Sex With Emily - Breast Obsessed: Moves to Make Her Moan

Episode Date: February 22, 2017

Breasts: They’re beautiful, mesmerizing, and come in all kinds of wonderful shapes and sizes. Although it seems like men are obsessed with them, you’d be surprised how many completely ignore their existence when it comes to getting it on. On today’s show, Emily is doling out some hot boob tips and facts to make sure they’re never forgotten again, along with giving her insight on some of your most titillating sex and relationship inquiries! Wondering how to make HIS orgasms more explosive? How do you take handjobs out of the equation when you’re not a fan? What’s the best way to introduce lube to a current partner? Emily hits all of these subjects, and reveals the biggest turn ons and turn offs for single men and women. Want to know how to really get your a potential partner's juices flowing? Tune in to find out! Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep this podcast FREE: Vibratex, Sportsheets, FT Toys, Promescent and System JO! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and today's show I'm getting in your hottest sex questions. Is there a trick to making his or it has a more explosive? What to do if you're not a hand job fan? How do you introduce Loub to a tentative partner plus what to do if you're feeling like giving up on dating? All this and more, thanks for listening. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.

Betrubized, they call them in a fight on day. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, not only? What do you mean, like laundry?

It shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so so grown. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know Emily's not You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemlead.com where you can easily subscribe to the podcast. We release the one on Tuesday and one on Friday. And then you'll never miss a show again. They go right into your wherever you subscribe.

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Facebook live. God, we do it all. We love it. And I love you all. So thanks so much for all your great emails and being in touch. And okay, so it's just me here today. It just me and you. And we're chatting. And I thought, okay, what, so it's just me here today. It's just me and you and we're chatting.

And I thought, okay, what I wanna talk to you about today. And I've been thinking lately a lot about boobs as I'm sure you have been. So I'm talking about guys here. I'm talking to guys and girls here. This might be something that women you might wanna share with your partner, but if you're a guy with a pulse,

I know that you probably think a lot about boobs. I mean, I was raised to think I'm like, oh, boobs, that's kind of the first thing we even know as kids. And I know a lot of young boy, I'm talking about my eight-year-old god, someone was like googling on his daddy's phone, like women with boobs.

I think that's the first sign of sexuality that you notice. And I know that there's a lot of knowledge you can probably glean from straight life experience about boobs, right? Breasts. I had hard times producing medicine. Like can I keep saying boobs? I was taught in radio when I was first starting

like on FCC, they're like you can't say you have to say breasts. But anyway, you learned a lot, you know, from porn and all that, but no matter how many times, you know, you've actually been faced a face with breasts, all that. Those are different understanding when you actually have breasts with you 24-7, like women do. But that's fine.

I'm sure you're doing the best you can. There's no worries. You don't know what you don't know about boobs, but I decided that I would illuminate you on some points that you might be missing out on this beloved body part. Because stimulating omen's breasts are probably the best way to ignite her rouse. So a lot of you email me like, how do I turn her on or, you know, why she not turned on or what do I do?

Because when you get when you when you start playing with the omen's breasts So I'm going to give you some tips now about the breasts that you might not have known interesting facts and how to Touch them and tease them and all that. But what happens is when you when she gets aroused Her breast will swell, she'll get sensitive to touch. It's also like directly like related to a clearer. So it is a great place to start and definitely don't jump over it. We're going to get to that as well. So before you go diving into breast, here's some things that you should know, okay? Here's my first point. Breasts need love. I've been kind of amazed by this.

How many even like grown up men, they like skip right over the breasts and go straight for your vagina, go straight for your pants. And I'm always surprised. And I have to say it's like we're making out, might be the first time we're together. And you just maybe you've lightly touched them

over my shirt and you go right for the pants. And I've been saying this for 12 years, just don't. Like just, it's okay if you've been with them for a while, but I think if you're just starting to know someone, it's like, we know you saw our breasts, we know you like our breasts, so why are you skipping over them? I'll give you the benefit of the doubt,

because maybe you do that because you're just so turned on and so excited and you're looking forward to this X, or maybe they're confusing to you, and you're like, oh, you wanna get into the breasts, they were nice to look at, but I don't know what to do, but don't skip over them, you guys, because they are serious, erogenous zones, okay? So that's my first point, just give them some love.

The other thing is, fondling them is not an instant turn on, okay? I get it. You might get turned on like if a girl grabs your penis, we're so different, you guys. So like, girl grabs your penis, we're so different. You guys so like, should grab your penis, you're like, I'm ready to go. But you grab our boobs, we're going to turn our mark on the door sometimes. It can be painful. It does not have that instant turn on effect.

