Sex With Emily - Can I Eat My Own Semen? and Other Frequently Asked Questions

Episode Date: August 22, 2020

For months now, the most popular blog post on SexWithEmily.com has been “Is it normal (or safe) to eat your own ejaculate?” I’m excited to finally be answering that on today’s podcast. Join me and my callers as we explore the curiosity and appeal around this popular question.I advise a woman on how to overcome feeling insecure around her partner, because we all suffer from self-doubt from time to time, especially in the bedroom. I also tackle how porn can impact your relationship and ways to safely explore your fantasies.For even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and on today's show, I'm talking about confidence in and out of the bedroom, how porn is impacting your relationship and get this. My number one most popular blog post this year can you eat your own semen. All this and more, thanks for listening. Hey Dr. Emily, I've thought about eating my own com, but I don't have the strength or confidence to do it. My husband has always eaten his own.

He says it's easier to clean up, you know? After she gave me a low job one time, she'd come up and just kissed me with it, still in her mouth. And that child was introduced to it. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bet through eyes they call them in a bygone day.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. Most of you know I have a blog up on sexwithemily.com. I've had it for 15 years, but we are updating it a lot and we've got so many great posts every day that, you know, if you want to read some times, you're like, oh, after the podcast, I want to hear more about this, you might find that information on our blog.

Okay, so here's what happened the last few months, more than any other post. Like, you know, you have tried, you might have a website or you know how to read stats, analytics, there's this one post that has been the most popular week after week, month after month. I think it's been for a few months since the beginning of the year.

And it was so funny because we have a new marketing director. And she in her first meeting, she was like, all right, here's the analytics. The number one, uh, blog post is how to eat your own semen. And she just says it straight faced. And it was amazing. And then I think she kind of got off on a week after week. Anyway, how do you earn semen is trending? It is popular. I believe that a lot of guys saw it and porn and they want to know, can I eat my own semen? So I thought, hey, if it's trending and it's popular,

we gotta cover it. So is this something you thought about? Have you tried it? I thought, why would we just leave it in the words? In the blog, let's bring it to the podcast. On this episode, I also answered an email from Alison Australia about insecurities in a relationship. Because here's the deal.

Relationships are intimate. Relationships can make us insecure. We're going to all feel vulnerable at some point. In fact, some of our greatest learning happens when we're in a relationship, in relation to somebody else. Because otherwise, we're often not working through stuff. We're not figuring out who we are. We're not figuring out who we are.

What we want in a relationship, we learn. Even when relationships end, right? It can be so hard going through a breakup. It's like, we just look back, we're like, okay, what did I learn from that relationship? What did I learn about myself? How do I want to be in my next relationship? What don't I want in my next relationship?

So we talk a lot about this in this episode because it's like, I do believe this year that shame and vulnerability, you know, thanks to Renee Brown in the last few years, she sort of made it a buzzword. I think that these words trauma and insecurities and vulnerabilities and shame dirt in the zeitgeist right now But that's because our parents, okay, I won't speak for your parents. I'll speak for my parents No, what he was saying. Well Emily tell me how you're feeling today. Oh, that looks like you are upset about something.

Do you feel shame that the kids teased you about your shoes at school? Let's talk about that. You know, no, no, what our parents didn't know. They didn't learn to unpack things. Maybe we had a family who, when we cried or we were upset, they acted like nothing was happening, right? They acted like it wasn't real. Or they discounted your feelings or your thoughts or your emotions and said, oh, just get over

it. Buck up. Don't feel these things. So wouldn't it make sense then? We get into a relationship with somebody and we're afraid to be vulnerable. We're afraid to say, sometimes I feel not loved by you or sometimes I feel like you're going to cheat on me or you're going to leave me because we don't want to be vulnerable. But then the opposite thing happens.

We have this big wall of protection up and then nobody really gets to know us. We don't get to have a healthy, deeper connection with somebody. So if you ever been in a relationship with someone like, oh, I date people are emotionally unavailable, I think I look at people who don't really have a lot of self-awareness around their own behaviors. There's a lot of different ways to slice this, but people who don't ever look at, oh, this was my part in it, or sometimes I feel this thing makes me sad, or I had a rough day at work. I mean, I remember dating someone for a while, and this was a long, you know, my 20s, and I couldn't quite put my finger on why I never felt that connected to him. But what I loved was his confidence. He was successful at work. He had a lot of friends. He knew who he was in the world. And I found that so sexy. But what I also realized

is there was never a day when he felt things didn't go as way or he had a bad call with his family who was living out of town or it was always like other people's were doing stuff Or he got really he got really into what his friends problems were and he never ever looked at himself There wasn't self-awareness self-reflection depth now. Maybe you're that person. You're like, yeah, I don't want that Well, then that's that's fine too But I believe that in relationships with somebody whether it's a lover or a friend, when we get comfortable and close with someone, it's when we actually show them who we really are.

