Sex With Emily - Best of: Unblock Your Orgasms #IRL

Episode Date: June 13, 2020

On today’s throwback podcast, Dr. Emily helps callers figure out the best way to get past their coital conundrums and dating dilemmas.Struggling in the orgasm department with your beau? What are some great sex toy recs for a lesbian couple? Should you give your ex another shot? How do you spice up your long-term sex life? Emily and Anderson help callers get through these sex and dating issues and more. Plus, they discuss how some men watch so much porn, it’s causing penis problems!For even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and today's show I'm here with Anderson and we're taking your sex and relationship calls. Topics include trouble with orgasms, toys for hotter lesbians loving, wind to give an ex a second chance and what to do when your sexual past is haunting you. All this and more, thanks for listening. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com.

That's your one stop shop, you guys. For all the information that you need about Sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com. That's your one stop shop, you guys. For all the information that you need about sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com slash podcast to find our entire show archive, which I think you'll enjoy. I love getting your emails, you guys are like, I'm bingeing on all your episodes, because there's a lot there, you guys.

So you can kind of go through, see what you like. Hi, I'm here with Anderson. Hi. Hi. This is wonderful. No, I don't make dick pics, I don't you should send out some dick pics Just you know send them out really yeah

Or send them back that's what you do when you get a dick pic from somebody. It's like all right here's a giant one Like somebody else Fire back, but you know, so it's so funny Anderson because I had a I was telling this But I'll tell you the it complete story. My friend was in town from Chicago. You know, she's a mom, three kids, and I forget that someone is my life is not normal when you have roommates in college. Right. She comes to visit me, and I'm like hanging out in my house, or you know, drinking outside. It was a very fun weekend. And you called me. I did call you. Was she ever a birthday? We spoke. That day that you're having a few drinks with your friend. Yeah.

That was a different friend. Yeah. That was a different friend. I've had like 18 visitors in town for the last two months. Social butterfly. No, it's too much. I can't handle it. Stop visiting me.

Stop visiting me. I love you, but don't visit me. But no, she was amazing, but it was funny, because at one point we're like going through my phone and I'm just showing her Snapchat. We're doing snaps. And then all of a sudden I'm like, looking at my messages.

Is that a penis? I'm like, yeah, I just delete it. Shevis and I'm like looking at my messages, she's like, is that a penis? I'm like, yeah, I just delete it. She's like, well, do you get those? That's like the dick pic. I'm like, yeah, I get them. I just delete them, look. And then I show her a block. And she's like, no way, find another one.

How many ticks you get a day? Dicks of the day. Yeah. I don't know a few weeks maybe. Sometimes there's like many, like, and then I just, yeah, I block you. So you can no longer ever follow me at Snapchat, which my snapshots are a good time. And you don't want to miss them. But she's like, like and then I just yeah I block you so you can no longer ever follow me at Snapchat which my snapshots are good time and you don't want to miss them

but you're like your life really with those her my hair Chicago accent. It's so good to be back in these studios I gotta tell you I missed it I miss you I miss you I miss you crew I miss I miss being here though we really miss you too well I think it's time and now that you're super dad what's it called? I'm saying I'm dad yeah, I appreciate it. The boy's out in the other room. I can already hear him starting to whimper. So hopefully this goes, but let's see how it happens.

Yeah, whimpering babies. That goes right along with sex because that's how it happened. I assume that you have had sex with your wife. Yes, that's how we created him. How about since the baby? You know, for the first six months, he was in the room with us sleeping in the room and his little pack and play they call it work not gonna bug and you know there's nothing like uh...

deal killer then crying baby in the middle of the night so it plus there's you know after after a woman gives birth naturally uh... natural birth there's uh... some time off there what he has now moved the nursery he's in the crib and uh... you know we find spots here and there to make it happen. We'll do little pets, I bet we can finish before he starts crying. That's what happens. How's your sleep? I don't sleep more than two hours at a time, but other than that, I'm getting like six and a half, seven hours a night.

But it's just interrupted throughout. Right, so maybe not the most arrested sleep. I would not recommend children before you're done with your party days for sure. How do you do it? Well, I guess it ends your party days right away. I think that most people just like me, they stop drinking because they have kids. That's the only way that you're,

I was really angry at that. You don't drink anymore? Barely, because I can't really sleep it off in the morning anymore. I gotta get up and stuff. You used to wake up like 11 and you'd be up to, I know this day is over. I think change is good, don't you think?

It's a transition, but I think it's probably good for you. It's called like adult time. I don't miss it that much. Now I look forward to him, you know, getting nine, 10 years old and we can share some beers. Yeah, exactly. He's nine, for sure. You're great dad.

