Sex With Emily - Casual Sex With Emily

Episode Date: June 27, 2015

Today’s show is about casual hookups, friends with benefits, and all different types of non-committal sex.  What exactly constitutes casual sex? Emily and Menace welcome a panel of four single Los Angelenos to navigate the seas of sex without commitment! Together, they share and compare unique personal stories, experiences, and opinions about making love sans the love part. The table offers up their own take on how to hang in this new hookup culture, as well as the quality of one night stand sex and the importance of oral. They also tackle an email that raises the issue of slut-shaming. Is there still a stigma associated with women having casual sex?This Sex With Emily podcast is a melting pot of stories from singles, sexual experiences, and defining what casual sex is for each person. Whether you’re looking for more, or keeping as little as possible, this show is one everyone can relate to and is not to be missed! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I am so excited to tell you what I do favorite obsession on it is going to rock your role. At least it didn't mind because let me tell you a story. So I just wanted vacation with my family. And I get so many magazines. I have all these subscriptions. And I want to read them. I don't have a lot of time to read.

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and just read about everything that you want in love in your life. So check it out next issue dot com slash EM. Thanks for listening. Best five sex Eyes that my car secret institutions Betrubized they call them a bye-go-day. Hey, Emily. You got a boyfriend because my man here He just got his heart broken he thinks you're kind of cute The women know about shrinkage isn't it common only what do you mean like laundry? It's drinks and we not talk about sex so much Are you kidding me? Oh? I'm so proud. Being bad feels pretty good.

So you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can check out all of our podcasts, sign up for a mailing list. You really, really should, because we send an awesome newsletter. I give you an email. I gotta say. And follow us on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. It's all sex with Emily and I love you all.

Thank you for listening. And today's show, this is a really special show, not just because Menace is here. Hello, everybody. What up, Menace. We've got a little panel going on. I know. Which we're going to introduce in a second, but we have to catch up. Like a billion people up in the studio. I know. We've been here the now, but we've been a bit. Done this before. What's this? So many voices. We are tackling a very important topic today.

Okay. We're talking about casual sex, which is on the rise. On the rise? Well, I mean, in the last 20 years, thanks to Tinder. I've got this amazing article that I'm going to read news about Tinder, which is just literally changing. Not only is there a rise in people hooking up, but also a rise in STDs. Imagine that. But also connections. The whole thing about Tinder is that it's just changed the way people are meeting, dating, they're saying it's curing loneliness. Have you been, you know, you've had a girlfriend since Tinder?

Yeah, so I mean- We'd be killing it on Tinder, dude, if you didn't have a girlfriend. I know, I actually, I sign up on my buddies that are not on Tinder and then help them, like, make their profiles and stuff like that and then sit and watch them, you know, like see if they, if anybody makes them back and it totally works. Like within five minutes of setting up a profile that are already talking to somebody who's insane.

It's insane. But you're talking about STDs, I was just, that's the depressing part guys. I don't want to leave with the ST for. I'm glad people are looking at me. Oh, she's so depressing. It's so depressing. And they said just in like New Jersey that STDs are on the rise like a crazy number and they all blame Tinder. Yeah, exactly. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing.

It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing.

It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing.

It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. It's a very interesting thing. Okay, so according to 2002 US General Survey, social survey, there's been an increase both casual sex and sex with acquaintances since the 90s. So from 1990 to now to 2012, casual sex. So in the 90s, it was 32 percent people were having casual sex, 37 percent now. Friends with benefits, 30 percent then then 41% now. I think also all the surveys back then, I think people were lying.

No, no, but they were going to be on this. People were lying. Because I think people were probably a lot more uptight back then and didn't want to say like they want to be considered a completely. I don't know if it was even that uptight. It just, you weren't oriented that way. I know in college it was like, youtight. It just, you weren't oriented that way. Like, I know in college, it was like,

you used up for someone and you've gotten. I always, and I think actually, to be honest, like in my 20s, I was in, I was in relationships. Like, I was a serial monogamous believe it or not. I did cheat, you know that. I'm a former cheater, but I was committed to NF years, to NF years, to NF years, and it wasn't like casual sex. Yeah, it wasn't accepted.

It wasn't like people would just go on a date and like, yeah, I'm dating five-gotten, you just wouldn't say it. And now it's like, if someone's in a relationship at 24, you're like, really? And part of me can, you know, think that, that I don't think you should get married until you're 30 anyway. You know, I believe that.

I think we change a lot in our 20s. I think that it's not a bad thing to date around and figure out who you are and what you want. So I kind of wish, I could, well, I guess I am doing it over my friends, I'll say I'm like 20 now. We'll talk about it more with our panel. So have you been? I've been great. I'm very upset with you by the way though. Why? You have been posted photos of my dog yet on your Instagram and I sent them over to your staff.

But you know, whatever. Dude, okay. Okay, it's cool. You know, you hate my dog, it's fine. I'm so sorry. First of all, you are the most private person in the whole world that I feel like I have to get like a release form sign. So what's your dog in Instagram? But your dog is really, really freaking cute.

I'll do it, we'll do it. Madison will probably do it right now. It's a hot dog. But congratulations on that, it's your first child. So now does that mean you guys are gonna have a baby soon because that's what couples do. Yes, yes, you get a dog and then you get a baby. Yeah, it happens. No, we already have a bunch of vacations coming up and very Have dog sitters and stuff like that. That doesn't mean that you can have a child

Very anti-child you just okay, so maybe you'll just have a dog and be one of those people like dresses it up and like You said Christmas cards. We're about an outfits and all that kind of stuff You used to laugh at me when my dog hit outfits. No, I laughed at you because you should not have a dog. Well, you were right. At all. You were right. You can barely take care of yourself.

Exactly. Well, because it was a mistake. My friend, she's a vet. How long did this dog last? You used to be like, yeah, good. No, we had a good run. I mean, she's with a wonderful family right now. I just, there's a lot going on in my life.

That dog, by the way, the fart on me, and I'm still offended by it. I used to bring into the studio, it was really cute. But speaking of Instagram, menace. So I did a big workshop last night at Hustar Hollywood, which was freaking amazing. It was Oral Sex Workshop, Oral Sex 101. And it was for men and for women.

So I talked about Felatio and Colonel Angus, which, I don't want to embarrass you, but I'm going to. But in 2005, when we started this show, we were on a live show, we were on Free FM Radio. And I said Conolinguist, and you did not know what it was. Well, you were like, you were ahead of your time on the Conolinguist. No, I'm not. You think I made up Conolinguist? You were. You think I made it up? You think I just up Gunnall English. Slice her. You think I made it up? You think I just came in that day? You were a pioneer.

I'm like, Kinsey. I'm like, Kinsey. I'm like, Kinsey. But so last night, it was packed room. I mean, there were so many fans there, because you know, I don't do a lot of life things. And this one woman, McKenna, right? McKenna, right?

Madison? McKenna, she's an awesome fan. She's been a fan for a long time in the show. She's like, I just need to know what men She's so cute like you had had him posted enough pictures of them and then I saw him and he's really really cute Like why don't you post a lot of pictures of them? So I'll post a picture of you and your dog for a Macanol and thank you Post a picture of the dog. You know I hate taking photos people don't see you Keep it that way. Okay, so I think we should well

I've got a little to introduce this topic I am gonna reveal sex to the news and then'm going to get into our people here. Okay cool. Okay. They're all staring at us right now. What we talk? I love them. I'm so glad they're here. This is going to be fun. Okay. This is important and unfathomable amount of people are getting laid from Tinder according to these stats. So speaking at the can lines, the can lines international festival creativity, the co-founder of Tinder, Sean Rad, claimed that in the 2.5 years Tinder has existed, they've already facilitated over 8 billion matches. Two billion in just the past two months.

So Tinder is now up to 16,000 swipes per second, which means a truly unfathomable amount of people are getting laid via Tinder these days. By the way, this is an interesting fact. It's the same co-founder who was ousted as CEO by Barry Diller, CEO of IAC, parent group of Tinder after Sean Rad was caught drawing Diller's initials in the shape of a cock and balls. Do you remember this story? No, really, Sean Rad'sstone means President of Tinder and a

director within the company. He sounds like a good fun guy. Yeah right? Anyone comes up with Tinder. So tight. As of April, right? What the hell? As of April, Tinder has a total of six billion matches. According to its downloaded page, an iTunes which translates to 195 million matches per month, insisting that one of the missions of Tinder was not about seeking sexual partners, but to cure human loneliness. He said, the people that you really... That's always the cover up. It's true though. It's true though.

