Sex With Emily - Compliments & Orgasm Confidence

Episode Date: January 23, 2020

On today’s show, Dr. Emily is giving you better ways to give and receive compliments, plus she’s answering your sex & relationship questions.She gives you ways to give amazing compliments and receive them like a pro – because it isn’t always easy, thoughts on being multi-orgasmic as a penis owner, what the real deal with squirting is and whether anyone can do it. Plus, the best lube for those at different stages of life.Follow Emily on all social @sexwithemilyFor even more sex advice, tips & tricks, visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and on today's show I'm giving you ways to better give and receive comments because hey, it is a communication art form and it makes you feel good, especially if you can take it in. Plus, I'm answering your sex and relationship questions. Topics include how to give amazing compliments and receive them like a pro because I get it. It ain't always easy. Thoughts on being multi orgasmic as a penis owner. And what's the real deal with squirting and can everyone do it? And also the best loops for those

at different stages of life. All this and more, thanks for listening. Besides, they're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bitrumized, they call them in a fight on day. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand.

Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common with only what do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so so grown. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between.

For more information, check out sexwithemily.com. You can find us on all social media. It is Sex with Emily across the board. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, we love seeing it. Intentions with Emily. So starting this year, I've decided that we should all set intentions before we start listening to the show, or even if you're doing it right now. And what I mean is when you're listening, think about like why am I listening to this?

What do I want to get out of this show? Maybe just want to be entertained and that's super cool. Or maybe it could be like, oh, I actually liked the idea of compliments. I need to figure out how to take a compliment. I realize that I crave them. But when people give them to me, I just brush them off. Or could be I just want to be more thoughtful communicator. My intention is to, for the show, is to give you all more communication tools that you know help you help your partner out Maybe your love languages words of affirmation. I had to find out like oh, yeah I really I am words of affirmation and so I need that from a partner So if they're gonna give me the communication and they're gonna give me these compliments

I have to learn how to take it in myself. All right guys, enjoy the show. How do you give and receive compliments? So I feel like compliments are so interesting because I feel like we all sort of crave them, many of us do, or we say we don't because we don't know how to take them. So I think there's some you're like, I don't want compliments because it feels so awkward.

I think that we feel like somehow we're less than or we should make ourselves small and we receive a compliment. We have to say like, oh, this old thing, like as women you're like, oh, I got this on sale. Like if someone compliments your dress or really, I just threw myself together. But I think it's also how we feel appreciated

in relationships. And I think a lot of times we just feel underappreciated. I mean, in a lot of places. And the same receptors, here's the interesting about compliments. The very same receptors light up in our brain when we get a compliment are activated when we get a monetary reward. So you get a bonus at work and your partner tells you you're hot.

Either way, I like that. Or your boss says good job. So it also benefits. And the more we compliment people, the more it makes us more optimistic as well. Like it actually fits like you know they say it's better to give them receive, start giving compliments when you're out and about, when you're seeing something

that you appreciate about somebody. And I feel like it's funny. So when I was in San Francisco, I was sitting there with my friend. We were sitting outside waiting for an Uber and there was this really pretty woman. And she was like, she was just this beauty. I was watching her on the curb. She was talking to this guy.

It was like, very San Francisco, which is the fleece capital of the world. Yeah. She's like, bring a backpack and like a Patagonia and she was, she's like, leggings on. And she was just so cute talking to this guy. And I just want to try. I was like, I just want to tell you that I think you're so beautiful. I love your look. She was like 26 years old or something.

She's like, oh, wow, thanks. Really? Oh my God, I'm just running around and just sweating. Like, no, you just look great. I want to tell you. And I was like, I just think when I see something or some woman or some man, anything I appreciate, I want a compliment. I feel like it's a practice to get into, but who doesn't appreciate it?

I love giving and receiving compliments. Like I'm always like, it makes me feel better to know that that also brightens someone's day. Yeah. And it's like, because like when I get a compliment, like on my outfit, even or just like random thing, like I'm always like, yeah. Thank you so much.

