Sex With Emily - CamGirls, Exes & Sex Tips From Spiders

Episode Date: March 7, 2015

In this podcast, Emily and Menace answer your top sex and relationship questions and tackle some current events in the world of sex. Today’s email topics include open relationships, bondage, communication with the Ex and yet another question (or two) on anal play! Also, from public indecency to Penthouse star, Emily and Menace discuss Kendra Sunderland and the rising trend of college webcam girls. Is camming the new American dream? Plus, a firsthand lesson in Sexting With Emily and a story of how oral sex is saving lives..Whether you’re hoping to spice your sex life up with something new, trying to please the one you love or just trying to pay your way through college, this podcast has the tips you need! Don’t miss it.. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, we're going to be answering some of your most pressing questions. We're talking about open relationships, X's, anal play, and the rising trend of webcam girls and so much more. Thanks so much for listening to the show. And also, thank you for supporting our sponsors. So I make these killer massage candles. And you've probably heard me talk about them for probably the last year since we launched them and

They're kind of amazing. I just have to say that people who buy them and experience them. They aren't experienced They're gonna blow your mind because they're a Roma therapy. They smell amazing. They look like regular candles You can just light them around the house. You want to relax. However, you light them, you blow them out, and it turns into the most luxurious massage oil that you can pour onto your partner. It's warm, it's moisturizing, it is not messy or hot. You're not dripping out wax, you're not gonna burn them. It's just like the best massage they've ever had,

and it loobs you up for action, because it feels so lubyoby and good, right? Man, that's the candles. Of course it does. Do you love them? Yeah, you gave me some last time we hung out. Yep. And I gave my co-workers a couple of them and they've loved them.

Yeah, you forgot, your whole house smells good. And if you just leave it out of the box and we have coconut and vanilla and fujer and they're just amazing and it looks like a regular candle, like I said, turns into misog oil and you would, they're great gifts, you'd love them and they will be the one thing that will spice up your relationship and it's easy because it's just sitting there and you do it and you don't have to go out and buy anything crazy or learn a new sex position.

Just improve your sex life. Emily and Tony.com and use coupon code sexwithemily and you get 20% off your first order. That's Emily and Tony.com. Thank you so much for supporting the show and these amazing candles. A man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a bygone way. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend?

Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh, my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink?

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my god. I want to feel a sound girl. Being bad feels me? Oh my God, I feel so proud. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between.

For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts. You can actually easily subscribe on iTunes. You can download an app for your smartphone, any phone, and listen to podcasts, which is I think how most people are doing it these days. You can download the podcast one app, stitch your app. There's even a podcast app that in iTunes, you can download and just subscribe. And then you never miss a show again.

We got two shows a week, which is a lot and awesome and won't prove your sex life. Also, when you go to my website, sign up for the mailing list. Check it out, send good emails once a week. I will not spam you. I will not give everyone your name. I will just make sure that you've better sex

because I give you really good information that will change your life. So thank you everyone for for listening and I'm here with menace today. Hello. Hello. How are you doing today? I'm good I'm really excited You're assistant always thinks that I'm like staring at her when we're recording But when you start talking I always look over to see how loud the recording is right so just you are so anal about sound Which I know I'm very anal about sound. I want to make sure the show sounds good every single time. And when it doesn't and there's nothing I can do about it, I get really. He loses his mind. It's

true. And you've always been like that since day one. Yes. For the last 10 years, which I appreciate. And so I want to say to you, man, that's that I've got some great news. I just found out today that sex with Emily was voted for a podcast award. Which is major. We have not been voted before. We have not been nominated before. These, it's podcastawards.com, we're in the mature category because we are so mature. And so I would love, if all of you would support us and vote.

The best part is you can vote every single day, once a day, podcastawards.com, and starting March 3rd until I'm not sure when they close it, but once a day, just put in your bookmark and go and say, I love these guys. They helped me with my sex life. They helped my relationship. I'll vote for them, no big.

Tell your friends, We'd appreciate it. We'd love to win. And I'm actually hosting the podcast awards with Dennis Miller. So I feel like if I lose guys, what a bummer. Yeah, that sucks. That's a freaking bus kill. Oh, hi, other loser show. No, just kidding.

They're all great shows, but ours is the best. So thank you guys for supporting us. And I'm really excited. And minus the reason why I thought about sound is, because Madison, my sister here was reading about like how they decide how they pick the nominees and sound quality is a huge factor. Wow. So I want you just to feel good that you're in on this

around our sound has nominated us for an award. Wow, that's huge, thank you. Yeah, thank you. And you know, not to make everyone feel bad. All right. But we do, you know, put a lot of effort into this shell. And you can please just type into your browser right now. We'll wait podcast awards.com, go to mature and then just vote for us. Right. Exactly. And it's not that hard. No, once day, send to your friends, if you listen, it's like the easiest thing

you know, you're already on Facebook right now anyway. So switch over from Facebook, take you do seconds of vote and go back to Facebook. What do we care? Thank you. Thank you guys. We appreciate it. We don't ask you for much. We really don't. I'm going to ask you for one more thing though. Our survey on our website, it's up now. It's really easy to find those big pink buttons that says survey, take you two minutes. And if you like the show, we just want to make it 10 times better. So do that. And one more thing.

I know we'd never ask you for things, but this is actually something that's really fun for you. If you live in Los Angeles area or you'd like to come, Friday, March 13th, we're having a stake and BJ day event. And it might be the first time that it's ever had a formal event that I know of. And men as I think first brought it to my attention a few years ago, which is the actual holiday stake

in BJ created by men, for men. It's official. I mean, I don't think hallmarks behind it yet. But it's exactly a month after Valentine's Day. So it's officially March 14th. And it's holiday, I guess you're supposed to, barbecue, barbecue mistake, grill mistake, and give a blowjob.

