Sex With Emily - Casual Sex vs Making Love with Jessa Hinton

Episode Date: January 1, 2016

Happy New Year, lovers! To ring in 2016, Emily welcomes fellow blogger, podcaster and former Playmate Jessa Hinton to the show. The two talk about their sexual pasts and relationships present, and discuss better dating practices for the new year.Emily and Jessa also take to your emails, providing advice to help you find success in sex and dating in 2016. Whether you’re dealing with attachment issues, oral sex fears or detecting flirtation from a possible love interest, Jessa and Emily have the tips to point you in the right direction as you pursue your future romantic goals. There’s nothing like the expertise of two strong women to kick off a new year, and this show has it in spades! Break old patterns and blaze new trails this year with help from Jessa Hinton and Sex With Emily! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily, Happy New Year's lovers. On today's show, we're focusing on better sex and dating practices for the new year. I've got fellow blogger and podcaster Jessah Hinton. Her podcast has anything goes with Jess Hinton, and she's in the studio to talk about all things love, sexuality, toys, and more. Thanks for listening. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that lock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on day.

Hey, Emily. You got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The world's got to understand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Emily?

What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my God, I'm off here. I'm so gone. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know Emily's not the kind of girl

you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com. You can check out our podcast, our blogs, our videos. We update that goddamn site every day. Oh, and we have a new website, like launching this moment. So check that out as well. And send it for a mailing list,

because we give really good emails. And I love you all. Happy New Year, thanks for listening. And I'm here with Menace. Hello. Hi. It has been a while. I know.

And last time I saw you recorded the live show, which was amazing, by the way. It was so much fun. Thank you. I know. I'm really glad I was just having, you know, a few panic attacks beforehand. Oh, yeah. I was there to witness it. I know. I was in the green room. I was nervous because I was giving like a monologue. Yeah. So men is getting there. So hi, Jess. So Jess and Jess is awesome. She's got a new podcast at podcast one. You usually sit in

this chair. I do. And you're so feel free to jump in at any time because we're going to get to all of your stuff as well. And we need to so 10 years in podcasting. Congratulations. Thank you. We like started the very first year podcasting, which was weird and amazing. Who knew what the hell would be. But we also did a live show on CBS six months after. I got a live show on CBS radio and I met Menace. He was working there. Hello. Hello. And that's Menace Chesa. And yeah, so I do live show to commemorate it at the improv. And I was nervous because I was doing a monologue, like a 30-minute monologue. And in my mind, oh, it was supposed to be 20, but it was 30. And then I'm going to

memorize it, and I'm going to jump up. But then I'm a procrastinator, and I have intense anxiety around that. And then it was like last minute or in the green room, like 10 minutes before the show and my papers were fought because I couldn't memorize it. And menis was just like trying to be nice and supportive But then he's kept getting on his phone. Well, I just kept on getting annoyed I'm like you're gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine and then after the 10th, you know panic attack I was over it I think you're a guy thing to do

Right, okay, why because if I get sit there and console her the entire time He's not gonna make absolutely zero different. She's still gonna have the same Okay, why because if I get sit there and console her the entire time I'm gonna make absolutely zero different. She's still gonna have the same type of mood So sometimes we just need you to listen. Yeah, and just be there. No people around there listening to no and they Gary Beauty, uh, yeah, yeah, it was very random Random night random. Yeah, oh, hi. He's like oh you the sex girl. I'm like yeah, I'm about to go do metal life downstairs Yes, hi. Yeah, she's in the middle of panic panic attack and then so we're at the Hollywood improv and Here comes Gary Busy just walking up the stairs into the room. Yeah, and it was pretty funny The doctor drew is there. He was very kind of on support of two

He's like Emily. Don't worry. It's a very forgiving room And I was like what does that mean? Forgive me for fucking off. Thank you very much. It was great, but I think my favorite moment of the night, I don't want to give away too much, but okay, if you guys want to hear it, everyone's like emailing us, it's coming out in a few days, January 5th. Yeah, and the podcast will be the live show. My favorite moment is a very long, long time emailer came to the show and we put them on stage and that was absolutely amazing.

Jamal. Because it was actually serving in the military and he'd been emailing us for five, six, seven years. Yeah. All the time. Like he was in Iraq, I think, right? And he was, he'd always email us, we'd always answer him, Jamal, we give him shout outs. And then in the middle of the show, so I got through the monologue, thank God.

And then I'm going to sit in there. Am I going to be doing with the podcast? I thought about it. But it was funny and you were awesome though. Thank you And you and Anderson were there Anderson's my other co-hosts They'd never met so that's weird because I do two different shows that was another drama not drama, but interesting Collusion that's word come together Anyways, so then I care about our stories so so so um we have my and she does Yeah, she looks so interested.

I'm the newbie, so I'm learning as we're talking. She looks really interested. So then, we're sitting there in the middle and Madison, producer Madison, bring the questions from the audience and once from Jamal. And I thought it was like, fate. I'm like Jamal, zero. No way. And then he came up on stage and it was great. It was a beautiful night.

You have to hear it. Check out the show totally so Let me ask you about the holidays though. Did you go anywhere? No, no, I tried to I thought about it But I just really like hung out Meditated, yeah, you know when you're Jewish. It's like thank God no one's gonna bother me for a few days Wait, I can do stuff. I can do nothing and not care. Is the guy you're dating is he Jewish? No, no, but you know how to see his family. How disappointed was your mother? I can do nothing and not care. Is the guy you're dating, is he Jewish? No. No, but he wouldn't have to see his family. How disappointed was your mother to find out?

She's a care. And if she's a doctor and he's not Jewish, damn. No, no, no, no, no. She didn't care at all. My mom's chill. I'm just glad you like someone for a while. Oh, geez. But you'd be really proud of me.

I actually, so, just, I'm going to know how you feel about it. Because you're in a relationship, right? Yes. Okay. So, how long have you been with your boy? Very new, two months. know how you feel about it, because you're in a relationship, right? Yes. Okay. So, how long have you been with your boy? Very new, two months. Oh, okay, so it's new. Yes. Yeah, that is new.

Okay, that's good. That's good to talk about. So, I've been dating for like a year on and off, but we haven't been, we've been committed for a few months, and I'm not a huge commitor, like, at all. Open relationships, not really great, but actually, someone actually really like,

and one of my issues, which I wasn't even gonna talk about, but I'm looking at you, okay, I should, is that women like comp, I like compliments. How do you feel about that? Do you? I actually am not good at receiving them at all. I think my boyfriend, he compliments me all the time and I say he's full of shit.

It's actually something I need to work on. Oh, really sweet. He's like, you look hot baby, you're fine. Yeah, and I'm like, it'll be with no makeup on too. I'm like, you're fucking lying. Yeah. You look happy. Yeah. And I'm like, it'll be with no makeup on too. I'm like, you're fucking lying. No, why are you?