It's not like, oops, there she is. She's ready to go. I like, you know, I swiped my hand across her left nipple and now she's about my penis and every giant. It doesn't work like that at all. Now, I'm also saying not every woman, I've said you not every woman likes her breast touch. So, you might be off the hook there. And just like all guys who like their balls touch, you might not like your finger in your ass. That's cool. And so women don't like it. But how are you to know? How are you to know if she likes it? You can pretty much tell.

You can pretty much tell if you start touching or she might even say, oh, my breasts are really sensitive. A lot of times, you'll have a larger breasts, don't they don't like their breasts touch? Maybe you weren't touching it in the right way. So you have to gather more information, okay? So you always want to start off slowing and touching them.

You don't want to like, and I'm again, to the specific tips in a minute. But just know that, you know, it's not an instant turn on just to start touching them. Like if you just like grab them hard right away, if you like walk in the room, grab a breast, and then you start pulling your pants off, you're like, well, she's turned on, I touch her breast,

it doesn't work the way your penis does, okay? Remember that. Here, so here's some tips you guys, teasing. Teasing the breasts is a total turn on. And it's a, you know, again, for the women that we are, just turned, likes her breasts and her nipples touch. So here's some tips. Don't always go right for the nipples,

because there's definitely more to the breasts than the nipples. I get it, they're there, they're in the middle. You're like, I guess we just learn about the nipples, we think like that. Just like the clitoris isn't the only magic with the with the vulva the the nipples are not the only magic with the breasts. So you want to warm up the breast because the nipples are just a half of the equation. So what you can do is you can like hop her so again you always want to start slow and it feels really good just

like hop her breasts in your hands like massage each side like lightly like with your fingers like with gentle touches you can like take your thumb rubbing along the side of your breasts you can place like your palm like the flat side of your palm like over her nipples like an aerolas around the nipples like perform a circular massage and again the fingers and the thumbs around the curves and the bottom of her breast like where they where they where they sloped down that feels really good and also we had a bronle like where they, where they, where they slope down, that feels really good. And also, we had a bra on all day.

I can't tell you how good just to get like a light breast massage. It feels so good. There's nothing like taking off that bra and like having someone just like a massage or a breast. Remember, you don't, please don't grab them. Don't need them. Don't twist them. Don't tweak them like a horn.

Like I don't even know if guys do that for real. Okay, I hope that you don't. I hope you just like think that's like some kind of cartoon. I think that's where we all learned it or something. Like, who does that? It's like comedy from like the 70 or something. So again, just think about like going slow around them, caressing them gently, fingers, hands, palms.

And then you can go move into the nipples. Also remember this, you guys, not all women are really in turn nipples being sucked on. There's someone who say like it does nothing for them. So maybe they say, again, I know women, like I would say the vagina is the ribos cube of life, like her breasts are not that easy either because every single breast is like a snowflake.

They are all different. So for some of them, they're like, nipples, nothing does nothing for me. But maybe her breasts do or maybe like she likes the nipples only, but she's too ticklish when you touch the side of her breasts. So again, when you're doing this, the first time you're encountering a new pair of breasts out of different partner, you want to go slow, you want to see how she responds. And by going slow, you'll, you'll, you'll be able to notice like is her breath quickening is she moving towards you?

Is she moving away from you and she might push her hand away and that could just because maybe you touched her like it was too hard or too quick So you might ask her like does this feel good or do like having your breath like can I touch your your breasts are beautiful Do you mind if I like how does this feel and she might say oh, I don't like it or she might say just slow down You know hopefully I think that a lot of women listen to this show. They're more in power. They're going to tell you what they like. If you are listening, you've never told a guy, believe me. God, I think like a lot of times they don't like asking for directions, but I think in this case, a lot of guys would appreciate it. So remember, again, no twisting or needing. Go slow. I missage them. Can now let's talk about nipple orgasms.

I'm still waiting for the elusive nipple orgasm. I've not had one yet. I came close. I've come close before. In fact, I think that was my resolution. I think it was during breast cancer month ones. I don't remember. There was something.

New years last year. New years last year, I was like, I'm going to have a nipple orgasm. So it didn't happen in 2016. I was busy with other things. But it told you, it's a real thing. It can happen. Again, not everyone can have one. But here's some things you might want to know about it and how it could happen. So combining clearal stimulation and nipple stimulation is the most effective way to achieve nipple orgasm because it kind of rewires the brain to associate nipple stimulation with feelings of orgasmic pleasure. Again, not every woman is going to feel this way, but that's just a way to associate it. So you're thinking

like if I'm playing with her nipples, she can associate it with our clitoris. So stimulation of the nipples activates the area of the brain known as the genital sensory cortex. Now you don't have to remember this term, but just know that this is the same brain area that's actually activated by stimulation, the cervix, the clearest, and the vagina, which means that a woman's brain seems to process nipple and genital stimulation in the same way, which is great news for you, right? It's the same sensors.