Oh, we just want you to meet her. Well, I mean, if you're lonely, you might, you want to sex or eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's, or both at the same time. I don't know. The people that you meet really shape who you are. Every person you meet has a potential to bend in Jerry's or both at the same time. I don't know. The people that you meet really shape who you are, every person you meet has a potential to change your life. We all have the sense of belonging, community to get close to the world, whatever, blah, blah, blah.

But now everyone's hooking up, so that's the point. And then, curing loneliness, perhaps, as a company to operate that kind of scale is fascinating because he's very proud of all these numbers that you can imagine when you're audience is so global and diverse. The average user spends 11 minutes a day on Tinder. And with 16,000, so I have to second 1.4 billion swipes a day

and two billion matched the last two months, he finds out Regis Tinder is currently valued at the five billion range. It's not just a hook up app. It's crazy. So let's introduce our panel and I'm going to talk about what. Wait, can I ask you something real quick? I'm sorry guys. Please do.

But this came out actually a couple of hours ago in the news that these teens overseas, they came in Britain. They came up with a condom that changes color and it can detect STDs. No way. Like for each STD, it's a different color. So, I think it's pretty dark. It'd be better if they were glow in the dark color. I you serious? Is it going to go in the dark?

It'd be better if they were going to dark color. It's going to go in the dark, but I don't think that's the main point of it. Well, all I'm thinking is if you're having sex with someone and you're like, it's green, you won't really see if the lights are out, you're like, you've chlamydia. Yeah. So it should just be a glow in the dark.

I mean, I don't mean to, but it's a great idea. Sorry, man. I'm like these teens who manage the figure out. It's actually. How to figure out if you have a STD and say, look, this thing sucks because it isn't glow-n-n-n. I'm like the investor in the room going, really? That's a good idea figure out if you have a STD and say look, this thing sucks because it doesn't go in there. I like the investor in the room going really, that's a good idea, but have you,

who's your, no, that's a great idea actually. Yeah, that is brilliant. That is brilliant saying so. But I wonder how it works, because sometimes doctors can't even detect if you have herpes, it does show up. Yeah, but you know what, it's better than nothing. It's brilliant.

No, I think that's actually brilliant. I'd like to invest in the company and then make it go in the dark. We're gonna be billionaires and I would like to go on the condom private jet soon once I get that is really really smart Because you know what the thing is people lie. I don't know. I'm totally good. I got tested last week No, you're talking to green. You have syphilis. Yeah, you're like syphilis. I'm out So yeah, you know like that is really great and another new story that came out, which is not only, which I think is funny, does real quick,

did you hear that the founder of Match.com, who met his partner on Match.com, she cheated on him and left him for a guy that she met on Match.com. I did know that. Yeah, I just think that sort of said. Her name was Emily Morris. I know, I don't. I don't cheat.

Anyways, listen to this channel. I gave it up. Okay, guys. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for being here. Okay. To my left. First, I'm going to start with case we've got, because I have a figure, we've got to have a dialogue

of who's actually engaging in casual sex or have, you know, flirted with it. So let's talk about it. We've got Justin, GUN. Justin. Say hello. That's hello. Hello, name Gunn. Yeah. It's quite a name. I know. I actually Justin, I know from San Francisco. He used to work at current TV. Oh, sweet. And we met 10 years ago. 10 years. We actually dated. We did. Well, no. Was it casual though? We

were. I would I would say it was casual and then but then it was I mean, how do I know if it was exclusive? It's I'm trying to think if I stop with anyone else I don't think I'm maybe you know what I think we were casual flirting with seriousness right I think that's what we did right it was a good time and then you we didn't seem to other ten years it was probably like what the better part of a year yeah that was a really good year yeah no commitment though we went to Coach. Yeah, no commitment though. We went to Coachella together Remember that oh dude. He's the guy I know the coach. Oh

Coachella guy. Oh, what did I look at it? I just open I've taught I've told the story how we had sex backstage Do you remember that? Yeah? I've told the start what do you guys hear everybody? It doesn't get much more casual than that. You know, because typically a Coachella, you're in shorts and like, sun dresses. Yeah, yeah. Well, we were, but then we had sex backstage, but do you remember where who was playing or anything?

It wasn't in the butt, was it? No. I can't. It was probably, oh, you mean geographically. I was never in that. Geographically, yeah. Anyway, yeah, so you're like, that's kind of a big deal because I've talked about that That was a big moment in my life every year Coachella comes up because I have I have to go to Coachella for work

And I go I'm calling to Coachella. She's like I had sex back state. I know he brings up to yeah, that was fun I brought what's fun. Thank you for reminding me of that. So anyway, Justin I haven't seen each other while I ran into you in LA and we're both here now. So it's awesome. It's wonderful Great great to see you great to see you too, and thanks for coming on the show Jordan Hey, how's it going? Just met Jordan Jordan. You are oh, Justin's 41. Yes You're 25 25 and you live in LA. Yes, and are you kept your casually dating now? Only casually dating. Okay. No How are you meeting people?

Variety of ways. I kind of go off and on each month. Sometimes it's the apps. Sometimes it's a bar scene. Craigslist. Craigslist is very shady. Craigslist is how it started, right? Yeah, just don't meet in those random Starbucks because you're like next door.

Yeah. So use all the apps. Yes, I don't date like long term. It's just always short-term or friends with benefits Do you ever want that? I don't like caring about myself on a daily basis. I don't have time to care about someone else About a dog. I totally got it. So I'm selflessly selfish and you tell the girls that right away? You're like, hey, you so nice to meet you. You want to drink you? Okay, so listen? This is just casual Yeah, 100% and then do you find that they're kind of turned out like they're like me too, you so nice to meet you, you wanna drink, you wanna drink, you wanna be, okay, so listen, this is just casual. Yeah, 100%.

And then do you find that they're kinda turned out, like they, they're like meet you? It's a variety. You've probably had a variety, I think that happens. Yeah, it's a lot of different angles, but usually it's, it works out. Okay, it's just tough to find them. Tough to find them? Yeah, I mean, like in a bar, if you go up to five year olds, let's say, one's like, oh, you're an asshole, two is like, oh, that's really do, she's saying, and then the three's like,

oh, I can kinda see that, like maybe in a little bit. Right, and then you go over. But if you move down, yeah, I'm just like, no, okay, you're an asshole. Two is like, oh, that's really do she say. And then the three is like, oh, I can kind of see that. Like, maybe in a little bit. Right. And then you go over. And she moved out. Yeah, I was like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like,

no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like,

no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like, no, I'm just like the past, you asked. Oh, of course, you know. Okay, I'm sorry, go ahead. No, but no, go ahead, just finish. Keep going. No, you know, it's interesting because I came out of a relationship about three months ago. And it was a full solid year of exclusivity. And prior to that, this was someone that was in my life, also named Emily, by the way. Uh-oh.

She was now them to run, okay. And, but prior to that, you know, we'd been in Ch others' lives for many years. We were together for a couple years, then we were not together, kind of, often on. So I'm actually kind of fresh back on the scene and all of these things, these technologies, all of this stuff is actually pretty new.

Okay, so, but in the past though, let's say before that, I feel like when I met you, you were kind of like a stud doing thing. No? What's it mean? I don't know what that mean. No, you have that like fancy love that walked in. There's like, my friend, she's like, she's like, Justin, that guy you walked in,

and there was like porn on the TV, you're having a party, and there's like, porn on the TV. Like, walked in, and I'm like, hey, like you were like, party guy, but we'll get into that. Okay. So next, we have Tara. Hi, hi, Tara. Hi. Hi Tara. Tara is actually my new assistant as well. And she is, you've flirted with casual sex and dating. I've had casual sex.

Not recently. Right. But in the past, you've dated casually. And what about early around like were you in committed relationship? You're 41. Today, happy birthday. Woo.

We have cupcake, Sarah. There are cupcakes here. So previously, you have been casual. We've casual. Were you committed to you? Yeah, I'd say the first, better half of my 20s was, I didn't really, I don't know. Yeah, I'm definitely in the opposite of you,

done, not a serial monogamous, not back then. So yeah, good portions of my 20s and 30s. We'll just spend that way. Casually, okay, and we have Lori. Hi. My fan tabulous intern. Hey. Lori is 27.

Tell me about your, what's up with you now? How many guys you're banging? I'm currently banging zero. Just recently I was banging one or two, and then now I'm banging neither of them because they're huge assholes. Really? What happened? Just like, well... She got to know them. Exactly! No, like I'm over it. It's fine. Okay, but I remember there was one of them helped you test out the... That is one of the huge assholes, yeah.