I just, I'm not, well, I give a lot, but I'm not good at receiving them at all. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's interesting. So, well, I like them. They make me feel really good. I just, like, every once in a while. Like, I put effort in.

Uh-huh. And so, I said to them, I've said, listen, I, it just once in a while, you could like, just say, you know, hey, you look good. You look like, you know, and if, even if you don't think it, maybe you could just say it. So you told them that I did. Dude, I'm getting so good at communicating, which is what I talk about. And all the time is communicating. Sure.

Communications, allubrication, but yet what was it? What was this response? He looked at me. I said, listen, maybe you're like menace. Menace thinks I said you were in our conversation. I said menace thinks that you can't tell bitches what they do. If you say to them, you look hot all the time. They already know it, and they're just

going to think that they have you wrap around the finger, which is stupid. Which is absolutely true. If that's the reason why you're not telling me, that's bullshit, so tell me. And then, but maybe you're not thinking that. Just tell me anyway. That's how we got out. And then you said, do you understand you know who

you're with? Like that's my lifeblood. I need compliments. I'm so curious. I just live off of compliments. Just think you feel that. Tell me I'm having good relationship conversations. So that's awesome that I'm in them. Yeah, I know. You're a you're a don't though. Oh, a don't. Okay. Here's what not to do. OK. So that was fun. How about your holidays?

Great. I went to New Orleans. Well, I went to San Francisco first. Went to New Orleans and then Belize, Honduras, and Mexico a few times. You can check it all out on my Instagram right now. You can just create a traveler. Instagram.com.

Well, it's a menace. Sorry. I'll see my other radio show. Hashtag. Plus, slow that. Hashtag. Follow. In the new year, happy new year everyone. Okay, everybody, I need to tell you one thing. This toy I need to tell you about has been a game changer for my life. And so many of you have jumped on the intensity train. So we actually had a podcast on it called Sex Exploring a New U.

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forget this because I just want to get all into Jassaya and all of us is that January 16th and 17th in Los Angeles at the Universal Hilton Hotel there's the Sexual Health Expo and is the fourth one we've done in the last year. The first one was last January and we took it all over the country and it's the leading sex educators in the country for two days, talking like teaching workshops, like little mini one hours, and then like the latest and greatest sex toys. And then I think menace and I are gonna be there doing a live. I'll be there doing a live show.

Yeah. I'm not sure about menace. There's something with my work that I might have to be in New York, but they haven't told me the date yet. So if I don't have to be in New York, I will be there with you. Well, just gonna fill in fees. I mean, she'll be a thousand times better than me don't have to be in New York, I will be there with you. I was just gonna say. I mean, it should be a thousand times better than me anyway.

We'll talk after. I'll be right through it. You guys, if you wanna go to the Expo, email me, feedback at sexwithelmie.com, tell me why you wanna go, and we'll give you a ticket, each one is good for two people. So emails. I won't let you know about that.

So, hi, Jess. Hello. How are you? Tell us all about you and your new in your podcast. I love it. I think we just recorded our 16th episode. Congratulations. Thank you for having me, podcast one. Yeah, pretty much is anything goes.

So we talk a lot about sex and relationships. And I'm no expert. So it's actually nice to sit here because sometimes I feel like I'm fucking crazy. But then I'll get fans like right in like no I think that too. So being very open-minded I understand with your whole committing thing that was my issue. Really? But being open-minded I feel that I can touch base with a lot more open-minded people. It just people aren't really comfortable coming out first and saying like oh well I this turns me on or you know I hate when my boyfriend does this until I say something, they're like, that's me too. So you give them the freedom, you make them feel comfortable that there's someone else

out there like them, who's searching it. Pretty much, yeah. And yeah, when I started, I was not the expert, and I still sometimes, I'm like, really, you know, but sometimes I just felt like if you, if something's true to you, and you just say it, like there's going to be other people who are, you know, aligned. So they're there. Yeah, they're vibing with that. So it's at, so Instagram, Twitter and Facebook, it's at

Jessahinten. Yes, but that's the way. G-S-S-A-H-I-N-T-O-N, and then your podcast, anything goes with Jessahinten. So, wait, what's your background where you're from? Born and raised here, actually. Oh, really? It looked in Vegas a few years.

Yeah, and Jess recently got into, I guess, the industry, later on, Playboy had found me at 27, which is like grandma years for playboys. Yeah. Because you were that hot. And just had a kid. And just got, yeah, just got me and my husband separated. So it was kind of like the year of me, like kind of like just coming into my own. And throughout like my adolescence, I was more of a tomboy. I played with more GI Joe's than Barbies. I never really owned being a woman as much as I do now. I still dress like this. I don't really care. But when I did Playboy that kind of like open doors as far as like okay well once in a while I can get dressed up and get the compliments. You

know and feel like a lady but that was one of the biggest things that I've done was Playboy and I'm grateful for them and I just do a lot of other things now. And your big thing was that you were the first bisexual playmate. Correct. But you think that there would have been a bisexual playmate before. What you're with. Everybody is bisexual with Patrone or a vodka. That's why I was saying.

Do you think that saying that for 10 years is true? And you know it's weird as even my most female Viagra. It is. Yes, see. It is. That's true. Finally, the one thing that you say thatagra. It is, it is. Yes, see. It is. That's true. Finally, the one thing that you say that I agree with so far has been this. Yes.

No, a lot of girls claim to be bisexual, but haven't had emotional relationships with women. They've had sexual relationships, but I could see myself settling down with a woman the same as I could with a man. That being said, some of the women that I've been into have either been by as well, so they've kind of went more of the mail road or they've been crazier than most men that I've dated. So with Playboy, I think I actually made out

with a bunch of playmates at the parties. And again, I was sober. They were drunk. Oh. Are you sober now? Are you sober? I am sober. So you didn't even need a tequila?

No, no, no. When I hook up, it's because I want to not be cursed. Right, exactly. So are's you didn't even need a tequila. No, no, no, when I hook up It's because I want to right exactly that so are you are you still bisexual? Yeah, I mean obviously like I mean, so you and your partner you're got your new boyfriend of two months. Yes very new and So how did you meet them? Actually through Instagram what the last few relationships that I've had that have been serious Have been from social media and he gets so mad that I've had that have been serious have been from social media And he gets so mad that I say it because it sounds

No, that's the world. No, that's how people are meeting these days But it's especially when you don't have time to go out and date like I don't I don't have time So I saw a picture of him and I was like he's hot. I knew somebody that thank you I knew somebody that knew him and I said hey, what's his deal? She forgot to tell me his age. So I clicked with him right away and within the first few dates, he had mentioned something because he's from Iran. And he had mentioned something that when he came over here, they called him Borat in junior high. And I'm like, junior high Borat. I'm like, how old are you? And he goes, how do you think? I'm like,

I don't know, 29, 30, because I'm 31. What? He goes no younger, and I'm like, how young? And he goes, I'm 22. And I was like, check please, like, really? And I couldn't help it. Like, he's very mature for his age, for even a 30 year old. So we just kind of kept going. And I don't ever run into the age issue,

unless I'm telling people our age. Besides that, I see no difference in age. So. Okay, that's good. So it's vibing. You're right. Age is only a number. Yeah, it's very rare though.

