Sex With Emily - Bolder Self, Better Sex

Episode Date: September 2, 2022

How can you be bold in the bedroom? I’ve got the boldness queen herself, Jen Cohen of the “Habits & Hustle” podcast, to tell us how to design the life you actually want — including, of course, your sex life.Jen explains the 10% Target Mindset, the difference between what you want and what you need when it comes to sexual partners, how to build better intimacy habits, and how to normalize failure so that you take more risks. That’s where boldness comes in: to identify what you want, and be brave enough to work for it.Show Notes:Jen Cohen TED TalkFalling Forward by Jen CohenWebsiteInstagram“Habits & Hustle” podcastEmbodied is the New Sexy: 5 Benefits of Living A Radically Embodied Life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What does it mean to be bold? It means chasing what you want, chasing not just taking what you get. And the point is to pick something even though that thing may or may not work out, it still helps build that boldness muscle. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. So how do you be bold in the bedroom? Why would you want to be bold? I've got the boldness queen herself, Jen Cohn from the Habits and

Hustle Podcast to tell us how to design the life you actually want, including of course your sex life. Jen explains the 10% target mindset, the difference between what you want and what you want and what you need when it comes to sexual partners, how to build better intimacy habits and how to normalize failure so that you can take more risks. That's where boldness comes in, to identify what you want and be brave enough to work for it. Intentions with Emily For each episode join me in sending an attention for the episode, so when you're listening, what do you want to get out of this

episode? How might it help you? When my intention is to show you how mindset changes and a dedication to boldness can transform your life in and outside of the bedroom. Please rate and review Sex with Emily wherever you listen to the show. My new article embodied is the new sexy. Five benefits of living radically embodied life is up at sexwithemily.com. Check out my YouTube channel, social media, and TikTok. It's all at sexwithemily for more sex tips and advice. If you want to ask me a question, leave me your questions or message me sexwithemily.com slash askemily.

Or call my hotline 559 Talk Sex or 559 825 5739. Always include your name, your age, where you live and how you listen to the show. And it's totally cool to change your name or choose to remain anonymous. All right, everyone, enjoy this episode. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Gen Cone is an entrepreneur best selling author brand strategist, international speaker, podcaster and educator with a specific focus on building healthy habits to drive positive

behavioral change. Her viral TED Talk is the secret to getting anything you want in life, and her forthcoming book, Bigger Better Bolder is available for pre-order now. Learn more at JenniferCone.com. Is this the first valley? Yeah, it's the first one to see it. You are the first person to see it. She just came in.

Bigger, better bolder. Live the life you want, not the life you get. Congratulations on this. I'm so proud of you. It's only in pre-order right now. So, what's in a pre-order. So we're gonna put a link, we'll put a link in the show notes. So I think what's so interesting about this so-gen is like live a life you want, not the life you get. So some people, they get tripped out with even knowing what they want. So is that because there's so many options, that because we're afraid of...

It's the op, that's why we're talking a little bit about the options. I do believe that there's a couple things, right? I think that we don't necessarily need to know our destination, but it's good to go in a direction. And because of that, I think it's even that much more important to kind of do an act versus not, right? So you may not have all the answers, you may not know what you want to do, but at least doing something, even if it's not the exact thing that you precisely want, but at least doing something, even if it's not the exact thing that you, you know, precisely

want, will at least get you down a road and a path to at least getting closer to what that possibility is. What does it mean to be bold? It means chasing what you want. Chasing. Not just taking what you get. That's my entire philosophy. This is the whole thing. Okay, so chasing what you want, that what you get, Because we all get stuff. Right, we all get stuff. We all get stuff. We all get stuff. And most of us settle. Exactly. And my entire message and point is to not settle

and to actually chase what you get. And how do you want? To chase what you want. And the point is to pick something, even though that thing may or may not work out, it still helps build that boldness muscle. Because what people end up doing is they don't chase what they want and they settle for what they get is because they don't feel that they can get that thing,

they don't feel they deserve that thing and they are afraid of failing so they just don't try. So if you actually just attempt to make that thing, number one, your chances are that much more improved because the majority of people aren't even trying, right? So if you're just that one person's actually trying, your number or your potential for success right there is a little bit higher. And even if you don't get it going down that and getting more comfortable with that failure, we'll open up doors to you that you didn't even know because you're actually doing something. You're not going to get anything by sitting on your couch and watching Netflix. True.

