Sex With Emily - Blowjob Embargos & The Year of Pegging

Episode Date: June 24, 2015

On this episode of Sex With Emily we’re talking about the wonders of pegging, oral sex, adventurous sex and so much more! Emily and Anderson cover some trending Sex in the News topics including sex dolls that can talk dirty and the recent rise of the strap-on -- yes, you read that right.  Are you interested in jumping on the pegging train, but don’t know how to get your partner on board? Is your long-time lover not into trying new things between the sheets? Emily answers a handful of listener emails, and gives tips to help bridge the communication gap and get what you want in the bedroom. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Today's show is all about pegging sexual confidence. What do you do if you're sexually bored with your partner? Oral sex tips and oh, so much more. Thanks for listening. Let me ask you a question. Are you getting enough? I bet you'd love a little bit more, right?

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So you can start to like, figure out what you both like and spice up your sex life. It is a good time there at Adam and Eve.com. So, all you gotta do, enter code Emily at checkout and you get all 10 free gifts. AdamEave.com, use code Emily at checkout and you get 10 free gifts. Have a good time shopping. Thanks for listening. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.

Betrubized, they call them a lie-gone day. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sexage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks?

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so dumb. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwiththeemlee.com.

Easily subscribe to our podcast with you two a week. You'll like them. You'll get them right away. Subscribe to our mailing list and follow me. Follow me. It's a good time. Facebook and Twitter. It's at sector-thamely and also an Instagram is at sector-thamely. Well, it's really facebook.com slash sector-thamely. I'm here with Anderson. What up, and how you doing? I'm here with Andersen to meet you. What up, how you doing? I'm well, how are you? I'm good. I haven't seen you since my birthday party. I love that you came. It was a good time.

I love that restaurant that you had it at. Everyone there was so nice. It was a good party. I met your mom. You met my mom, did you? My brother? I met your brother before. I went up and I spilled a drink on him in purpose.

You did the other night you did? Good, just because he's an asshole. He was an asshole. When he was on your show, he was an asshole. He was an asshole when he was on your show. He was an asshole. You know, it's so funny is that my friends there were like, he's kind of that nice to you. I mean, we love each other, but he's like that.

He's just kind of like no BS, like cut to the chase. You've told me that already. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, I don't know. I spilled a drink on his penny loafers on purpose. I'm just gonna tell you that. Hopefully he never hears this. He didn't say he has a listen to my show.

He doesn't really care. So yeah. He strikes me as someone who, have any listened to the episode he was on. Probably not. Oh, maybe he did for the first 10 minutes and then he left. Yeah.

No, he's a good guy, you know, which is, I think the point is when men get married and then they've, he has three girls. He's got a girlfriend, he's divorced now. And it's like a lot of women. That's a lot of people. A lot of bitches. Yeah, 99 problems and all bitches.

I mean, seriously, how can a man deal with that? And we, we, you know, we do anything for each other but life goes on and I wanted to thank you for the flowers. Uh-huh. And I wanted to tell you that you're hit because Anna David who I had the party with. That's Larry David's daughter right? No no she I did an amazing podcast with her a few weeks ago about online dating if you guys want to check it out it's been wildly popular. My buddy my chrono was on her podcast as well. Oh, yeah. Cool. She's never invited me to... It's not sober people.

Oh, no, I'm drunk. I probably show up drunk. Is she sober? Yeah. She seemed loaded that night. Maybe it's because I was drunk. Oh my god. Exactly dude.

You quite drunk before. I was drunk all day that day. I love it. I love when you're drunk all day. Right now I'm sober. No, today I'm okay. Okay good. But I was gonna tell you that she called me and she's like, oh my god, everyone was like, who's that hot guy?

What me? And they were talking about you. Yeah, that's nice. And I know the key is hot. You're like taking care of yourself, losing weight. Yeah, that's nice, yeah. Dude, I'm a chick. I love little affirmations like that.

Oh, they thought you're hot, thank you. I feel like it's full of finance. I used to be a method and I actually have my picture taken for living when I was younger, but it's been a long time. You were a meth head? Well, I did a lot of speed and stuff and I had a ripped, ripped core. I had like the six, actually I had eight pack at one point. I didn't eat.

I looked like Mark and Mark, both Kurt Cobain hair is pretty sweet. Right. And I never ate, but I couldn't look at anyone in the eye and I was a horrible human being. Yeah. Girl style, you're hot. Yeah. Well now you were very, just yourself, like confident and like, I'm hot. I got a keg and I can talk. So I wanted to thank you for that and speaking of my family being in town

I had a So I decided I might have talked about this in a previous show But it's weird because you know I three nieces 15 13 Oh, I met them too. Yeah, how cute I put my foot right in my mouth. Oh, no, what'd you do? I'm like that's the one that you were talking to about the stuff, right? And she's like, what stuff? And I'm like, never mind. Dude. Remember? No, I don't know where you're saying that. It was my birthday. You were in Bivin. Was it the one who I talked about the masturbation one? Yeah. Sorry to talk about this in the show how I said to her. Yeah. I did. I'm like, Emily was talking about you on her show today. And

her eyes got wide. Am I mouth just kind of? Wait, are you sure it wasn't the one that saw my books? It was the one that I said listen, masturbations about your body. Okay, so I already talked about that. So that was really big. I told her that the reason why I started my show is because I didn't get a lot of information about sex and I didn't understand masturbation and she heard, she's like, okay, Aunt Am, I tell you this.

And then, and then I was like, just listen, if you have any questions and just so you know, I know you're starting to like kiss boys now and stuff like that. And just remember, it's not about their pleasure, only it's about yours. End of story. That's where an appetizer is.

You're like a woman in a Woody Allen movie, where like, oh, there's my aunt, she always talks about, it's my sex aunt, she always talks about sex. Exactly. Oh, God, here she comes. I am like a Woody Allen. I love Woody Allen.

Sorry, not with all the stuff he did with his daughter and oh I don't think there's any people out there that only love that party would I love Woody Allen's relationship with his under-age stepdaughter But his movies are shit. No, what I'm saying is sometimes I quote him or I have recently on Twitter Not a good idea. I'm gonna do it like a child blaster. Oh stop it everyone settled down And then this week I also did a Huffington post live segment There was like four of us instead of blog about Huffing like gasoline and stuff. No, having a post. It was about pegging Oh, the Huffington post that big thing that people read smart people read it exactly. No, this was actually video people smart people watch it You have a video of pegging no no, it was four of us who were experts in like male

stimulation we actually had a woman from flashlight on Amanda, Reed, who's about pegging in this other guy from a narrowest, that makes male prostate masturbation toys. And it was so funny because it was this panel and the guy at Huffington Post, he's pretty conservative, has a British accent. But afterwards, he emailed me, he's like, you guys were so awesome.