So touching those areas can really be a turn up for some woman If they've never really experienced like the right kind of nipple play they might like even though they are connected They haven't had that experience. So if you spend time with the breasts This could totally happen. You could give a nipple orgasm a killer one So like caressing tracing your fingers around the outer edges, you can like flick the nipples with your tongue, you can suck lightly, you can try stronger suction, gentle nipple, gentle nipple, like gentle nipple, nipple on the nipples, nipple on the nipples. I'm getting hungry saying that. Not that I want to nipple on nipples right

now, but just the word nibble annoys me, but it just made me really hungry. Okay, so you can also use nibble clamps. You're like, why would nibble clamps have to be really painful? But again, with a lot of these things, it's a buildup, right? So you wouldn't just start with a new pair of breast and joints, like pinching them. But for some women, it feels really great once they're turned on to pinch the nipples. So again, you wouldn't do that though until you were softly playing with them

and then you could do a light pinch and see how that feels. Now for someone that's like a huge turn on, they're like, oh my God, harder, harder, and then you might wanna go buy some nipple clamps. I have to talk about my favorite nipple clamps. I got this year from sport sheets. They came out with this midnight line and they sent us some bunch of really beautiful things

on this line and one of them was like, I wanna wear them as necklace. They have pearls on them. They have ones with little studs on them. They're really cool. So nipple clamps can be a fun little way to make a nipple orgasm happen. So you can use your mouth, your fingers,

trace around the ariola, the ariola surrounding the nipples. And you can also play with like, you don't have to like even Steven like I think some guys are like I just spent 35 seconds on the left breast and now I'm gonna spend 35 seconds on the right breast. I mean yeah like don't completely ignore one you know that would make us feel kind of awkward like you're like what happened to my right breast but don't be so inside your head about this but you can also intensify the sensation by teasing one nipple with your hand and while lip

n licking or sucking the other and then switch. So like, well, you're with one breast, play like sucking one, you could still play with the other one. So it's like not all hands on one breast, all hands on deck, all hands on one breast, it can like be roaming around her body. You can also be like playing with her breasts and also put your hand like down in our clitoris. You can be like massaging her all around. So like the breasts are like this wonderland. Like there is wonderland of pleasure and joy for so many women. And again, I I've experienced this. I want to say more times than not even

not even the guys that just skip over it. But I always say that kissing is the first thing that goes in long-term relationships. And I kind of feel like the breasts go next. I do. I feel like it's just the sex that happens. And I almost feel like what happened to, I do not see my breasts. They are still here. They didn't, like, what if I just stopped playing with your penis, okay?

And I was like, one to the balls. I mean, maybe you'd like that. But it's like, they're still there. They're still alive. They still feel really good. And they play a key part on a rousal for women. So remember this, you guys. I hope that you guys are all so psyched

to see your next pair of breasts. Here's my final words on breasts. We, a lot of women, we spend a lot of time, we spend a lot of money even, sometimes buying bras at fit and lingerie, pay attention. If I'm wearing something, a lot of times we wear it like for you, but also for ourselves, it feels like, you know, it's sexy and it makes us feel sexy and we're something that we

were wearing something that makes us feel good. So again, I was talking about slowing down, why aren't we like slow down? You don't have to even, you can touch her over her bra and like tell her how beautiful it is or how sexy she looks. Same thing goes for her underwear. Again, touching over it, the fabric feels really good and then complimenting her feels great too. Those are two great ways to do it. Touching over the fabric and just notice, we may never. So, you know, next time you're like grabbing and clawing

and trying to get it off, just take a moment, hail to the bra, get a little appreciation, bow down to the bra and the breasts. So, there's your little boob knowledge. Let me know if I missed anything or if you've any tips for boob sensations. E-Mommy, feedback at sexwithelmy.com. Okay, we're going to give shout out to our sponsors.

Thank you, everyone, for supporting them. I love them. I've tried everything. Everything that I'm talking about here, you guys, I would never, ever talk about a product that I don't use, love, own, and really appreciate. So thanks everyone for supporting our sponsors. I'll be right back. I'm gonna be right back.

I'm gonna be right back. I'm gonna be right back. I'm gonna be right back. I'm gonna be right back. We've got some sex in the news. Okay, single men and women reveal their biggest turn-ons and turn-offs. God, I biggest turn-ons and turn-offs. God, I love turn-ons and turn-offs.

