Sex With Emily - Best Of: Tinder, Sidechicks & Twisted Love Triangles

Episode Date: March 19, 2016

On this throwback show from 2013, Emily and Menace dissect the ever-changing dating rituals of love and sex in the 21st century. From the explosion of dating apps to the the birth of the sidechick, they weigh in on the positive and negative effects of these new trends on our collective dating psyche and success.They also answer answer emails about lying to your partner, office love triangles and making the difficult decision between the “safe guy” and the “bad boy.” She tells the listeners when to give up, give in and maybe even get a new job.If you’re looking for a stroll down memory lane with Emily, then this classic podcast straight out of the vault will satisfy all your nostalgic needs. Listen to what it was like when Twitter wasn’t such a big deal and Tinder was still in its infancy. Don’t miss it! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, I'm Emily from Sex with Emily. If you've listened to the show the last couple months, you've probably heard we talk about a unique product called the womanizer. A while back, the owners of the company asked if they could send me wine to test out, which, of course, you know me, I agreed to it. I own and review a lot of toys, and I was fairly confident I've tried every category of product around, but I was wrong. The womanizer was designed in Germany and unlike anything else on the market, it indirectly stimulates the clitoris using suction. It's kind of like a sexy

erythomometer. It has a silicone cylinder on the face that you place over your clitoris, kind of like how a partner might use their mouth. And while it's on, you can vary the suction and move it around to create an amazingly intense experience. In fact, most women in their focus group achieve orgasm in one minute. That's right, a 60 second orgasm. You can just knock it out if you want. So I tried the womanizer, and they were in kidding. It's amazing.

The suction is adjustable, and you can position it to create so many different sensations. The womanizer is really in the category of its own, and I suggest you check it out for yourself. Go to sexwithmwe.com and click on the womanizer banner for more information. Best by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a fight on day. Hey, Emily. You got a boyfriend?

Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh, my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. I'm off here. I'm so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. Here listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts.

You can sign up for the mailing list which you really should. Put your email address down there. And we will send you some very important information. And we appreciate that so much. And this is the very special show because I'm sitting in the room with menace. Hello, Emily. Hi. We're we're we try to start this podcast like three times, but it feels weird being in the same room. We are in the same room together in San Francisco, California today. Yeah, I love it. It's like we're like in a long distance relationship sort of. We go back and forth the show. No, I need to get to LA. Set that long though. You are an LA. You're an LA every weekend. You just don't see me and it's cool. I don't know. There's been as five minutes from my house.

That's cool. I'm here for like, I was there for half hour last week. Half hour. I know, honey. I know one day when you really love me, you'll say, hey, um, you're the one I want to. I'm moving. I know, honey, I know one day when you really love me, you'll say, hey, you're the one I want to hang. I'm moving, I'm moving out. I know you're the four. You really shouldn't move to LA. I mean, I don't understand why you don't. Everyone thinks it's.

So it's been a really interesting for me. So I've been in San Francisco for the weekend because I was really, oh my God. I went, I want to say, oh my God. Do I say, do I say, oh my God, I do. I have a notice there. I don't think I do, but I think I say, oh, I'm G, like in piping, but I don't Do I say, oh my God, I love it too. I have a notice there. I don't think I do, but I think I say, OMG, like in climbing, but I don't think I say,

out loud. The point is, I'm in San Francisco because I had to move the rest of my furniture Los Angeles. So officially, I had a mover come up and move everything a few weeks ago, and then they forgot some important crucial things, like the bottom of my table, and whenever, so I'm driving the rest back

in my mini Cooper, which is filled, you saw it in front. But I can't bend because good vibrations opened a new store in Palo Alto. You know, good vibrations. So you guys know I always talk about good vibes. I say goodadgoodvibes.com because you can't actually have the experience of going into a good vibration store,

which we're very lucky in the Bay Area. There's like five of them and there's one in Boston. And it's such a unique experience. So anyway, they opened up the Palo Alto store, which is very exciting. And I went to the opening and I didn't realize it, but my Emily and Tony products were on the shelf. I didn't know that they had arrived yet to sell in the store,

so the first store to sell them, and it was the first time I'd seen them on a shelf, and not on the website, Emily and Tony.com. And so it was a very exciting moment for me. It was like, I give birth to these products and there they were in public. I saw you post the Instagram about it. I did post it in a grammar.