We all know that, but it's that motivation to get up. So what I love that you talk about in your TED talk, and I'm sure you talk about it in your book, is the 10% target. Basically, the idea behind the whole 10% target is that you're making 10 attempts at going after. You're picking one thing that you want, okay, and you make 10 attempts at it. So it can be, it's not just call call call or email email email, but you it's just making 10 attempts. There's two things that happen in that process number one You get comfortable with the attempts and you get comfortable with

Failure because you're not maybe gonna get that so it becomes much more you become much more immune to it Right because the more and more you do something the the less fear or the less discomfort you have with it Right, so you you basically become immune to the failure because you've done something so many times. And a lot of you are so scared of it because they're so afraid of that one time being rejected, but if you do it enough, and we're also not saying that you'd ask someone out 10 times and eventually they get to yes.

You just, you know, of course I might never say yes, but you're gonna keep asking someone out to build that muscle. It's building the muscle. So like for dating, you can, if you really wanna date Bob, okay? And you ask him out and he says no, you know, before whatever reason.

Maybe you figure out another way to ask him out a different way, or maybe you do a group party or you have a game night or do something where you invite the person. But again, in that attempt, you may not ask Bob, maybe Bob will never go out with you, but maybe he'll meet Bob's friend or maybe you even asking Bob out will at least give you a little more confidence and a little bit less fear about asking someone else out

because you got over the hump by asking Bob out, right? Or you'll meet someone else by that process. There's lots of different clever ways that again, this is not a scientifically backed 10 attempts. You're going to get that thing. That's why I don't want people to think, yes, I'm going to add. If I don't try 10 times, anything. Well, that's why I was like, do I go 10 times or something?

People don't even, then now here's where the science comes in and the research. 75% of people don't even make one attempt. Let alone two or three, right? Like 18% make two or three. That's why I said, if you're just doing numbers, if you're doing numbers alone, you just asking that person out. Like it becomes A, a pure numbers gave it, if you wanna doing numbers alone, you just asking that person out. Like, it becomes a, a, a pure numbers gave if you want to look at that.

But the added benefit is that you actually get that comfort level. I also say all the time, you can get much more comfortable asking for the big things in life if you can ask for the little things. So you can start small. So if maybe you don't want to ask Bob out right away because Bob is your dream guy, maybe you can start with asking, you know, Lance out, who maybe, you know, you can kind of like practice the ask a little bit more, right? What I hear a lot from people is that they are not confident to ask for what they want in the bedroom,

they're not confident to ask people out out that there's so many insecurities that just like plague us, right? And so I guess I'm just wanted to know from you, if someone's just so afraid of even asking someone out, asking for what they want in the bedroom, and they're part of that they're married to, ultimately we're all afraid, and that's the universal we of not being loved

to be rejected and being dying alone. Rejected. I think rejection is like the universal feel. I also think there's other things that come into play, but I think that that is the main one. Self-doubt and fear of rejection are like huge. And I think we all have self-doubt and we all have fear of rejection. And I'm not saying in anything I do that there is a panacea for 100% you're never going to feel that way. What I just try to tell people is like I'm giving you strategies to soften the blow, I'm giving you strategies to make it less like potent and to make it much

better. And I believe that the 10% target and I believe, you know, practicing and creating boldness as a skill are ways to take your fear of failure maybe from a 20 to down to a three. It doesn't maybe go away and there's always times when it's gonna like really be super super potent, but at least you have now strategies and ways you can make it better. And the best way to get over a fear is to go, like, it's really to go through it, right? And anything, right? Like we always think in our heads that things are always going to be much worse, right? We always like over dramatize everything.

