room. I know I love it San Francisco is a beautiful city. The only thing that makes it crappy is a lot of people inside of it And it's a lot of people that are not actually Yeah, no, no, it's from anywhere.

Well, I was born and raised in there. Well, you're like, you're only. I know, but I'm just saying, and I think that's what also gives LA a bad rap too. It's a lot of people that come from, you know, some random town where they were like, a nurse or something. The shame, or something.

Yeah, I really come here and then they reinvent themselves and become a complete douche and give a city a bad name. And I think that's what happens in San Francisco a lot too. Yeah, it happens everywhere. But you can still find cool people. You can't find cool people. I'm starting.

It's been three years I've been here now. Can you believe? How many people have you slept with since you've been here? Oh geez. You know, not as many as you'd think. Yeah. Do I really have to answer the question? I don't answer questions like that.

I feel like I went through a huge dry spell and I moved to San Francisco. There was a period of time where I was like, I don't have a regular fuck buddy. I haven't slept with anyone in two months, which is the huge deal for me. Yeah. And then I moved back to Los Angeles

and it was like, man, bam, thank you man. How did you meet me? Right back on track. How do you meet us? Well, was it guys being, because they're, they're pussies, so I just go, right? They don't have aggressive at all.

I don't know what it was. We used to say that like check your balls up and go and get. Yeah, exactly. A lot of mommy issues in San Francisco, a lot of negative reactions to any like female being aggressive or like sexual one anyway. Right.

And I used to do a lot of online dating Tinder, okay, Cupid, to meet guys and girls. And it was, there was some bad experiences. So when you got here, when you moved to LA, did you find that it was just, yeah, I mean, I was again, still using online dating. And also I had kind of like, I mean, I had lived in LA for six years before I moved to San

Francisco, so I had already like, cultivated, yeah. I was back and I was back with renewed energy. And I'm ready to go. I remember when you moved to San Francisco's I had already like cultivated. Yeah, I was back and I was back with renewed energy. And I'm ready to go. I remember when you moved to San Francisco, I'm like, why are you moving here? Because it just seemed like it wouldn't be your scene. It wasn't a jam.

She had a chicken. People like Dei Lai San Francisco. The thing is, and I love it, it's still in my heart, it's over 20 years. But it's a beautiful city. You know, the eye fun, interesting people, you know, you're not as caught up in the looks and the glamour celebrity. It's not about that. It's about like who you-fun, interesting people. You know, you're not as caught up in the looks and the glamour celebrity.

It's not about that. It's about like who you are as a person. No one cares where Cargidrive. I mean, of course some people do, where you go, but not my people. But I do think that LA has just been, I've met so many interesting people. It's been a good change, I think.

And I think they're more laid back in. I think it's not a good thing. I'm not sure. My contract doesn't get renewed. I'm back now. No, no. I'm back now. Men have stopped not having happened. I'm back now, I'm going now. Who knows, I'll never happen.

I grew up in the Bay Area, so yeah. So my childhood was all there, and I think in moving back to San Francisco, I was kinda like, oh, I'll be closer to my family, and it'll be good, and I just never found my people there, and I was like, I need to get back to it. It takes a while to find your people everywhere, but San Francisco people often say it's very clicky

and it's harder, so I'm glad you're here. Yeah, I thought the kinks scene was gonna be super amazing in San Francisco because of kink.com and the armory and I did a lot of events with them, but I still was not ever plugged in the way that I was in Los Angeles. Right, and so you're really okay, so just to give you some more background,

I'm Moxie, you're, I've got just, you're the nude model, sex toy expert, psychology student, sex positive activists. California native, you love listening to music, producing used bookstores when you're not getting naked. Yeah, I had a experience recently, I just started school again. And so I walked into one of my psychology classes

on the first day, and my professor looks at me and he goes, you look fake, familiar. And I was like, and I know of course it's like, I've been naked on the internet for a decade, so at some point, I'm sure he's running to me. But I'm just like, oh, did you teach at Cal State all the way? And he's like, no, no, just looking at me with that look and I was like, I can't even sit down.

He's like, did he ever figure it out? I don't know if he has, I don't know. Oh my god, that's so funny. I'm sure, because you're like, yeah. Do people come to you all the time and say, you look familiar? Sometimes, I mean, I was in New York recently and I walked into a coffee shop and some guy came running

and after me and he was like, oh, you, you, I forget your name, but I follow you on Instagram. No. And I was like, you. Probably. Obviously, you're Moxie Cox. Yeah, MoxieCox.com is my blog and that's why I write about

sex toy reviews and other things sexually related. But I mean, I've been Moxy, suicide, I became a suicide girl in 2008. So that's been a while now. Yeah, let's talk about suicide girls. Not everybody knows what suicide girls are. So can you give us a little break? I think of suicide girls as kind of like the alternative playboy was the original kind

of thing of it. So it's girls that are, you know, confident and maybe alternative looking, getting naked and kind of coming together and holding the banner of this like alternative lifestyle type thing. And it's been really cool. I've met all of my closest friends through Suicide Girls. There's a great community. It's a web community based around the models of Suicide Girls.