It was very exciting. And then the new store was great. And it's so funny because I was thinking about it because my first experience at Good Vibes like I had never had an orgasm when I moved to San Francisco. And I went into Good Vibes because I heard about the store and they're like, okay, I'll go into a sec because all the sex toy stores ride girl were kind of creepy.

Did you guys have like those weird on the side of the road sex stores? Really CD. Yeah, CD. Like there's some man like jacking off into like a newspaper or something. And then I told you when I first walked in there, many podcasts ago that the first thing I saw when I walked in, the thing was called the anal ripper. That was the first sex toy I saw when I was in this. A good vibration?

No, no, into the one's right, the city ones. So that's the difference I could vibe. So if you ever do, like I seriously think if you're go to a city where they have one, that it's just, it's everyone's so pleasant. You go in there and I was like, oh, I have an orgasm. They're like, okay, honey, come over here.

So here's the vibe. They walk you through it until they casual. Have you masturbated? And you know, so it's kind of like what we're doing with these two new interns in Los Angeles right now who had neither one of them. I do not know this when I heard them. Neither one of them have had orgasms. One 19, one 24. And so I was just like, oh my god, that's obviously this is probably why they were drawn to the internship, but they didn't tell me this in the interview. So now, good vibrations actually sponsoring, like in a way, they're orgasms, journey to always what we're calling it. And they gave sense in these huge like beginner kits, like

masturbation kits, like vibrators to start with, like a bullet vibrator, and then like a butterfly kiss vibrator, then the book's about how to like feel good and music and bubble bath. think it was really sweet. And they were like, one of them is writing about it when Ro, on my blog every week about how she's like, man versus the machine, cause now she's having sex with the guy this weekend, but she's been masturbating for like two weeks

and she hasn't had one yet. So she's like, who's gonna do it first, man or machine? It's very interesting. It is interesting. So anyway, that was why I'm here and cause I love good vibes and go into the things and seeing the products and whatever. And I want to see friends, yeah.

Where has all your stuff been this whole time? My stuff. Oh. That's a boyfriend's house, has it? No, my friend's house. That's how you roll. Just my dog is my ex-boyfriend's house. But my furniture was all at my friend's Charlotte's house.

So I didn't have that much when I moved. It was such a, I wasn't really ready to leave yet and to totally commit to LA shock, commit issues. So I kept, so Charlotte kept my few of my favorite pieces and now I just found an amazing place in LA that I decided I'd ready for my furniture. So I had it all moved up and this person forgot stuff. So I had to try it back down, whatever, I craigslist.

No, no. But yeah, so that's where it was, but now I have it all. And I settled in and got my little guest house. It's so cute. You gotta come visit. It's a lot of guests house. Yeah, I moved to West Hollywood. What? Yeah, it's amazing. And so yeah, but that's why I'm here. But it's so weird to be back because I've been gone. Okay, so it's been a year. And I lived here for a really long time. And it's just just so different. The people and the vibes, I went to this party last night though, I was at a foray app.

I went to one of those Burning Man fundraiser party things, and yeah, I was at a foray, I'm dancing. It was really fun, and all my friends came and we danced, and I feel like the guys here are much more metrosexual and do not ask you out, like in Los Angeles. And we've always said this, I always say that. But the guys in LA are super Metro sexual

But they are but they're aggressive. Yeah, they're aggressive So I realize this is that I we've been saying this for years Every town that everyone lives in they say it's the worst place of day. I get that you live nor are you live There's a reason why it's worse. We've San Francisco truly Not one guy. It is the truly no no guy approaches really. They're not like hey, babe. Whatever They're all just like kind of dancing into their thing I don't know what it is but like Los Angeles you go out and just like you're like dodging guys like where they're more aggressive and they're as menstrual sexual but they're

not you know and then and just because they're asking you out the guys in LA also are probably asking out 10 other women because we do in LA but here guys are like it's sweet so she comes at me maybe if not just go to my friends and smoke a bowl yeah or maybe a Twitter later. Exactly. So I've been noticing about dating and all that, but it's great to be back. How about you?

You were away? I know. I just got back. I was in the Virgin Islands, I guess. I was in Saint Martin. I was in Saint Thomas. I went to, I was on a Disney cruise, everyone. OK.

A lot of people, I'm sure that listen to the show are also into Disney, but I saw one on this Disney cruise. I was kind of wasted the whole time, but I took some pretty incredible Instagram photos. It's free alcohol, right? Oh yeah, oh no, no, no. Alcohol's a little bit more, but they have a drink of the day.