It all checks out too online because what people put on mine is what they saw. Right. You got it's cute on Instagram, but maybe he's, you know, dish-backed. I was expecting that and I was okay with that because I just got out of a very serious relationship. So I was looking kind of for the rebound and he was so pretty so I'm like, oh he's gonna be an idiot

And I'm hoping I was hoping for that and our dinner turned into a three hour dinner And we hung out almost every single day since but it was the committing like do I want to commit right now I just got out of relationship and I wanted to just date and be open and I was dating a girl at the time I was dating another girl at the time. I was dating another guy at the time. And it kind of just like fell into place where we're like, well, we don't really want to fuck anybody else. So then you guys are just fucking each other now. Yes.

So what about, do you think eventually you might open up and want to like bring another woman in? He's not into that. No, his culture. He doesn't understand. You know, it's weird is he found a toy in my room. And first of all, toys for him is like why do you need it? And for me, I'm 31, I've had lots of toys

and so it's kind of to stroke his ego and be like, it's, you're fine, it's just sometimes I want different or sometimes I just want to take care of myself. But to him, he doesn't understand how females can have sex. He doesn't get it. Right, he's young. So I think maybe he had as many partners. I think also the culture, you know,

right from Iran. Oh my God. He understands, because we live in Los Angeles, and he understands homosexuality. But I think he understands more guys and why they, he thinks girls are confused, I believe, when they hook up. So that being said, I've never really had a threesome. I don't think I've ever really wanted to.

Okay. And out of all my friends, I thought I'd be the first one too. Yeah. No, I'm a very selfish lover. Like when I'm with somebody and I'm with them committed, like that's mine and I'm theirs. And I like that about myself. That being said, I don't think in the future

if I was in a marriage for 10 years, maybe I need to spice it up. I'm not throwing it out of the window. Exactly. But right now, there's no interest in me.. I'm not throwing it out of the window. Exactly. Right now, there's no interest in me. And the sex is really good with him. Yeah. I'll put out the toys.

Yeah, that's the one thing. It's like, if I go to reach in my drawer, he's just like, no, like, why? And I'm just like, fuck, so it kind of kills him at a little bit. Right. I say, don't, but you should just put out his balls and be like, oh, that feels good.

Oh, I've tried. Like, the one thing that we've, I don't know if he's going to kill me for saying this. I don't give a shit, oh, that feels good. Oh, I've tried. Like, the one thing that we've, I don't know if he's gonna kill me for saying this, I don't give a shit, is we have the ring with the, you put on, yeah, with the vibrating. That's the one thing to where he's like, okay, like that's the good way. Yeah, that's the best.

Yeah, the easing in, but he won't go with me to a sex store. He feels weird going in there. Right. But the girl that I used to date, I was the first girl that she had slept with. Okay. So it was kind of like the female crash if I were to ever hook up with a girl be you. And we actually fell for each other.

And we were all about like toys and trying this. And I felt kind of cool because I got to show her like the different things that I've tried. So it went from one extreme to the other. Like to, I was just dating her and to going like, Hey, I really want to go to a sex store this and that. And she just goes, no, like why? He doesn't go to strip clubs. He's a great guy.

But when it comes sexually later on, I feel like we would need to really have a talk. Absolutely, yeah. Because right now we're cool, but. The first few months is always the two months with a bat, like six months of the bust. Unfortunately, I mean, it's true. Things can get the year, six months

for a year, might want to spice it up. So it's not that you require toys then to have orgasm, right? I mean, do you? I mean, he knows, it's way easier for me to when I use a toy. And I just watched a bit of Cat Williams where he says we're fucking up our vaginas

because we're taking the little bullets and stuff to our clit and we can get off in 20 seconds. And then it's like harder for the dunes. It's like, come on, I could have used my toy. And it is true. The more that I say for years. The more that I- The more that I- I guess ever.

She's not- I do honestly I do think like a dude way more than I do a female and that's an issue too within a relationship that I have to work on. I do know I think I can do too. So I would rather and this is sad like I would rather take care of myself within the five minute mark before I have to go to work or go run errands, then block out a half an hour and hour of trying to get off.

Like for me personally, it does make more sense. That sucks and I do love the emotional connection that I have with the guy, but I mean, I've definitely faked it to get it over with. I've definitely, no, not with him, but in the past. And it's also the whole I have a headache, like I feel like so cliche, oh, me headache. No,, but in the past. And it's also I've the whole I have a headache like I feel like so cliche. Oh, I mean, headache. No, I didn't have a headache. It's just I knew I wasn't gonna get off because I had a stressful day. It just wasn't gonna happen.

So I don't want to I don't want to fake it for you. So I'm just not gonna do it. Right. So then you just don't orgasm with them, but you're happy about your connection. I think eventually you're gonna might have to bring well, I like that you're using the cock ring because that has a little literal has the vibrator on it. it You hit your clitoris. Yeah He's very and younger guys too. I found well, this is all I'm only a one exception He's very eager like and he has like the great stamina, which is awesome But he he's so cute. He goes. I don't think I've ever like made love like he doesn't because for him He's 22. He's never really been in like a super serious relationship

And he goes can you teach me and I'm like I don't I you can't teach how to make love You can we have great sex and and we definitely are emotionally connected But when you make love to somebody it's very different and like I was gonna sit there and be like watch me Joe black or watch You know all of these like rom coms or these like sappy emo Movies, but you still can't fake it so he's such a good guy and I want so much for us. It's just, it's only time we'll tell. Right, exactly. And how would you describe making love?

I, it's hard. No, I, because I've been talking, it's like intimacy, it's looking, you know, looking to the other's eyes, connecting, touching, or maybe you're just in love and then you're making love when you're not. Well, because he said he goes, how do you not? Because it's very passionate. When we have sex, it's passionate. And I couldn't think about how to like break, because he said he goes, how do you not, because it's very passionate, when we have sex, it's passionate.

And I couldn't think about how to break it down, but he goes, how is this not making love when you love the other person? I'm like, and again, he goes, so you've made love to other people, and I'm just like, fuck, like, it was just such a buzz killer after sex, because he goes, how is this not making love?

I'm like, well, it's not. And he goes, well, this shitty, you know what that is, and you can't tell me. The first thing I would have said is speed. I don't feel like it's making love when you're fucking like, Jack Hammer. Like, that's not me. And I love exactly. Like, we look in each other's eyes. The passion is there, but it's this feeling that you cannot explain. And that's what such a shitty thing. You could love somebody and be in love with somebody. The sex might be off or just like, it was passionate but more rough.

