Sex With Emily - Dating Dilemmas & Blowjob Dealbreakers

Episode Date: May 20, 2015

Today’s podcast is all about getting what you want in the bedroom and in the dating world. Whether you’ve been running into blowjob barriers, having sex position problems or dating drawbacks, Emily has the advice you need to turn your sex, relationship and dating luck around.  Are you and your partner stuck in a sex position rut? Does he/she have a fantasy you’re not comfortable exploring? Emily provides guidance on these sexual questions and concerns and  also helps a couple guys with their respective dating dilemmas. Whether you’re a single dad or just an unsuccessful dater, this show has got the answers for you! Explore the benefits and dangers of social media, cell phones, and get an amazing tip from Emily about what to keep in your freezer! Don’t miss out on the morsels of wisdom and fun-filled facts that this show has to offer!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Today's show I'm teaching you how to get what you want, both in the bedroom and out in the dating world. Do you want to change things up in the bedroom? Are you sick of your partner's B.J. ruining habits? Are you ready to start dating but wondering how to put yourself out there? I've got the answers and so much more

in today's episode of Sex with Emily. Hey, I'm Emily and thanks so much for listening to the show. But quick question, is anyone else starving right now? I mean, seriously, my days are so busy. I'm constantly running around from meeting to the office, to the studio. I never have time to shop or get food. You guys always hear me talk about that.

So how am I supposed to stock up on healthy snacks? And I love to snack. In fact, I think I only snack. That's why I'm so excited about Graze.com. Have you heard of Graze.com? Let me tell you this. It's a snack service that delivers tasty nutritious snacks right to your worker home. And each box is customized to your taste preferences. You can tell them what you like.

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Really, you gotta check it out. All their snacks are approved by their in-house nutritionists and contain no GMOs, artificial flavors, or trans fats. You can actually feel good about what you're eating. And they only range from 6.99 to 11.99 per box. Not bad, right? Totally worth it. Go to graze.com. That's g-r-a-z-e.com.

And get your first box free. But what did you get to lose except for nothing? Because then you also need to eat. So go there. That's a grays.com code Emily. Thanks for listening. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes, they call them in a bag on me. Hey, Aveline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute.

The girls got a hair stand. It's a lie. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It's drinks? Can we not talk about sex so? Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my god, I'm off here so I'm gone. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just fling with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can check it all of our podcasts, send it for mailing lists or videos, all the great stuff going on the site that'll change your life, right, menace? Hi, menace. Of course, hi. How are you doing? So good to see you.

So you were talking about Emily and Tony and Down Under Confer. Yes. Yes. It is music festival season, guys. doing? So good to see you. So you were talking about Emily and Tony and Down Under a Concert. Yes. It is music festival season, guys. And I'm telling you right now, that I used it during Coachella, it is hot. I didn't talk about Dunn Under Concert today. Yeah, you're not, you're not by a shower. You're gonna smell, you're gonna stink,

and you're gonna wanna hook up after the festival. For sure. Or during, like I did. Yeah, you're gonna stink, and you're gonna wanna hook up after the festival. For sure. Or during, like I did. Yeah, you're gonna wanna smell nice, you know, if she's gonna go down there, and if she smells something that she doesn't like, then guess what?

Guess what, vomit. Yeah, the party's over for you. Exactly, so you use it in a more, explain to them, because you're dude, you balls are how do you use it. Yeah, it's basically like, it has an awesome scent to it. And then it just feels good on your skin. Yeah, it's moisturizing and it's a cream

that quickly turns into like a light powder, but it's not best, you don't get powder on your clothes. And it will prevent you from sweating down there, which you might think I sure, you're not fresh within a day. And women, taught under your breast, lower back, anywhere you sweat. Change your life. Thank you, man. It's down under your breast, lower back, anywhere you sweat. Change your life.

Thank you, my goodness. Down under comfort, that's also Emily Tony. There's like over 35 music festivals coming up across the country. So get out there, meet people. You're gonna be dancing, meet people, get blow jobs that's just so good. Yeah, and get some down under comfort, I'm telling you.

And it's actually, she can't taste it It's tapioca. It's made out of like it tastes like it doesn't taste like anything and you just won't sweat Good do it. I'm so glad you like what's going on with you. Oh my god You know things are going on Tinder. Oh God. I am revisiting tinder. I know I keep saying and hinge Hinge it's the new new yeah, it's the new new and it's like friends. Okay, so hinge is like tinder So tinder okay, I haveinge is like Tinder. So Tinder works. Oh, okay, I have heard of it. Yeah.