And that ironically is how we sort of learn to deal with our shame and our vulnerabilities is by shining a light on it, you know, bringing our darkness and the things that we think are our scariest secrets that, oh God, if I show this to anybody, I'm not lovable, which is actually our greatest fear, is that we're not going to be loved. So, it's a practice, like everything. But once you learn to show these sides of yourself,

you can even practice with a friend, you realize that, hey, they're not going to kill you. They're not as bad as you think, and typically, somebody else is having that same experience, and the people you most care about will be able to support you and show you love, and they'll be able to hold space for you and be able to help you move through things that are tough for you and their challenges. And I think that's a relationship that's our about. So we talk a lot about that in this episode. I also take calls and answer questions from our Instagram, which is sex with Emily, about

porn and dating. So I've talked a lot about porn over the years. And I want to be clear, I see the benefits to porn, I see the challenges around porn. I think that porn can be a great way to explore our fantasies with our partner, to sometimes use it to turn ourselves on, to show our partner what we like in bed. I mean, everything in moderation, I think is cool. But lately, I've been getting so many more questions from people whose partners are so into porn that it's having an impact on their performance

in the bedroom. It's having an impact on their ability to get a rouse or get turned on or have an orgasm. And so these are the downsides of porn. And in fact, there's been a lot more research lately showing that this was more done on men than women, but I hear it from all genders. If you are always watching porn, and as a result of that, you keep sort of raising the bar of stimulation, you're like, well, that was hot, but I want to watch something even more

elevated. And then that becomes a new pattern, it can have an impact on your ability to be aroused and turned on by a partner. I just want you all to have the intimate life and the sex life that you deserve and that you crave. So we break it all down in this episode. All this and more after the break, enjoy the show. We're focusing on porn just for right now. We're focusing on porn just for right now. Because I feel that porn is such a fun conversation these days and a lot of you have been sending in questions about it. And they range, the questions range from, is it a problem?

Do you think I have a problem with porn? Am I watching too much porn? You know, what's the porn I should watch with my partner? And we also understand the proliferation of porn since smartphones. And about 2007, it's just sort of skyrocketed. And we all have porn available at all times. And there's always the question,

like, what is porn good or bad? Does it have as impact on my sex life or not? So the thing I want to say at porn is I am in no way anti-porn. I'm not like we should ban porn and why is porn available. I do believe that porn has some super healthy uses, right? For one, I like that porn can actually help couples figure out what they like. So for example, you might have this fantasy. You might be into something, kinky, something different, you're like, oh, well, here's a great scene in porn. I'm gonna watch it with my partner.

Or maybe it inspires you in some ways. You can also, you know, discover, we can learn to like discover, turn on's, and we can use it to turn ourselves on turn a partner's on. That's what I got the benefits for. But there's also some things with porn that have become problematic, just like anything. Anything that we tend to really enjoy gives us that dopamine rush and all those feel good hormones

and we tend to rely on, just like food, just like drugs. With porn, we tend to increase our use. We tend to watch more explicit content and sometimes that can have an impact on us. But there's some new data that's come out a study that talks about, and this is something that's been tossed around for a while. But now there's some conclusive data that shows that consuming porn can cause

some erectile dysfunction with penis owners. I mean, this isn't really a surprise to me, but it does, the study does show that the amount of porn a man watches is linked to erectile dysfunction. But the other kicker here, watching porn is also associated with greater dysfunction with normal sex. And the other thing, only 65% of respondents are reading sex with a partner

to be more stimulating than porn. Now I understand these are the people that took a study on porn, right? So I'm going to argue that they're the porn enthusiasts who are like, yes, I'll took a study on porn, right? So I'm going to, either the porn enthusiasts who are like, yes, I'll take a study on porn. And so maybe that would make sense why a lot of them are saying, well, yeah, what I'm watching, I just, you know, I do find it more interesting than my partner.

Okay, well here's just the study. I'm going to break this down. It says that men who watched quite a lot of porn, there's a big range of responses in this study that a lot of men average 70 minutes a week, normally five to 15 minutes a week, normally 5 to 15 minutes per time, with some watching little and some watching much, much more. But here's the interesting thing.

They found that 23% of men under 35 who responded to the survey had some levels of arachnal function while having sex with the partner. And it's higher than they expected. The other thing is, these guys said, and this is nothing new, that the more extreme porn that they watch, they have to keep escalating the level of content that they're watching because they need to keep thrilling themselves. They need to keep getting more extreme and more intense because there's not around anymore.

They just kind of become not immune to it, but you have to keep raising your level of exposure to it. It's like your tolerance, just like the drinking. If I have been a drink for a few weeks, I have one drink on buzz, right? You have two drinks, you know, then after a few weeks, you're like, oh, two drinks. I'm fine.

Same thing with porn. So the interesting thing here is about erectile dysfunction because what I used to hear was that erectile dysfunction, meaning inability to stay erect. Inability to stay aroused with a partner, you have your erection, then you lose your erection, you have your erection, you lose your erection. I used to only hear about that for men

pretty much over the age of 40, because testosterone starts to drop. And men in their 50s and 60s, but that all of a sudden, now I'm hearing from men in their 20s. Men in their 30s. And I never want to be like, it's cause porn, but that's a big factor.

