Sex With Emily - Dating Cons & Marriage Pros with Michael Yo

Episode Date: August 7, 2019

On today’s show, Emily is joined by comedian Michael Yo & they’re talking about the difference between dating life & married life — specifically the relationships and the sex — and Emily is taking your calls & emails.  She gives advice on what to do when your partner brushes you off during a threesome, how to interpret the phrase “I don’t like labels” in the dating world, & the next steps to take when a hookup you’ve wanted for years didn’t quite meet up to your sexpectations. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: In Control Intensity, Muse, ThirdLove, SiriusXM, Womanizer.  Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemily For even more sex talk, tips, & tricks visit sexwithemily.com For more information on Michael Yo, click HERE.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When I was on your show, you had just got your first prostate exam. And then I brought you a toy for your prostate thinking you might have liked it. No, and I didn't like it. I didn't like it. You produced her, I didn't. It was very, my doctor was very aggressive. No, you could also play with a toy that your wife is not controlling, that you could on your own during a little masturbation.

Never thought about that. Okay, got it. No, never. Michael, the ride, the sex road is long. When you're married or you're in a solid relationship, your job as a man is to always make sure they know they're special and they're the only one for you. That's all our job is.

And to listen. What do you need from her, your wife? I just need her support, her love, her confidence industry is crazy. It goes up and down, and she's my backbone, she's my rock. She really is. And that's all I need.

And that's all I need. And that's all I need. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm joined by comedian Michaelio, and we're talking about the differences of dating life and married life, from relationship to the sex, and we're also answering your calls.

Topics include, the differences of dating to date and dating to actually get married. Guess what? They're not actually the same. And a threesome mishap, you had only with your partner, but it seems he's more into the third then into you. What do you do if you're dating someone and they don't like labels and you're not exactly sure what to think about that? So you finally helped out with someone you've been pining for over the years. The kiss was great, but the rest not so much Now what do you do all this and more? Thanks for listening Look into his eyes They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that block our secret institutions

Betrubized they call them in a bag on day. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, though? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I want to feel a sound.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Evelyn is not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, check out sexwithemely.com. You're gonna love our site. Haven't been there.

You released three podcasts a week. Wherever you listen podcasts, they're available and subscribe to those, because we love when you subscribe. and you can also find me on Serious XM radio. I'm there Monday through Fridays, 5 to 7 PM Pacific and it's on its channel stars 109 and you can get a free 30 day trial at sex with Emily dot com slash S XM and you can also call us if you've any questions during that time, triplet 9478277, you can also find me and all social media across the board. It's act sex with Emily. All right, guys, I hope you enjoy the show.

I'm so excited. I am too. Michael, yo. Uh huh. Michael, yo is here. And you must know Michael, yo, Michael, yo.com, at Michael, yo, on all the social media. And he's got a new comedy special, Blasian.

Blasian is called Blasian. It's about me growing up in Houston, Texas. It's about family. It's about love. No politics. Okay. That's good. No politics at all.

It's just about... Explain Blasian because not everyone knows what pegging is. Not everyone knows what blasian means. Why? Why walked into pegging? He walked into pegging just now. No, I didn't get pegged when I walked in. No, no, no, no.

Not, no, no, no. There seems to be a pegging theme around you because when I walked in. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, some of my friends go, oh my God, it hurt, but then it felt good. There was no feeling good. So when I heard you last call her, it was like, there's no way I want a woman to dominate me and trust me like that. You're strong, like in your masculine.

I got it, not yet. No, no, no, no, no. Life is long. Do you understand? Not ever. I was just saying, Michael. Michael, the road, the sex road is long. Life is long. You've got a relationship. I mean people I will not get thrust. Okay fine

You could also play with a toy that your wife is not controlling that you could on your own during a little masturbation never thought about that Okay, got it. No, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no not. Just with you because, for whatever reason, I came on your show and then it was fagging and then this was just packing. So back to what people don't understand. Yes. Blasian. OK, it's black and Asian. That's me.

I'm black and Asian. You are. And you do it well. I do. I do. What makes anybody that's mixed does it well. Because we're just unique looking. And I remember growing up, I was the

guy that white girls wanted to hook up with because I was black, but I wasn't really black. So they could experience, I'm like a starter black, you know, like a star, like I kind of did black. I have to. I accepted the black guy. 50% of black. I'm the black ish. I hooked up with it and I was like acceptable to the parents. They were like, I don't know what he is. So I guess it's fine I swear Will you into so tell me about you you said that you were late bloomer. Oh, yeah, I didn't have sex to I was like 18 and probably My end of my freshman year in college in college. I had my first kiss at eighth grade

Okay, and then what happened and then I wasn't popular I was just very athletic But wasn't like the you know how everybody has clicks totally. I wasn't like in the cool I was just not a popular guy. I was very athletic. I was popular through athletics But I wasn't a popular guy Does that make sense? Yeah, so what happened when you where'd you go to college? University of Arkansas. Okay, Arkansas razorbacks. Yeah, I play football for the raise backs for like a year and a half. Wow.

Okay, so you get there and you hang football. And then did you feel like I hear a lot of guys say they go into the freshman year and then they're like, okay, I feel more. I did because over in Arkansas, just like I was different. They didn't have a lot of me's. They didn't have a lot of me's. Not a lot of me's did.