I love it. And so, yeah, well, I'm glad you're back. And, you know, I'm really glad because it's May. And I would, you know, I'd be glad because it's May and I would you know I'd be masturbation month exactly If that's not why I bet it's why I didn't make it up, but sure I love a Literation. It's easy right it's easy. It's kind of lazy but easy sounds Mother's days in May Mother's day Mother's day Memorial Day masturbation month. I think it all is because of

Yeah, but also because why the hell not? It's a good month and I think there's five weeks in it or that last month. No, it's a big month. Do you celebrate it? Are people meant to go out and celebrate it in various ways? Like beat off in different locations? That's a really, really good question.

I wouldn't necessarily recommend different locations, but I'd recommend different, you know, physicians, try some, yeah. If you always do what the right do with the left, if you've been wanting to mutually masturbate with your partner, which I'm a huge fan of, you can do that, and just put some time into it, because masturbation, there's so many complaints and so many challenges that people have around their sex lives,

and we attribute it to like stress, so we've attribute it to like maybe too much meds or not enough sleep. But really, I think once you keep going their sex lives and we attribute it to like stress, so we've attribute it to like maybe too much meds or not enough sleep, but really, I think once you keep going with a regular masturbation and keep it top of mind and you start understanding your body, it makes you feel good, it actually is really healthy,

just as important as exercise. So you're speaking in five minutes. To the ladies. No, wait, what? 55 minutes. What? No, five minutes, 10 minutes. You know, use the woman eyes or take a minute.

But the thing is that it's just, I just think that we think that our sex life is so set and it's just it's like the static like we have this is how we masturbate and we will always do that to the end of time, but it's like we have so much capacity for pleasure. And so I think it's a great month to be like you know what I've been wanting to dab a little bit more and figure out what makes you feel good and men too. Yeah men too like men want to last longer. It's a good challenge. All guys listening to this they can try a fee fee for the first time if you've never done a fee fee You you learn how to make one of pretty much. It's like a fleshlight But they invented them in prison long time ago

So you like to take a toilet roll and you put or in a ziplock bag and you put some warm water in there and some some Lube and you and you use it. Yeah, you can do that. What you make a flashback? Well, you know, it's so funny. In honor of masturbation months, give it a shot. Right. It's almost over. I should have done that. But you know what? The fee fee, it's funny, because there's a new toy that came out called a fee fee and he made it. I did not know that the origin was from prison. And it's the same thing. It's a, it's a male masturbation thing and he uses like a, yeah, it looks like a washcloth and it's wrapped in a thing and I met him in Germany.

Oh, I met him in Germany. I met him in Germany. And he's like, well, my feet feet. No, I was at a sex twite, trade show. I would hope so. And yeah, that's funny. Yeah, that's funny in Germany. So, but yeah, I met him in Alley.

It was a good time. That's really funny about that. And there's one more thing I have to say on masturbation, because we're never done. Just like you're never done masturbating upon done masturbating. You're talking collectively to the listeners. No, me. Yeah. There's only, there's certain things I can talk to you about Anderson. Like porn, that's we're going to get into some sex in the news. How about that? Men are watching so much porn. They can't get erections. IRL. IRL in real life. In real

life. And now we've talked about this before about how men keep trying to, they have to keep raising up in the ante. Up in the ante. Yeah, the great South Park episode about this. This happens. It's the same with drugs, too. It's like you start doing drugs. You smoke a little weed, and it's good, and then you do a little weed, and alcohol is

good, and then you start adding up. And then before you know it, you're slamming speedballs because that's the only way you can get high. Exactly. So that's what men are doing with porn. But here's the bad news. Internet porn may be more widespread than ever. But a growing number of scientists

are becoming concerned about its toxic effect on real relationships. Excessive pornography viewing could be affecting men's libidos and putting them at risk of sexual dysfunction according to new research. So they studied all these participants, 312 male participants, between 20 and 40. The study showed that men, who's spend a lot of time on free sites like

Pornhub, the less likely they are going to be able to connect with a real life partner in the bedroom, and their real intimacy becomes jeopardized. And so they did the study, and they found a close correlation between excessive pornography use and sexual dysfunction. And they're revealed they're on 20% of men reported using Pornh three to five times a week and 4% of men preferred masturbating to pornography over having sexual intercourse with the partner 4% 4% That's a lot. I feel like they're lying. I feel like he would be higher

I worked with Adam Krola for a long time and one of his funnier things was you know, we talk about Sex he's like yeah sure. I like sex. It's just not as good as the real thing Meeting masturbation. That's good. I'm having dinner with his wife tonight. Linette. sure, I like sex. It's just not as good as the real thing. Meeting masturbation is the real thing. That's good. I'm having dinner with his wife tonight. Lynette. Oh, I love Lynette. She's awesome.

She's the best. She's the best. I got Lynette Corolla's podcast. So strange that she's married to him. Like, how does she deal? She's such a sweet, great person. No, I love her. I guess we'll talk about it tonight.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. First question. One time he yelled at me for being in the parking lot. He said, order appetizers and say, how did you end up with Adam? It just doesn't make sense. Okay, I'll do that.