The what was it? It was the flex it was the flex it was the prey flex vibrator you know will probably still have sex it's the thing that's my feeling about it right now yeah yeah yeah like what's up with that why is he an ask I don't know because I can separate sex from how I feel about it can separate sex from how I feel about him. She can separate sex from assholes. OK. In a way. Yeah, but I definitely like sex going back to Justin's one.

OK. I'd say historically, though, I'm about 50-50 with the relationship casual sex thing. Like, I've had several serious long-term relationships and then several years of just casual sex. And are you OK with that? Or is it part of you like, kind of I want, do you have that yearning, but I'd like to find one guy?

I straight up want to find one guy. Yeah, like I hell go for the relationship, just it doesn't always happen that way and I'm cool with it. But yeah, I'm total romantic. Really, I usually catch feelings. Right, I'm one of those. Yeah, see that's a thing. So that's one of the things I want to talk about

minus one of I.O. before you had this girlfriend, which just ruined my life. See, that's a thing. So that's one of the things I want to talk about. Minus, what about you? Before you had this girlfriend, which just ruined my life. Oh, what? Just kidding. Because he used to be more like, fun, talking about, no, it's cool. I'm glad you're like, she's been happy to be a dog.

No, but whatever. You're just going to have, you have nothing to say. You don't talk to me. What do you mean? No, I think, I don't know how it is for women, I think, probably a lot easier and quicker if they wanted to the casual sex, I don't know how it is for women, I think probably a lot easier and quicker if they wanted to have casual sex, but guys are just lame and dumb and dumb. The pretty much the only thing that keeps heterosexual men from having sex all the time is women.

See, I don't know that though. Okay. Also themselves because they could only even pick up on like cues that a woman is actually interested in them because they're that dumb. A lot of time to make. But I mean like maybe late 20s and then early 30s that's when a lot of the casual sex started happening. Yeah, no it's true because it is. It's true afraid and shy and all that scrolls not into me and like questioning everything. Right.

I mean, not all people are the same but at least that's what was happening for me. Got it. Okay, so I have a little definition here of people are confused. What is casual sex? I'm going to define three different types of casual sex scenarios. It's a sexual activity between people who are not established sexual partners or do not know each other very well. One night stand, a sexual relationship lasting only one night.

Imagine that. Friends and benefits. A friend in which you are allowed sexual activity but no true relationship is involved, the benefit is purely sexual, not to be tied with feelings. And then there's the almost relationships or the almost boyfriend, which I talked about earlier with this year with Annie Daly,

she writes for the New York Post and she called me about it for a press story. And she's like, if you heard about this almost boyfriend thing, I'm like, well, what's the difference? And it's kind of like a friend's benefits, but you spend a lot of their time together And may or not be seeing other people, but they're fully committed But it's not really an open relationship. They might be your parents. I don't know It's kind of a loop. I think people are just kind of kind of kind of called with new terms But is it really that everyone's just looking for the bigger better deal you you think? Or people just really just interested in having sex right now, like more sex? I want to have sex all the time.

I feel like I have a really high sex drive. Really more. Okay. But I'm also like super commitment-minded. So this is like my lifelong struggle, because I always want to have sex, but to find a relationship takes time, and I always want to have sex, but to find a relationship takes time, and I cannot have sex. But if you're also sleeping with multiple people, doesn't it become kind of confusing?

I feel like I do a lot of casual, but I do want it at time. I don't typically sleep with more than one person in succession. I can't even know. I go from one to the next to the next sometimes it's quick But they don't they don't really overlap right why? Why do you don't think they work out? I wish I knew I don't know I don't know I have no idea. Maybe it's me You guys the thing that I always think about casual sex and friends with benefits is that it has a shelf life.

Like it can't really go on forever. Oh, it doesn't. Yeah, it does. No, the same with the same person because it usually ends up that one person wants more. And it's not only the chicks, Justin, sometimes the women, guys want more than the woman does. Sure. Absolutely. Because you were saying women, I mean, I know that you were kidding when you're saying,

oh, guys, but I think some of it's true that guys would just sleep around until women are like, hey, yeah, I mean, just generally speaking, I think there is sort of, I think this issue divides along gender roles, you know, pretty starkly, where I think if you pull, you know, 100 guys and 100 women, I think you're going to find that typically more men will be pro casual sex than women will be, as far as not having relationship just kind of hooking up. It's very sort of male genetically, it's sort of a male-centric behavior.

It's almost like the trend of casual sex is sort of validating historical, like evolutionary behavior in great men. Right, exactly. Which is not to say that women can't enjoy it too, and clearly they do. You know what I suspect? I suspect that because I'm 41 and when I grew up, if you wanted to get a look at a porn movie or a naked picture, you had, you know, 12 years old,

someone up the courage and go up to the newsstand and buy a porn omag, you know, which I did. I'm sorry, you did. With my older brother hiding around the corner peaking around, you know, saying what's going on. Right. But today, it's everywhere. The internet is a wash in pornography, and you can see absolutely everything. And it's interesting, because when I have dated below my age at, you know, with girls in their 20s, their attitudes towards sex and sexual freedom

are so much different than girls, you know, when you were, when I was that. That's what I'm saying. It's a totally different thing. So they really are more open to, they're like it's cool because it's not it's not a secret it's not as taboo I mean you look at you know an extreme example in Saudi Arabia where everybody's you know completely covered up in you know head to toe and the guys are all freaking out and the people's relationships with sex is all whack and weird here you know

and increasingly with younger generations where it's open and it's available and it's everywhere it's almost not such a big thing. Yeah, I mean, well, this is what I wonder because I do agree that men and women are both on board with it more and they're 20s. Like, I know that when I was my 20s, I wouldn't be like, yeah, I'm banging five guys right now. I'm doing this to that. Like, it would be like, you, if you, I don't know, maybe you've were, but we weren't talking about, we were going towards relationships. But then I've also like, you know, write a lot of stories, books,

but like women are kind of just falling out and men, but they aren't as comfortable with it, that it sort of feels like it's not natural. And then, but I think it also, with, you know, I don't know, what do you guys think? Is it something that you felt like, you're, or is it more that you're okay with it until you have feelings and then you want more?

There's so many things. I mean, me growing up, it was the 90s when I was in my 20s. So yeah, like what you were saying, there was even if you were dating juggling multiple men at once, not something you bragged about. Right, maybe guys did, but it's that whole stigma with being a woman. You're not. You're going to be looked down on, like, oh, that's the slutty one. Right.

But hasn't that changed? I don't think it's changed. I don't think it's changed. I don't think it's changed as much as it should have. OK, let's rest up Jordan here. He's 25. Jordan, what do you think? Are these girls slut, what are they slutty? Are they?

It has changed. I get to the point, usually, especially with a friend's benefit situation where it does get to that feeling point. And so far, it has not been for my side. It's normally them. And at that point, it's more of a, I kind of warn you in the beginning, like I wasn't looking for this and it unfortunately does end,

but occasionally like long-term, like I forgot to mention it, that you bring them back around later on. They're like, oh wow, like what we had was like kind of cool, like I did the dating scene. You're bringing back? No, no, they initiate the content. Yeah, and I'm not gonna, like I know, it's not great for their psychiatric area, but for me, it's like, but I'm not paying the bill. Yeah, for me, it's more like, hey, look, like it's your choice, like I already warned you, you definitely know what you're jumping in with.

It's not me searching out for it. So it's interesting because I wonder if women, typically, you know, this goes both ways again, but women think, well, I can change them. I'll be the one, Jordan, like you're gonna be a challenge for me. Yeah, you say you don't want something committed, but I'm gonna well, I can change them. I'll be the one, Jordan. Like, you're going to be a challenge for me. Yeah, you say you don't want something committed, but I'm going to be, you're going to fall in love with me.

And you're like, no, then it happened, you know? They always think that. They always think that. Part of the chase for them, absolutely. Yeah, it does go both ways, but typically. I can fix him. Yeah, I can fix him. And it almost is like, yeah, well, that's kind of a bit.

I'm going to be very PC today. I know it's so weird. Who are you? You got a dog and now you're being PC. You don't like the PC, please. No's kind of a... I'm very PC. I know, it's so weird. Who are you? You got a dog and now you're being PC. You're being PC. I'm not the PC, please. No, I get it. I am too. But I have to say that it's interesting

just because I typically was the one who didn't want... I would get into them, but I was like, they guy was saying to me, like, oh, do you want a relationship? And I was like, oh, yeah, I guess I will, because you want it, but I don't. And then it's funny, because the more I would say, like, I'm really not looking for anything,

they would want more. Oh, that's so true. And it's like that whole thing in life you want what, but I don't. And then it's funny, because the more I would say, like, I'm really not looking for anything, they would want more. Oh, that's so true. And it's like that whole thing in life, you want what you can't have. But I'm not like the typical normal female in that way, but do you find that as well? Yeah, absolutely. That there are the women, it's like bait.