Like, catastrophize everything. That's human nature. I do it all the time. That's why a lot of us have so much anxiety and we have so much like internal stress. It's because we have like our brains can either work for us or they can work against us. And a lot of times, if we don't train our brains

to work for us, the natural place it goes is in a bad place or we ruminate. And that rumination is what's deadly, right? Because if we are ruminating on the wrong things, that will really be a problem. So the training then is getting more comfortable with that failure, is the failure, but also is that thinking of a book to go right. You can change the neuroplasticity like where your brain goes by a lot of different ways,

what you're consuming, you know, the consumption, like what you actually are reading, watching, talking, all that becomes enveloped into your brain, right? So if we change that and change what we say to ourselves, I have a big belief in this. The only way to really gain true internal confidence, not external confidence, but internal confidence is doing the work and going through the motions yourself. Make sure you're consuming things that are, you're not comparing yourself to other people, you have non-toxic people around you. All those things that you hear everyone talk about all the time, it's like that's a given, okay? Now what I'm saying is to get real external confidence,

internal confidence, not external confidence, is like do the work and like you have to see yourself you know basically progressing and achieving. That's why when I say well you go to the yourself, you know, basically progressing and achieving. That's why when I say, when you go to the gym, right, like, it's not about necessarily like being the next like, you know, fitness star. It's about the fact that, you know what, I, you make a promise to yourself, I'm going to do five pushups today and you actually do those five pushups. You got one more ounce of confidence because you followed through. You didn't break a commitment here. You didn't break a commitment. And to me, when you break a commitment is when that confidence just starts to shatter,

slowly, slowly, so relatable. There's so many great analogies to this with fitness, right? Like going to the gym and you go out just to be consistent, right? To keep going. It's like what you're sex to. We were like, oh, my sex drive is waneed and I don't want to sex anymore. I'm like, that's why you have to always keep your pilot light lit because you had at least always keep yourself a little bit in the mode of sex because when you stop, it's

like going back to the gym for the first time. And you're like, oh my god, how many get through this? It's true. It is true. That makes such great sense. I didn't know that. It's think about, yeah, if you stop having sex for a while, you stop masturbating, you stop having sex with a partner

It is like literally akin to going back to the gym after a haitist, which is how hard is it? I'm never that analogy. Yeah, okay, okay So that's I use that a lot a fitness as you can say I know with somebody who works out Now I mean I also get inspired by your Instagram because you're always like never miss the Monday I'm like I always miss the Monday But Jen you're consistent you keep going with it and that's so It's a little bit. Even if it's five pushups a day, at least you did that. You didn't work out. So it was sex. Maybe you kissed your partner that day. Maybe you just had

a five minutes of intimacy. You held each other. You stayed connected. But when you just put the sex on the backburner, which most people do for a while, so she have you kids, or you get busy with life, and like, we'll get back to that. It's not so easy. So you're saying, if you're just doing a little bit of maintenance, it helps keep your sex drives kind of like rumbling a little bit. You gotta keep, send your partner a sexy photo,

keep the fire was a four-play all day or four-play starts after the last orgasm. Like continue to woo your partner no matter how many years you're together, you still want to mean everyone to hurt like, make an effort, take the sweats off, like there's a, we all know that, but maybe we don't know the why of that. Like why is it important to still feel sexy ourselves, to far apart, just to feel this goes for all genders, because we need that little thread to stay connected to your

partner whatever it is and it could just be like making out or talking about sex or even, you know, some, you know, the problem with sex too is it's hard to keep having sex all the time and I am not talking about, continue to have penetrative sex. Side note is that I want to change the definition of sex as people think of it as like penis goes into the vagina, which the truth is for all genders, that's not even applicable to the vagina, and a penis involved, but what is involved with sex is connection, is intimacy. It could be, doesn't have to be orgasm. It could just be cuddling. It could be, you know, handling on the couch watching a show, but so many couples get disconnected from

that and they just stop because they don't know how to get back to it. And so that's why even mutual masturbation, like I don't care if you get each other off, but you can both lie side by side and have an orgasm. Like, so I'm interested in you. I have a question for you then. I have a question for you. I have a question for you then. That makes sense.

I actually... And you're a married woman? Yes, I am. So I married for how long? I've been with my god, 11 years, a long time. But okay, I wanna ask you something about that. Because you're saying, oh well, because people always say when you have kids and everything else, the, you're the intimacy

wanes or the, you're become much more disconnected because you have so many other responsibilities. We don't prioritize. We don't prioritize. And we hear, like you said, we hear all, we never, I never heard it in the way you just said it with pilot light, which I think is a great analogy and a great thing. But I do hear it in like, I, I, we hear, oh, you have to kind of keep it alive. But in reality, right, when you have that additional, and you don't have kids and you're not married, but I will say this. That's why, because I was afraid I would stop having sex. Because it's in reality, in real time, when you have your own life and you have a career

and you do have kids. And the other person has that stuff also time goes by fast. So what are the strategies to even get it to a place where you want to keep the pilot light on? After the break, more with Genco and how to use your bold. Along the lines of like keeping the energy going the flame, the pilot, the light state connect with your partner, there have been studies that have shown that couples who prioritize date night as a non-negotiable, like just as important as everything else, brushing your teeth, you know, going to whatever religious institution.