Not a lot of me's. So I was in high demand. I was like, wow, what is this looking guy that's black, but not really black in Asian, but not really Asian. So I was very popular in school. Yeah, I'll bet I'm popular now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm married now, so it's different. How is the marriage going?

I love it. I know you're the most in love person. I know. Let me tell you for anyone struggling. It's about're like the most in love to person. I know let me tell you for anyone struggling Like it's about the right person meeting the right person like I can't wait to go home I can't wait to see my wife. I can't wait to see my kid I I dream like when I'm a way it hurts my heart look at all the women in here It's really does it really does, but I believe that there's two things going on with me

I dated to date and then I dated to Mary. And that's completely different. Wait, can we talk about that? Sure. So, dating to date is more like, I'm just gonna go out and I'm gonna meet. Dating to date is, I work for E entertainment at the time when I first moved to Los Angeles.

And I would get home about six o'clock. And I was like, I'm bored. I don't wanna be home alone and feel bad about myself. I'm just call somebody to go out with that. I don't really care about. Now, when you date to get married, it's on our first date. I would go out with girls on the first date and go, like, if you're not looking to get married

within the next couple of years and have kids, this is, we can have a nice dinner or lunch, but I'm not in for that. Like, well, this is more, I think, more menny and womenny to do this. So tell me when, when did you know you were ready to start having that different kind of date? I had a dream that I was at my own funeral

and it was just past women I hooked up with. At my funeral, it's almost like I was watching my funeral and I woke up and I said, if I die today, that's my legacy. Now, I don't know if you believe in God or whatever, but that was assigned to me that, okay, it's time to grow up, it's time to be a man. And after that dream, it took three years

to find the right one, but I changed my dating habits. I didn't just date to date, I dated to be married. And it really hit me hard because my parents are still married after 46 years. My wife's parents are married for 36 years. So it's this thing where I believe in family, I believe in legacy, and I had to have that dream. So that must have been going on through my head too.

Wow. I had a dream of my own funeral and it's just random shit. That's so powerful. And that one dream made you, but you're like, I don't want to put your randos in my funeral. No. I want this one. I want to lock it down with the wife.

OK, so then tell me Michael yo so then Michael yo is the new Michael yo after the dream and how old are you at this point when you I am probably 36 Okay, and how old do you know I'm 44. Oh, 44. Okay. Got it. So I'm black and Asian. I never get old I know I'm so unfair right so you're 36. I mean it's amazing and then you're like okay, okay And then what happens so how is it different? I go on the first date first date I wouldn't go on a second date if I didn't think she could be a wife material. Okay. What is way how did you know? Well, I think about family. I think about first of all do we laugh? Do we have fun the first dinner does a conversation just keep going are they a type of person in my mind that if

Drake walked in they wouldn't be like, bye Michael, I'm gonna hang out with Drake. I didn't want a person, a ladder climber, I guess they call it. Yeah, so climber, yeah. And a social climber. Also, which would be a good mother. And you could tell when you talk to someone, just if they're passionate about,

I don't know, I just have a good radar on that. And I knew after three dates with my wife now that she was the one. Because of everything she told me about, I learned about her background. She knew about my background. She knew how important family was. And you know, I don't know, it's just I had a good radar on.

I love it. So during your, how long, you said it took you three years during your efficient daily phase. Yes. Now we got married. Once I met her, we got married within two years and had a baby. We've been married three years and our son is two.

Wow. So yeah, and you know, you're efficient. Well, exactly. Michael, you'll get should done because you have to because on the first day, we say we're going to get married in a couple of years and we're going to have a kid. And that's exactly what I think if you don't have a plan, it's kind of like, hey, I like you, you like me, let's get married and see if it works out. Right.

No bigger of the stuff out before you get married. And I tell you, I think what happened is, you know, she made me go to, I guess it's called before you get married, you go to this boot camp where it was a church boot camp where for eight weeks we had to turn in reports and they interviewed us about ourselves and they asked us questions so we would be on the same page wedding guidance or like I love it so they asked us a lot of churches provide the service and Gary Chapman who are the love languages did these kind of boot camp things and they ask ask you every single question. So your partner knows where you stand. So it was like, if you have a kid,

and Michael, if you have a kid, and Michael has a travel a lot, are you okay with that? Are you prepared for him being on weeks at a time because of his job? And you have to be aware this could have. And she was like, absolutely, I know what I'm signing up for.

Where a lot of people don't have that discussion. You know, you need to talk about everything. So were there any surprises during those discussions? You had with your wife like it, doing the, I love marriage boot camp. I found that she lowered her standards for me. And this is true, this is true. Her mom, she was having bad luck in dating.

And then her mom said, well, maybe you just need to lower your standards a little bit. A week later She met me and then she goes because she said before she would never date me because I was on television She didn't want to go through all the Hollywood hype. She dated in Hollywood and she didn't want a person in the industry Yeah, by law it changed I wouldn't say lord changing her That's your funny Michael. Yeah, I'm Lord changing her standards. That's your funny micro-exway of saying that. Changing her standards, we met and by changing her standards,

it's great. But you are a Hollywood guy who... I am, but I think it's always when you're married or you're in a solid relationship, your job as a man is to always make sure they know they're special and they're the only one for you. That's all our job is and to listen It like I think you're right. I mean, I think that that's not all But that is so key to make allow your partner to feel safe by letting somebody the word through the words and through your actions

Well, because it's a thing where I have friends that have been married and then they give divorce and I hear the same thing I don't think he loved me because it's a thing where I have friends that have been married and then they get divorced and I hear the same thing. I don't think he loved me. You know, because if you're in this industry, you're around beautiful people all the time. You know, so it's my job to make my wife know that she's the queen, she's the best. I never could get better.

