Sex With Emily - Big Mouths & Better Sex (Talk) with Gil Ozeri

Episode Date: December 22, 2018

On today’s show, Emily is joined by writer, actor, and comedian Gil Ozeri to talk about the Netflix show Big Mouth – and she’s taking your calls. Emily & Gil talk about why sex ed is so important and needs better instruction, as well as the things we all go through growing up – and honestly, are still going through now. Then helps callers with the best blowjob tips, ways to make FaceTime sex super hot, and how to get your sexual connection back. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Foria, Plus One, We-Vibe, Sirius & Good Vibrations Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemily For More on Gil Ozeri: Click Here Follow Gil on instagram & twitter: @tallgilozeri // @gilozeri For even more sex advice, tips & tricks, visit: sexwithemily.com Check out even more Sex With Emily on SiriusXMStars 109 Mon-Fri 5-7pm PST!   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm joined by writer actor and comedian Gilles Zéry to talk about the Netflix show Big Mouth, one of my all-time favorite shows. And I'm taking your calls. Topics include, why sex is so important and needs to be taught differently. The things we all go through growing up, and let's be honest, are still going through now. Top tips for going down on your man and how to make FaceTime sex super hot. All this and more, thanks for listening. and how to make FaceTime sex super hot. All this and more, thanks for listening.

[♪ INTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ INTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here, I'm so gone. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Evelyn is not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between.

For more information, you can check everything out at sexwithemlee.com. Please follow us on social media across the board. It's all at sex with Emily. And if you haven't heard, you can catch me Monday through Friday from 5 to 7 p.m. on serious sex M stars, satellite radio, channel 109 for even more sex talk calls, play games, it's good time so check it out you guys. I hope you guys enjoy this interview with Gila Ziri. One of the writers for the Netflix show Big Mouth, if you haven't seen Big Mouth yet, please check it out. It is

amazing for her. I believe teenagers and adults and anybody who's ever had sex. So enjoy this episode, guys. Thanks for listening. I want to welcome Gil Ozeri. He wrote for a lot of shows you all know, like Brooklyn 9.9 and Happy Endings, including one of my favorites, Bigmouth on Netflix. Hi, Gil. Hi. Hi. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited that you were able to come in because we're all obsessed. Oh, thank you very much. I appreciate it. I'm very happy to be here. Good, but it's great to see you. So for people who haven't seen Big Mouth, how would you explain Big Mouth? I would say it's a show about some kids who are going through puberty and some of them are having a harder time than others.

And basically, the conceited the show is that they can talk to their hormone monsters and monstroses who often have a direct them as to how to behave. And it's about dealing with that and dealing with puberty and dealing with all types of things that you sort of deal with around that age around seventh grade Exactly, because it takes you right back into animation animated. Animated? Yes. And so first of all, it's everything that you know, we talk about in the show, but it's hilarious. But it does take you back to those moments and like the hormone monster, to me, what a brilliant way to describe to guys

to boys in seventh grade who don't know why they're getting erections and how awkward that has to be are for women having their hormone monster. Why do you hate your mom and like, why do you hate everyone in the screen and yell? And like just on your boobs are growing and all the things that happen. And I just thought this is probably the most brilliant thing

I've ever seen about sex ed for kids. And what do you think about parents showing it to their kids? You think it, I feel like they should at a certain age? I mean, I know some I've heard both, you know, how awkward it might be to be watching that, but I hope it can sort of like, you know, straddle both. I think the show is for young people too and also for adults and how to talk to their kids and stuff and if parents can watch it with their kids and get through some of those like hard subjects, then that would be great. That would be awesome.

Because that's a thing that so many parents always come to me friends, people on the show, they're like, how do we talk about it? And I know I had terrible sex at. I barely, all I remember is some kid raises a hand that can give sex underwater. Like that's literally all I remember and nothing else.

And then probably like the phallopium, too. Yeah, I feel like no one ever spoke, like sex said was really, no one ever spoke to me about that stuff, especially my parents did not. It was like avoid, avoid, avoid the subject. And you know, part of that leads to, and something that we deal with in the second season, a big mouth is like shame and guilt over this stuff. And just talking about it, you know, it makes it easier to deal with. Exactly.

And like, it is true. I mean, and now, like, so what I'm doing now for a living is I take calls from people who are still carrying that shame. A lot of us have shame around everything we do, every time we have sex, we masturbate, we feel bad. And so, it just, it comes from, and then what I love is I'm big mouth,

is that it just, it shows exactly how they get starts You know that you feel one person takes one person saying like I can't believe you masturbated or you had an erection Right her boobs get big and you literally carry that you carry this around for the rest of your life and less You realize it. It's normal. It's like everyone else. There's nothing to be shame, you know Yeah, exactly. I mean a a lot of this season we took, we started to listen and read and watch videos from people like Brunei Brown who talk about shame and how the difference between shame and guilt

and how guilt is like, I feel bad and shame is I am bad and how you can sort of turn all these terrible feelings that people put on you on yourself. And the only way to sort of really deal with that is to talk about them with your friends and talk about them with your parents and your loved ones. So yeah, I wish Bigmouth was around when I was a kid.

I would, you know, I feel like I would be a more well-adjusted human being. Exactly. Because it's that one scene in the second season when they're all, it's amazing. When they're, I think, did you write the final? I wrote the finale, yeah. The finale, right. Thank you.

I want to. Thank you very much. Thank you. That was so freaking nice. Well, I should say, when I say write it, it's also like the writer's room. I know, I know, it's everyone. It's everyone.

OK, but your name came up first. So what I'm saying is, that scene, I literally rewatch it. I was my boyfriend. I'm like, I know it's everyone. Okay, but your name came up first. So what I'm saying is I was, that scene I literally rewatched it. I was my boyfriend. I'm like, I do this when I get excited. I'm like, this is fucking brilliant. Cause it's like all the kids are like in the gymnasium. I'm not even, no, I might butcher,

but they were all having their word shame about something. Like I'm worried that no one likes me cause I said this thing. Right. I'm worried that I was flirting with this girl or maybe I shouldn't have kissed this boy and every single person had like this dark cloud of shame around them. Which to me, it was just brilliant to show that all the things that we worry about.

And as adults, we do that as we don't, we've all been to parties and that things we're worrying about. And we're also susceptible to it too. Our all of a sudden set is just a brilliant way of handling it. Oh, I appreciate that. Thank you. So what else is going on with you? You know, writing, I just had. Yeah. So what else is going out with you? You know, writing, I just had a kid.