It's like, what is it like catnet? Catnet, yeah. The second you say, like, I don't want it, they're like, I want more, I want more. Yeah, and it's tough to deflect, because you kind of like, you know they care about you. And it's like not the best thing in the to ruin their feelings, but the same thing. What happened when your childhood though? Your parents married?

No, divorced. Of course. So you didn't see a model of a really great relationship. I have seen what age were you and they were divorced. We're going to have you lie down in the couch like that. Yeah, so it looks like they're going to have sex with someone here. No, it's only a 15 years. It's an interesting point that how will you when your parents were divorced?

Five. Five, okay. So yeah, my parents are happily married and have been my whole life. So I feel like I'm looking for that. That's my idea of it. What about you, Tara? They divorced, but I was in my 20s.

I was already living out here. So, I'm not even sure. Everyone always talks about like, well, I want to be with, I was talking to Guy Freddy's, like I want to be with the girl whose parents are still married, because then she's just got a lot of issues, or what, and I'm thinking to myself, I have friends, even now, who are like, their parents are divorced, you know, maybe they never knew their dad or whatever it is, and then parents are going to

be together forever, and either parent, people whose parents are going to be together forever, they're having problems finding someone, because they're like, I want it to be the love like my parents have, and then there's people who are like, oh, well, relationships don't work. So, I don't think, I mean, of course, your childhood has a major impact on who you are, but I don't know if it's, I think, this casual sex thing is just, you know, taking over. I think it stands to reason that if somebody is raised

with, you know, two loving parents in a longstanding relationship, and that's sort of the model that you have and you look up to that, you know, inspired to that, I'd imagine that you'd be less inclined to sort of like have casual sex and meaningless kind of hookups, because that's something that you have and you look up to that and you aspire to that, I'd imagine that you'd be less inclined to sort of like have casual sex and meaningless kind of hookups, because that's something that you're deep down trying

to attain in your own life. But what if it's not even available now? Like, is it really even, do you guys have two friends in your 20s? Do you really think that's true? Like, it's not even like, like, just, that ship has sailed. I think it's available, but I think,

no, I do think that you can find someone, but if people are oriented towards like, it's gonna be, it might be harder to find. Like, do you find like, Jordan, like, I mean, I know you don't want it, but how long did these relationships typically last before these women are like? Longest, maybe two months, so I try to show it to you. Yeah, that makes sense. And like, even in my friend bracket, like all my friends, there's only one that's actually in a long-term community relationship. Everyone else is like shelf life average six to nine months, but one of it's more one one nice stands one week like that's about. But do you ever want more like to the part of you ever want that commitment and that intimacy?

You haven't had it yet, so you don't know. I yeah, no. I see it through like reality TV. It's great. TV and I'm gonna say oh The bachelor's bachelor. Yeah, there's like a perfect ceiling popped in the room right now. I might change my mind straight up, because I love that shape. But people out in the real world not yet. Caitlin, yeah. And you know what, you'd be tired of banging her too, after a while.

What's that saying? What? You're trying to hack her on the bar, and I'll show you how. Show me the hottest woman in the world, and I'll show you at least one guy who's tired of banging her. Exactly. Just really depressing. But the thing is, OK, one of my favorite quotes

and I'm sorry it's from Annie Hall because I know Woody Allen is not that popular right now but it is my favorite quote. And he says, it was Alvi Singer. Did you guys all see Annie Hall? By chance, best movie all the time. So, okay, a relationship I think is like a shark, you know, it has to constantly move forward or it dies.

And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark. And I think that's what happens a lot with really these friends eventually someone's gonna you know it reminds me of another quote which is love is like a fart if you have to force it it's probably shit okay that's a good line that's really like right you bring the men to bring up body body also you shouldn't like and then to run up body, bottle of shanks. Also you shouldn't like, settle into a relationship. I think a lot of people settle into a relationship. Oh, lots of people. And then like 15 years later they wake up

or like, oh my god, this has been terrible, this entire time. And then they finally get the courage to break it off, you know? I agree. Like keep on going out there and hook it up with people. But if you find somebody that you think is really cool and awesome, then yeah, you should probably Right exactly. It's the other end of the spectrum because I think what what used to be happening or what can still happen now? And again, I grew up in Michigan. All my friends in Michigan are married or actually this is now they're not getting divorced now because

It's been like 18 years. It's been here. It's been here. But what I'm saying is you will get married in their 20s. Typically, it's just we change so much. And we maybe you know we'd things happen. You've kids you get busy and then you just I don't know a lot is you will get married in their 20s. Typically, it's just we change so much. And we maybe, you know, we'd things happen. You've kids, you get busy, and then you just, I don't know, a lot of you'll get to work after 10, 15 years. That's true. I'm from a small town in the East Coast, and everyone I know got married really young

in their old voice now. So, right, exactly. So it's kind of hard to find, like, what do you, you know, the balancer? That's why I say wait until you know yourself better, because the other thing is, like, people in smaller towns not in the big cities, they think, okay, well, I've got it. I've dated you.

We've had sex. We've been dating for three months. This is it. And maybe they haven't even experienced that much sex. You know, they haven't been dating as many other people and then they become, they're in their 40s and they're like, I want to bang someone else. I've had sex with the same person forever.

Yeah, my parents have been together my whole life, but they were both divorced from other people. So, like, the one that sex with the same person forever. Yeah, my parents have been together my whole life, but they were both divorced from other people. So the one that worked was the second time around. Like they both came from previous marriages, and now they're my idea of a perfect relationship and marriage, but that was the second time. Yeah, usually, that's when I get a little start in marriage, though, I should be married into,

I started to be divorced by now at least, but I never wanted to get married. Okay, we're gonna take quick break. We come back, this is all gonna turn to sex people, cause it was a sex family. Okay guys, you know that I love my magic wand vibrator. Can anyone chime in here? Anyone ever had experience with a magic wand?

It plugs into the wall? Yeah, no? Okay. It is the Cadillac of all vibrators. It's been around for 30 years. Is this the one I found under my mom's bed? Yes. The giant thing.

That's the big ball on the end. Exactly. Good job there, Justin, when you were, yes, looking her stuff in your parents' room. That's it. Vibratox, the sex toy company that brought you the original magic wand and the dollya, what? And the rabbit habit. It is now, this is very big announcement.

It is now, you can get it unplugged, rechargeable magic wand. So it's the same power, it is improved. You got it. Did you use your glory? I did, I love it. Because that's your next review. Right, the magic wand. There's like one spot in my apartment

that I like to masturbate in. I mean, it's on my bed. And there's no plug nearby. There's no plug nearby. No, exactly. There's like one spot in my apartment that I like to masturbate in. I mean, it's on my bed. And there's no plug nearby. There's no plug nearby. No, exactly. There's zero plugs. So if I were to use the old magic wand, I would not have been able to do it my favorite spot.

Exactly. But you have it. I mean, it's kind of a big deal, because the thing is, it's such a powerful vibrator that that's widespread, right around for 30 years, and everyone loves it. But it's kind of like, what a perwine camping. Like, what do we do? But now you don't have to worry about

because there's no cord, there's no limits to wear and how you can enjoy it. And the new Magic One has smoother silicone head for the little ball at the top plus four intensity settings, four amazing vibration patterns. The other one was just, I mean, I don't know if you can't still have the cord because it's freaking awesome, but now it has amazing vibration patterns. The other one was just, I mean, I'm not saying you can't still have the cord's one because it's freaking awesome, but now it has different

vibration patterns. It's just more modernized and cool. Yeah, the silicone's body safe on the, on the thing. Exactly. So now you can choose between the simplicity of the original magic one and the convenient portability of the rechargeable. Lauren Moore find out more and what other wand lovers have to say, which I think this website's awesome. Go to magic wand rechargeable. Learn more, find out more, and what other wand lovers have to say, which I think this website is awesome. Go to MagicWondRechargeable.com because it shows you all these people, like for every 30 years, and they're talking about like their experiences with it. Now, what they think about the rechargeable, it's really cool. Check it out. Are you ready to go unplug? Check it out. MagicWondRechargeable.com. Do that. And don't worry guys, I've got something for you too. I've got

to tell you about the fleshlight. Oh, big fan. Are you big fan? Yeah, I like the homemade version. The homemade version, which is your hand? No, it's like a cup and then some silicon and then some other stuff. Can we get this man a fleshlight? Have you, do you know? Oh my god. Oh, gladly.