I don't want to better, you know, and we have an amazing family and I put 100% into that. I take every any time I do stand wanna better, you know, and we have an amazing family. And I put 100% into that. I take every, anytime I do stand up comedy, I take the first flight out. And the morning, the next day, no matter how late, I had to stay up doing a show, because I wanna be back to show her,

the first thing is, oh my mind, it's coming back home. But I learned that from my dad. Like, that's where I, that's how I came from. You know, that's the world I see. Right, now you learn that from your dad. Now, are you, I'm, is this something that she said was important to her as well? No.

Okay. No, I don't even, like she tells me, you don't have to do that. You can come and lay it. You can say the one, Michael, maybe, okay, so what I'm hearing from you, you're not asking for therapy, but what I'm hearing, but I can't help.

I'm hearing that you're, that this is, which is amazing, like women were, I can feel, Kristen's swimming over here. I can feel your swoon in my heart. That this regimented way of being that worked for your parents, maybe there could be a little bit of chilling where your wife was like, actually,

I don't want you to be tired. And maybe you should take a later flight because you're cranky when you get home. And I know you love me, dude. It's been a few years now. I trust you. So maybe if you wanted to stay and check out that thing in the town you ran, check out the sites, I'm okay with it. That there's a rigid standard that maybe there's other ways she needs you

to sacrifice. And it's not in this way of showing up that she'll risk from your father. Maybe I agree until you don't do it. Well, ask her as well. No, no, no, no, we don't do it without asking. No, no, no, no, we talk all the time about it, but my thing is, why not take the first flight? Okay, no, and that feels me too. You want to be the, you want to see your kid, you too. And I want to see my kid, my kid, son.

I know, adorable life, children. And when you're very confident in your relationship, you can be like, oh yeah, go do whatever. But then you realize, oh, I need that security again. So he needs to turn it off. Rather, I don't want to turn it off. It just stays on. What do you need from her, your wife?

I just need her support, her love, her confidence. This industry is crazy. It goes up and down. And she's my backbone. She's my rock. She really is. And that's all I need. That's all I need is in her to be a great mother.

Like when I go home, I love, like, you know, people make fun of it, but I love knowing what's gonna happen when I go home. You know, I love a routine. I love a routine. I'm a very routine person. Got it. And not that, like, and she's the one that makes it great.

Like, I'm excited about the routine, you know, where I have a routine of working out and I hate it. But I know I have to do it. With this, I'm excited to go home. I'm excited to see my kid. So every night you get home, what happens? As soon as I walk in my kid runs up to me and goes, Dad, Dad, Dad runs and gives me a big hug.

My wife gives me a kiss. We have dinner and then the next thing is we hang out with our son for like, probably like an hour, hour and a half. Then she gets them ready for the bed and she puts them down by like 8.30 and then it's our time. And then what do you guys do with your time? Well, we, What's the perfect date?

What's the perfect night? We'll watch some television. Mm-hmm. If I'm lucky, you know, we'll take it to the bedroom. If not, but it's so comfortable that if it doesn't have, it's fine too. I'm not, I'm not a numbers woman. Yeah.

I'm not gonna be like, it has to happen every night. No, no. Sometimes it happens and feels good to both of you. I think last time I saw you, I gave you some, type of you toys, Lou, what I give you? You gave us a little. Not the prostate toy, but something else. I gave you a vibrator.

Yes. You gave us that, it's great. Yeah. She likes it. Who doesn't like that? Some people, I listen. Have you ever met a woman that didn't like a vibrator? Mm-hmm.

I thought maybe most are happy with what I gave, but what did I give you? I don't remember. The little, yeah, the little egg, the little one. Like the touch, it was purple, no? I don't know, we have some, oh, the blue was a family with some diamonds and pave mine diamond Pave mine from um um um um Calexotics. Okay. Yeah, she liked it. It's fun right?

You know what? Something different. Oh no, it wasn't that one. It was a different box. You got a closet full of vibrates. Are you looking where you've seen it? You've been in there. No, did I not break did I just carry them to you? Yeah, you brought you put them in a bag Oh, well look at my toys. I was just now that I know you better. I think I could send you home with more things Oh, please do whatever you want. These are my new favorite thing. I give you Yes, oh the wish. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay cool. I'm glad that's going well with you. Mm-hmm So I feel like The toys are good. These are good too. We're gonna give you so I give you Lou's going well with you. So I feel like the toys are good, these are good too.

I give you Loub. Yes, you did. How'd you feel about that? I didn't, we're gonna use that. Right, okay, got it. We're already Loub. What does, you know what, I got a question. What does Loub actually do?