Yeah, a baby. Congratulations. Thank you very much. A good kind. A sweet kind. She's not at the devil incarnate, which is good. Okay, good. She's sweet.

Her name is Nina. She's very cute. She just started walking. Oh, that's so fun. Yeah, it's really fun. Yeah, that changes everything. She likes to move stuff around the house, you know, from one side of the house to another.

Like the furniture? Actually, yes, she pushes our coffee table all over the house. So yeah, we don't want it moved, but you don't know. I thought she's a pension for decorating, like that'd be cool if he found out at one. So how long have you been with your wife? I have 10 years. Oh, good.

Yeah, at least 10 years. I think that's, that's good, great. That's good, right? So how's your sex life going now? It's good, yeah. You know, it's good. It's a change after it's a kid. Oh, yes, that definitely affects stuff.

There's less time, and I would say that at the end of the day, I'm pretty much exhausted and so is she. So like to get, you know, to get it going is a lot harder. It takes more effort. It takes more effort. Yeah. What do you do here? Do you hear about that often? About effort and stuff? Every single day. I mean, now we're probably going to get a bunch of calls, but which is great because I've only been here three nights, but we talk a lot about this because what happens is I Think like you have a kid and and people don't tell you this that like yeah, I don't tell you anything literally nothing

How can you I curse on here now? Yeah, fuck yeah, they don't say jack shit I mean they don't I feel like even about the birth process. They didn't tell us anything and then it's just like you're I Just feel like every day. I'm like, well, oh tell us anything. And then it's just like, I just feel like every day I'm like, oh, this is, oh, this is how it is. Yeah, exactly. Like I had no idea, right? So then the thing about when it comes to like, yeah, parenting, you're exhausted.

And then women, they go in from the hospital and their doctor will say like, oh, you'll be good in six weeks. Yeah. Sex again. And for so many women, that's just not the case. They still have pain, things are still healing. Yeah, I don't think I'd be selling out my,

or exposing my wife. She has a lot of like, foot pain and stuff. And it just, you don't want to do necessarily anything like sexual. If you have like a ton of pain. And no one is like, no one told us that that might be a possibility. Do you think that's like a secret? Like someone's holding, they don't tell people because they wanted to percrate it's really hard.

But you know, it's also the best you have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it is, but I think they don't want to scare you. Right. Once you're pregnant, it's just like, you don't want to like onslaught of like fears and... Exactly. Your sex life will never be the same.

Yeah. But that's not true. It will come together again. Or maybe it already is. But I just think that we don't talk about how women's bodies change and that whole process that a lot of women were talking about this earlier, they don't even know their own bodies. I'm not saying this, I don't know your wife, but I'm saying tip it over women. I was encouraging people because on my Instagram today, it's at sex with Emily.

On my Instagram, I had's at Sex with Emily. On my Instagram, I had this post about women just take a look. Like take a look at your, could you pick your vagina out of a lineup? Because we don't often do what a look we're disconnected and we, it's just like, I just, I don't wanna look. I don't understand my body. And then you give a baby, if you get a human

that goes through your body, right? And then a whole human, and then you get your body back. And you're like, well, I didn't know before. And now it's like, I don't even know exactly. It's scary to do. And it's like, it's easier to avoid stuff than to actually put in the effort. And I feel like, you know, if you can get over that hump

and just sort of put the practice in, then it becomes easier. But it is, it's hard to get over that hump. It can be. It is. Well, I gave you some treats in a little back here. Because I thought it was important. I didn't even know that your baby was one year old,

but the thing is that I think also is on for couples who are going through this, like. I hope it's celery in there, by the way, because I'm not giving my child candy. We do candy. Oh, okay. But there's some garlic balls. I'll eat the candy myself.

I mean, that's perfect. Oh, here's some peanut aminems. Okay, good. You're into that kind of thing. The peanut, it's good. I'll eat the chocolate around it. I'll give her the peanut, yeah. Okay, here's some peanut. I'm gonna. Okay. Good. You're into that kind of thing. The peanut. It's good. I'll eat the chocolate around it I'll give her the peanut. Okay cool. She is that what was I gonna say is that oh the body that that even if intercourse is uncomfortable sometimes or they're not ready yet that you can still the intimacy is important so even

if you guys are like mutually masturbating or massage right yeah yeah anything you can do to get close. It's so easy also to have a hard day and be like, I'm just going to totally veg out on my phone or I'm going to go write to a TV show or whatever it is. And if you just sort of connect for a moment and who knows where it would lead. But if you use that moment to connect and say, I'm going to set aside this time for us as opposed to like just checking out.

Exactly. You know, then it makes a huge difference, I think. It does. Just have that moment come home, you put down your phone, you're like, you're right, just that moment you make eye contact. Yeah, because there's nothing you want more than like, you know, especially with the kid, I feel like you're like constantly, you have to always pay attention. It's not like, that's part of the work is just like mentally, you have to be like, okay,

I have to make sure she doesn't fall off anything. It's heavy. 24. 7. So like, you just want to like, veg out and if you can sort of like say like, okay, I know I need at least at some point to connect, you know, with her or with your loved one or whatever you're, or maybe in love. Yeah with her or with your loved one or whatever. Or the baby in the love you have.

Yeah, yeah, with my wife. It's like, it's so important to do. Yeah, to check in. It's awesome, important. I'm just giving you advice here. No, but I forgot. I'll take it. I will, because no, I don't think.

Maybe we'll use it on a future season. Oh my god, there's something to say about effort though, too, like putting in an effort and making sure you're there. Right, and prioritizing your relationship, because I think people think to say about effort though, too, like putting in an effort and making sure you're there. Right, and prioritizing your relationship, because I think people think it's just magically work and that you don't have to work on the relationship because we got married and we're in love. So let's focus on everything else,

but it's just as much work as what you're gonna eat, you're nutrition and your health. Yeah, you've got to be there, and you've got to show up. I feel like, yeah. You've got to put in the work, I would comment, if I feel like yeah. You've got to put in the work. I would come in if your next season on Big Mouth, you need a sex consultant. Oh yeah, I'll talk to them.

I would be upset. We would love to talk to you. I'm sure. I would love it. That's not why you're here. What I was going to say though, I was going to say is that also the other, or this is my other point.

For people with kids, I find this a lot that they don't, they other have kids and they're like, my kids are 10 and we've never had a night away just the two of us. Oh yeah. So if you've relatives or someone who can watch and I know you're like, I can't leave the kid when she's one.

Right. But having just one night, like a hotel room away. It makes, it makes a huge difference. I have not done the hotel room thing and we should. I mean, we're hopefully going on vacation soon, but I mean, we've gone on like movie dates, but like getting away from the actual house might be good to you.