Your date night is, you get a babysitter, you do it, and it's like nothing gets in the way of it, and you would have rules. Maybe you're like, I, we don't bring our phones inside, we don't talk about kids, but it's that night that you just prioritize at the two of you. A few years ago, my husband's name, no one,

I would go on walks every single night for years, like it would be like how we would like, we would connect, right? We'd go in these long walks to dinner. We would pick a place that we have dinner. We would walk there and walk back. So that gave us at least like usually a two mile, the three mile walk where we have to like,

we have no choice, we have to talk to each other because we couldn't take our phones. It would force us in a good way to have to talk to each other for a good hour. And that's where we would end up catching up with our lives. Like this was happening in my life, this was happening in your life. There was a huge, huge gap when we didn't do those walks. Because I got super busy, I was traveling, he got super busy traveling, the kids again, like the kids is a big one, right?

Huge. And then, you know, I didn't know what the hell was going on in this. I literally had no, like people would say, oh, I heard that Noah blah blah blah and I'm like, oh, really had no idea. You know, because both of our lives are so busy. And so we've incorporated these walks back into our life again. And I will tell you, it does make such a big difference. But like, you have to put that effort in and that energy.

And there's been so many times when we would do these walks, I should say, it used to be, let's say, three nights a week before we had kids. Now, if we can say we're going to do it once a week and do it that way, it's on our, I guess, date night, I'm telling you it does make a big impact on that communication. You can use boldness to initiate these very big conversations are super important so you know you're on the same page. Like for example if you're going into a new relationship or someone that you're interested in and you know that your main

driver is being connected and having like a emotional connectedness, right? But you know, if their driver isn't the same as your driver, that could be a real problem in like really having a real nourishing, satiating relationship for you, right? Because if you love conversation and talking and like that kind of closeness is like your Love language so to speak and they don't have the same one. It's not gonna work, right? Like how they say like your crazy has to match my crazy for the relationship to be good But like initiating these conversations early on being bold is really really important You can also be initiated like taking that boldness

in all other areas of your relationship, like telling your partner what you want to, like what you like and bid, like what do you want to do? What do you like to do? What sex position does it feel, you know, feels the best? But like taking that boldness can work, like I said, not just in your business,

but it can really be helpful and beneficial in your personal life too. And I feel like you, again, get better with being bold in that area, but if you can't ask for that salad at the restaurant that you want or the sauce on the side, how are you going to get the confidence and the comfort level to ask for that stuff. So these are all building blocks. How are you going to dressed in on the side? And how you can ask for the salad in the restaurant

and not spaking the bedroom? Exactly. You've got to figure that out. And I feel like people are so nervous to ask for this stuff. Well, this is one of the big reasons why I want to just punctuate this boldness because after all these years, it hasn't changed. That the top question I get asked is,

how do I get my part or two, like Film the blank. It could be anything. It could be like take out the trash more, it could be go down or be more, it could be like talk to me about sex, it could be how do I get this thing in the bedroom. We are so terrified of asking for what we want when it comes to relationships and sex and dating that we we say mute, we don't say a word and we take what we can get. So we're from Actubus because we are so afraid of rejection and I'm going to say that it's even more loaded than the dressing on the sire of the salad because we're like, this person is going to think I'm a freak and sex is so taboo and da da da da da da.