Like if you're already both kind of like... Lubricated. So here's the thing, there's a huge, huge, myth around Loub that I often like to debunk and that is you only bring in loop if there's a problem like it's like first aid Like call 911. Oh my god. She's dry and then the man thing. I it's my fault She's dry. There's just cover better bring the loop out from under the bed because you know like he did something wrong And then also people just think it's, yeah, when there's a problem because she's not turned on. Now here's the thing about loop is that a woman can get wet

when she's turned on or not. So essentially what I'm saying is her wetness level is not an indicator of a rousal. It's also not consistent. So a woman could be wet at the beginning of sex and not throughout. And so what happens is if she's not wet, and it's not because of you, because you're amazing. You're the amazing. Relations.

There you go, there you go. But it happens. So when you just add a few drops of lube, maybe you put on the clitoris, right, wherever you start, you rub it in with your hands, instead of like people use saliva. Yeah. Other hands aren't clean. I'm like, oh, let me get my penis in.

No, just a few drops you rub in because the clitoris isn't self-liubricating and all this stuff. Or you rub it on your penis before you put it inside and it's like mimics your natural lubrication. It lasts throughout the whole sexual act. And women who use lube during any sexual act, whether it's masturbation or intercourse, are 80% more likely to orgasm. Really?

So lube is underrated and misunderstood. Ah, see, I would think it was for if things aren't going right. Right, no, it's for things going better. My dream is a lube on every nightstand. I want everybody to just have the lube there. I have lubs that are like beautiful, like an uber lube and a beautiful glass bottle and it's a few drops like before any kind of

masturbation, anything, it'll be life changing. Really? I did not know that. See? I was an old school thinking. Well, it's not even, yeah. People, that's what most people think. And then no one's ever said to me in all these 14 years, like, why did you tell me to use lube? That was a mistake.

Like, no, it's life changing. In fact, it might be on my tombstone. Like, she put a Lube on every night's head. And she was happy. Uber Lube. Yeah. A few drops, silicone, life changing. You're welcome.

Now, if a guy's by themselves, do they use this as well? Yeah, sure. Absolutely. I mean, here's the thing. Why do you want to ignore that most men give themselves hand jobs dry. I think I wouldn't want to dry hand job. I mean, if I had a penis, which I don't, so yeah, try it.

I think most guys are just used to it because you've done it every century. Right, but what if you felt better and slippery and you didn't have to... Well, but kids didn't, you would want to do it all the time. Well, don't you do it all the time anyway? No, not really. No. And you can see. Oh, busy man you do it all the time anyway? No, not really. No. And you busy. Oh, busy man.

He comes home, he's got his routine. We're going to the restaurant. I got my routine. Oh wait, uh huh. I said, when you're going to, right, you're busy. You find time. No, don't give me wrong. You find time.

But it's not like every day with me, you know. No, no, I got you. Yeah. I got you. So what is happening every day with you? So you got your special that came out, would you ever once check it out at Amazon? Amazon Prime is absolutely for free. That's a lot of like, I guys you so what is happening every day with you? So you got your special that came out. Yeah everyone's checking out at Amazon Amazon prime It's absolutely for that's a lot of like I guys say watch your clips. I what we love your Instagram fee

Christmas obsessed with you your speech is that he's so funny. Yeah, I love you. We're all Michael. Yo fans Oh, but what's that? Oh, I know. Thank you. I'm a you fan. I'm a you fan Like I have a mutual fan thing going. We do we do I know I'm so proud of you. I'm a u-fan. We like having mutual fan thing going. We do, we do. I know I'm so proud of you. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. That's so nice.

From the heart. I mean, you do. That's awesome. But like, what was it like, how long did it take you to write this material and get up there for it? I mean, that's a big deal. Oh, no, it took about a couple of years. Right now, I'm writing my next one.

So I'm already, I have a new 25 minutes I'm working on. But now, life is coming out so much faster with a kid and a wife, so much, life is just moving so fast right now. So there's so much to write about. So it's, How do you write what's your process for that? I find my notes in your notes and your phone. I do all the time.

I talk to my phone all the time, get notes, but I take real things that happen and then I, uh, and then I heighten them. You know, so everything I say on stage is a real story and then I'll just find the funny in it and make it funnier. Okay. I'll write it in a better way. Okay.

Where it's not a lot, it's still the exact same story. I'll just find, I'll break down what's so funny about that story. But do you find it hard ever being a comedian like that when you're out. Are you always looking for the funny? Always. Always. Anytime I make anyone laugh, I think to myself, what was funny? And then I make a mental note or I put it in my phone. So you could just be hanging out with friends. You say something funny in the whole table. Last year like, hold up. Like in your mind, you go, oh my God,

what was that? And so you write it down, which is annoying because you're always trying to find or you're always looking at things in the wrong way, or you're watching TV in a different way. So it, I would imagine it's like a director or an actor watching their own movie, because life is my own life is my movie. So I'm always trying to analyze, oh, is this funny? Would this be funny? Would that be funny? Especially when I'm at home with my wife, I'm also over analyzing situations. Like, oh, she, she, she, she practiced my own when I said that. Like, like, for instance, my son right now, he has,

he's only two, but I'm knowing that he's super athletic. Like he's in, and I'm a competitive father. So I bring him to the park to see how good he is compared to other two-year-old kids. So I'm like having them compete. He's laughing, that's funny. Like I'm having them compete against other kids, and it's so wrong.