Because you start to associate, it's like eating in bed almost. You don't want to like have a sandwich in bed because you're like, that's where I sleep. Right. It's like maybe you don't like, maybe I'm associating my home with like just home life and work and you know what I mean?

Yeah, absolutely. And the tell would read read more like intimacy. It's true. And you can mess up someone else's sheets. Exactly. Right. And someone else is gonna bring you food. Yes.

And just change in the location because one of the big things for people's sex life often is that is mixing things is variety. Like people board of everything. Right. You do so just trying one thing different or changing at the location because yeah your bedroom's probably like diapers

and things and go over. Exactly. Yeah, laundry. Yeah, yeah yeah that's not hot stains yeah from like kids eating blueberries exactly right the whole thing is right so we're gonna have you go to tell that's fun we didn't give you a night out of town but that would be fun I'm sorry I'm sorry where's my car I should get a car in the gift pack exactly We the guy just call in and he said that um, he's like I don't know I bought my wife a really nice car And I told her if I gave this car that she owed me five blow jobs in what two years and I haven't got him He's a transaction

My love is a transaction exactly. I'm like love should not be a transaction. Yeah, so Yeah, so that's what I thought so what else are you doing these days? You're writing I'm like, what I love is a transaction. Exactly, and like love should not be a transaction. Yeah. So, yeah. So that's what I thought. So what else are you doing these days? So you're writing. I'm writing a lot. How is that? Like, do you just, do you write at home?

You go to an office. I usually go to a coffee shop. I find it extremely hard to, I should get like an office or something, but I find it really hard to concentrate at home. There's just so many distractions and I'm like, there's my baby, there's video games, there's like my wife, I'll just have a conversation because I don't want to work, you know? Exactly, no, I gotta get out now.

So I have to get out, yeah. So you guys working on like season three, now a big mouth, are you? Um, we are, I cannot talk about it, but hopefully. What's happening though? I hope so. Is it as big as we think it is?

Like is everybody freaking out about it? Is it worth? I've heard it's a very, it's really super popular. Yeah, and especially among like, you know, it's hard to tell with Netflix because Netflix doesn't really release like rating stuff. Oh, okay. But we can tell from like online, people speaking online about it and like, I know Nick just went to like a show at FSU and the

entire like, there were like thousands of people in the audience, they were all singing like the theme song together, it was like crazy. So I feel like, yeah, I mean people are watching it and we're getting like a lot of great feedback and reviews and stuff which is always. I want everyone's kids to watch. So what do you relate to in there like which which kid were you more like were you more like What's Andrew or Nick? I mean part of me was like try to be funny. So in a way like Nick But also very much Jesse who I find to be like I was my favorite character Yeah, Jesse just because my parents got divorced

at a round her age and the way she sort of acted out because of it is something that I went through and how she sort of slipped into depression and stuff like that. And so that sort of, I really, really connected with her character. Yeah, she's such a good character, right? Oh, thanks, yeah, yeah. You handled the depression scene, that was also in the final episode.

That was, that was, yes, that was. Okay, we talked about the next day because how you had, she had the weight of the world is really depression on her as a kid and how that feels, like I want to get up, but I can't. Yeah, yeah, how alluring it is. Yeah. And how alluring she makes it about like watching,

you know, a friend's marathon and eating like, you know, ice cream and bed and stuff. This is really good. Yeah, it's really good. And oftentimes it could be seductive, you know, as opposed to, you know, this, for example, the shame wizard who makes you just feel bad about yourself like, or you might not want to come with him

or hold his hand on the way there with like the depression kitty it felt like it's someone you sort of were like, is alluring and it looks better than it actually is, you know. At first, you go, oh, Ben and Jerry's, it's great for dinner, I think it makes you feel so good and then you're like, you can't eat it. And that was the divorce parents,

really mixed marriages, the adopted child. Just all the, you could just relate to all, and you guys, I feel like you really covered everything. And it is relatable. And I remember like when I was 15, this is something that my mom, and this kind of pisses me off, but I've had a lot of therapy, so I've told her about this. But I was a 15 year old girl who was screaming at my mom, I hate it, I hate you, I hate you

standing in the door, I was really happy as well. Why did that happen? Were you guys like- My parents were divorced. Okay. Remaried. Was that hard on you? Was it like an amicable?

No. God, yeah, the whole thing, my parents, I tended for my parents' weddings for as 25. So these got married before as my parents' first got divorced, so I was 9. I hope you liked hot dog wienies. If you went to for letting. Oh right, they weren't fun winning. No, they even have hot dogs. I wish that would have been fun.

No, but even as a kid though, the first and then my dad, there was a lot going on, but I'd say, I was nine when my parents got divorced. And it was, yeah, it was just tough. And I remember, but I think what happened when I was 15 was more about just hormones. That's what I love is that my mom was like, you were such a nightmare when you were 15.

I'm thinking, well, you guys got divorced and then you got remarried and I had hormones. And 20 to hormones. It's like a storm of shit that happens. Exactly. I was an angry kid. Like my dad sort of, you know, left at that point and exactly at that age and I was going through,

like, puberty, and I was like, I was angry, you know, I didn't know how to, I didn't know how to direct this anger that I had at my father, and I was with my mom and sort of took it out on her, so our relationship kind of like, was really tough for a while, you know? And it's hard, because if you're not talking

about it with someone, you know, it's just, it's really tough for a while, you know? And it's hard because if you're not talking about it with someone, you know, it's just, it's really tough. Right, and most people don't. And most people don't, yeah. And I thought this with the show, Big Malta was, Plus your parents have their own shit that they're going through, so like, you know. My mom was, yeah, she was trying to get

under with another partner like her, my sub-dad, she was trying to make that work. Right, exactly. So they can't be available to you. Yeah, yeah. But you don't know that, and you don't know anything that's going on. And you don't know to ask for help either.

It's like, it's a thing. And I think that's something we sort of try to focus on with Jesse there is that in order to get out of that sort of depression room that she has to ask her friends for help. Right, for help, for help. It's just so well done. I feel like we still don't teach emotions,

like he's how to regulate emotions and how to share emotions. Like there was a guy we talked to, one of our shows earlier who was saying that he actually wanted to be the guy in his group that started talking about emotions with his guy friends because I don't do it as much. Yeah, no.

There's also that. There's like societal stuff that's just like added upon it. It's just like, it's really hard to just be open. Yeah, we can't, we're gonna be sh- Yeah, so I think, I thought that was really good. So now you're gonna be so equipped to teach that sex ed to your daughter. Yeah, yeah, no, oh my God, I'm learning all the time.