I want you back on the phone, like the phones, like they're getting tons of emails and tweets, people loved it, and then he emailed me like you guys were so awesome. I want you back on like the phone like the phones like They're getting tons of emails and tweets people loved it and then he wanted me to send them a box of last Like, does he appreciate you saying this was this off the record? No, I mean I should sure It was he want to get peg what I love is that I Pegging well you please peg me in the bum. He didn't ask me that no He didn't say don't you you want. But he was fascinated that it's the kind of topic that people don't talk about that much, but it's like the year of pegging,

which is actually my first sex in the new story. But it's funny. I've got the Chinese calendar. It's like last year, it was the year of the rat, this year is the year of the peg. I'll tell you what, when I started, I was like, annuals the new blow job. And now I think squirting's the new anal,

but I also think peging's the new anal. Of course. No, it's true. Like in 10 years, that's people like, what's different now? I'm like, well, when I say, no, I mean, I have more eloquent answers than that, but it's true that a lot of men are,

because we see it so much in pop culture, I'll get to the article in a minute about that. But I have to- We see a lot of pagan in pop culture. Yeah, I'm gonna get to that in a minute. It's becoming a whole thing. Like men think, oh, I don't want that. It makes me gay, it might hurt. It might,

you know, I don't, I, not nothing. My butt, that's for things going out, not going in. But there's a lot of men, they call it the meal G spot. They have amazing orgasms. Stop it. Why? Stop it. You don't want anything in your ass. It's not a meal G spot. I tell you that much. Just stop it. It's the peace spot. Let's just not give girls the wrong idea. No, I'm not saying. It can be pleasurable for some dudes. All I'm saying is there's more of a curiosity now

and more of a public acceptance. And so even if it's a public curiosity, the interesting part is that not like Huffington Post was getting angry emails from little ladies and like witch talk Kansas, why are you doing this? It was like, wow, this was so fascinating. And so people aren't like freaked out by it.

That's what I'm saying. But aren't like freaked out by it. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. But speaking of being freaked out by things, I am teaching a oral sex workshop tonight at Hustler Hollywood. Are you freaking out, be freaked out? No, no, no, that I'm not freaked out about. It's called Going Down with Sex or Family.

And there's, it's I'm teaching about men and women. And I don't know, when you guys listen to this, it's June 23rd, hustler, Hollywood stores, in Hollywood, going down with Emily. And, you know, here's a thing, I'm doing once a month now, these workshops. So even if you don't live in LA, you can't come tonight. We'll be doing it every month.

Think you can plan ahead, tell your friends who live in LA, your family. What are you gonna be practicing on? What are you gonna be demonstrating on? Okay, so this is a thing. I personally don't feel comfortable like sticking a dildo on my mouth and showing how to give a blood job.

It's just the way you draw the line. It's hard to teach while it's in your mouth. Oh, sure, we should go down. All right. That'd be hard. Maybe like a sexual ventral oquist. Exactly. So I can't do it.

And I'm not comfortable to be honest teaching that way. And so one of my interns is going to be sucking on the dildo. Do I know her? Lori, I don't think you've met her yet. She's your partner. She's awesome. She was. Yeah. And then I'm trying to've met her yet. She's awesome. She was.

Yeah. And then I'm trying to find a man. I'm going to bring in a peach. What? Oh, okay. And I'm going to bring in a banana. All right. So then the man's going to lick the peach.

Yep. Suck the peach, lick the peach. The whole thing. I've got amazing tips. Because I feel like people are so confused about blow jobs often. Like even though it was so funny because I was preparing for the workshop this weekend And my best friend from San Francisco Funny now flees you message. She's like I'm so insecure right now

She's getting new guys. She's like I haven't been able to make them come yet through blow job She's like what do I do and I'm like call her back? I'm like funny. You should ask. I've been prepping seven hours And I like gave her like my three best tips and she's like oh my god. Thank you. I love when I can help my friends Yeah, yeah, so back with results. I love when I can help my friends. Yeah. Yeah. She's coming back with results. She has not called me back yet, which means maybe she's still blowing on. Still going.

But it was really funny, so, but the weird part is, okay, so my mom always jokes with me about the oral sex thing. She's like, er, my job. Right. I picked that up from your brother. I used to be tag-map a lot of jobs in your 60s. She said this two months ago. So funny enough, my friend Emily, same name, good friend,

and we were up to dinner the other night, and she RSVPed yes to the oral sex workshop on the Facebook page. So it'll be that tonight, okay. And her mom, email's her, rubbing dinner in the middle dinner Saturday night and says, M, I noticed on your Facebook page that you responded yes to an oral sex workshop.

Is this really something that you want everyone to see? Sad face face mom. Because her mom is probably a little disappointed, hoping that everyone knows that she gives great blow jobs. Right, no, that's exactly her concern. Right. So anyway, it's a funny thing. Because I love that, yeah, we're like sad.

And then she posted it on her Instagram, it was hilarious. But no, I love what I do. The thing is, I'm never tired of it. 10 years, I'm like, I love it. I'm excited to teach people. And the last workshops have been amazing. And we go around shopping after. So anyone, check it out.

One of these days, I gotta get to one of these. Come, they're fun. I just, I work when you do. I know, it's a bummer. It's difficult. But you guys, if you still want, just show up to, honestly, but Timelessness just show up, you'll be fine.

It's at House of Hollywood, 7 p.m. doors open, give away champagne more. It'll be awesome. What are you doing Thursday night? Thursday night, I'm going to, I'm so proud of you. You get a call? Dude, I bought eight tickets. That is amazing. I'm your number one fan. I'm so proud of Anderson because he made a short film that actually

got into a film festival and a couple of film festivals. And as a former documentary filmmaker, I know how hard it is and this is a major one. Plus, this one's like a,'s a via a little piece of trash I mean, it's it's a it's well-made But it's about a guy who dresses up like a pedophile to keep people away from him You know, it's it's a bit of fantasy. I was riveted after one minute and I've 80 D. I'd already be texting I just showed you the one-minute trailer. Yeah, the opening scene But it was something that came into my head a few years ago and I made a short out of it spent a lot of time on it

And a couple bucks on it and it turned out I had a great lead actor the woman plays as mom she's great. So it turned out really well and I'm pleased out of the five festivals that I only put it out there to five festivals because yeah everyone's got their insecurities plus it costs money every time you got I know but I got a two of the five so I'm pretty happy that is major what can people could go yeah I think I still tickets available if you want to come see em and y'all be there my brother there with my whole team I'll be there. I'll be there. How it's called Holly shorts. I know we talked about it last week But it's been a while Holly shorts got a Holly shorts calm. Maybe backslash tickets. It's the short program John Hollywood Boulevard of the Chinese theater at the Chinese theater June 25th Thursday night June 25th

Chinese theater I'm gonna take the train there, because the subway goes, the underground goes, and drops you off right there. No way. So I'm gonna park in North Hollywood. It's a train. You could park in my office too. But there's nine films total showing Eric Roberts' and one of them, there's some legit films.

I'm so hard of you. For sure, I don't know if mine really belongs. I'm really, really hard on that thing. In there. Dude, you don't even know. I don't know, yeah, I don't know. That's just that little insecurity in your head, but your film freaking belongs,

because it got accepted. It it could be a good time It's gonna be a good day. I probably understand you are kicking ass taking names. Thanks kids. Okay. You're awesome I'm gonna start with your favorite part right now. Oh, sex in the news. Yeah, but I don't know if it's your favorite topic Oh, no 2005 the year of the strap on of course I epegging if 2004 marked the year of the female focused sex on TV 2015 is definitely taking a different direction. Their cell and emphasis on women and their pleasure only now it includes not just who

and how they're banging, but with what? Welcome to the year of the strap on. It's not that 2015 is the first time there have been strap on TV pegging, as it's also called, has appeared here and there, though generally as a reference or an illusion, they don't less frequently do they show it on camera. But compared to sex scenes of your strap, strap-on scenes of 2015 are notable for their desensualization. Desensualization?

