Sex With Emily - Cowgirls, Take It Away: How to Rock On Top

Episode Date: March 4, 2017

Behind every “common” sex question, there are hundreds of other people who are looking for the exact same answer! In today’s podcast, Emily provides insight to help all the lovers out tackle some of those sex and relationship issues we’ve all dealt with… Is your rebound coming on stronger than your morning coffee? How do you up your confidence in the woman-on-top position? What’s the best way to keep the sex hot when you’re wearing a condom? Emily and Menace tackle these bedroom debacles, share sex toys recommendations for your first big G-spot orgasm, and even reveal the motivation behind those pesky unsolicited dick pics. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep this podcast FREE: Vibratex, Sportsheets, FT Toys, Adam & Eve and Promescent Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily on Today's show. I'm getting into your sex and relationship questions. How can you feel more confident during the woman on top position? What do you do when your rebound relationship is moving too fast? And is there a way to be putting on a condom hot? Plus the best sex toys to help your partner have a G-Spot orgasm. Who doesn't want that? Thanks for listening. spot orgasm and who doesn't want that? Thanks for listening.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubize they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard. Oh my!

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here so... Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between.

For more information, go to sexletle.com. You can see all the great things happening there. We have new content every day. We update it. Everything there, videos, content, podcasts. We do two a week. You can check it out. So you can have the best sex and really ships of your life, which is why we're here right, Matt. We want to help people. Yeah. You're just bang

out those podcasts two a week. Two a week. Wow. Yeah. I want to do five a week. Like we used to back in the day. I know. You wouldn't make it here though. I could try. I would try to quick nap on the couch. Yes. As much as possible. But I'm here. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try.

I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try.

I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. I would try. year, I have to say from the spider bait to the moving to them being sick for like, you know, I just, I don't know, things are, I mean, have been a little off, I think.

But now I'm feeling like, you're back in the group. I'm back in the freaking group. It was good. You missed the whole Valentine's Day, you know, busy as time of year. I feel like Santa Claus, you know, did ton of press things. And, you know, it was very active on Valentine's Day. I know. I try to book you for the Woody show.

I know. I was too busy for that. You're the only people I was going to get up at 6 a.m. for. Truly, or 7 a.m. or whatever you do. But thank you for still talking about me on the show. I appreciate that. And we talk about you all the time. My ego loves that. Yeah, it's great.

I'll tell you some more about that in a minute. So I haven't seen you in a month, right? So I'm also in the middle of moving and doing all this other stuff and work is just insane. It's going great. So happy for you. And but in between all that, I had a crazy surgery. So if anybody's been listening to the show for the past, I don't know what, 12 years now or whatever, that I get, so I get kidney stones in here and there. And then so this is the second time this has ever happened where the kidney stone is too large that I can't pass it through my body, right?

Right. So, I mean, we can, we can get into details, right? Yeah. Okay. Dude, yeah. People, I remember the last, this is gonna hurt, okay. So, sit down everyone. It's like the size of a marble

and it's stuck in my penis, right? So that is not good because you have to be able to, you know, urinate and so on. So you can't, the urinate. Yeah, so. So that's happening. And then the doctor like couldn't believe like I don't even know how You got this thing that's so large this far, right? He goes you have to have surgery immediately on my penis. So They're like well you have to go get X-rays done. So I go do that

So then they they they do the X-rays and the X-ray guys like, yep, I can see it because it is so large, right? There's just like, we wake up and you're like, oh, I heard I've cramps and then they're like, there's like, no, I can feel the, because if you had, you've had them for quite a while, the first time you ever have them, you have no idea what's going on and you feel like

you're gonna die. You're like, all right, my appendix has exploded and I'm dead or something. Something bad has happened. But once you learn what the pain feels like and stuff like that, you kind of just deal with them. Some people deal with it better than others. I deal with it very well.

Like I do entire radio shows in the morning and you can't even tell that I am going through extreme pain, I just like kind of fight it. You are a trooper. Thank you. You're like, I can't pee. There's a marble in my penis, but let's talk to them. I like to.

So then, so they do the x-rays and the doctor comes back and he's like, actually, you don't just have one, you have three large ones. So we got to get you into surgery immediately. So I go into the surgery center and then they have to knock me out. And there's like, you know, five people in the room. So imagine this, I'm knocked out, five people in the room, they have to go through the hole of your penis to go all the way up. My penis hurts right now. I'm like having five people in the room. They have to go through the hole of your penis

to go all the way up. My penis hurts right now. I'm like having like penis sympathy pain. I mean, at least I'm knocked out. I have no idea what they're doing. But then I have to go through like a week of recovery, right? So, but I'm so I'm so working still doing. Do they know that your penis was in surgery?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm talking about all the. Do they know that your penis was in surgery? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm talking about all the radio and all that kind of stuff. But here's another thing. They put a thing called a stint in my body. So it's like kind of like a rubber wire that goes, well, it's going through my kidneys towards my penis. So like what I'm walking around, I feel like sharp pains here and there, right?

But this is the effin worst part, Okay. So they're permanently right now. You have this wire. No. So this is the worst part. Okay. Okay. After a week, they're like, okay, we have to get this stint out of your body. Well, how, how do they get this out of your body? They go through your penis hole again. They vacuum out again. But this time they don't knock you out. his whole again. Day back you out again. But this time they don't knock you out.