Of course, yeah. Price spent about $1,500 on just alcohol alone. But it was an amazing trip. St. Martin is from what you remember. Yeah. St. Martin is amazing. There's a place in St. Martin. You have to go if you go there. It's called Maho Beach, I believe it's M-A-H-O and

airplanes fly right over the beach like giant airplanes fly right over the beach over the crowd into the Into the runway and it is amazing. I took some really cool photos of that It's amazing. So until you're you went with your love. Yes, you're special lady. Yeah, and we will never meet probably not And was it good was it good for you guys to get away together because you you work So I don't feel like you guys do things like this. Do you are you going? No, no, no, you go all the time We're leaving again in like four days.

We're going to Vegas. Oh, okay. Yeah, so we're, I mean, she comes along with me on all my trips. Oh, okay, got it. So when you're going to start like, including her like in your Instagrams and stuff, and when you're going to change your Facebook status, and can we talk about this for a second?

Minus and I've had a long way. I don't know how long I've even listened to this show, but we've been long time. Yeah, but see yourself, forgetful because I've answered this question at 1,000 freaking times. Well, it's a work thing, what? Yeah, because it works though.

Dude, what do you mean? What, because you once worked, whatever? Yeah, and it's a long story, or whatever. She like, whatever worked, who cares? I'm just saying that that's BS and that you can. How's it BS? You have no pictures of her. You never talk about her.

And you're in a sex talk show. All my friends know about her. Yeah, I know. We talk about her too, but this, look, this is your show. No, it's not. I mean, that's it. It is my show. But you don't mind if you cared about it,

you share something. Okay, you're in a long term relationship right now and you should share something about how you feel about this relationship more. It's going, I think it'll be cathartic for you. I think you don't really think about it. And then if you do, you need to, you need to share it. how you feel about this relationship more. It's going, I think it'll be cathartic for you. I think you don't really think about it. And then if you do, you need to, you need to share it. Are you talking about it? You're getting married soon, like, do I need to buy a new dress? Or I mean,

do I need to be prepared for not being invited? Like, I don't understand. Okay. Okay. I'll answer some quick questions. Please. Just give me something new. Like, it's so, I'm so bored with this. We, uh, we both hate children. Okay. Children are not that we hate children, but it's so. Per se, right? So much.

So much. You hate the idea of having children. I. No, you actually hate children. No, like, I like being around kids, but I don't want to clean up the shit. We had it, it's out. Okay, yeah.

I don't want to pay for them. I just. Million dollars of a lifetime having a child. And then they're like always crying and stuff like that. It's just, well eventually they stop. And every person I see is, the has kids are super miserable. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry if you have a kid. I'm sorry. And I'm, you're gonna say that I'm wrong all day long. But some of the times, don't you wish you could just get away. I know, my friends are like, what do you mean you used up to 11.30 on Saturday, like all my friends with kids are like, how did you sleep into them? Like 11 think.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And every, every person we know too, because just because we know a lot of young people that are married, they're not happy either. Being married, they don't like it. So we're perfectly fine going on trips and spending our extra money on, you know, buying Jordans or just doing whatever the hell we want. So we're really content in how

everything is. Great. So she's not too happy and you're in love and what about marriage? Marriage. Again, people that we know are not happy. It's just, we look at it like, let's say we wanted to get married, right? You know how much it cost to get married these days? It's a lot of money. It's a lot of money if you want to throw, and I want to throw a big ass party if I did get married. Right.

Or serious to Kula. Or we can just go to Jamaica, like we just booked, like while we were on our trip to go on a trip to Jamaica. So like, I got it. I mean, but I think you're going to be, but you're actually a emotional thing. You're talking about tactical, like how you feeling emotionally, like are you feeling

like closer, like you love her a lot and like, yeah, take your life partner. She's the one. She, I, uh, wow, we put a lot of pressure on me on this one to say that she's the one. I just want to know. I haven't seen you. I am not looking for anybody else. Oh, okay. You don't want to be in the checks. When you masturbate, do you think about other women sometimes now?

Because you've been together that long. Oh, always. Okay. That's what Cafe Kai does that, right? Eventually. And there's fake fake. And is it typically women that you've slept with in the past, women that you've met or is this porn?

Or you don't watch porn. So when you watch porn, I just... Right. So you actually don't even think about it but when you're with her you think about her yeah okay okay okay that's bad don't tell her that you know because now being on love line so love line if everyone can check out the podcast that's another amazing radio show that's been on for 30 years and I hosted on 39 of dr. Drew it's live in Los Angeles, and San Francisco and many other, how many other cities? Oh, it's all over the country.