So Tinder, if you happen to have mutual Facebook friends, they'll show up, but Tinder, you have to have mutual Facebook friends. No, Hinge. Yeah, sorry. Hinge, you have to have mutual friends. So it kind of closes the gap where you're more like, oh, one of the reasons I'm here.

Yeah, but you know, the pen to the front is, if you're like, oh, that guy's crazy. You might want to go on it with that. But no, I'm good. I'm dating. Yeah, but you know depend of the front is if you're like oh that guy's crazy But no, I'm good. I'm dating. I'm actually I have a date This week I don't know yeah, we're going to dinner and then This week in Vegas I'm gonna meet up with someone. I don't know. I've got a lot of people now That I've met that are sort of coming into the rotation. And I hope to bring you all more stories

and information soon, because it's getting exciting. And you know, it's really funny, is that, okay, so we've done, like I said, 2000 podcasts, I've mentioned, which is a lot, by the way, but they're all like, I always think, you know, they're evergreen. Like it's not like, if the show was about blow jobs two years ago, it's pretty much

gonna be the same, like, or whatever it's about, half the people. But some things that are different is like the first, you know, met as a chat at the beginning. And this one was from San Francisco that we just, so as we re-release them, because they're good. They're great for throwbacks. And funny, because people, someone listened to them and she's like, oh my god,

it was so funny. You were dating so and so and I had like three dates a night. It was like, fun times, like you were single. And I'm getting back to that. Like that Emily is coming back. Wow. I just feel like, you know what? You you were single. And I'm getting back to that, like that Emily is coming back. That's why I was feeling like, you know what, you're gonna see a different side of me. You haven't seen the Emily dating crazy funny,

interesting stories and, you know, maybe some- I know. Maybe some- That's what I wanna hear. I know. At this moment, I don't have any great stories for you sexually, but I promise they are on the way this summer. All right, good.

Okay. Cause yeah, my story is like involve, you know, I don't know, funny, like funny, unsexual things that go on in my relationship. Like there was a piece of chocolate. Okay, so I bought this thing, it's called DropCam. And it's by Nest, which a company, which Google bought whatever. Of course, what didn't they buy? They're they're buying me next week. I know hopefully please I do I know I'm so sell my soul to them

But the thing is I did so anyways drop cam is a camera that you can put up anywhere It's like through a Wi-Fi you know whatever and I bought it last week because people like Like I'm going to Vegas also, right? And the thing is, you're having trouble over there, you're dropping stuff. But the thing is, you're on social media, you go out of town, you're telling so many people that you're not home. Right, you're so right.

Yeah, and anyone can find anything on the internet, no one is safe. So I got this drop cam, and I put it in there, and it's so funny because in my apartment and there's like, it has emotion, sensual, there's not and stuff like that. And then, so there's like this piece of chocolate in the living room and I go and I look and it's gone.

I was like, did you eat my chocolate, but I know she ate it and she's like smiling. She's like, no I didn't, I go really? So I pull up my app. There's an app for it. You can watch your house and you watch her eat it. That's hilarious. And then I was like, oh, okay, let me look.

And then so has like a motion sensor. And then so I pull it up and I'm like, oh, what are you doing right here? That is hilarious. It's kind of red handed. Dude, that's crazy though. Your whole house is monitored by that? No, just like. Just one area. Just one area. You watch, Trey, that is so nice. See that right there, there's my. that's crazy though. Your whole house is monitored by that? No, just like this one area.

You watch the read that it's like. Let's see right there. There's my, my, That's so nice. Kitchen area. Look at your fancy house. Yeah, Craig. You never write me over.

I know, right? You've never been to my new place either, whatever. It's not new anymore. That's hilarious. You never write me either. Let me say, it's good. It's good. A guy should never be upset that a woman needs chocolate.

And here's another chocolate tip for men out there. It might have marijuana. I don't know. Oh, dude. Oh, mine, mine. No. Sometimes people give me stuff. Listen, listen, if you're a dude, one of the best things you can do is buy a bunch of

chocolate bars or ice cream and leave it in your freezer. Because there will be a check at some point that you're sleeping with or sleep so over when it's an electric shock. Do you have any chocolate or do you have anything chocolate? Or do you want to eat sweet? And I've dated guys who like, I don't know, they probably did this on purpose because they know this, but they like whip out chocolate and sometimes after sex or whenever you just want chocolate.

