Sex With Emily - Best Of: Virgins, Cuckolds, & Unicorns

Episode Date: May 22, 2018

On today’s throwback show, Emily is joined by Menace and her San Francisco pal Stacy to talk about everything love, dating, fantasies, and sex. They talk about how to get past inexperience – in the bedroom and the dating world, what to do about post-orgasm exhaustion, and what science has to say about what men and women typically look for in a threesome – and it doesn’t look the same. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: JO Stimulants, Adam & Eve, Intensity, Magic Wand Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily today's show from dating disappointments to fetish uncertainties to what to make the perfect threesome according to science. We're covering a wide range of love and sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betruma eyes they call them in a bygone way. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common, but only? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I want to feel so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can easily subscribe to the podcast and you know what?

You know what happens when you subscribe right? Well it helps us when you subscribe but it helps you too because if you listen to podcasts men as you taught me this. Yes. If you listen to podcasts and you've really been listening to podcasts and you go back and it goes back to the beginning. Well if you subscribe it'll keep your knee a little placed, a minute 17, whatever, 28 and you go right back to goes back to the beginning. Well, if you subscribe, it'll keep your neat little place, minute 17, whatever, 28, and you go right back to it. It's great.

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So if you want to know about Facebook lives, also sign up for our million lives because we've got killer, like I send you one email a week, everyone loves it. And we give you like, we tell you, we kind of wrap up the sector of the early week because we do a lot of videos. You guys check out our YouTube page. We're always trying to educate you how we can get and entertain you and educate you. So we've got blogs. We went up every day, every day, fun stuff like that.

And, okay, we're end of August. Hey, men, do you know what September is? What? Well, for a lot of people, it's back to school, right? Back to school. You get your office supplies, all that. But this month, it's sex with Emily, we're taking you back to sexual confidence month. We're going to help you get that sexual confidence that you need, that you've been wanting. Who are you talking to ladies or fellas? Everyone. Really? Don't you men? Do listen to the emails that come in. We've all got sexual insecurities. We've all got places where we, you know, a lot of times you can feel really confident. Other times

you're like, God, I gained a few pounds or maybe that was really bad blow job I gave or maybe she didn't like me and wants me to do more in the bedroom. We hear from people all the time who are lacking confidence, and we know confidence is a huge part of success in life. But when it comes to confidence in the bedroom, that's what we're gonna happen this month, and we're gonna do a ton of giveaways, because I know you want some fun products and toys.

So you can have better sex. We'll kick it off on the September. Back to your self-confidence, the rest of the year, you're just gonna kill it. All right good. All right. How are you doing, Menace? I'm great. I have a new dog. Chimmy. Chimmy and Churro. Yeah, my two little French bulldogs, my two little babies. And I did that. You're all going out. Yeah, it's great. Now everything's good. And then the the Woody Show is doing great. We can't wait to have you back on. What was it blast?

We're about to launch in a couple other cities right now. That's exciting, I'm probably- It really days away from that right now. That's really exciting, like syndication. Yeah. Wow, dude. It's crazy. You're a big time.

You can't believe it. I love it. Yeah, do you like our billboards? I love it when you're like, you'll hate it. What's the one you want to move on? You'll probably hate it. Yeah, that's such a brilliant billboard. It says the Woody Show, you'll probably hate it.

Yeah, we have that one. Now sucks 40% less. Right. And then we have ones that has like emojis where it's in it's like a bull. And then the poo emoji. So it's other morning, it's like bull-ish. Oh, I get it.

Get it? No. But now I do. I'm glad I'm driving too fast to get it. But yeah, check it out. It's that you guys, they can stream it. Stream it wherever they're at, right? Yeah, I get it. Get it? No, but now I do. I'm glad I'm driving too fast to get it. But yeah, check it out. It's that you guys, they can stream it. Stream it wherever they're at, right? Yeah, I'm not ready yet.

I hire radio app money through Friday on the West Coast, 6 to 10 a.m. You guys have a good time now. And then we podcast every single day for 24 hours at noon. You're very concerned about that. It sucks because actually, you know what? I'm gonna give you the audio. Will you?

Can I promote that one? So you can put it on your podcast feed. Yeah, pretty sure Madison, we want it. Because the way she'll, we only put up her podcast for 24 hours at noon every day and then they're gone. Goes away, okay, so you'll send me. So I'm gonna send you the one where you were on the show. It was really fun, you guys should take a listen to it.

We'll add that to our feed. Can we do that? Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, it's fine. Oh, there you go. So good. I love it, help us help you, help all of us. I love it. Okay, and also I've got a friend here, Stacy. go. So good. I love it. Help us, help you, help us. I love it.

OK, and also, I've got a friend here, Stacey. Stacey in the building. We've been friends in high school. And but we really became great friends in San Francisco when you moved there. And she's visiting me. She just came in for the weekend. And she's just hanging.