It's nationally syndicated. Oh, so you might hear me in there's it. But it's funny because we take colors all the time, and it's so interesting because they, there are so many people calling in about that exact thing that like the younger, we say they're younger in the married. Yeah. And they're unhappy with their relationship or they got married to younger, we were just saying that they're younger in the married. Yeah.

And they're unhappy with their relationship or they got married to younger, they got married to older, like whatever, well, you just say before that, the kids, sorry, what were you saying? What were they telling you that? What did you just say? What I just say is,

really tired. That we're just really content in how we are. And every, again, everyone's unhappy. Yeah. So that's where people all the time and they're like, I'm 20, we got married and weren't happy. And then, everyone's unhappy. So that's where you're all the time. And they're like, I'm 20, we got married and we're happy.

And then we're like 40 and unhappy. And these kids who call in, and it's young, a lot of them are younger. And they're like, I think I'm with the love of my life, but we've been together for four years. I'm like, how old are you? 20, it's like you can't, and your 20 is like the time to date, trying to figure out what you want.

And then, so those people aren't happy. Well, no thing is, I, I should get married. Don't get married because you're 30. Someone got pissed at me for saying this, but I don't think you should get married before you're 30. And I've always been the one on the show. It's like, very supportive of marriage and all that stuff.

And I'm not telling everybody not to get married, just for me though, it's just, and the relationship, I mean, we, we kind of just look at it as like a money factor. It's like why we got so romantic. I know it is. Isn't it like, are we going to waste a ton of money on doing this? Or we can go have fun, you know?

Right. To be honest. Yeah, that's true. A lot of couples are delaying marriage or not getting married at all. And they're deciding that they wanna just live the life. And the thing is, because this is like the first generation that has really delayed marriage,

like our parents got married right after college or the first person that they had sex with, is that I think that we are realizing that we do have so many more options and that we are alone, we are independent for so long, and our lives get better, because we make more money, we can do more things, and we're like, what, I wanna kid, so I can can't I can't travel three times a year

I can't sleep in I know I like my independent lifestyle But then some people have those cravings like it's interesting that right now your girlfriend does not say to you Oh, I'm dying. Yeah, I just have that baby the click it. We enjoy you know We could change though, you know Why don't we give a shout out to the people who help keep this show free? The genius design team at Wevibe has done it again. The brand new Nova by Wevibe is quite simply a dual stimulation superstar. The Nova expertly pleasures your clitoris and g-spot at the same time without missing a

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Go to sexwithmwe.com, click on the Nova banner today and you get a special discount. Okay, so let's get into the show a little bit today. I, um, real quick, what about your day? I mean, there's so many things I know. We have the time to show them. We have the time to show them. Okay, so, okay, this is why I'm, okay, whatever. So I've been dating this guy in LA for like six weeks.

I met him in Vegas. And I met him at this conference I was there, but he's actually lives in Los Angeles. He was there for the conference as well. And I like him. I, it's the same, it's, you know, I seem like once a week, he would like to see me more. I'm, and I'm dating, I've been getting asked out a lot.

I'm doing a lot of different texting, different gentleman. Texting. I'm doing the texting. And like a lot of old boyfriends are circling back. And my old boy friend, ex-boyfriend, is like all of a sudden his confessor they like wants to be together, thinks we should be together, and whatever.

So that's interesting. There's been some weird men coming back into my life. Oh, and I've also, I've met some new ones. I meet a lot of, not a lot of nice guys down there. I do. But this new guy, I just think he's, he's really interesting. He's smart. He's cool. We are having fun and I'm really just, I'm not really thinking about you know, I'm not thinking, I'm not the typical woman who's thinking like, where's it going? What are we doing? Like, I'm just so focused on, on business and work right now. And it's fun, but I have a good time with them. And I have a lot of new friends on there. And I'm doing a lot of fun, different things,

amazing meals and going to fun parties. That's really cool. Yeah, it's good. So, but I, you know, and good sex with this guy. Oh, really? So, yeah, it is good sex. And the thing that I like about him is that there's several things that I like about him. But he's really into, so, so one of my jobs, one big part of my job is reviewing sex toys, as you know. And hence my garage full of sex toys I talk about at every single goddamn podcast, but I actually need to review them. I don't do all of my interns doing calcium doesn't, but I, he actually's into it and he like wants to help me review them, so I'm actually getting work done and having sex with them. So to me, I, that's like a two-fer.