Right. I so appreciate that because we're all wearing it to make ourselves feel better. But of course, if someone knows, knows of course if someone notices you feel good You're like I got so many compliments on this like we just it's just got to currency. Yes. I had an ex boyfriend He used to call affirmation nuggets. He's like oh you didn't get your little affirmation nugget I'm like no, I did not oh my god. Yeah, he was like okay I think you're you're great or hot or doing great work. I think you like just

I think you're great or you're hot or doing great work. I think you like to send me an email. Like thanks bud, you know, it's like. I do email, I like that. It's back in the day. This is the boyfriend I had before texting. It was email or maybe it was the same time, but we were more of emailers. And he'd send me emails.

He's like, here's your nugget for the day. But he would also, so I want to talk about you guys is how to give good compliments. Because I think if you're not giving them, maybe you don't know how, or maybe you have been thought about it. So I think this is going to be unleashing a lot for people because also if words of affirmation is your love language and don't forget that we all want love in every five all five of the ways, but this is just a great one to learn.

And then also when you talk to about how to receive them, but when you make them sincere. So it has to be genuine and people can tell when you're not time the truth, but when you're like really sincere and like specific, I think it's really helpful. So like come up with something that you truly feel about someone and like it also helps you because if you're like for example, if you're in a relationship and you're like really appreciated that your partner every day this week

made you coffee and like you were just like usually they don't do that or maybe it was a few times you could I tell you that I so appreciated the way you got up early and made the coffee it made such a difference on my way to work that I had it ready to go like little things because sometimes we just feel like oh they know I appreciate it but like being genuine about things that really happened if you were so moved by something like let your partner know I think it feels really good right genuine compliments that always reminds me though of like in Mean Girls, when the main character is like, Oh, I love your scar.

Where did you get it? And then she goes, my mom in the 80s. And then like when she walked away, she was just like, that's the ugliest, ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen. It's like, that's so mean. Like why give this compliment to Brighton someone's day, but then like not really mean it. That's so mean girls. That's because mean girls. That because mean girls.

Well exactly. It doesn't, but it doesn't, you know, you know, if you ever got in a combo and you felt like, wasn't real, like, it does, it hits you differently. Probably. Yes, I'm sure I have. Oh, you look so good. That kind of thing, you're like the person hates you. Yeah, exactly.

I'm not you great. She's such a bitch. I'm not you great. She's such a bitch. I'm not you. I hate her. Did you see her hair? I'm sure that's happened. Can I just say something that I'm not you're great. She's such a bitch. I got a hate heart. Did you see her hair?

I'm sure that's happened. Can I just say something though? Also, I feel like when people have complimented me, it's because something's been different and they may have not actually liked it. Like one day I wore pink at eyeshadow and maybe it didn't actually look good but because it was different, they're like,

oh, I like your eyeshows. I think we will. Well, we told the phone because I'm pretty sure that was us and we all loved it. Yeah. We liked your pink eyeshadow. We don't do that around here. What are you trying to say something? I'm trying to get clarification. No, but you know what I mean?

Like, sometimes somebody's gotten a bad haircut and you say, oh, I really like your haircut, maybe you're like, it did look better longer. But, no, but I thought, well, where I thought you're going is those backwards compments where people are like, or they see you a year later, like, oh, your hair grew. Right, like they really say it positively.

They're like, oh, you finally, I'm so glad that, yeah, I've definitely, like backwards complements. Like, oh, I'm just glad you're wearing makeup is what you're thinking we're saying, or something like, you know, oh, no, no, that she's not. Like, no. I'm just glad you're wearing makeup is what you're thinking we're saying, or something like, you know, oh no, no, that she's not. I'm like, no, that's not about me, okay? I'm just saying, you guys, what is your favorite compliment? What do you guys think about compliments?

What is your favorite compliment? Do you give them? Why don't you give them? If you're stingy with your compliments, I wanna know why. Yes. And you can come in with any sex relationship, dating question, triplet, 9478277. The other thing is you guys, you have to pay attention to detail.