I remember when I first started my show, it was like my, I used to do a call and, why I started the podcast and I had a call and show. And on the days where I was just like, at the beginning, I was like, can we do a turn-on and turn-off show again? Can we do like red flags? I just, I don't know, I just love hearing what? Because it's also different, right? So here's a study that came out.

Match.com every year, they do a survey. Usually comes out in February. And they interview a lot of people, and it's totally legit. I love these people here, Dr. Helen Fisher. She's a part of it. So here's what they found for your turn-ons and turn-offs. They surveyed 5,500 single men and women for their annual singles in America study.

And they found that 22% of millennials think technology has made it more difficult to find love. I think that we all think that. There's some things you should never say in a first date and never ask after sex, but today singles seem to be even pickier. Take it out of the town, keep your phone at home. Because 75% of singles admit that answering your phone

on a first date is a major turn off, which surprises me because I feel like people don't even, the phone, like no one even answers the phone anymore. But 86% of women say they're more likely to judge, judge, judge, okay, this is a bit of funny, okay. 86% of women said they're more likely to negatively judge you for having a cracked phone screen for guys.

But I think guys are always like, oh, every girl I know has her screen cracked. So to me, that's kind of sexist. But I don't think I would judge a guy. I just actually usually am surprised for some reason because I feel like guys are just, I don't know, they're a bunch of all that I'm going to get that fixed. But I found that really interesting. Okay, so there's a little infographic here. I'm just going to read you some of the stats. We can also put this in our site. I think it really interesting. Okay, so there's a little infographic here. I'm just going to read you some of the stats.

We can also put this in our site. I think it's interesting study. Okay, this is the single in America study. 57% of millennials are lonely, but they're 30% more likely to have a first date lead to a second. 66% of singles are turned off by texting on the first date. 38% of men agree that female entrepreneurs are their number one turn on.

That I love. I love these guys. Where are you? I'm a female entrepreneur. Hi. Okay. This is a big one. Millennials are 270% more likely to think it's hot

if you're binge watching the same TV shows. I guess that makes sense because then you have a lot to talk about. You can bend, you can like Netflix and chill. It's like a pre-qualified Netflix chill, you know, such happening. Your three times more likely to have sex if you talk to your Uber driver about your love life. Now I'm assuming that it's well your partners in the car, this person's in the car that you're dating or just because how would I find that? I don't understand that like with your Uber driver or like your partner's there and you're like

yeah so we had hot sex last night and you're sharing your sex with your Uber driver I don't understand that one. 42% of singles will judge you based on the quality of your social media pictures. That doesn't surprise me. It kind of bums me out because I just, you can't avoid it, but I know that I'm for sure Google before every day I go on. And it's just like me, myself, and a bunch of sex toys on my thing. But that's made my life, I guess. But again, we all know that there's lots of filters going on.

A lot of things going on social media, it's not really the person in real life, but you're gonna be judged. But I guess we all know that more putting this out there, we're putting ourselves out there. 58% of singles admit that openly complaining on Facebook is a major turn off. That is not a surprise, I think,

openly complaining in life is a major turn off. Okay, so just complaining, you guys, check yourself, no one wants to hear it. And I found myself doing the two sometimes, really do you really wanna hear like, what a bad day someone had or how much they hate their boss? Or, you know, it's just, I get it, we all have rough days and stuff,

but just if you can, just check it. Better talk about things that are just positive or neutral than just complaining. It's just a drag. Okay, 90% of both women and men agree that one night stands are the worst sex. That doesn't surprise me either. A lot of women just, you know, we might do it,

and it's fun, but for Ann Men, like we just, especially women, we need to feel safe. We want to feel like a place, especially if orgasms were not, I mean, there's been so many studies that showed that women typically don't have orgasms, not that it's all about the orgasms,

but especially on a one-night stand. Okay, Android users are 15 times more likely to judge someone negatively for having an iPhone, and iPhone users are 21% more likely to judge Android users negatively. I don't even notice, really. People, okay, 60% judgeee society. 64% of singles have the most success flirting at a bar,

but 43% have success at the laundromat and 42% meet people at the gym. I can see the bar thing. I don't like the gym. Like, don't talk to me when I'm working out. It's how I always feel. Laundromat. Yeah, your center-run watching things spin, why not? 86% of women will negatively judge a man for having a crack phone screen. I already said that one. That's just weird. Like, negatively, you'll never grow out with them again or just like point against him. But oh, we picked up the check. Now, I like them again. I don't know how much of that. They're not saying how much of this weighs on the scale if I give a shit. But okay, 87% of singles think take care of someone when they're sick is a major sign of commitment.