That's tough. No, it's desensualizing. Desensualizing. Desensualizing. Desensualizing. Desensualizing. Desensualizing. Desensualizing. Yeah. Desensual up. Decentralizing. Decent, satishalize. So it's it's it's it's It's not yeah, it's getting you not to be a sensitive. Well, does it slide examples?

Of yes, of one of the of the ways people have sex with one another. Just in the past six months, only the strap on his stolen scenes in the Comedy Central Show broad city, as well as two netflix originals oranges the new black and cents eight. Orange is the new black I I take exception to that why because they didn't do it They didn't know they drug them up and they spread the cheeks and they were getting ready to do the broomstick But they post out right but okay, but they're still showing the act I'm just saying and that wasn't for pleasure. That was for revenge Okay, I understand I'm just saying it was on TV showing the act So they had their previous you know TV deb TV debuts before, but the difference is

Anderson is that this is these are sex positive shows and they're showing like funnier Frank ways and About it and they're not showing that's like deviant or bad or long. It's still getting that just other night on love line Somebody brought up pegging and dr. Drew said what's it? I'm, Drew, I'm about to peg you. How do you not know that? He didn't know Paggin. Yeah, he didn't know, but that's true. You know what I mean? Okay. Drew's heads are in the clouds.

I know, I understand that. I totally understand that, and I understand a lot of it. So this isn't for everybody. I'm just saying that it could feel good to some men, and some men want to explore it, and why not? Start with a butt plug, start with a finger. We'll get into that minute. Also, the other thing was,

inside Amy Schumer has a climatic switchable moment of 1955's, 1957's 12 angry men reimagined with wagley dig dildos. Did you see that episode? No. So it's that way. I'm not on the Amy Schumer train. I'm sure I will be once I get there.

I once as he train wrecked, but I have not seen anything this woman does. I mean, neither would I want to. Everyone seems to know. They're obsessed with her. Yeah. So, um, she's got a good PR for her. At least.

You think? Or maybe she's super talented. I know. She's like on my list of people. She was nowhere I'd never heard of her. And then like in one day I heard of her like 15 times. That's not a tipping point. Yeah.

It's an Amy Schumer tipping point. She's really hot right now in Hollywood. Yeah. She's really hot. She's the thing. She's the effing. Forging hot. If LA.

Okay. She looks pagan apparently. I don't know, but this is what progress looks like, normalizing and contextualizing what for lots of people, especially women, people is a pretty ordinary form of sexual expression. That's all, that's all I'm gonna say about pegging for now until there is a question about. Have you ever pegged or did?

No, you know, I have it. I have it. I have it. I gotta be honest, it's not on my bucket list per se. However, if I think it would be something good for me to try, you can use a strap on, you can use. Just, I just say start with a butt plug of your fingers, but to be honest, I haven't.

I haven't had a guy who's like, I really want you to peg me. So I'm not like, hey, I've got, because I have. I'm trying not to judge here, but I think that's probably a good thing. Yeah, I'm fine with it. I think I can see a lot of ladies wanted to try too, for like to see what the powerful dominant side of sex could feel like,

because unless, I mean, I'm sure those positions and stuff, you guys can get on top and feel like you're in control, but for the most part, the way sex is set up, I mean, the guy is usually the one who's in shock, you know? In control, actually, so some women are like, I want to dominate, I want to experience, and then you know what the thing is, we're always talking about how to expand sexual horizons

like with women women like have multiple Orgasms or use these toys or but with men It's kind of like game of a job this way or that way, but this is like a whole new frontier. Okay, something's bugging me right now Can you move your mic? There you go talking to that part. Oh this part. There you go. Okay, soon your sex doll will have an intelligent Conversation with you, which is what you always wanted. I know you have your sex doll and you want to have a chat. So stop trying to get serious. Stop trying to get Siri to talk dirty.

Get ready for sex dolls with an artificial naughty mind. That's because a deep and personal connection during intimate moments adds a lot of value to the sexual experience, apparently, but the problem was until now you needed another human to form that bond. So enter Matt Mcmillan, he's the inventor behind real doll who promises a filthy utopia for sex dolls with artificial intelligence concepts to not just the body, but for the mind. So you can't just be like having sex with a sex doll, she's going to talk to you too. I wonder if she's going to nag. I was just going to say.

I just started to sell, yeah. Have they started selling this? I think so. I think this is a really bad move. Well, his real dolls are life-like and they're silicone dolls that currently cost between 5,000 and 10,000. For now, they're just dolls, but he's developing the artificial intelligence.

So for example, they are a robot female who can respond to questions and movements as if she were human. She always agree, because then maybe he's on it something. What do you what do you dream about? She says, I have a lot of dreams she responds. I do not becoming a real person by having a real body. I dream about the meaning of love. I hope to become the first world's first sex robot. That's quite a dream, honey. I know. He's just stealing lines

directly out of ex-Mokina. I know. I mean, I guess, I guess that there's a recent poll. One in five of you would have sex with a robot regardless of its human characteristics. Sex is changing a lot with technology. Let's just say that. This doesn't interest me. It's a matter of the Nordr, I don't want to peg

or I don't want to have sex with a doll. But maybe I should try it. Three movies that I already explored this. That's her, Spike Jones came out a couple of years ago. There's Lars and the real girl with Ryan Gosling and then just this year, Ex-Mokina came out a couple years ago. There's Lars and the real girl, right with Ryan Gosling and then just this year X-Mock and I came out which is my that's probably my favorite of those three. So that's three were there any before that? So it's trend. No, not so much. Next year three peggy movies. I want to bang my OS. Exactly. Yeah, so that's the sex style thing. So you don't want one. I know the sounds

incredibly sexist and I love my wife and I chose her because she's beautiful and because she's so smart. She's smarter than I am and I love talking to her. All that being said, if I'm having sex with a thing, I don't want to talk to me. I know. I agree. And you know what? It's interesting that you brought that up intelligence because some guys just aren't interested in smart women. Don't give me the line about how the brain is the most sexual or not. I'm not. All I'm saying is that some guys are like, she's hot. I don't need the girl. They want to talk to her, but I'm saying I love that you are attracted to

an intelligent woman because I've my friends and I, I mean, that like, she's got to do it. I debated for years, Emma. I mean, it took me a long time with the one that I, the girl I married to. I'm like, do I really want to, she's going to be able to bust me on things. She's not going to take my shit. She's going to be able to, she She's gonna be able to see right through things

that I'm doing. Do I want a headache like this? But it was a smart choice. You think? Because it helps you work. She keeps me on. Well, that's a thing about intimate relationships. I believe, at least for myself,

you want to be with someone who challenges you. Because looks fade. Let's just be honest. You still be attracted to him. But like, you want someone's intellectually stimulating. Tell me if you agree with this. Because I think that if you agree with this, because I think that if you actually fall in love

and you really, really love the person you're with, it's kind of the same as getting a puppy. I don't know if it sounds weird, but like when I got Stanley and he was like my little dog and he was like much younger, I still look at him like that little dude that I got. I still look at Jillian like she's 20 years old. I still see her as a 20 year old woman.

That's beautiful. And the other night we went to a bar, we rarely do that. And they didn't card her. And I was like, what? You look like you're 20 years old to me. So I think it's kind of like the same as when you get a dog. You always see that puppy. That's so true.

I think that's beautiful. I love that. You're right. And I don't even mean maybe looks don't ever fade. Maybe you always find your partner, Pugo, which I hope. I don't look at someone like that but now. If I met Jillian now, I might be like, ah, Jesus. She's a little old.