I have literally hundreds of them in my god. Oh, gladly. Take one. I have literally hundreds of them in my office. OK. So fleshlight is a male masturbation sleeve. And you might be thinking, you know, I've got my hand. Why do I need it? But this masturbation sleeve feels amazing. I, from every single guy, from the show who's listening about it, friends I've given it to,

it simulates the feeling of actually having sex. And it tight around your penis. It's in, what were you going to say, am Iulates the feeling of actually having sex and it's tight around your penis. What were you going to say, Matt? You want one now, finally? No, I was talking about, I don't think they said a Nashville, right? They're in Texas. Oh, in Texas.

I'm actually going to go watch them. There's going to be some porn stars and their vagina will be molded. They have to stand there and I'm going to go witness that and do a video. I was talking about my co-workers that you invited me to take the tour and they said that I should do it. You should. It's an Austin too. It's a good time. We're gonna go. So the thing is that they've all these different patterns if you like a particular porn star, you could buy one that one. You could also buy the fleshlight stamina trade unit if you want to last longer in bed. They're all different ridges and feelings. It's just like having said,

it feels like you're having sex with like a bunch of different people if you buy a bunch of plastic. I saw one that like looked like Yoda or something like that. Is that the one that you want? When's your birthday October? I'll get you. I'll get you. I want the Yoda one.

So it's funny because yeah, the flashlight, you have amazing orgasms and literally, it's like, I know you use your hand, I know you might have sex, but it's just a great thing to, we have vibrators, so guys might as well try something different. You add some lube to it. It's sex and a can. That could be even better than sex. I know that it's really easy to clean all that stuff. I am messaging. I wanted Jordan right

after the show. Check it out though. You guys go to sexwithmme.com, click on the Fleshite banner, use coupon code Emily, and you get a free bottle of their award-winning fleshly. But I just have to say that last night at my house, our Hollywood event, we were giving some weight, and everyone in the audience was like freaking out, they won them, they heard about it on the show,

and we gave a bunch of weight, and it was like, they're a happy crowd. Sweet. Yeah, okay. Hi, people, it's back to our panel. We're gonna get into sex, okay? So I wanna know about, first of all, do you guys practice safe Sacks in these casual relationships? Be honest. Always. Do you remember? I don't believe

you, really? Always. You carry condoms with you all the time? All the time. Hell no. Let me see your pockets right now. It's in my backpack. Bring that backpack with me everywhere. Okay. Really? Okay, but one thing, just a little note, a public service announcement, that you shouldn't actually carry condoms in your wallet because they can disintegrate and, you know, they can all stick it. Like if you open it and there's like, sticky and messy, I don't use it.

So what is the best place to carry them? The best place is just, I guess. Just weird, I don't know. You know, it's just, yeah, just weird. That's easy. Before you go out, the truth is, the glove compartments are really bad place. So hopefully women are comfortable with that.

Wherever you're at, they should just be condoms. I really can't even toilet paper, you should have condoms. What about you, ladies? I agree. They're either in my purse right now. You never know what's going to happen in the studio. You guys have a purse, so the guy's seeing a carry around like a car. I think there's a stigma.

What do you think, Lori? Like, do you talk? Um, I usually carry them, but I will be honest, there have been a couple occasions that it didn't get used. Like, just a couple. I mean, I feel like the latex bothers me. And when I'm hella drunk, I will take that and run with it, because of the latex.

Well, it's interesting that you said that because there are non latex conams, which you should grab skin. Yeah. Okay, so these are like my new favorite condoms, SKYN. You should know this for all the people you guys are banging, or potentially banging, that a lot of women do have allergies to latex skin. They're, it's poly isoprene and it's a different material than latex and they actually feel

really, really good. They're soft and they're thin, but they're super durable. You should get all over that. Just use Serran Rapil. Yeah. Don't listen to any tips like that for a minute. So, okay, a question for ladies, the ladies here. Studies have shown, and I know the typically, that women want to feel safe, and they want to feel comfortable, and when they're with somebody, they always say that the sex you have with someone that's more casual is not as good as when you're in a committed relationship. And even typically for women to orgasm, they need to be, you know, they always say like

I have to know my body, I have to know them for a while, and the sex isn't as great. What would you say about that? I'd say that's true. I'd say that's true now at the age I am now. I mean, when I was younger, I think the exciting thing about casual sex is the thrill of the chase. You know, you're out and you see someone, you spend the evening pursuing them and flirting and you don't know in the back and forth and all that shit.

And then by the time you actually do the deed, sometimes you're like, that was it. Right, exactly. All that for that. It's the adrenaline. It's the dopamine. It's that excitement and then you get in like, right. And you know, I mean, sometimes it's just face it. First time sex can be awkward because you don't know each other's bodies and what you're in do and what not.

So, where I am now, yeah, absolutely. When you're with someone and you know them and you trust them and they know how to turn you on and get you off and all these things, they know what works for you. That kind of chemistry, that's definitely better. Okay, I think it's better. Yeah, I usually will have sex on the first day

and it's almost always awful. Like, it's just, it doesn't, doesn't ever work out. The best sex I've ever had is like two years into a four-year relationship. Right, because you're more comfortable, you're talking about it, you know. Right, no, each other. Okay, so Jordan and Justin, like, so when you're with someone new the first time, like you guys probably think it's always awesome the first time, no? I mean, like, I forgot, no.

I said nine or seven times, it's kind of bad. Really the first time? Yeah, unless you either... Why's it awesome the first time, no? I mean, I forgot, no. I say nine or seven times. I came. It's kind of bad. Really the first time? Yeah, unless you either. Why is it bad? What makes it bad? One's I've been with are not as comfortable as where my friends with benefits. I am very open to a lot of things, and I like being as active as possible and move.

Very crazy. Oh, it's watching important. Okay, let's copy that. But if you can't really pull it out on the first night, because most girls aren't as comfortable, because you've been with each other. Justin, it's watching porn. Okay, let's copy that. But like, if you can't really pull that out on the first night because most girls aren't as comfortable because you need each other. Right, I was like, hey, Justin, let's go somewhere after this. I'm kidding, the first time I went to it, he was like having a party,

it was like just big, huge porn screen. I'm like, hey, my friends are like, anyway, I was just talking to pictures. Justin, the guy with the porn, it's what you're known for. And you're like a legend. But here's my question for you though. So you're saying to me then, is the first,

you have these one night stands, and then, so the sex isn't as great. So you have to wait for the two month mark till it gets more comfortable, but then it's over. So you gotta start out, keep starting over again. Yeah, I mean. That's okay though. That's what I will get.

I'll take it. So what are the crazy moves and things that you wanna try after like you've known them for well? Crazy. I'm a big fan of of a pull-up bar. A pull-up bar? Oh, yeah. Like over the door and just getting some crazier.

Like, you're a pull-up bar that you're doing like this. Yeah, and this is not a synchronized swimmer or a gymnast who is very flexible. That's very interesting. Wait, but most people girls are fine which is laying on the backs or just being riding up. But you pull, I don't know, just try and understand. No, I hold that. Pull up, can we back up to this? Yeah, let's go. Who's on the back so we're just being right. But like, you pull, I don't know, just trying to understand. No, I hold that.

I'm pulling back. Can we back up to that? Yeah, let's go. Who's on the bar in this? The girl is most often on the bar, and it's more. She's like this, hang on the bar. Yeah, or we'll like hold them up

as anything's happening or we'll lower the bar down. Can you like go down it, like so maybe that's a good way? Yeah. Do you perform oral sex on these? Oh my God. Oh my God. No, no, no, most of the time. I'm, I'm just like, you know, you give oral sex on these women? Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Most of the time.

I'm, I'm a, like, you know, you give, I give, I'm all for that. But she has to get first. Not necessarily. But usually. Fit, we got 60, 40. Okay. 60, 40, because my friend, he,

he says Tinder's like a blowjob to Spencer. He's like every girl that's gives a blowjob in the first day. Lori's nodding. Is that what you do? I, yeah. I mean, I will. I mean, absolutely.

The thing is, like, most of my relationships have started as casual sex, and then they turn into, like, a super serious relationship. So... Could you must give a killer blowjob? I, I really do. Yeah, and I learned more like a killer blowjob. We saw last night. Oh my god, I gave a blowjob workshop, that she was my model on the dildo and it was it was pretty impressive

I just have to say she stole the show um Tara how about you with um sex and being I don't know or like do you feel like I'm gonna see you at oral sex okay Do you find that many women that they need more direction where do they prefer so I did they perform all sex and you right away or do you feel like they're waiting for you to give the job first? It's I find most men love love performing all sex only a few times Couple times in my life have I come across men that are like it's not my thing which you know deal breaker So I know I agree. I totally I totally agree It's not something I require every day I totally agree. No, I agree.