Yeah, barbecue. Barbecue steak, do you have barbecue steaks? I've never done this. I do. Yeah. I microwave a steak. No, I had a micro-friend barbecue me a steak. Oh.

Yeah. I just sat back and watched. That's nice. She cooks for you. I love that. She give you blowjabs too. Of course. Why not? I hope she does. I'm just saying. She cooks for you. I love that. She give you blowjabs too. Of course. Why not? I hope she does. I'm just saying. I hope she does. So it would make sense that Memo

created a holiday after their two favorite things. Meat and blowjabs. So anyway, I'm having a party at Hoster Hollywood. You shall come because it's going to be really fun. It's on a sunset boulevard. Really fun. I think I just got the RSP info in an email somewhere. But you can also email us at feedback at sex. I mean, if you wanna come, it's really just gonna be a party starting at eight. I'm gonna give you a little blowjob, a few blowjob tips,

but we're gonna have like actual stake. Maybe you'll get a blowjob that night, not for me, but I will be teaching in a killer class. And if you never know, you never know. You never know. You know what I mean? You don't say. You never know who I'm gonna end up with. Who's penis is gonna end up with my mouth in the night? You know, I mean? You don't say. You never know who I'm going to end up with.

Who's penis is going to end up with my mouth in the night? You know, I'm all about holidays. Yeah. So, we'll see. Celebration, get back. It'll be a good time. And the House of Hollywood sort of,

you've never been, is just a destination in itself. That's all I'm going to say. You've got to walk in there and you will blow your mind. It will blow your mind. And you can go jump. Parking is in the back by the way. Yeah. Parking. So easy, so easy.

So what's up, Matt? Anything new and exciting? I'm trying to think. I eat. I'm forced to eat. You're on Vegas now. I will be in Vegas on Stake and BJ Day, so that's going. I just hope that it carries on.

Good fortune for you there. I know, hopefully. And then I don't know. I think I'm going to go to San Diego and stuff like that. But I had a bunch of listeners hit me up saying that they listened to the show I always like that. I had a message from on Instagram on your menace or yeah menace on Instagram M&AC. Yeah, I said it said hold on sorry should have been prepared it just said that they enjoyed having me on the show.

Great. And they said that I sounded more happy than usual. Yeah, I agree. Do you know, can I tell you something, Menace? What? Last week, you seemed the happiest I've seen you in a while. Really? You just seemed, I don't know,

maybe you're as nice or to me. But you just seemed in really good spirits. Okay. You're in pro-sac or to me, but you just seemed a really good spirit. You're in pro-sac or something? No. Just things are good. No. That's really funny.

You really do seem happier. Yeah, I guess so. What if for that? That's hilarious. I think everything is the same. No, but usually you're a little grumbier or whatever, but I just, yeah, you seem happy. Yeah, I think maybe I just...

You've a lighter spirit. Yeah, I think I'm just over things I can't change, you know. Yeah, that's what life is about. Work. When it comes to work and stuff. I know. You got to let some go. One of it's out of my hands. What am I going to do? You know, we do the best we can every day. And there's a lot of demand and I was like, this entertainment industry, like, you know, you're not millionaires. You know, it doesn't happen that we do it because we love it. And so that's a little stressful. I don't even know what's really cool.

Also, the person said that they'd listen to the Morning Show that I'm part of, which is called The Woody Show. If you live in Los Angeles, you can listen to it. It's on Alt 987, Monday through Friday, 6am to 10am. But the thing that's really cool is, we also podcast the show, right? It's about pop culture and stuff like that.

We don't really dip into sex too. That's okay, people like that. Sex too much. But what I noticed on iTunes, that people that download our podcasts are starting to download the Sex with Emily podcasts. Oh, that's awesome. Because it'll give you shout outs here and there.

I love that you do that. You don't even know that I give you love. I do, I love that. I love that, I love that you give me love. So thank you for everyone that's listening to the show. Yeah that I give you love. I do, I love that. I love that. I love that you give me love. So thank you for everyone that's listening to the show. Yeah, I'm cross referencing.

I mean, that's cross listening. That's great. I mean, there are so many great podcasts out there. I love it. You're not going to learn about blow jobs on that show. I'm sorry. Dude, that's why I'm here. Even though it's called the Woody show.

That's why I'm here. I'm telling you, I'm going to teach you blow job class. It's so funny. I was just practicing it a little bit. I was talking to my friend and I'm like, well, this is what you do. And I just kind of broke it down. I think I'm pretty good. I was going to, um, no, I'm not going it a little bit. I was talking to my friend and I'm like, well, this is what you do. And I just kind of broke it down. I think I'm pretty good. I was gonna, no, I'm not gonna read this text.

Okay. What? I know, I know, I know, I know. I'm so into it. What? What? It is, but I, so I gave a blowjob last night. Okay.

There, this is sex with Emily. And this is an example. I just want to tell you of a text, because you know what I'm always saying? Four plays starts after the last orgasm, and that if you don't have time to call your partner all day or disconnect, just send a sexy, flirty text

that I hadn't thought about. I got him running around all day, and this is what I got. And I never share this personal stuff. Okay, good. This is good. I know. So I was driving here to the show. Okay, good. This is good. Hi, baby. So I was driving here to the show.

I've already had like six meetings today, and he, we're gonna call him, he said, I mean, join the memories of the spectacular head you gave me last night. Wow. And I was like, wow, that's great. Enjoying the memory. That's nice.

Well, I'm saying is that that was nice. He appreciated it. He's enjoying it, and that made me think, all I'm saying is that that was nice. He appreciated it. He's enjoying it and that made me think about it. And it was just a nice thing. It was like a thank you card for the blowjob. What was your response though? Oh, my response. Yeah.