Oh! So you walk in, you walk in to the office and the nurse goes, okay, well we're going to take you to the room. So just rub from the waist down, right? And then they, so you just rub from the waist down and then they put you up on like this table and then I had to get up in stirrups like I'm having a baby. Right, right.

Like we do with the gun call just every year. So then or baby. So then they put like a towel over my body. She's like, okay, well, I have to do the numbing, right? I can't. Okay. So I'm like laying down a fully awake and the nurse is like putting this like numbing gel on my penis. Yeah, okay.

My penis and like. It doesn't none that much, okay, Jesus. None that much, but then, so she's doing that, and then she has to go in the hole and inject it in the hole. Oh, right. I can't even handle the mattress. It's like we're like nauseous here, okay, not nauseous, but wincing and paying the-

You're not saying like what the fuck you're about to go through. So dude, like nauseous here. Okay, not nausea but whinsing and pay the same like So dude, okay, no, I'm listening. I'm like having a hard time. I'm like feeling okay Go so then they they do all that so then three other people come into the room The doctor right and then like two more assistants. So I'm here You know just spread out and he's like all, well, we got to get that thing out and they're taking like things that like needles that look like two feet long. And I mean, there's like, there's a there's a blanket like covering it. So I can't, you know, I can't see what's going on. But then they're like shoving the needles in. I could still feel a lot of what is going on. So then he asked to like go in there and like try to hook this thing and then like slowly like pulls it out.

Oh my god. It was the most painful and embarrassing thing. You're screaming. Was your girlfriend there at all? I know. I kept her out the room. Dude, that's so crazy and painful. Why don't they they knock you do they tell you this is what's gonna happen? It's gonna hurt. Oh, you go to a good place a good house. Yeah, I would have visited you and done a Facebook live like Dude, I'm a guy that like just don't tell me anything. Let's just do it. Yeah, that's true I could see you. Oh my god. I'm sorry. Yeah, so yeah, so that happened and then So whatever that happened I did not know this okay a month ago now we've Jesus god. I'm sorry. So yeah, so that happened and then So whatever that happened. I did not know this. Okay a month ago. Now we've Jesus honey. I'm sorry. Okay.

Yeah, and then just been in the middle of moving and So you guys having a lot of sex then probably the last few weeks. Just kidding. No You can't have sex for a while, right? Yeah, but no now about sex. Yeah, but wait back in Commission you are totally back because didn't this happen because you were like drinking too much iced tea or something? Yeah, but no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no It was an emergency. And then so they don't have, they don't have a specialist on hand at like midnight in San Francisco. And so they knocked me out for that one, but then this one, they actually cut my penis, like in a cross shape, right?

And then pulled out the rocks. This is creepy. So when I went to my doctor in Los Angeles, who is a specialist, when I, they did that first time, it took me six months to recover no sex nothing right What I went to my special is in Los Angeles he goes Yeah, I don't know why they did that. I'm like I think getting they all do things differently. I'm sorry guys always get a second opinion if you need surgery We do that was emergency then yeah, but you're right. You never know every doctor's are gonna make different decisions That's crazy dude. I can't believe it. I'm in so much pain. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm telling you if I looked like if I looked at your penis now it would look like it's normal. Okay, good I'm glad. I'm glad you're okay

In a good way like there's a like shit. I hope I get it. I hope I get a kidney stone so my penis looks swollen Anything for bigger penis and then What else was I gonna tell you oh so go going back to talking about you on the on the radio? So we were yeah, I'm mentioning all the time because anything that comes up like sex wise. Right. That's where you learned that. You learned everything about sex for sex. So it was funny. So today, so still, Woody showed by the way, if you guys don't know, it's on in Los Angeles on Altman 8.7 in the morning. And you can listen online. You can listen online. You just searched the one. He went here minus three hours a day. It's a it's a podcast. We don't talk about sex as much only when men is talks about.

Yeah. Okay. And then we're on in Missouri on all 1249 in St. Louis. So if you want to tune in. Anyways. So today we did a contest where we go, what's your weapon of choice? So we had two women call in and they gave it. They gave us three options of what sex way that they use So they they describe themselves and they go Then we had a guess like what sex toy is their favorite sex thing?

What weapon of choice and no weapon of choice means like what kind of vibrator to use that was one of your segments on the show today Yeah, yeah, oh my god. You guys are so progressive. Okay, so today Oh, dude, and they had to describe them and you're like, I know what that is that's the magic wand They're like yeah, so one of the contestants was the the It was one they had was it they had the hotachi magic wand, right and then they had the the beamy Right the beamy the beamy the beamy. Yeah, dude You all of it and I knew all of them. I know you're like the be me the Mimi the Mimi the me. Yeah, dude You all of this and I knew all of them. I'm like a pebble. You're like the me the matchup on yeah, and they're like Like men as how do you know like all the names and all the kind of stuff and that's crazy? It's funny because I was able to like get everything because I knew like

What level they were at you know like they go? Okay, is it the bullet or was it the rabbit or was this? And then one girl's like, oh yeah, I have like, I have like 12 sex toys. I'm like, oh, she has a rabbit. She's like not starting off with the bullet. Don't look at you. Where they like, look at you. You've met us. Everyone uses sex toy. You know, I hope you pick some stuff up here. So, but we definitely gave you a shout out. Thank you, honey. I appreciate it. I love it. All that kind of stuff. Well, because everyone was shocked. No, I'm glad you learned something. I don't know how it's helped your sex life. I really hope for my hope that you're having amazing sex because of that. But if you've just become a walking and you have

encyclopedic knowledge of sex toys, that's good too. Yeah. It's a good party trick. Yes. Okay, speaking of penises, I would like to move into sex and news here because your whole penis thing, I got to kind of recover from that. But that is the sex and news is about dick pics because that's all the rage right now. But there's actually been a study about why men send pictures of their junk to women according to science. Ooh, yeah.