And there's so many different types of people that have come together through obviously wanting to look at naked girls, which we all like to do, that all these different groups have formed, people that are interested in technology or people that are interested in certain types of music and all these things. Yeah, they have a community board

with all different types of subjects. Before the internet was what it was today when it was just kind of like chat rooms and there wasn't so many different outlets for meeting people online. Suicide Girls was there. Right, and you're like more alternative. Right, do you think of like tattoos,

like dark layer, all that stuff? So, and do you have a lot of friends, a lot of your friends here? Suicide Girls too? Yeah, absolutely. There's over a hundred suicide girls in Los Angeles. And so through doing events together, and you kind of find that you have a common bond with these women that you meet that also like to get naked and...

How did you get into it? Have you always been more alternative and then you were like, oh, you know, get back to it. I, at one point I was in a study of rod programming and I was living in London and I was super, super broke. And I answered an ad for art class looking for someone to compose in front of the class naked. And I was like, and they were going to pay cash. So I was like, OK, I could do this. So I'd go and I show up and I'd like D-Rome

and I stand in front of the class. And I was like, I left. And I was like, wow, that was really easy. And that was pretty awesome. And I feel pretty good. So then I started just to look for more jobs where I could just be getting paid to be naked, which I would just, I like being naked anyways.

And I was surprised at how easy it was for me to just be naked in public. We were hot, right? But also, we have it to not be nervous, not be so proud of us. That's a rare. And then after that, I moved to New York and I did more of that but for photographers.

And then when I moved to Los Angeles, suicide girls had just teamed up with PETA, the animal rights group. And they had these giant B billboards, all down Sunset Boulevard that said, ink, not ink. And it was all these hot girls and tattoos, like basically naked just saying

that they were against animal cruelty. And it was a suicide girls. So that's when you were what it's my first. Then you were like, I'm in, like, those are my people. Yeah, exactly. So I have a question. So I know a court in your blog, we read all about you.

You're raising a Christian household that saw sex as a marriage-only situation. Absolutely. Which a lot of people I think can relate to growing up in a very religious home where sex is just for procreation. And a lot of kids stuck in that. And even if they decided to get rid of it, they can't get out of those feelings of sexes. I'm doing something wrong in chain fall. So I'm wondering how you were

able to break through that. Yeah. I actually was super, super involved in my church as a young adult and as a high schooler to the point where I went to a Christian college, the Bible Institute of Los Angeles. Wow. Yes, the Biola. And when I was there, I saw, I really saw all these people kind of struggling with their sexuality and kind of like, you know, feeling like they were being sinful. And even I did, like, I felt guilty if I wore like a low-cut shirt and it was something

that was at school. Yeah, really anti-like my inner tendencies like myself. And so I did a study abroad program where I wound up going to London. And because I was away from everything and everyone that I knew and basically, I mean, on a different continent, it allowed me to just kind of be introspective

and figure out who I really was at my core. Right, and then you were naked and I was like, that's why to be naked, I have sexual feelings. I've been having sexual feelings. And so I was like, I felt bad for all of my peers in Bible school who were told, can't have sex, sex is bad, no sex thoughts. And then the day that you're married, all of a sudden, never mind, it's good. Have lots of sex.

You're supposed to be having sex with your husband. And to me, I was like, that doesn't make sense. How could they possibly be told, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, now it's okay. Go. Right. And they do in your mind, because like I don't even question it, because they grew up with it.

Right. And they're like, oh, well, now I'm in Bible school. So did you? Oh, sorry. I was going to ask, so when you came back from this experience, and these started sharing with people, like, what was the reaction? I think people were kind of surprised, but they were also then they started asking me

a lot of questions. I'm sure. Like, I would get all these emails or like Facebook messages and be like, um, so, you know, this, this, this, that. And it became common knowledge to me that it wasn't just me that everyone was struggling with this and it had so many friends that got married right out of graduating from Christian school

who never even saw their significant other naked before they got married. Yeah, I am. And it's like, it's just not healthy. And so I was like, there's a need to, for people to speak out, especially women that, sex is healthy if you're doing it in a healthy way in a way that is good for you.

And masturbation is healthy because it's such like an anti-masturbation thing. Well I was getting an anti-masturbation thing. When did you start masturbating? Yeah, because you have to like repress it for a while. I did. I'm in London. I'm naked. I was like 11 I remember kind of like grinding up with another girl, like a girl, a girlfriend, and we kind of experimenting that way, but we didn't know, at least I didn't know what I was doing that I was like wrong. And then when I was in college at Biola, I was kind kinda like, I don't think masturbation is bad. I still thought sex was bad.