So you're just like, well, we had great sex, but if somebody were asked me, did you guys just make love? It would have been like, no, that's not what that was. Exactly, now I get it. Well, hold on. I mean, what is great sex to you though? If you're like, God, that was great sex. What would, how would you define that?

You know, for me, it's hard. Like, I've actually, my therapist was actually a sex therapist. So I got to talk to her about everything. And for me, it is more of an intimacy issue to where I can have great sex with somebody and just be disconnected. And that's safer for me, and I like that.

It's the whole looking into each other's eyes. It's the vulnerability that I'm just like, I'll pass on that. Like, I'd rather have great sex and ask homey to leave after, then to have you stay and cuddle me afterwards and stuff. So great sex to me would be the before, you know, the, the, the, the,

play, you know, the like us having sex and then you going because, because I, I don't know how to, how to handle the after of that. Like, I don't know how to handle with him. Like. Like I don't know how to handle with him, like we basically almost live together, so it's different, but before I know, like I never had that words, you can stay over, I'm gonna cook for you in that.

It's like, no, we did a great deal. So if you bring out a nurturing, yeah, I'm hard to knew. So you wanna like nurture him and like take care of him in a way. Could be the age. Could be the age too. I'm being a seven year old.

I'm just like, seven year old boy. Yeah. Any live with you? Yes. Okay. Yeah, to you. I'm a seven year old. I'm just like seven year old boy. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Any letter to you? Yes. Okay. Wow. Yeah. So you're also a mom. How's that for him? That's also another touchy subject. Right. I never believed in my 20s about the clock ticking. I never believed that. And also because I had my son, I felt like I kind of went through that. I got married. I had my son. I'd be okay with not doing that again because I already went through it. So when I kind of went through that. I got married. I had my son. I'd be okay with not doing that again

Because I already went through it So when I started when I turned 30 I would see babies like and miss the age of you know him being a baby, but not wanting more kids Soon as I hit 31 it was like something that I kept avoiding and I was just like oh, no You don't want kids. Oh, and I didn't want it because I was comfortable with my situation. I was okay with that But when I hit 31 I was like why won't this go away? And it became such this like you know devil and angel on your shoulder You're just like no you don't but you know your body is telling you yes, and that shit is real So then you're thinking that you do want another one. I definitely do okay now now I do no matter how much I say I don't I do want more kids um and you do want another one. I definitely do. Now I do no matter how much I say I don't, I do want more kids. And have you guys seen the movie? Probably not. Nobody's

really seen it prime with Uma Thurman. Okay. Yeah. She's basically 37 dating a 23 year old. And the Jewish mother doesn't approve because she's not Jewish. And at the end of the movie, spoil alert, they date, they fall in love. He offers to give her a kid because she wants one and at the end of the movie She says I couldn't do that to you because I love you so much and they part ways So for me that's what I thought like and I wanted to tell them please watch this But I'm like oh he's gonna leave this with a bad feeling But it's something that we can't

Force age I was 23 when I had my son. So I mean I I could tell him like I want to keep your youth like as much as possible I had my son, so I mean, I could tell him like, I wanna keep your youth as much as possible. So the 20 was about, she was too young, I don't wanna do this to yet. Yes, that's pretty much what, and they had so much passion and love, and their situation was great to where you root for them, but it does make sense to where you want their 20s,

not to make the same mistake you did, but I do tell all my girlfriends, like wait till you're 30, because who I was at 20 is very different than who I am now. It's so hard to have a kid, so you had it so young. It's like, it is, yeah, you will realize that, you know? Yeah, at 21 I was married. So it's like with him, he tells me,

he's like, you can't talk to me like this, because you did the same thing. What if somebody told you that? And I'm like, I wouldn't listen, but I'm like, I want to shake him, and be like, don't say that you want something serious right now, because this is where you should, like he's gorgeous. He should be out dating tons of people and then I mean probably if we talked when he's 30 I'd be already you know taken and with kids, but for him there's so much that he should be doing and if I were him

I would just be doing so then you guys are together, but you're also saying it I don't know if this is gonna work because I think I'm gonna want children. On my end, and he's trying to tell me, well, then we do that. And it's like, no, I'm gonna go and do, and that's exactly what the movie is. Where he's telling her, like, let me do this. And she's just like, I want it with you, but I can't do that.

So even two months though, so I just wouldn't rush into it. But it's gonna happen. No, no, no, no, no, it happens, right? I think you're not. You don't wanna break somebody's heart and make them believe something, and then you just be like, well, you should have saw the red flag.

It's like the open communication for me is like, this could happen. So just go through this with eyes open, I tell them, it's just day by day, don't plan the future. You're talking, right? And you gotta keep talking. Yeah, it's a communication. Right, and I do have a dog in the meantime.

I do have a dog and I hate her. You do why? I do. I know. She's a tic-up shitsu, I hate her. Can you give her way to a shelter? My son loves her way too much. And I'm nice to her on his behalf, but I really like her.

Why is she disenoying? Or is she spying? Yeah, I got her because he asked for sibling and I said, you get a dog. And they bonded quickly. But when he's not there, she's just, she's the kind of dog that will look you in the eye while she's shitting on your carpet. And she's that dog. Oh my god.

She's the reason those Sarah McLaughlin videos are fucking current right now because there are so many days that it's just like I want you to have one eye. Like I'm just like so mad. But the mother and me and the non animal abuse person that I am, just like I'm like all right well I'm gonna tell you know and then put you you know in your kennel so I do all that bullshit like fuck. I know. It's like a dog. I got it. So well I'm gonna tell you know and then put you you know in your kennel so I do all that bullshit like fuck I know it's like a dog right I got it so no I do not want another dog good no dog I got it I mean maybe a cat yeah but no I think that yeah I think you're gonna figure this out that's good so um okay so what else we have here we have so many other things talked about

I want to know so you're in this relationship, but can we talk about the, I'm gonna go back to the bisexual thing from that. Sure, because I always have, and I've helped up a check, because I guess that would be bisexual, but not lately. Mm-hmm, I need to, could do that soon. At some point, again, but what would you say about having sex with women,

a woman having sex with a woman that you think that is something that we can impart like to audience through our listeners that you with men just don't really understand about being with women. I'm like, using women. What is the most misunderstood thing? I think that what a woman can offer that men really can't or they just don't understand how to as the sensuality.

I feel like men are more about the jackhammering and women are more about being sensual and actually paying attention. And because I don't think it's women know what women want, but it's a connection like your girlfriend. You would tell your girlfriend something that you wouldn't tell your guy friend. So it's kind of like you're more into exploring without judgment with a woman than I think you are about, or with a guy, because the guy's ego will get bruised.