The according to science. Everything goes back to like evolutionary psychology and why men do anything. Oh my god, are they gonna say caveman shit? Yeah, like you were afraid of getting, you know, hit by a rock in your house on the air. No, but here's the thing. 49% of women have received a dick pic

that they could have gone another day without seeing. No woman wants a dick pic. No woman is saying, God, right now I'm kind of bored at work. I could get a frappuccino or wait for a dick pick. Okay. So 49% is so many dick picks. Okay. So when so they've established though that like we've all established, I think guys know you're all listening to this. I feel like this is not a secret that we don't want dick picks.

Like unsolicited dick picks are not popular. Women are like, I've never met a woman. It's like, yeah, I love it. And I get if you're dating someone or you asked for it, I'm just saying an unsolicited random dick pic. You match with a guy online or you go out with them watching like, here's dick pic. And here's why. Men are simply misperceiving women's interest in receiving photos of their junk. So like, it says like they, they're just thinking like she's interested in me and she probably wants this. So there's a large body research that says they're not good men are not good at determining

how interested women are in sex like across the board. So reading body language is not the strongest quality of men. Obviously, that may lead to a misunderstanding about her interest in receiving spontaneous pictures of your crotch. So what guys tend to do is they confuse friendliness for blatant flirting. So he just thinks, oh, she's into me. She must, therefore, she must want to see a picture of epinus. And here's the evolutionary theory. It's called error management. It suggests many women have evolved specific cognitive biases that are likely to assist in successful reproduction.

So over perceiving a female stranger to interest in sex, whether it's in Tinder or in the real world, could be viewed as an adaptive from the perspective of this theory that men will pass up the potential reproductive opportunities. So you're just saying men are like, I don't know, she smiled at me. So she must like me and that goes back to evolution

or we're always looking at all the stuff about sex and evolution is typically about finding a mate Staying long enough like the reason why people stray a lot of times in relationships or why there's the the honeymoon phase is because After 18 months is like enough time to have a baby and men can spread their seat So all the stuff has to go back to to reproduction. So But it's not gonna work for women. So they're just saying I know it's a lot of information But it's gonna feel to get the woman's attention most of the time you guys. So I just will not send the dick pick, but it happens all the internet. Snapchat, I block you. If you see everyone. Out of my entire life

talking with women, I think I've only found one woman that I've talked to who enjoyed a dick pick. One pig, not like multiple. She enjoyed it and it was so weird because she said that the guy Was so large that she didn't believe it and then she actually hurt her friend and went like Went and stocked the guy And because it was that impressive don't get people if don't don't people like her and her friend went to this guy's neighborhood to like The like look around for him and see Like he was up to One of the data

Was real right she was so intrigued with the size of today. They happen no I didn't ask for update But I should because I feel like I've shared this story before where she actually went in like stock the guy after a dick pic. But believe me, that's like, that's a one in a million type thing. Yeah, no, that is. You guys, and see, this is what concerns me now guys, you're like, my mind's impressive. So now I'll say it, but, you know, no, just don't. Like, just, even no matter how big Smell doesn't matter, we don't, we typically don't

want to see it. But I think it's interesting talking about how men don't, you know, misperceive women's body language and their interest in sex, which we always talked about how men have a harder time reading, you know, reading cues. And I realized that like I used to, I was talking about this on the show last week too, that it's, I used to, I was a big flirt. Like I feel like I'm less of a flirt here. I don't know lately in the last few years, maybe, but I remember, I would get accused of being a flirt, but it was more than I'm less of a flirt here. I don't know lately in the last few years maybe but I remember

I would get accused of being a flirt but it was more than I'm friendly like I truly am like this friendly I love meeting new people I'm nice and I feel like I just I'm truly interested in meeting men women when I go out I get just excited to have a great conversation with a new friend or new new guy or girl But it was often misperceived by guys that I was interested and then the guys I was dating would get like jealous And so I think it's confusing for women so a lot of women don't show anything like they shut down and they don't They're not friendly or they're not they don't flirk as they're afraid that like men are just gonna want to bang them So it's all about evolution. Yes. Yes, exactly. Can I bring something else? Please you had other surgery. I feel so bad. It's any

Fours no no no so This is something I'm sure you've talked about the show. I talked about on the show. I'm not on every show. So I don't know what others have that you talk about. Um, but I was so intrigued by it. Is so I'm

friends with this band called a man, right? So they're, they're they're a band. They do a ton of major music festivals all over the place. And so they started video blogs and they do like interesting things. You can check them out. Okay. do a ton of major music festivals all over the place. And so they started video blogs and they do like interesting things.