So here's the thing about this. I think that we get so many emails about masturbating and porn, like just the basic stuff that got women concerned about their partners doing it or men want to know about doing it too much, but this is really showing that, yeah. And I don't want everyone to freak out right now

a few times a week, even every day is fine if you're doing it in a responsible way, but if you feel like, yeah, you know what? I'm not just turned down by my partner and I feel like I can only do it with this certain kind of porn and I keep raising it, it's getting more and more intense the porn that I'm watching. The good news is that this something you can fix. You can just kind of back off the porn. Like easier said than done.

Yeah, that's like Dr. Phil answer right now, but dude, but that's like heroin. Like just stop the heroin, but I don't think it's nearly as addictive in the sense of your whole life. You're masturbating. Fine. Everything was fine until about three years ago when it became so five years ago, when it becomes porn hub become like free and easy and anywhere on your phone. When everyone started getting the DSL and the high, before we never wait like three hours for a two minute clip to download, I think that people were in the app.

But I think that the porn, there's so much more porn now than speaking to every kind of sexual proclivity you could have. I feel like it's not like it's gonna be easy, but you can reverse, you say, okay, you know to right now, I'm going to turn some, but I'm just going to go back to using the old memory. I think.

I think. Going back to the Love Line days, which I lean on quite a bit on this year's show with you, I remember people that would put off the climax and be looking at porn for like an hour or two hours at a time, that's when you're really in trouble. That's when it's really like it can be considered an addiction if you're injuring yourself, making yourself raw down there. Or if it's, I mean, just to go back to what drew it always say, if you're having negative consequences on your life or your job or your significant others, then it's a problem.

Right. That's one's a problem. And negative, yeah, negative consequences, you mean like you're masturbating so much, you got fired from your job, but you don't wanna sexually operate. You keep calling it six, you just wanna hang out and masturbate for hours. That's like a messy room, I don't know what that is. At the same time, two out of eight.

There's a newer generation that like, doesn't remember what it was like when you'd have to wait like the said five, six hours for a short little video to download. And they've been looking at porn since they're like, you know, 12, 13 years old since puberty. for a short little video to download. And they have been looking at porn since they're like, 12, 13 years old since puberty. And I can't imagine what sex would be like,

I feel so bad for those girls that have to deal with those guys that expect. That's my excess. And this is going on for like 10 years. I know, I know. These are like, these girls are all having sex now and the other. It's all porn style sex.

I know. And that's what they think they have to do to have sex dangerous. Could I just say that I appreciate you saying porn and not porn. There's something that's so. When people say porn, usually people like our age are a little bit older. They say porn, and it's just like, I mean, I never said that word. So 70, so gross. I just picture my stashes and bushes and bushes. And I say porn. We had a porn. No, I don't say that. Was that sex in the news? I just realized that we just did sex in the news.

They've said it's over. I don't realize that. This is sex in the news? I just realized that we just did sex in the news. You've said, it's over. I didn't realize that. Dude, this is exciting. I'm out of practice with you. I know. I love the sex in the news. Did you want to do anything more sex in the news? I think it's call time, right?

Yeah, so you guys, we are going to be taking your calls here. So I love this. You're the first one to give a shout to our sponsors. Thank you everyone for supporting them. You know, I only talk about products and services that I love, that I've used, that I appreciate, and I know you will too. So thanks for supporting them and to help keep in the show free.

We love you. Hello, how are you? I got it's Emily and Anderson. Hello baguette. I get it. I get it. I get it. It rhymes with baguette, right? Well, baguette. Well, thank you. You're 25 years old. And let me how I can help you. So first of all, I'm very happy to be on your show. And so I've been dating a guy for, I would say, six months. And it's been very great. But my problem is that I can't gom when he goes down on me or he uses sex toys or some like this, but whereas when I'm alone, I manage to orgasm so I don't know why and I don't know what I can do to her. Okay, so first thinking for both of us.

Okay, well I think first of all it's great that you can orgasm on your own because this I can do to earn. I'm going to tell you first, thinking about both of this. OK. Well, I think, first of all, it's great that you can orgasm on your own, because this is a very common question we get asked. And because it's just not, you know, orgasm with a partner is very difficult for most women. The majority of women have this challenge. So you're totally fine.

I hate using the word normal, but it's normal. And if you know how to do it on your own, it's the kind of thing you got to incorporate it when you're with your partner. Just show them and say, this is what I do. You can do some mutual masturbation. You can show them exactly how you want to be touched because he wants down on me, I'm I orgasmed. So I don't know why you have Make sure you tell the new guy that no don't tell your wife and that listen do you remember the motive? So here's a thing he probably did exactly the last guy did it. Don't do that. But I think that do you remember what your ex did and what this guy said? Because you can give it no, you don't remember?