And which I agree with and when they don't take care of you very well, that's just like a huge turnoff time to leave. What's going to happen when you're really sick and dying? If you're going to marry this person, they weren't there when you're cold. They're not going to be there when you've cancer. Don't want to go so dark, but that happens. Millennials are 48% more likely to have sex with someone right away to see if there's a connection. Millennials are 48% more likely to have sex with someone right away to see if there's a connection. I guess so. I make me forget that in the studies that makes sense. But again, first time sex, first time you meet someone, you can thank you for connection because it's new, but it might not necessarily mean that sex is so,

you know, they're the right person, but that's what the study says here. 64% of women want more adventure in the bedroom. I love that. Go for it, you guys. This shows all about adventure. I hope you're all trying to have more adventure in the bedroom. I love that. Go for it, you guys. This shows all about adventure. I hope you're all trying to have more adventure in the bedroom. It's a pile of wireless in the show

because that is what I'm all about. Okay, we can move on to emails now. All right, thank you for emailing me. I love hearing from you. Just go to sexeselmy.com, click on the Ask Emily tab and boom, send your emails so easy and then click on the call. You want to be called box if you'd like to be called because we do call shows and I can

give you a ring and really get into your stuff. Also, leave me a voice mail, 828-ask-swe1. Okay. Hey, Emily, I'm a new listener to the podcast and I'm obsessed. I've been in a relationship for almost a year now with my boyfriend who is 27 while I am 23. Our relationship is almost a year now with my boyfriend who is 27 while I am 23. Our relationship is going great and the sex is amazing. I've always had a really high sex drive and I've always wanted her if there was something

off with me, but after listening to the show I can see I'm not alone. I have two questions. Question one. My relationship is currently long distance, only two hours away so we see each other every weekend. Long story short is such a thing as being too available for it. He knows I always want him but I just don't know if sometimes I should make him work for it a little more or should I just leave it alone because I think I could be overthinking

it. Question 2. Every time we have sex I have multiple orgasms. I can't see how there's a question about this because that's amazing. Okay. But when I'm having one, he will often touch me down there to make me the orgasm more intense and I love it. Is there anything I could do for him

that would help make his more intense? Thanks for all the great advice, Michaela age 23. Thanks, Michaela. I'm glad you're liking the show when I'm loving your questions here. Okay, let's get down to this. Number one, when you say work for it,

I'm not sure if you mean should you play hard to get, or you're saying like you want him to tease you longer when he shows up, like more for play, less in and out, or just like not be available for him every weekend. Because it seems to me, like things are going really well with you guys, you've got great chemistry, but I'm wondering if you're asking because he's pulling away. Maybe he's not always available and you feel like

you're the one always reaching out or you know, is he sending signs that's making you feel less safe or less desired because that's typically when that like part of our brain lights up that says, oh, I better pull back, retreat, retreat. When when a guy is not giving us those signals or women's doing that to a guy. So you probably need to dress that within the relationship because if I were you, I would not want to pass up a weekend of month orgasms, just play hard to get. So I would try to discern what this is about. If it's like your friends are telling you that you should play hard to get, or like there's a reason, you know, why you think that you shouldn't be so

available. And again, I'm not a game player, so I would just try to find out, you know, why you think that you shouldn't be so available. And again, I'm not a game player, so I would just try to find out, you know, talk to him if you think there's something going on. Okay. Number two, hats off for your multiple orgasms. I, um, I think that's amazing. You multiple orgasms. Love that. What are you? 23. Okay. So, and I like this too, because it's such a female thing that like you're like, oh my god, I'm having multiple orgasms. They feel so good and like, now I want to make his better, which I adore. So like we want pleasure and when everyone else feels pleasure. So there's always ways to make his orgasms better, more varied, more intense, pleasurable,

all that. So you could try like teasing him, like edging, like maybe not, like I would say, you know, women like the teasing, some guys like it too. So you could start like teasing him, like edging, like maybe not, like I would say, you know, women like the teasing, some guys like it too, so you could start like, you know, going down on him and then like pulling back, like when you're having sex, you could like, you know, you could, you could play, I guess, okay, you're probably talking about how to make his orgasms intense when you're having sex with him.

So for a lot of guys, when you, when I was saying, when you click, when you click on his prennium, perennium, click on it. You don't wanna click on it, his taint, you know? So perennium between his anus and his penis, sometimes if you just put your thumb there and you place pressure on it, that can really intensify his orgasm. If you've not ventured into his ball land,

and he's played with his balls, that could feel really good. You could talk dirty, have you done any like, I'm coming or tell him how hot he is or like whisper in his ear. That can be a great turn on, not only because the ears are like such a rodent of zones, but like the words like your like warm breath in his ears can feel great. You can also do your kegels.