Double whammy, so, so there's sex with them. So to me, I, that's like a two firm double double whammy. So, um, so, so there's lots of cool sex stories coming out that I, um, actually had good vibrations. Last time I went to their store and I saw so if anyone wants to, um, actually, if you ever want to get any toys there, it's good vibes.com. Um, go to my, uh, uh, go to sex only.com, click on the good vibes band. Or use coupon code Emily and you get 20% off. And like, so the Mimi, you know how I've been talking about the Mimi, well they came out

with the new Mimi and it's soft. It's like the best couples vibe. I think it's the best vibe I've ever to use during intercourse. And last night the owner, founder of Mimi, was at the thing and I was just like worshiping her release. She's amazing and she says she's got a new product with their Sunday meet next week. But if you ever want to know like just I'm wondering, I kind of want to get my, you know, colleagues are coming up. What do you get in the car? I'm going to go to my website and click on the good vibes banner. Why are you ever want to know like just I'm wondering kind of want to get my, you know, colleagues are coming up. What do you get in my car? Go to my website and click on the

good vibe dinner. Why are you laughing at me? Laughing is that people might hear a vacuum in the background. Some janitor watching. That's so funny. Okay. And this my favorite toys are listed on that page. So if you want to know what I like, you can go there. And yeah. Now another thing is, uh, talk about the Emily and Tony. Oh Emily and honey box. Okay. So I knew I was going to see you today. You're right. Do I have my favorite?

You can smell my balls now. I am wearing the under the under the under down under comfort. Down under comfort. Yes. Okay. Tell me how you like it. I love it. I kind of it probably I'm totally wrong, but I kind of I think it smells like CK one.

Let's see. Oh Kevin Klein. Yeah, it's like kind of So do you see and yeah, but do you know what I think you should do what to be honest? I think maybe you should market it to to To gay guys. Yeah, we are we are Everybody it's for everybody because the thing is like you know guys that are listening these podcasts I want to set up their game they should definitely just buy it But I'm talking about the guys that are normally on this you know walking down the street right who are not you know Ford thinking yeah listening to the sex with the Emily podcast that they're disgusting

You know, it might be kind of hard for them to grasp a like that that might need to put some, you know, something down there. And I think the gay community thinks a lot more about that and is more like like they're more clean. And a lot of guys say, our clean is something you didn't like take a shower in the morning and you're like, I'm fine. I mean, you know, I'm sure you did or you didn't have to do gym, but you're not always as clean as you think. And even if you think you are, you're not, because it just gets like that down there. Like women, we take care of the bathroom, we wash out, we do things. Guys, don't.

So the thing about this product that I made, it's a cream to like a lot of men, you tuck and powder, which is carcinogenic. So it's a cream to a powder formula that you know you rub on and it stays in one place and it gets powdery. I could pause for once again. Okay, we're back, sorry.

The, the, we're here recording on a weekend and the janitor came in in didn't know we were here and the vacuum to start getting out of control. Right. Okay, so now let's get into some emails from the people because as you know, I love hearing from everyone, feedback at sexwithamely.com. Dear Emily, I met a guy at work. I've talked to him once and I screwed it up.

I lied to him that I live alone in a apartment when I live with my brother and his friend. I paid the rent for everyone. I also told him that I have no family here, but I do have my brother here. Now he wants to get to know each other and I'm panicking. I don't have to tell him the truth. Should I tell him the truth or should I wait? What do you think I should do?

Thanks so much, Emily. By the way, your shows are awesome. Signed lovely B. First off, I don't even know why shoot even live about that guy's stuff. I'm not sure either. You're a female, you have a vagina, guys don't even care. Guys don't care if you have roommates or anything like that.

Guys will bang you in their freaking basement out of your house. Exactly, you know, it would take a freaking care. The whole family is upstairs. Yeah, exactly. That's how disgusting guys are. Oh my God, totally you know, the whole family is upstairs. Yeah. Exactly. That's how disgusting guys are totally. They don't care about that guy. No, they don't. They'll take you to McDonald's on the stream, boning the bathroom there. Yeah. It's the other way. It's the other way around when, you know, I don't want to do the guy with roommates

at a, after certain age, I always said, like, just, you know, you just don't want to go through it. But I would just tell your brother, tell him that your brother and his friend had to move in and you're paying the rent. It's the truth. It sounds to me like you can just say, oh, this is what happened. I'm like supporting them. Which actually makes you sound bad.