Guys are like, do you want to chocolate? But girls do. And so I'm saying it's in your freezer, it won't go bad and buy some really delicious chocolate bars and then whip it out. Sweet. And they go tip. That is the best tip I've ever given. It's still masturbation month. How is it going everyone? How is it coming and going? Get

it? No, but really what have you learned? What have you done? How did you challenge yourself in any way? I hope you did because you've got a few weeks left to master your own body. Now have you steered like a guy able to projectile his semen? Yeah. Like, at a distance? Some guys can, yeah. Yeah. Like, hegaloxercises help you put shoot across the room.

Yeah. What's the farthest distance you think you've seen in your- Why is there like a contest with something? No, I'm just wondering. No, but I remember remember like a buddy in my high school was telling me like, oh yeah, you know, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job and it's shot across the room onto like a

Nirvana poster. I don't know about that. I used to Google it, but I think when you're young, well, it's funny because my friend and his girlfriend were using Kaggle Camp, right? Which is my iPhone app, which if you don't know, Kaggle exercises are so important for men and women. You'll have stronger orgasms, better orgasms,

more frequent orgasms. There's tons of health benefits, but I'm just starting with the good ones orgasms. And it reminds you to do them, so check it out, Kaggle Camp. But the point is, my friend and his girlfriend, there's 20 levels. It's like a fun, it's a game, and they were competing. And he's like 35, 36, and he's like,

kept setting me screenshots. Like I'm at level 17, I'm at level 18. And then level 19 And he's like 35, 36, and he's like, kept setting me screenshots. Like I'm at level 17, I'm at level 18. And then level 19, and he's like, oh my God, Emily, my junk, my jacket, shot across the room like I was 19 years old. He's like, it is so much stronger because your kegge muscles are all connected and it will help you, yeah.

Because guys see that as like a thing. Like what shoots across the room, you're like, oh, damn, damn, it's like shot put, but where? But why do you ask, by the way? You're just kidding. No, what we're just talking about masturbation, remember, I had a guy once like,

like I remember, I think I made a game, but I don't remember what it was. I was probably a game blowjob, but I don't know how I was up then. Something happened at Chamae. Whoa. And I couldn't see. I was like, oh my god, it's all fun and good till, you know,

your iPhone until the jacket gets your eye. No, I don't know, but that would be a good contest. And then, is it like Olympic Book of World Records or something? I don't know. What ever happened to the Book of World's Records? I'm like, that was a big deal. It's still around.

I remember in school though, it was like, oh, you'd always want to get the book. Yeah. Read through the book. It was so fun. And kids don't have fun these days. No, they don't because all of you use other phones.

It upsets me to no end that kids are obsessed with their cell phones. I mean, I don't know that they play outside. I don't know if they talk to their siblings or their friends. My coworker just told me that her niece at 10 years old got a cell phone. Oh my God. Yeah. Mine was on a 12.

And I'm telling you, they are connected. Like it was so nice when we were all in Israel together for my niece's but mitzvah that we had no cell service. So we actually had to sit there and like talk the whole time. Yeah, they were freaking out though. But there was like one spot where we did, they were like Instagramming and did it. But when I've been Michigan seeing them,

it's like that's all it is. And like I'm not even here. What does see photos of your Israel trail? I'll show you, I have a bunch of different. You're on a camel, remember you're talking about them? I know, but the picture it's like, that's all it is. And I'm not even here. It's sad. I see photos from your Israel trail. I'll show you. I have a lot of you. You're on a camel. Remember you're told in the middle.

I know, but the picture of me in the camel is kind of weird, but I'll post it. I'll post an Instagram, sex with Emily. Yes, please. Okay. I'll show you. She fun stuff like that. I know, dude. I got to do it.

I'm really behind on my photos. Okay, so let's get some sex in the news, and then we're going to be answering some of your most pressing questions. There's a study. Oh, this is so interesting, because this reminded me of you, menace, because you were saying this years ago, and I know, I know, you are, you so are, I was like, oh my God. Anyway, it's funny, I can give you so many examples

where I give people ideas and then they just look at me crazy and then, you're like, well this is all I knew then, why don't you make this stuff happen, men? It's hard because I need people on my team to help me. I'm on your team, dude. So there's a, I'm on your team.

I know, but we need people that know how to write code and do what I have to do. Dude, I've got those people, those code people. But see, you sometimes are the, one of the people say, I give you an idea, you're like, oh, you're insane. And then a couple years later, just all over the place.

Just the flash like, Kikuru, Kikuru. Yeah, so there was this, it was so funny. Like, it just a couple examples real quick. So there was one thing that I had. There was a website that I wanted to start. It was called All Day Cam, right? And it was gonna be like things that people can

video stream their life, right? So I was trying to get people on board and no one would get on board with me and then I set up like one camera and I was trying to make it work, you know, whatever. Like three years later, these guys come out with Justin.tv and then they switch it to Twitch TV and sold it for $3 billion.