Look for qualities that you like people around. You like practice in your environment. Practice at work, practice. I believe me, people you work with, they'll appreciate it. People in stores are pretty, I'm from Michigan. Maybe we overthink. Like, thank you so much. Have a good day.

Thank you, thank you. But that's actually different than compliments too. So just being friendly, you can also add on, like, I like your, like, specific, like that's a great blue shirt. It really brings out your eyes. Jamie, I love your hair every day. You guys should see Jamie's hair. Aw, she's got this amazing, beautiful mane of hair.

It's like big and tough, all you all do. Grace, yeah. She's got a big hair Kristen Kristen has nice and long and thick and beautifully Alisa we got good hair in our team. Yeah, your hair is great too. Oh, thank I'm gonna tell you that this one You can I have the new crunchy. Oh now today it's really pretty to I know she's so healthy. I got in the car this morning. Take your hair looks kind of like thank God I love it. I know.

She said, healthy. I got in the car this morning, and she said, you're her looks kind of like, thank God. I said, every day, you just don't know. I really, I was out of conference call. She picked me up with like a tent to go to a meeting. I was like a few hours later at the hair now, because I didn't have time to curl it. It looks great though. Thank you.

I really love it. So I should keep it straight. It's easier to do it straight. I love straight. I love wavy. I mean, I just think you have great hair. Thank you. Thank you very much. So there you go.

I feel good. I these same receptors are lighting up my brain as if you paid me 20 bucks. I feel like some people like you see somebody, but you like that girl that you saw in the street. You didn't have to walk over there and tell her, but I think more of us have to do that because we think the compliment our head, but we don't actually go and do it like you did to that girl on the street. So you did have some comfortable. I did feel comfortable. She was talking to a guy.

I'm like, I know how that feels like if you ever I've been with a guy and then someone comes up, they're like, I love your outfit. Like if I'm with someone, I'm like, you know what I mean? And I was like, she's like, they were deciding if they should go somewhere. I was like, I'm just gonna go tell her because I was looking at her, blowing in the wind. She was really pretty. And I feel like it does feel really good. Like I know that she felt good, I felt good, it didn't cost me anything. Yeah, and I especially, I don't know if this is the same for you guys, but when a woman compliments me on my outfit,

I appreciate that so much more than if a dude did it. Yeah, nice ass, nice jeans, yeah. Like a chick, I'm always just like, thank you so much. I'll tell you know, it's like a real, real compliment. No, it's true. I stop people in the airport, I just in the airport, I'm always just like, thank you so much. I'll tell you know, it's like a real, real compliment. It's true. I stop people in the airport. I just in the airport, I'm like, love your outfit.

Great shoes. Even if I'm on the phone with great shoes, like I feel like I really try to point out to people, yeah, what I like about them, and this, this, you guys, I don't know, people just don't though. I feel like there's some people I know, my mom was saying she's a friend. Check out the friend of their 40,

or she's never giving me a compliment. Like I think we notice when people are like with holding Why do you think they don't you think that yeah? I know I think I think that people who don't Give them maybe have like self-esteem. They never got them or they don't want to it's too vulnerable Maybe also to be like if I give you a compliment then you're gonna have a reaction and then I'm gonna have to Indigate with you. Yes People wait listen most of the things that we do that are

upsetting other people, I don't think we're all walking around the planet trying to be assholes. Oh no, I think we're all trying to. No, but I think if we knew, like, oh, it's that easy. If I practice giving compliments, it'll actually get easier. Oh, and my partner will like it and they'll feel appreciate, especially if I'm specific. You can even write things down.

Oh, I like that my partner did this. I like that my partner did this, or I like that my friend did this. And the more specific you are, the more people will really actually be take it in. The more you see somebody, I love the way your eyes have that. I remember guys saying, you have this green,

when they noticed this brown circle, I don't even know where it is, something in my eyes. There's a brown circle around the green area, and they're like, I like the way your eye. I'm like, oh, it's so specific. They're really looking into my eyes. Yeah, I feel like I feel like your smile, you know, the way you laugh is so sexy. It's just nice. Like, if you show more interest, I feel like when you know that they're like really paying attention, like, their like, undivided attention is like on you.