And he's better than every kid out there. Of course. Because he's my son, but I'm finding out he's not super bright. You know, like his vocabulary isn't as big. So I'm like, oh, he's dumb like me. You know, so it's kind of like he got my brain, but he got me and my wife's athletics. And so now I know we need to put more focus

and to teaching him things. It's gonna have to get a tutor, right? But he's gonna kill it on the field. Yeah, like. He has a kid that is exact same age. They went to a birthday party. The other kid said, happy birthday. He goes, happy birthday.

I look at my son, he walks up to the kid and goes, blue. And I'm like, oh, man. Do not, do not, no vocabulary. Right, exactly. It'll happen though to grow. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I love it. Yeah, and so it's just life.

They're right. Everything in life, you just write about and talk about. But you're doing a great job and you make me laugh whenever I see you and I love watching you and I love watching your career where it's going now. It's amazing. Thank you. Truly. Yeah, we're we're we're hustling podcast coming soon perhaps. Podcast coming soon. Of course you can hear me on serious XM hits one. There's some hits one they're playing that okay. Yep. I'm on that and then tonight and I'm on entertainment tonight if you're on the West Coast interview in Dinsale, Washington. How is that amazing?

Really and Denzel I mean he's one of my heroes. He was honored for Award lifetime achievement award and to be on the red carpet with him and then go into the event and watch him It was that did you to party prep What I do is I you know Whoever you work for they give a couple of questions, but I give questions I I, you know, whoever you work for, they give a couple of questions, but I give questions I wanna know, but I'm all about moments.

I try to create moments with a person. Like, that's what I'm known for in an industry. If I interview you, I'm gonna make three or four great moments for television, where they laugh really loud, or they go, oh my God, I've never been asked that before. You just want that connection, you want that moment in, and that's something that, you know, when they go down the carpet, they're not going to get that moment from anybody else.

So where are you thinking ahead of time? This is the moment that I'm going to, like, I, what you're going to ask them, no? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I have all types of, it depends on the celebrity, but I have different things. Like, for instance, a moment with the rock, because I love the rock, a moment with the rock, I was interviewing him. And of course, he's a wrestler, he was a wrestler, but I can't wrestle him on a red carpet.

So we thumb wrestled, but I had a ring where you put your thumb, so it was a ring. So that was a funny moment. It's a funny moment. It's a funny moment. And then when I had Will Farrell and Kevin Hart together, I told, I do a bit with them where I go finish the story where each one says one word,

and they have to tell people to go why to go to the movie. And it just comes up really funny because they're trying to finish each other's word and it makes a sentence. So you just try to put them in. You're good. You've had so much success all these years. You're sending up everywhere,

television and your special and your shows and all the things. I've something that I do with my listeners. That might be funny. That might be an inter-art. Our main tier. If you're cool with it, my tier. Okay, I'm gonna give you a choice here.

Would you like, would you rather questions? You get five, or are quicky questions that we ask every look. Quicky question. What you tell me which ones, it doesn't matter. Whatever y'all want. I'm gonna do, would you rather? Okay, let's do it.

Okay, would you do it. Okay. Would you rather only have sex in the bedroom or never have sex in the bedroom? Only have, or never have sex in the bedroom? Yeah, like you have to choose one. Only for the rest of your life. But I can have sex in other places. Any other place.

Oh, then never in the bedroom. Okay. Yeah. Perfect, because you know we gotta mix it up. Yeah. Would you rather walk in on your parents making love and caught making love? Oh, my parents?

My parents only had sex once. That was me. Exactly. That's, we need to talk offline then. Oh my God. That's really, I got you. I mean, is that, or am I not?

Well, I don't know about this world. Would you want to walk in? No, never, neither. I don't want to walk in. But I wouldn't mind if somebody walked in on me. Okay, be hot. Yeah. Okay, I'm good looking. You are. You know me. I don't wanna walk in. But I wouldn't mind if somebody walked in on me. Okay, be hot. Yeah. Okay.

I'm good looking. You are. You know? I love it. I want people walking on me. I know. Let me know. Come on.

It's party. Would you rather be terrible at kissing or at oral sex? Wait kissing or oral sex. Are giving oral, providing oral or kissing, which... I want to be better in oral. Perfect. Because kissing is just like, you know, it's nice if you're a good kissing. I'm so glad you answered that. But oral is... I already love you, but never a whole new world of respect for you.

Oh, oral, if you got your oral game on, you are the man. Right. Yeah, yeah. Michael, yo. Yeah. Okay. Are you a kisser? I'm a kisser, but I will give it up for Orr.

I mean, I, yeah, but I'm a, about the Orr. Yeah, but sure. I can never kiss again. No, no, but I'm saying do you like kissing? I like kissing. Yeah, I love kissing. Okay. But kissing is the first thing that goes in long term relationship.

So people, I think it's like, what kind of kissing goes first? Any kind, like, just all of it. Like, you guys get into sex Like the kids for a second and the clothes are off and there I mean like and then there's no warm-up or for a play Yeah, it happens maybe not in your relationship. Yeah, I'm a kisser, but I kind of I like I do notice that like we Well, but we always kiss, but it's not like the tongue, but that's weird in front of your two you hey but it's not like the tongue, but that's weird in front of your two. Hey, babe. Ah.

In front of your... Yeah, that's fun. Right, right. Within the tongue. Dad, that's fun. What do you mean when you go to or together for your intimate moment? Oh, yeah, yeah, no, we kiss. Okay, good.