Like, okay, I have sex before I made it. But I'm like, I don't think it says anything like wrong about masturbation. Like, it feels really good. So I started using the handle of a hairbrush, right? Hair comb. And it was that old no-key of phone. Do you guys remember that first no-key of phone. Do you guys remember that first

no-key of phone that everyone had that you like, place, make on, right? So you could like put it on the setting where you could choose how you wanted your phone to vibrate. So I would use that and the hairbrush and the hairbrush. You're like the MacGyver. I would leave the MacGyver. I had to be. I was thinking of maybe being this bumper sticker that was like the hairbrush would like a cross. That was so many women. it so it wasn't a vibrant you made it a vibrant That's because so many of them used to vibrating hairbrushes vibrating toothbrushes. Oh, yeah You're like this doesn't vibrate but I'm gonna find something to make it that will make it This work that's amazing so then you had an orgasm using a vibrator. I did yeah, and then you advanced I did it

Yeah, I didn't lose my virginity With a guy until I was 22 So it took a while and it was a lot of like introspection and then finally being like I'm okay with this and I want to do it And it's not wrong But I had to get to that place in myself mentally before I could actually physically go through with it Okay, and then once I had sex I was like the world hasn't turned to lava. It's not exciting There's not volcano I was like things aren't exploding and and I was like this is actually a really amazing experience

And I'm glad that I waited this long to the point where I had mentally prepared myself You're time to think about it. You were impressed. I went to it. You made a decision. I made my body Exactly. I made my body with a toothbrush and then and sex was amazing for me And even my first time was amazing. Really? The first time I did. Oh, shit. And I my first time was amazing. Really? I was on the first time. I did. Oh, shit. And I felt really, really blessed.

I knew that wasn't that experience and in that regard, I'm glad that I had kind of had the opportunity to wait and to think about it before I had sex. Yeah, no, I didn't way that is really good. So many people just they get into it because they get pressure, they have to. Were you able to convert any of your friends into your... I did, you know, so one of these friends into your? I did you know. So what of these girls that I went to Biola with we wound up moving together and together after I came back into a small apartment in Hollywood and we went on this like sex toy binge where we like bought all

these sex toys like to experiment with and you know it was just kind of like then it became this like breaking out of what we had known where we were in almost like the opposite direction. That's people tend to do the pinching swings in the other direction. Exactly. And so I'm kind of glad that my childhood was the way that it was.

So now I have this passion about speaking to him and about masturbating and like being open with their sexual experience. Exactly. That's probably one of, I would say if I had tackled my top three things, it's really helping women because you said to be able to help the guys a lot too, but women, if you don't know your own bodies, it's not one of, I would say if I'd tackle my top three things, is really helping women because, you said we can help the guys a lot too,

but women, if you don't know your own bodies, it's not gonna work out for you. Like you think that someone's just gonna come in and figure it out. Now you were already done your work, and then you got an orgasm the first time. Yeah, which is great, and I so wear. It is so rare, and I think it goes to a lot,

I tell people about working out your pelvic floor muscles, and I'm like, just like you work out your bicep, like you need to work out your pelvic floor muscles, and'm like, just like you work out your bicep, like you need to work out your pelvic floor muscles and you can do that through masturbation and it's such a good way. So you'd work yours out regularly? I do. I use the K-Gol.

The K-Gol balls? No, I have K-Gol balls. There's a product called K-Gol. Oh, and it has an iPhone app. I've seen those, yep. It's really cool, but there's, I mean, there's plenty of ways to work out your K-Gol muscles. Right, that's good. No, it's too, it's really, really cool, but there's, I mean, there's plenty of ways to make your cake all muscle.

Right, that's good. No, it's too much. It's really, really important. So you said you also started working at a sex toy store. I did. Yeah, and so that was random. I quit a job right at the, the brink of the 2008,

like, whenever one got fucked, right? Yeah. That's a really bad time. And I was like, oh my gosh, but I had always shopped at this one store in Hollywood, Boulevard for a long time. Is it Hustle Hollywood? No, I was called Bed Behavior. OK, but I had always shopped at this one store in Hollywood, boulevard for lingerie. Is it Hustle or Hollywood? No, it was called bed behavior.

Okay. It's such a club running. Like bed, that, right. And I always went in there to get lingerie and stuff for suicide girls' shoots. And I kind of knew the girls that worked there and they're like, oh, you could start working here, like try it out. And I was kind of like, eh, no. I started working there.

I loved it. I've never loved a job more. Tell me why. I really liked people coming in who were kinda like shy and it could be like an old grammar, like a young girl, and helping them find a really great sex way and then having them come back and be like, that was awesome or like recommending Loub

that changes people. I had this one gay gentleman who came in and he's like, I like the Loub, every Loub socks. And I introduced him to some Loub specifically made for anal sex. Like anal sex? Yeah, analize, I think it was analizing it by pure. Anal, pure.