I know. She's already enjoying the weekend we have here. I know. She's like, oh, my God, it's hot. Yeah. Oh, come on, come on, San Francisco. And it's freezing all the time. So feel free to jump in. Because I know you've got a tie. Yeah, come on from San Francisco. It's freezing all the time. So feel free to jump in,

because I know you've got a lot of advice. She's been one of my rocks in my life. Well, what are you guys gonna do all weekend? That's what I'm gonna do. I don't know. We're like spontaneous. Yeah. Everyone's like, what'd you plan?

What are you doing? I'm like, we don't plan. You're just gonna get on Bumble and see what happens. All right. I'm gonna, I don't wanna do this weekend. You're gonna get on Bumble and go crazy. I like Bumble and go crazy. I like Bumble.

I've been hearing lately a lot of Bumble talk. And I totally support it because I like the way the system works because I know guys suck. I'm one of them and they're gross. And I like how the system is where the woman reaches out. Yeah, the woman reaches out. So when they're interested. And I think that's great because

with guys you never because we can't read signs we talk about it we've been talking about for years and it's great to know that a woman is actually interested that like safe so much time i know and i felt that pressure so say so do you know about it do you know about how bumble you it's just like tender where you met to you get to both like each other, but the first message has to come from the woman and you've 24 hours to send it. So then I'm like reading their profile, trying to be funny, like I made like a Michigan Spartans joke, like some guy with Michigan State

and I'm like, well I'm a Wolverine, hopefully that doesn't matter, like I care about sports. But I was like, oh, I have to show that, because like I was like, how do I do this? Cause I really have never sent the first message to anybody. Yeah, because it's always the guy, so yeah. And I'm like, wait, back up Emily, you give advice for the last 10 years

to everyone you know about dating online. I can do it, I can do this. Yeah. So then I was, I think I sent some funny little quips to guys, but I was like, hey, so we matched, yeah. So I found few cute guys, but then. Yeah, and last time we talked about it, there was one that didn't match message you back

and how did that feel. He still didn't win away. You get to have that feel, because that's usually how the man feels. I know, right? He felt like, well, maybe you know what I thought? I'm like, he probably probably wasn't. He made excuses.

Yeah, he made excuses. He's probably an hospital debt. Yeah, yeah. Because how can he not be interested? I mean, that was fun. It's like when you get a text back, you're like, he must be dying. Yeah.

Because there's no way he didn't text me back. I know. Oh my god, Stacy and I spent a lot of time texting and exchanging, when texting, and I guess everyone's always been texting, but you know, you have a few cocktails and sometimes you just, we'd have to take each other's phones.

And then there'd be times where I did not want a text to guy, I'm like, don't let me text him, but I'd go to the bathroom. I'm like, I text him, I should make what you do. It's the worst, man, we don't want to text someone, but those days are gone, I'm just gonna swipe people. We're gonna swipe them all weekend, it'll be fun. So cool. Well, welcome. Thank you

Some fun. We're gonna get back to our sexual confidence. We're gonna start this weekend. Go to Malibu I saw you Malibu. Yeah, I went to Malibu. It was really fun. I went to party in Malibu and um, it was really pretty It's so I get there and I'm like why are I on the beach? Do you go to the beach? I? Do there's a there's a There's a place. I think it's called Paradise Coal from Malibu. It's pretty cool. It has a little private beach and stuff like that. You can have some good drinks.

I like that a lot. Yeah, you like the drinks in the beach. Yeah. Who does it? I think we should do that. The water's very clear in Malibu. It's lovely here in California. OK.

So that's what we'll do. It'll be fun. And now we have a little bit sex in the news. Yes. Okay. Oh, also very exciting. We read you emails, but this show we also have some voicemails. So we're going to tell you a little bit about that in a minute how you can leave voicemail, but all the information is on our site. So not only emails with voicemails as well. Just go to sexelmy.com, click on Ask Emily. Click on it. Okay. Sex in the news. Here's what's the perfect, here's what the perfect

threesome looks like according to science. Cause I know y'all like threesome news. We've all fantasized about having threesome, or a lot of people have. Beat with your girlfriend or her best friend or your best friend or two ram chicks from the bar, your brother's ex-wife, new husband, whatever it is, whatever combo you fantasize about. But there's a new study in the archives of sexual behavior that men and women have a very different idea about what constitutes an ideal threesome. So odds are your girlfriend might not be on the same page as you. No surprise that guys are really into threesome's.

I did not have to conduct this study. No way. You did not have to conduct it. So, but the truth. Wait, please tell me somebody got paid a lot of money to do that study. No, they probably did. Can you just give me money? I would do real research, okay?