Over the hill. No, but I just like to oh, Jesus. Jesus. Wait, it's rolled over the hill. No, but I just like to hear that because there are some guys that I know personally very close, the family members and friends and they just like are like, I really want a woman who doesn't challenge me who says yes to everything and will come along

with for my ride. Those are the guys that spin out of control though and they start making terrible decisions because there's no one there to like call them on their ship. They're up because they're yes women. Yeah. I think we all want someone who, at least for me, like one of my goals would be a for-life partner

that makes me a better person, challenges me, and I learn new things from. She's the first girl I ever dated that wouldn't go get me beer. Everyone else is like, oh do you want me to go get you a 12 pack? You want something from the fridge? You want me to make you a sandwich?

It was great! And now it's like, ah, that's all I'm gonna do for you. Really? See, that's so interesting. I'm like, if I asked her to go get me a beer, she would just give me a withering look. Like, are you fucking kidding me right now? Like, which part of wife says get you a beer? Get me a friggin beer.

Make me a sandwich woman. I love your wife. I wanna hang out with her. She's pretty sweet. She is sweet. Okay, I met her after a disaster show, which is another podcast that Anderson does, which is awesome.

Thank you. You'll see her at the festival. Oh, good. I'm not gonna send her to your blowjob shop, though, because I don't, I don't, you feel like she's already good enough. Yeah. She, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, she's got, great feedback and insight. And you give great email. Did you say that yet? I give good email. Yeah. That's what I'm getting to. So everyone, I love you.

Thank you for emailing me at feedback at sexwithalmy.com. Love hearing from you. And don't forget to include your name, how old you are, and where you listen from. That totally helps. Yes. Or like if it's about a relationship, how long you've been in the relationship?

Yeah, like sometimes I need more context because we don't have the phone. So like, I always want to say, provide more details, but like not about the like, I called him and then he called her and then he called me. It's more important to have just like, how long you've been together. Just a little more context. They're important things. Right.

You would want to know if you were hearing it from someone else. Oh, look at this. The first one's how to approach a partner about pegging. What? How to approach a partner about pegging. Yeah. Next thing, take that 10 times fast. The pegging, the pegging devices are going to talk.

Deeper, push me in deeper. Is that where we're heading to? We might be. I don't know. Oh, this thing just blew up. No, so this email is about pegging. Yeah, but you know what just happened. What do you challenge me to say 10 times fast?

Challenge me to say problems with pegging, problems with pegging. Problems with pegging. But have you ever had any friends who pegged? I guess if I More to God on like I got limb and suggest that my cathar would as a friend which he's not He claimed to have been pegged so I guess. Oh interesting. Okay, so that totally Or maybe he just put soap up his butt. I can't remember Some they're not the bomb, but no, I have many friends that have admitted that they enjoy to be pegged But I've heard a lot of calls on it. We've a tons of calls about it

Okay, here we go. The email just popped away and so here's what it is It's the shame of itself. Hey, Emily love the podcast and catch up as much as possible I'm a 36 year old mayor male Married to my soulmate for 12 years and we have an incredible relationship We've been very open about our wants, needs, and fantasies and love exploring most facets of sex and intimacy. Thanks for your podcast. Thanks to your podcast, I've broken down the stigmas

I had about anal play and really enjoy it. I told my partner how much I enjoy play and she does it sometimes, although I feel she's a little reluctant. I become interested in pegging because I want her to be more involved and I enjoy taking on a more submissive role. But I'm concerned that if I confront her with this, that it might be a little too much for it to take because she's so reluctant. I've broached the subject with some research but have stopped sort of asking

due to the lack of interest from her. Do I just let it go? I have other toys, but I want to try something a little different. Can you help me? Thanks, Ren. Ren, it's a good name. Okay, Ren, Pegging, as we said, it's the hottest trend of 2015, and we're definitely starting to hear more about it. It's what 2015 is going to be remembered for. Yeah, it's the year of Pegging.

Um, fact is, when it's done correctly, it can be pleasurable for men, as I think you already know. But why do you think she's reluctant? And I'm curious if you're possibly projecting his worries onto her. She just might not have enough information. She might be reluctant because she doesn't really know, maybe he doesn't turn her on,

but also she might have some fears or anxieties. She might think she has not what she's doing. She might not think it's a turn on. I know this is wrong, but I feel like we need the nationality as well. Oh, okay. Include your nationalities, people. Well, for this one in particular, it could be a disaster down there. It could be just a hairy mess.

Okay, well, make sure you take care of yourself. I mean, maybe she is reluctant for a good reason. I don't even think about that. Hygiene's important. We've talked with a lot on the show, okay? But she might think you're, you know, she might think it's a gay thing. So it's understandable that you want to include her

in this act and it sounds like she's done a little butt play, which I always say if you want to start, you want to jump right into pegging, but you're like, because like Ren said, I was curious about it and she probably stuck a finger in or you bought a butt plug and it felt good. And now he's like, I'm going to go to pegging. It's like the gateway, I was curious about it. And she probably stuck a finger in or he bought a butt plug and it fell good. And now he's like, I'm gonna go to Pegging. It's like the gateway, the fingers.

And some guys might not even like the fingers, but you mentioned that she's open-minded. And no matter how open-minded you are, Pegging is very unfamiliar territory for a lot of women. And so they're not used to having that kind of control and being dominant, just might not be her thing. And she might be afraid of like, masculating him or hurting him.

So I wouldn't give up because it'll always be back in the back of your mind. So I would say you said you've sent her information on if you're like emailing her attachments, but it's the kind of thing where you gotta like sit down and be like, babe, let's go shopping. You should go shopping at like your local sex toy store.

If there's, I don't know where you live, do you say where you live? No. store. If there's, I don't know where you live. Do you say where you live? No. Ren. But there's, you go online. You're just Germany with the name Ren. Yeah, maybe. But you could go online.

You could be like, hey, let's try this. Like you could talk or through it. Or, okay. Carol Queen is amazing. And about 20 years ago, she came out with a best seller called Bend Over Boyfriend. And it is like the first movie ever made about pegging. And if you go, it was a first of its kind and it's still really good.

What's it called? Bend over boyfriend. And if you go to goodvibes.com or just go to my website, click on the good vibrations banner and you search for it. And I think if you use code Emily, you can get a discount on it. But you could probably find it online and it's popular. So maybe you guys could watch, because here's the thing around, we all learn in different ways. Maybe she needs to see it. Maybe she needs to, you know,

some more information that it's not working the way you're doing it. But you're on the right track. You're in a great relationship. She already did the finger, let's just say finger blasting, finger poking. And I think you're on a good track. Don't give up yet

It's just sometimes it's a way about learning how to communicate with our partner and educate to that pegging dream of yours Okay, that's right. Okay. What if I just brought one home? Feder a couple drinks, you know, maybe maybe if it's there dude, it's not all about drinks Sometimes that's a social it doesn't help to have a little glass one glass of wine But I want you to bring one home and say, look what the guys gave me the office of the joke. What, what do we give it to? But he's already talked about it.

Yeah. But I think a little shopping online, little shopping at a local, every town is a little sex store. Okay, but first we gotta take a little break here. Yeah, quick one. I'm gonna talk about your balls real quick. What? My balls, I'm married man.

Just any balls in particular. So it is summer and it's getting hot and sticky and sweaty, especially here, well, I don't know, New York is sweaty, everywhere sweaty right now, wherever you're at, it's summer. And I created with my partner, Tony, a product called Down Under Comfort. And we actually sold out of it last year because it's that good. It is the most unique product you've tried.