I totally agree. It's not something I require every day, but I like it, and I like performing it, but I'm not, I'm definitely not that girl who does it on the first date or even right away. It's, I don't know, it makes me, it is intimate. I want to do it when I like someone, you know. Right. I got to like a guy, but then I'm into it. If you like him, then you're like your penis.

What were you into Justin, were you going to say something about? Oh, no, I'm just, I If you like him, then you're like your penis. What were you gonna say to Justin, were you gonna say something about? Oh, no, I just feel the need to sort of back up a little bit here and talk about, like for me, what a casual encounter is, all the long-term relationships that I've ever had have started as casual encounters. But for me, a casual encounter is still,

has to be an encounter with someone with whom you have a connection and you feel a strong attraction. And that's not just physically owe your hot, but wow, I really dig your mind and we're like clearly vibing on each other. And typically when that happens and it's undeniable, then you're just going to rip each other's clothes off right away anyway. So it kind of happens quickly.

So this idea of sort of casual relationships, it's, I guess by the definition of a, I don't really know that person very well, but I'm gonna go and hook up with them and have sex with them. That's not something that I do. Okay, so you really have to have that. I mean, I agree with you. I mean, I haven't had a ton of, I mean, just random casual, I know, believe it or not.

I mean, I've had maybe a few one nights, I don't know, not many, like, because I typically, for me, I have to have like that connection, like, I agree with intellectual and physical, and then it can move into something else. And I guess if you're really drunk, maybe, but I don't get that drunk. I think if I was a bigger drinker, I'd have more of those stories. Totally.

I've never had a one-night stand. Right, ever. You've got to work on that. They're overrated. Jordan, what about you? You care? Is it more like hot chicken at the bar? Like, you don't really care. You gotta work on that. They're overrated. Jordan, what about you? You care, is it more like hot chicken at the bar? Like, you don't really care, you'd rather not talk.

It's okay. Yeah, I go 18 to 60. That's like, if you're following that range, we're good to go. 18 to 60? Yeah, I'm not as picky. It's more like, oh, if I've made eye contact, I can sell like, oh, you're looking like you're interested.

It's like, okay, I'll go over, say some cheeky banter, blah, blah, blah, moving forward, and then go from there. So for you, it sounds like it's kind of about the conquest. That's like a little work. That's what it is. That's what I mean. I mean, hey, it's like, I'm exhausted.

Just listen to it. I mean, whether it's doing that at the bar or swiping right on the half, it's like, you're doing work. It's just how much you want to put in, and then what's the result? Okay, but have you ever had one of these, where you're, oh god, I really, well clearly not, but I'd like to her, but not, not, not, I think that your emotion thing is like, motion very low.

Have you had therapy? Oh, too many years. Really? Okay, I just feel like there's a break, but you know, your twenties, here's a thing though. I don't want to get to that. I almost feel like I wish that I, I mean, I made up for it in the years, but I'm saying in my 20s, I was like relationship relationship. I'm not saying there's a better, worse way to do it, but right now you're just having fun. So, how about blow jobs? Let's get into blow jobs.

How about blow jobs? Hey, how about those blow jobs? Did you want to go back to the emotional? No, I'm like, I just just to try to make it deeper. Justin, you really grown into a man. Because you actually, I remember when I met you and I started doing my show and you did actually which I'll never forget gave me your three tips for a great blow job.

That's right. Do you still remember them? I do. It was technique. Sure. Enthusiasm. Yeah. And how she looks while she's doing it. Sure. Enthusiasm. Yeah. And how she looks while she's doing it.

Correct. Because I don't know. There was like a show in 2006 I was doing. But do you still, and how often do you come across good blow jobs these days? Well, on a perk, encounter basis, like percentage, I would say, I would say maybe 70% good. Okay.

You know? All right, and Jordan, what about you? I'm up there like 16, 17. Is it like pizza, though? Like there's not a thing that's bad pizza, like a blowjob. Oh no, no, no, no, there's bad pizza. Okay, what is a bad pizza? Oh no, any one of them, take away any one.

What makes a blowjob not as enjoyable? So number one, the most important thing is enthusiasm and passion on her part. She's a part in the front, part in my French, but worship the cock. Right. You know what I mean? Where she's like, loves it, is totally into it. If she's shy and tepid and a little scared and unsure, it kind of makes you feel uncomfortable because it's like, well, you know, you've got my cock in your mouth, but you're unsure shy and tepid and a little scared and unsure, it kind of makes you feel uncomfortable because

it's like, well, you've got my talking room out, but you're unsure about it. There's something just instantly unsexy about that. That's true. I always say that. I always say the enthusiasm. We talked about it last time. I work shop that I've always said it and I knew that I agreed with you with your things, some of them.

I don't know if I've been at order, but I think enthusiasm is number one. Even for oral sex, a guy, we don't want anyone between our legs who's like, their eyes are going back in their head, they're checking their phone. We want to know that they're into it, that they want to be there. Especially when a guy's going down to you too. Or the two seconds he goes down and you're like, well, not enough, I'm sticking out of it. I'm like, are you kidding?

No, one of those guys that I ran into years ago, somebody who really wanted to date me and he wasn't into oral sex. But he's like, I'll try it for you, because that's how much you liked me. But yeah, exactly two seconds. And I'm like, Oh, just go. Just get out. Yeah. I'm just going to like get it horrible.

I'm going to make it wet enough so I can take my piece inside you. And like, that's not Oral Sex. It's obvious you're not into this. And I know. So what makes good Oral Sex? For you. My number one thing when receiving Oral Sex is that it's so important not to just go right for the clip like the build up If I could tell every guy that's ever gone down on me and ever will like please

Please maintain some sort of suspense and build up and then and then it'll come like that But if you like to start that yeah, if you start fast then you have nowhere to go and you just won't ever come. Right. I just, guys, we talked about this for two hours. I said, to the workshop, you can't go right for the clip. Like, that's, I get that you've learned what the clip is and I'm so happy that you know. I found it. Just, just got to go back on. You got to hold back. You got to do some staging on the Volvo, yes? Yeah, I was going to say what's going to come to the blow jobs also just apply pressure man pressure Nothing is worst when you have no pressure on it at all. Yeah, it's true

That's basically just floating around in your mouth Very very true. No, I'm serious you guys that was one of my that was one of my top five tips last night for For the boat that for blow jobs that if you stood too soft like you to think about your mimicking of a gin Now you're mimicking their hands, so you have to have that much pressure. How much pain is like in the fact you're not a cloud, you know? Right, that's a good one, man. I think fundamentally male and female anatomy

and what feels good are kind of on other ends of the spectrum, where a penis is pretty much resilient and pretty like bulletproof, like you can squeeze it, whack it, right, right, right, right. you know, they're tough, they're tough. And they would kind of require a lot of pressure and effort, whereas a woman's vagina is anything but. Right, exactly. Just after a lighter touch,

a story's like vagina, what? That's why the vagina's considered flower or penis is wood. Exactly. We're very different on it. It was very, very different. So, in case I have a question,. So um, okay, so the question If you guys do you think that that men and women have different expectations for casual and sex partners?

Like do you feel like that it's the same like what are your expectations from someone really? Is it just like return my call at 11 o'clock at night because we're gonna hook up or do you do you feel It gets more complicated with the casual sex part? We make it complicated. I don't even know if it's necessarily even a man-woman thing. It's like an individual thing. Every single person has different expectations and different wants and needs and requirements and whatever, and issues and mental blocks,

whatever they have, when it comes to sex. And you don't know what you're getting into. You just hope that it's going to sort of mesh with yours so that it can last as long as it can, and usually it doesn't. Right. OK. So what about, do you think that women are,

I don't know, like you've all these casual relationships, but if they start getting it, or the women are like, come on, what you might parent, like, is that ever happen? Or like, where were you fighting night? Like the second, what happens? Not really. That's why I try and preface as much as possible. I will continue to say, even after we've had sex,

I'm like, look, this was very fun. We may do it one time or size, but this is going nowhere. I try and be as straightforward as possible, because I've seen the other girls that I'm friends with being led on by these assholes. I was like, oh, we might have a relationship or whatnot. But in the end, it's the same stuff they just wanted to have, it's actually as long as possible,

and then cut out when they realized, oh, wow, I have to meet the family now. I'm done. So I try and be as honest and straightforward as possible and I feel that me doing that, they could be line-shades my face, I don't know, but with that, it works better for at least me. Okay, can I answer your question?