You can check them out at youtube.com slash man Kim where they go to like the abandoned zoo and stuff like that. But on Valentine's Day, they did this video which was hilarious about the app field. Have you heard about it? No. Okay, so cool. You haven't talked about it.

So this app feels, I read about someone just sent me something about like a year No. Okay, so cool. You haven't talked about it. So this app feels... Hey, Rhett, but someone just sent me something about like, yeah, yesterday. Okay. Cool. So it's basically like a Tinder, but you're looking to add somebody in. So like three sums. Right. Right.

Three sums and more. Whatever, right? Orgis. Orgis. Yeah. It's Friday. And so they're like, let's get on this app and see like who's on there So they so they get on the app and there is a ton of people looking for three sums field. Yeah, okay It's a F E E L D. Uh-huh and

There were like finding people in their neighborhood. They're just like into it never knew you guys being to wait I always say it's your neighbors's probably having a threesome. Your neighbor's probably an open-roly ship, but you don't know it. So the crew that I work with on the Woody show, there's nine people now, right? Okay. And we have like five people behind the scenes

that help out with the show. And one of them's like, yeah, yeah, me and my partner were on field. I would bet, I would never think it's not just $1 million. Does he have a ponytail? No, no, no, no, no, it was a girl. Oh, oh, okay. Does her boyfriend have a ponytail?

Ministers, they do swingers and ponytails. Are people who look for themselves and ponytails? Why? But I think you buried that notion. Well, see, thing is, okay, so his a girl, her, her fiance is the military. So I don't know, he most likely does have plenty to because the military. Right, they made him cut it right. Right. We got there to train. Yeah, I don't know what it is, but I was so, see, it was so shocked on like, yeah, dude, I'm telling you, the whole thing

would be on that, on the app, should be the last one. She was like, yeah, I do it. I don't believe it. So, you know know I definitely a lot of people that listen to the show are probably they're interested I do some swiping apparently it's great okay okay cool no dude that's I think me yeah who knows is that you is that your way of telling me that you you've had a three-some-hour girl find on this out no did you be the last person it wouldn't happen but if it did you have to tell me. Oh, yeah, definitely.

I would. Which she, I think it's time you guys have been together or you just have a scround. This is not something I always do. It's like good time. Because so many shows and threesomes, but if you're just in a new relationship and you're trying to spice things up,

that's not the reason for threesome. But this is not a threesome show. I mean, maybe in the early days I could have, but probably not now. Right, you're too tired. I got you. Okay, so thank you for all that, menace. Okay, we going to take a quick break. We're going to come back. We're going to answer your emails. Yeah, thanks. Thank you everyone for supporting

our sponsors. We love them. I hope you do too. And thanks for listening. We will be right back. Okay, guys, thank you for emailing us and sending in your questions. I love that email set go to sexplumme.com, click on the Ask Emily tab, the form hit submit that's it. You can also select that you want to be called what we got. We got an email into our show about me on this show. What do they say?

And they said in the email like menace, I love you on the Woody show, but I don't like you on success. No way. Dude. How did you feel about that? I said, you know, I am yeah And they read it. Yeah, they read on air. They don't like you on sex. I'm like yeah, you're controversial Whatever everyone I'm controversial But I love you I don't know why I'm just saying yeah, I think that's interesting. Well, you know Don't give up your day job. No, you're awesome. And so people, I think that you have,

you're very opinionated about things and you can go on. And it's just like, you know, people that are like, really like all about sex all the time. Like they want to be open to everything. And which I don't knock and I support it. You, you can do whatever you want. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I you you can do whatever you want I Don't be bad at Anderson. He says anything about Look at him set. Yeah, but I'm just saying it's just not for me and you shouldn't be offended by that yet

Don't ever be if please don't be offended by man. My comment is not stopping you from doing No, he doesn't really count you guys He's just gonna have a fine having coffee. He came for the coffee and the friendship. Yes, a long time. You're awesome. Oh, wait, I didn't finish saying how you can email because you caught me off. Sorry. So sex on me.com ask Emily You want to click on the tab. You can also say you want to be called will be doing call shows Which I actually am really enjoying because I love your emails But with the calls we can just like get into your stuff in like three minutes. It's really fun It's been really helpful for a lot of people

You can also leave a voice mail eight when eight ask SWE1 and always leave your Your gender your age where you live and how you listen. Okay back to the email Emily I'm a 21 year old woman who hates being on top during sex I've never liked it aside from feeling like my guy is getting really awful angle view of my body I just don't feel like I do a good job really awful angle view of my body. I just don't feel like I do a good job. My man is a sweetheart and sticks to the positions we both like, but I know he wants to be on bottom sometimes.

I want to be able to do that for him and find pleasure in it myself. How can I get involved with this position and not feel so uncomfortable? Are there techniques I should try? I know I have to work on letting go of the idea that he's seen me from my poor angle and I'm trying what's the best way to be on top. I like I have to work on letting go the idea that he's seen me from my poor angle and I'm trying.