There's nothing else like it. Men's health voted it. The number one product you didn't know you needed. So here's the bottom line. I'm going to cut to the chase. We have intimate areas that we sweat in. For men, it's their balls, for women in the summer. It's our breasts. We sweat everywhere, guys.

Okay, men's whatever. Not just our balls. I'm going to picture in it. It's just like a sponge. No, the truth is it's called down undercuffer, but it's like anywhere that you sweat that you don't use, do it in the summer. And it's just like a sponge. Come on, go ahead. No, the truth is, it's called down under comfort, but it's like anywhere that you sweat that you don't use, do you order it in the summer. And it's this really unique formula

because the thing about talcum powder, which is what a lot of guys use, is that it's messy, carcinogenic, it's clumpy out of the place. This is like a really light cream, and then it turns into a powder. It's a magic trick. It's a magic trick.

Yeah, and it smells citrusy, but like in a good mail way, but not 200%, not two and tens of a cent, and it turns into powder. Yeah, and it smells citrusy, but like in a good mail way, but not 200% not two and tens of a cent, and it's for women. And it prevents sweat stains, chafing at the gym, and just not feeling fresh. You just know that all day long, you feel fresh. Like everyone I know is freaking out about it

that I've given it to. It gives you an extra layer of confidence for sure. Yeah, it's true. As a guy who's used it, I didn't think I needed it. I still don't know if I do need it, but it makes me feel more confident. Okay, I don't have any kind of issues down there. No, thank you, Paul.

Clean. Exactly. And then boobs, my friend with, like, she was in my office this day and she's like, my boobs are huge boobs. I'm like, oh my God, try this. And she's been like posting it all over social media because it changed her life.

So go to emilyantone.com to get down under comfort. Right now, use coupon code emily for 20% off your first purchase. How great is that? emilyentowney.com down under comfort code emily. All right, thank you for that. All right, missing these are more emails, missing sexual confidence. Hey, emily, my partner and I have been together

for almost five years. I'm still finding myself somewhat sexually intimidated by him. I don't have the confidence to try new things and often find myself not initiating sex because of this. We have sex maybe twice a month max and I can see it's starting to really cause issues in our relationship. I have no idea how to fix this

but I want to fix it before it's too late. Thanks Sarah Jane. Okay Sarah, you brought up two major issues here. Sex twice a month sounds like you guys are having a little bit of a case of mismatch libido's here. I'm assuming he wants it more and you're avoiding it. And also he wants to try new things. Both of you, you know, that could definitely intimidate you and make you want to shut down

because you don't want to fail him. What if you want to try new things? It's really scary. We were talking about with the pegging thing. I wish we knew what the new thing was. I know, see, this is what I'm saying. That's why more information would be great, but. Not missionaries, the new thing that I want to try.

Right, maybe he wants blow jobs, you know, by the kitchen sink. But you also might be fearful of not being able to do what he asks for. So I totally understand. And so I think that's, but also the second thing is, are you just not into sex right now? Like are you giving libido, are you on birth control, are you taking medications? That's the first thing we have to ask for.

All the time is that birth control. You get the wrong kind. If so many different kinds, you've got to try different kinds. So if you're just thinking that it's that you have a little libido right now, you could check it out with your doctor. But if you think that you're you're putting off sex because you're intimidated, which is a really strong word to use about a boyfriend you've been with for five years. And so I wanna know what kind of things does he wanna try in the bathroom like we said? Did he mention something that scared you?

Or just a general, let's try new things. Cause the truth is, Sarah Jane is that sometimes he might say these things and in your mind, you're like, oh my god, he wants an orgy, he wants up a threesome and he didn't define it for you. And maybe he's just like wants you to give him a blowjob in a different place where he wants you to put a finger in his butt or he wants you to make out more. I don't know, watch porn with him.

I feel like there's not enough information with this one and therefore I think it's this qualified. Really? Right. We don't know what the new things are. It makes me different. Okay, but I want to say is she needs to find out more information. You need to talk to him more because you're letting your fear of not knowing what he wants

to try because I don't think he's told you maybe and you're building this up in your head and you're causing a rift in the relationship by not having sex with him. So you just got to like talk to him and say, babe, like, what do you want to try? Can you explain it to me and get more information? And you know what? If you're not into it, that's fine. A lot about couples expanding sexually is trying different things. So maybe you want to try to do things in the bedroom.

So maybe you need to spend some time fantasizing, masturbating, being like, okay, I'll try that. Let's try this for me. And this could be a fun experiment. But if it's something that you're totally against, well, then you need to tell them, and maybe there's a compromise. So I'm just saying, it's shutting you down,

and you're right, it will wreak havoc on the relationship if you start withholding sex. So some things you could do is, you know, ask questions, and again, learn to figure out what you want. Communication. Communication is a lubrication. You're absolutely right. The fact that they've been negative for five years and she uses a word intimidation,

that's a huge red flag. Right. Something she's pulled back on sex for, you know, twice a month, like, to be intimidated by your partner that you've been with for five years. I mean, you should know them inside and out and maybe be uncomfortable here and there with certain situations, but not intimidated by your own partner when it comes to sex. I mean, that's a, I know. This is what I'm saying. But you know, and it also she might be having some self-esteem issues. Maybe she gained some weight or feels who knows. Probably five years. People let themselves go.

Oh my god. Not everyone. But who know? I mean, there's a lot going on here, but all I'm saying is you need to talk more. And I know this might be uncomfortable. A lot of couples don't know how to talk about sex as we realize. But if you don't talk about sex and prioritize sex, it's going to... Do you have a sound effect for something dying? No, I'm not in breath or not.

Or just that dripping thing? No, it's okay. You don't have to. No pressure. Is that what's happening? I just kind of like that. I know, I know. It's going to have what?

It could just, the sex life will just die in faith. That's it. There's a slide. A slide. Thank you. How hacky is that playing a slide whistle? I liked it. You know what it's called in my little machine? What?

Loss of boner. I didn't name it. It came there. See? It came there. He will lose his boner. That's the best thing ever. Yeah, it's like a buzzkill boner.

What else am you got? You got more. Blowjob and bargo. I do. Blowjob and bargo. Not a good idea. That would be a very scary headliner in the wake of the day. There's been an embargo on blow jobs.

Blow jobs are illegal in some states. But anyway, hi Emily. It's still always be because I mean, what kind of politicians are going to come out and say, we must change this embargo on blow jobs Error, you know what I mean? It's not gonna say a lot because men's favorite thing in the world Okay, hi Emily my wife and I separated a few months back and are trying to work things out We've been together 12 years have three kids one of the sticking point she has is regarding oral sex

The issue is that oral sex is something I love more than the average guy and have been a bit of an ass about it in the past when I haven't received one for a while. She hates giving blow jobs, and she essentially said she will never go down to me again if we decide to get back together. Do you think she actually means never, or do you think that over time she will come around

and start doing again assuming I'm not pressuring her to do it. I.e. let her make the decision if she wants to or not. Thanks Chris. You know who would probably be a better answer in that question? Thank you Emily. I bet she would be. If he asked her that exact same question.

Well she'd say no never no no that's your wrong. You know why Chris she just said never. I want to know which part of never you don't understand. To me, never sounds like never. And I under here's a thing, Chris, when men ask for blow jobs in the wrong way as like a bargaining tool or they make whenever you pressure a woman for sex, it is completely working against you. When you say, I have an at-sex in Christmas, the memory of the last time you gave me a blowjob, it was snowing outside, now it's summer, or how about a blowjob tonight, babe?