Any of these women that you hook up with, that you have sex with, do you really, do you like them as people sometimes? Ha ha ha. You really don't, want to hang out with them next to it? You're like don't let the door hit you in the ass. Ah, no, I'd shine. I leave. I'm not more of like, I'd shine ready to their turf. They're more comfortable and it's like, if worse case,

now if I do say over that night, yes, I will get a food with you. I'm not going to be a complete dick about it. Is there like friendly pillow talk afterward? Where are you like? I mean, I mean, oh, you wanna watch some friends? Like, I got some comments. I'm like, it's just a pillow. Do you like women?

Yes, I do. You do. I think that's a good point though. But you're not finding like, you're not talking to them about like feelings or things you like or emotions. I know my emotions and feelings of scale is very low for right now.

And like, there is that side eventually that can come out, but right now, like you said, it's my 20s. Like, I don't even want to consider having a relationship. Like, there's too many beers out there in the world. I need, I want to try a lot of them before I even consider. Like, oh, wow, that's my favorite beer. Like, let's look it for that and see what she brought to table and then try and find that again.

Did you find a nice, hoppy one? So you just let go. I mean, yeah, I think eventually you're gonna, oh, that's gonna be something will happen, but you're very honest about this. I appreciate that because I meet people online sometimes, like half and half with you, and oftentimes they'll say, like, looking for a relationship,

and I meet them, and they talk to me as if they're looking for a relationship, they give me unsolicited compliments and love and then act like how you're talking, you know? And so if someone were to say like, if someone were to say like, this is never going anywhere, it's only sex, I'd be like, yes, thank you so much for letting me know. Don't you also run into a lot of women that absolutely don't believe you when you're saying all this stuff? Yes. Yeah, that it's tough to convince someone like I'm like, look, I'm not lying to you.

Like, please understand because I've been down this road. You're just testimonials. Yeah, but let me just call my friend real quick. Yeah, it would be easy, but there is definitely resistance. Yeah, like for nerfones. I have to throw them. I think it's full of wool. Oh, phones. What? Just keep getting a new Google number.

God, you guys so funny. So is it Tinder? You've used Tinder too. So do you find that people are saying yes, I want it. And they don't. Laura, you're having that experience with that as well. Absolutely. Over and over.

I feel like maybe that's these guys' ways of hook and a girl is to pretend like they're looking for a relationship when they're not. Are you, but do you think that you might be projecting that too much right away? And then they're afraid of that? That I feel like I go in pretty cautious

because I know that I catch feelings. So I go in pretty. Yeah, but do you think you project that? Like, oh, I'm really looking for a solid relationship. Like, too early on, one getting to know somebody. Maybe you don't pick up on that, and then they get scared and run away. Well, they don't run away.

It's like too much too fast. They don't run away. It's just kind of, they're not do everything for something. So I should not. I'm trying to say like, I should be dishonest about it. No, no, I'm not saying don't be dishonest. Do you think she gets like eating and clinging? Right. Is that it?

Well, I don't want to say it in my face. Right, but I just said it. Yeah. But yeah, it might just be like, well, this might be moving too fast for me. And then the guys may have been fully participate in the quick movement, though. Yeah, I mean, any guys would. Yeah. And the other thing is, is that we have to talk about the attachment thing.

So the reason why I started out saying inherently, it is sort of like Justin was saying earlier, like it is kind of like I think how men have always wanted it. Maybe they've reluctantly gotten into relationships, but for women it's biological. We have the oxytocin We get attached after we have sex and an orgasm with someone we get attached many women do and and so it's it's interesting because Men also have the oxytocin that spikes it spikes, but it drops if I fall asleep right after a women are like oh my god That's why I always say it's best. I mean, I don't know, rolls weight three months, but if you actually like someone,

like you like one of these guys, let's say, I would say withhold, not withhold, but weight-tev sex. Weight-tev sex. Weight-tev sex, weight-tev sex, weight-tev sex, weight-tev sex, weight-tev sex, weight-tev sex, weight-tev sex. Weight-tev sex, weight-tev sex, weight-tev sex, weight-tev sex. Weight-tev sex, weight-tev sex, weight-tev sex. Weight-tev sex, weight-tev sex.

Weight-tev sex, weight-tev sex. Weight-tev sex, weight-tev sex. Weight-tev sex. Weight-tev sex. Weight-tev sex. Weight-tev sex. Weight-tev sex. Weight-tev sex. have sex too soon, then they just think they just they can't see the red flags waving in the distance I would say because they're just attached to the sex part. So the more longer you wait to have sex someone you actually get to learn more about the person their character. Do they even, you know, a good person. I know, but like, yeah, I've given you, I've given you so many vibrators at this point. I know. I know. I know. Let Emily Oprah Clause and show you

her arsenal of things that will hold you over for a while. She knows. She knows. She's like in my office. So I'm curious to see. So here's another thing, a little study here that I just wanted to, it was kind of going back to that. It says, this is what it says, is that I'm going to find this.

It was just more about how women just have a harder time, like I was saying, with attachment. And, okay, forget it, doesn't matter. It's a cause, okay, wait. In 1989, okay, the stigma has gotten better, but it still exists. The stigma with having sex too soon or whatever, if men are judging women,

especially for women. So in 1989, study asked male and female participants if they would engage in sex with a stranger, if men are judging women, especially for women. So in 1989, said he asked male and female participants if they would engage in sex with a stranger, if propositioned. 70% of men said yes compared with 0% of women. This is in 1989. 2012, a new research discovered that women said no for two reasons. So they're still saying no. Number one, they don't want to be labeled as a slut.

So they're still like this labeling thing. and they don't think the sex would be very good. Like, we talked about it, because really is the sex that great on the first thing we were saying. Like, the guys are good. You guys are like, it's not so bad. The first thing gets better. But not like I said before, I think, one night stands are overrated.

They are. You just, you don't really know what you're getting at. It's more about like the chase and the excitement on that. So this, another report was casual sex has been seen as a male activity for some time, a recent pull from Self Magazine, says that women do enjoy the anonymous hookup. It analyzes a response of 2,000 unattached women between the ages of 18 and 63.

Jordan, that might have been someone that you just have to act with. And found that 82% of them have engaged in casual sex. So I just think there's like a shelf life and it can't go on forever, but maybe we need to alter our behaviors if we are looking for something serious. So I'm gonna have you guys help me answer an email,

if anything else you wanna say? No, no, no, I'm waiting for the emails. You know I love this. I know, you guys. We're gonna do a little round table answer of an email here. You guys are awesome. Is there anything else you guys wanted to say about? See, anything else you guys want to say about casual sex

or the relationship or anything? You want to add? I think it's awesome. Very helpful. I wanted to note from Jordan, did you think that if a woman has a high number of sexual partners in her history, that makes her like slutty? Does that turn you off to her? No, I'm absolutely not one to judge.

If anything, like if you have a higher number, it's easier for me to identify with you because I know you've been through this almost as many times I have. Yeah, I don't think so. Guys, I mean, there's a few guys, I don't think a large majority of guys that actually care. Don't you think it's just, I hate to say it

because I'm gonna get an email. But do you think a lot of it is just women judging other women thinking that they're sluts? Of course. Yeah, it's a big heart. I think it's men too, though. No, I think this is actually a really good point. But I'm not saying that guys don't say that,

but I feel like a large majority of guys do not care. And it's just other women judging each other saying that they're sluts. I think there's a double standard. Grab a bottom. Yeah. I mean, I think the double standard still exists. Because here's the thing, there's the guys who are like,

first of all, let me just say this, don't ever talk about your number with your partner. I mean, I think the double standards still exist. Because here's the thing, there's the guys who are like, first of all, let me just say this, don't ever talk about your number with your partner. They ask, I don't care. Like, it's like a don't ask, don't tell. Don't even know your number. Don't even, exactly, forget your number. I don't know, right?

Don't know your number, that's actually a good point. But this conversation never ends well because, first of all, why do we need to know that? And like, either the person might judge you and think, God, she's a slut or he's a, you know, whatever, a bit of so many people or God, they don't have enough experience and they either way, it doesn't end well. But I also do think I know some guys who are like, if I know her number and she's been with you and he will, and I don't want to be with her.

Like, because that, I want someone, it's kind of the Madonna whore thing. Like I want a banger, but she's not the woman I want to sleep with and then there's some guys who are like I like that you've experienced. Like I appreciate that. And so I just think just don't forget to talk about it. It's mine. It's mine. Well because it's not important. Or do talk about it and if you're a woman who has a higher number and you're perfectly comfortable with your sexuality and your behaviors and it's healthy in your own mind. And a guy is turned off by that number. Well guess what? That's nothing guy for you.