I'm not gonna share that. Why not? I said, that's an awesome text. I, that's an awesome, that's an awesome text. I said, I too know I'm enjoying the memory. I'm not telling more. I got there. Oh, see? But I said I enjoyed. That's what I. That's an awesome. I said, I too know, I'm enjoying the memory. I'm not telling more, I got there. Oh, see? But I said, I enjoy.

That's what I wanted to tell. Okay, okay. Okay, I can't really read it, so I can't really read it. I said, I enjoy- What? I said, I enjoy sucking on you. It's a win-win. Yes, see?

That's the response that I like. Because I was- I was driving. Yeah, yeah. No, I was afraid that you might have said, oh, that's really nice. No, I gave because I was driving. Yeah, yeah, no, I was afraid that you might have said, Oh, that's really nice. No, I gave it back to him. And we'll see if he texted back in the show. But I'm just saying in general, like, it like other women might be saying, Oh, that's great. Right. You know, well, I've had a lot of guys who say they

try to start like provocative text with women and they're like, Oh, thanks. And that's like such a buzzkill for a guy who put it out there and he put it out there. And I was like, that's hot. I thought I'd give it a killer blowjob. That's what you can do my blowjob class. So anyway, that was fun. And it is true that like sending, I don't know, like people might, you may feel vulnerable by it, but there's no way that a, I don't know.

Maybe if she doesn't respond back to you, they know that's a sign or to say, hey, I think it's hot. When I, you should message me back, whatever. Just tell your partner, if you think about them during the day, let them know. Don't play games. It's all I'm saying. OK, we've got some sex in the news.

All right. You know this whole webcam girl craze, everyone's a porn star now, right? I mean, I was a waitress in college, right? And I thought that was a good job. And I made really good money. I got like, you know, it was dollar picture and I get five bucks. But here we are, all these girls are now becoming webcam girls.

So Kendra Sunderland, as late as you heard about her. Oregon webcam sex star slapped with public indecency charge. So prosecutors have filed a public indecency charge against the former Oregon State University student who last month filmed an ex-rated webcam show inside the school's main library, according to court records. She's 19 and she was named last week in a misdemeanor criminal information file,

misdemeanor criminal, whatever charge, filed in the circuit court in Menton County. And she said that she did it with the intent of arousing the sexual desire of defendant or another person and exposed her genitals. Oh, that's what the document says that she was doing it to, I'm sorry you guys, intent of arousing sexual desire, of course that's why she did it. So during the 31 minute webcam performance, Sunderland has seen exposing her breast, her vagina, masturbating and licking herself.

I'm like a circus act. Yeah. Is she licking herself? Yeah, she and licking herself. Some of the circus act. Were she licking, licking herself? Yeah, she was licking herself. Did you see it? Yeah, she did. Well, I've been following the story. Right, no, it's been going on for a while. Yeah, so I've been following the story.

And yeah, it's hilarious because while A, she is super hot. Right, she's hot. Yeah, she's smoking hot. She's heavy, she's smoking hot. She's 19, she's hot. But the second part is what's so funny is, so she got, she got kicked out of school, right? Right.

And so she did this interview with the TV show Inside Edition. And she said that, yeah, I'm really sad that I can't go back to school because I'm going to miss the basketball game. Not math class. Not math class, getting an education. No, no, no. I believe her or not, she said her parents were upset. Imagine that, right?

We're sending you college education. She says she's decided that college life just isn't for her. Quote, I had enough of the college life. I lived it for a year. I think that was perfect timing yeah her her camgirl career was still touch and go she was arraying on Thursday could be facing a $6,000 fine and it could be a problem for her solo sex career but the fine is already covered about she just said what are your guys paid for it so now she signed

a deal with playboy of course sugar daddy Sugar Daddy website, she's done radio, she actually gonna be in Dr. Drew HLN tonight, and she just signed a contract with Penn House. Her Twitter feed, 74,000 followers, and she reported, holy s, I'm the 56th popular porn star, I'm porn hub. I'm sure her parents are proud. Take a moment of silence.

I mean, I think like when she was writing her college applications, which she like, I really hope one day, I'm gonna be the most popular girl in Port-Hop. That's what's going on. No, or she's like, when they start seeing some of that money come in, you're 19 years old. I know. They're like, I gotta read all these books,

or I could just make thousands of dollars from guys that's handing me money all day. Well, what are you gonna take? But it's not gonna mess her up at 19. I'm sorry if she was already messed up. She's like going down a road of like, you know, fast money, fast attention, which you're so susceptible to that age.

She's obviously not well grounded. Surrounded by a bunch of sleazy guys, but that's just how it goes. This how it goes with a lot of porn stars. So we looked a little into those cam girls because it is sort of, remember Bell Knox at Duke. She was kind of the first one that came out that was like at Duke.

It was like, I'm proud of it. Yeah. Do you remember? There's so many of them now. Yeah. But she... It's been around for quite a while. No, it has been around for a while.

But it just seems like lately what's been making the news is that all these like college-aged girls instead of being a waitress, like I was at two different bars. Which I actually thought had great perks because I drank for free for four years. And you got a free Taco Bell. And I got a free Taco Bell. And I got free Taco Bell. There was a Taco at Rex at University of Michigan at the bar.

It was called Rex every night. Free Taco Bell. So they say they just find a site they like. They register, show proof of age, and boom, that's it. They're a webcam girl. They have a flexible schedule. They work from home, do as much or as little as they want, and they can make a lot of money.

So many girls who do it don't consider the same as porn. They work from home, do as much or as little as they want, and they can make a lot of money. So many girls who do it don't consider it the same as porn, so they believe there's an emotional aspect to it. And there was actually an upcoming documentary in the subject, and one cam girl said, I'm the person asking how their day was. I'm part therapist, part sex object. So they are saving the world one orgasm at a time. That just makes them feel better about what they're doing.