What's the best way to be on top? I like the idea of reverse cowgirl, but I feel like it's uncomfortable. Am I doing it wrong? UG Help. Vanessa H.21. Vanessa, this is a very good question and always a good question because I think a lot of women can relate to having that confidence in the bedroom. You know, so many of us have insecurities

about our body and our performance. So it kind of spoils down self-confidence because you think like you're not gonna be like flattering to your partner and that you might do the position correctly. And the thing is that, you know, it can be challenging when we're in our head, like, manages to probably worry now that there's like,

you know, marble coming out of his penis when he's having sex. I don't know what you worry about. No, no, there's no more. Even securities, no more. You've got them out. But I'm saying like, no, insecurities and stuff like that.

And yeah, there is, it's weird. I know like a lot of men probably prefer a woman on top, right? I think so. And, but there's women out there that are just not into it at all. And typically this is why, because I think that they feel like it's on a great position. They're not confident with their bodies,

because they know that that's like, here you go, here I am, and all my glory. And if you have any sort of body issues, which so many women and men do, it's gonna be like, nope, I'm not doing it. And therefore, since you haven't done it very often, you might be in a relationship where you're more comfortable now, and then you're like, but I don't know what I'm doing. it. And therefore, since you haven't done it very often, you might be in a relationship where you're more comfortable

now, and then you're like, but I don't know what I'm doing. So it's a common conundrum for women. I totally get it. So, and also guys, they want you to get on top, because yes, it looks really hot. I promise you that your boyfriend is attracted to all those things. And mostly what we worry about is not typically

what our partners are thinking about. You're in the bed with them. He's there. He's attracted to you. And I found this interesting stat that women consistently overestimate their body size as much as 25% and they vastly overestimate how, best overestimate how thin men want them to be. And women with a negative body image report much lower levels of sexual arousal than those of positive self judgments. I mean, this is not a new study. This is

not new information, but I'm just telling you that you can, that it's very common and just reading stats won't be enough. So don't worry, I'm gonna give you some practical tips here. But if you can just know that like all these things that we're worrying about our head, they're underperforming, I'm not doing it right, or typically like Justin, you're had your part.

We pretty much say this every other show and for the past 12 years. Guys, 99.9% of the shit, they don't give a shit. We pretty much say this every other show and for the past 12 years. Yes guys 99.9% of the shit No, and then with your penis size we don't care like how many sides of tell you we're so happy you're having sex with us Right guys are so simple. They're so stupid. That's why they out of one guys cheat They always get caught because they're that yeah guys. We're not cheating just much But they're not getting caught. they always get caught because of that. Yeah, guys, we haven't been are cheating just much, but they're not getting caught. I know, they don't get caught.

I had my get caught, so I know. Guys are dumb. Guys are dumb. Okay, so listen, we're all, we all have chain on this in these areas. We all have blind spots, okay? So here's the thing, sweetie, Vanessa, where's something?

First of all, you don't just remember this. You don't have to be naked during sex. In fact, sometimes like, it's, you wear like a sexy, like t-shirt t-shirt or something that makes you feel comfortable. I have all these cute little tank tops, or even if it's like a sweatshirt with your shoulders coming off, something like that or sexy underwear if you're not as comfortable. But that's just like my first do that or don't do that. See if that helps you.

But really, let me start with the sexual confidence part and I'll get into that helps you. But really, it's really about, let me start with the sexual confidence part and I'll get into positions for you. That sexual confidence is really, the more self confidence you have, like that will help you with your, the more sex confidence, sexual confidence you have, will help you with your self confidence. And the more pleasure that you will allow your body to feel,

the more you'll be able to relax and let go. So it's like baby steps here. I'm not saying that you're just going to hop on top and feel like, oh my god, it's amazing because Emily told me so. Just know that the more sex you have and the more you try this, you'll also feel more competent and also sexual competence, how could you be sexual confidence? So even if your mind starts to flow in us when you get on top and you're like, oh god, I'm having all these negative thoughts.

You can, in that moment, say, okay, I'm thinking this thought not so pleasant, put the focus back on doing something. So it could be pleasing your partner. It could be focusing on the fact that you're on top of him and the pleasure that you're feeling. You know, just, it's a, it's a really a mind, really. Now that you've even said to me that you know that you do this, it's probably the thoughts once you notice the thoughts you redirect them. So really, it's just, like I said, it's like a negative, now that you've even said to me that you know that you do this, it's probably the thoughts, once you notice the thoughts, you redirect them.

So really, it's just, like I said, it's like a negative feedback loop, the more that you think about it, the more destructible it will be, but the more you just do it and practice you'll feel better. Now, here's some things, once you get through some of this stuff, or even just, it's all going to work together. So here's how you do woman on top, okay? This is super, super basic. The reason why women on top is great, not only because you look amazing and you're part

of think it's super sexy, is because you can control the motion, the depth, the penetration, like you can like your clitoris typically needs more stimulation. You can rub it, he can rub it, you can use a toy. So he's lying on his back on the bed and then you get on top and you put your knees on either side of him and you like straddle him and then you slowly lower yourself down onto his erect penis. If it's not erect yet, put it in your hand, give him a blowjob first. But that moment, this is something too.