It's also because we don't have great sex education. It's also because if we're on an antidepressant or some other medications, that can also have an impact on your ability to stay aroused. But also if you grew up in a place that was severely repressed, right? Like let's say you grew up in a household that was completely like anti-sex, anti-porn, and then you go out and you try to have sex for the first time, that could also cause

a direct illness function. So I'm not just saying it's all porn. I believe that the reason why this says that 65% of men say that their porn watching is more exciting than their partner because they don't listen to sex with Emily, they don't listen to the show. Because my thought is that you only get to that point. The majority of men are only gonna get to the point of having to escalate their porn watching

with more intense graphic images are the ones that aren't as comfortable communicating with their partner about their needs, and their need just might be, which by the way, this is what I want every couple, all genders to have this conversation with their partner, is let's talk about our sex life. We haven't talked about it.

I feel like we're doing a lot of the same stuff, and while I love AB and CD about our sex life, these are all the great things. Let's communicate about our sex life more. Communication is lubrication. Let's talk about some things that could be interesting. You could even say, I saw this really hot scene and this porn, do you want to watch it together?

I mean, just that alone could make a difference. But I think what happens is we're like, well, I'm getting kind of bored. I want something else. I certainly can't talk to my partner about it. So I'm just happens is we're like, well, I'm getting kind of bored. I want something else. I certainly can't talk to my partner about it. So I'm just going to keep turning up the knob and watching more extreme levels of porn. And then we put this on our Instagram just now, which is Sex with Emily. So these are some of your comments. Just recently, it's good in moderation, especially when it's understood that porn is a fantasy, depends. I'm a guy that watches it, but I hate the fake moaning.

Now listen, a lot of porn is fake. It's like, you know, you hear fake news. It's like fake sex. Like porn is not an accurate depiction of how you should be having sex. It's like learning to drive by watching fast and the furious. You're like, I know how to get beyond the wheel. You know, no, you know that that is a movie.

The problem is with porn, we don't, we don't often tell me about what's real and what's not. And we don't wanna believe it. But I am telling you that so many porn actors they're not having orgasms, they're cheating towards camera, they're not hitting all the hot spots at all. Like, it's just, it's fake.

It's a story that is created to keep you aroused. And most of it is from the male gaze by man, for men. I love this one. This guy said, good, even better when the wife picks the porn. Hotter knowing she likes it too. See? So I'm all down with you all watching with your partner and even by yourself, but just a moderation.

But also saying, like, what are you into? Someone else said, seems fake. Do people really get that crazy? It is fake. It's just fake. And I think that people are always surprised by that, because also not only is it not an accurate depiction of sex, but it allows us to easily not have expectations of a partner. We're like, oh, well, I'm not going to talk to my partner about what I want. I'm just going to keep watching porn so we don't express it with our partners. And then it also can teach us how it's like performative sex, right? Like we were talking about performative sex, meaning like loud like our respondent just said, like what's with all the fink moaning?

I believe that porn is directly responsible for a lot of the performative sex that we hear. And like the moans, like I know that a lot of people who grew up on porn, that if you never saw real sex, because actually where would you see real sex, you would think, well, cue the fake moaning right now, cue the deep throating Last night we talked about deep throating. And to me that whole like, oh, I gotta take his whole penis in my mouth. I'm like, let's choke on it and make these noises

is because we saw that in porn. And I can tell you that I did not hear that years ago. 10 years ago, nobody was like, what's with deep throating? How do I deep throat? And what's wrong with my gav reflex? Because I'm not again, I'm not like canceling your sex life and porn.

This is where all this stuff about porn, teaching us behaviors that don't really serve us. Like, it's just, the stuff isn't really how we should actually be having sex. Like someone else here said, it can be great, as long as it doesn't replace couple fun. When I keep thinking about, well, where do you find real sex? I was talking to a friend's son a few months ago,

and he's like 17 and he's a super bright kid, and he was like, because a lot of my, I become the friend that all my friends kids talk to now about their sex life, which I love. And I told him and he would, oh, okay, so he was actually having some erectile dysfunction, which again, 18 years old, actually he's 18. I was explaining to to him, you know, you, there's more to learn about sex. Like, you just don't know what I was like, but I assumed that like if there

was more for me to know about sex, I would know. Like, why didn't we learn it in school? Why did my parents tell me? And he said, if you're saying this isn't real sex, then where can I go for real sex? And I was like, I didn't have a place to tell him to go for real sex. Then where can I go for real sex? And I was like, I didn't have a place to tell them to go for real sex. Like, I wish, and this is like one of my bucket lists is like creating some kind of educational, but still hot platform where you can see like real sex. Real people having sex are like some kind of instructional but not cheesy.

Like, this is the right way and this is like actually like known cares about your orgasm face and the moaning and not that moaning is an important. Like I think moaning, you know, I think it's great to make noise during sex, but you want it to be like your authentic bone, your authentic voice. Over you have a question? Well, I was thinking because last week we were talking a lot about fake orgasming and I don't know, do you think that like like, people are faking their orgasms more after, like, an increase in porn use?