Yeah, exactly. We have Vince and he wants to talk about how he compliments people. Hey Vince. Hey, everyone. How are you doing tonight? I'm so good tonight. Thank you. Awesome. You know, this is a great topic because the one thing that I always do, if I get great service, whether it's in a restaurant or if I'm out purchasing something, I always make it a point to ask to speak to the manager and the first look you get is like, oh my god, what the fuck did I do wrong? And then when the manager shows up and I always do the same tag line, I go, do you handle complaints?

And they go, yeah, so I go to you also handle compliments. And then whatever the person was, I always make sure that I point out the type of service I got and what I tell them, as I said, if this person worked in my industry, I'd hire them away from you. And that's that to me as the biggest compliment I can give some of those.

Yeah, Vince, that is great. Yeah. My girlfriend is in the service industry, and when we first started dating, and I did that, it just blew her mind that I went out of my way to make somebody else's day and to point it out to their bosses. That's really inspiring.

I'm gonna do that, Vince. I like that. That's true, because I used to be in the service industry. I was a waitress in college, waitress after college. Yeah, you know, it feels good to get those. That's great Vince. Yeah, no, I love it. And then that's how she fell in love with your girlfriend. She's a good person with a big heart. I like it. Thanks. Yeah, we got to do it, you guys. I feel like I always say like I always say like it should be easy. I used to always say like give your partner 10 compliments a day. I used to take early

hours during the show for like 10 compliments, that's so many. I'm like, but if you remember to do it, once I'm happy, twice. It just feels good. It lights you up. It makes us feel more appreciated. And I think like, give them often. You don't wanna hold back at all.

And then you also wanna be able to receive compliments. That's really hard for us too. Sometimes we're like, oh, I can't receive them. I feel awkward. I would feel like we don't deserve them. But I'm telling you some of the best advice I had about it. I've learned this to say thank you and smile. Thank you.

Thanks. And then the other trick is when you get a compliment to this lighting up receptors in your brain that make you happy, feel it. Like if you can just go, ah, that felt good. And then in your body, be like, I feel this compliment. I'm taking it in, letting it circulate through my body. And therefore, I feel good.

And that's my affirmation I get. I really like that. Yeah. Just breathing in the compliment. Breathing in the compliment. Write it down in your drill. I journalings all the rage right now. Well, because I feel like when you say, like, give 10 compliments a day, they're like,

what the fuck? But it doesn't, it's not the same compliment 10 times a day. You look great. You look great. You look great. Right, exactly. It's like, okay, then it loses the cheese.

I like it, she's right. It's cheese. Well, because I think that's what people think sometimes they just be like, I want you to call me pretty, but it's like, no, I want you to just like, say nice things to me. Say nice things, notice, like I appreciate the effort. Seems like you had a really good day at work.

I'm really proud of you for that promotion. or I love the way you handled that call. That was really that really sounded great and smart like it being specific. I think of that something that I've had to work on too. Like I can make amazing job or you're doing great, but people love specific. I love the way you handled that that show prep. I like the way you posted that picture on Instagram. I like the way you showed up at work today. And people really do hear it. And if you want your partner to do something and they never do it,

and all you're thinking is like, they've only taken out the trash once. Well, maybe next time they take out the trash, you're like, oh my God. Thank you for taking out the trash. That was not like finally, but like you appreciate the things that your partner does. We, I'm telling you, we all could stand to feel more appreciated and be more appreciative. It's funny that you brought that up though about being specific and saying those different things because whenever someone tells you like, oh, like that video that came out on the app,

I loved it. You're always like, oh, really what? Would you love about it? Yeah. You do that all the time, she does that all the time. Oh yeah. People like, I love your show. Like I'll even meet people when I'm out,

like listeners like, I love your show, I'm even meet people when I'm out, listeners like, I love your show, I'm like, what do you love? What do you hate? I'm like, okay fine, but what's your favorite thing? I'm like, all of it, this is the podcast for years. I'd go out like, okay, you love it, yeah. What's your favorite part? What do you hate?