Like that moment when you get to like lower down onto a man's penis when I was like thinking about this, I was like, that's freaking hot. So don't speed through that part. Don't you think you just kind of get into like the fast sex? I always say to slow down and I always say it about four play, but I think even that moment when you're like For the first time if it's been a while or whatever it goes in it feels awesome So so the key is to go slow that feels good also here's the positions

So if you're straddling him you can move up and down to build momentum or for a lot of women It just feels really good to like rub your chest like your whole torso on his body and grind from side to side or in circles And that way you might feel like a little less self-confident because you're not like up on you're not like you know like rub your chest, like your whole torso on his body and grind from side to side or in circles. And that way you might feel like a little less self-confident because you're not like up on, you're not like, you know, your breasts aren't all exposed, your body's not exposed. And that can feel really good.

Like women don't you feel like women you've been with or like have their chest on top of you or they're moving back and forth? Yeah. Or they're on top of the mattress, and you can go up and down. But that's just like porn. I mean, I think that feels good. But that's I love it.

They love that. But I feel like typically for most women, it's the back and forth. The around ocean feels the best. To it again, guys, love anything. And then also last longer in this position. Yes. He can pay with your breasts. You don't have to do all the work.

Here's the other thing. He can grab your hands, help you dry your back and forth. That was a good woman on top 101. Do you got this Vanessa? So really I think that it's gonna be intuitive once you get on top, but the more you can think about these thoughts, sexy thoughts, practice it. He's gonna be psyched.

The more you do it, I'm telling you, it is okay if it doesn't feel great the first time, like any new sex visions, you're gonna get into this and you're gonna get through this because we all do. We all get through these insecurities. Okay. Another email here, hey Emily, I love your podcast.

My question is I'm recently divorced and it wasn't a nice break. I started dating when I'm having some issues. The woman I'm seeing told me she loves me during sex. Oh, okay. So during sex she did the whole, I love you during sex and now I said it back in the heat of the moment. She now texts me constantly and I'm a single dad. I have my boys in the weekends. I work three jobs this during the week for total of 70 plus hours. She texts me all the time. Check this minus 46 times in an hour. Like that's bordering on stalking. Not that healthy. I can't

do that. No. He's afraid. I'm afraid I Not that healthy. I can do that. No. I'm afraid I let her on. I like spending time with her when I can, but it's now to the point of annoying me. So I don't want to spend time. I've known her for years, don't want to hurt her, but I don't know what to do. Any advice would be amazing. Thank you, Eric, age 45.

Okay, when I read the 46 times in an hour, like, I was done. I'm like, okay, that's a little obsessive. That is, that's a little bit, like, I'm worried about her. That's very obsessive. 46 times. And I don't think he's exaggerating. This is like, you need to like slowly back out of this one. Like, two in an order.

I don't even double text, ever. So you just gotta be straight. And I'm a little afraid for no well being. And sometimes it takes me like four days to get back to her. Right, dude, I know that. I always say we gotta help. I could have, if I have 40 in a day, I would throw my phone in the ocean.

Like only you know, text 46 times if there's like an emergency. Like you got into Cardix and you're dying, something's happening, okay? Your house, then fire. That's borderline. I have a problem with this. You gotta be straight with her. You just gotta say that your priority right now

is on your family, it's on your work, you're with the boys, it seems that you really wanna maintain like your friendship, your glad she's in your life, but this just isn't working for you right now. And then you gotta cut ties. Yeah. And I know she's gonna be upset and you've been friends for a long time

and that's why you guys, people always say, should I sleep with a friend? A lot of times it works, a lot of times it doesn't, but upset and you've been friends for a long time And that's why you guys people always say should I sleep with a friend? A lot of times it works a lot of times doesn't but hopefully since you've been friends long enough Eric She can take your your honesty not to honest. You don't need to bring up the texting you guys I think that sometimes you don't have to confront everything, but clearly this is delicate She's really into you and I just say you got to back out gracefully or you can just change your number I know that's why you got it to say you know what and it's not you really to back out gracefully. Orick and this change your number. It goes. Well, I know. That's why you got to just say, you know what?

And it's not, you really don't have time right now. Some guys, who knows, might have been get off on it. Or at least she knows where you live. It can't go. I just think that maybe if she, in some women, like they can't handle that, getting what a guy doesn't get back to them. But usually if that happens,

I'll text my friends and be like, why is it getting back to me? Why is it getting back to me? You're not gonna say her phone's broken. Okay, that's just 46 times. Okay, hi Emily. I just discovered your show. I absolutely love it as improved my daily commute

and sex life. Hopefully you can help me out a bit. I just started seeing a guy, and he has trouble keeping it up with a condom on. I'm pretty strict about condoms. Thurt, my only source of birth control. My question is, how do I help my guy keep it up with a condom? He says they make it so we can barely feel anything any suggestions

Might I would be much appreciated love Christine 23 Washington DC Have you had this problem? No, I always do this. I always think guys are full of shit when they say no They're not I mean, they say that I can't feel any it no no honey every penis is different like snowflakes just like the women's They say that they can't feel any. No, no, no, honey, every penis is different. Like snowflakes, just like the women's. It is true that for a lot of guys, they're like wearing them on condoms or they had one bad experience.