We've also had like people like Peggy or Instinct come talk to us and ship, I don't know if you know Shafia's a loom. Do you know about her? No, Peggy, but not Shafia. She's also like a brilliant health educator, sex ed educator, as she talks about like consent and stuff like that.

And you know, we did an episode about consent. We talked to like young people also all the time about like what they're going through and what it's like to be a teenager now because things have changed with like social media and stuff. And you know, it's always good to speak to people who are like in the know and Deal with it. Yeah, that's really great that you got Peggy Ornstein her book girls was she was a consultant on it right? That blew my mind. Yeah, kids are going through now like in every

It's so it's so much. I'm like this is so much harder than when I went through to right We thought it was hard but it's terrifying It's terrifying and the sex and all the things. Yeah, thank you for your work. Right, and we thought it was hard, but it's terrifying. It's terrifying. It's the pressure and the sex and all the things. Yeah. Thank you for your work. It's brilliant. Oh, appreciate it. We love it.

I think everybody's like, I love to hear that. I love it. It's brilliant. Like it's big mouth and Netflix. I think, you know, take a look of your parent. See if you think it's appropriate for your kid. And if you want to laugh too. If you want to laugh your ass off,

then what's the other brilliant thing? Is it, I thought it was equally great for adults and kids. You could see, I'm like, oh, that was a joke for me. The kids might not get it. Just like all of it. I'm impressed. And if you want to find you, would you want to give out your social and stuff? Yeah, I'm on Atk Gillowserry on Twitter and on Snapchat.

And also, I didn't, there was Atk Gillowserry was not available on Instagram, so I'm at Tall Gillowserry, which isie. Okay. Which is that. Okay, so any of those. Okay, got it. Can we just do the story and Instagram that I tagged you and it's a few more and check that out? That's awesome. I have five questions for you.

They're my cookie questions. Okay. All right. All right. My guest. Okay. Which are biggest turn on? Uh, wow.

People telling me that there are people who are really into me. That is so embarrassing to say. I love it. No embarrassing. My wife is, she'll be laughing. Okay good. We're all in there. So, okay, big steel breaker.

Teal breaker like in a relationship? Yeah, or a few minutes. Yeah, deal breaker in a relationship. Disonesty. Okay. Um, sexy is body part my relationship. Disonesty. Okay. Sexy is body part two. But. Okay.

You're go to first date. Go to first date. Coffee shop. Sorry. You're already there working. Sorry. You're working, yeah. Ladies do like a laptop.

Exactly. Bring your laptop and make it happen. What would be the top of your sex music playlist? Sex mood okay, this is the what for I'm only saying what comes to my mind This is so Because I use it in college and it's Lenny Kravitz. Oh God, but believe is that the song? Yeah Oh, God, kill me I know I know the air out Do you remember that song? Oh God, kill me. Kill me now. Yeah, I know the era. Are you a music person when you are sex?

Yeah, oh yeah, I am. You are, okay. Yeah, I listen to a little bit. Can you give me a suggestion of anything that would not embarrass me? No, I'm trying to think of what we listen to. I like hip-hop. I really do when I'm having sex. Something with a beat.

Yeah, with a beat. Yeah. It's like you're running a 5K. Exactly. I'm just like, you know why I like it though? You know why sex and music is great because we all get so, a lot of people get distracted during sex. And if you're music to listen to,

you're gonna at least you won't be as obsessive- See, I have a tendency to make things, try to make jokes, which is not a good thing. Wait, during sex? During sex, I'm like, I'm like, I have an issue because I'm nervous or I want to, I have to make jokes. That's how I diffuse a situation. That's exactly, which is good in some areas,

but in other areas, it's like don't do that. It can be funny all the time, not here. Or in the conversation. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. I love this. It's so fun. I on the conversation. Okay. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. I love this. This is so great. I love what you guys do, so awesome.

Thank you. Awesome. Thank you. It's great to see you. Thanks for being here. Gilleserie.com and tall Gilleserie on Instagram. Check out Big Mouth and Netflix. You have to.

Please do yourself a favor. All right. We're going to take a quick break and when we come back, we're getting into your calls. We've got Jackie, 24 from Boston and she's seeking some blow job tips and feels abnormal for lack of sexual experience. Jackie, thanks for calling in. You've come to the right place. Hey, what's up?

Hey, having me? Nothing. Of course. So, basically, when I was a freshman in high school, I witnessed, you know, a lot of my guy friends talking about, curledy, hooked up with, and just kind of making fun of maybe like their preferences, something like their bodies, maybe something that weird that happens, so they were having sex. And that made me super insecure. So I actually avoided like all hookups, sex, all of that for a long time. And now I'm 24. I've only had sex

with two different people, total of like three times. Up until a few weeks ago, I had never given a blow job. And those insecurities are definitely the reason why I'm just so sexually inexperienced. And I wanted to see if you had any advice on how I can get out of my comfort zone and how the better sex life. Absolutely. Well, first off, I love that you know that this is because you can kind of pinpoint it to

the people in high school and not wanting to be, you know, that person that they talked about and so now you're like, okay, so let's go to it. So here's the thing, Jackie, first of all, I think we have this notion that everyone should be so experienced and we should already know what we're doing, but you know, you're 24 years old. I got to think that I think in your head, whatever you're thinking, that everyone's way far ahead of you, they're not. And so I just want you to feel better about, feel good about that.

Know that like this is the kind of thing like you learn on the job, penises are different, bolvas are different. So if you kind of just rest into that knowing that like every time you face a penis it's a new penis, it's a new day, they all want different things. I mean, there are some basic things I can talk to you about, blow jobs, but I want you to, I want to work on your anxiety around this first,

just knowing that like if you're present, like the number one tip, my number one tip of blow job is being into it and being enthusiastic, like wanting to be there. So just know that like that, and that's just like I'm into it, I'm licking this, I'm trying, you know, and then asking for, you know, hey, how does this feel this. I'm trying, you know, and then asking for you

No, hey, how does this feel? So you're good. You're so but I am gonna give you more tips But just know that you're starting from a great place Okay, okay, that's what we want to do So we've got that and so here's some important tips about a blood job You want to make sure that it's wet enough, right? So you have enough like saliva I think Loubube is great. Like, have some lube by the bed. You know, have some lube with you.