Dude, that's your problem. That's my F and Life, man, you know? Well, billion. Dude, that's your problem. That's my effing life, man, you know? Well, you know. Anyone that's good that knows how to like write code like that, it already has their own thing in their own ideas that they're trying to work out. That's true.

There's a lot of people who code don't have their ideas. Yeah, but they go to like a big company, it's already a small company. That's, you're so limiting, dude. I just want to podcast my living room. You have all these believe limiting beliefs about what you can No, no, no, I try I still try but I'm the same like that happen. So tell me another idea that I gave you that idea

But there's a notion Social media causes one in seven divorces. Yes, but like years ago you're gonna have Facebook caused a war and this gets into it So but this was actually a study that came out there's been a flood of studies Suggesting how social media is bad for us, but now it appears it actually is breaking up marriages. According to research that was commissioned by law firm social media, especially Facebook, is a factor in one out of seven divorces. It's down more than that.

I've heard one in five. I've heard one in five. I've heard everything. That puts all those engagement announcements and wedding pictures that pop up on your feet into perspective. Yeah, because haters are going to hate and somebody is going to infiltrate on your Facebook page, you know, like maybe old girlfriends, boyfriends or whatever. And they're going to be like, oh, you know, how I see that you're getting together.

I always thought about us, maybe having something, you know, there's too many options out there. There's too many options. Because you used to break up with someone and then you never saw him again. And it was over. You didn't know if they got married, they got kids, if they died, you didn't care. You didn't know.

They live under three. They died, you care. But now you're like, oh, they went to Hawaii. They have two kids. It was his birthday. Why was it? And then so they're constantly in your memory. They're constantly there.

And you might be having a bad day or with a bad day with your partner, you're like, oh, there's like, you know, some stupid. So much fun in 2006 when we went to Coachella, maybe I should hit him up, you know. Bad idea. Hook up again.

Exactly, because social media is a veritable breeding ground for competition and jealousy among friends and rando acquaintances. So wouldn't it only make sense it would spark similar feelings around couples? Around couples? Because there's enough problems and marriage already. And so people, you know, they snoop, they, they go to their partners online and they're like, hey, you know, I noticed that you were chatting with so and so. And social media and merit, social media is the new marriage minefield they said. Social media, specifically pictures and posts on Facebook are being routinely raised in divorce cases.

So it's in the court papers like, you know, partner B, like, we're not on Facebook and talk to her, you know, whatever it is. And people, it's like a pen to our box. Like it's opening it up. And you just like, you know, you want to be secretive and you can't because your partner is going to like get into your Facebook. People don't clear their browsing history. I'm just saying, if you want to save all of this and this is, you know, just clear their browsing history. I'm just saying, if you wanna save all of this,

and this is, you know, just clear your browsing history. It's just you guys are well looking for porn. Because you're never gonna get over what you saw that he was searching for. There's all this like horrific stuff over jealousy too. Just like, oh, this person liked, you know, this photo or, you know, why is she taking so many selfies? Exactly.

Why, if you're married, why are you taking so many sexy photos and putting them online anyway? Because you're new. All of a sudden, and you never did before. You want to have all that attention. You might not want to hook up with somebody, but it's causing attention and it's causing issues. Exactly.

In your life, you know. Right, so why do it? Like why do it? And they say that, I mean, like why even like flirt with that, because you're having a weak moment, you're on a computer, it's late at night, maybe you're buzzed, you're eating pizza, you just masturbate and you're like,

I'll go to Facebook and I'm like, I'll just like this photo. And the next day your wife wakes up, it's like, why'd you like your girlfriend's photo from prom? Whatever it is. So they're saying that married people check their spouses, social media accounts to find out whether or not they're talking to them, it's a threat to their marriage

because they have these assumptions. And it also confirmed that one in five couples fight over something that showed up on social media every day. One in five. Why'd you like that bitch's photo on Instagram, right? So no one on the horse rides around the rise, it's like a constant stream of ammunition that couples can easily use against each other

if they choose. And we're just talking about married. What about people in just in relationships? Just dating. I mean, you can see, oh, he liked, he has a new friend, who's the new girlfriend he has on Facebook, the new woman friend, all this stuff. And so it's just like how text messages can get misconstrued. So can anything you find in your partner's Facebook wall.