Probably. I mean, I don't think that porn use doesn't help that. I think that goes, that goes under the performative bucket. Important, this person's coming in three minutes. And the other thing in porn, we don't see is the warm up. Like the, here's the part where there was warm up or the point that she was touching herself or there was the lube, like the, talk about there was no anal prep. This is the other thing, but like anal sex.

You don't see the lube and the warm up and the teasing and the playing outside of the anus before you go right in, they just go right in. So yeah, I think that faking orgasms has been around for a long time. But with porn, it doesn't help. It doesn't do as any good because you're just like, oh, well, everyone's coming.

They're coming at the same time. They're coming in all these weird positions that are not actually accurate of how we're actually gonna come. So those are all the things that impact it. There are some ethical porn. Like a lot of you ask me, you've got a lot of great information on our website at sexwithemily.com.

But there's like Erica Lust, she makes some great like ethical porn. And by ethical porn, I mean, porn that is made in like safe conditions with like all different body types, all different genders, all different, you know, all people, all different, you know, body, gender, ethnicities, like there's just you see yourself reflected more than in porn.

We're porn often also perpetuates this whole, you know, that we're not normal. We kind of set tend to body shame ourselves because we're like, I don't look like the girls in porn. And then so that sets off something. So I don't know, I like some ethical porn. There is a site called Try Quinn, Q-U-I-N-N. And what I love about Try Quinn is that it's essentially audio erotica.

And so for a lot of us, like we just, you know, it's not just visual. So it's just like listening. And it's really hot to like hear's just like listening. And it's really hot to like hear people talk about sex. And there's like dirty talk. In fact, I think it's actually a really, really cool platform for people who want to like spice up on their dirty talk or know what to say. But it's just hot to listen to. And you can just listen without having to like, oh no, or just someone walks in and I'm watching porn. But to me,

that's even a little bit more like, I don't know, I kind of like the idea of like, audio or rhodica. I think it's really cool. I think it's a nice alternative. Because some people just go to the big tube sites. Yeah, someone that I like it, sometimes I'll use porn more for the sounds in the actual audio. Totally agree. And then we have an email, this is from Instagram,

her boyfriend watches porn. It's been three years. My boyfriend doesn't really have sex with me, but watch his porn. Do I break up? I love that. I'm never going to say just blanket break up. Yes, I don't have enough information here, but you should definitely talk about your sex life.

But how you would have that conversation is you wouldn't say, I've noticed that you watch a lot of porn and we don't have sex. Because to tell someone they have to stop watching porn, just leading with that doesn't work. And in fact, I hear from you guys all the time that you're like, my partner watches too much porn, and I need them to stop. And then I also hear from the person who's like,

my partner told me to stop watching porn, so I'm hiding in the garage. I think we all know and we're all adults. We know that if someone tells us not to do something, it's just not gonna work, especially when it's porn, especially when something that gives us pleasure, it's just like saying, don't eat those cookies.

If you're trying to watch your sugar and take, all you can think about it's sugar, like how I would have a conversation if you are concerned about your partner's porn watching is I would just say, you know, again, you guys, this is how I want to hear all the conversations. I love our sex life, babe, but I feel like we haven't been having a lot of sex lately and I miss it. I miss, I miss this. Tell them the things you miss about it. Top three things you miss.

And then you could say, what do you think it's about? Curious. You know, and then you start a conversation. rather than you're watching a lot of porn. We never have sex. Should we break up? Like, no. That's never how you want to lead a conversation. Stick around and we'll talk to Alice about insecurities in her relationship. We'll be right back.

I got this email from Alice, 20 more in Australia. I've been dating my partner for six months. It's my first real relationship. We were best friends for a year, and then we started a casual relationship, but we're both anxious people. I haven't been able to finish since earlier this year when I thought I had vaginismus, which is pain during penetration. I haven't masturbated either since that time.

I haven't been able to finish from intercourse. I've gotten close, but I haven't been able to. It started to stress me out, makes me wonder, is there anything wrong with me? But now when I've sex, I'm constantly thinking about finishing and how I'm not able to finish. We love each other. However, I'm not attracted to myself,

so I'm not attracted to him either. I've also had other health issues, just made me feel less attractive and sexual. Please help. I don't want to do it. I feel hopeless. I want to give Alice a hug. But having we all sort of felt that way

that there's something about our bodies we don't love or we're so in our heads thinking about the orgasm that isn't happening and as a result of that we don't orgasm. I mean she told me four times in this email that she hasn't been able to. Four times just now. I was like she has a name. How does Tom have you been able to orgasm? No, four times. No orgasm. And that's because you guys it's like think of it this way. If you're spending, well, first, there's so much Trump hack here. First off, if we, I'll say we, if we don't love or even like, or I'm even going to say accept our bodies, accept it. Like, not hate it. How can we expect anybody else to love our bodies, to love us? I mean, of course, they do. I'm not saying your partner doesn't love you, but it's a lot harder for them to show up and be present

if we're walking around hating ourselves and a result of not hating ourselves is self-sabotage, even if it's just negative thought. So Alice is walking all day going, I'm not happy with myself. I don't like the way I look. I don't like all these things and then she gets in bed and says,

I'm not gonna orgasm. This isn't gonna happen. And then she has never bed and says I'm not going to orgasm, this isn't going to happen. And then she has never orgasm. So it's like constantly setting yourself up throughout the week, throughout the day for not being sexually successful. And if you think about it, think about it like a sports, like you're training for sports. It's like saying, oh, Emily, I went out to run a marathon and I couldn't finish. And the last week, I haven't gone for a run in a month.