Yeah, they're trying to infuse some sort of social consciousness. I'm not hating that. Look, I'm not hating it. I'm just worried about their future. Yeah. She got into college one year was enough for, you know what I mean? Like, I want to be her therapist for five minutes and just be like, really babe? Well, a lot of people are just like fed up with, if they see an opportunity where you don't have to do a lot of work and anything you do.

And it's cool, loans are so expensive now. I mean, it's crazy. I mean, maybe it's Obama's fault. I know, I knew a girl that worked at a grocery store and she was thinking of giving up, working at the grocery store just to, did this webcam thing because she was just tired of bagging groceries every day.

I mean, seriously, since I started this, and I was trying to monetize it for the first eight years, people were like, why don't you put some nude pictures up on your site? Yeah, let's throw some nudes. Like, that's just not the road I'm going down. So they also said that, you know, oh, here's the crazy thing. These Cam girls believe that their current online job

will not affect future employment. And one girl said, what happens on the internet stays on the internet. Yeah, right. What planet are they on? There's guys, there's screen shotting this stuff. I know. We're talking.

What happens on the internet stays on the internet exactly forever. They have. So folders of just photos and like recording the everything that's happening. It's never going away. Yeah, it's there.

Yeah, stays on the internet. The internet is the world. Yeah. Okay, so the reason why it's becoming a more popular porn software man is they find it's more intimate, it's more real, because they're like, hey, here's 20 bucks. They touch your left, maybe, or something. But do you think that maybe eventually,

because so many people are doing it, that it won't affect anything? What do you think that maybe eventually, because so many people are doing it, that it won't affect anything? What do you mean? Future employment? You mean like the President of the United States who have been to like a webcam girl? No, I'm saying like, I'm just saying like, look, if you're doing webcam stuff,

you might not have the ambition to be the next CEO of, you know, Intel or something like that. You might be okay with it. Right, I guess so. I mean, I'm not judging you as I know I sound really to be the next CEO of, you know, Intel or something like that. You might be okay with it. Right. I guess so. I mean, I'm not judging you as I know I sound really judgmental right now. I guess I just get concerned because I know a lot of people who started school and couldn't

finish for certain reasons because they didn't have the money or they took a job or something and I know people now like in their like 20s who are like, I just want to finish that one credit. And I just feel like no matter which way you go around it, and I was even interviewing an intern the other day, which by the way, we do need interns. I'm gonna get back to that in a minute. But he was like, yeah, he was like, 28, he's like, I just didn't finish.

I'm going back, like, you think you just want to get your college degree. I mean, I'm not, I don't want to, I mean, it's a good experience for you to learn all the basic skills that you need in taking the basic classes, also just learning to be on campus. You grow up a lot. And I'm just saying to give it all up

because you are gonna make more money. I just feel like it's very short-sighted, but at that time in life, you don't tend to really think big. So again, not judging, I'm just saying, I guess I sort of am, but just, I'm worried about she's 19. Hey, you know what? The drugs are an actual thing. Okay, so this is like a great story.

I actually love this sex in the news story. Okay. Oral sex may be a lifesavers for spiders. Wait, so maybe. So mating oral sex may be a lifesaver for spiders. Okay. Okay, ready? Mating can be a deadly act for spiders,

which I did not know. So whenever they mate, females, spiders often end it by eating their partners. Yeah. So the Darwin-Bark spider found an unusual way around this risk. He keeps the juices flowing in the female spider. During copulation, males orally lubricate the females' genitals. The reason may be to prevent themselves from becoming a meal. The research team observed that female mates with multiple males

and that the males are ultra-competitive as a result. They found that 76% of female overall were aggressive towards males with 35% cannibalizing them after copulation. So males, spiders, they need a tactic to prevent getting eaten. And one way is to linger around younger females. So what they do, the male spiders figured out, they're gonna nibble on the female's external genitals using their fangs.

And then we observed that there was a liquid coming out of the fangs. So we don't know what the liquid is. They say it looks like digestive juices. And they suggest that the oral lubrication relaxes the adult female spider. So they're less likely to cannibalize them. So oral sex is saving male spiders. And like I've always said, let's be honest, it saves everyone's lives.

Have you ever been around a black widow spider? No. That's what it's all about. That's why you ever been around a black widow spider? No. That's what it's all about. That's why I asked its name. Because black widows. They eat, right. You know, I know that they eat them. I knew that, but I didn't know that this whole thing

was going on with the thing. But I knew black widows, but I didn't know that every spider. Yeah. I didn't know that every spider eats their male. I can't be every single one. No way. No, I didn't say black widow. We've got to get on the good one.

What EVS, the point is, perform oral sex in your partner. Yes. You're not going to get eaten. Be a spider. Or throw it out of the house. Okay, we've got some emails today. All right, I'd like to ask for the thank you. Thank you, everyone, for emailing us at feedbackatsex with ME.com.

But before I get into the emails, I want to say one thing that I wanted to mention at the beginning of this show is that we need some interns and you know many of us, we've always had amazing interns over the years and now we're looking for a social media marketing intern and also a production intern. So someone you can do video editing, video audio, all that and then a social media. So two different positions and you can email us at feedbackgetsexy.com, send a resume cover letter writing samples. That would be amazing. And then also for our website, we're just looking for seasoned sex and relationship writers

who are interested in contributing content to our site. That's great. Same thing, email us feedback at sex with them. We got a lot of our interns went on and done like some really cool stuff. So amazing things. We've got Facebook and they've worked out like tech blogs and stuff like that.

Yeah, if ad agencies, tech blogs, I've gotten that one of them was like running, remember Elizabeth? She's running like that huge ad agency in the city. I'm probably Elizabeth. I've had like, yeah, all my interns, or a higher sum, many of them, Madison City here.