So do yourself a favor if you're happy in a relationship overall, but something makes you a little worried. Rather than like play detective, just talk to your partner about it. I'm so good at this stuff that I can see that you're breaking up with somebody before. I know me too. You even announce it or tell anybody. I can't like-

Lots of girls nights there, right? No, no, not even that. Even when it goes to the photos, also like you can see a slow transition. Even if they're still in a relationship, you'll be like, you'll see, oh, the main photo is a picture of you two together for quite a while and then slowly it just goes

a single photo of you and then a single photo of you out by yourself, but it still sets your relationship. That's actually really funny. Suddenly, the relationship status goes away and then they're disingled. Exactly. Or they just announced it. You predict this.

You should just say, hey, what's up buddy? Dude, I predicted that Denmark and Cavendee were like broken up. And like I have had some friends that worked at like, you know, US weekly and stuff like that. I was like, dude, they're broken up. I'm telling you. And they're like, no, no, no, no.

And then two weeks later, they're like, you were right. You know? You can tell it's like in Toy Tide by folks. I know you guys, you leave your tracks. You do leave your tracks there. So like, talk to your partner about it. Or just, the second you feel like you're gonna do something that doesn't feel respectfully apart or just partner, just don't do it.

Okay? Another study, couples hate talking about past sexual partners and most people lie anyway. Another thing I've been saying for years, okay, it might be one of the most private pieces of personal information we have, our number of sexual partners. It's more than a number, it's a window into our relationship history and any conversation about it can be a moment when new couples get closer. But of course, sex educators and doctors and friends, not me though, they say to discuss it

in part of practicing safe sex and of course it's easy to disclose. That's true. So I believe that you should talk about, the only reason you should talk about your sexual past is to say I've got a sexually transmitted disease. But beyond that, talking about the number of people you've slept with, what you've done in the past is so unproductive,

and it is a lose-loose. So, match.com conducted a research study with a research company, and more than half of the 5,000 singles, age 18 to 70, surveyed, said they did not want to know how many sexual partners they're significant other had. Yeah. And then a 2006 study indicated that people who have had more sexual partners are perceived as less desirable for dating and marriage. People are concerned that they have too many numbers because it makes them look promiscuous, some are concerned that they're far below average, and the

bottom line is your partner is going to ask you. And for women we might lie because we're like if I have too many I seem to get thought to less I don't seem as experienced the guys they don't forget care I think women think it's more attractive you've suffered more but the point is it's a doughnest hotel I don't think that this is going to help in any way it never does and people lie too it says that he found that 40% of participants never never omitted their sexual history meaning never partners will 40% of participants never omitted their sexual history, meaning never partners, will 40% omitted disclosing their sexual history of at least one partner

and 20% omitted disclosing their sexual history to all partners, people lie, and okay, so then they also say that, yeah, you're not going to tell it to the anyway, and it never leads. Like, oh wow, you've had stuff with 62 people. That's awesome. What's for dinner? Like it doesn't end that way, it goes on. And it gets brought up all the time.

All the time. It leads to way more awkward questions. Yeah. Exactly, way more awkward questions from people. So I just don't think it's, you know, whatever. So they also say, and I just never believe these numbers, the study that men reported average lifetime sexual partners at 14.64, which is interesting

because like it was the point six. Yeah. She just gave you a blow job. And women's reported average is 8.41. Does that sound like a lot of you? That's. Yeah, because they're lying. You got a time to buy three.

I think it's actually the baby will last week. I mean, really? No, I mean, not me. You get a time to buy three, always. I've heard a lot of times. That's what they say. Yeah. So anyway, don't do this.

Don't lie about Tavi of an STD. Lots about all. How's that? I agree. Okay. Good. But people, I think it's a younger thing too, but I don't know. Don't do it ever.

Emails. All right. What? No, go for it. No, I do. I don't think anyone's asked me that in a while, but I feel like maybe when in my early 20s they're like, so how do you want them? And then I could count. Okay. So let me ask you a question, guys like I feel like maybe when in my early 20s, they're like, so how do you want? And then I could count.

Okay, so let me ask you a question, guys, before we get to emails. All right. I want to know, are you getting enough? Hardier. Are you getting enough? I mean, you probably love more, right? You want a little more? Always.

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Then enter offer code Emily at checkout and you'll get 10 free gifts. Go to go to check out so go to AdamNive.com today. Select any one item, get 10 free gifts including free shipping, enter offer code Emily that's emily at adamanith.com. Sweet. Sweet. Okay. Emails. Thank you for emailing me. We should have some theme music.