And he came back with a bracelet for me. He's like, you changed my life. Thank you so much. A bracelet? A bracelet, he brought me a gift for recommending Loub. Nice. And it's like, he's so confusing. That's why I teach to talk about specific toys, because I only talk about things that I love and that I've tried. But it's like, so confusing, you go, that's why I teach to talk about specific toys,

because I only talk about things that I love and that I've tried, but it's like, it can be so overwhelming for people. They're like, I don't, I've never had an orgasm. I'm like, I'm gonna probably plunk down a hundred bucks

if it's not so great. So it's, that you work in a store and you can really like tease it out of people. Like, how do you orgasm? And people should go in and ask, I think people go into sex shops

and they never talk to the employees. I know. But you should, because they are, you know, they have a wealth of information about the products they work with and I think that most people want to help you out What was the first toy you tried besides the toothbrush for Giver? Yeah, it was a clitoral like bullet the packer rocket. It was called the nubby bullet the nubby Good, nubs are really good I just like such a weird name, but it was a nubby bull. And it had like a, the speed control was a dial, which is still one of my favorite things when it's a dial, so you can kind of like, yeah, up and down.

You don't have to fiddle at too many buttons. But that thing lost me forever. And now I just go through vibrator. What do you like, yes, so what's your favorite toy right now? Well, real quick, before you, I'm sorry, when you're working at the sex toy shop, what was the most popular item? So how many years ago was it? This was 2008, okay.

So it then became the Nubby Bullet because I was such a huge fan. But I'd be like, I was just more nervous. I was more nervous. I hope they gave you a commission on it. It was the Nubby Bullet Bullet. It was, you know, and it was like,

I was like, it was a, it was a success. I know people are gonna be emailing. I know, right, it's $10. I don't buy it. I don't even know if it's so easy. It was cal exotic, so it was probably. I use the Laila Smart Wand now, which I really like. I feel like L gonna be emailing, right? It's $10.00, don't buy it. I don't even know if it's so easy. So it was cal exotic so it was probably. I use the Lalo Smart Wand now, which I really like.

It's Lalo Smart Wand, yep, that's the one. Yeah, that's the good one. I was so easy to Ross later. And that's like my old stand-up. The old stand-up is amazing. Yeah, yeah. It has a little knob on it. It does.

It's hard to explain, it has a little turning thing on the end of it, and it's like, because like there's an attachment called the Golden Spoon. Yes. That's my favorite one. I kill there's an attachment called the golden spoon. Yes. That's my favorite one. I kill a lot of sex toys. You do?

Yes. Well, you could use them a lot. Do you do photography with using toys inside? I don't. Actually, that's a lie. I do. I've shot a lot with strap-ons, like wearing them or with dildos, but I haven't shot with a guy-rater

because I'm a good library. And you can buy a sexual? I wouldn't necessarily label myself by sexual. I say I'm sexually fluid or sexually open, but I do regularly sleep with both women and men. So you're not in a relationship? Are you in a relationship? I'm in a relationship.

My boyfriend's sitting outside. Oh, that's your boyfriend. Yeah. We have a really cool relationship where he's a touring musician. He actually leaves on tour tomorrow. And so we can sleep with whoever we want when he's gone on tour and when he's here, I can still sleep with women. Okay.

So when he's here, you can say, and when he's gone, men are away. Yeah. And now I have a question. Do you guys talk, is it don't ask, don't tell? No, our thing is we, you can ask as many questions as you want, but the information that you have to give is the morning after you have sex, you just text and say, hey, I just wanted to let you know that. I slept with someone last night. And then the other person can say, ask as many questions as they want.

And then you have to answer. And how have you dealt with jealousy in this world? How have you guys been together first of all? We've been together a little over a year. Okay. And he tours for three months about every two months. He leaves on us for three months, too. Jealousy, it's not that I don't have jealousy.

I think that it's mentally going through why I'm feeling jealous, and I think it's a positive thing to feel jealousy towards your partner, and it's how you handle it, and whether it becomes constructive to your relationship or not. So I think I'm reading a lot, and having resources of people

who have similar relationships, and also understanding the psychology of jealousy and why humans feel the certain way that they do which is how I came to wanting to always have an open relationship. Right. To begin with. What about Emily's dream? I know, I love working on it. I've been working on it over the years.

It's not easy. I don't think that it's not for everyone. And it's not something easy, but it's definitely easier as it goes along and easier than I thought it would be original. And you have to get closer and more into it because there are no secrets really. Exactly. And it's almost the weirdest thing because after you sleep, or at least for me, and I know that he's expressed the same thing, like after we sleep with someone else, you almost miss the other person more.

Right. Because you guys have that intimate connection, that they intimacy, but I have a question for you. Is there any rules with you guys that like you can't, it's hard to say this, but you can't develop an emotional attachment or it can't, everyone has their own rules or you can't sleep with the same person again twice. We have, I don't like him, I say don't sleep with any girls under 21. That's a good rule.

Right? Like, youngins. And also like, no texting that's not like, I'm setting up a date. Right. So, like, no texting after before. That's not like, hey, I'm going to meet you here. I'll meet you here or whatever. Okay.

And how about with you, like, does he? Because he's gone for three months. So he's out and then you're here. And it hasn't ever been a time where you met someone. You're like, wow, this is really great. Because three months is a long time. And then he comes back in town and then you're like, can't talk to anymore. Cause three months is a long time. And then he comes back in town and then you're like, can't talk to anymore.