That being said, the toys and like I would be more open with a girl than saying, hey, you want to first date? You want to pull this out there and be like, fuck no, a girl would be like, yeah, bring it. What else we got? What are you waiting for? What toys do you like? What do you favor? See the thing for me is I never put anything on the inside. Okay. Two reasons. So basically vibrate is on the outside. One or all? Yeah, exactly. One, I can't get off on the inside with the toy. It feels so foreign and it's just not I can't. It's gonna sound vulgar. I can't fuck myself like the inside with the toy. It feels so foreign and it's just not, I can't, it's gonna sound vulgar. I can't fuck myself like that.

It's not for me. And the second thing is, I was always worried about if I could get myself off, then I would never really wanna have sex with a guy into me see issues or whatever. Where it's like, oh, I'll just care if I go. The literal, I mean, that's the ones that are the most, and that's why you use it during intercourse

because most women just aren't getting enough for the most simulation. They just can't, the penis doesn't work that way. Your body, some of our bodies, just no matter how we move, we're just going to need a little. A little. Some something. No, some something. It's just so true. So yeah, which, which, which, literal toy do you like? I use the bullet. That's just so easy to travel with. And the reason why I bought the bullet, I was at the airport and I fucking put my toy in a sock like in a sock to like pack up And it was a carry on I was going to New York, I think and they opened it up and when they open it was like

Oh my god out of the socket went. Oh my god And so I was like, you know what? It needs to be like a little more compact and I just the bullet just saves my life So we'll just go with that. It does though. The bullet is awesome little tiny Yeah, yeah, it does. It's sure love the bullet. I have one. I we'll just go with that. It does though. The bullet is awesome. Little tiny little bullet. Yeah, it does. It's show up the bullet. I have one. I have one around my neck actually.

Yeah, you do. I have the Vespa. It's a vibrating necklace. I should have brought you one. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. What's the speed though? Okay, yeah.

I want to give this to you. I'm going to give you. It's called the Vespa by Crave. Check this out. It sounds legit. Hold on. I'm reaching over. Wow. That's nice. Okay., I'm reaching over here. Wow.

That's nice. It's hard to do USB. It's really cool. I told you about my old assistant back in San Francisco. We lived in the same building. And she asked me, oh, can you help me move this bed? And I was hovered and moved it. And then this thing fell on the ground.

And I pick it up. And I was like, oh, this thing looks kind of like a bullet. What is this? And then I hit the button and it started vibrating. That's amazing. Her whole face is turned red. You never want anyone else to be touching or knowing about our stories.

So that's a necklace though. It's a necklace and it charges USB. We'll open you one next time. It's from the Vesper by Crave. You can get it at goodbibes.com. And then it charges USB and you just plug it in. I know. And we're at a ren your neck all the time.

Yeah, all the time. So you're in the car. Yeah, you're just here. Good to go. Sometimes I have no water. I forget my ID, but like I've got my vibrator on my neck. So it's always a good day. Exactly.

I totally prioritize it. So that's good. I was wondering if maybe you could help us answer some emails from the listeners. I love to. After we give a big shout out to the people who make this show possible Which is what we're gonna do first? Mm-hmm, right Madison?

Okay, so how we're gonna do that is going to go there Okay speaking of orgasms and stuff I need to talk to you about the flashlight. Oh, this about the penis. Have you ever used a flashlight? No, male masturbation sleeve. Uh, no, but I've used the glow buddy, but tell me about the flashlight. Okay. So the flashlight is a male masturbation sleeve, so it looks and feels like the real deal. Mm-hmm. Has patented skin materials, so it feels like they're, they're penises inside of a vagina.

Sure. Or an anus, whatever they want. Huh? They have them a lot of them, like, they're modeled after porn stars, playmates, but they also do have ones that just look like a regular like, you know, they'd look non-descript, but it looks like a flashlight. It's a flashlight, it has a little cap on it, and, you know, we've got so many toys as we're saying, but men only have their hand.

And so if you use a flashlight, you can help you last longer and bad. They've got the stamina training unit. They've got the flashlight go, which is great for travel. And now there is the quick shot. So the quick shot is like the size of a camera lens. And so let's say, how do you feel about blow jobs, giving blow jobs or hand jobs? If I really like the guy, then I'm all about that. You're down.

Okay, you're about that life. She's in the blow job life. So the quick shot helps make it even easier because you can put it on as penis. You can order a hand job. And it's a little thing that goes around, like when your mouth is going up and down, it's a suction. It feels amazing. You use lots of lube with it. Guys love it. They go crazy. So if you want a flashlight, check it out. Go to sexwithemlee.com. Click on the flashlight banner. Use code Emily and you get a free bottle of their award-winning flesh lube. I love lube.

How do you go about lube? I just tried coconut oil. Oh, it was more of a production than it was an actual. It's not messy, it's not like coconuts. And in the back of my head, I think of like KY Jelly as loop only. So I'm like, is this going to make me burn? Is this like, so I'm just like, this is an experiment. Let's have fun. So rubbing it on each other was great. But in the back of my head, I was like, this is the first time.

I don't know how my body is going to react to it. Right. But it reacted fine. Yeah. Yeah. Because I was in the people, and a little bit of a looped stuff. I like it. But I'm coconut oil is great. And actually, I wouldn't use KY from the drug store, because I was in the people and a little bit a little aloeved stuff. I like it, but I'm coming. I was great. And actually I went

use K.Y. from the drugstore because it's not as good. Like the other brands, the ones that have a little more, like I like Slickwood or Pure, you know, they're a little more expensive, but they won't burn your vagina. Okay, well that's good. That's not bad. Yeah, I'll tell you. We should have brought a goody. We'll bring you one. Next time we come. Okay, we're gonna use the main mouth. All right. Okay, when thanks for emailing us feedback at sexwithme.com time we come. OK. We're going to use to me, Mel. All right. OK, everyone, thanks for emailing us feedback at sexwithemle.com. And we love hearing from you. And if you could just tell us how old you are

and where you are writing from, where you live, and how you listen to the job, we would love that. Dear Emily, how can I tell if a woman is being nice because of her job, or if she might be interested in me? I was in my local bank, and I had a a problem and the lady was helping me ask another lady to come over to help. The lady who came over was stunning, my dream girl. When I left the bank, I told her I owed her a cup of coffee for her help.

I asked her how she liked her coffee, she told me, so I told her I would surprise her and I would wait about my day. I came back later that afternoon with the coffee and we chatted a little. I've done this another time, three weeks later. What kind of signs would let me know if I should try to pursue her further? Thanks for your help, C. Ooh, that's a tricky one.