Everyone else has theme music like for emails. Like emails. Can we do something like you do that stuff? Yeah. I just, while we got to send theme music in. We'd have to either do it live or I had to add in the music. Like emails. Do do do do do do do. Yeah, I mean, you might have to get this machine called an IR.

Is it replay? You might have seen it on the Rosie O'Donnell show. I think that's the only place, maybe the public saw it, but it costs $3,000. You're not gonna get that. I was thinking a little jingle. Hey, whenever our listeners could write a little jingle, email jingle, it's in a two.

I totally do that. You can get a, oh, do you know what? We totally forgot it. We got a call, Stitcher. We left that CD player there. Remember we got a CD player for the intro for the show? Yeah, you never remember anything. Okay, no.

But remember we got, call Stitcher. We got a CD player, and maybe we can use it for that. Yeah, I have a CD player Yeah, but we need one that we have the hook. I want to go to my computer Whatever we'll talk about it. No, it's a lot of technical stuff. You're talking your Talk okay, ready. Yeah, okay everyone. This is email. So dear Emily My boyfriend of three years only likes to do a doggy style

I have to ask him if we can change it up a few different times and it always goes back to doggy style. What do I do? Please help Jen. Oh, Jen, Jen. He loves it. Oh, Jen, Jen, Jen. It's okay that you have a go to position,

you know, that he's favorite. A lot of guys, that's how they ejaculate. That's where they get there. They're like, I'm gonna turn her over to a dog style. Oh, forever doggy style. Some guys can. Some're like, I'm gonna turn her over and go stuff. No, you go forever, dolly style. Some guys can. Some guys can, some guys can. They get too excited.

It's possible that he's confident in this position and he doesn't know how to change it up. Again, we've asked, and it would be great to let us know where you're from and how old you are. Mm-hmm. That'd be awesome. Okay, but anyway, have you talked to him about it in the past? Because it's possible that you need to let him know

why you want to switch it up and that other positions feel just as good. Does she say she talked to him about it in the past? Because it's possible that you need to let him know why you want to switch it up and that other positions feel just as good. Does she say she's talking to him? She asks them and he goes back to it. So it's kind of like a dog, no pun intended. You gotta keep training him over and over. So don't let him get away with the big, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no his hand on your breasts. Like a lot of guys like to watch you on top grinding, moving.

And if you keep having the conversation with him and nothing changes, you might have to just like take control. Tell him that you like having sex in different ways. What were you gonna say? I'm gonna say ladies, you're listening right now. A guy is not gonna be offended by you talking to him in any way.

But he's tried. He's not gonna be offended by you talking to him in any way. He's not gonna be offended. There's no way any guy out there. But maybe he's insecure. And that's the only way you can do it. Or he doesn't want to look at it. I don't know. But really, in the end, you got to compromise.

If he starts to do the flip and you say, say, you know, babe, I'm really enjoying it this way. I like it. This feels really good. I want to do this. Because she talked to him. And sometimes it looks like now he good. Like, I want to do this. Because she talked to him. And sometimes it looks like now he didn't listen and you got to do it in the moment. And you might have to compromise.

He's not going to give up doggy style forever. But show him your position. They get to you there. And then allow him to finish a doggy style. That's what he wants. But it seems weird to me that that's all he wants to do. But I think he's just not experienced, perhaps. Probably not. I actually read. I was reading he's just not experienced, perhaps. Probably not.

I actually read, I was reading an ask. This is Madison, by the way. Yeah, hi, hi, hi everybody. Yeah, I was reading a Dr. Ruth like Q&A and someone was like, oh my boy, if I only want to do a doggy style, she goes, maybe he's gay. Oh, no way.

That's like the worst thing that, that's like in a girl's like, worst case scenario. That's like from Dr. Ruth. Yeah, it was like, if he could only do it from behind and like whenever she'd like try to Insight and like or initiate it from like the front okay, Madison you just freaking rock Jen's world I'm not saying I don't I don't think That's it. I just thought that that was really really doesn't know anything. I thought that was really funny. I don't yeah no Yeah, no, because Dr. Ruth is like you know, she's's the one that like, he lights me, he lights me gay, you might want to check that out.

Yeah, she was like, I don't know what's going on in his head, but that could be it. And I was like, oh, wait a hitter where it hurts, Dr. Ruth. It's interesting. That's interesting. Okay, Jen, I didn't say Dr. Ruth had blamed her, but just, you know, here's the, he should be concerned about your pleasure, not his.