I think I try to be really honest about my relationship and then honest with myself also and if I feel myself growing attached and I'll just kind of try to separate myself. That's really healthy. That's really healthy because I think that is the hard part. And trying to understand it like, cause I get, I have the ability to really love many people.

I think it's connecting. And so. And you definitely will feel tender towards people that you're sleeping with. And I think that's definitely you can't just sleep. I mean sometimes maybe you sleep with someone you don't feel tender towards them. Yeah. But I don't have a poor hitch in the house.

I think I wouldn't expect him to always feel that way about people that he sleeps with. And I'm sure he doesn't and feel expect me to feel that way. Like you will feel tender towards people. And I think that that's normal. OK. And then you guys also have do you have three sums and stuff? We haven't, I've had a lot of three

sums in the past. I used to actually be part of a triad where it was a married couple and me. Wow. So, but we haven't had a three sum in our relationship yet. I don't, I'm, it's not because we're against it. I'm sure it'll happen at some point.

Yeah, we've been busy. Yeah, we've been busy with other people. It's really busy. You got to coordinate all their schedules and stuff like that. You know, so it's true. So what about updating an L.A. that when you got here? What do you think about that? Like how did you met people online mostly? Yeah, I did. I mean, I eventually there will be a book because my online dating experiences are pretty crazy. I tried to do like an okay cup of day at least once a week for some time in Los Angeles even before I moved to San Francisco and it

was crazy. There's a lot of people out there. There's a lot of people. But what about okay? So you're more into kinky, right? So do you put that out there and how do you explain it to people? They're like, what do you mean? Like kinky can mean so many things. Like what level? I don't think I say k, but pretty much right away if I'm on a date with someone will go there, maybe right away. And it's kind of like a litmus test because you can notice when someone's like scared and they're not into it or if they're intrigued and they want to know more. So is that in the first date you'll even bring it up? Yeah, it's not even that I necessarily want to.

I feel like it always does. It just comes up. The sex. The sex. Does he bring it up? The guy usually? You know, it's probably me. Yeah.

And I can't get around it. I can't get around it. Yeah, I can't get around it. Yeah, maybe that's what it is. And for a long time, I worked for Stockroom.com, which is a king. Oh, yeah.'s what it is. And for a long time, I worked for Stockroom.com, which is a Kinky toy place. And yeah, especially if someone comes back to my house,

I have a lot of Kinky artwork. I have amazing glass dildos on display. Like there's Kinky stuff happening in the house. Yeah, I see. I can sit in my living room. I'm like, what the hell? Yeah, you can't hide it. You can't.

They're sending me a thing to cover, but yeah, I've told you what the hell? You can't hide it. They're sending me like a thing to cover, but yeah, I've to it right. You really can't hide it. But like if you fear with somebody though, he's like on the end of it freaks me out, then you're like, we're not going past this. Yeah, I remember dating someone for maybe like a couple weeks and I like to have sex. I almost always like, there's a point, it's like I always almost, if I felt a connection

with someone had sex on the first date, and then it was like, okay, I wanna have sex with this person again, or I don't, or I wanna see the beginner, I don't, like I knew pretty much like after that, or before that. So you had sex on the first date just so you knew? You're like, why waste time? No, if I wanted to, like if I felt a connection,

and I was like, okay, cool, like I like this person, I wanna have sex. And then it was like almost like, okay, like, yeah, I wanna have sex with them again, or nothing, we might have a connection. It's a job. So are you more dominant or submissive in bed? It depends on with girls I love to strap on and be dominant and be the one like with the dick like it's really I don't know

I have major penis envy But with guys I really want someone to take hold and kind of like be a little bit more aggressive with me. So it depends on the situation. What about like, are you into like bondage, BBSM? Yeah, and my latest thing has been playing with electricity. Oh yeah, there's so many green electric symbiots out there too. What's going on?

Tap to menace. I know menace. Menace, electrosex. Okay. This is the newest thing. I'm going on. Tap to menace. I know menace. Menace, electrosex. Okay. This is the newest thing. So there's this thing it's called the power of tripper. And you plug it into a neon wand.

So neon wand is like, I don't even know how to describe it. Yeah, it's like a clear, it's like a clear, yeah, it's like a wand and you can put different attachments in it. And basically it conducts electricity. So you can use this wand and I can touch you and you would feel like a little shock. Okay. But it feels good. It feels good.

It's just like, menis is inching away from me as we're talking. He's rolling across the room. And so there's this thing, it's called the power trooper. So you basically plug into an electrical source and then it makes you conduct a bit of electricity So your whole body your fingers if you're dude your dick is Putting out tiny electrical and I can feel really good like vibrations and electrical together, too Yeah, so it's it's really really amazing and fun to play. Wait. Okay. Hold on. I feel like superman I know I'm just I'm trying to figure out how hard it is. You're thinking of getting like shocked and like you're

not that part. So I'm plugging it in and then how am I attaching it to my body? So you plug it in and it's like a wire and then it has like a metal square and you can put it in your underwear or like in a garter or how can you bra have or you want to put it on so it has contact with your skin and then you become, you conduct the electricity. Wow. So like your fingers are here. It's really cool.