That's important. Now I'm going to move to a lot of my cookie questions. What's your biggest turn on? Biggest turn on. I like the outfits. Sexy outfits, look in the bedroom. Yeah, because once you get into the sex part, you know, it's fun, but it's, but getting there is the exciting part. I agree, the anticipation.

Yeah. Fucking four play. Don't skip a dress up sexy. Yeah. Ah, okay. Biggest turn off. Oh, biggest turn off. Okay.

People talk too much. And I'm not like, when you talk to me, Biggest turn off oh Biggest turn up Okay people talk too much and I'm not like when you talk too much like in my past is like and when you don't know how to talk like you when you're saying stuff And you like trying to be like oh sexy and it's the word like oh give it to me Like over talking oh my gosh, it's like shut up. I just look hey, hey, I don't need play by play This is not a sports football game. We're playing here. I don't need to be always in always out No, I do not need play by play I I can't stand it's almost like I just want to put my hand over the mouth Right, stop. Right like I just want to put my hand over the mouth. Shhh, stop. Speak, right. Like, you had women, I've heard this too,

that women sometimes arm end it gets like a script. Like it was for coming from porn. It wasn't even, you know what it's like? Thin stick to the moment. It's almost like a comedy. Like they watched it on a comedy, and they just copying with it. It's like, oh yeah, oh, oh, oh, hard or hard.

Oh yeah, right there, right there, right there. I'm like, oh, and this is the woman. And I'm like, what are you doing? This is not cool with me. No, I hear you. I feel like someone are like, I don't right there, right there. I'm like, oh, and this is the woman. And I'm like, what are you doing? This is not cool with me. No, I hear you. I feel like some are like, I don't know if she was watching porn, like where she got the script from, it wasn't even authentic.

Okay, you did well. But because I don't think, I don't think people just yell at people like that. No, they don't. For no reason, you know? No, really? I'm not even in yet. I never felt good.

Wait till I get in. You know, whoo! I'm like, wait, my pants are still on. I have everything on still. even in yet. It feels good. Wait till I get in. You're like, whoa! I'm like, wait, my pants are still on. I have everything on still. What's going on? Oh my god. Why are you like that?

That's amazing. Okay, Michael, yo, you're awesome. Where can people find you? Okay, at Michael, yo, everywhere on Instagram, follow me right now at Michael, yo, and all the details about my special. And if you're an Emmy voter, you can vote for me on my essay. Vote for me now. Yeah. Yeah, Blazion, check out his show.

I'm really proud of you. Oh, I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. Prime. Yeah. OK, we'll see you soon. Absolutely. This is the beginning.

The beginning. OK, thank you for being here. And we're going to be back. We're going to take a quick break. And we come back. We're going to get into your calls and your email questions. Let's do an email. So this comes from Clarice, 33 in Georgia. She writes, Hi Emily.

I have always been a very sexual person and super curious and I love to try new things. Recently, my boyfriend suggested we should have a threesome. I have always wanted to have one just to try it. So we've had threesome. I have always wanted to have one just to try it. So we've had three so far with the same girl. The first time my boyfriend had penetrative sex with our third and wouldn't let me watch. Yeah. He actually pushed me away and told me to go down by his feet. He didn't even want me watching. I was crushed. I've even caught him watching her play with herself and he can't take his eyes off of her. So after that we went over the rules such as no penetration or kissing her on the mouth because he barely even kisses me and he told me the next time won't be like that. But I am having a hard time moving on and so many mixed emotions still.

I don't know what to do. Please help. Okay Clarice. Um yeah, this is really what to do. Please help. Okay, Clarice. Um, yeah. This is really disturbing to me. This was like breaking all of the three-some 101 rules. Okay? My rules are if you're going to have a three-some in a relationship, you want to make sure that you're on solid ground. Your sex life is incredible.

Your communication is so great. And you're doing it because you both want to do it. And you've talked through ad nauseam, the rules, you have safe words. And you've really decided that you're doing it to make both of your life's sex life better. I am so disturbed here, honey, Clarice, that you had three of them with the same girl

and that he wouldn't let you watch. He pushed you away and told you to go down by his feet like you were a dog and that doesn't want you watching. Listen, some of the beauty of a three, some of you ask some people like, oh my God, no, three of them are terrible, they're gonna tear your relationship apart. This is when that happens, Clarice.

This is the worst case scenario. So I, and then you're watching and play with yourself and you're so insecure now, I would say, I understand. Listen, I would say do not have another three-some with this woman. And if you really want to stay with your boyfriend, you have got to take all the three-some elements out of it and then get back into him, like talk about like what,

you know, what both of you want again to heal this because in a way, this was kind of, this was really disrespectful. He was disregarding in an agreement and boundaries that you guys set. I mean, you set some serious boundaries and then he told you not to wash and push away, like I'm upset.

Like when I read this and the end, I was like, we've got to talk about this tonight. And you went over the rules again. And first of all, also what I'm hearing in here is he barely kisses you and then he's kissing her. Like this is just a recipe are all ready for disaster. It already is. And I'm just not loving your relationship.

I don't know how long you guys have been together, but I would say no go on the three sims with this guy and no go on probably anything else. That's rough. That is rough. I know, all of it is, it makes us like, it made me cry. I know. Yeah.