You do it. But the data is to show that a lot of people just really aren't into three sums, but the people who did express interest in doing over two people at the same time were mostly men. And they were really enthusiastic about it. I know, this is a study But it seems that neither men nor women were interested in an MMMF Three-some male male female, but we're super men are super into the female female male Dude they spent money Information that you're sharing with me is you know my mind right now

I can't believe it and men and women both said'd prefer to know the people they have a threesome with, but women said they don't care so much who the third person is. So as long as the person joining was a unicorn, you know, as is a woman who's not attached. But really it was in Canada. I didn't mention that. And can you guys are so nice. So can we really base a study on Canadians? Study.

They're nice people. They're like, I don't want to rock the boat. Love Canadians. But there's no shock here. Man, I want thresms. I just thought that would just, I wouldn't have to be some kid. You just blew my mind.

Like when Stacy and I had thresms. I don't even know how I'm going to sleep at night. What? I know. We'll do this information. We'll learn how to get people. You know, the sex is kind of slow in the summer. Yeah, no.

In the sex sales, it's like sex toys, business slow. I was on vacation, having sex is kind of slow in the summer. Yeah, no, in the... Sex sales is like sex toys, business slow. It was on vacation, I mean, having sex, but they're not like at home on the internet talking about it. They're out, they're doing it, you know? Of course, it's a nice outside, with that, but I'm not having as much sex as the summer. It's really the driest summer I've ever had, but this is purposeful. What is going on with you?

It's kind of purposeful. I'm not really, I'm kind of doing a little bit of bumble and tinder stuff, but I'm just not, I honestly, I'm gonna be around people or. So you see that I'm gonna be around this weekend? Yeah, we're gonna be around. We'll get drunk. I'll drink with her.

I don't get that wrong. I'll drink. I know, but I will try to. And honestly, just, it's not top of mind right now. It's with nothing. I'm like, okay, yeah, I know it's weird. Usually there's like someone, now. It's with nothing. I'm like okay. Yeah, I know it's weird. Usually there's like someone But I'm okay with that. I think you caught up on somebody that used to date. I think this was going on

Good babe. That's exactly what's going on. I'm not caught up. Yep. That's what's going on. I feel it. I know it But that's uh-huh. Whatever it is. I think you've been in a situation that you've never been in before. You know it's so funny. And now. You know it's so funny. Now it's got you all messed up. I know it. Man, it's not. I've known you for 10 years.

All it is. Yeah, yeah. It was an interesting scenario. I've never, okay. So you know it's funny when I was in San Francisco, there was a guy, a woman in my class and her husband was like, listen to the show. He came one night to a dinner. He's like, okay, I listen to your show every day.

He's like, but you're dating this guy. He's on the show and then boom, you never talk about it again. And he goes, that's not fair. To your listeners, we need to know what happened. Yeah. So here I am talking about it. Are you getting talking about it right now? I forgot that I told him that I would.

So we were dating, kind of off it on for like a year and a half, a little bit committed. And honestly, I barely even told me about what I was doing. I haven't told you anything. I know, I know. And I really did like it. So for me, what's different is that a lot of relationships I've been in, I think I wasn't really,

I really, I've never been really committed. You mean like it? You've been like one foot out the door. I mean, you've known me through every year. You'd be six months in and you're already trying to get out. Yes. Half of them. Yeah, I'm saying there might have been one other that you were.

I can't remember who. Kind of committed. Okay. Anyways, that's something I was talking about the first situation. But the point is, is that that is my thing. I get in the great guys and I'm really into them like, but I don't know. I was kind of the grass always greener and I think, okay, it probably has intimacy issues, cumin issues, all that, you guys have been listening

to show for a while, but I've been working a lot on myself and I'm, you know, mature woman and I'm like, trying to figure out like what I want, but none of these guys I was dating, was ever, that we seemed a little bit more like, who knows what it, at this point in life, I don't ever really think it's about the person you're dating, they did something wrong unless of course they were really abusive. It's just more that you're in different places and you want different things. So with the guys, I don't ever really think it's about the person you're dating. They did something wrong unless, of course, they were really abusive.

It's just more that you're in different places and you want different things. So with the guys I was dating, how it always felt to me was that they always wanted a lot more for me than I could give because I was working all the time. I was building this business. I was supporting myself, trying to make it work. And if they were like, you working much, I'm like, this is over. Like, I got to be working. I got to be doing it.

Now, people could also say, that's just an excuse. That was keeping yourself from a relationship, you know, who knows? But that was my real story. So now it's like, so when I was dating this guy, it was interesting because he also was very busy. It wasn't like typical needy guys dating, and I wasn't needy, and it was very casual,

and things were good, and then we like committed, and we're together. And I think it's, it kind of reminds me of myself like how I was maybe five years ago, like how he's not really sure, he might want kids, I don't want kids. So that was kind of a big factor. Like I don't, I'm not having kids. I love kids. It's just my body never said to me, Emily, you well of children. It's like you will give birth to sex with Emily. Like, this will be your thing. Yeah.