I love, we love Joe's flavored lube. They make some lube that tastes like watermelon. They have some of the things like chocolate. It's fun or just regular lube. Sometimes our mouth isn't wet enough. So just so you have it nearby, you want it to wet. And just remember this too, like, oh, my mouth hurts. My jaw, your hand, your hand.

For so many blowjabs, your hand is like your best friend. It's really not just about your mouth going all the way down, deep throat, the whole thing you see important. It's really about, so the first thing is you want to make sure it's wet enough. The second thing is that you want to make sure that there's enough friction. So you want, you know, you can start with your hand going up and down and along the shaft and just putting your mouth over the tip. like you know, you can start with your hand like going up and down and along the shaft and just, you know, and putting your mouth over the tip.

The tip is like the, for a lot of guys, the most sensitive part of the penis and also the frenulum, which is the, um, so the penit, the frenulum is, is the spot where, and a lot of guys don't even know this. So I'm letting you in and they don't even know this. That the, where the tip meets the shaft on the other underside of the penis, right? So there's this little spot on the right on the shaft as it attaches. So it's the underside and it's just like, it's kind of like how women have like a G spot, but for men, it's like this really sensitive spot.

So when you're like, licking this penis, you can kind of focus on that area and move your tongue around. So really you want to make sure it's wet. You've got some friction with your hands, you're going up and down and you're like, you know, sucking on the tip, taking your mouth out and using, you know, licking it like it's the most delicious ice-cream cone you've ever had and you're into it. Not like a fake into it, but if you have to fake it first, fine. And then ask for feedback, be like, how is this? And I think it's really hot if you're vulnerable with a guy and you're like, I don't know a lot of experiences, but I want to give you the best blowjob ever. Oh, I really want to turn you on timing what feels good And you're into it You've already like your light years ahead of some woman is pretending that she knows everything when you don't So ask them do you like your balls played with how does this feel?

I think it's okay because believe me guys would rather have a a good connection and get what they want as well So you think you could learn a longer way, but but no apologies No, I'm sorry. No, I don't know. More like, this is new. I'm excited. Let's do this. Tell me what feels good. Oh, OK.

No teeth, too. I like that front of it. Yeah. So. Yeah. Yeah. So it makes it seem less scary. Yeah, good. That's what I want for you, because it's really not scary.

It's just a new thing. You're going to get into it. You're going to learn to love it or like it. And you're going to be great. And also, you probably know a new thing. You're gonna get into it. You're gonna learn to love it or like it and you're gonna be great. So And then also you probably know the teeth thing that was the first thing I learned They're like no teeth. So you kind of just want to make sure that you're like mouth is going over your teeth You probably know that That's like BJ lore

Okay, you got this girl. Thank you so much for calling sex with Emily. Okay. Bye Jackie You're so welcome You got this girl. Thank you so much for calling Sex with Emily. Okay, bye Jackie. You're so welcome. You guys, let's talk about sexual in, I'm putting this in air quotes, in experience. I think we all worry like, oh, I'm not experienced and I should know so much more. And I just think, can we all just get rid of that?

You should be coming from some other place and you should know so much more. Every time you're with a new partner, it's a new experience to connect with that person. And if you're in the moment, you're present and you're paying attention to that person, the reactions, what they're into, you're asking questions, then that's going to be the best kind of sex you can have with that person in that moment paying attention, being putt, not tripping in your head about what you don't know. Okay? So love this guy. Thank you for calling.

Okay, we have John. He's 44 from Virginia and he has a penis injury and it's affecting penetration with his wife. I'm sorry by your injury. I had a a growing injury it's probably been about eight years ago now. Okay. And shortly over time it affected the size of the penis. I've been through a couple of doctors and I don't know, it's been a while since I've done, but it's a scar tissue and stuff like that. The problem is I really wasn't that large to begin with. I was only like three and a half. I've been married now 17 years and really with an issue, you know, what's that important to her, but with the injury and whatever happened from that, and by the way, I'm six foot one, two hundred and fifteen pounds, I'm not overweight at all.

That now the right penis is two and a quarter for me, And it's introverted when I'm soft. And it's probably a problem for my wife, but it's also a problem for me because it's just difficult to have sex like that. I mean, we just think of sliding on each other. And my wife and I have talked. And she loves me. We have a good relationship.

But she even said, it's size really an issue. I tell it's an issue, which is now. OK. And I can tell that it's a, you know, I can tell that it's affected her. She's honest, you know, and she loves me. Right, of course. You know, is it more about the size? or because it sounds like there's two things going

on, you were thinking that the size might be an issue, but it sounds like it's more that it's painful for you as well, and so you can't really, you know, get into it. It's not because I don't have to explain it, but it's not enough to work with. I can't do that. I understand, so it's not even B. Right. It's smaller now, and I can't really... There's a dictionary with her legs all the way back but I mean she says you know when she's really turned on that she can't even tell if I'm in or not and the truth is I can't either.

So I'm having a problem orgasm because it won't stay in. It's not enough to work with and I thought to one spectacular here guy that he just said the risk first reward was just not worth it. There's nothing great out there for Ben like you can't do any kind of penis enhancement in that way or like so okay so let's talk about what we can do here because you know I know that we think of sex as this you, penis vagina sex in her course should just be one way. But what I think is you guys have a great opportunity here to actually really work on expanding your sexual repertoire is so

you know, I feel like for so many women like Size isn't that big of an issue. It's more about getting pleasure And it's not even that you that most women can't even orgasm with large penis, any size penis. They don't orgasm that way. So have you guys played with foreplay, oral sacs? Have you used toys? I mean, you could use a toy on her.

Yeah, yeah we do. And I think that's what brought it to a head bow. Like I said, this has been six years of of this and we've gotten the hollow scrap one you know they just kind of goes over you and I think it's just I mean for me it's not the same but keep it for her it's just you know what I mean yeah it's awesome the part of the toys and here's the hollow filled of it like she will say I just want the real thing I know I don't really understand right yeah and usually I mean most of the time at this point we I reach or guys are rubbing on her because it won't, I mean I'll not explain it, but they just won't.

No, I got it. I totally got it. I better have to deal with it. Right, right. And you know, at a couple of verses, I did happen to see, yeah, Jack Twirkey had confided in a friend, just appeared in the past couple of months, you know, about the issue and, you know, what in good or the other end? Have you guys, yeah, I like that, but. Right, you heard it. Yeah, you read a text that she'd read. She'd said to her friend about this issue.