This gives three sims a bad rap. We have a lot of great stuff on our website. If you wanna check it out, we have podcasts and blogs, but if you would like to know, I mean, first, you got to both be on the same page, you got to make sure that you're not doing it to save your relationship. It is in no way like, oh, our sex life is so boring. Maybe we should call on a friend. No, that's not going to work. That's a disaster. And in fact, what the other thing I don't like about this email is that it was the same girl three times.

I know. Usually someone you don't know that you have no Is that it was the same girl three times? I know. Did she with someone you don't know? Yeah. You have no connection with them that you're not going to see again. And then after you have the threesome, you actually like talk about it and what worked and what didn't. And you guys might not just have that kind of connection

and that maturity to go the distance here. All right, so we have Caitlin, who's 30 in Virginia. And she's dating someone who doesn't like labels and is worried this will backfire on her. Hey Caitlin! Hi! Hi! Okay tell me what's going on.

I hear what she's like oh I don't want to be like your boyfriend but I still like you that kind of thing. Yeah and we are, we've been exclusive, we have that conversation like two and a half months ago. Everything else is going great. I mean, we have a lot of fun. I'm fairly new to the area, so I don't know that many people. Right.

But I don't know if I should push the issue or move on. Well, what are you looking for right now, Kaylin? Are you looking for like your guy, the settle down, get married, the whole thing? I think so. I mean, here's the thing. If he told you he doesn't like labels and you're not exclusive, what's keeping you

from still seeing him and dating other people? We are exclusive. Oh, OK. So then what's the no label part? What kind of label does he want? Like to be boyfriend, girlfriend. So he doesn't want to use the word, boyfriend, girlfriend, the word like but he wants to be exclusive. So he's only okay. Well, did you ask, have you ever asked him why? Like what is it about those labels that don't make you feel right?

Good? I have not. So that might be interesting before you ditch, before you run. I think it's important to say, well, what is it about those terms that don't feel good to you? Because to be honest, I don't love the term boyfriend all the time. I'm like, he's my partner. I don't know.

Sometimes it just makes me feel, this was like in the past. I don't know. I feel differently now, but it would make me feel, this was like in the past. I don't know, I feel differently now, but it would make me feel like I was, I was tied to somebody and it made me feel like I lost my independence even though I was monogamous. And then if I had a boyfriend that was really like into it, I'd be like, okay, I guess we can do it.

You know what I'm saying? So maybe like you're drawing conclusions off of, we don't have enough information yet. Now maybe he doesn't want to use it because he doesn't really, he's not being honest to your commitment. I don't know yet. So I think this is a great time to just find out more

about him and ask him what it is. Because to me, if you're committed, why not use the terms? Most people are cool with those terms, those words. Yeah, those people. I do really Trump's admit. I don't think he's seeing anybody else or anything. Okay.

So, yeah. How long has it been you said a few months? Yeah. Like two and a half months. Okay. And when did you move to the town? October. Okay.

So the thing is also you just want to know, you know, that make sure it's not just because he's making you feel comfortable and he's been there for a while and he feels safe. Like I think when you move to a new town, it's important to like make sure you're out there meeting new friends, new people and, you know, not just locking down to one person if you're not certain. So let's clear it up with him, find out his intentions so you can get clear and then decide

where you want to go from there. Alright? Does that make sense? Alright, alright. Yeah, how would you say that? Okay, good question. So, Caitlin, I would say next time you guys are on your date or you're hanging out, you're chilling. Just say, oh, you know what's funny?

I've been thinking about it. My mom said to me, oh, how's your boyfriend? And I told her, my friend at work said to me, how's your boyfriend? And I said to her, oh no, we don't use those labels because Zeta's like to use them. I'm not sure why or whatever. And she could, you could just say someone asked me why and made me think, I'm curious, what is it about those labels that don't feel good to you? Just like that, not like a, and Caitlin, the biggest key that you're going to use just throughout your lifetime, if you remember remember when we had these conversations that seemed difficult and scary about labels or commitment or even sex we don't want it to be like there's a problem.

It's more like keep it light and curious like you're just because you are so I think does that feel like something you could do? Yeah, definitely. And if he says I don't't know, it just makes me feel well, we don't let him get off the hook and say, well, OK, but I'm just curious. Did you once have a girlfriend? You said girlfriend and someone made fun of you.

I'm just curious. And then you know, see where else it takes you, because there's a reason why, Caitlin. And then you should feel free to say, because to me, I actually like those labels. They actually feel good to me, I actually like those labels. They actually feel good to me. I've always used them. So I'm just trying to figure out if we're together,

like what it means, I'm trying to make sense of it. Oh, that's a really good idea. Okay. Yeah, good. Because you know what, Katelyn, find out now, if not now when, right? I think we wait so much like we try to pick cool and safe, but this is our lives. So if he says oh, yeah, because actually I want to be free and open and you're gonna find out

So the sooner you get the conversation the better and then you can let me know how it goes and I'll be with the next steps Okay, okay, thanks Caitlin. Thank you. You're so welcome. I'm here for you. We have Ashley 45 in Arizona She recently hooked up with a man. She's wanted for years and it wasn't that great Ashley girl. I hear you. What happened tell me everything? It's been over 10 years in the making and we finally Both of us were single at the same time and we went out on Saturday had a great time Kissing was amazing But when the finally got down to the sex, he came within, I don't know, five minutes maybe. Okay.