And so, you know, and I think that he's at the stage where he's just trying to figure himself out what he wants, but we're still like close and he still thinks, you know, wants to be friends or we could maybe try it, but it was a lot of back and forth. And the reason why it felt very different to me is because I've never been, I, I'm not one of these women who like date bad boys or date relationships that are unstable. Like, we broke up. We got back together. We broke up. But that's exactly what happened with this. It wasn't unstable. It was just back. No, give it together

And I get why that's very Intoxicating for some people because it's always exciting, but for me, it's just like I wanted something a little more like Stable and you know, but I think he's a wonderful person and we just I honestly think it's that we're just in different places But we've like a great love for each other. And there was no like mean tear break up. It's just that he wants different. But, okay, so this is, this is just what I predict kind of happened. Oh God, okay. But it could be totally true.

So good. From what you told me, so is he the one that kind of broke it off? No, I ended up. You broke it up. I broke it up. Yeah, you'd be completely on. 100% I think. Because you just told me that things that he wanted. Right, I ended up you broke up. Yeah, you be completely on 100% because you just told me that things that he wanted right It wasn't working for me. Well, but it wasn't even just but that he was like, but I'm not sure if I want kids

But he's never been I just first girlfriend. Uh-huh He's never been in and you know, in his late 30 Like never been in a relationship never been in love like this like it was his first everything So it was very I'm here for it. He had sex before But I ended it because there was a lot of back and forth with him like it was his first everything. So it was very, hey, for the insects before. But I added it because there was a lot of back and forth with him, like he was so into it and then he would get like scared and what if this and that,

and his head a lot, and I was like, I can't, this is not, this isn't fun. I want to travel, I want to do things. Yeah, well, exactly. I said, this is like doing me five, so I have such compassion for him because I was like, it's how I was, but I'm not feeling that right now.

So it was interesting to me to feel, do not feel that way. And to see someone else going through the same kind of, like there might be something else or this, I might not be ready. And I wasn't ready five years ago. Like I wasn't. Yeah.

He's younger than me. So I was like, I get it. But I ended it because I couldn't, I didn't want the back and forth and we didn't want the same things. So for the very first time, you saw the other side, and now you're kind of freaked out about it.

I'm not freaked out about it. I just, I really liked them. I really loved them. I really do. So, but that's, yeah, but it's been like six, seven months. Wow. Yeah. But I don't think that's what I'm now updating again,

but I'm also not in the place either where I'm like, my life is really full right now, but like I'm dying. I think that also the best time to find someone, they say this might sound very cliche, but like I'm not actively like, my life is really full right now. I'm not like, I'm dying. I think that also the best time to find someone, they say this might sound very cliche, but I'm not actively like, I need to date every night, I'm like desperate, I'm not at all. I'm just kind of like doing my life and it's not a top of all.

You're out of time where it could happen, it happens. Yeah, and it will happen, don't get me wrong. I'm not ever concerned that I'm not going to meet someone and find someone when I'm truly ready to be, I don't even know that I want to live with anybody. I'm truly ready to be, I don't even know that I wanna live with anybody. I'm not your typical female in that way either. So I kinda like my independence,

but I was like a travel, he wasn't place where he could travel right now. I wanna take trips and do things, I'm gonna go get my ass off for 20 years. But I ended it, dude, but it doesn't get as hurt. It's crazy. Anything you'd like to say there, you've known me through every guy I've ever dated.

It's the first time you really attached to someone really seriously committed. You can say you're afraid of commitment and you did go back and forth. And you finally did it and then it didn't work out. See, that's why I think you're kind of. That's not the right term, but that's why you're like. You broke your pattern. Yeah. That's why I'm saying,

and that's why it feels so good to me because it made me realize that I can't, like I don't, yes, it's probably, it has to do with him, it's him, but I also think it's a stage of my life. I realized for so long, I was the one who was, and I know it's a kind of a male tendency, typically you're like, oh, that's like guys,

but I was like, I've got to work, I've got to support myself. I can't really be in this and give you everything that you need. And so I kept ending relationship, not thinking that I could be in it. But now, like, things are good. Like work is fine.

I'm like paying the bills. It's okay. Things are stabilized. I'm in a good place. And I'm like, I have room for a relationship right now. And he really does it. Because he's got a job. He's got a job.

He's got a job. It doesn't matter. But it made me realize that I could have do this. And I want to. Well, I think because you really do care about him, I want you to be able to let him go because he wasn got a job, he's got a job, he doesn't matter, but it made me realize that I could have do this. And I wanted to. Well, I think because you really do care about him, I want you to be able to let him go because he wasn't ready yet. Yeah, right. And I got it.