What if I don't get it? So we just are silent. But just to your point, like then you end up with somebody who doesn't want the same thing you do sexually. They don't want to prioritize intimacy. Sex actually isn't important to them. Like have all these difficult conversations before you get really serious with someone,

but also have them throughout your relationship. Even if you were with someone for 20 years or two months, it doesn't matter, start having them now. You're going to build a muscle. You're going to get your needs met. And you can say it in a way that like, this is actually a really nervous them now. You're going to build a muscle. You're going to get your needs met. And you can say it in a way that like this is actually a really nervous right now. I'm practicing like this isn't to this podcast out being bold. I realize I'm not that bold, but what I've been dying to talk to you about is our sex life. And I realize that it's really

important to me that we have more that you initiate sex for the bedroom. I love you and I'm so attracted to you, but I feel like I've always been initiating. This is really hard to say, but could you initiate more? Like that's a conversation that people, we sit a podcast on initiating sex wildly popular podcast. Like so kids, how you done across the board, they much rather tell their partner, even like I wish you would go to the gym or why don't you make dinner or not, or why don't you take care of the kids, but the sex is just locked up in a box and they won't do it. So I want to know, I'm trying to encourage people to take what you're saying about boldness and apply it to the bedroom.

You could be super bold in one area of your life and be completely the opposite in all other areas, right? You could build your bold in lots of different areas. Yes, but your bold. Build that your bold in a lot of areas that you may need some help with. That's the first thing. I also think being super curious is a really great way

of getting to your bold. Like how I would approach it would be, I would do a little bit of trial and error first to see what we're dealing with. And then once I know that and feel like where we are, then I would pose a lot of questions. Okay. Like what do you think about this? Do you like this? Have you tried that? And I would be gauging a lot of it based on their responses. And that's how I I think that's how I would use my pool. I would be asking for what I want. I'm not saying like you're scurrying around the issue.

You're actually not. You're an information gatherer. So go into the curiosity information gathering part. Because that's brilliant. I think thank you. A big part of boldness is using that curiosity to information gather, right? Because I'm naturally a very curious person anyways.

So I will ask a lot of questions, but for people who are not naturally as curious as me, I think that that is another skill that they should be cultivating to become more bold, right? Because you could get a lot of information or you could assess the situation really well by kind of asking questions out of curiosity about that person in a way though that's very helpful for the two of you in the relationship. So let's apply it

to something that I'm gonna, like I said, a big part of it is I, and I think you said this how you are also, I never want to jump to a conclusion. So that's why I think the trial and error is really important. I like to assess my, to kind of like information gather on my own and before I start, you know, just just drilling with questions and questions and questions, although I have been known to do that too, but I do think that you, again, can start small by asking little, little questions, but you also have to be self-aware. And I think that if the more self-aware and the more cognizant of your partner and you and the dynamic, it really helps. If you have zero self-awareness, you're not going to be able to ask the right questions, right? So you have to know yourself what actually works for you, not like

not what you want, but what you need. I think want to need are so different and people don't talk about the difference Hmm. What would you say the difference is for example? It's like I really want my My partner to look like Chris Hensworth, right? But do I really need him to look that way? No, it does yet to be six four and I click no But if you you know to mean like that's not a real need But what I really need more than anything, my poor driver is I need somebody to be a good listener and who has the interest in like connecting

in an emotional way. That to me is my driver, 100,000%. And if your driver is, I like adventure, I'm gonna drown in a junky. I like lots of people around me and I wanna have lots of friends and keep it on the surface, probably not going to be my person. It won't work in a lot of other ways because how you do one thing is how you do everything.

And so if you do one thing a certain way, typically you're going to be doing the other things a certain way. So as couples forget to do the things that they love together, like so do the walks again. Or we start to talk about the most like I would say, like what are the three most memorable times you had sex and then we write it down and we exchange a list. And we say, okay, well, we both agree that it was that time that we were on vacation and the wind was blowing and you had a peanut clotted, whatever. Like there's a great sexual DNA in that answer. Like there's something in there that's a kernel of help, because that was hot, and we both agree.

What was in there? You were feeling great that day because the kids were worth a sitter, and I was feeling great because I just got that deal. Then we've also understand what turns us on. What, when do I feel most of my body? What aroused me? I mean, yeah, I mean, it is, what is it?

And it's totally dead, then like. No, but my question to you is really more, in your experience, what do you find happens? Do you think that most people implement some of this, these are great things that you're saying. And then like the astrologers are great. And I think that everything you're saying sounds, it sounds great.

I'm curious, do people actually implement it? And what is the success rate of it? I think that they have to be bold and find out, because most couples will wallow in bad sex, no sex, mediocre sex, even mediocre sex for the rest of their lives, because they don't want to have a bold conversation. They don't want to face it.