Do you know what that does to women? It makes us like shut down and die in the last that's shut down, makes us wanna leave the house, and the last thing you wanna do is put your penis in our mouth. Because we feel pressure, we're feeling like we're not satisfying you, we're feeling like we're letting it down, and let's not forget that just to give me a blowjob.

Now women still need to be turned on for that. So maybe you could, do you perform oral sex on her? Do you turn her on sexually? Are you like babe tonight's all about you? And then maybe she'd want to give you a blowjob willingly. But you know, those are strong, like those are some strong fighting words. And if you're obsessed with a blow job, this does not sound good, like, good information

for me. I had a guy I was dating for a year and a half and he was not that into oral sex and finally, like, a year in, I was like, so because he knows I'm into it. And I gave him frigging killer blood. You're like, I have two classes on these. Yeah. I'm like, hello, hi. And I know I'm really good at it. And I like giving blow jobs. And I said, so listen, dude, I'm just curious. So, um, I didn't classes on these. Yeah, I'm like, hello, hi. And I know I'm really good at it. And I like giving blood jobs. And I said, so listen dude, I'm just curious. So I didn't calm dude. Maybe I said sweetie.

That probably wouldn't move. And I said listen, so is it, I'm just curious about the oral, I think I had a martini. See any martini? Social lubricant. Because I'm not a big drinker. So to me it's like whoa. And I said listen, so is it that you're just,

maybe you're confused about how to do, maybe you want some pointers, you're not sure, you know, how, you know, I can tell you what to do, what I like. Do you think that maybe you're confused about how to do maybe you want some pointers you're not sure you know how you know I can tell you what to do what I like right do you think that maybe I don't like it or is it something that you're not into I gave them three options he said you know what just not my thing and then I said you know what you're just not my thing oh really Chuck please no I didn't say that but I you thought point I thought well I don't know that I could teach him to be into it we had a really really good relationship in a lot of ways. And that wasn't the only reason there were other problems in our relationship. But what I'm saying is, you know, she could hate

blow jobs because of your attitude and that you're you're pressuring her. But it sounds like you guys just separated. And there must be other things going on. And I'm concerned why you're getting back to get I get for the kids, it's a good thing. But I just think that, you know, does the blow job in bargo actually have you doubting your willingness to repair the marriage? So you have to accept the fact that she, you know, never, never, never might want to do it. So, or it could be a statement made in anger.

And I would say if you really want to get back together with this woman, I would break this down. I would say, well, what if, like, what don't you like about it? If she's like the taste, the smell, the scent, the sound, it's terrible. I'll show you how I feel like I hate that you pressure me into it. If she hates the way you talk about it with her, you could get her to love it again. I don't think this is a quick yes or no, but all I'm saying is never is pretty strong. Did she say it in the heat of an argument and there's more conversation that needs to

happen? No, she says, it doesn't matter if you bought me a numerous Sadies, six diamond necklaces, it went down to me for an hour. I will still never give you a blowjob. Well, then I think you don't reconcile. I just thought of a great passive aggressive way. Why? I think you could go about this.

Oh, good. Great passive aggressive was a great advice, girl. But watch, you're going to like it, I think. So, like, they're doing their thing and when they get to the point where like normally the oral sex would occur, like, maybe he just went down on her for a little little bit now it's her turn, but he knows she's not gonna do it He rolls over reaches into the night stand pulls out like one of the mouth flesh lights and goes This is the part where you usually would do this, but I'll just do it myself if period for like 10 minutes Yeah, well I was gonna say at the very end it is flesh lights himself as you can sit there and read a book

Well, I was gonna say at the very end you know, he's by a flashlight. Yeah, it's not the same But feels pretty damn good to most feel bad. I've said that before. And don't forget, you don't want to do the threat. So it sounds like you guys got major communication issues. And I almost feel it the fact that you're this is all predicated on the blow job that there's bigger things going on. Yeah. Do you agree? I why missed the very first part of that question, because I thought I saw a bug. I'm sorry. I got very, I really the first part was they separated a few months back. They've been together 12 years and the

The sticking point he says is blow jobs and he's such a weird court argument to like you know it comes up You know sex stuff comes up when divorce is all the time and she never gave me blow jobs Sir and he never took out the trash judge, right, you know, I should reverse those Yeah, no, but there's a lot of things going on here, and I think that if you really love this woman, you want to get back together. If there are, and the blow dubs, you only stick in point, get to the bottom of it.

Oh, and the poor kids, they're family unit, they're nuclear family breaking up, is dependent on dick sucking. Right. Poor bastards. Well, I just think he doesn't have enough information and people don't communicate, so I gave him some really good tips.

I think. You did, you absolutely did. You always give good tips. Aw, thanks, Anderson. That's why I love my job. OK, ready? Black of affection, well pregnant. Hi, Emily.

I'm currently in the third trimester by pregnancy. And I've been wanting to have sex all the time. However, my husband refuses. He would rather just get a... He would rather just get a hand He would rather just get a hand job and I'm super frustrated. I've brought it up 10 before, but still nothing. I feel a huge lack of affection from him. This is making me feel really insecure, especially since I catch him watching porn,

looking at other girls online all the time. Don't know what to do, any advice to be appreciated. Love your podcast, Nicole 30. Cherry Hill, New Jersey, listens well driving. She just answered all of our questions. But what kind of porn? Because if it's pregnant porn, you've got a big problem. No, no, no, no.

Okay, so first of all, Nicole, have you voiced these feelings to him? Have you let him know that it really frusts you? I'm assuming you have. And let's just talk about this. There might be some myth-busting education that has to go on because a lot of guys, this is confident, first of all,

it's common that you want sex a lot during pregnancy, that happens with hormones fluctuating. So cool. Ah, because so many guys are freaked out by it. I know, this is what I'm saying. Well, because technically in the third trimester, it's a threesome. Well, that's what he's feeling.

So he might be feeling he's harming the baby. He might be feeling like the belly thing is intimidating and it's not that he finds you attractive. It's just like, there's a big belly and the baby's in there. And then they feel like they're having sex with the baby in bed, like a threesome. Exactly.

So it's weirdly close to incest. That's exactly what you're saying. Especially if you have a giant member. I know, I get that. You could also have sex doggy style, maybe. If he doesn't have to look at it. I'm, that sounds really bad, but I'm just saying that that's what a lot of guys are kind of freaked out by the whole. I'm sort of guys too. Like once the baby comes, like they don't want, they don't want like to have oral sex because like that's my mother. That's the mother of my child. I don't want my penis.

It's like almost trauma watching. Yeah. They got it. They got to move this stuff. No, we need a new system. I don't. I don't. I don't do when the guy says I smoke cigars. I mean, I'm not in the hospital. Don Draper style. Dude, exactly. I don't want. I just wheel or in. I just let her like go right through the doors with. Exactly. I'd rather have my girlfriends there anyway, because guys suck at this. Some guys aren't as great as that kind of support. And I don't want to freak out. Here's another thing.

He might be scared. I mean, like seriously, like scared. You can explain to him all you want with, you know, charts and graphs and experts. You can give him more information. And sometimes your dude is just going to be convinced that he's going to hurt the baby. So if you two have sex and sometimes he's afraid of hurting you, you know, he just might be scared. So if you explain it to him as much as you can, he might be less scared. I've never heard of a case where a baby gets injured or something.