I got it. I've been there. Well, I say, F it move on. Dude, I move, I'm on. I'm just doesn't know what a thing everyone. There's a window here, there's a bunch of people. There's a bunch of people. There's a bunch of plastic paint-assisting on the window.

Right out there. It's true. It's like Donald's just hit. There's a nice shelman dowels now. Right out there. It's true. It's like Donald's just hit. There's a nice gentleman with a couple chicken nuggets right there. I just know there's my dowels across the street. I did. Someone's like, there's my dowels right across the street.

I'm like, I heard that. I said, I'm not a detailed person per se. Wow. Okay, so any other questions that we've had on like, no, but it's great that you share that. That's awesome. So people actually know like what's going on. You guys, I think it means to be,

it's just weird, you know why? I also like to keep privacy for him. Like I don't like to talk about, even when I go on dates, I'll like, are you gonna talk about this? And I really don't like to share like, you know, personal thing. Well, he'll like, go out with them.

Like I don't want to share. You didn't know about their life or something like that, but you can at least talk about it. Yeah. So there we go. It was an adequate way. He had a really nice penis. No. So I don't remember. Okay there we go. It was an adequate. It was an extremely nice penis.

No. So I don't remember. Okay. Albert, you need this. I felt it. Right. She probably has photos in her phone right now. No, no dick pics.

I think that ever said, maybe that's why I never said to my niece you could photo this. Do you think that's why I dend it? Yep. That's why it's over. Okay. So are we ready now? Any other questions?

Yeah. No. It's great. We'll move on to you. Oh, first before we get to email. Get a thousand emails. I'll take you out. Emily, don't worry about it. We get those anyway. Yeah, as Emily, go to sexathamely.com, ask Emily. Yeah, ask away, ask away.

Ask away. Right, send pictures, not penis ones. Okay, we'll be right back. We're going to have a shout out to our sponsors. Thanks everyone for listening and supporting them. Okay, everyone, thanks for listening to the show. We're on to the emails. Thanks for emailing me feedback at sexwithm.com.

We love hearing from you. We get so many great emails lately and include your name, where you're listening from and how you listen your email. But also you can click on the ask Emily button on the site emails right from there. And voice mail today, we've got some of your voice mail. I'm really excited about that. So producer Madison, should we start with voice as you can up now? Oh, we're going to start with voice mail.

Okay, everyone, this is the number. It's 818-ask-swe1 or 818-275-7931. All right, let's do it. Hi, Emily. My name is Sam and I'm from New York. I'm 23 years old and I've been with my boyfriend for six years. Our relationship is amazing and I could not be happier with him. He's a really, he's like a pleaser in bed and really gets off on, you know, me getting off, but I have a problem. As soon as I have an orgasm, I'm done. I'm close

for business. I don't want anything else. I get completely turned off and my body doesn't want to go around to or anything at the store. My work in tells me it feels like I'm almost disgusted by him afterwards, which is so not true, but I guess that's how it comes off. But because when I'm done, I'm done. I know these are the common stereotypes

that I don't know any girls who have had this problem. Is there anything I can do to fix it? Thanks for the dance, love your show. Thank you. Okay, that's a good question. That is. She's definitely not. She rubs it out, she's done, not rubs it out.

Because the rest of the way she has one, she's okay. So. It definitely sounds like the guys perspective because that's exactly how guys feel. Yeah, guys roll over. I mean, again, I don't speak for all guys. Don't send your emails, because I won't read them. But a lot of guys that I talk to,

that's exactly how they feel, because the moment they're done, they have their orgasm, it's actually painful. Right. And then so they're done immediately. Right, it's true. Like, it's like cuddle hormone too, like the cobalt, like you get the dopamine,

the serotonin and you, it spikes, right? And then you, it drops right after you've got immediately. Like my family is telling me, he's like, he has this image and this is gonna sound sexist coming from a man, which he is a sex man. But he was like, I just had this image of like after I've sex with a woman, he's like all of a sudden, I just like picture it,

like I wish the whole floor would just come and like a trap door, she's the trap door, she's going. Well, it seems like the colors feel the same way. So Sam, here's the thing, I totally get what you're saying. And maybe he needs a little bit of like, you know, a little love and after that little tenderness, little cuddling or something, but also, why not wait until you have your,

he has his orgasm and then you have your orgasm because you're thinking you want to keep going. I'm curious to be both like come together and then you want to keep going because he could have his and then you have yours. This good plan. Yeah, it's a good plan. Yeah, I have him go first. Also, I mean, I get what you're saying. Like when you're done, sometimes you are done, but there might have to be like if if he's telling you right now, like you seem disgusted, you probably don't even know this, you're like in a blissful state,