I'm like, no, nothing, I'm like, okay, but if you had a cheat, I just find out. Anyway, I want your feedback, you guys. I always wanna make a great show. I always wanna help you have the better sex, better relationships, just be honest, and compliment a lot. Cause I love you, and you're looking great today. Okay, we're gonna take quick break,

and we come back, we're gonna get into your questions. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Let's talk to Joe 52 in Florida. Okay Joe. Okay. Great. You're going to want the women that are listening to the show to chime in on this one. How do women feel about a man that can have multiple orgasms?

Are you underwater Joe? How does that answer? How does that grab you? I mean the women that are listening to them. I think I've been with many of multiple orgasms and I think it's great. I love it. They have orgasm without ejaculation.

Is that what you're talking about, Joe? No, I mean, literally multiple. Oh, that's great too. If they can do three, that's amazing. Multiple, like one after the next. I think it's a good time. Why not? More pleasure for them, more pleasure for me.

I can add, you swammy to ask the women, I will take a poll. I've got four of them here. I've never experienced it personally, but I would love to. You would kick them out pleasure for me. I can add you swammy to ask the women I will take a poll I've got four of them here. I've never experienced it personally but I would love to. You would kick them out of your bed. Oh no I'd be like I'm having five they should have more exactly. See Kristen. Yeah I mean what does he mean exactly by that like right in a row? Yeah he doesn't need like 20 minutes to like wait like most guys are a fractured period but Joe what do you mean by the multiple? You know, I mean, I mean, I mean right in a row.

Damn, damn, damn. Right in a row. Yeah, I mean, I've never heard of this. Oh, I had a guy boyfriend in my house, 25, every time, three. Yeah, sounds amazing. Sign me up. Yeah, so Joe, no, we're never problem with that. No, we're all good.

Thanks, Joe. Does that help you? Does that answer your question? No, yeah, you're an angel. I like your show anyway. I really love your show. Oh, Joe. Oh, Joe, thanks, Joe. Glad to like the show. Thanks for calling.

Maltipulse. Like that. I would never limit orgasms. I would never be the orgasm police. You could only have one. Vunt orgasm for you. I mean, I guess the only stipulation potentially is that where is all of this come going?

I don't mind if it's on my body, but at the same time I need to know, like, are you gonna come three times? I need to stay still. Yeah. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean?

You keep swallowing, is it in my mouth? Yeah. One of them went in my eye over the time. Like, it's all funny. Oh, you gotta be caught up. You gotta block my face. I didn't know what to block like this. I was 25, like, whoa.

It's all funny. I literally like, my eye was like, like, right, right. I'm like, sorry. No, but how funny games do you get some coming your eye? It does sting, it only happened to me once, because I let one of my boyfriends, because he really wanted to come on my face, and it was like, okay, but only right before we get in the shower,

and we're going to dinner after, you're paying for it. And he got it in my eye, and I was like, that was the worst experience in my life. It's gonna hurt. He closed your eyes. I did, but it's like, that was the worst experience in my life. It's gonna hurt. He closed your eyes. I did. But it's like, you know, it gets you to be a pain. But then ever since then, though, literally,

I've just always instinctively blocked my face. And I see. Wait, that's sexy. So a guy comes and Jamie goes, whoosh, like, I'm just kind of like, you know. Like, depending on what position we're in, I just kind of, it's almost as if I'm like, you know, like fainting like on the couch,

like in the 1960s, just like, oh, right. It's just like, you can't see it if you're listening. That's hilarious. Like over the eyes, I'm just saying. Guys, multiple of those are good for all. That is hilarious, yeah. No, my guy, I mean, I just thought was that you thing,

you know, when you're younger, you can come, there's the refractory period for men, meaning the time it takes to have to an orgasm, one after the other. Next is takes a while. I mean, for men, it'd be 20, 40 minutes an hour, you'd older, it could be a day. For women, it can be like two seconds. Let's talk to Joanne, 45 in Illinois. Hey, Joanne, thanks for calling. How can I help?