No, the problem because I can do it to my ex and say, I hope. That'd be awesome if you could interview. Be like, listen, I'm nothing to say to you, but I have a question. Just bring a minute, put them on the bench. Have them like coach for your bench. So here's the thing. I think that you could probably know like when your ex is going, when you're sorry, when your boyfriend's going down on you,

does it start to feel good and then something happens and it's like doesn't feel good or does it never feel good? No, it feels good, but it's like I'm reaching some kind of, I don't know, level and I can't go for a job and I can't go for a job. Or rather, I don't know, level and I can't go for a job and I can't go together. I don't know, some kind of look at it. I think that, yeah, you know what, here's the thing.

I think you got, how long have you been with the human for six months? So I think that you have to, in the moment, be present with them and show them, like, guys, a lot of guys don't know, like, because every woman is different. Maybe his last girlfriend liked him going down in her in a certain way, and he's doing the same thing with you, so you just need to be the director here. You need to say, in the moment, can you try this? Can you go softer? Can you go slower?

A lot of guys go too fast, too hard. Maybe you need a little more foreplay, and then also you could bring a toy in. He said she uses toys. Okay, so I think that this could also be in. Now, it can- He said she uses toys. Okay, so I think that this could also be in your mind that you're thinking it hasn't happened, it hasn't happened, and so you're like, it's just not going to. And we do that. A lot of this stuff is just in our head, and it's going to stop you from orgasming.

So that's why I suggest start with some mutual masturbation when he's in the room, and you guys are both getting off, and then you've done it with him in the room. He sees what you're doing. You see what he's doing. You know what turns him on. You're learning. It's hot, and then you've done it with him in the room, he sees what you're doing, you see what he's doing, you know what turns him on, you're learning, it's hot and then go from there. But maybe I put too much pressure on me, I don't know. You are, no, I'm going to tell you right now that there's nothing wrong with you and you probably likely are putting a lot of pressure on yourself because your thinking isn't going to happen. And that's what we do, we block our orgasms We're like cock blocking but orgasm blocking and we like get so scared it's not going to happen It's not going to happen and that is what happens

So I try to just get it out here know that it will happen believe that it will happen and try mutual masturbation with them Okay, okay Okay, let me know what goes okay. I think in a way I know it'll work There's nothing wrong with you at all. Cause you can never grab it. And you like your boyfriend. Get over this hump. Okay, get out of your head.

Okay, into your body, hump. Okay, thank you so much. Try some wine too and loosen up a little. Okay. Okay, thank you for calling. Thank you, bye. Bye. I took French too.

Oh, wow. We really utilized it there as well. I did, but I didn't, I don't know how to say. I took like, oh, wow, goodbye. Hello. Was that, yeah. Bonjour. Bonjour, so.

Bonjour, but then goodbye. We is yes. We yes. So, Paul, say. I'm in the porn magazine. We, oh, you are. Yeah, do. So, that's interesting.

So, I hope I will get under, I mean, we can understand. I can understand her. Yeah, and she's probably going to her. She's probably going to hear this as well. So after her she hears her call, she's probably going to hear you continue to talk about it. And a lot of other people probably have this problem too. Oh my God. This is probably one of the most special things. Especially girls. Because like you said, they're all different.

Guys aren't going to have, well, they will be here and there, but for the most part, guys are going to have a heart attack. So this guy that she's dating right now is probably dumb. And he probably thinks, well, this worked for my last girlfriend just like you said. So there needs to be some kind of communication, even if it's not verbal, like maybe, you know, like she taps them to let them know a little faster

or slower. She shows them with her fingers, what she does, what she's- We'll cover that with the mutual of what you pointed out. But like, I've always said, like, if he just really pays attention to her body language and how, we didn't even ask if she's faking or not, but she better not be faking. Yeah, don't faking.

Really screw everything up. Yep, faking no on fake, oh. So yeah, I think that the kind of thing, if this is happening with you, that, yeah, you can show your partner and also just because it hasn't happened, it doesn't mean it's not going to happen yet. And I think that women, since our orgasms are not a sure thing, I think that guys worry that they're going to come too fast and women worry that they're never going to come at all. Yeah, you guys get so stuck up in your head.

I know. And so I think that if you can just somehow. That's why I said wine. But you know what she's French, she's probably been drinking such as like eight. Yeah, exactly. That's probably the problem. Drinking wine right now. So I think that yeah, just got out of your head into your body when you find yourself thinking, oh, I'm not going to come this time, just like get back into your body and feel it and breathe. All right.

Or just a good Alaska. Let's go. when you find yourself thinking, oh, I'm not gonna come this time, just like get back into your body and feel it and breathe. All right. Or just a good Alaska. Let's go. Think of the X. Okay, our next call is Kevin 27 from Seattle. And he's got some questions about anal play, butt plug, anal toys. Can you guys try different years ago? It didn't go well.