I think that she might be banging the brother's friend. You think? Maybe. Then why is she? I don't understand. I mean, she should just put that in the email if that's true. I feel like we're missing some information. Because everything doesn't seem like a big deal

and maybe she messed around with the brother's friend and then she doesn't want to say, she doesn't want to bring the guy over because that might be kind of weird. Exactly, yeah, maybe, but I don't know why she would take the time to write if she's being in the friend, but I see what you're saying,

but I think she just worried that she lied and screwed up and lived alone in a apartment. Maybe she's trying to sound older and more sophisticated, but it sounds like to me, she's got the money. She's paying for everyone. He'll be fine. Yeah. And the guy don't bang the roommate.

Yeah. If you're about to. Yeah. I mean, if you haven't banged the roommate and your, your story is totally legit from beginning to end, just go with Emily's story because it's going to just sound kind of weird if you try to backtrack and say, Oh, I lied. And then they're like, that's kind of a weird thing to even lie about. You know, to say they had to move in and you let them move in like no guy on the planet It's gonna care about that. No, exactly. That's an understand like I think men and women just we worry about different things

Okay, so office love triangle dear Emily to make a very long story short I hadn't affair with my much older boss after about a year I come to find out he's also having an inappropriate relationship with another woman in my office, who is my direct supervisor. I called him out on it and he refuses to meet anything. I love my job and I'm having a hard time having a sit in the office in this disturbing love triangle. The other woman has no idea of this going on and just have deep the lies run. I'm torn on my next move and need advice. Please help. Thank you and Nancy.

Okay, Nancy, you're having a fair with your much older married boss and then direct supervisor. What do you want to do? I mean, it sounds like you got to get a new job. I mean, to me, or you just stop talking about it, you end the relationship immediately with the boss. You're not saying here that you even like your boss. You're just saying, all you say in this is that you love your job. So you've got either two choices. Either you just kind of, you know, let your boss know that you're ending things now and you hope that this won't impact your performance at work and hope that nobody else finds out and help your supervisor doesn't find out and you just keep working on your job and doing the best you can and you stay in that office and you cut it all off because he's married too.

Yeah, there's no future. There's no future with this. This is just a waste of time. It feels good. It's powerful. He's your boss. I totally get it. Been there.

Done that sort of, you know, done things like that. Men of power and sexy, but with the director. Supervisor. So I'm saying, if you like your boss or, you know what, honey, if you're talented, you're smart, get a new job. I mean, it can be, you do me a beat too tricky. People find things out, you know what honey if you're talented, you're smart get a new job I mean it can maybe you do me a bit too tricky people find things out, you know You're you're sleeping with your door you're your senior boss and you're super busy with them, too I guess yeah, I totally agree either I mean you slept with a lot everyone at your office

So did you you had some people like that didn't you like for a while? I mean yours ago, but you slept with everyone Yeah, but I'm cool with everybody right Right, but you weren't their boss. No, but the thing is, I totally agree again, that you need to cut it off and just keep on working or just go find a new job. If you're gonna be one of those people that's gonna be constantly, it's gonna consume your life when you're at work

and you see your supervisors and stuff like that. That's a great point because this comes up a lot. He will always want to know, do you, should I see for someone that I work with? Like does this go to a greater bad idea? And the truth is I would say, we know no fishing off the company peers and people who failed this or that,

but through this we work more than anywhere else. We socialize more at work. It's going to happen, but it just does get trickier. It does does if you love your job and it just doesn't It also depends on your maturity level on how you know how old you are If you know if you're older you might not just just care as much if you're like a 20 something year old It might be the biggest Drama thing that's going on in your life.

That's the thing, you create drama, you're not doing, okay, when you're sleeping someone to do work at this, this is what I was getting to. Yeah, you're sleeping with someone you work with, there's no way you're printing 110% in your job, because I'm, we all done that, you see coming around the corner, it's shaming with a water cooler, it's shaming. I look cute today, like you're spending so much mental energy thinking about this guy all day, when you usually work, it should be the place where you're focusing only on work. So it's distraction, if you really want to kick ass in your career, I'd suggest sleeping with someone that's floor below you or something. You're spending so much mental energy thinking about this guy all day. When you usually work, you should be the place where you're focusing only on work.

So it's a distraction. If you really want to kick ass in your career, I'd suggest sleeping with someone the floor below you or something. During our vacuum break, you were talking about... I was not vacuuming, by the way. Yeah. We were talking about the Sir, which is a show on Brava. Well, it's at least their Vanderprumps show.