but maybe you just have to be more mindful of, you know, right afterwards, maybe he needs you to cuddle or back rub. I don't know what, but if he wants to keep going, we've for a lot of women after orgasms kind of painful. Like it hurts. However, you know, we talked a lot on this show, we've done a lot of shows on how to have a multiple orgasm, We've got blogs on our site. It's something if you were interested, you could practice a little to help us to practice during masturbation because, you know, there's a refractory

period for women, it's much shorter than men and you might be able to train yourself to go again for around two. But, you know, that takes some work if you never have. But I think that it's a little bit of compromise. What do you think? Is it for happy to stay see after you orgasm? Yeah, in certain relationships, yes. But then others, it could go six times in an afternoon or evening or day or whatever. And you know, right? Sometimes it depends on the person that I'm with quite frankly in our sexual chemistry. It's so determined how often, how quick. No. Right. I think that, I mean, Sam, also, I wonder if there's

anything about him though. Like, anything you guys could do differently. It sounds like he knows how to get you there. I'm not sure if you're having it during intercourse or what, but it sounds like you just kind of like kind of, maybe he needs to prolong it more, a little more for a play. But, you know, I like, I've had guys just want to shut down, like, you're a NAC one at least 10 minutes talk to me.

I like talk exactly. I like to talk to talk about the suggestion of let him go first or just you know just cuddle with the The baby Two sons after yeah, you guys can have wise this one especially if he's feeling disgusted rejected I like change of your wish. I wish I was with somebody Never tracked Like us. This is the problem in life, right? Man's dream right there. I know, right?

OK, should we get the other? Yeah, what else? Get another email? Another voice mail? Voice mail. Back to back and then we got some emails. This is fun. Like our voice mail?

Yeah, do. It's a story. Yeah, we'll start. That's great. That's the second show we've done it. We're going to see your voices. It gets better. Yeah, really personal.

Some reading. Not reading. Hi, Emily, my name is Alice. I am 22 years old and I'm from Torrington, Connecticut. I'm just calling because my boyfriend is two years and I recently took vacation to separate areas of Washington, T.C. And I stayed with a mutual friend of ours who I discovered had been a person he once had a relationship with. I never knew that, and that's totally fine. It doesn't bother me. But what was interesting to me was that he apparently had a party we had both all been recently at. He had asked her if she would be interested in having a three-some with the two of us. And that is something that I've always told him that I'm just really not into with another

girl, maybe I'd be open to with another guy, but I don't know, the beat just for me. So I was just calling to kind of see, I don't know how to react to this and how to bring it up to him. In the past he told me he has cuckled fantasies and things like that and I tried to involve him before in role play sort of things but that's just not really of my alley. So any advice is greatly appreciated. I don't know, have a good day, thank you. All right. I know that was good.

Love in these voicemails. That's a personal. He's out there fishing without you knowing. Wow, yeah, that is just, I mean, he's, so they've talked about the threesome thing. And then I'm wondering if they were at a party a little buzzed. He sees this other guy talk there.

He's like, hey, what about a threesome? I bet you probably, I'm assuming there was alcohol and I don't think they were at a lunch. But either way, that's not an excuse. And I don't think that's cool at all that he proposition a friend. Yeah, but I mean, I mean, if this is something that you're really into, this is what I suggested you.

I suggest, does lay some ground rules say, hey, look, I'm not comfortable with this. This is the look, I'm not comfortable with this. This is the stuff that I'm not comfortable with. You talking to other people about having three sums and stuff like that. Don't have it like a huge argument or anything like that. And don't harp on it and bring it up constantly. You should have one discussion about it

and tell them how you feel and if it comes up again, then that's up to you if you wanna cut it off or not. It's a really good advice, my friend. Thank you. I appreciate that. I think it's right. I think that this is not a relationship under, not a deal breaker for this relationship,

but you gotta just lay down the ground, say, listen babe, we haven't even agreed that we're having a threesome yet. I've told you I've been thinking about it, but to proposition somebody really hurt my feelings. I think it's just disrespectful and that didn't make you feel good. So we can continue to talk about it, seeing you for on the same page with it.

Because like I've always said, we've just just shown three times recent, we always do a lot of shows and three times. But you gotta be in solid ground. You really gotta like, agree to the ground rules. And you gotta have like, all your boundaries set up before high,

and you just don't jump into it. Okay, good advice. Except for, unless you're all on a task, right, Stacy, then we can have a threesome. Oh, all the time. That's fine. Okay. Dear Emily, how can I initiate sex with a very, very shy girl without scaring her off? John, 30, Iowa. This is great, right to the point.

Yeah. Aww, he, but with a shy girl without scaring her off. Shy. She's not that shy. Come on. She just plays it. No, she doesn't. Well, you think she's going to time up.