It's on Amazon. Do you feel, which one do you run? You run a good vibes.com. Yeah, good vibes.com. Use code Emily and get some of the extra stem. I just got the Jimmy Jane touch one that's Alexa, Stimpy 2. Have you tried that? I haven't tried that.

I do love Jimmy Jane products though. Me too. I just got it in the mail so I'm going to try it. I'm going to select it and I'll have perfect to you as well. How it works. But do you feel that the guys like it men like it and you like it just well, or do you like it more more? I can imagine you were smoking weed and doing that.

That'd be crazy. You think, whoa, what's going on? Is there lightning storm? Have you thought weed loop? No, I haven't, but I heard about it. Yeah, I used to. Yeah. Do you like it? I did.

I, yeah, for real. It was a, it was crazy. I. Do you like it? I did it was I yeah for you. It was a it was crazy I don't smoke weed at all Mm-hmm. Maybe everyone's no else so I turned into like total stoner when I was getting fucked and I was using that Blue I was like whoa Yeah, like I just all the sudden transformed into stoner Exactly, but do you feel like it may give you more orgasms? I feel like it long it long it long it's orgasms. Yeah, I mean I tried it what I you know I didn't have a crazy reaction like people have great

reactions and people don't but you know why not try everything I feel like there's nothing I will not try at least I feel the same way like I will I'm open to trying everything and I'll say no or yes exactly okay we come back we're gonna get more into your sex life and some more toys that you love and minus a sex life. I think we just got to push a sex toy out and take home. It's so crazy though, when we started this show about 10 years ago, I would just jokingly say all these crazy sex toy ideas and 10 years ago, like, she like. And 10 years ago, I was like, what, she, she like couldn't even grasp it. I was like, wouldn't it be cool if I, let's say,

I'm here in San Francisco and then some girl is like in Illinois and I can, you know, plug in something into my computer and have sex with it. And on the other side, like, she could be like getting penetrated whatever yeah Flashlight the key My time Menace you have a millionaire I know menace those are these I'm saying seriously like you've

Used sex but yes the key rule exists have you never used a sex to have any type? Yeah, no I've used sex toys. I just I'll be I'll Want to know which one? Yeah, I'll be, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, That was a felick. It was felick. Are you talking about something? Do we stick it up your bum? No. Oh god, no, man, we're working on them to talk about sex. There's this whole thing that I joke about on the show where it's like, you know, you use a sex toy. It's a gateway drug.

You know, once you get there, next thing, you know, you start with a bullet, and then next thing you know, you're using something that's called a dumb truck. That's true. You know? And I don't know. And then if you're like, who knows maybe, you know, my partner, she's not satisfied with just what we're doing. She's gonna leave you for the vibrator. No, no, no, I'm not afraid of that. But maybe if we're satisfied in what we're doing without the toys, then cool. But if there's something that they want to bring into the situation, then go ahead.

I'm not against that. Right. You're not against it. But you're saying that I should be the pusher in the person that says, I mean, I could, you know what, we need to bring in. No, it's outweights. There's no need. There's no need.

It's that sexist. It's a touchy magic one. It's a different sensations. Your penis will never be able to relax for a long time. You can't stimulate her. You will not be able to relax. What does she love so much? I'm not against that.

I'm just saying if you're okay with what you're doing now, fine. No, thanks. I'm great if it's a coincidence. If you're in a relationship and you want to bring it in, you don't fix it. No, I think that's the wrong attitude. I think, you know, if things are great the way they are now, think of how much more amazing they can be when you had things.

Exactly. I agree. I'm just saying that I'm not gonna be the initiator. You know how you love Disneyland? Yes. And there's all these rides. Maybe I'll see you soon. Maybe it's new rides.

And the sensors, like, oh my god, I can't wait until the next year, we're gonna have that ride. But this year, I'm gonna go upside down and do it three times in the sphairs. We're not that whatever the great rides are there now. Cause I've been there, like, you have in 20 years. But, like, it's not like this ride, the one that you go upside down

and the one where you go really fast on the Ferris wheel or the what's it called? Really cause just so much better, they're both thrilling experiences and don't have to choose. I know I'm gonna blown up on emails, I was like, oh, how's he on set to Emily? He's not a, no they don't.

He's not getting, you know, the anal ripper and all that and that, they knew all that new devices. I'm just saying that, look, do whatever the hell you want to do. I don't care. And if you want to bring it into the situation, I'm not against that either. Okay, good. I'm just saying that I'm not the initiator when it comes to that.