It didn't go well because you didn't use a lot of lube. And it doesn't feel good. A lot of people have first time anal gone wrong stories. And now you want wanna try again. And the good news is that she likes it when you're touching around her butt and you're starting to build up to it again, which is exactly what I would tell you to do

that if a couple's new anal or wants to rebuild their anal memory and have a good experience, is there's so many nerve endings in it, just right outside. So if you just put some, make sure you have the clean hands and you wash your hands and you just, Lou, when you take your finger and go around her butt, the opening and you start to like play with it.

She'll start, you know, you see how she reacts to that. And then yeah, you could get some toys before you go jump right into anal to see if she gets, get comfortable with it. I would recommend we have a toy on my site from FT London. They have a butt plug that's killer Anderson's holding in his hand right now, but it's not used. It's called, he wanted to know if it was used. It's a FT London butt plug, it's amazing, and it also comes as a finger, you can get the

finger ring, that they have this finger vibe, which I love, it's the G-ring, and it's a remote control for the butt plug, which is really cool. But also, there's like anal beads are fun too, but I feel like you guys just have to get comfortable with the reason why a plug's good is because she can wear it inside of her on her own or with you to kind of start to get comfortable with the play. What?

I don't know, I'm just going to the girls. I remember, I don't think it was in your butt, but something fell out of you. My kegoballs. Well, while you're in the martin or something. I'm going to be meeting. Now, it's really important TV meeting, wearing wide-like pants and kegoballs. Well, while you're in the martin or something. I'm just gonna be meeting. Now, is it gonna be a really important TV meeting? Wearing wide-like pants and kegoballs.

Don't like Kevin. Don't let your wife wear these things in meetings. Anywhere, maybe you're on the house. During four play, she could wear it. Oh, do you guys have kids? Okay. Do you have kids, Kevin? No, we don't.

All the blood play does that. If you're obsessed with a bug, you're not gonna have a lot of kids. No. I was just thinking like if it fell out, I'm a stake in one of the toddlers guy. I hold plot play does that. If you're obsessed with a bug, you're not going to have a lot of kids. Yeah. I was just thinking if it fell out by mistake and one of their toddlers got a hold of it, that'd be bad too. But he doesn't have to. He doesn't have to.

So does that answer your question? Because a lot of times it doesn't go well, because people don't do it right. But I think if you start to get her comfortable with that area and getting turned on, and it's great for women to first get a given orgasm, have her have a literal or whatever kind of orgasm she has. I've been a course and then start to play

because then that everything she's already turned on and aroused. Kevin, it sounds like you figured out that she's into it but you guys haven't actually come out and verbally talked about it. Is that true? I'm not talking about that. We talked about a little bit. We both talked about both getting wet plugs

or something, something that a lot of time. We have a small panel bead. And she likes that. I mean, you're already there. Just taking that. You're good, yeah. If she's already kind of giving you the green light, is it worried?

Why don't you just take the next step? I mean, she's not going to, like, doubt she's going to go out and order the anal beads off Amazon or the grad, then the next step. Sounds like you already have some. But you just do the next step. Don't freak her out by getting like way into it though. You know, but like maybe once every two or three times, you know, you try something a

little bit more. Yeah, like liquid and user finger or every time who knows if she wants to build up, don't for some women, they can. I know the women get a little bit freaked out when they're, when they're man, it's just obsessed with the butt. That's true. And that's all that he cares about. Well, it's changed from woman to woman.

That's your wife. So you know, I think that that's, but it's good news that she's getting comfortable with it. You're doing the right thing. Go slow during this whole process, and especially when you do finally have anal. That's when you go really, really slow. Now, there's a bunch of stuff on our website. If you just like literally search, you know, we have a lot of stuff on there about

with like toys and stuff we like. But is there anything else I can help you with? Have we helped you with your anal explorations? I have one question on the recent podcast. I like to go down on the river a lot, but I never used to live there. Is there a benefactor to me using the leaf on her that just a taste that I'll tell you? Absolutely. I'm so glad you asked that.

It's funny. We've getting so glad you asked that. It's funny. We've getting so many questions about that because here's a thing. The clitoris is not self-looperating at all. It's not just going to do that. If you add a few drops of lube, I love joe lube. If you're into this, the flavor of lube was great. Salted caramel. They have passion, crème brulee.

The point is, you put a few drops. You don't need a ton. And just to get it going, it's not that she's probably, I'm sure she will get wet, but it just feels good. Like it's a different kind of wet that just won't get her going. And so I would say yes, try it. And then I think it might, she's gonna get more turned on

quicker and a little less work for you. Awesome, you're trying it tonight, then. Oh, I love it. Okay, go on my website, because we've got a store there. We've got the FT London plug, and we also have the Joe Loobs, all the different flavors. Let me know how it goes, Kevin. Have a fun night.