And it's all her employees that work at this restaurant called Sir, and they're all 20 something years old. And so they're all banging each other and it's such drama because they can't deal with, like seeing each other every single day or even every, every moment is a piece of drama, you know? And but I want to feel like you get older maybe it's not, not as a big deal, you know, you can get over at least for a guy's, I think. Right, exactly, exactly.

No, you can, you're right. It is a young 20 something maybe, I don't know. And in LA, it's like, my friend just moved there. And he texted me, he's like, everyone here, I've fallen in love like six times, but they're all the women are crazy. Or you know, other guys, as everyone was crazy. And the guys are crazy too.

Okay, so should we time for one more email? Yeah, go for it. Okay, sure. We got more shows coming soon. We got, oh my god, we're doing shows coming up. We got more shows coming up. We got, oh my god, we're doing so many shows. We're doing two shows a week, which is very exciting. So, um, so you better just, uh, you better just subscribe to the shows and iTunes.

Super easy that way. And then you should, um, probably after that, give us five stars. Yeah. Because you appreciate that too. Okay. Choosing between two men, dear Emily, I've been together with my boyfriend since I was 21. I just turned 30 now. We have a couple of breakups, so we always come back together.

When I was 23, I met a guy from Israel when I was traveling. We like each other very much, but nothing happened in bed. Two years ago, I visited him in Israel and we fell back in love again and had a hot affair while I was in a break from my boyfriend. The Israeli recently came to visit me in Europe. The sex was so incredible and different from what I experienced my boyfriend so far. My boyfriend allowed me to sleep with other men while we were having a long distance relationship

and he is currently having some issues getting it up. The Israeli always said there is no chance that we will ever be together, but since he has been here, he changed his mind. I feel that I love two men at the same time and as for many years now, how is that possible? I feel as if I would have to choose between a very loving man, which I can imagine to have children with, boyfriend,

and a risky, exciting, and who knows what happens next, kind of man who might never want children and whose culture makes it difficult to be together. I am not Jewish, where should we live? I just got a great job. Maybe you advice for me, thanks Natalie. Natalie, this is kind of a heavy one. So you've been with your boyfriend since you were 21.

So you've been together nine years and you've had a couple of breakups and you always come back together. And now you meet this guy from Israel and he's been in your mind. And so here's, this is classic. So here's a thing, you're with your boyfriend for nine years. You have not been with anyone,

maybe you had some, when you broke up for a while, you sucked around, but basically you've been with this guy for nine years. And you're coming to the point where you're trying to decide, is he the one that I want to be with? Because this is after nine years, it's kind of the time that you decide. And so this other exciting guy happens to be this really,

from when you're 23, but I'm telling you, this could be another guy that you meet, when you're out of the bar and on one night with your friends. You're gonna have some exciting guy who comes in and he's everything that your boyfriend isn't. Because after in a long-term relationship, you have to work on the sex life. It's not as exciting. We don't get that newness.

We don't get that thrill and our epiton or stomach like you get when the Israeli comes over and see you. So, I get what you're doing at the affair. It's something different. So, what you've decided now is it's not about, I'm in love with two men. It's really about you deciding what exactly you want right now in your life, because you're going to be able to fill us with a lot of different men and you have to turn to this relationship that you've been with him first.

Let the other guy go. The Israeli guy you're right. He's here. He's there. It's excitement. No, I don't think you should give up on this relationship of so long as to be with this really. I think you need to decide, do you love this guy to the boyfriend?

Just because you're saying he's going to make a great father and all this stuff at you in them for nine years, doesn't might not mean that he is the one for you. So I would say, just cut it off with the Israeli and commit to spending the next three to six months. So, I just take six months if you've been together nine years and say, I'm gonna... Whoa. Was that me?

Yes. How that happened? I'm gonna work on this relationship, whether the two of you need to go to therapy, if he's not getting it up, figure out why he's not getting it up. You should go to his doctor, like if you guys have some sexual dysfunction going on. But before you treat again, and before you carry on something else, it sounds to me like you've got some red flags going up with this guy too with your current boyfriend. So I say terminate that and then go out of all the flings you want. But until you figure out what you want to do with your boyfriend, I wouldn't be thinking about other guys. True. Yeah, it's just, it's just to keep on putting.