I hurt my leg. I hate running. You know what I mean? But I couldn't run the marathon. It's like, if we don't do all the steps for success, we're not going to succeed it. So the first thing is what she's saying is it's like this body acceptance, right? I mean, one of the first steps is recognizing it, which I love that you're 21 years old Alice and you're like, you know, you nailed it all here.

You feel homeless and you've other health issues and you don't love your, you're not attracted to yourself. I mean, that is a beautiful way of putting it. You know, there's things I've talked about, like body exposure exercises when you actually go in front of like a mirror and you start to to get you know used to how you look and and actually celebrating it or even just like kind of looking and saying oh this is pretty amazing the way my body moves and I would recommend for you Alice to take a mirror and you haven't masturbated right so I'm going to give you a project because also you got it's like not training for the marathon you got to masturbate we got to

get our own pilot like late at the engine running. So like take a mirror and take a look. I maybe even done this at 21. I didn't do it until I was 31, but take a mirror and kind of look and look at your vulva, which is the outside of your vagina. Look at your labia. Look at your clitoris.

How when you start to touch it, it starts to kind of swell. And when we get a rouse, it starts to change. You can just look at and get curious. Like, okay, I'm just gonna look. And I think what you'll find is that, oh, it's pretty freaking awesome. Like, look at my body. I feel like for so many women,

like if I had a bunch of vaginas on the wall, the wall was up in the wall, like, could you pick yours out of a lineup? I want you to be able to be like, that is mine, that's my vulva. I want that, like that is me. I own it. It's part of us, right? I'm gonna get to know myself again, because just like I told our previous caller, Heather, who wasn't feeling like she wanted sex anymore, I think we forget. We have this amnesia about our sex life, that it feels good and that it's good for us.

And so the first step is making us feel like, I'm gonna get to know myself again, because just like I told our previous caller, Heather, who wasn't feeling like, she wanted sex anymore, I think we forget. We have this amnesia about our sex life. It feels good, and that's good for us. And so the first step is making yourself healthy, Allison,

to get in, like repairing the relationship with your body and your orgasm is the first step towards repairing the relationship with your partner. Now, I'm not saying this is exclusive, mutual exclusive. You of course could say like, let's do some mutual masturbation. Or you could even share with your partner that I don't know what kind of partner you have,

but you could say, I feel like I've really been in my head. And for many people like focusing on connected sex, staring into each other's eyes, doing some like dirty talk or tying each other up. You know, when we bring in elements that are like a little kinkier, like bondage or discipline or dirty talk even, those are elements that think of it this way, like when you're something else

to focus on, I'm like, oh, we're doing a role play. Oh, we're tying each other up. You're not in your head. And you can just turn down by that alone. And I think that's why a lot of us really love alternative kinds of sex play because we're outside of our heads, right? I mean, if you are in your head during sex, just think of it this way.

The more we're thinking, the blood is leaving your genitals, which is we need blood flow to be aroused and have orgasms and be, or sexually aroused as the first part, the orgasm, awesome. But if we're constantly thinking and believe me, I've been there, I've had the thoughts, I've had the negative thoughts, I've had that not gonna orgasm. I was sitting like, yeah,

I used to just be having sex with a partner and I'd be looking at the clock. Going like, this is certainly taking me too long. I should already orgasm by now. What is wrong with me? Could I orgasm? Oh, how did that girl fake it and born? I'll fake my orgasm.

And it's like, I didn't know that it takes a while, that I didn't know anything about communicating to my partner. And I didn't know what pleased me myself. So that's what I'm part to you. If you could just maybe not put yourself up and decide that I'm going to make it, I'm going to add to myself love and self-carotene like body positive affirmations, things

that you love about yourself. Mastervation is the greatest form of self-love. So some of those things I think would be a great next step towards your insecurities and the relationship, because you know, the truth is so many of our problems and the relationship come from ourself, comes from our own worries in life too. If you think about it, a lot of our suffering comes from repeated negative thoughts.