Okay, I got it. Maxi, back to your sex life. I'm very interested in your sex life. Okay, yeah, Maxi, I'm very interested in your sex life. So I want to know about how, like when you say you're into more kinky or bd, I'm like do you feel like in the last few years, even that you're always kind of pushing the envelope with it and you want to keep raising the bar or like,

it's like, no, you've tried lately. I think maybe maybe like five years ago before like kinky was, before there is 50 shades of gray and whatever. And people were more aware of kinky behavior I would always kind of do this thing where it could be a guy that I was having sex with once So that I have multiple time where I'd have a ball gag or right next to my bed So we'd be fucking like maybe he'd be fucking me from behind it And I just put on the ball gag and then I turn around just to kind of like

Tessie yeah, we kind of see what the reaction was. And what would it be? Almost always the guy thought it was really hot but also was like, I've never had anyone do that to me before. See that, okay. That is such a good example there. Because people are like,

we've got so many shows on how do I introduce my partner. Leave it by your bed and just turn it on. Put it on. But you didn't know what to do with the ball gag? Did you know to like pull it? No, no. I just put it on so I just just turn it on. Put it on. But you didn't know what to do with the ball gag? Did you know to like pull it or use it? No, no. I just put it on so I just like have it in my mouth and you're like, you know, turn around.

It's just like the visual stimulation of like, whoa. Right. That's awesome. I think that what about using sex toys with partners? Are you ever like, how do you bring that? I always have a sex toy. I probably eat sex toys by my bed. And I will just, I would always grab,

I mean, having the Hitachi magic one to be wireless is amazing but I'm a one type toy so that when I'm getting fucked from behind I can be using it on my clitoris. Exactly and oftentimes the guys love it because that vibration is reverberating into them and they're like they love it they're like oh god, my balls feel the vibration. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to never feel the vibration on my balls. Exactly. They do. That's a great way to just leave it out.

Just worry what people are going to think. Just leave it out and turn it on and just stop over-analysing it. And do you find that, so you said you orgasm easily, the first time you had sex. How do you typically orgasm? They literally juice that both. I mean, when I'm masturbating, I almost always use a clitorial stimulation and orgasm clitorally. When I'm having sex either with a woman where she's wearing a strap on or with a guy, I can have vaginal orgasms and I do squirt which has had some weird shock like some guys have been really shocked by that

Shocked happy or shocked like what the inner experience that before I'm weirded out Yeah, some really like oh my god. That's awesome and some like so Right now, and do you feel like there's certain positions that make you squirt right like you spot? Yeah, I'm always I'm almost when I'm on top. And then I can kinda like, then I'm kind of also grinding my clay like on the dudes stomach. Right.

And so then I have them having multi-stimulation things happen, but. Do you feel like every time you squirt you're having an orgasm, but can you do, do you squirt without orgasm? I can sometimes, so usually it happens in like spurts of three. So the first time that I squirt,

it's almost simultaneous with orgasms and then maybe like almost immediately two times, like insertion come out, square, insertion come out, square, just, and those times aren't necessarily with orgasms, those are. Right, seven. I feel like it's been what it's aimed for me. Look at both guys like, wow, my God,

I wasn't orgasm. But the first time I do same thing, I totally get it. Man, does it feel like's squirt on you? Uh, multiple times. Were you freaked out or are you like, he laughed, he went to order pizza. I'm like, I did. I gotta go to laundry mat later now.

Uh, I have to bomb it. So tell somebody, bull, just say it is messy. Even if you buy waterproof mattress, I got like a semi-flody boat thing, one of those rafts or something. I got this throw from Liberator. It was like whatever the sex throw that's supposed to be a waterproof. And then it messed with me mentally. So then whenever my partner and I would put it down before we had sex, I wouldn't squirt.

Right, because you're like, you have hair for it. Because you want to do it so bad. Damn, I got to get one of those though, that's a good one. They are good, yeah, but then I was just like like I fuck it because I couldn't it wasn't going to happen. Yeah it's true sometimes you like psyching yourself out I totally got it. Okay so G spot and the G spot orgasms are do you think you have a literal orgasm first and then the G spot?

Uh when I'm having sex yeah when I'm on top it's kind of like I feel like it starts with a clitoral and then it's the whole body. Right and do you feel like that what came naturally naturally for you you had to learn that more through? Like how would you teach a woman? You get these questions all the time. I would say masturbate a lot. Clitorally. It's a tie.

So I mean, and it is, it's muscle memory and it's muscle contraction. It's like the same as if you're lifting weights and you're working out your biceps. So it's just like, it'll come easily to you. You will get stronger. It's the same with your your whole system down there Exactly. And pelvic floor exercises really help yeah, okay, do you want to let's insert some emails?

I'll get your help here. Okay. Thank you everybody for emailing me feedback at sex with amy.com and you've all you Class have been so greatly because you're remembering to give me your age and Relive Emily I have a dilemma. I'm really into rough sex, like hair pulling, spanking, timey up, hard and fast kind of rough sex. My boyfriend isn't. He likes the sensual, slow and romantic kind. Don't get me wrong, every now and then. Which guy wants that, I don't know.