So, you know, it's a good time. Okay, so the people's, here's what they're saying to us today. Dear Emily, I've been married for seven years, and both my partner and I are not initiators in the bedroom, and our sex life has become stale and almost like a chore. He's not a fan of four play, and I find it hard to be turned on and ready. We love each other, but we are becoming like housemates.

We've been faithful to each other since we met 15 years ago. Over the past four years, I've gained and lost 50 pounds, and now that I'm fit and healthy, I'm attracted more and more to other men to whom some pay me a lot of attention. I miss having that with my hubby. The other day, we discussed trying to open relationship for six months just to see how it goes,

sharing the risks including leaving each other for another person who we enjoyed more, attachment, catching an SDD or pregnancy. We decided to give it a go and tell each other if something happens, trust happens, something happens. You know, we have to implement trust and honesty. He says he finds it a turn on

when otherwise paid me attention and wants me to explore with other men to see if it helps me come out a little more. I am the jealous type, but I think he needs this, as I can tell he's unhappy too, so I want him to see if this would make him happy and vice versa. I'm excited about this, but I want the strangers more than him,

and it turns me on, but it also scares me. What are your thoughts and open relationships? Do you think they can work? What would be your advice to have it work? Is this a good idea? I should mention I live in Australia, I really enjoy your Facebook page and podcast too, which I only started listening to three weeks ago, a lot of catching up to you to do things in advance. T is for trying new things, female. Okay, well first of all, thank you for telling us we want everyone to tell us

where you live. And how you listen to the show. Appreciate that. Okay, so I'm really happy to you that you were able to have the conversation with your husband about what you'd like to try, sharing your fears and concerns, and it sounds like you're both kind of on the same page that you want to step out. But have you discussed with him why he's not a fan of 4Play? Because that was her first point, right, that she said he's not a fan of 4Play. So why is he a fan of foreplay, because that was her first point, right, that she said, um, he's not a fan of foreplay. So why is he a fan of it?

Because that's a lot. He knows that you need it, and he's not giving it to you. So I'm wondering if he gave you more foreplay and more attention, which you said you're lacking from him, if that would help the relationship. Now open relationships can really work for a lot of couples, but I only, only, recommend it for couples who are in a secure, stable relationship, and they want to experience an open relationship on a level playing field where you're in a good place and you both want the same things.

My problem, T, is that you are not turned on by your husband anymore, so this is shaky ground. It's kind of like having a baby to save your marriage. It may have mixed results. It's kind of a recipe for an affair and disaster because you have resentments for them. Plus she's jealous, red flag. So the fact that the idea of being with another man

doesn't make you feel more attracted to your partner, it pulls you further apart. That is concerning. So I would say you need to continue practicing rigorous honesty with each other, communicate openly and frequently. And that's the only way it's going to work. And I'm not even sure that you're ready for it. That said, I was in love with other night, as you know,

which is a popular radio show and a podcast as well. And open forum, every night we do an open forum between 11, 11, 11 30 and we picked open relationships. Drew was out of town, he doesn't like talking about it, it was just Mike and I. And I was like call up if you open relationship is worked. And you know I feel that they're not for everybody but we got a lot of calls from people who were like we've been in it for 14 years, 10 years, it works and some people of course it doesn't work just like marriages and work people but for the

people that it does work for, it's because they love each other, they're each other's primary partners, they've been having sex with each other for a long time, and they have very, very strict rules. You have to set the rules ahead time, like, you know, there's no kissing, there's no sleepovers, it's not like your husband

meets someone at the bar and just doesn't come home that night. I mean, people in these kind of relationships do practice rigorous honesty and they have trust, you know, they might have trust in jealousy, but they learn to transcend it, all this stuff. And so, yes, they have worked. I don't think that T is ready. No. I agree at 1000% with everything you said, believe it or not, because they, again, they're not

in a strong place to be doing stuff like this. It's not a good place. It's going to blow up in their face. Exactly. You need to go to marriage counseling first then or something. Don't jump into it. It's not the way to save it. Okay. Dear Emily, how do you ask someone if they want to be taped up? Thanks. Curious. Mel. You bring the tape and then you start taping them if they say no, then you don't do it. Right. Foundage tape. I love these tapes at tape to that type because you know. I love bondage tape Mm-hmm

I wouldn't bring it up on the first date per se, but I would say you know this day and age one I'm asked her if she read 50 shades of gray. I mean it's on everyone's lips Everyone's talking about it if so you can say what you think about it. What she like about it If she says the man Christen Gray is an abuser and the devil, well, you have your answer. But, you know, feel her out. Did you see, well, been minded in the bedroom? Do they seem easily freaked out?

I mean, start out by asking like, once you guys get to this intimate place, and if you've already had sex, so you've already been together, you can say, I want to know what really turned you on. I love the sex we're having together. It's so hot. And I think sex

should be all about experimenting. What in your mind would you like to try? So put it in her plate, see what she answers. She says nothing. I don't know. It's good. It's fine. She might need a little prodding. So you could say, well, what about have you ever thought about dressing up in a sexy outfit? Have you ever wanted to have your hands tied back? You know, think about it. Just start feeding on her, but you don't. Yeah. Again, you always want to keep these conversations light when you start because you don't want to freak anyone out and really, they are light.

I mean, you're talking about improving your sex light and doing something that you both might really enjoy. Yeah, I think the 50 Shades of Grey movie thing is a perfect opener. And then, yeah, again, just throwing a couple things like, oh, would you be into that, you know? Yeah. Would you be into being tied up? Is that your thing? Yeah, is that your jam? Cause I got some bonds tape right here. Yeah, I heard a new phrase,

I'm sure it's been around for a long time, but it was new to me. It was the roping thing. Have you heard about that? This is roping where you like, you tie somebody up, but it's like really tight. Like, cuts off a little bit of circulation.