Hi, thank you for taking my call. Of course. So my husband's been getting, he's been trying to get me to Squirt. And it is a thing really. I mean, he showed me, you know, some videos of women doing it. And I'm like, okay, fine. You know, but it's just not happening. So I, it is all women do it or some don't want to do the thing. I think that a lot of us took a question, Joanne. I'm so glad you called, because squatting's like all the rage. Like I can't tell you how many, just you on the show and my girlfriends in recent, I would say in the last year,

I've probably my married friends five or six have been like, so my husband wants me to squat. It's like a thing, Joanne. So I get, you're not alone and it comes from porn. I'm just gonna tell you, or just because, you know, people are seeing it now and it's a thing. Can women squat, yeah, I believe that you can learn to squirt. I feel like you, I mean, it's definitely through internal penetration.

So using a finger or a toy, pressing on like the interior, like the G spot or the internal orgasm, the internal orgasms, internal nerve endings, pressing down on the pubic mound, like right above your clitoris on the outside, you know where your like pubic air would be is Pressing on that area can help and just like letting go Having some towels down and just kind of breathing having orgasms letting them kind of go fast and penetrating you And then using it maybe a magic wand for me like for me and I found many women when you put the magic wand over your pubic mound It's a very it's a great sex story One of the first and and it's been really

interested in getting that. Oh, you talk about the more than really you want it. Joanne, I'm telling you, you're not going to regret it. It's always my standby. Like, I've been getting sex toys for 20 years, and that's the one. Like, if you have, don't have one, I say invest. It's not even that much money. It's worth it. Think of how much I use it. I think you like it. There's three. Okay. Okay, Joanne, let me know if you squared. Don't put all the pressure on yourself

and figured out together. I think it'll happen. Well, I know he's been trying all different things. I mean, it's fun. I'd say, well, practice makes perfect. And I'm not saying I don't like it. But I'm sometimes I'm like, is that a real thing?

Or is it? Because I've seen the thing I'm pouring. I'm like, maybe they're just fake. I don't know. It's only just really shoot out. If that's not going to happen to all of you, you're not going to shoot out like, maybe they're just fake. I don't know. It's all just really shoot out. It's really fake. That's not going to happen to all of you. You're not going to shoot out like gushes of the first time.

Like they know how they know when they're going to squirt. And then they like, they've literally trained their bodies like, this is what I'm going to thrust my pelvis up and make it look like squirt. And maybe there's some kind of fucking gun. They have a water gun underneath them. You know, we don't know. Right, Joanne? Right, right.

Just do you. Just slice that. Yeah. We don't know. Right? Joe Ann? Right. Right. Just do you. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. We don't know what's real one. Thank you. But you're welcome, Joe Ann. Let me know. It goes. I will be here for you. Now I want her to follow up Squirting Call. Who else can Joe Ann call back and be like, guess what? I'm like, I squirted. And let's talk to Dawson 55 in Texas. Hey Dawson, what's going on?

How can I help? Hey, great. Thanks for taking my call. Question. What is the best lubricant for my wife and I, someone who's post-pairing or post-pairing oposal, brain or course? Uh-huh. And, too, why would she be experiencing pain that doesn't permit full penetration? You know, Dawson, because for many women who go through menopause, they start to experience

more pain because the vaginal walls become thinner, there's less estrogen, and so just sort of atrophies. And so this means that she could, she could go see a specialist around that pain. So this is what happens to many women at this age. Late 40s, 50s, they get drier and then there can be some pain during sex. Okay. Okay, so I would recommend that she goes, say this again? Lubrication, then what's the best lubrication? Okay, all right, so listen, I think you're couple, you've been together a long time, you're not using condoms. I love pure PJUR, they make,