All right, well you've been waiting for us to go around. We're gonna talk about eating your own semen. It's all happening, we'll be right back. Back. I've had tens of thousands of questions in 15 years, but there's one interesting question that in the last six to seven months has been really filling up our inbox all the time. And in fact, my team pulled out like seven of them in front of me to talk to you about. And then I found out today during our one of our meetings that it was the top search term on our website. And it used to be womanizer, which is one of my a toy that I love. I was like really this replace it, this topic, this

is the one. And I thought it's so interesting because I don't remember being asked this topic. In 15 years, I don't think I even know one asked me it probably up until the last like year or so. So I figured, why not share it with you and see what you think? So the question is whether or not men can eat their own semen. Now, I did answer Q&A in our website at sexwithemily.com, answering it. And so now, when I searched it today is to see,

well, where does it rank on Google? Like, how many people are asking this? And it was like, it was funny, because it was like porn hub, porn hub, porn hub, sex with Emily, like ask Emily, and there was like porn out, you know, porn. So I'm thinking that it's because of the rise in porn, consumption that people are like, guys are like,

oh, huh, maybe I'll try it. This is from Sean in 19, in Ohio. Hey, Dr. Emily, I've been master reading since I was 15, but for the last two years, I've thought about eating my own come, but I don't have the strength or confidence to do it. I tried all kinds of acts to eating it. The first time I tried was in the middle of the night

when I was in my bedroom. I took all my clothes off, including my shirt, shorts, and my underwear. Crawled into my bed, naked, and was already feeling turned on. I used a little bit of lube, started planking myself, and I put my legs in the air over my head. I closed my eyes, but did over my head. I closed my eyes But did not have the confidence to open my mouth and as I came I had calm on my own face I

Try it again the same way but the second time I was again pictures of naked women on my phone for inspiration But that didn't work either. I don't know the confidence to open my mouth So please if you give me some advice and how to get confident with this, I'd be most thankful, thanks. Here's the most descriptive. He's really, you can tell that he's so driven, Shawn, and he just can't quite pull the trigger. And this is a common theme from a lot of you.

How do I do it? Should I do it? Is it okay? And I'm gonna read you another one. This is from Eddie37 in Canada. Love your show and it's really helped me explore, be comfortable with myself sexually and really help me talk things through with my wife

and we're currently having our best sex ever even after kids. Besides other fantasies, I have a come eating kink. I don't usually call it come, but for this sake, I'm gonna read you this verbatim. I say a jaculettes, we all are on the same page. But, or seen them. Why don't we talk about it that much? I've shared with my wife, she Dracula, it's, we all are on the same page. But, or seen him. I don't talk about it that much.

I've shared with my wife, she's a little grossed out as she hates to taste herself. I've eaten my own after masturbating, even straight into my mouth after watching videos. I really want to clean out my wife after sex, but she won't let me as she says, once she's gone and done, I can't touch her down there. How can I get her comfortable with me licking it

out of her and having multiple o's? Also, I'm't touch her down there. How can I get her comfortable with me licking it out of her and having multiple o's? Also, I'm sorry to have bicarious thoughts about tasting it from another source, but that can wait till another show. Thanks, Eddie. Then we have Steven 51 on Instagram. Is it unhealthy to eat my semen? Joe, I'll just show it 42 in Columbia.

I read a lot about the health benefits. They seem legit. Could you verify this? Then we've got Chris, 35 in Missouri. I'm 35. I've had a fantasy about going down to my wife and tasting it. It goes on and on and on. So let's talk about it, right?

We've never talked about it on the show. So the first thing is people want to know, is this crazy? Am I normal? What do you think? Is this something that like, oh, am I just, am I, is it gonna kill me? What's gonna happen?

So first off, you have to know that the most normal thing about sex is that you all want to know if you're normal. So really like statistically speaking, I can say like, okay, so this is a normal question, statistically speaking, because I get asked it a lot. It's also completely acceptable. And in fact, not every guy wants it, but if you do, nothing wrong with you.

Also, if you want to know, is it safe? Absolutely. It is safe to eat it, safe for your partner to eat it. You can eat it too. Now, the other thing is the only reason why it's not safe is you have to always watch out for STIs. So if there's an STI, if you just had sex with your partner and you know, whoever you're with, then it could transfer to you.

So that's when we have to be careful because if you ingest it, if you ingest the semen, then you could become infected. But let's say you're not infected. Like let's say you're not. So to answer it, I can go by this. What are the other questions people ask me? Can you change the taste of it? I mean, here's a thing about this.

You are what you eat. And so I know this, if you are smoke and cigarettes, and you are eating really unhealthy diet, a lot of greasy fatty foods, and all the things that you know, you diet, a lot of greasy, fatty foods, and all the things that you know. You're taking a lot of medication. It is going to have an impact on your semen.

Just like if you eat asparagus and you can smell that, right, and you're in, it's the same kind of thing. Now, it's not that if you just eat a pineapple tonight, tomorrow it's going to be better. This is an ongoing, you know, you want to, you know, just change to a healthier diet, include like vegetables and lots of greens and fruits and stuff. So that's also important. What you eat. And a lot of you call in like, okay, I have a list here, celery, parsley, wheatgrass, cinnamon, pineapple, papaya, oranges.