It's a fixation, okay. Fixation? Not on your neck, but like in different parts of your body, or like your boobs and stuff like that. Yeah, I mean, that's always been, I mean, there's always been like, people who are more into it aggressively cut it. Be careful, people.

I'm thinking if you're trying out, you wanna do like a silk necktie that you already got. Yeah, don't go into it. Don't go into any of this stuff. You've got to ease into this stuff. But I think it's great that you want to ask because there's a lot of guys who would be to relationship with someone.

They have something they're dying to try and they're so afraid of being judged on their fantasies or what they want. I think the woman's just going to freak them out and run. But the truth is, if this is something that you really want to try, then you should find out because that doesn't go away. I think if there's something that you always want to try, then you should find out because that doesn't go away. I think if there's something that you always want to try in your wisdom,

when you kind of push it under the rug, it's going to keep surfacing. So, you know, sex should be expansive, and you should keep learning about each other. So, okay, quick word from our amazing killer sponsors. So, Adam and Eve, let me ask you a question. People. Are you getting enough? You ask? Are you getting enough? You know, are you getting enough?

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So go to adamaniv.com today, select one item, get 10 free gifts, including free shipping, when you enter offer code Emily, that's emil.y at adamaniv.com. Can you imagine you order one like sex toy and then you get 10 gifts? Yeah, that's pretty good. I love that stuff. Like when you order from Sephora, you probably don't know this, but you order like a foundation and whatever, and then they send you all those little samples. It's the best. Yeah, it's great. But I'd rather not even go to the store because they're gonna send me cool stuff.

There's this clothing company that I love, Rebel 8, it says Rebel and then the number eight, I order stuff from them all the time. And it's fun when they throw extra stuff in the box, I just stick her to stuff, or whatever. I love it. It's awesome. So do that, people.

Okay, dear Emily, I'm a huge fan and absolutely love your podcast. Thank you so much for everything you do. I've learned so much. My question is about an ex-boyfriend. We were together for two years, January 2011 to May 2013, and got back together August 2013 until I moved to Spain in September and decided against long distance.

We stayed in touch, hung out a few times, summer of 2014. She's very specific here. When I came back, he has another girlfriend right now. We hung out in 2014 when I came back and he has another girlfriend now. At the end, however, it was too painful. I told him I couldn't talk to him anymore because on love line, Dr. Drew said after a breakup, there needs to be a six months of no contact. Well, this is month six for me. I'm still thinking about him. Not sure if it's because I want him back or I just miss my best friend. What do I do now? Love why? PS, I'm 25 from California, but traveling the world at the

moment. Nice. Okay, so the point of Drew's waiting six month thing is to help you get over them. And I think it's true that when you do break up with someone, there's a lot of people who are like, oh, we can still be friends or we can like hook up and we still check in because you miss each other, which makes sense because you were together a long time. You probably is your best friend. You probably is the person that you turn to.

And so that's why you need the six months. So I'm wondering when you want to contact them now, what do you hope will happen? Do you really think that you're ready just to be friends with them? Do you want to hear about his new girlfriend? Because I don't think that you've moved on yet. I'm not sure what you've been doing these six like you're traveling the world, but you're awesome. But are you dating? Are you sleeping? Are you hanging out with other people? If you haven't filled that space, that void that he's

left you, you're still going to miss him. And I'm not even saying you have to be banging a lot of guys. I'm saying just put yourself out there to meet men and to go on dates, because if you did any relationship, it could be uncomfortable. So I just think you need to leave this in the past and open up the idea of dating again, and start looking for what you want. And we tend to put X's on a pedestal.

We remember all the great things, and believe me, there was a reason that you broke up. So make time to date, put yourself out there, and don't contact them. What do you think? Again, why am I agreeing with you so much to that? I don't know, because we love each other and you're happy now. Yeah, it's terrible. What? I'm happy now. I've always been happy. No, people say you seem happier. Where's the meeting people? I don't know. Maybe, I think I was sleep deprived last time I was here. No, last time you were happy. You mean the time before? Yeah, maybe.

I don't know. Sleep deprived. You've been sleep deprived for 10 years? It totally. I know, it's true. Yeah. I'm a little sleep deprived, too, but hey, it makes things more interesting.

It's, it's, it's, it's, no, we need it. I needed out eight hours of sleep a night, or I lose my mind. Yeah, it's, but the thing is, yeah, she, she doesn't want to be the single girl hating up some guy that's in relationship. That's not cool.

No. Yeah, exactly. And the only reason you're doing it is because you haven't moved on yet. And not even moved on with another guy, but emotionally, you're still holding onto the memories of that. And so you have to prepare yourself to be in a relationship and to be open to new experiences. Don't look thirsty. You know what I'm saying?

Is that needy? Yes. Look at you figuring out the term thirsty. Guys are usually thirsty, like the thirstiest. Really? But can't you feel a girl's thirst wanting to be quenched from like across the room? Like if she's thirsty?

I can, yeah, you can tell if a girl's thirsty or not. But guys are always thirsty. Yeah, guys are like, yeah, it's like a desert. But we're just kind of saying desperate, like don't put yourself in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thirsty. The thirst is real.

Thirsty is real man. Okay, hey Emily, I'm a new listener. I got to say I love you show so much. I'm learning all these new tricks and tips and it's all very helpful. But my question is, I'm dating a guy that is four years older than me. So he's a little more experienced and bad than I am,

but the thing he's definitely more experienced in is anal. I've never done anal, quite frankly, I'm scared. I don't know if scared is the right word, but it makes me nervous. We've brought anal loob, and when we tried it, I was still in pain and didn't feel any pleasure. I want to be able to do what he loves,

but I want to enjoy it as well. Any tips? Thanks, Tavi. How many anal emails do you think you had in your 10 years of doing this? Hundreds. Yeah. Hundreds?