They're afraid of it. So I think that they're, it runs the gamut. Like, yes, there's couples where it's like tolling dead and they realize that they'll never get it back. But I think a lot of couples sort of have a resurrection. They realize that they need to talk about it and connect and they start to figure out their desires and arousal. They like start to watch porn together. They start to bite toys and they start to like fix their hormones or talk about fantasies. Like there's a million things you could do and that's like, like talking about

that's a tiny thing. That's a good point. There's a lot of things you do. I have them run through like therapy, their bodies, their hormone, their trauma, untreated. There's a lot of reasons why we don't, but I think that if you could get two willing partners who really have prioritizing their sex life and their relationship, I believe that most couples can figure out a way to get back to that if they both want to. Right. If someone doesn't want to, you just set it. If one person doesn't want to, what person doesn't want to, and the other person doesn't like, say goodbye for couples like this,

get a therapist, go to therapy. Like if you're not willing to go and stick to it for three months, once a week, then you're not really caring, but then you don't actually get to see it. So I think that's really the big, the big thing. Like does the person do they actually care? But I also really think that this is just like for my, like just

from like being like a lay person in the world, I think there's so many other factors and variables that play in that make it difficult, right? Not to have that bold conversation, but it's the, I think the problem is in the follow-through and in the fact that once you don't have it, you're like you said. Just have it, so. I was going to ask you. I was going to say it. This is going to save you.

It's hard to bring it back, but the only way I think that people can actually do it is actually applying the same methodology is practicing it again. Sometimes you can talk too much about it and just start doing it again. Like sometimes you could talk too much about it and just start doing it again. Like get that pilot back on by keep on trying and trying and trying and maybe eventually it becomes part of your daily ritual again. Yeah, it will.

And like you can talk it to death, that can ruin it. So like at the end of the day, if you're not having sex with somebody, you're losing that intimacy. It has like a whole rabbit whole effect of all these other shooting things that will happen in the relationship. So if you could just like start doing it, like don't think about it. Sex begins, just start doing it again, like again, like going to the gym.

Just go, put it in your shoes and just go. And it may be really hard the first time and it may be really hard to get through it and Eventually you're gonna get through it and it'll be fine and then the second time you do it and you go at the gym It gets a little bit better and a little bit better a little more comfortable and eventually Maybe it becomes part of your rhythm and you become a gym rat again, you know Yeah, but it's true, it's true, it's true This is where I recommend all the time to make it a priority This is how you build a habit.

There's so much noise in all around all of this. How you actually build a habit is actually doing the thing that you want to do and then doing it over and over and over again. It's super simple. So what we're saying is do that with intimacy. Yeah, and it may not be very romantic. It may not feel really great at first. Eventually you'll get more comfortable with it

The only way to get you to your endpoint is to actually do it Jenn, I'm gonna ask you the five questions a quickie questions. We ask all of our guests ready What is your biggest turn on? Hmm, I love smart people biggest turn off Stupid people what makes good sex smart people. Biggest turn off. Stupid people. What makes good sex? Being emotionally connected to somebody. Something you tell your younger self about sex and relationships. To ask for what you want. What's the number one thing you wish everyone knew about sex? The more you know someone, the more you like the person, the better the sex will be. I love it. Thank you so much.

I love you. Jennifer Cohen, how can people find you? Your book? All the things. Oh, the book they can, my book is on pre-order now. It's called Bigger Better Bolder. You already set it. And you can find my Instagram at the Real Gen Cohen. And, or my website. I'm doing a 30 day, well, actually good at my website.

You can see for yourself. Oh, I love it. Yeah. Okay, thanks for being here. Thank you so much. Oh, it gets in. That's it for today's episode. See you on Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Be sure to like, subscribe and give us a review wherever you listen to the podcast and share this with a friend or partner. You can find me on YouTube, subscribe, and give us a review wherever you listen to the podcast and share this with a friend or partner. You can find me on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter at Sex with Emily.

Oh, I've been told I give really good email. So sign up at sexwithemily.com and while you're there, check out my free guides and articles for more ways to prioritize your pleasure. If you'd like to ask me about your sex life, dating, or relationship, call my hotline 559 Talk Sex. That's 559-825-5739. Go to sexwithemily.com slash Ask Emily. Special thanks to A-Cast for powering the Sex with Emily podcast.

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