I know you will. It's gonna be a good one. I'll be thinking about you. I'll be thinking about you. Okay, bye. Thanks, Kevin. I'll be thinking about you. That's not Kevin.

I'm gonna be thinking about you and your wife having you. It sounds like that's what you're gonna do. I mean, I really can't tell you, and I know that you can't do this. You know this after 17 years on Loveline. I really do want everyone to tell me how it goes. Like I'd love Kevin to like call back and say, come later and be like how to go to night. Have it.

No, really? Like I feel like we're sort of helping people, but then it's like I'm sending them off and I don't know what happened. Right. I mean, that's the nature of this biz. They rarely get the follow-up. She rarely get to hear out. I want to know how it went and I will bring in talk to you again.

Call me. Okay, we've got another call. Can we just assume that they had passionate anal sex? Well, people keep listening to the show, so I'm thinking it's helping someone. Okay, next caller, next caller. Okay, I love this. Our next call is Betts. She's 20 people organ and she's got some questions about sex toys. Hi, Betts. Thanks for calling in. I'm here with Anderson. Hey, Betts. So, hi's Anderson? Hi, Anderson. Hi, Emily. Hi. Tell me everything. How can we help you? So, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for about eight months.

And we, neither of us had any pre-experience with same-sex relationship. And we just think we're going about together. It has been very good so far but we haven't got any really any equipment in the picture yet and I was just wondering if you have any suggestions, a picture because I know that you talk about toys all the time when you're a show but it's mostly in reference to masturbation and stuff like that so do you have any ideas for same-sex couple? Yeah, that's a great, that's a really great question. So I would think, yeah, I mean, what kind of thing are you guys, do you want more like, literal toys you think, do you want, are you interested

in any, like, would you want to use like, strap-ons? I mean, how, how do you guys, have some of that down for anything, yeah. Okay. Have you had to, I would say, God, have you ever used a gun for anything? Yeah. Okay. Have you went to, I would say God. Have you ever used a toy before in your life? I have, yeah. Okay. And what did you like?

What kind of toy? Did you use it? I like a little, I had like a little finger vibrator and I really like that one. But I really, I haven't used that many, so I don't have much of experience to draw from. Okay, yeah. I think that, okay, so I think that, I mean, the good news is you guys can totally play around with each other and kind of figure out, you guys already know really what's making

you feel good. Do you do any, if you're interested in G-Spot toys or stuff like that, I mean, you could buy a strap on toy. That's more of an advance, like wearing a strap on and a dildo on it. If you want to do that, we have a bunch of those on my website. Would that be on your website?

Okay, it's on my website. I'm trying to think we could find one that I could recommend. Sportsheets makes one, that's really great. I love all the sport. You guys into bondage at all, playing blindfolds. No, not really. Okay.

What about those ones that were like, they connect with your phone app and she could like be wearing the underwares there and while they're away from each other and they can, you know, use the app. That's good. Well, here's the thing, yeah, those are great ones too. So I think that the, yeah, the Raven

and the Nova by Wee by. And then, do you, do you climax with the internal or the external bets more external so i mean you should know what what about her i think that panty vibes i've been talking about these lately like i love by the people you guys are going out and put some of the kinky stuff though i think that you want

because there are these panty vibes that you can remote, like one of you could have the remote control and you can be wearing them out like when you're in public and stuff, but I think that I think you should just get some, the good news is you're both there and you're playing around together,

like you can share toys, just keep them clean. I would get some Wee Vibes toys because they're my favorite, they make the best I think literal vibes. I'm obsessed with the wish. Okay, I just had to like, I'm totally trying to think, this is why I love the wish.

This is the new We vibe toy. And it's, so you know the Clitoris has so many doorvennings. I'm like, you've heard of it. 8,000 doorvenings. However, the thing about the wish is that it works on your internal and external Clitoris, like the Clitoris has legs, right? So it's like a squishy ball,

but it fits over your entire, like your pelvic, your pubic mound, your pelvic floor, wherever you want up, like your pelvic floor, your labia, your whole area, it's like not just a typical clitoral toy. So I love the wish, and you guys can share that and move around, I think that's a great one. I think that you could get the FT London has a ring vibe.