Yeah, more and more though. I would say that anal, at first I was saying anal is a new blow job when I started, but now I think it's like squirting is a new Ainal, so we're getting more squirting questions, but Ainal's always like a good hard, like people want to know. I mean, I think it's porn.

Like Ainal didn't even come up as an option for me, and I was like, and I was like, if you weren't like trying to make it. You were thinking about it. I didn't even think that that was an option. Yeah, probably. Probably late 2000s is when Ainal was really popping off, but now again, it's like squirting this, squirting classes, squirting.

Right, exactly. It's everything. It's squirting, and anal, anal, squirting is an anal, but anal does not go away. So listen, Tavi, this is something you should be doing because you want to, not because your partner wants to do it, but it sounds like you want to try it and you didn't have a good first time experience. Well, I'll hear to let you know a lot of women don't have good first time experiences. You think? Yeah, guys are drunk. They're sticking it in. They're not using

lube. I'm being sarcastic. Right. So they never want to do it again. And I understand that it was painful the first time. And it often is painful the first time. So the first thing is, you know, lube, lube, lube. You can never have enough lube, but you have to relax. The problem is, when we're about to have anal sex, we tense up and we clench our buttocks, and which is the worst thing you can do, but that's like our reflexes, it's a tense up.

And so your back door contains muscles that tense up when you get tense, and it's gonna hurt. And you have to remember to breathe and relax, and then those muscles will naturally relax. And so in the first few moments of penetration, the pressure causes women to instinctively hold their breath, and this results in the immediate tightening of those muscles, which will only lead to the pain. So take deep breaths, focus on relaxing your entire body, release all that tension you're

behind, might feel like you have to poop, but you won't. Just go for it. And here's the other thing. You don't want to start with anal. You really need a lot of foreplay in warm-up, just because you're, you know, you got, you know, he wants to try, it doesn't mean that you don't, this is actually one side where you actually

really need foreplay in warm-up, because you want to be relaxed, and he should be giving you a massage. He could use the massage candle on you, which just relax you. You want to be in a good place, place the music, light some candles, like I said, set the atmosphere. And maybe you have vaginal sex before having anal because you want to be turned on first.

So he goes down in you. So you already have an orgasm. If you already have an orgasm, you'll definitely be more relaxed. And he should not just be sticking his penis right in if you've never had it in and in times of you had it once. But he could just start by like rubbing the area with some blue brown or any stick a finger in and experiment with a couple fingers.

And so, you know, while he's playing with your back door, you can also be rubbing your clitoris, use a sex toy to kind of play with your clitoris so you're getting turned on in both areas. And this will help you relax and take off, take the unfamiliar feeling of foreplay off your mind if you also are getting stimulated, cliterally. But all I can say, you literally think

my biggest tip is breathe and lube. Breathe and lube and take your time. Breathe and relax and lube and take your time and go slow. Yeah, tell the guy to go slow. Yeah, just the guy, because he has a direction and he feels that he's gonna lose it. It's gonna try to get in there as soon as possible. Right, and it can be painful and then it could

ruin it for life. But again, here's the thing though, Tavi, if you do all these things and you still don't like it, don't feel bad, it's not for everybody. Some guys don't like blow jobs. Some women don't like girl sex. It's true, which I can't believe, but some guys don't like girl sex.

And some girls don't like, but I'm saying so, you don guys don't like what I'm talking about. And some girls don't like what I'm saying. So you don't have to, like, you know, sex, like, don't force yourself into it. But if you try some of these steps and it still doesn't work, you know, maybe it's just not your jam. Yeah. And you try it. You give it, you give it the old college try. The old college try.

Exactly. Awesome. Awesome. Okay. Oral sex question. All right. Hi, Emily. Thanks for all the great advice. I've been listening for over a year now,

and I love it. You've been a gift to my wife and I, and we share your podcast with everyone. Aw, let me see if you'll go. My question relates to why my wife's monthly visit from Antflow comes. My wife, okay, it's about when her visit from Antflow comes, aka her period.

My wife loves oral sex, no doubt about it, and you've given us a lot of great tips to make it better. Where are some tips you would offer for pleasure in her when she's on her period is oral safe. Thanks again for everything. You're the best key up to the great work, Mike. I think this guy deserves husband of the year award. Like he's so concerned that when she's on her period

that you can't have oral sex, he's like asking how to do it. I love him. Really? Most of you guys are like, yeah, blow tops for me. Yeah. Most of you guys won't even touch their ladies down there when they're on their period.

Yeah. So. Most guys don't say like 99.9%. Yeah. Exactly. And I understand why there's nothing unsafe about period blood, but it can get messy.

So just focus your attention on her clitoris. So her clitoris, like she could sell a tampon in or whatever, but her clitoris. So her clitoris, like she could sell a tampon in or whatever, but your clitoris is still right and ready to go. So you can, and if you don't want to like, put your tongue down there, I get it. Use an external sex toy for clitoris, like the Wevibe Tango, which is the friggin' strong,

is amazing bullet in the world. The Tango. On her, you could just use a bullet bullet. What, what are you looking at? No, I'm just looking at. You want one? No. You can use a dental dam. Yes.

No one ever does this. Do you know why a dental dam is? Why do you even find a dental dam? Well, one of yours is like, funny. Yeah, okay. Do you know my dental dam story? So a few years ago, it was always that's being the Doctors Television Show,

which is a very well-known, respected show here. And they wanted me to come on and talk about dental dams. All right. I get an email from the producers and they say, just like you're going to church for the show. And I'm like, I'm a Jew, but okay, I'll figure it out. So I go on and I'm like, but yet,

it's actually on the internet. I think it's on my website, but I get up. And I'm like, here's how I teach people how to make a dental dam. And a dental dam is what you put over a woman's vagina. It's like, it's like latex, it's like made of what a condom is made of. And then you could lick her over it or whatever.