But that's not just again, it's not like a one-time fix or one-time thing, but I think overall having a healthy diet is super important, especially for our sexual functioning. And so we can just answer Sean's question about like, well, how do I do it? I mean, I'm not a guy, but I can tell you this, that you could just ejaculate in your hand, you could put it in something and then lick it from there. I'm just thinking like, just taste it. I mean, just it's there, it comes out in your hand, lick it off your hand.

See what it goes, see how it tastes. I think it's very sweet that he's trying to get his positioning right where his legs are tossed over his head and he's trying to taste it. Yes, Marisa. I mean, I'm just curious to you. I wonder what the mental block is or what the hangup is that men have because women are doing it for them,

or not to be, their partners are doing it for them. They're partners, right? So even if it is a male partner, if it is, you know, someone else, if it's another person, no one has a problem with swallowing it, but what's wrong with it yourself, right? I think it's like shame, taboo. And I think also all of our, all of our Jack-let-sex

gets such a bad rap. It's like everything is gross or messy. If a woman squirts or a guy comes and all they're told about their seeming probably is like, oh, it tastes bad or I have to do, you know, it's, there's a lot of shame around it. And I think that if they've never tasted it, they assume that it's like this terrible tasting thing or maybe they have a partner that told them that.

I think it's part of it. And also clearly, we don't hear about it that much because I'm telling you I, I didn't get this question. We searched all of our email. I did not get this question. So I would know, is this important? You can even just tell me, I'm curious because I haven't, I, that's, I, I, I, I, telling you I didn't get this question. We searched all of our email. I did not get this question. So I would know, is this important? You can even just tell me, I'm curious, because that's not the porn that I'm watching,

but I have to think that so many things, like even the rise in anal sex, which was not a question 12 years ago, is because of porn. So I'm thinking that this is the new porn darling is men wanting to taste themselves. And the truth is, you guys, it's not, I don't know, I've just been someone who's, if you're with a sexist messy, it doesn't maybe always, it doesn't go the way you want it, or maybe

it's not everything that you know, that you want to taste or you want to, but that's just part of sex. And I don't think it's, I never had a problem with Seaman, to be honest. It was never my enemy. This was actually one of my first shows I remember. Maybe it was like show four or five. My friend came on and he was, my friend Ed, I'll never forget this. This was the early on and he was like, do you spit or swallow?

And I said, swallow. I was like, I didn't even know there was an option. I think I just thought if you're giving a blow job, like good girl, like that's, to give a good blow job, you will swallow. And he's like, that's so you, like, you know, A-student, whatever. And he's like, but he's like, I feel that it's, it's so intimate, that if someone did that

and it was just like the first time I was with them or something that it feels very personal. And I don't know if I would want that with every blow job. I thought that was interesting. So I did it and I thought, I I thought, you know, you just swell. I mean, I never was, what were you gonna go spit, get up with a bathroom,

I just seemed like the right thing to do. And it never bothered me. I never got sick for a minute. You can be allergic to it, but it's very rare. You know, that's what you do. Amber, thank you Amber. I need to have 44 in Ohio. Tell me about common and men eating their own ejaculate.

Tell me everything you know. Hey Dr. Emily, so my husband has always eaten his own when he's masturbating and he told me very early on, I have no problem with it. He says it's easier cleanup, you know. That is true. That is one of the benefits. You don't have to, you just kind of lick it up, fall asleep.

You don't have to get up and walk, right. Yeah. Did you ever see him do it? Has he ever have you ever been there when he does it? Or he just like gives you the dialect? We've done mutual masturbation and he's done it then. I have no issue with it. I think a lot of men feel ashamed of it that they think that maybe people will think they're gay because they want to taste cum or something like that. But to me it's no problem and I think a lot of other women may feel the same. I agree with you Amber. I think that we do. And I think that I think yeah I think you're right. Why would we be upset? Although although we said that here that this you know his wife didn't want him to. Eddie.

Right. Right. She's not comfortable. And sometimes I think it's because we maybe women think that we don't taste good after that. Like if they go down on us and they come inside of us, then if he goes down on me afterwards or you know her is wife that she's like, no, or maybe she's got shame in like, oh, that makes you gay. We have all these things you guys a sex act does not make you gay. It's about who you're having sex with. But anyway, thank you Amber. Yeah, I wanted to thank you because you've opened up a lot of conversations. I'm so glad Amber. That makes me happy, thank you. We started using a lot more toys. We got some prostate,

like plugs, and we've started using those in a cock ring because we were having some trouble with premature ejaculation. Okay. We're working on that and the cock ring because we were having some trouble with premature ejaculation. Okay. But we're working on that and the cock ring is helping and just different toys to take as mind also coming to you quickly. That's great. And that's a thank you. Of course, it makes me so happy.

It's so good to talk to you. Keep trying new things, right? We can still stuck in our ways sexually, but like spice it up, right? I mean, how long have you guys been together? I'm 17 years. OK, right. Good. Amber, that's awesome.

Congratulations. I love hearing about couples who've been together, and they're like, I'm going to step it up. We're going to try something different. Keep it interesting. Exactly. Yeah. And your outcome could be something totally different, right?

Hey, why not? Why not? Why not? What else are you going to do this weekend? We're home quarantine. Try it out. Thank you, Amber. So awesome here for you.