It's called the the G ring. And the reason why I love this one is because your finger, it's a powerful waterproof vibrator. And I love this because it goes around your finger, any finger you want, and it may turn your finger into a vibrator. So this way you can like tease your nipples, you can like play with it, you can put it inside or I think it's waterproof You can like basically your hand becomes a vibrator and I think it's a great way to since you guys are you been together? How long? Eight months. Eight months. Thanks Anderson for paying so I feel like it's a great way to explore each other's like a rod in his zones and like kind of push it and see like where you guys

Could really turn each other on like nipple orgasms So I love that one. You got to have some good lube. Do you guys have good lube? We do, yeah. Okay. You guys, Cesar. Yeah, how do you have your job? Yeah. You have, Cesar? I'm looking. Yeah. I heard that's only what fake lesbian do, but no, that's not true. And especially if you guys are both external because you guys could trip that way. Trimming is when the of a giant is actually kiss. The reason I know that is because I worked on a love line and because there's this French film called Blues the Warmest Color that most of you should actually rent or watch your spare time over a bottle of wine. There's not a whole bunch of lesbian movies out there, so I think I've seen what there

are. Yeah, Blues the Warmest Color is the biggest one, but it sounds like you've already heard that. And I also, before we're done with our ad have a question. Okay, I also think, I mean, if you guys don't have a magic wand, I mean, that's just like, that's amazing because you can use it as a, you can also use it as a massage piece, but it's a great, you can. You love your magic wand. I love my magic wand, but everyone loves a magic wand.

And if you guys don't have one, it's a great investment, it's a good one. It's a good one. Harry Potter is a good one. And you can also, the good thing about the magic wand, you also get toppers for it. So if you decide to play with it, you get ones that are like you know, they have the top is turning it to a insertion toys So in an egg beater if you're making a cake. Yeah, okay, so what was your question?

It was that how so you guys bet you're both you're both first-timers or with the same sex relationship, right? Yes, how did you guys meet like out of this come about? She was dating my roommate who's a boy and it did work out So I was gonna pick up the pieces So she's that you're kind of like a rebound but it turned in on a month relationship No, she fell in love with me while she was dating him. Is that why you didn't work out with him because you were Disstruggled you to hang out with me We were just best friends and then it turns into words. You don't live with that guy anymore, do you?

No. Well, I think these are some good places to start and you guys already have a great set. Oh my God, Bets, this is great. Go to my website. You can check them out. I love this. Good luck with the relationship. It sounds really fun.

Thank you so much. Have a good day. Thank you for calling. Have a good day. Bye, Emily. Bye, everybody. Bye, sweetie. Good luck with you. I love that.

I was like so stoked. I'm like, okay, two vaginas, two vulvas. Like, I'm overwhelmed with the thing. Yeah, it's like a woman saying that. I want first vibrate. 16,000 nerve endings. 16,000 nerve endings. You had to worry about right there.

I know, and I wanted them all to be pleasure and tickled. That's why the new wish is awesome. I wish. I want you to see it. The wish doesn't seem like a good name for it. It's like I wish I could have an orgasm., but I'm like I know for me. It's like What I dreamed of the names are always so like like butterfly like just like light and like it was for a man like the plumber The story that just dropped you yeah

Okay, we've got Morgan. She's 24 from Los Angeles. And once she should give it, if she should give an ex-relationship a chance. Hey Morgan, I'm here with Anderson. Thanks for calling. Hi, how are you? I'm good. I'm so happy to talk to you. Yeah, I love your show.

Love you. You're amazing. Thank you. Thanks for having me. I love that you're here the whole X conundrum I feel you what is going on. Yeah, so we've been dating for about two years now They've been together you're after dating and We kind of fell into a really normal boring routine, kind of like an old Mary couple. And we started having sex. And so I ended things and moved home. And

I'm kind of in this weird phase where I don't know if I should get back with him or if I should just keep moving forward. Okay. Right. Right. So it's kind of, so you definitely love him and everything besides the sex. Right. It's kind of like a little bit of a problem.

Well, was this sex great? You were together two years, then you broke up, moved out and you said you had like make-up, like break- up sex or like X sex recently. Did you say that or no? You cut out for a second. I'm fine, but um, no, we haven't we've been hanging out, but I see. Okay, you've been a sex out. Okay, here's my question for you. First of all, you're 24. You lived together for two years. My question is, was the hot was the sex hot in the beginning? Um, not really. Okay, so, probably not. I'm going to tell you this, that if you don't have that, now here's sex takes work.

That's what my entire show, my life, is about helping people work on their sex lives. But if you guys have been together for two years and it was never that great and you're 24 years old, I'd say going back to try to work on it and teach each other what feels good to build a chemistry that wasn't even there. I think it's probably not the best idea and that maybe you do need some time to be low and I'm also going to think there's probably some other issues there, not just the sex, because it's never just one thing. Now if he's... Yeah. So I don't want to be like I don't like want to be so black and white like just dumb. But it's true. I mean it mean, it's like it's kind of true right?