I'm sure it's happened, but I never heard of it. And he's being selfish prick. I know. Is he going down? And the fact that I'm just picturing her like eight months pregnant and he's like, here, give me a hand job. I don't want to do anything.

See, that's like the, that's like such a douchey thing. Like, give me a good job. Like, what about pleasing you? What about if you just whip out your vibrator? So I mean, he's just engaged, especially if this is your first child, chances are that he's just engaged, especially if this is your first child, chances are that he's so consumed with maybe his fears, his anxieties and stressors that sex isn't even on his radar, which sound strange, but that happens also.

But he might just be clueless. He could think that the semen's going to send him into labor or his penis, you know, he doesn't know that you're going to have like a great orgasm ever, or if you'd ever get over himself if something happens. So there's a few ways to approach it. You need to talk to them. You need to give them more information and tell them don't be afraid. Express your needs and every guy I know like like come on to him. Turn him on. Like the second you start turning him on, like don't massage your belly in his face. If he's freaked out by your new giant boobs or whatever it's fair game niblon his ears.

Give him a blowjob first, get him turned on. I mean, I bet he'll quickly get over whatever he was thinking. And you could also just if this isn't working right now, he's gonna be the father of your new baby. Have light sex, mutual masturbation. I know it's not what you want, ideally, but he can masturbate with a flashlight, you can use a toy, and then you both get off. And I promise you, your sex life will come back.

I sure hope, except for the things we were just talking about. And I think for the ladies too, like after they give birth, they need a few weeks off afterwards, right? Yeah, like more than that, six, eight weeks. So you're gonna have a little break here coming up anyways, and then hopefully everything gets back up.

Right, but if you need to get yourself off now, sweetie, if he's just not into it, this happens. And I'm hoping that before this, he was super loving and affectionate and that will come back. You have two grown adults here though saying that he is being a selfish jerk. Yeah, he is.

So that's why I said, get more information and also you can just take matters into your hands and please yourself, nothing wrong with that. And also again, you could get a flashlight. I love that flashlight. It's so funny because I told you after this pegging panel they were all like, can you get me a flashlight? Can you get me a flashlight? It was just really funny that everyone wanted one. We talked about a lot of toys there, but they were just one of the flashlight. Do you want a flashlight? I can't remember.

I don't need a flashlight. I'm a married man. Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm trying to, I'm a married man. Oh Jesus Christ. I'm trying to wrap my mind around a scenario where a gay couple could use a pagan. I don't think that it really, they would ever need it, right? Yeah, because they have a penis. Yeah. But maybe they need it. And let's say like amputee, it's almost like a peg leg. They're penis fell off?

Yeah, well, I say it in that way. But I guess, I guess a pagan is not really big in the gay community for sex. No, because they pegged with the penis. Yeah, spilt in pegging. Right. Right. And so that's why a lot of people think Pagan is gay, but all I'm saying, the reason

it's so it's actually literally un-gay because gay guys don't need the Pagan because they got their own pegs. It's just a matter of putting things in your butt and a lot of men say it intensifies their organisms. I hate when people think that like is, oh, she puts puts on my butt, I become gay and I'm ridiculous. Ridiculous. I just think try it once, see how it feels, like with the finger.

I was saying that day I was having a discussion with somebody and it's like, if gay couples, if they had vagina, they would use a vagina, but they don't, so they use the butt. They probably use both. Like, like, heterosexual people do, but it doesn't make you gay because you put it in the butt. It's just you work with what you got to work with. Exactly. The gay guys have the got to work with. Exactly.

And the gay guys have the butts to work with. But do you know what's something funny? They do make a flesh jack and it's a butt. Yeah, and I saw it. It's an weird can. The one that I saw it looks like a fosters. Yeah, but some guys, and it was tighter. My finger got stuck in it.

Where did you see it here? They sent a bunch here. They sent a bunch here. They're just so. And I put my finger in and it was stuck. They're still giving with their flesh. But if you guys want one, go to my website, click on the flesh eye banner. Use code Emily, get fleshlob. You'll figuring it. They're still giving with their flashlights. But if you guys want one, go to my website, click on the flashlight banner, use code Emily, get flash-loop, you'll love it.

It's just so funny that, I don't know. I feel like there's like a tipping point with flashlights that leave because everyone's asking me for one, people like friends and whatever, it's weird. Okay. Oh, you know the new product they have to come up with is if this is the year of the peg, they gotta have peg on one side and flash-loop on the other.

Like a flashlight with a peg rod. Yeah. Yeah. Should I email them right now? You flip it around like a the other. Like a flesh light with a peg rod. Yeah. Should I email him right now? You flip it around like a baton. Like what do you feel like? What do you want? I get it. You can choose.

Do you want a flesh light? You want a thing in your ass. You want a thing in your ass. But spin the flesh light. Whatever. Yeah. That would be a good one. God, you're full of good deals.

I know. You have one more email. I do. Dear M. It's about how to increase wife's sexual appetite. Dear M. My wife and I have been married for seven years and together for ten additional years before that. That would be seventeen years.

Well we've had a good sex life, she just seems to lack that adventure aside. She doesn't like when I perform oral. She doesn't like performing oral most time and we're sort of stuck in a rut. Well we do enjoy the times we do get to get together sexually. They are getting farther apart and lack any spontaneity. We do have a few different toys that we use on occasion, and it helps, but she seems to just want to get on top and then when we're done, we're done. My appetite for sex is much larger and more adventurous than hers, and I want to know what

I could do to make or want it more with me. I like some floor play and try new things, but can't seem to get her into that. We have two kids in both work, so I imagine that's not helping. Thanks M.K. They work, not the kids. Made it sound like the kids work. Oh, the two, they have two kids and they both work. And they work work.

The kids don't work. Right, and they've been together 17 years. So again, you know what would be great here? You know what would happen? When you say adventurous, no, no, when he says I want to be more adventurous, give us some examples of what you're asking for. He might not even know though. This guy, he sounds like they're in a rut and he just wants to do more fun sex stuff.

That's probably a way to listen to your show. Yeah, exactly. So here's the deal. Okay. And this is common. Okay. You guys have been together for 17 years. You've got two kids.

You're working. You're busy. It's really can be really challenging for couples to find the time to have sex. Some people want in the morning, some evening, the kids are running around the weekends, but you have to make the time for sex because when you stop having sex, it just, right? So it sounds like you guys need to have the sex talk because sex is expansive and if you guys aren't growing and switching things up to keep things exciting or interesting, it is going to be a problem.

And there's so many chemicals and stuff that we don't even think about that get transferred, that go on with pheromones and it's all real stuff. To a chemistry that happens with sex and if you don't have that sex, you start to disengage and go all comes up between you and it kind of festers and grows from there and the sex breaks it all down. I know. And the first thing I was saying is she might be experiencing low libido. I'm not child old. She is, but like she could be having her hormones fluctuate. She could be on birth control. She could have gone on antidepressants. Those are always the physical factors that you have to you have to consider. But you're saying that she's just not into oral, not into trying new things. And so again, I'm curious if you've explained to her what you want, why you want it. Maybe you guys could watch a movie together about it.

You could go shopping, look at a book. I mean, I like, listen to my podcast together, like, or buy my book, hot sex over 200 things you could try to night. Like, there's different ways to explain it to her because maybe when you say adventurous or I want you to time you up, or I want to tell you up, she doesn't get it.