So have you guys talked about this outside the bedroom? Have you guys really had this conversation? We were like, okay, like this is the situation. We love each other. We're staying together. Like, what else could we do to kind of enhance this? Because I'm thinking like you guys could take a tantric class, like you guys could do central massage, you could get toys that work for you as well. Like I'm carried by your penis right now, like I want you to get like a flashlight or the hot octopus pulse. It's a great, like that is a great toy that could feel amazing to you. You could use something like the Wevibe Sync, which is a wearable toy that thick is an insertion

toy. So if you like the rubbing against her, then this toy will feel great for both of you. So I think rather than focusing on what can't happen now, that thank God for 2018. I mean, there are so many ways you guys can please each other. And to be honest, for most people who aren't having challenges around this, they're pretty bored with their sex life as well when they've been together for 15, 20 years. So when I'm saying this, we can turn this around.

I know you know, and I'm sorry, you know, because this is, no, this is challenging. I'm going to have to donate it hardly, you know, they talk about what's the part. Exactly. So I, you know, I realized you get it. I'm going to have to have a. Exactly. Yeah, so I've realized. You get it. Stormwaters have been here for the past. Yeah, okay, so what I think just, yeah, kind of reframe this.

And be like, baby, maybe you guys have a night out, a date night, and you're talking, and you're like, let's just go to a sex toy store near you, go online, like figure out some other fun things that you guys could do together, like fantasy lists. Playing with different sensations, things that you've never tried that might be totally outside of what you thought because I think you can bring back some really cool hot sex that you never dreamed of before. Right. Now what about like, yeah, I'm really surprising.

I've never really been all that self-conscious. I'm the kind of person that I have, but I have I am who I am. But, you know, it's kind of weighed on me and I really haven't talked to anybody because, you know, did you really want to go to your local town, your local doctor, your local therapist? Yeah, you actually do. John, you actually do. I think you should, John, to be honest, I don't know what your injury was about, it was six years ago. I really think that this actually might be really great John, to be honest. I don't know what your injury was about. It was six years ago. I really think that this actually might be really great for you to have therapy.

Because guys do not want to talk about their penises with anybody. So first, I want to tell you that I'm honored and thank you so much for calling me and for trusting me. Because I think it's a really big first step. And I feel for you, like this is not an easy situation at your penis like forgot you know I get it and so I think getting into it like if you

can find a sex therapist near you that would be amazing or somebody you know it's okay to look around and find someone you feel comfortable with preferably a man would be great and I think that you know or woman I'm open but I feel like you do actually talk to someone and get some more information so I think there's a lot there's a lot more than your wife's pleasure. How she feels. Yeah, maybe you guys can go to cut. It's kind of a turn off where it's inverted, you know, like nothing there. I mean she's going to be good at it. I know she loves me, but it does. No, great. I think you guys can get past this because she's being honest. You're being honest about it. And I think a couple's

therapy session or individual couples anything, I think you need it, it'll be great for you, John, okay? I would love that for you guys. I really, that's the next step here, because you're trying everything. You guys love each other, you want to make it work. I wouldn't get tripped up on what you read and what she saw, she loves you,

and I think you guys need to try something different, okay, John? So look at your insurance plan, get, go see someone, and you're gonna be so happy that you did. Talk about your penis, talk about your situation. Okay, thanks John. Thank you so much. So, great day, thanks for calling. Oh, John, John, John, okay, you guys,

here's the thing, a lot of guys do not, I mean, John's situation is different than a lot of guys, but I feel like if you're at your doctor and you're going for a checkup, or there's something wrong, he just said it, well, no one wants to talk about their penis exactly, and that's exactly why you need to. And we going to need to go to their doctors and talk to them about any kind of pain or any challenges you're having around sex. I think it's so important

you guys. I mean I love that you're calling me but if you're having any pain or suffering, talk to your doctor. So thank you John for that call. Okay we're talking to Nicole. She's 24 in Mexico and she wants to know how to make face-time calls more sexy when you're in a long distance relationship Hey Nicole Hello, hello Well, I got to tell you there's good news right now because there's been several studies that have come out that I've said It's the best time to be in a long-distance relationship that they actually work out more frequently than we think and with today's technology There's a lot more success.

So I just want to tell you that the odds are in your favor here before we get started. OK, cool. So tell me what's going on. Tell me your question. OK, so I've been in a relationship with this guy for we're going on close to six months. We haven't met in person yet.

We're going to in December, but every time we are on FaceTime and things get a little steamy or sexual, I feel like everything is focused on me, which I'm like, okay, I really appreciate that you're trying to get me off, but like, I want him to have fun too. And I am not so good at getting that started. And I don't know how to approach the topic of, hey, I feel like you're not really participating. You should.

OK, yeah. No, I understand. But let me back up for a second. So you have never met him in real life yet. Not yet. OK, so it's all met him in real life yet. Not yet. Okay, so it's all been FaceTime calls mostly. Yes. Okay. How did you guys meet?

We met off of social media. Like we ended up following each other through weird circumstances and then started talking. Okay. Well, I see. I think what might be really good is that, what might be cool for you guys before you actually meet him to really get to know each other and build intimacy without the sex stuff right now. So you could have a FaceTime date

where you both, like you're having dinner, eat you're having glass of wine, so it's like you're actually having a real date, but you're sitting, you know, you're staring into your computer screens at each other, your phone. And then you could have some conversations where you're really learning things about each other.

And you could play a game. So there's some really fun sex games, or there's some questions you could ask. Like, you know, never have I ever, there was this, I wanted to find this article that just came out about questions that you could ask your partner that could really Lead to more and not just like how is your day because I'm sure you guys cover that stuff But ways that you guys could you could kind of get more information and learn and connect in an intimate level like the emotional intimacy Before the sex to find out more about each other Because there's been a lot of build-up here at seams and I would just love to sprinkle in some more of emotional connection And then that might make it a lot easier for you to kind of maybe want to give back.

So that's just my suggestion. But I can't answer your question as well. So I understand also that you've never, does that make sense to you or does that something that you're interested in? Oh, yeah, it does. It totally does. Okay. So right now, you're saying like, how do I I get him to like what would you like him to do?

Like what would you like the result to be? You want him to get naked, you want him to tell him what to do. I mean I feel like I'm not good at dirty talk. Right. Okay. I would like to get better at that and like get him more involved and like see more of him. Right. Right.

Like get naked. like drop your pants. Yeah, okay. And he's doing that with you right now. So he's like, hey, like you're hot, you know, I can't wait to touch you, take your pants off, like is that, is that how it's going down right now? When you talk to him?

Pretty much. Okay. And so you, I mean, because Dirty Talk is challenging for a lot of people, right? And then you don't met him yet and you're staring to his eyes. So you don't even him yet and you're staring to his eyes. So you don't even like, you can't even bury your head in his chest or your like looking at him on the screen.