because it's have really good, like if she's she sensitive at all they make a great women's formula That's a water-based loop women's called women's nude and then we'll also put this in the show notes And then there's the pure silica nude like naked, but nude women's nude. It's PJ. You are Okay, and then there's also pure silicone loop. We love or I also like so yeah anything by pure I approve of I love uberlube uberlube is a beautiful like a glass bottle that you can just leave on your nightstand and it looks it's just silicone has one ingredient in it and it's last long time it lasts a lot longer than water base we have to keep reapplying it's a we we really love uberlube that's great for sex especially if she's finds that she's been really dry

you can also try for ya here's the other thing I would recommend. Dawson for ya makes a CBD like pre-loom that a lot, it's helped a lot of women with pain. You can rub it in, she can rub it in to her vulva vagina, about 20, 30 minutes before sex, and for women, for any any sexual activity and for some women it's help with pain. How you spell the first part for you? FORA. FORA.

You got it Dawson, it's on our website too. We can put it in the show notes at sexwithemily.com in the show notes. Just go there right now. We'll put it for you. Thanks Dawson. Awesome. Appreciate it. Of course, I'm here for you.

It's easy. I got you, but it does suck you guys. A lot of women are going through pain. 80% of women experience pain at some point in their life during sex, and they're just like, that's just another thing. My whole life is the pain. Or, you know, just cramping or sexism to be bad, but you don't have to live like that. Women, you can get, there's like bio-identical hormones for many women that works. There's things like pelvic floor physical therapist, if you've had pain at any age. Not just women going through menopause. For many women that works. There's things like pelvic floor physical therapist if you've had pain at any age. That's just women going through menopause. For many women

they have vaginismist or they just have other things that they just could be some trauma to the vagina. So you go in and you just work with a physical therapist like you would if you heard your back. Let's talk to Carol 55 in California because she wants to talk about breath breathing during sex hey carol thanks for calling hi i just want to say i'm fifty-five and i used to struggle to have one or gasm and ever since i started deep breathing

i can i usually have three or gasm each time yeah right it's amazing who knew that just breathing would help? Exactly. So, right, Carol, that's it. So, how did you learn that? Were you like, um, like, just taking more of you? Oh, for oh!

Oh, so nice. So nice. I was like, did you start doing yoga more often? Like, for some people, like, I thought, well, that's amazing. Carol, I'm so happy. Yes. Good right? That's it. You've been doing a bit of implants and she's calling right after Josephine. Josephine the breath works. Wow Carol that's amazing. Yeah right. Deep breath

is that what you did? Just deep breathe in breathe out and then you're like oh there comes. Yeah very deep breathing and I think I was just holding my breath and yeah, a lot of us do. That was amazing, I'm happy. Oh, yay, Carol. Thanks for calling, thanks for sharing that. I love it, thank you. See, it works.

You know, sometimes I'm like, oh, they want something more complicated. They wish to give you my special breath, exercise, breath recipe, to breathe. Your breath recipe comes with a list. Really? I really am talking, I breath recipe comes with a list. Really? I've been talking, I'm talking, it a breath. Like, because I think that they would want a whole fan seat.

It's going to be, I'll do this whole trick. Like just breathe. Really? That's actually that helps with stress and it helps before you go on stage to speaker before you go into that meeting or before you walk in the office or walk in the door at the end of the day. Like breathing is just super helpful. It does.

Let's talk to Christy 55 in California. Hey, Christy, thanks for calling. Hi, Emily. Hi. Hi. I had so many things to say to you tonight. I had to call back. OK.

I'm so glad. I wanted to tell you something, something funny about the sex toys. So I'm 55. I never had sex toys before until I met my husband seven years ago. And one of the first gifts he gave me was a couple of sex toys. And I was so upset with him. I said, how do you, you know, how do you give that to a girl? The first, you know, first present. And then he made, you know, he gave me roses and said, sorry. And it's funny because now we have like a whole kit under our bed

yeah that's usually what happens and i'm sorry he goes right he just was so excited he goes i just felt like we were going to be in this really like this relationship i could see it going somewhere and i don't know i got ahead of myself and you know blah blah blah and then i said you know no problem so since then we we we use them and it makes it so much more enjoyable.