So guys are very straightforward with that. And she might need more, she might need to like picture it, feel it, like talk it through. So you might need to explain to her that you love her, you find her like so attractive, you love the sex that you're having. It's a, but you'd like to try something new.

What if you were a little poem about what do you'd like to do? Right, exactly. you were a little poem about what he'd like to do? Right, exactly. Doesn't mean after rhyme. And explain to her that mixing things up could be great for both of you, because maybe she's gotten to a sexual right as well. And what happens is you're very cognizant

of the sexual right. She's thinking, we're not having sex. I'm too stressed. I don't know of time. He wants to try something weird and crazy. And I've got to make the peanut butter sandwiches for lunch tomorrow. So you guys are like on two different sides of this spectrum when maybe if you guys come together and you're like, wow, this could be really cool. I want to do this thing that's going to, you know, what if you could have multiple orgasms and what if we like have

sex outside, that could be cool. I mean, I don't know what your things are, but if it would benefit both of you, make it a playful conversation. Here's the other thing where I think guys need a little help. For example, when a man wants a blowjob, it's night the night, you can suck my dick in a while, or like, I want to try new things. Women are hearing, I don't suck your dick enough, I'm disappointing you, and our sex life is boring, you find me uninteresting. So you got to make these conversations light and playful. You know, suggest making it like a sexy bucket list. Like what are three things you wanna try?

What are three things I wanna try? And if she can't think of three things, you can be like, write down the top three times we had sex that you remember. And I'll write down three things that I would try. I like that. Thank you. That's really cool.

Yeah, and then you could exchange those. There's different ways to get to the root of what you want You can even act them out like you do a charades Like I don't know. Right. Like not pantomime. What's it called pantomime or charades exactly? Mime it might be also taking away for sexy weekend vacation sex. Yeah, it's always good You feel like you're a different person of that strange room. I love it What if you switched up the name instead of blowjob? Like, hey, how about a funny job tonight? You mean, give me a little wacky job?

Right, right. And why don't you just perform oral sex in our first two and see what happens? Yeah, you know what? Guys, I can't have it. I mean, you can lead your partner down many roads if you get some half way there. Some women don't like oral sex, but some women

is for two reasons. Either it actually doesn't, it hurts them because they're really orgasmic or multi orgasmic or they're very uncomfortable with how it is done that they don't have down on a comfort they don't have to she's not fresh and dry so shower first but I just say like you know don't totally closes down you just have to kind of rework your approach to talking to her about it because it's your wife and you love her can I just say that I really like that idea of three times you remember and then like yeah it's very benign it's not like oh I think of three crazy things it's your wife and you love her. Can I just say that I really like that idea of three times you remember? And then like, maybe it's very benign.

It's not like, oh, I think of three crazy things. And hope that like, maybe you guys have a little crossover there too. Yeah. Like, there's one that's the same or maybe two. Right. Exactly. And you learn a lot because she was like that time that we came in the house and you ripped my clothes off and threw me against the wall and went down to me.

You be like, oh, she likes spontaneous acts. It's really funny because I actually, not funny, but it is interesting trend since I'm preparing for a blowjob. No, another one. Is that we asked male listeners, when I was supposed to do this blowjob workshop for steak and blowjob day, but I got sick anyway, we said, email me with your best blowjob stories. BTW, I always want to hear these feedback at sexwithelmy.com. But an interesting thing was

wait wait B2W doesn't work by the way it's more syllables than same by the way BTW by the way what do I say you said BTW which I guess is a thing I never heard it before by the way yeah but same by the way it's shorter I know but I was I was saying I think it's I say that sometimes I can see typing. I forgot. Oh, the interesting thing was that for men, they were really cool stories, but the common theme throughout all of them, can you imagine what they were? Can you guess? I would think seeming coming out of the nose.

Throw it up. Not at all. No. Spot Nady. It was like, I walked in the door and she gave me a blowjob. We were in a dressing room. She gave me a blowjob. We were in the car, she gave me a blowjob. It was always like an unexpected blowjob.

Unexpected blowjob. Where they didn't have to ask for it. Yeah. And I asked women to send me in their best oral sex stories. They have napkin as forthcoming. So my female listeners, email me too. It's like a surprise party in your pants. It is.

I just want to know, like I love oral sex. That's why I'm excited about workshop. And Anderson, you're awesome and everyone to check out Anderson's film Thursday night at the Hollywood shorts. Yeah, Hollywood shorts. Hollywood shorts. Hollywood shorts. I tweeted about it too, as always, follow me on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram.

And also, you guys, if you like the show, tell your friends. You know, like you can also go to iTunes. You can easily rate us there. That helps a lot. Subscribe to us. And also, we've an Amazon link on our Sex with LA page. And if you make that your Amazon link right there, then that helps us too.

Because everything you buy in Amazon, we would get a little bit present. Like, 3% doesn't change your prices, but it just helps us keep doing the show. You know what I'm saying? And that's all I got Anderson, do you have anything else that you'd like to share? Yeah, the film boat, we did top five scenes that take place on a plane this week, ball brine.

Of course I hear sex scenes. Plane scenes. Would it be airplane? No, but I got a little, I tried to always challenge myself so I didn't do any movies that are about airplanes. That's a good point. Yeah, you know, so. That's why it's not my podcast. And I also did five rare dramatic ones and five comedic ones.

So I got a big list and a lot of really fun movies. Oh, I love it. We talked about it. Check out the film vault, check out the after disaster, check out his show. And everyone's going to see you tonight. Oh, yeah, everyone come. If you just hear this run over there, you'll both definitely have enough drinks and food for you and blow job tips and oral sex tips.

So thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Hey everybody, you know that I love my sex toys, right? I mean, kind of borderline obsession, and I also like jewelry, because I'm a chick, so I've been completely obsessed with my gorgeous vibrator necklace, The Vesper by Crave. And it's funny because we've talked about this in your city, I wear it every day, and

I wear it as a layering piece, and it looks like a cool pen. It's just a very cool necklace. Everyone's like, oh my God, I love your necklace. That's so cool, what is that? And I'm like, oh, it's a great conversation. I'm like, it's actually a vibrator. I'm like, no way. And it's just, it's cool because it's actually

combines orgasms and jewelry, and it's a great gift. It's a really cool necklace. It's very pretty, and don't be fooled by the cheap knockoffs. They're just giant black dicks. That I'm going to get. Exactly, we don't want that. There actually are no knockoffs. But I know what you're saying, it was a joke.

Okay, they come in silver, gold, and rose gold. It's slender. Okay, I want to give them to everyone because I swear to God I've given them to my girlfriend. Oh, mother's getting dirty over. Because that'd be a great mother to take gifts. I almost gave my mom when she was here last week, but I didn't. I'm like, I think she was here last week, but I didn't.

I'm like, I think she'd be like, what am I going to do with us? So then also here's the thing. If you want to give your partner a gift, it's the perfect gift, jewelry and orgasms equals happy partner. Give her a future orgasms, which is good. Oh, here's the cool thing.

It's like truly a powerful vibrator. It's like a showpiece vibrator. It's like a full on orgasmic has different speeds vibrator. And what I love if you're a techie-kid all is that it charges via USB. It's very compact. So which is my other favorite part? And it lasts forever.

I've had mine for like five months of charge it, like for 10 minutes only. So check it out, go to lovecrave.com. Let's love crave, use code Emily and you get free shipping, it's elegance style orgasm perfection. Check it out lovecrave.com. Thanks for listening.