Well, I think he's over there. Right, exactly. Never know. So he's the white woman. So he's the white woman. So he's the white woman. You never know who's got a dungeon. I just think that, you know, again, this is your inside your head with this.

She's really shy. And here's the thing about shy people. That they're shy when they don't know you. But I can assume that when you guys are together, if you start dating, you start hanging out, that you're gonna know when you've established that level of comfort and when it's the right time. So all I can say is if she's not,

I don't know if you guys are dating or not, you're saying initiating sex, I'm assuming that you are. But if you've gone on a few dates right now, I would just start, you know, you got to start kissing her because otherwise you're going to go right into the friend zone. So that's what happens when guys don't make the move soon enough. Some guys make it too soon and the girl can get turned off. But if she shy, then you need to make the move. I just think you

can, you know, just lean in slowly. Don't pressure it all. And I mean, if she likes you, which is going out with with you I'm assuming she's waiting for the move. What do you think? Yeah the trust level right? The current trust level like you just have to comfort. Yeah women need comfort they need trust they want to trust you that's why a lot of women like they just they want to wait they want to feel like you're someone they can trust so sure that you're a good guy stick to your word if you make plans with their show up and like keep being that guy that she likes and then she'll you know it'll come around and if it doesn't, that's okay. But how would you scare off if you like

a tactor or lock the door or whatever, but it doesn't sound like... That's smart to work. That's your emailing me, you're like a sensitive dude. Okay, next email, Emily, I've been single for a year and a half, I've been single for a year after five year relationship. I just started day again since January and it's not going well. I've met guys at bars and I know it's not going anywhere. I've been on dating apps and the guys I meet end up getting, get, end up and getting to know only stick around for a month. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm really chill. Don't make a fuss about stuff. The last guy I got to know I saw once a week because he lived 30 minutes away. I'm either at work home or at the gym.

I'm training for Spartan race, thought maybe I'd meet someone at the gym but no one ever approaches me so I just work out and go home. I'm cute, I think I'm cute. I'm 5'2", 125 pounds. I have a bubbly, fun personality so I don't know why I'm having trouble getting someone to stick around.

Thanks for the help, Michelle, age 26, Southern California. Huh. Yeah, I think she doesn't believe that she's available. Like she has a few guys that don't call her and she's letting this all take a tumble. This is good for self-esteem back to self-confidence of Timber. Because I feel like Michelle, you're not believing in yourself right now.

I think the only like turn off within that short of time is maybe you seem a little too eager. That's the only thing that I could see that could be an issue that big skies run away. When you're really eager, like yeah, calling right after. Yeah, super eager. Just like reaching out all the time on email, text, Facebook. I think other than that, yeah, that could be the only thing that could be a turn off. Just check yourself and see how much communication that you're putting out there with that person. Right. I'm thinking the confidence, like you just mentioned, because you put off that energy. If you're trying so hard, I need to find a date. Why can't I find

it? You're just trying, you're putting that weird energy off, or not weird, but it's just different. And that's not very attractive. So that's all the time. Like, Sacy and I've gone through the years. Confidence, energy makes people more attractive. When you believe in yourself and you're feeling good and confident, it's amazing that that men will block you, everyone will block you.

But when you're going out feeling like another guy, it's gonna reject me and I'm not gonna meet someone. And you don't even know this, but like you've got that desperation perhaps coming out. It's not gonna be attractive Yeah, I know I've been in situation before where this person knows that I'm at work But they're trying to like text me and ask me like funny questions. They're super cool But I'm just like I like I'm busy. Yeah, I'm a little bit busy. I'd love to talk to you on my free time But I don't know that can play games That might not even be the situation what's happening It's so hard to tell because I wasn't there like I wish Michelle

I could go on a date with you and tell you but I'm sure to be honest You're not doing anything wrong and to me it's probably like what two guys didn't call you after it sounds like another guy The 30 minutes, but I think that we create stories like every guys wasn't 20 guys. It might have been two and again If you're I don't know if you're dating on the Tinder world, it's like a lot of people are just like not looking to have something long term. It's a numbers game, you know? Yep, it's true.

Get on Bumble, I'm loving it. I mean, I'm not on Bumble, but I just loved it. I love the situation that they're putting out. Yeah, it's good. And you got 24 hours too, so you can't look at Tinder, I've got matches for like a year and you don't loved it. I love the situation that they're putting out. Yeah, it's good. And you got 24 hours too. So you can't, like, on Tinder, I've got matches for like a year and you don't have.

But that's like there, it's like, if you don't message, it's good. That's cool. Okay, got one more email. Hey, Emily, my name is Paul. I'm 24 from Colorado. I lost my Virginia and my girlfriend about three months ago. And I'm obviously extremely inexperienced and new to sex.