All right. I love this right. You're just having that variety. I love that. Chrissy it's so true that a lot of us are first things. Oh, I don't need that or like men feel bad. Like oh she doesn't have an orgasm through my penis and there's a problem and it's probably you've never used them. You're like what does it say about me?

We automatically think it's in a front. But I always say that the model, mostly, but I've mentioned it to her, got a sex toy. They never like, why do you make pink at the sex toy? It usually ends up pretty good for both people or for everybody. I love it. Exactly. And I wanted to ask you a question. You mentioned the womanizer in that tango, we tango. Yeah. So we were in Vegas two weeks ago and we went to that one of those stores. We bought, we spent $400 and we bought those two items. So the womanizer, well, it's great.

Twice, I almost like wet the bed like it made me have to pee. And I always try to empty my bladder prior to, you know, having sucks from masturbating or whatever. What can you say about that? Well, it was probably was or female ejaculation. Yeah. So I believe that the really? Yeah. I mean, you're probably squirting as the kids say. Yeah,

squirting. I do know what to do that. Well, that's what you realize. So then I was afraid that I'm like holding back if I'm like, oh my god, I'm getting I'm feeling this. No, that's really common for many people to squirt with the womanizer. It's pretty cool because it's really tugging on, blowing on all those, sucking out those nerve endings.

Yeah, and sometimes it does feel like you're peeing, but you empty your bladder so you're not urinating. It's not that. There are traces of urine. People always want to ask me about that. Is it urine? Is it not? It's like, first of all, it doesn't really matter.

Can we get over it? Like, does it feel good? Did something come out of you? Put down a towel. Can we not talk about? Sure, you'll find traces, but I'm telling you that it's a different experience. The organ.

It's wording. Right. Yep, okay. Because what, yeah. Okay. And then the tango I bought that, that I think actually, I think the bullet, Doc Johnson's bullet is actually a little more powerful.. And then the tango I bought that, that I think actually, I think the bullet,

Doc Johnson's bullet is actually a little more powerful. Oh, then the tango, okay. My feedback. No, I love feedback. Doc Johnson's bullet, okay. All right. That one is really, that one is great. And then I accidentally threw out the power cord

that came with the tango genome, how I would go about getting another one of those. Oh, the tango of VVib. So I'm having to spend like $100. Oh, I wonder if you could call them. I mean, honestly, let me talk about how we can. How do you get the texture? Yeah, you could contact me to your customer service.

We're going to put the number in the show notes and you could tell them section that we sent you. See if they'll give you something for it. If not, call me back. OK. Is you recommended their product? I did. Yeah. But don't blame me. Tell me you love it, give you something for it. If not call me back. Okay. Is you recommended their product? I did. Yeah. But don't blame me. Tell me you love it, but you want the food.

I love their products. Everyone recommends their products. They're amazing. Okay. Kristi, thank you. Because, right, because maybe that was part of it, because the charger it was like losing its power. Yes, because I got to tell you for me that bullet, it's I bring it on every trip. It's in my bag. It's in my shower. I freaking love that bullet.

However, when it dies, it's I bring it on every trip, it's in my bag, it's in my shower, I bring in love that bullet. However, when it dies, it's like, that's how I know it's like not as strong. So that's how I know when it's hard to, cause it's still pretty strong, but it's not as strong. So I would just charge it and get that charger. And then let me know what you think. Cause to me, it's the craziest and most amazing bullet. So thanks, Christy. Thanks for calling, keep it posted. Let me know how it goes. Please rate us, review us, wherever you're listening to this show that totally helps us spot a fight, Google Play SoundCloud. iTunes, leave a comment there, we love that. And also, sign up for our newsletter on our website because you're going to love our

newsletter and we have some exciting announcements coming up. And thanks to my amazing team, Ken, Kristen, Alisa, Bryant, producer, Jamie, and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemlead.com.