A lot, not you, but every now and then. I think that 9.9%. They want, they want, they want. They want what she wants, and they're like looking for a girl like that. Well, here we go, not everyone clearly. Every now and then it's nice to have that, but he's completely closed the idea of rough sex because he doesn't want to hurt me.

How can I ease the idea onto him better? Thank you, Molly. I'm tossing this to you, Maxi. Tequila. It's always the answer. Tequila, yeah. That's a rough one. I would say maybe start out with something that doesn't feel so violent, so maybe not tying

up, maybe start with some light spanking, like just the hand. Take his hand, show him what she likes to be spanked. Yeah, we're gonna put a ball gag on. No, give him hand on the paddle or hand on his hand to show him. Because some guys do it wrong, except I know it's the worst. I'm like, hey babe, underneath there, like the padding part. Right, where your cheek meets your thigh is a good sweet spot.

Right. If you go up further, you're gonna like hit someone's kidneys or it's a good, so bad guy. I know it's so bad guys. I know it's a good, so bad guy. I know it's a good, so bad guy. I know it's a good, so bad guy. I know it's a good, so bad guy.

I know it's a good, so bad guy. I know it's a good, so bad guy. I know it's a good, so bad guy. I know it's a good, so bad guy. I know it's a good, so bad guy. I know it's a good, so bad guy. I know it's a good, so bad guy. I know it's a good, so bad guy. I know it's a good, so bad guy. I know the right spot is always a good win. Exactly, guide their hands to the right spot. You could also, you know, you could just start talking

about it and say, God, I had to grab my ass. That'd be really hard if you grabbed my ass right now. I mean, I wouldn't say start out with like the blindfolds and like your dungeon, all of that. But also you can talk about fantasies, like is there anything you want to try? But it's hard if a guy that's into the rough side of the thing is gonna, she thinks he's gonna hurt her.

So how do you explain like, like guys because a lot of people watch a few kids together we're talking to America or wherever and they're like I don't get it I do not until actually understand how that feels good and how pleasure and pain are so closely connected and so it can be tricky to get someone to cross over to your side they can watch the porn together yeah reading books is always I'm like a huge book nerd so I'm always like I want to find literature on everything But maybe movies

Yeah, what would you suggest any good porn you're into what do you kind of porn do watch? Oh God I've been stuck in this rut of porn for so long. I love massage porn Massage yeah massage therapist comes in and then it's hard to sex. I don't know why like I thought everyone wants that I thought it was a phase that I was going through. You know, he goes through your phase. I was like, I'm in this phase. And then I was like, I think I've been in that phase for like three years. Nice. How do you know for that?

So I'm watching massage porn. So you're watching massage porn? So is it the woman getting massage? Either way, I'm fine with the woman getting the massage or the man getting the massage or two girls doing the massage. Do you watch porn most of the time? Most times you masturbate or do you have to use your own good old imagination? Usually I start with porn and then a lot of times I wind up just like closing my eyes and using my imagination.

What do you think about? Do you think about my own sexual experiences? Things that I have. Things that I have. Yeah, it could be like the latest one or it could be like I have a few favorites. What's your like go to? I have, few favorites but what you're like go to I have oh God I mean I really like public sex so I have a few like public sex experiences that I

always think about yeah one time I was driving I was moving from New York to LA and I was driving in a cross country and I drove a white Honda Accord it was terrible we've all done that yeah I've had a white Honda Accord yeah we probably all had that same white Honda Accord. But we were on this stretch of highway in Wisconsin or someplace very rural. And we just pulled over to the side and he bent me over the hood of my car

and just like, fuck me on the fruit, you know, with just miles of freeway. That's hot. But it's like the bend over. The bend over, yeah. By the time my car was coming by close enough it was going too fast to really slow down and be like, what's got our sex public sex? That's a hot one How are your parents? What you should totally wear that while having sex?

Have your parents come around? They don't know. Oh, wow. What? No way Yeah, you know, I kind of think that too. I think that if they did know it's like they're gonna say like I'm 30 years old They're not gonna send me down and be like hey, um, we don't approve. We don't approve because what are they going to do like you can't come home for Christmas like They're like begging me to come home, right? Right right right yeah No, and I have a really good relationship actually with both my parents and my siblings and my siblings are aware of what I do And they're very supportive and are they they kept more of the religious my sister has than my brother not so much okay But my parents aren't super

conservative but they are Christian. So they are not. Probably not. They're not like to. I'm telling everyone. She has a relationship with relationships. That's my fine mom. Whatever. Well, thank you so much for being here with us. I can't wait to see you again. Your show and your beautiful and talented. you can find Moxie on Twitter at at MoxieContent that's M-O-X-I-C-O-N-T-I-N. Mettis, you and your pop, where can we find you? Oh, Instagram just Mettis, M-E-N-A-C-E-R, and if you want to follow my dog. It's my dog, Chiril.

I've got the five dogs. Oh yeah, she's a lot more fun than I am. She's really cute. Okay, thank you so much. Thank you, Madison, for great show. And thank you, everyone, for listening. Was it good for you? Email me.

Feedback at sexwithenleave.com.