It's really tough. How do you know if a woman's interested or not? Did she throw away the cup of coffee? She's like, thanks, dude. I don't know. I know. See, I have a question too about that. So I'm with Hom homies question. My boyfriend

thinks of a girl just says hello back, the guy will take it as she's interested. So yeah, that's also a cultural thing to maybe, right? No, both of my access. Oh, both of them. Really? Because in our industry, I meet a lot of directors, male models, bubble-blah. And so if I am and I'm friendly, but not flirty. And the way that I say higher, the way that I interact, they tell me that it could be misinterpreted as being interested. And I'm like, no, no, no, but I have a boyfriend

and I tell them he goes, it doesn't matter. He goes, we take the slightest sign and you smile at us. And it's like, oh, well, if something doesn't work out with a boyfriend, then I'd be the first one that she calls. So I'm kind of confusing this because I feel like I'm naive when it comes to like this. Well, I think this is the first time I'm ever hearing this, but again, I don't hang out with a bunch of male models

where women might be interested in me if I just say hello to them, you know? Right. So that might, you might be in a different stratosphere than the average. She's in another stratosphere. I'm looking at the average person. No, if you're in line getting coffee and a guy bumps into you, says, oh, I'm sorry.

And you look back and you're like, oh, no problem. And he goes, how's your day? Oh, good. It's you continuing the conversation, even though you're just being polite, that the guy might be like, oh, we're still going. So as with this guy, he keeps bringing her coffee. I, for me, I would be polite and strike up conversation. But that doesn't mean them interested that being said

As a woman I don't really flirt or give sign so I don't know How I would say I would be upfront and be like you want to go out sometime for me. I would say that totally I think that he's like pussy footing around and he just needs to be like hey, so let's take this coffee You know now I want let's let's go to let's graduate to lunch. I love take you to lunch I think and then we'll get the answers. Should we be like, no, I'm not interested in a boyfriend or something. Right, and then you'll know.

And then you don't have to waste all your money on coffee. We're gonna bring this to coffee because you'll know. Because I think the signs are blurred because I think when I was reading this, like for me, I know that I'm a very friendly person and I'm always nice to everybody. I was like, oh hi, nice to meet you from the Midwest. I don't know if that's it.

But I often, it's often been confusing meet you from Midwest. I don't know if that's it. But I've often it's often been confusing to men where they think I'm flirting because I also am a little flirty. Yeah, I think I've gotten less flirty. So, do you think maybe I don't know. I know. You know, pay attention to that. Are you flirty just by nature? I am flirty because you are still open-minded and maybe things will happen. Kind of, but you know what, I think I'm flirty by nature because this has been since like, I was, you know, high school. You're like, oh, you're flirty. I what, I think I'm flirty by nature because this has been since I was high school. We were like, oh, she flirty. I'm just like a really, I like meeting men, women,

I'm open. And so I think that it can be misconstrued a lot. But I'm also not like an angry, like I'll say hi, if you say hi, I'll stick up a conversation, men, women. And so I think that it can be misread sometimes that women are interested. I think I just wanna look at any second. I hope she is, I'll go for that.

And so if they ask me out though, I'll be clear. I mean, like, no, you know, I'm gonna thank you so much. And in fact, since I've been doing this show for so long, I know that a lot of our listeners have the same exact question. Like, guys can't read the signs from women. And women can't read the signs from men. And then you hit your head like, you're like,

I didn't know you liked me. So I think you just gotta ask. You just gotta like, do you wanna go out? That's how you got your answer. Or and you're like, I didn't know you liked me So I think you just got to ask you just got to like do you want to go out? That's how you got your answer or you know, are you interested? So then you just don't waste time like worrying or not are being letting fear stop you to like guys like I don't want to be rejected. Well guess what? We're all gonna be rejected. Like that's part of life That's what makes you stronger and so just just go for it You know it's weird though is I feel like with all my girlfriends and I've asked them and you can, as a man, you can

say for your girlfriend, all my girlfriends so that they would rather their girlfriend be a bitch to other men rather than being sweet. And this is all my girlfriend. So if you're in line, said coffee line, and a guy looks over and you, you know, he says, oh, I'm sorry. And you just like give them like the knot and then go straight back.

It shows right away that you're not interested. And he said, that's because we don't want our girl to seem available, but also we don't want that guy to be kind of confused too. Like, oh, it is open for conversation. This has been, I've asked all of my guy friends and they said they would rather their girl be a bitch to any other man.

So it doesn't confuse the guy. And I'm like, I would feel so wrong. That's a bunch into me. And I don't say, like, oh, no, no, don't worry about it. I might like I would feel so wrong to me and I don't say like oh no No, don't worry about it. I might even like touch like they're showing me like it's okay And if you take that as like me advancing towards you, then it's like oh like that so we're feeling jealous I think for men like that's your boy's point of protect. Oh, no, not him like I'm saying my exes You're a guy from

Okay, that's a big bit extreme the only situation where I would probably want you to be a bitch If there's somebody that you know that I don't like and you're being nice to him that would it that would annoy me But just respect yeah, that's very rare because I could be nice And then if I see that they're coming on I'll just say you know I have a boyfriend and there's even been guys though since I've been doing the show That and I realized it so when you man have this issue issue and it's so hard for them to get up the curbs just to ask a woman out. I mean, we just hear that it can be paralyzing for men

for so many. And so when I've had guys ask me out, I've said, thank you so much for asking me, you know, no, I have a boyfriend or I'm not interested, but please keep asking women out. And like, don't let the speech discouraging. I think it's awesome how you did it. Like I give them feedback.

I don't want them to feel that bad. I give them a five-book notice kidding. But I'm like, keep going. Like that's good for you. Because it's really hard. I didn't know that. That it's traumatizing for men. That's okay.

It is pretty much. I didn't know that either until I started the show and got all these emails and then started talking to like dating coaches and just getting thousands of emails over the years that for men it can be, yeah definitely the young age, like definitely guys, like I didn't know that guys in high school all they were thinking about was banging you, even in college, like that's all their mind is consumed with sex and I didn't know that either. I also didn't know the problem that they have just approaching women

and so I have such empathy now, sympathy for them and I wanna try to help them and encourage them because I just feel bad. I feel that it's also something that you've to overcome and it's like a muscle and once you get used to asking women out and you're like, oh, got rejected, it's okay. I'm not gonna die.

Like men and so he says you're not gonna die and that's gonna happen. Nothing physically bad is gonna happen to you. Your feelings might be hurt a little bit, but you just move on to the next. And it's a lot of younger guy thing. I mean, some guys suffer into their older years. Yeah, I mean, you get more and more confident as you get older.

Yeah, so I just wanna have them out here. Okay, we got an oral sex question, which is my favorite topic. Dear Emily, I'm having casual sex with a friend tomorrow. I'm bringing condoms, lube, etc. But I'm not sure if I need to bring anything else. Also, I'm scared of eating out. When I've been in this spot before, I've been that guy who's refused, posseed out. Now I'm fully aware that she loves oral, period. What the hell should I do? How should I prepare myself to do something that I know it's going to be hard? The smell, it's new

and perform well, at least decent, since you're sincerely Matt, long time listener. First time going down. I think he's got to stop psyching himself out. Because whenever you're trying something new, you have to work through your fears. Get out of your head, like go up expectations. She knows that you haven't done it. It sounds like they're friends. And she's really into oral sex.