Exactly. But I just also think it's good to talk about like what you like. All this, I always see people don't talk about sex enough. The thing is like, talk about what you like, what you don't like, but to sit and go like I had sex with two, twenty-six people. Like it just sound an interesting, it doesn't get you anywhere. Just so people can find information that is usually not helpful. Okay, an email.

Ready. Hey Emily. I would love to hear your views about the hypocrisy in Hollywood regarding sex and specifically casual sex. I read the headlines around the current bachelor at being vilified for having casual sex on a reality show. Well, I do despise reality TV and never, never watch the show.

Talk about a double standard. Sex and one night stands are so sensual, sensual sensual that sensationalized and fake movies and things exactly what I was saying okay who are making these comments so I guarantee you if I go on Twitter who's calling her a slut I can probably break down the numbers for you and I guarantee you a large majority of the people talking

ish on on the bachelor or women right well that a large majority of the people talking ish on the bachelor or women. Right. Well, that's the majority of people watching, I think, that show. I don't think you have a lot of heterosexual guys watching the video. Guys are obsessed. Yeah, I don't know.

You can't avoid it. It's also on the news, too. So guys are going to, guys are going to comment it on it also. Oh, you can avoid it. You do have a point, though. You do have a point. I will give you that as far as women, but I think just comes back to that competition factor between women. Yeah, it comes down to that and and and glad that you admit it because like I try to bring this up all the time. I go, why

was there always be I'm not saying all women, but negative comments about a woman crossing crossing the street like saying all in but negative comments about a woman crossing crossing the street like women bash other women because it makes them feel better. I know I think it's horrible. I mean I really try I never do I don't talk about it. But no woman no no woman do. No woman ever looked at a man in lingerie and said what a slot. Yeah. You know what I mean it's like it's like it's got it's got to be a real person that's supposed to threaten them and to them and that's it. Maybe two, it's their jealous. Maybe I don't know the celebration other than what I've read, but maybe they're like, damn, I wish I could just have a one night or a lot of guy and not be judged.

It's a pretty good thing. Exactly. So it's of a steam is jealousy, it's competition, and they're actually seeing it on TV, so it's, they're like that. So what was the question specifically? I didn't finish the question. So talk about double-stand sex in one night stands are so sensationalized and fake movies and TV shows every day. But when a real person

has casual sex, it's right back to She's a slut. The same people that made Kim Kardashian a household name after sex tape are slamming this person thoughts Adam from Chicago. Well, I don't necessarily think that's true. I mean, I think that's kind of the thesis of this whole show is that it's not like it used to be where if somebody, you know, was discovered that they were having casual sex that, oh, you know, woman is a slut, I think that is changing. So I don't necessarily agree with that.

But apparently everyone's been realifying this batch, all right? Is that true, right? Yeah, I mean, all the entertainment news. The one that you want to bang. Stuff like that. I mean, they pretty much is. Caitlin, right? Yeah, I mean, all the entertainment news stuff like that. I mean, they pretty much just, Caitlin, right? I mean, they pretty much just read, you know, what the internet feedback is on social media.

Well, let's be honest. We're not talking about real people real life. This is a television show, and the whole artifice of this show is so maddening to me, because you're going to give people five, 15 minutes over the course of an entire series to spend time together and they're supposed to decide if they're supposed to get married. I know. I know. It's absurd.

If you break into the situation that they're commenting about, that happens on a day-to-day basis, not even in front of a camera. That's true. But with reality TV, there's just so much more fodder for it now that you're like, what you feel like. So there's so many people like you jump in and you comment on it. I think it's just human nature that people either need to jump on bandwagon's,

because they need to feel a part of something and part of a community. Or they need to take sides, because they need to feel like they're on a team. It really just boils down to people and belong. So they wanna chime in, because then they're saying the same thing as this guy. And that means they fit in with that crowd. And it's my very...

Yeah, it's on my mom about this actually last week when it came out. And she had an interesting view in the sense that she used the spatula as a fantasy romance. So in a romance, typically, you don't have that one I'd stand leading up to. It's more like, oh, it's a build up, and then that special night in the fantasy suite, that's why I like to usually wait to it. And the fact that you shouldn't have to deny the attraction you feel. I don't care if it's a first day, 50th day,

if you feel it and you want it, go for it. And it's just because they're so used to it for 20 season or whatever. That's been just this romantic, you know, whole build up. Like, it's like, it's like, it's in modern day like Cinderella. Yeah. It's like all these men like, I just think the it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it just wonder if, you know, who's having a hard time with it?

Because this is clearly a trend. This is clearly what's happening in their 20s. You say more so than not, because we've kind of a split room here that that's what people are doing like they are. Like that's, they're going into it, thinking it's casual beyond a relationship. And, you know, a lot of studies are common,

common, you know, wisdom or knowledge is that women like can't handle it and they're actually going along with what men want. And so they've kind of socialized, they think think like, well none of my friends are wanting relationships now and I'm just wondering if it's you know, I think it's shifted the way back. Everyone's going to have her peace. I think it's really healthy because you've got now used to be the only option was okay if you're going to sleep with somebody it better be pretty serious and if you sleep in with them well then you get a relationship, and there's a path that that's gonna take

into a relationship and marriage and whatever. And I think it's really refreshing that this is at least a viable option that gives people, like you say, that waiting period, which is so important to really get to know somebody, because you don't know somebody for like a year. You know, if you live with it. You're in a half, I think you're absolutely right.

So it's at least it's an option, because if you have a series of casual encounters, well, you never know which one's going to stick, and one of them might surprise you, and my God, I actually really like this person, and they're really growing on me. And the more I learn about them, the more I like, and the more I'm attracted to them. And I think that's the healthiest approach to finding a real solid relationship. Yeah, so maybe it is a good trend. People should be using more protection.

But also, yeah, I think it's, because the other turnip was like our friends, like we were saying, Taran, our small towns, you got married to the first guy. They suffered the second or third. Most of my friends, you got married to 25, but like four partners. Which means like, you know what I mean?

They had an Ebola, right? I think four last week. I'm not, I've not been having a lot of sex lately. I'm just gonna say that. But no, but I'm saying it's like, that's really it, but that's different thing. So yeah, Rob, you're good been having a lot of sex lately. I'm just gonna say that, but no, but I'm saying it's like, that's really it, but that's different thing. So yeah, Rob, you're good, you're loving Rob. Well, he's living the life of a child.

Jordan, I don't even know why I didn't sleep. He's living in a life of a 20 year old dad. You're kind of rocking it, right? Like you're... I tried to hold it down, but you know, when you get to be old folks like us, you're gonna realize it's too much work and you're gonna find somebody cool.

It's true. I admire what you're doing because you are honest, but exactly, it does sound like. Okay. What are you guys doing? I'm sorry, I keep asking questions of Jordan, I'm kind of fascinating. So, where is your quality scale?

So your age scale is 18 to 60. What is the quality scale? Like on, you know, one to 10, like, do we discriminate? I mean, are we, you know, it's like- We have a full set of teeth. It's like, it's like George Carlin once said, I never banged to 10, but, do we discriminate? I mean, are we, you know, it's like- We have a full set of teeth on our hands. It's like George Carlin, one set.

I never banged a 10, but one night I fucked five twos. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I just go with the motto, everyone likes to be taken care of. And I don't really, you know, you might have a- So you, you find, you're not super discriminating.

You're an equal opportunity. That's the best way. Equal to the equaler. Very generous with the people. So just not one, okay, you don't have likeating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. That's the best way. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. That's the best way. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. That's the best way. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. That's the best way. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not super discriminating. You're not at this moment. Oh, not at this moment. Not at this moment. Anyone else? Anyone else? OK. Well, OK. Justin, Jordan, Tara, Laurie, Menace, Iraq.

Thank you. Anything else you want to say? No. Well, find you on Twitter and Instagram. Just Menace, ME, and A.C.E. And so I don't fill my timeline with dog photos. My dog has his own Instagram. My dog, Churro dog photos. My dog has his own Instagram. My dog, Churro, follow.

My dog, Churro. Okay, I'm gonna follow it. I'm gonna post all of that. Thank you all so much for being here. Thank you, Madison, for amazing show, for producing. And also follow us, you guys, because you know, we give some good social media stuff too. So check me out on Instagram and Twitter.

It's at sexwithemily and Facebook.com slash sex with Emily. Anything else that we got to talk about, Madison? All right, everyone. Thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemley.com. Okay, one more time.

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