I'm a mosquito bite or something. Okay. Yeah. Putting your earphones right next to the microphone. The feedback. Yeah. Okay. So I totally agree with you on all that stuff. There's something that I want to bring up that's kind of the same issue. It's becoming very popular in hip-hop culture is this new term called side chick. Side chick?

Side chick. Like a mistress? Like yeah, but it's like, it's almost there. It's like coming up in all these brand new songs, all my side chick, the side chick, almost making it okay to have another person. I could see that. On the side while you're in a relationship.

I definitely see that being a trend of people. Well, I think this is the generation that grew up with so many options in social media and Facebook and Twitter and plenty of fish and all these sites that they on and go on forever Instagram Snapchat. Are you doing a Snapchat by the way? I used to but it's just too hard to We have a thing too. It's just too hard to Snapchat everybody at one time and I don't want to go in. I know it's a lot of things

But the point is okay, so here's the point is that this generation not committing they have so many options So like oh this bitch was nice. I mean that's like but I've got 10 women You just hit me up like my photo Instagram. So so they're not deciding. They're not committing. They have so many options. They're like, oh, this bitch was nice to me last night, but I've got 10 women who just hit me up like my photo Instagram. So, so they're not deciding they're not committing, they're not slowing down. And so, they're probably like, and I have actually met six women this weekend.

I want to see with Al and so I might as well have the, what are they calling it? The side check. And so, I think that that's what it is. Do you think that it has to do with social media? And to have more options and people not looking at marriage or commitment. Just look at the, look at the 90s all you had was, you know, who you could reach out on a seller phone.

A seller phone. Not even all the 90s. It was the phone in the wall. Yeah. Yeah. You don't even have, you know, images, you know, sexy photos constantly in your face every single day of other people back then. Right.

Exactly. No, you can't see your ex-boyfriend from two years ago. Not even that, but though, like, you know, you can open up your Facebook, your Instagram, your Twitter, and to see, you know, the best photos of, you know, people take them of themselves. Like, oh, damn, they're kind of hot. I want to, you know, I want to hit that. Right. Exactly. But you didn't have that thing. Exactly. I mean, you've used up, but in school, you'd see chicks every day that you locked like in high school, but it was different. It was the same ones. Now, there's always like new. Also, the ones that you would have to see every day,

you would have to have verbal communication, but this way, for guys that are not as outgoing, they can be very calculated on how they reach out to a woman. Yeah. In line. Yeah, they can think about it, they can be. They can learn to be great textors, great writers, or they know out to a woman. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

They can think about it. They can be. They can learn to be great textors, great writers, great, or they know how to fish her in. They know how to like hook her, go woman in. Yeah. And I just, but you mean him in person and you're like, really, really, this is always been texting. It's funny because I was going to post this last night, but I think anybody would get

it. It's like, it has Twitter become a chatroom for dumb people. No, but think about it. Cause like, a lot of people use Twitter as a chatroom to like talk to people and stuff like that. But they're very, very calculated and they have, they can respond whenever they want. You know, but when chatrooms first came out, there was so fast and he had to be quick-witted and type replies back really quickly to gain some's attention. But now it's just like you reply back whenever you want. So now, it's slowed down.

I see. Okay, so you can always respond and there's always people percolating. So now I believe that Twitter is a chatroom. Are people meeting people on Twitter and dating a lot on Twitter? Yeah. So they're flirting and they're having conversations on Twitter. But do you know what is blowing up? We got this. We know.

Like what? All my single friends? Tinder. Tinder. I know. I gotta do Tinder. Everyone's hooking up off Tinder. Everyone.

That's crazy. I don't even know what it looks like. I have it, but yeah, it acts as your Facebook, right? Doesn't. Never see that. Don't do it. I have an act of afraid of it. Let's do it.

I should totally do it. It's on there somewhere. Okay. So we got it. never see it. No, don't do it. I have an active schedule. I'm afraid of it, but do it. I should totally do it. It's on there somewhere. Okay. Okay, so we got it. We got it. Okay, we got it wrap it up. Okay, we got more shows coming. So everyone, thank you so much for listening to the show.

Listen, this is what I'm going to tell you. So you have to follow me on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. Oh, I was just voted by men's health as one of the top five experts to follow on Twitter. So I actually give out good information. I'm not having dumb chats, whatever, man. It's just that. It's actually interesting information good information. I'm not having dumb chats, whatever it is just that. It's actually interesting information.

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, section of the Emily. And then also, yeah, subscribe to my podcast. Email me all your questions. We'd love to hear from you. Thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemle.com.

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