That's my, that's like the bottom line here, is that guys know they're gonna get off. Women's bodies, you have to learn to how to please and you have to learn how to please yourself. And any guy who's not concerned about your orgasm and how do you get off also makes me pause, gives me reason to pause. Okay, dear Emily, hey, I'm, love for the moment,

it's like we're BFF. I'm a 20-year-old man and I've been single my whole life. I've asked out many girls and I'm trying to do the nice guy approach. I look at way many boyfriends that treat them like crap. I can't bring myself to do that. To give you an idea, I would have been going out with been going on. I had a girl that I was seeing for a few weeks and I took her to the roof of the student center on campus. We shared a special romantic moment, but then she stopped coming around. The next thing I heard of her, she turned lesbian, and she wasn't the first guy I've been with, that's been

become lesbian since I've gotten to know him. Do I need to get more aggressive with women to get them to date me? So what does that look like? And why, oh why are so many girls becoming lesbian? Thank you Phil. Well Phil, I don't think that you need to be more aggressive, more aggressive, and I don't think that you are turning them into lesbians. It just sounds like your picker's off. The women that you're picking are not necessarily the woman you want to be with, but it could also be that you are

coming off as a nice guy. And when you start off, like the friend guy, like a friend, like you want to be their friend, maybe you offer to help them with something, which a lot of guys do to connect with them. And they're like, oh, I'll show you my, whatever, you sound bored, Emily, come over. Guys often want to do things for you. But then when, that's okay to do that, it's a great entry.

Like, hey, give me a number, I'll send you that article. Like guys do that all the time, I'll send you that piece. But then you got to escalate it. Then you got to let it be known that this is not a casual for, like I'm interested in you. And how do you do that? You got to put off the sexual energy. If you take them out, maybe you lightly touch them on the arm.

Like, there's ways to let them know that you're not in the friend zone. And so you got to approach them and let them know up front. And I'm not saying you got to be aggressive, but just be confident and be direct. Don't have like an ambiguous stroll up to the rooftop and then try to kiss her when she's already thinking your friends. Make it known that it's a date and you're not just hanging out. You gotta flirt, you gotta put out that sexual energy,

put her arm around her, let her know so she's not like, oh, is he a friend? Cause he's changing my tires right now. I'm not sure. I'm putting your in my tires. What's that not to do? And you might as well, I mean, I know girls kind of follow it, but you've made it known to women.

Yeah, I mean, I used to be really, really shy. So, and then also, again, guys can't pick up on if a girl likes them or not. So you get caught in that red zone. A lot of guys don't feel like I can't tell. I wish women would be more aggressive and just put it out there because that would make it much easier.

I know, you're right. And girls that are in their head trip in the, yeah, I like them. No, there was like in the past, they're like, oh no, you can't let a guy know that you like them. They have, the guys like to thrill the chase. No, they don't.

They don't like to thrill the chase. They like to know that you like them. And it makes it way more comfortable. Right. No, I think you're right. And I think that is an old message because if you're dating a guy and you're like, oh, he wants to play games, or I have to pretend I don't like him because there are guys, maybe they're younger guys who like like the affirmation and they like the conquest. Like, I want to say, many girls can like me and they kind of play the game because maybe they're not ready to commit or they're like, quest, like I wanna see how many girls can like me. And they kinda play the game because maybe they're not ready to commit or they're like, oh, like she likes you.

Well now that I got her, I'm gonna be an asshole or whatever, like there are certain guys like that. And you think you gotta play cool? He is a douchebag, you lose him. If you meet someone that you like, like there's nothing wrong with, like I mean, you don't wanna come on to aggressive, like, you know, as a woman or a man,

but there's a way to be like, hey, I'm into this. Because if your friends with someone, you can't see friends with or a man, but there's a way to be like, hey, I'm into this. Because if you're friends with someone, you can't see friends with them if you do have an attraction. Like, it's gonna come out at some point. And that whole BS, like, oh, it'll ruin our friendship. Your friendship's already done a friendship

because you want to sleep with them. So say something, do it. Right? No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, low job deal breaker. How's about this? Dear Emily, I'm a desperate need of help. I just can't go down on my man anymore.

I love giving head. I've perfected it to a fine art and have been told by previous partners that I'm great at it. But him? Oh no. All he wants to do is literally fuck my face. I don't know if you're wearing the show but whatever. I'm very, I would feel very useless. My jaw is aching. I nearly suffocate for air on this Polish kivasa. Awesome. I've tried holding the man's hips, going on top, pinning that effort down, placing my hand on the shaft as he removes it. He really sucks the fun out of it, pun intended. I kind of feel like I'm walking F-doll. I want to have him lose himself, but at that moment I'm done, exhausted fighting with the choking and the throwing up. Jesus Christ sounds bad. It is very tiring and man, am I trying to take one for the team.