Hopefully you've been keeping up with your kegels. If you've been listening to the show, squeezing them. When he's about to orgasm, that can feel amazing for guys. Believe me, they can tell, even if you haven't been doing your kegels, you can squeeze those, they feel great. I'm not sure what you've tried,

but there are endless ways I think you can intensify it because a lot about intensity, I think it's been something's different or surprising or varied. Because it's actually, if you're having a lot of sex and doing it the same way every time, just a little something off the beaten path that you haven't done doesn't have to be all these things at once.

It could feel great also a vibrator. Using a cock ring is a great couple of toys to start with. You know, there's so many of you put around his penis, stretchy like silicone vibrator that also has a, a silicone, it's a cock ring that goes on its penis, but it also has a vibrator that hits your clitoris. So, believe me, men love the, many men love the vibrations on their shaft. It feels amazing. And, you know, your clitoris will just, you'll have like 16 orgasms knowing you.

And that can feel great. So, like, play with toys. And yeah, and then also, I know that it's long distance. So it might be fun to like play with some of this during like FaceTime sex or Skype sex. I'm assuming you guys are doing that or you could bring that into the relationship because you could kind of like sometimes that's a great way Like you're not necessarily in the same room. It could be a fun time to like explore, ask them what his fantasies are. You could also do mutual masturbation that way and you could watch how he touches himself because maybe he does something with his penis right before he comes that you didn't know that he really enjoys so it's a good teachable moment. Also you can ask about his fantasy, see

what turns him on so that's about six things. I think you got a good you know good month and a half of seeing him of different things to try there. So let me know how it goes, Michaela. Thank you for emailing me. Okay, next email, we've got Carl. Family, my name's Carl. I'm 27 years old. I have a girlfriend of five years, and we've lived together for three of those years. We have sex just about every day, and it's great.

The only problem is when she tries to initiate by giving me a hand job. I've heard your hand slash blowjob debate with men and stuff before, but my question is this, how do I switch heard your hand slash blow job debate with men's before but my question is this, how do I switch to a good old blow job or even mutual masturbation without hurting your feelings, I would appreciate any advice. Thanks. Okay, this is a great question. God, that hasn't come up in a while. The old Emily and men's hand job blow job debate. I kind of thought you put it to rest but it it doesn't even matter what it is.

But I've always said that a hand job is kind of nice everyone's well. Like if you always give a blow job, give a hand job. I'm not saying in exclusion to giving a blow job, but, you know, with some lube on your hand, using both hands, it just feels great, right? It's a little different thing. But let's get back to your question of hand. I understand what you're saying. A dry hand on the penis, just like a dry hand on the clitoris does not feel good at all. So maybe

that's just, I don't know. I mean, I guess it's just like touching it through your pants and maybe like if she's just continuing to give it a dry hand job, like, out. So I would definitely have lube by your bed. But I'm wondering, does she ever go down on you? I'm wondering if this is a lack of a no blow zone. Because I'm thinking, if you're just talking about occasionally she does the hand thing and you want to completely eradicate from her entire repertoire, or you just want her to just not start with the hand job of every time. So does she ever go down on you, if not, that's definitely a conversation you have to have? Do you go down on you if not that's definitely a conversation you have to have? Do you go down on her?

Remember, you can't be like saying, like, where's my blowdub if you haven't gone down on her. So perhaps you could start by going down on her and see if she reciprocates. And after five years together, I really think you can say to her, like, it feels so good to have your mouth on me right now. I've been thinking about your mouth around my cock all day. I think you gotta bring it up to her. And if it's not feeling good, you could, again,

I think like a great way to turn a bad blow job into an amazing one is adding Lou. Like I just think it, and even when you're touching her, like if she's not wet, better than like licking your finger, few drops of Lou, can pretty much solve a lot of sexual arousal challenges and just issues with dryness and all that. So I appreciate you to whatever your feelings.

You're having sex every single day. Does that mean that you're getting a hand job every single day? Like it seems to me like this should be something that you could easily sort out and just tell her that again, listen, I don't know, she listened to podcasts, but a lot of couples you might want her to listen to this episode which I totally get but a lot of couples listen to this show together and they have found that it really enhances their sex life because I know that sex is hard to talk about I know that like my dream is for everybody I have a lot of dreams I

always say like my dream is a new one every night I say but my dream also is for you know everyone to get a little more comfortable or comfortable talking about sex and what they want. So you can say, I was in this podcast and I love our sex together. I would never want you to think if I make suggestions or I talk about fun, exciting things we could do together that in any way means that I'm not happy or I'm not satisfied. In fact, I'm so satisfied with you and I love our sex life. It's so great that I just can think of all these great ways

that we can turn each other on. And so, you could say to her like, God, that would feel great to get a little job from you or to place something different, do something different, but also ask her. Like, there might be some things that she wants. I'm sure after five years, she probably has some ideas as well.