But I just couldn't, during oral sex, I couldn't, I don't know, I just felt like he was looking like my arm. He was looking my arm. He was licking your arm. I had to have any. Yeah, I did it. It was so good. And the sex was just kind of like, I think he was nervous.

OK, Ashley, wait a minute. Let me just throw. OK, you had a good kiss. Maybe he was nervous. And he was like, lose. Maybe he's been excited too. And men, when they're nervous, shows up,

but a lot easier to read than women during sex. No, I don't think that's the case, because he's kind of like a player. Oh. Okay. You think he said he had a dry spell for about six months. Okay. He said, okay.

And my dry spell's been about three. Okay So so no, is this something that happens with age? I don't know well, I don't know. I mean here's a thing So did you try to correct it or you like? You know, did he seem into it or was he just not paying attention if it felt like he was licking your arm You didn't know what he was doing orally. Do you think that he was just kind of not really that into it or do you really thought he was doing good job? You know what? He was giving me compliments while he was giving me oral, which I assumed that he enjoyed

what he was doing, but I just couldn't like... Right. He wasn't. I don't know. Right. And then when you were actually having sex, you were just kind of pounding away at you and came in five minutes. Yeah.

Oh, I hear you. I feel like I was there. I've been there, actually. I've been there. And I got to tell you, here's the sad thing. Ready, Ashley? How old is he? 49, you said?

Are you 45? Do you say 49? Do I make that up? Okay. Yeah, you made that up. How old is he? He's 43. 43. Okay, you made that up. How old is he? 43. Okay, here's the thing.

It doesn't matter how old the guy is, if he's never had a corrective moment, where no one sleeping with him, he sleeps with a woman, a woman never said, you know what? Let's just slow it down a bit. Let me show you what feels good to me. Please meet my clitoris. Please slow down sex. Please don't hammer away at me. Good job, camera.

So you're calling him a player. Maybe he truly is. When I take from that He's gone after one woman to the next to the next to the next so he might have had a lot of sex a lot of notches in his bedpost But that doesn't mean that he's a conscious present you know skill lover

So but I I mean I, what's your question? Are you thinking like you should try it one more time? Are you just calling tell me that it was disappointing or what would you like to do here? Well, I didn't know if it was me because I am older and- No, older why? Old me that you were older and that what? Oh, and that he was not really into you because you're older? No, no one. Old me that you were older and that what? Oh, and that he was not really into you because you're older?

No, no, no. It's like, you know, I didn't have a loop with me. I wasn't, I mean, I shaved, but I wasn't planning on having sex. You know, I didn't have loops. I mean, he went and bought condoms and, you know, so I didn't know. Maybe we just anticipated, like, we hyped up that moment because you didn't wait for so long.

Right. That's was my first thing before you even told me about him, Jack harming away at you and licking the arm. I said to you, all that, all that build up is a lot of pressure. So maybe go out with him one more time. Maybe mix it up. Maybe it's a day thing. You guys go to lunch or you hang out

and you do something together and activity. And you see if you warm up and get comfortable. And then, because if the kissing was good and there was chemistry, I wouldn't let one time rule it out. I'm not going to let I think you should go out with them again. Unless it was horrible and you did something really bad to you or said some things that were not great. No, I mean everything was amazing. The state was amazing. I mean we had a room with the jacuzzi tub in there. Even after we just tried to relax in there.

Was it fun after this X? Did you like hanging out with them after the... That's it. Yeah? So we hung out in the jacuzzi spa in the room. That's so fun. Okay, Ashley, so you felt good then afterwards. Yeah, I mean, I enjoyed his time. I was just like, oh, that was really disappointing. I know, but maybe he was too. Like here's a thing, like maybe he's embarrassed because he came too quickly.

And some guys need direction. I've taught so many men how to perform oral in the way that they should, in the way that I wanted at least. And then explain to them how I wanted sex in a very loving way that they were cool. Like people need direction. So oftentimes, so I feel like this is a 10 year thing.

You have to go out them again, I think. I don't think you can rule it out. And that next time though, see what happens. Maybe you could even talk to him by if you known for 10 years beforehand. And just say, I wasn't, yeah, I was thought, what do you think about our sex? Yeah, I can't wait to try again.

Maybe next time we can have more for a play or what's your fantasy or I don't know, or just show up another date and see what happens. But I don't think that I think you gotta give it while we're trying then call me back, okay? Okay, well, thanks Ashley. I think that if you're in our brain so easily want to say no, our brain wants to be like,

I'm gonna save you from trouble, I'm gonna save you from danger, I'm gonna save you from challenges. So here's the million reasons why this person is wrong. And so when you can count of that, and I feel like she has 10 years of attraction, because it was great. Is a nice guy in the end, he came quick and didn't know how to touch her. He's 43 years with a lot of women, and you just don't after why, you just don't know how to connect sexually sometimes. So, get one more try. All right guys,

thanks so much for listening to the show, supporting the show, sharing this with a friend. Like, if you got something from this, send this episode to someone. We need someone to help us start realizing that there's so much more to sex than what we're actually experiencing right now. So thank you for sharing and subscribing and supporting the show going into our 15th year. So appreciate you all. And thanks to my amazing team, I love you all.

Thank you to Ken and Chris did in Michelle and producer Jamie and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com.