So that is another edge. So I mean, here's the thing about dirty talk. Dirty talk 101, because it's a comfortable for a lot of people. And it's the kind of thing where you could watch porn, you could read a ride, go, but you really have to find your own voice with dirty talk. But the good news is, my best advice for dirty talk is either you describe something that has happened in the past is that you would like to happen in the future

or something that you want to happen in the moment. So I think just saying, I'd be so hot, you're so hot, I love looking at your abs or whatever he's showing you, like take your pants off. I'd love to see your cock or whatever, you feel comfortable saying, like take your pants off, you know, I'd love to see, you know, your cock or whatever you feel comfortable saying, like whatever is actually true for you, you know, and then, but I don't know, like on FaceTime, you met him yet in the escalation of that, I think it's just,

it might be awkward, just know that it might be, it's not gonna feel great, like I don't think you're gonna do it the first time, be like, I'm a natural, the first sentence that comes out of your mouth, but it's about developing it on your own, you could also try in the shower, and be like, you've talked to them enough, you'd be like, okay, I know how this goes down,

he's sitting in his room, I can see him from the way stop, and then you could just think about what would I want to say to him in the moment? Like what are you feeling, you know, that you'd like to see, and then put words around that? And with dirty talk, another thing is, talk a little slower, you know, a little bit of a deeper voice, but not like a heeey baby.

But you know, your own deeper, slower voice. And then just... Okay, see how he reacts to that. But I don't want you to do it just because you think that he wants. I mean, if you really want to do it for him and you want to see him naked, that's awesome. But you said you want to give back to him, so make sure that it's something that you actually... You want for yourself. And that's just because you think that that's what he wants.

You know what I'm saying? Of course. Okay, cool. Well, thank you so much. You're so welcome Nicole. Good luck with this and I hope it all works out when you guys meet each other in person. All right, okay, thanks.

Thanks for coming. Thanks for coming. So when I first heard this, I thought, oh God, you guys haven't met yet because I've, there's my thing. If you meet someone online or wherever, a lot of people just have this, you know, they get into these whole relationships and we idealize people and we just assume that we create whole relationships, we've never met someone in person.

We haven't like touched them and smelled them and we don't know about that fair moment and all those things. So meet someone as soon as possible before you stretch out the relationship. So that's what I wanted for Nicole here, but kind of get the emotional intimacy and the physical intimacy. And yeah, that's what I think Nicole. Let's know how it goes. We have Lydia. She's 28 from Seattle and she feels a lack of sexual connection with her partner, not getting a lot of oral and there's a lot going on here. Hey, Lydia, thanks for calling in. Hi, thank you so much, much Emily for talking with me today.

Of course, tell me what's going on. Alright, so my boyfriend and I are very in love and couldn't be in a more compassionate and playful relationship. We're both very open and honest with one another. Nothing is too taboo to discuss, especially sex. But unfortunately, the sexual aspect of our relationship has gone pretty stale. And the reason is pretty delicate, and the soul-crushing phrase, is it him kind of comes

to mind? Oh, okay. Yes. His penis is definitely on the smaller side, but I'm not trying to stir up whether or not size matters, because I've always been a believer in it's not how deep you fish It's how you wiggle your worm. Yes, I haven't heard that one. I've always heard not the size of the ship It's the most in the ocean, but okay, I got you all right That's a great one, okay

Although we have a whole like drawer full of sex toys and things to spice sex up even our foreplay has kind of become robotic. I find I'm only getting myself off with vibrators and we've been together for almost two years and he's never given me an orally stimulated orgasm. He goes down on me and vice versa but it's been almost two years with me coaching him and guiding him and never really achieving the goal. And I've always been more than happy to give pleasure, but parts of fun lies in your partner giving you, you know, mind blowing orgasms. Exactly. When I'm only giving them to myself, it's like

parts of fun is gone and I'm stuck with it. Absolutely, no, I totally get it. Yeah. So I'm wondering, okay, so, so wait, I'm trying to understand first of all, you're saying is the size of the penis We don't really think is the issue. It's more about you really want some more oral satisfaction. I Think just him giving me orgasms period would be Got it. You're like I'm not picking here. However, I got the orgasms. I want it So you said you've tried to explain to him though, right? You've explained how you want oral or you've talked about it, right? Like how you'd like them to go down to. Yeah, you know, I'll go into depth and be very thorough and explain what my needs are and what feel good and what doesn't.

Have you guys tried to have a mutual masturbation? Yeah, we've done that before. mutual masturbation. Yeah, we've done that before. Plenty of times. Okay. Have you had orgasms through oral sex before with previous partners? Oh yeah. Wow. Okay. So it's been two years. What do you think it is? That's a good question. I've asked and I think oftentimes when I ask, he kind of gets kind of self-conscious and he gets down on himself and he thinks he lacks the ability, even though I totally think he can do it. Right, you can. You can do it. So, okay.

I think I can. Okay, I'm just wondering, like, it's just like, so, okay, are you guys talking about this outside the bedroom or are you just giving him, detail, are you giving him instructions in the moment? Yeah, more so in the moment. Yeah, so it might be that he's kind of in the moment going, oh, he can't really settle into it because he's waiting for the next marching orders, right?

Like, to the love, to the love, to the right. So I think we might have to like, kind of slow this whole thing down with him and maybe it's like the way that you talk about it because it sounds like he really wants to please you and you guys are in a very loving relationship. So I think just kind of mixing it up and maybe talking about it like outside of it

when you guys are like, you know, let's just talk about this oral thing, baby. I super attracted to you and let's just try to, you know, talk about this oral thing, baby. I super attracted to you. And let's just try to talk about this together. You could even do your own, you could even master it. He's just watching. So it's not even like a mutual situation. He's just like really watching what you do. But also just talking and saying,

well, how would he best like to learn, like asking him a little bit more questions because clearly it's not working in the moment. And you could tell him like like I have the utmost confidence you I know it's going to happen maybe it's the way I'm explaining it and you guys could kind of like yeah take it outside of the bedroom and then you know talk about it and explain that you're your pleasure and how you like so what do you think if other people have done that before is it does it feel to you in the moment that he's nervous and you're

like move your tongue this way and you're like left and he's going right? I definitely sense he's nervous like in the moment when I do that, but before I do that, no. Okay, so I think it's more about, maybe we take this off the table for a little bit. I don't know how long this has been. I don't know, you're like, it's already been off the table, but maybe there has to be some more connecting in other ways. Like maybe you also, besides the oral, some intimate connections where you guys are like, just, you know, a missential massage,

and you're like connecting in those kind of ways, and then he can kind of feel like he's given you pleasure in other ways, and then going into the oral. It's funny that because, I'm actually a massage therapist. Oh, I love it. I don't want to use the word decency ties, but. So you don't want a massage.