And a lot of lesbians can use it so you don't sexually transmit diseases. You can make one from a condom. You cut, so you hold a condom lengthwise, cut off the tip, and then you cut it from the top to the bottom, and then you roll it open. You got a dentalented down. Wow. I know. I did that on the outside. I had a practice with cutting and scissors. My mother was proud. I'm sorry, mom. I was proud. I'm like, oh, look, my daughter's in the doctors. Oh, look, she's back in the medicine.

She probably told everybody. Oh, my God. Here's the other thing. How popular are you in your hometown in Michigan? You know, I guess I'm pretty popular. I guess, you know, people saw I misadvised, not everyone's talking about sex, and my brother, you know my brother. Oh yeah, he's pretty. He put me on a commercial.

He put me on a, my brother's a personal injury attorney in Michigan. He's like the largest personal injury firm. And he, when I was home in September, he's like, do a commercial with me. So we did a commercial. Like my brother, Mike, is this is that. And it plays all the time. So like all my friends from Michigan are like,

I saw you interview with your brother. And it's like funny, because I'm like, I think it's gonna be something sex, but it's all about my bro. Okay, from a medical standpoint, also, menstrual blood can transmit STDs, including some viruses. So practice safe sex, he's done so damn.

So I wanna say that first. So don't worry about going down in our, but sex during menstruation can be pleasurable and women claim that climaxing can ease their menstrual cramps. Okay. He's a good husband. Yeah.

I like him. Okay. Husband of the year. Husband of the year, like, I want to perform a role-driver all the time in the four days of year. I mean, really, this guy rocks. Okay. Aino play for straight guys. Did you write this one mean, really this guy rocks. Okay. Aino Play for Stray Guys.

Did you write this one, Mattis? Did you want to know about Aino Play? No, no, no. No, no, no. Okay. But I always say when it comes to this, watch the movie Road Trip. Okay. It's hilarious.

I didn't see it, but you know that. Yeah. It's... I actually did see a movie that I'll tell you about it a minute. Okay. Dear Emily, I'm a 19-year-old male, but I love it when my girlfriend uses a butt plug or Aino beads on me.

Is this a normal thing for somebody who is not gay? Thanks. L, male, which is too remain anonymous. Okay. L, it is very common for men to, um, to experience, to enjoy that. Though, it's the prostate. In the male prostate, they call it the male g-spot.

There is a lot of pleasure in that area for straight men. I talk about this all the time. And the reason why I think a lot of pleasure in that area for straight men. I talk about this all the time and the reason why I think a lot of men are like, anal, no go, don't touch it, is because they think it's gonna make them gay. You have a girlfriend, you are not attracted to men. There is nothing about your anus being touched that makes you gay.

Charlie Glickman, who is an anal expert, he's been on the show a bunch of times, he said the best, there's a huge difference between sexual orientation and sexual appetite. So just because you like the way it feels, which I mean, I've heard from many of men stick a finger in there when you're giving them oral or whatever, it feels amazing.

So you can enjoy all the backdoor play you want and still be heterosexual. Good vibes makes a great prostate toy called the black pearl. Sleek silicone, it offers several levels of gentle yet powerful vibration. It's perfectly shaped for an easy and enjoyable anal experience. You're ahead of the game, dude. You're 19.

And most guys are way too afraid to even experiment with anal play. So if the only thing that's tripping you up about is that you think it makes you gay, no, it makes you an advanced mature male who realizes that the, yeah, makes you in advance, sexually curious person who understands that our body has so many Roger's zones

that we don't even touch. I told you, right? I've said this on the show a couple of times, but back my buddy and I were just 18 and there was a sex store in our little town of Newark, California. Newark? And we walk in the door and the first sex toy I see, like on the counter, it said the anal ripper.

I thought you told me this is for a rite. Oh my god. Really? Yeah, you might not want to be, it might not be a simple but plug. Oh, use my Adam and Eve. Okay, Adam and Eve.com code Emily, right? Code Emily and get a but plug and then you'll get 10 free gifts.

You can get like a $10 but plug gift for gifts. Nice. Or $20 but plug. Whatever you want. Okay, that's what we got time for today. Already. Yeah, I love you people. Thank you so much for listening to the show.

Remember, I don't ask for much, but I do ask you to vote for me and Menace every single day for the next month at podcassarwards.com. We're in the matured category. They're not talking about our emotional development, but I think it's our topic. All right. And answer our survey.

We need interns, all that stuff. We love you. You can find Menace on Instagram and Twitter at menace Yeah, just me and a C e to that you can find me follow you guys. Okay follow me on Twitter and It's at sex with Emily and Instagram at sex with Emily and my Facebook page people love like it's funny I get a lot of emails to people who only know me through my Facebook page. Wow So I know it's so facebook.com slash sex with Emily put great information.

And I am almost at 100,000 followers on Twitter. And I think I'm going to sleep with my 100,000 followers. Really? So that gives you any incentive. You should just go like that. Go whatever, follow me. Nice. OK, everyone, thanks so much for listening.

Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithamily.com. Okay, guys, thanks for listening to the show, and as you know, I really want you to have the sex life and the relationships that you deserve, because we all deserve to have great sex. So, let me tell you about promescent, which helps a lot of guys of great sex.

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You use promescent. It closes this gap. You can both have orgasms and have a great time. It helps you last twice as long, thousands of urologists are recommending permessant, it's the only FDA-approved treatment for pre-mature ejaculation or just for lessing longer in bed. Go to permessant.com to find out more. That's promeccent.com. Thanks for listening.

listening.