And the good thing is that he's with someone that could be a teacher, I think. And he could just be like, what do you like? But first, go slow. Warm or up, do the regular four-play things. Don't go dive right for the clitoris. Don't you agree that if you're not warmed up and guys go right for it, that you can just,

it can be uncomfortable. Do you feel that way? Yeah. But I am right there with him. With him, you're scared. Yeah, well, you've got, so what would you say are oral sucks tips together at the moment? I don't give head unless I'm in a relationship.

So I don't expect the guy to do it to me because I'm not going to do it to them. It's a respect thing. So it's like, hey, homey, I'm not going to do that. So you don't have to. Sometimes I do think four plays overrated and I think that when you're caught up in the moment you just go straight to having sex.

I'm okay with that. That being said, if he does want to do that and he wants to enjoy it, then a friend would be the best person to teach him. To test it out. So what are your best tips for oral sex on a woman? On a woman, well, for me, what I like and guys don't really do it as often as they should

is fingers and tongue. Like a lot of guys just think that the alphabet with their tongue or going from the clip to ins it's just there's the woman so complicated. I'm jealous of the guys being able to get off no matter what you know and that's something that I've always envied. But for us it is like a Rubik's cube like and it sucks for them. What? A basketball player.

Menace always says that the giant is of the Rubik's cube of life. Yeah. I, it is. I slowly do it. He loves you. He doesn't really like anyone. And it sucks because I am a woman and I want to have good oral done to me, but at the end of the day the chances are it's probably not going to be as good as having sex. Yeah, I got you.

So I mean, I'm kind of giving him like, hey, you don't have to because she might like it, but she also might be super sensitive and it's easy for her, but for all the girlfriends that I've talked to, we enjoy it, but we wouldn't choose it over sex, like at all. Wow, because Emily said, I would trade up, trade up not be with somebody if they didn't really. I wouldn't be with someone if they didn't want to, if they didn't go down on me.

She's all about it. Yeah, I had an ego thing. Oh no, no, I love it. Like, it warms me up. Then I can have more orgasms during sex if I already had like knock one out during oral. It gets me like super turned on. I like that a lot.

I get more turned on by giving the guy that I'm into head than him touching me at all. OK, so can we, this, this is amazing. This game like $10,000. Here's the thing. Just hit and follow her on Twitter and send her. So many men and women don't feel that way. And they think, in fact, women all the time,

like, how can I learn to enjoy it? Like, how can I get turned on? And you know what it is? And again, I can have my guy on the show or whatever. So we could not be dry humping or anything and if I go down I mean that's a first kind of interaction we have sexually and he puts his finger down there like I'm good to go. Like it's just and so it's like an actual there's proof. I'm not just saying like oh yeah I want my man to be happy.

It's like my body tells me and it's me making the guy that I care about or the girl that I care about feel good and that's something that again, with intimacy is weird for me, but as long as they're feeling good, that turns me on. I think with guys too, when guys enjoy going down on girls, are getting a girl off, that turns them on. The second a girl says, I'm gonna come, they're like, oh me too.

So for me, 100%, I would rather me give the guy that I'm into head than him going down on me. Oh, okay. And you're still having pleasure during sex. That's amazing. I always tell him, you know, it's an extension of someone that you like, or that you love, and they're getting into the moment of giving them pleasure, because that can feel really good, but if people aren't in that mindset as being a giver, you can't talk them into

it, but I think that that's great, and you're a great example of that, because you're just don't get it. But I think for him, you know, but the basic tips are just, you know, make contact with the clitoris, start very slow, rubber thighs, lick, lick, like, really. Yeah, the kissing on the inside of the thighs, that's like, that's amazing.

Sometimes better than the clit. It's just that feeling, you're just like, oh. There's so many nerve endings everywhere. It's not just the 8,000 in the clitoris. It's like all over that region. So just go slow, use your hands, pay, you know, and mouth and fingers and pay attention and ask her questions. She's a great teacher for you, I think, and use your fingers. She might like it though.

Some women do some don't. That's it. Oh, I know they don't. Some women don't. Well, they're not all the same, Emily. They're the real people of life. So I understand what you're saying are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. I'm struggling to keep my relationships. Every time I date someone, it seems like the feeling on the feelings on my part fade quickly. It's terrible. My latest ex signed up for the Marines and before he joined, I broke up with them because it seemed like the feelings faded. We're so good friends. Before he left, we spent a few hours together and talked and hung out. It seemed like he was sort of flirting with me and then he mentioned he has a girlfriend. I sort of miss him but I don't know whether it's because I'm jealous he's with someone else are really miss him. He's a great guy,

he's at a bootcamp now, gets back in 10 weeks and I need to figure out what I'm feeling before he gets back and I possibly make a huge mistake. Please help me. I'm tired of feelings fading. I'm feeling again after a few months. I know. I know. I mean, can I just jump in the look? Yeah, go. I mean, she didn't hang out with the guy for a while. Then she got to hang out with him again and it felt exciting again. And it will just fade away.

Please help me assigned every girl. Yeah. Exactly. He's so cool now. And I miss him. And then you're back with him for a couple of weeks. And you're like, oh, now I know why. I left him, you know.

Yeah, it's classic, right? You like someone and they're going away. Are you here? They have another girlfriend and you get attached again. I mean, I think this is like classic attachment issues. That a lot of us have that you get attached and she might be also having some intimacy things, two intimacy issues because when you get something that you think you want and then you have it and then you really as it get closer, your feelings might fade after that as well because you're

like, oh, I already got it, but I don't want to get closer. It could also, you know, so that's kind of an attachment slash intimacy thing. And it's also true and it sounds like she's younger. She went to young, in the early 20s, I'm guessing. I mean, if you just joined the Marine team. Right. Let's just say that. So I think that she probably realizes, which is OK,

that she, yeah, I don't even know what's happening here. They're on the computer at the same time. Yeah, but I wanted to find it. It's like jumped around. I don't know what happens. Like Madison King Control. Just to let everybody know what's going on, Madison King Control.

My document. And I want to review what else she said here. Medicine King Control and just to let everybody knows going on medicine King control by document and So I'm guessing she's young. I think she just got it You know take take a step back because you already ended it with them And now you're classically stating that he's got a girlfriend's and so you're not interested in She's a woman just go somewhere and say you're available and you'll find somebody. It's easy Yeah, exactly and and the feelings going up and down that's somebody that's easy. Yeah, exactly. And the feeling is going up and down, and that's something that we all deal with until we don't, but you mean someone in your writing,

and you just might not be writing right now, but don't, it's got a girlfriend, let them go with that, and you can fend with them. You don't need all that unnecessary drama for someone they think you still might like. Well, I think also you have the other side where it's maybe they broke up for stress, releasing reasons that we don't know about.