So in their brain, they're thinking, you can't feel it, I can't feel it. Like so much of sex is like a logical, you guys. So much of life is like a logical. It's the thoughts in our head prevent us from, we are holding ourselves back from so many things. I think if he doesn't say, okay, if he's able to stay erect

with the condom on and no issues, then I think he's full of it. But if he is not able to do that, then maybe yeah, maybe he's not lying. He's probably not lying. He really can't. Who knows why, but there could also be these wearing the wrong size.

Maybe he doesn't like the latex condoms. Typically, women have latex allergies, but men can as well. And there's so many condoms on the market. And guys, I think they're just like boiled to some brands and they're just like, this is just every condom is the same. You know, like every, what is everything the same anymore? Like it doesn't matter what kind of toilet paper I buy.

Like it doesn't matter. It'll condoms actually matter. So I'd steer away from latex. I always recommend skin condoms, SKY and they have them in every drug store, every brick and mortar. I think you could buy them on our website in the store. It's the best. Their whole toe, I was like, togan tagline slogan, closest thing to wear, nothing.

It truly is. It's non again, non latex, it's polyisoprene. They feel really, really good. Every person I've ever recommended to is like, thanks me. It could also be the size. It could be wearing too tight of condoms, so you could get a variety pack. I think they're also on our website. Lifestyles makes them as well. Lifestyle condoms are great.

Skin is a part of lifestyles, but they sell these packs that are like elite, studded, large, original, and he could buy a variety pack. So try four different kinds and see what works. Just make sure it's like also like you can put a loob in the tip of the condom, which enhances the sensation for him.

I always recommend a few drops of loob in the tip of the condom, which enhances the sensation for him. I always recommend a few drops of lube in the tip of the condom before he puts it on. So these are all things you could do, water-based lube tip of condom, try new freaking condoms. Then if you can't get hard, then if you can't stay hard, we can talk about other things.

But you guys, this whole condom thing, try it, like toys. I wouldn't just buy one toy and be done. It's kind of similar in a way, like condoms, you're so loyal loyal so loyal. Maybe it's not The womanizer you did yeah Yeah, because they're going through all the sex toys and this girl's like I got all these blah blah I'm like do you have the womanizer? Did she like I was acting like I knew what I was talking about. And she's like, no, but I heard about it.

I was like, oh, I, I, Tell him to go to my website next time you say, buy it on my, you guys know you can buy all the stuff on my website. Yeah, and I was like, well, you need to get on it. That's the hot thing right now. It is. No, the womanizer, I mean, it's so funny,

because again, in the 12 years we've been doing this, someday we'll be like in the 30 years. Soon like your car will come with a toy, a sex toy, like it'll be crazy. But the womanizer truly in the 12 years is one of the most unique toys that is just not going to make everyone still talk about it because it's so unique. Like it's that pleasure or technology that you indirectly, it's like giving little butterfly kisses to your clitoris, which is what I think many women want that lighter touch. It's like similites oral sex. And it's the woman at orgasm.

If you haven't heard me talk about it a while. So do you want one for your girlfriend? A womanizer? Yeah, like I feel like you don't pick, I just want her to come here. And like, will she come one day? Just take it to her. I just don't get it.

How could she not like orgasms? Oh, well, you claim that she could never have more. I'm assuming that maybe you're busy and you're tired sometimes and she might, or you could do it together just to mix it up because toys do not take away from your relationship they enhance it. Why are you judging me?

I'm the little, no judging. I want your boyfriend who I don't know to experience pleasure. I just wanted to experience pleasure. You're just a pusher. I am a pusher. You're a pusher too. On the show, I just feel like you got to put your money where your mouth is now.

Okay, so yeah, that was enough of that answer. Condoms do that. We got time to know that email here. G-Spot, more toys. Let's see if men can answer this one. All right, okay. Emily, my wife and I have an amazing marriage and sex life. Your show has helped in many ways. We've enjoyed G-spot simulation for some time now, but it has always been me

using my fingers on her. This is fantastic and always intense for both of us, but I want to purchase her toy so she can pleasure herself. She's very, she's very petite hands as been unable to achieve a G-spot orgasm by yourself. There are so many options for toys, both dildos and vibrators. It's hard to know where to start. I'm interested in the Enjoy Pure One was hoping you had an opinion on this product. Your feedback would be greatly appreciated

by an age 42. Thanks, Brian, for your question. A great, great question here because let's talk about the G-Spot, okay? Typically for women who have not found their G-Spot, it does help fingers are a great way to find it. And for a lot of women, their fingers just don't do it. So, I often suggest your partner can do it.

So, you guys have been doing that. I'm glad you found it. I'm glad she has intense orgasms. And I also get like, wow, again, toys, it'll be a totally, it'll still be G-Spot orgasm, but a different sensation. So, the enjoy pure wind. I, God, this was one of the first,

and probably only dildos I got that I really, really loved. I don't really talk about it that much because I'm such a vibe girl, but when I started thinking about talking about it, I actually got kind of excited because it's 1.5 pounds of stainless steel. It's like you could club someone over the head with it, okay? It's a very luxurious trip, you wouldn't though. but like it looks like a weapon, but it doesn't,

like it's also beautiful luxurious. It looks like it's like a curve shape and it's too bulbous ends on it. And it's, I mean, it's strong. It's heavy. And it's the larger end is for G-spot simulation, the smallest for prostate, although it could easily satisfy either. It's eight inches long. And the thing is you don't have to insert very much to simulate it. It's eight inches long. And the thing is, you don't have to insert very much to stimulate it. It's like, you could very easily with your hand. It's so easy in like the weight and the feel of the steel, the stainless steel, like it's solid metal. It just feels really good and the pressure. It can be, since it weighs so much, it's like pounds of steel. It feels, you're not pounding away, but you don't need that much.