And if she doesn't, this is what it's great to do. The bucket list, watch the porn together, come up, go sex to waste shopping, come up with some ways that you guys can generate some new, add something to your sexual bag of tricks here. Okay, so good luck with that one. We got an email, we got a voice mail next. These are fun you guys.

I love when you leave me voice mail. I just gave you the number. It's also on our website. Super fun. Love it. Hi, Emily. I am 30 and I live in Portland, Oregon. And I just have a question. So I have been seeing this guy for about five months and I consider him best sex I've ever had by far. It's really, really great and I'm super into the sexual side of our relationship in particular. But lately, maybe the last three weeks, I just, I haven't been able to get wet hardly at all. Where when we first, for the first few months, that was one of the things

you left the most I was getting very, very wet. And I don't know, like maybe some things changed for me and I got an IUD recently and, you know, maybe I'm a little bored. I don't, I'm not really bored, but I don't know. Anyways, I just kind of want to know, is this normal? Is it a big deal? It's really, really bothering him, and he seems to think that it's a big issue, and that it means that I'm not turned on as all of that.

And I am. I still really enjoy our sexual relationship. Anyways, this is really coming between us, and I told them we just need to use Lube and no big deal, but you seem to think it is. Anyways, I just wanna hear your thoughts and yeah, what you think about this, and if you have any suggestions or anything that you wanna tell him, that would be great.

Thanks. Oh, I love this question. Oh God, thank you so much, Lola. Lola, thank you for calling. Thank you for that articulate question. I am so excited because I am about to blow your mind right now. Ready?

Okay? Wait for it. Wait for it. A women's wetness level, her natural lubrication is not an indication of how turned on she is. Okay? Let me say it again. If a woman is wet or she's not wet, it doesn't

mean it is not an indicator of how turned on she is or if she's turned on. So I think this is one of these huge like misinformation like myths like things that we don't learn we believe to be true. That like if she's wet, she's turned on. If she's not wet, you know, men feel like very like they're doing. So This is why I talk about Lou while the time because guys assume if she's not wet that there's something wrong with them and then you gotta bring in Lou because I didn't turn her on and it's just this vicious cycle

and it's so misinformed and it is absolutely not true. So Lola, you said you got an ID, that could be your BITs as it caused less dryness, but the truth is you just started it. So maybe you are having some side effects. There are so many things that that can cause vaginal dryness or allow a woman not to get to go get wet. Okay, so what of that few of them are smoking and drinking the more you drink, you might have always been drinking, but now if you're like drinking more or, you know,

whatever, like you might have you wet. Different times of month, you know, maybe closer to your period, you're not going to be wet or you'll be really wet. It changes for like our bodies change all the time. Definitely like childbirth, nursing won't be as wet. Emotional stress. Like if you've been at low, if you've been at some stress lately, maybe you just can't become a rower, because your brain just can't get on board with the sex. Medications. Anahistamins, which are generally found like allergy, cold medications, antidepressants, asthma, medicines.

I mean, there are so many things, you know, drink a lot of coffee. I mean, if you are dehydrated, you, because you would dry. So like, always drink lots of water. Like, water will help with everything. It is true. I'm not saying that you're going to be gushing, but it's always a good idea. And if your body is dehydrated, you won't be as wet.

So those are awesome. The causes of it, low, okay? Just to, just to let you know that it really, but doesn't mean anything, you know, it doesn't have to mean anything and I understand these things at set. And I really hope that he understands that, Loub and I hope you all understand that Loub

just makes sex better. I'm at the point where I get wet sometimes sometimes I don't and I've used Loub for years now since I started doing my show and I was like, holy shit, I'd never used Loub for. Like, where have you been my whole life? That I, you just add a few drops. Like I'm telling you, Lola,

the next time you guys are together, just like three drops of lube on your clitoris. I'm not telling you like you need to dump a bottle of it. It'll, he'll be able to rub you in your clitoris. You'll start to get aroused like you put on your labia. And once he's out to touch you and you're not dry, it could naturally for a lot of women. It, that will allow you to be turned on, but you

have a few drops of lube and then you will get wet. So sometimes it just doesn't happen. I mean, you're having great sex. It's only been five months. It doesn't sound like you guys are in problems or you treat it or there's issues. I mean, really, it's just, you know, you're just not getting wet right now. And maybe next week you are, or maybe by the time I'm reading this, you know, you are. It just changed a different time in our lives. And I just say like, why even like, even if you're already wet, because here's a thing,