And then she starts the whole grass is greener on the other side. She goes, it shouldn't be this tough. I'm all speaking for it. It shouldn't be this tough. And she goes, let's just part ways because clearly we're better off, you know, without each other.

And then you start to date and maybe he's also just into, you know, jumped into a new relationship. And you're like, wait a minute. All of these these weird things I have to start over with somebody else, we should have just fixed what we had because what we had is very different than all of the guys that I date.

And the second that another girl is present, you're just like, shit, he was a good guy. And maybe I fucked up. Right. So I mean, it could be the realization, like, oh, somebody else will value him and I should have. So, and I've been in that situation to where I've just been kind of like a bit where I'm like,

it's done, like get your shit, like we're over, we shouldn't be fighting as much as this. And it's like, everybody else does, but with social media, we see the relationship goals and we see everybody else in this happy picture. So we're like, well, I'm gonna find that later on. If it's not with you and you're not gonna bend to me, I'll find that.

And it's like, no, no, no, relationships are work. If you love somebody, you have to do it. It's true, that's art. So it could be that for her. Maybe she's just, no, no, no, relationships are work. If you love somebody, you have to do it. It's true, they are. So it could be that for her. Maybe she's just, you know, miserable being alone, so she wants to be back with him, but I think it could be a real realization of like, hey, we were good together,

and maybe we should have worked on it. Yeah, that could be a two, that's a good. I agree with that. I think a lot of people just give up to easy days. Agreed, yeah. And then they feel sorry about it. They give up, but then also, what do you think about it? I know I love that you met your boyfriend over Instagram

because again, there are so many ways to meet people now. And you made a great point, surprisingly a few weeks ago, where you just fail to tell me. I always do, you just fail to tell me. I always do, but it was awesome because we were talking about, and there's a lot to talk about this lately, how social media has changed the way we date Not just online dating but even beyond that now that even if you're like you were saying you're sitting on your couch

At home alone you still have 10,000 people you could have access to just sitting there and texting like and poke and all that stuff So there is this certain like it's not working But there's 8,000 other people I could date right now that are all white my photo. I hate it. I hate it. He do. I hate it for relationships. I mean, what is my exe?

A shoulder to lean on or a shoulder to cry on is a dick to ride on. So it's like all of these people in social media that look great in the face tune and morphing their bodies and their life is so glamorous. The second that you and your girlfriend in a fight, you can just go there and be like, oh, well, that bitch wants me, look at this DM. So I made it for that reason and I had met him on it, but he's a great looking guy.

So he gets DMs all the time to where it's like, you have to be cautious because you are scared. It's not even insecurity on your part because you know that you're a great person. It's like one minute fight could be like, you know What I have 10 other bitches or me like I have rich guys that are offering me the world and you do give up and then you just kind of like go Completely opposite ways to where it's like oh like it isn't as great as everybody, you know seems in this bitch That's hot. It's crazy and she's stabbing people like nobody knows what it is

But it's losing the connect with meeting face- face, the guy getting coffee for the girl. It's so much easier on social media, but it's also a curse because it is that whole fear of like asking out in person. It's different to type behind a keyboard than to get the balls up and be like, I like you, do you like me? You lose sight of like what was important in the first place. Exactly. I totally agree that there is a certain generation now that grew up, this generation,

a younger generation that only grew up with the phones and they don't know how to even talk. It's not about asking out, but even just how to approach them and talk to them. I was at a concert. I went to acoustic, christmas, the caracthane and it was funny because there was pockets of women that were in the VIP, whatever area. There was lots of women that were like, you like in the back, the VIP, whatever area, but there was like lots of women that were like, you know, probably 22, early 20, and they were all like, four of them,

little, all on their phones, like for like an hour, and it's like, but there were guys around and you could meet, they're like, they're like, well, you're really good on Instagram for some people out there in the world. But yet, there was all these other people that they could have been talking to and it's just like, it's a safety shield.

Even like when you go to dinner lunches, the girls you know, the girls or guys where, and I yell at my boyfriend for this, where we could be talking and their phones are and they see like an Instagram pop up or like a Snapchat thing. They're just like, and you're like, mid conversation. And the people that you're there with like, for me, whenever I go to dinner, it goes in my purse. And that's something that I want to teach my son. And somebody's like, well, did you get your son a phone yet?

I was like, my son seven. They're like, yeah, my son has had a phone for, I'm like, are you kidding me? And I'm the crazy one. I'm like, bitch, I didn't even have a beeper. Like, I had to walk to school hoping that, you know, I wouldn't get picked up by somebody. Like the fact that we're giving the,

the use this early and the DMs that I get that are the most pervy are from kids. Are from teenagers where you're just like yeah go back to school do your homework and it's nasty things that they write and I actually posted and I felt bad I posted a blast of every single pervy kid and I posted on Instagram and on Twitter and I said whoever is raising these boys need to actually take more time away from their job and focus on raising that way with their handles. Yeah, with their handles. I mean, it was like things that not even the dirtiest like one of my guy friends talking

to one of his boys would say like it's bad because they're learning it in porn. And so young and there also there's no balls say that's in my face. Yeah, they would never say that. That's what I'm saying. And that's what that's what we're teaching. Are you going to ask you to take a selfie if they saw you and they were a fan, but they could send would never say that. That's what I'm saying. And that's what we're teaching. Are you going to say that? They can even come and ask you to take a selfie if they saw you and they were a fan, but they could send you things like that.

Yeah. I know. Yeah. That's a good point. Well, yeah, don't get your kid a phone for a while. Nope. Okay, Jess, everyone should check out your podcast. Please.

They get a podcast one. And tell me, we're going to have all of this on my website as well, but what can people look for? Like in your podcast coming up, anything great shows? Anything goes with Jess Hinton. I'm actually going to have my seven-year-old on. Oh, wow. So that is literally like anything goes.

Like one week it's relationships. Yeah, he definitely wants to break into the business. And you know the bill cause we think can kids say the darnedest things? Yeah. Oh, this kid. So I'm going to actually have him on around the holidays. And we're going to talk about all the things that he got

that he wanted for Christmas Christmas that he didn't get Christmas. So yeah, so that's an excellent. That's awesome. Yeah, great. Well, thank you so much for being here with us. So great to meet you. And thank you, Mattis. Thank you. Thank you, everyone. Thank you, producer Madison. Thank you, Laurie. Thank you everyone for just being you. I love you all. Thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. Okay, so I'm gonna talk about one more thing here and that is the magic wand. Jossah. Jossah, do you know about the magic wand? Tell me. The magic wand is the Cadillac of all vibrators. You know that you haven't used the magic wand? Clubs into the... Okay, it used to plug into the wall. It was like that big thing with the... okay. So, oh my God, is the Cadillac of all vibrators? It plugged into the wall, but now this year it became rechargeable

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