Like once you target it, you just like hit up against it with these gentle movement. It's the coolest thing. It's like steering a ship or something. Like it's just, it doesn't, I can't explain. It's like it's so for many women, a depped way to find your juice pot. Now, it can be also a little bit advanced for people. And so that's why some women want the vibe. Like there's no vibration.

That's just like a dildo. No vibe. Um, I like the rave by Wevi. We did a review show on it. Um, it's just a great. It's I love the way it shaped. I love other vibration patterns. You can also use it with a smartphone. You can control it.

Bluetooth. Bluetooth because we talked about it too. The Wevi. You talked about the Wevi. I've synced probably and now the couples toy. Yes, dude. You don't even needvibe sink probably. And now the couples toy. Yes. Dude, you don't even need any money. What do you use it so low?

You can use it so low. As a hand job. Yeah. Yeah. But this is the Wevibe, the rave by Wevibe. There's also the Fun Toys Gvibe, which splits like this. It splits into directions. This is a great toy.

It's kind of like a three-fer because it's, you can do the G-spot. You can do the entrance of the vagina. You can also use it on the men's prostate. It's just a really cool toy. It's kind of like a three-fer because it's, you can do the G-spot, you can do the enter to the vagina, you can also use it on your, on the men's prostate. It's just a really cool toy. It's also on our website. These are all great G-spoi toys. The Rave, the Fun Toys, or I would say yes, get the enjoy. You guys know where her G-spot is. I think you'd like it.

It's a really cool toy. You can also make it hot or cold. Put it in the freezer. You can boil it. It feels really good. That's what I want to say. I'll give you one of those two minutes. Load it up.

Load it up, baby. Yeah. I have a big trunk today. I have the Toyota Mariah, which is a hydrogen powered car. Oh, really? Yeah, it's crazy. What do you do? How do you? Wow.

There's hydrogen stations around California and other parts of the country. You never have to gas. You just pull out hydrogen. Well, if you buy one of them, they give you three years of fuel. Really? That's really cool. I just give you a credit card. I hate getting gas.

I run out of gas like more than the average person. Like more than teenagers. Oh, well. This wouldn't be good for you then because you have to actually go find the station. No, I do. You can't just pull up anywhere. I want to get that in my brain that like when it says you have one or two miles left, or when it says low fuel, most people get gas.

But I'm like, oh, I've got 30 miles. Yeah. But I typically make my kids three minutes. So I really don't need gas that often. And I always think I can go, I can go, I can go. Yeah. And then I sometimes I get gas. And you should do a half electric half hybrid.

I just, yeah, that's true. I just got a car that I smashed. Okay, I think it's all right. I know, because this stupid gate that you don't pull into, we've all crashed our car in it Have I talked about this ever? It's very interesting, but there's a goddamn gate coming in there's you to park in the right next door But we've got this little narrow lot and There's a gate that came out too far and all of us. I'm telling you there's probably been three thousand dollars collective of car damage

Because if you pull in too quickly, you don't pay attention So is the gates used to swing open my landlord study, fixed it, not sure if we did, you crash your car. We've all done it. Yeah. So that's fun. Okay, that's how we got time for. I'm happy to see you.

Oh, well, well, well, well, I'm sorry. I would say your penis flowers. Yeah. But I thank you to all the listeners to, you know, I get, I'll be random places and people tell me they listen to such the only, so that's great. And I love you. I love you all for listening.

Thank you, followers on Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, all that stuff, at Exzellent, Facebook. Oh, you've been posting any hot picks on Instagram when we literally do it every day. And Facebook.com slash.com I'm at least subscribed to our newsletter. And you know, a lot of people say they're listening, my friend was listening,

he's like, oh, I was in Spotify and I was looking at podcasts and you came up. So you guys realize that you could find a sense of Spotify, SoundCloud, Google Play. It's not just iTunes anymore. It's awesome. Did you find any hot pictures? Yeah. Well, there's some cute ones. You're not really showing off any skin, which, you know, that's what really.

Okay. I'm putting a naked picture up today. So check out my Instagram. Okay. Thanks everyone for listening. Thank you. Well, there's one you're showing off I'm putting a naked picture up today. So check out my Instagram. Okay, thanks everyone for listening. Thank you. Well, there's one you're showing off your stomach. Guys will like that.

Okay, so look at my stomach. I do like that. Instagram.com slash the Woody show. Oh, sorry. It's last section. Sorry, that's what I say every day. There's Woody's on there. Instagram.com slash sex Emily.

Who is the good, right, you do the slash with the Instagram, don't be able to stop. Well, see, like some people are not in the computer. They're not on Instagram, but they still want to see the photo. No, I get it. They can visit it like a wedding. You got it. That's really smart.

Thank you, men. It's God learned so much for me today. Okay, everyone. Thanks for listening. Thank you to my whole team. I love you. And was it good for you? Email me.

Feedback at sexwithmly.com. you