whenever I tell you about lub, they're like, no, we don't need that. We don't have that problem. I just, if I do anything, like, on my tombstone, you can say like she brought lub to the masses, you know, I would be so happy. Because I even think, even if you get wet, add lub. Just use lub, like you're putting in a condom, you put on loop. Even if you don't use condoms, use loop. I can't even have sex with our, like I, I, I just feel like I said that gets great on the nipples, few drops. So I just, he should listen to this little like, because I, I really feel like I tell guys like that. I tell, I'll tell

guys that and like, yeah, but still, that's not what we learned. You know, and I give it a guys be like, you know, I get annoyed because I know more like, I want you to be wet. I want you to be wet. So even when a guy says that, it's so annoying little. So he's probably saying to you like, baby, I want you to get wet. And then that could, even him saying that could make you not wet. You know what I'm saying? That could be like the biggest buzzkill. And now that it's happened a few times, you might be so inside of your head thinking, I hope I get wet, I hope I get wet. It's not making you wet.

So what kind of thing you've started this whole cycle here, perhaps? I don't think there's anything wrong with you. You might have listened to me list all those things and you're like, no, I'm not on an impressive, I'm not this or that, but I think that just by the fact that it happened a few times, it could become an issue.

So again, grab some lube. I love Jolube. Jolube is my favorite. Go to my website. I have a store now, you guys on my site. And now I've had it for like a year, but I don't know how long we had it nine months. But check out the store because Joe Lube makes

just like really fun lubs. They make like, they're, they make their, gelato lube line, they make their organic, they're a got pay line. There's a lube for every occasion. So really tell them to get over it. Tell them to open his mind. He's a great lover. He's a stallion. Tell them how he is. Tell them how big his penis is and use some loop.

Lola. Lola. Do that. Let me know how it goes. Okay, we have time for one more. All right. Hey Emily. So I've been single for approximately a year now after my ex and I ended a two year relationship. When I've been single for approximately a year now after my ex and I ended a two-year relationship. When I've been single before, I've never had too much trouble finding and meeting girls to casually date or be friends with benefits with. But over the last year, I've only had sex once and just didn't entirely enjoy it or have interest in pursuing things further.

I think my problem is, I don't currently have much interest in dating, even casually, while I pursue other interests in my life. I know I'm still young, but this worries me because I want to have kids in a family someday, even if it's way down the road. Any advice I'm finding the interest in dating and sex again? Thanks, Steven, age 24. Okay, Steven, you're in early 20s. I don't know where you're at right now.

I don't think that you have to cave in to any societal pressure to date. Like I understand that you're thinking ahead and like I wanna get married and I wanna have kids, but I actually think this is a great time for you to explore being single and you're saying you're pursuing other interests in your life and believe me when you have kids and you're in a relationship,

you won't have this time to figure out what you want, how you wanna spend your time. I think that it's great that you're in a relationship, you won't have this time to figure out what you want, how you want to spend your time. I think that it's great that you're honoring what actually feels right to you. So you wanted to your relationship. You know, maybe there was a painful breakup. I think that you're just trying to say, yeah, to your relationship. I mean, that's a long time.

You're with her for like 21, 23. I think that like, it's okay. Like you'll be out, you'll meet someone, just keep doing what you're doing. I just think that you're like creating some kind of like worry and anxiety that doesn't need to be there. And I think actually when you're single,

you can really find out a lot about yourself. And I think a lot of people just constantly feel that they have to be in relationships and they swing from one to the next to the next and they never ever take time to be alone and figure out who they are without a partner in their life and I know I did that for a really long time and I kept saying, oh I've got to be single and I'd meet someone because it feels much better sometimes to have someone to not have someone it's kind of natural but it's kind of as hard to be alone but that's when we do the really important work and the growth.

So I wouldn't trip on the fact that you don't have interest in dating now because I believe me, like it will come back when you're ready, but I like that you're not forcing it, and you're hanging out with friends, and you're doing what you love, and typically when we're not looking to date, and we're not looking for someone,

and we're doing something we love, and we're engaging activities that make us feel good about ourselves is when we actually meet somebody. So yes you will find interesting dating sex again. It just might not be tomorrow, but it's gonna happen. Thank you Steven and thank you everybody. These are amazing questions and thank you for listening to the show. I love you all. Thanks to my amazing team. Thank you Madison and Jamie. Thank you Michael here on the sound. Thank you Eddie. Thank you Ken and Lori. Love you all. Thanks for listening. Was it good for you?

Email me. Feedback at sexwithme.com. you