Like if you were if you were driving a station wagon and you just wanted a speed around and you got tired of the boring station wagon because you couldn't speed and then you turned it in and then you go back to the car lot six months later and you're like, yeah, but the station wagon it's comfortable. It's familiar. I think I'm going to go back to it. You're still going to want to speed and you can't do that with this guy. And I don't know what you're hoping to accomplish when you guys broke up. I don't know if you're hoping to get a new relationship and that didn't happen and I just feel lonely so you're going back to

what's familiar. That happens to me. I think I was really I've been wanting to kind of work on myself a little bit because I'm in this weird transition with jobs and where I'm living and whatnot so I think I kind of wanted to focus on myself. That's a really important thing to do, Morgan. Especially at your age, you just got out of a two-year relationship. The best work you can do on yourself, I think, is without a partner.

I think that a lot of women and men, we just get right, go from one relationship to the next and we never take that time to work on ourselves. And I think the fact that you're even saying that, that's going to be hard to do if you're trying to build a sex life, rebuild a relationship. So I think you keep doing that. And there's going to be plenty of men out there for you to do if you're trying to build a sex life, rebuild a relationship. So I think you keep doing that. And there's gonna be plenty of men out there for you to meet when you're ready.

And if he's still around, he's gonna be. I put it in the box though, because he's so sweet. And he has everything else going from, but I don't like. And you can maybe be friends with him. I'm gonna be working on it. I know, I know, honey, I know. And it's like every got, I get it.

They're like amazing on paper and everything's great. And he loves you, but you're gonna find a lot of people who are gonna be that guy who's gonna be a nice guy,. And he loves you, but you're going to find a lot of people who are going to be that guy who's going to be nice guys, going to treat you well and you also want to have sex with them. And you're 24 today, Morgan. And you're going to be 30 before you know it. It goes by really fast, take it from me and Emily. I mean, we've both been there. And the last thing you want to do is get back in a rut and a relationship where you don't grow and you don't move forward. And it's just more years wasted. It might be comfortable.

It might be easy and might feel safe, but it's not going to help you. It's a proof. And I'm speaking from experience. I wish that somebody told me that because I kept going back to the same dead and relationships and I wasted some of my best years. Yeah. I mean, a part of me was like, maybe I can just move home and we could and live like a part for a little bit.

I'm trying to make it work. That's not going to make the station wagon of a guy turn into like a sports car. He's still going to have boring sex. Unless your thrill is to have sex in your house with your mom like downstairs. Right. I mean, you could still hang out and the sex might still happen, but if you can keep it as long as it's not a distraction to you. I mean, you can go back and have sex.

We're not afraid of this guy. This guy might be waiting to read. We might be in love. it sounds like you probably a unsure your first-year relationship i just think that you can be strong it's kind of like quick and anything like when you draw you got to quit him for a little bit take a second take a look at you know why or where you did you let them down easy as he know that it's because he's uh... it's yeah i've been brought up it's kind of me saying i want to do my own thing

and also we don't have sex. So kind of in here. I think you still want your own thing. That's clear, honey. I get to get to miss them and I get these amazing and you do this great thing. But work on yourself. You're going to be going through so much changes

right now in your 20s. And I just think that you got to just do you right now. And it could get murky, keep. I know, I know you love them. I know he's great. But I think you got to just keep going on this path You were right to move home and to figure this out yourself. You just need some space and time. Okay? Yeah, I know I mean it. I feel it too. Okay, honey. You got it. Just just take care of yourself

Do you I'm telling you the best work you've done you're welcome Thank you so much By Morgan do you Morgan? Do you Morgan masturbation month? That's a great time to spend alone, getting to know yourself in an intimate way. Every May, for example, it breaks up with whoever she's with. No, it used to be on their birthdays, not on purpose. It just would just kind of come up and I'd be like,

oh, it's your birthday. And guess what? We're over half the birthday. No, I didn't do it on purpose a few times or was it the birthday. So the deal is that, yeah, Morgan, and here's listening to Morgan 24, I can't tell you how many men I dated

to your relationships and I'd say, you know what, they're so great, they're so amazing, or whatever it was, but I'm not ready. And then you miss them, but I don't regret anything. Yeah, I was such a pansy, it cost me so many experiences, I'm sure. I mean, I did plenty in my life, I'm not like, you know, whining, but looking back, I was such a pus. And I would just go back to like, what's

comfortable and easy? Exactly. And that's, and it's really, that's the easy choice. The hard choice is to be strong and to stick with your gut and work on yourself. Anderson, so great having you back. Yeah, and it's good to be back. Every time it's like a reunion, but then it's like, you never been gone. That's, that's a sign of a good friendship. It is a really good friendship. Yeah. So good friendship. So I'm really proud of you. Thank you. Thank you. Love it.

Okay, thanks Anderson. And thanks everyone for listening. Thanks to my amazing team, Ken Halina, producer, Lark, Jamie, and Michael and Anderson, of course, thanks for being here. And thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me.

Feedback at sexwithemily.com. email me feedback at sexwithemily.com.