I need to let you go. I'm jargon of truck and I'm almost to where I need to go. Okay, be safe, Amber. We'll talk to you soon. Thank you. Of course, thank you. Vic, hi, Vic. He's been his 50s.

Vic. Hello, Vic. Tell 50s. Vick. Hello. Hello, Vick. Tell me everything. No. Well, you know, I was just, I just came across her show and I was listening to it. I thought, well, what the heck? I'll chime in.

But like, years ago when I was in my 20s, I was curious about this in the early 30s. So I did it and I was like the same with the other guy where I just kind of closed my eyes and then I would end up just coming back to me to go and then eventually I just said well I'm just going to go for it but it's not really much happened I mean it doesn't taste like much of it really wasn't that big of a deal but so what I always found is that Rayland's that Rayland I come I don't not want him anymore so then I try to like I was like I was like okay I don't not want to eat more. So then I try to like, I was like, okay, I don't want it on my face.

You know what I mean? So I kind of just like doing it because that's the way it happened. You're like, I'm done. I'm going to sleep. This is over. So it's one of the key I have. Even when it's coming out, you're like, okay, I don't want it on all of my meat. But as far as going on down your girl or your wife, or whatever that is, that's a good way to do it.

Like instead of just trying to go be gay, like that one guy said, just, it doesn't, it's not gay. You don't have to be your wife, but then wait 10 minutes and then go down there. You don't have to wait and it doesn't make you gay. We were saying it doesn't make you gay. It's not a gay thing,

but people think everything's a gay thing if that's through the pain to be on like penetration they're like oh it makes me gay if I want something in my pro in my prostate like no it just makes you smart makes you educated realizing that you can have pleasure well that one guy said that he was thinking about going to a man oh yeah he might be bisexual right oh we got to we got to address his question too thank you for bringing me back, Vic. I appreciate it. And thanks for your call.

Yeah, you appreciate that. All right, Vic, have a great night. Thanks for calling. I think we gotta get back to Eddie because he's right. He's gonna talk about being bisexual in the next show. But I said in his next email, how do you get comfortable?

He wants to know how he gets his wife comfortable with me licking it out of her after having, you know, mutt wargasms. And again, I think it's just like all the all the things I tell you about. How do you get your partner comfortable with anything is actually having a neutral conversation outside the bedroom, not saying like, why won't you let me do that? I just, you know, I want to taste it. But just saying, what is it about them? Curious? I know that we've talked about it. And I've been wanting to do that. What what is it about them? Curious? I know that we've talked about it and I've been wanting to do that. What is it about it that makes you not comfortable? And then you start to get your answers. Or she's like, oh, well, I feel like it's bad for you. Or it's not sanitary. You know, then you could say, well, I heard Dr. Emily say it's

actually not. If we don't have STDs. Or maybe she feels, she feels like she doesn't feel sanitary down there. And tell her you're fine, and she's fine. You remember that the vagina is a self-cleaning of it. That's where it cleans itself. So there's all these, you know, we have a national acidic levels, we keep, we're good. So we don't have to worry about that. Oh, the other thing is the health benefits.

So here's the thing, there are some health benefits. Studies have shown that there are like mood enhancing qualities to it. It can help with your skin. It can help with depression. It can help with. But let me tell you this. You're going to have to ingest a lot of semen.

You're going to have to be collecting it for it actually to have that kind of impact. I don't know how you'd collect that much, but you could. But this is all inconclusive studies. But however, what if it does? What if you try it? That's a benefit. Great. But I don't think that's why we're doing it.

I think it's more of a something that we just thought, why not? I have my partner taste it. Why don't I taste it? Maybe turn yourself on. It's all fine here at sex with Emily. Let's talk to Mike 63 in Wyoming. Hi, Mike. Thanks for calling.

What's going on? You're welcome. I was trying to interfere. My introduction to it was with my wife of 42 years after she gave me a blowjob one time that she come up and just kissed me with it till in her mouth. And that's how I was introduced to it and up into that time I just thought it was taboo too for a man you know right I come to find out it doesn't taste bad at all it's really a little bit salty exactly that's a bad wrap it really does get a bad wrap Mike yeah I know I would have born given it one but But after that time, and this happened about 25 years ago. So, it is happened several times since then.

Okay, and you were fine with it. Yeah, a little bit hot, right? Something a little different. Yes, yes, it was. I guess you called it a pleasant surprise. Exactly. You don't know what's going to happen next. 42 years, you know? You know, I guess you called it a pleasant surprise. Exactly. You don't know what's going to happen next.

42 years, you know? Who knows? I know. I love him, Mike. You're right. Okay. Which is a good thing. Keep your head on toes.

Thank you, Mike. Thanks for calling. Appreciate you. You can find me online at sexwithamlee.com and on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook at sexwithemily.com and on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook at Sex With Emily. Find me money through Friday, 5 to 7 Pan Pacific on serious XM stars for even more sex talk, calls and interviews. Was it good for you? Email me.

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