My girlfriend was not a virgin before she met me and when we have sex I can tell that she does not really enjoy it. I always try to communicate as much as possible, ask her what she wants me to do, or if I can change anything up. I'm open to trying new things but she never lets me know what she wants me to do. Whenever I ask about doing things or ask if she's enjoying what we're doing, she responds in basically the same way. I like that it makes you feel good, don't worry about how it feels to me.

I love everything about her, but it kills me to know that she isn't enjoying having sex with me, and that spirals into major self-consciousness. I've gone down a few times, but the last couple times I offered to go down, she denies me. I want to do anything that I can to make her feel good, and she makes me feel in the bedroom, but just really have no idea what I'm doing. I need help. What can you begin her like myself due to improvement bed? How do I open up and communicate even more often? A guy needs some help, from a guy that needs help. Shout out to Mattis Anderson, everybody else involved in this podcast,

it rocks. Sweet. Thank you, Guy, who needs some help. We're here to help you, Guy, who needs some help. Guy, I'm sorry to jump right in. But I think it goes back to the last email. It's like maybe being a little, little two eagerness. I know we say communication is lubrication and all that, but might being a little two eager after, because like, I'm actually having a sex with a guy every single time after he goes, was that okay? Did you like that?

Did you enjoy that? That might be a little off-putting a little bit. I'm not saying don't have any communication, but try to have communication every single time you have sex. I know that if it was a woman doing that, I'd be kind of like, oh no, it's okay. Right, because you told me like, yeah, it's fine.

Yeah, I mean, to have that, maybe have that conversation every, like the fifth time, you know? I don't know, you got to break it up. I think like trying to talk about it every single time is definitely off-putting and scary. I think that that could be something, that could be part of it, but I also, I read this, I thought, how do you know she's down into it?

Because she didn't want you to go down in her. She's not telling you what she likes. These are assumptions. He's assuming that she doesn't like it. He's like, I want her to like it. I want her to like it. Because she's actually said to you, it's good. You also went into this thinking that he was behind her

in the skills department, because he was a virgin. So you've already gone into it, feeling like you were less or than. And you're gonna be a better man. She's having sex with men like, you know. So you've already gone into it feeling like you were lesser than. And she's having sex with men like, you know, she's not leaving. Right. But I think he's also asking the question wrong. And he's asking it wrong for her to say what does she want? How to mix it up.

A lot of girls are going to come up blank, even if they have tons of experience. So the line of questioning isn't works. So I would try like an either or question, like give her a choice. Like, so do you like it when I go down on you before? Like do you like it when I use my tongue like this? Or do you like it better when I use my fingers? How did it, and not even during intercourse, but like it could be afterwards.

Like last night was really hot. I feel like when you were on top, that was really sexy the way you're moving. But then when it was doggy style, like it seemed like you came. Which one felt about, you know, it's like your line of questioning is that's just clearly not working. So not everyone's gonna be able to say, well here's what I really want. Yeah, and I think your point about the timing is everything too, because you're sitting there

almost play by play and it becomes not romantic or passionate, it's like, what do you need, what do you want? Yeah, exactly. What do you want, what do you want? Like a lot of people are not, guys aren't gonna answer, girls aren't answer. So you gotta get really specific. But you might not What do you want? Exactly. What do you want? What do you want? A lot of people are not. Guys aren't going to answer, girls aren't answers. So you've got to get really specific. But you might not know what you want.

Exactly. So maybe you could say like, God, you know, I really knew it sex too. As you know, whatever, let's do some fun things. And then you could like go sex, toy shopping. Buy my book. I have a book called Hot Sex Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight, which is an awesome book for couples. I have a lot of friends who use it.

A lot of listeners. You get an Amazon on my website, like 30 bucks. It's like such a good investment because you can open it to any page and you can just be sitting there and you can do anything on the page. It's like positions and funny, fun things to try, little for play moves,

but you guys don't think you might need some more watch support together, like some things to get some more information on because you're not getting enough. But don't put yourself up yet because there's no mutual masturbation. I love mutual masturbation It's awesome I mean for couples because you can really learn about how she touches herself and what pleases her

Should learn what pleases you. It's a hot thing to do. It's like a little sexy movie So those are my recommendations for you But again, don't make these assumptions that your bad and bad she's unhappy because she did not say that okay Thank you so much for your email, I appreciate it. We're here to help, aren't we? We are. Anything else? Thank you, Stacey, for being here

and helping me bring down. Analyzing my, I don't even need therapy ever again. Never, I get down. There's so much better. This was fun, thank you. Thank you. You all are happy back to self-confidence September. So stay tuned to all of our social media

and our podcasts and stuff. And we just love hearing from you. Thank you. It's amazing. Love you, menace. Fell Menace at Menace in the Woody show and all that stuff. Thank you, Madison, Laurie, Jamie, Eddie, Stacy, of course. And thanks everyone for listening.

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