I'm just trying to think of what would be something. Oh my god, it's so funny. I really want to, I should just marry him, so it's my favorite thing ever getting a massage. But I think that it's more about him, you know, if you're touching yourself and then like he can kind of like, you're getting yourself turned on and it's not about him. So then he's let him know that it's cool. You love him like an acasual.

Like, let's just try it again, but I don't want you to be stressed out. I wait my whole life for you to for us to figure this out. To take the pressure off of him and then he's kind of watching how you touch yourself. So either using a toy or your fingers and then he's kind of following along. So because I'm not sure it might be in that moment thing, you're right. Like I get nervous in the moment if someone's trying to teach me something. So use a toy. It's too, it's just my thing.

I think, oh no, am I going to do this right? So it's like I think it's the way we all learn differently. So maybe he's visual without the pressure of it having happened because you're pleasing yourself in that moment and he's watching and you get asked questions. You guys can make it fun. He could use a toy, you know? He could use a toy on you.

You could use a toy and then you go down and them after rather than it being mutual. Right. Yeah, I think. How about that? How about you try some of that? That sounds good to me. Yeah, lots of Lou, but I mean, yeah, yeah.

So that's what I suggest. I think that a lot of times we just keep, you're saying it the same way and you're explaining the same way to him, but just kind of switching the way you communicate might be the thing that works. So let me know how it goes. Okay, thank you very much, Emily. Thank you so much, Lydia, for calling. I appreciate it. Okay, you guys, so you know, this is a really good point. I love this call because think about it.

We often think that we've told our partner so many times and they're just not hearing us, even just the art of the communication and saying something different or a different time. Some people are visual learners. Some people need to hear things 10 times. So just kind of, you know, rather than saying I'm getting them overhead with it,

think of how you can change the way you're delivering the message. And then there'll be more orgasms for all. We've Chad, he's 30 in Utah, and he wants to know how to bring up sex in a positive way. Hey Chad, thanks for calling. Hey, thank you for taking me. Of course, I am here for you. Tell me what's going on. Yeah, so I actually have a really great relationship with my wife talking about sex. It's actually been really fun and kind of led me to your guys' podcast and conversations just with her. But as I've listened to you guys, I actually want to have more of these conversations

outside of just my wife, maybe friends or other couples. And so I wondered if you know had any experience and advice on how to get that with other people. I love this question. I'd like you to say that guys don't talk about it enough to each other either. They don't, they don't. God, Chad, this is like a dream question

because this is gonna set example for so many people because we don't talk about it enough. And I always say, be that friend that brings it up. So now you're saying, how do I bring it up? So do you picture yourself like hanging out with your guy friends? Yeah, even there, like, because I think in past experience, guys, you know, especially at a late high school early college age, it's more about, you know, the score. Yeah, exactly. Who I was with now, or I saw her nude picture. Yeah, exactly.

Or I banged her, I didn't banger. I want a banger friend and a story. Yeah. So, okay Chad, this is great. So I think when you're talking to your guy friends, you could just say to him, like, you could even blame it on me. My wife and I, we've been listening to podcasts,

and I realize, I talked to my wife, but I'd love to hear, like, let's talk about your sex life or how often do you sex or what's your sex life? This is what we've been doing and it's helped us so much. How about this? I've been with my wife and you know, we actually talk about sex in this way that's actually really helpful. I said, I'm wondering, do you and your wife talk about sex?

So actually you can start to talk about sex asking them if they talk about sex with their partners. And then from there, you can go, well, what kind of thing is you talk about and you can start to talk about sex asking them if they talk about sex with their partners. And then from there, you'd be like, yeah, what kind of things you talk about and you could even share. So that's how it starts. And seeing if they're comfortable with that, just saying, do you guys talk about it? And then your friend might just say, yeah, we do. Let them know. I think being authentic and being honest here and saying, you know what? I realize that it's really helped my wife and I, but I don't really talk to my friends about it. Would you, would you feel comfortable talking about it? Like, about your experiences or, you know, what kind of information would you like to,

to find out, Chad, like how do you see the conversation going down? Oh, like I mean, I'm interested in what you guys are talking about, you know, with like masturbation habits. Right. And even what they do to their spouse that, or that they wouldn't wish, they wish their their spouse would be into or if they've talked about those type of things with their spouse and Things that are off limits in the bedroom or yeah, I think in the fetishes that I hear you guys talk Exactly. I think that's great And I think you know not everyone's gonna be down with it

But I've found in my experience that most people are when they hear what I do for a living They're like oh my god. we don't talk about it enough. So I think you're gonna have a lot of luck in this department and you just wanna start off, like so what's your kink? But just like, hey, I gotta ask you something. I know we've never talked about this before, but I'm asking for a reason.

I have found that talking about sex with my wife has really changed the landscape of a relationship, but I wanna know, do you've experienced with that? I think you'd be, you know, I always wonder, like what do other people talk about? And then you're going to see if they open up. And I think you'll just become a natural conversation. And what I love about this is that I think it actually really enhanced the intimacy you have with your guy friends.

You know, I think that guys should talk about this more. So I love it. How does that sound? I like it. Yeah. That sounds great. Good. And just, you know just keep asking questions. See if they're comfortable.

Might take them a second. And also, you could also let them know, like, dude, I'm not asking for, I'm safe. I'm not going to be talking to anyone else about this. I just think that I'm not going to be sharing it. I mean, hopefully, make that pack. A lot of my friends talk to me about their husbands or their wives.

I don't share it. It's a safe place. You can let them know. I'm really just, this isn't about gossip I just I actually think we could learn from each other and I think that that would just be an incredibly brave Authentic moment and could change your relationship, so yeah I like it. Thank you. Okay. I like it to Chad. Let me know how it goes I love that okay, no problem. Thanks Chad. How great. Hey. Thanks for calling sex with Emily

I love this I love people listen to the show and then they call and they're like I want to try that thing that you suggested. You guys, I think that we all learn from each other. And so to have a man calling up and saying I really would love to hear what's going on in my friend's sex life, not for to lesion, but just to learn is amazing. So that made my day. Thank you Chad. Okay guys, hope you enjoyed this show. Thanks to my amazing team Ken, Sarah, producer, Jamie, and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com.