Police help. He's a good guy. She actually spelled it that way. I just can't deal, man. He's very adamant of that face-epping. Help me improve so he can be persuaded not to do that. Thanks, love. Not Vicki.

Telling him to do something that he likes to do. Okay, this is not, dude, that is not acceptable. He's hurting her and she's throwing up. Then, he's leaving this ass thing. Leave this ass thing. The F, if you don't like it, just go. I wonder if she said anything though. Like a blowjob is a freaking gift.

It's like bring them in flowers. Oh, okay. Seriously, no, I'm saying like, he's pounding that gift on your throat, like in hand and roll. He's not appreciating you at all. And it sounds like you know your way around a good blowjob, you've gotten good feedback. And listen, if he's into deep, it sounds like he just wants a deep throat, whatever.

And he's, but his problem is with deep throating, you can use your hand, because your hand is great and you can like go down and use your hand, but he's removing her hand. And so I know you've tried it but I'd recommend only performing oral with him lying back on the bed and you straddling him which gives you control. And also if he starts holding your head, grabbing your hand, you stop it. You say you keep your hands, you know, there is a no hand rule here.

And ask him to let you show him your way of doing things. Because if he can't handle that, he's not going to be receiving any blow dives in the future. But does she say she's talked to him about it? No. She removed his hand, but she hasn't talked to him about it because people don't talk about that. I'll just be straight up. You like, you like, babe, like, but can he see her like throwing up? Yeah. There's a gag reflex. I'm upset here. This sounds like a abuse to me. It's pretty bad. But it's also Vicki.

It's on you for not confronting. I'm just saying to make it playful. Don't be like, hey, we gotta talk about the blowjob. Like any sex conversation, it doesn't have to be super serious. You can be like, babe, listen, I have a treat for you tonight. I'm gonna give you a blowjob the way that I'm gonna do it and you just lay back and have fun. And like, see what it does. If he starts like trying to do the whole shoving,

choking, head pushing thing, then you can get more like, babe, listen, that actually, that's painful, that hurts, and I'm gonna show you how I do it. Like, how would you wanna be told that you were doing something wrong and bad, Mattis? Just tell me. So I made a freaking painful.

How in all these games and oh being sensitive. How long I want to listen to that? Yeah, that would not last for long for me. Me neither. I'm not good at like putting my feelings aside. He was like, I want to blowjob. I'd be like, can you control yourself? Okay then, bye.

Right, exactly. Like this sounds actually borderline abusive and I get that you like this guy. And as a woman, we're pleasers and I get that she's like, I've been told I'm really good before so she's probably thinking, well, I really like him and I'm not you like this guy. And as a woman, we're pleasers. And I get that she's like, I've been told I'm really good before. So she's probably thinking, well, I really like them. I'm not as good maybe, or he needs this. But you are suffering. You're taking one from more than a team.

You're taking one from the entire freaking football team here. Yeah. Oh, geez. Okay, dating tips for what we can say. No, no, I'm just excited. Yeah, very excited. Dating tips for single dad. Hey, I'm love this show.

I'm a 28 year old single father. And I'm always so busy with work. And my daughter that I hardly have any time to go out and date or find potential females date. I know you're going to say the internet, but I tried the whole Tinder dating sites and no luck. Seems that all the girls are really, really young or just not my thing.

Any advice will help. Thank you and your great Cole Austin. Cole Austin? What? Okay listen. You can be there at a grocery store. You can. I met guys at a grocery store.

Whole Foods over the mountains. What? I used to meet guys. I don't go to Whole Foods much anymore. But yeah. Whole Foods in Los Angeles below balls. Yeah. They're so big and massive and like.

Why? There's old. I'm so used to from North of California. is below balls. Yeah, they're so big and massive and like, why? They're just old. They're just not, I'm so used to, from North of California, they're all brand new, clean. Here, oh my God, they have this like worse, it's like dumps. I know. But they, I'm all about sprouts now.

Sprouts is amazing. You're eating greens? Yeah. Oh no, no, sprouts is like a place. Oh. Yeah, it's like whole foods, but way cheaper even cheaper than They they don't have any when I moved here from Orange County I was like wait there aren't any sprouts the nearest one is in like Burbank. Yeah, and I live near Burbank

Yeah, they're really fun. I know so good. I like trainer Joe's You get a ton of food for like 20 bucks Dude, I don't think the people in the lady's sprouts. I want okay So first off this and call I would not write off the whole online day on a food for like 20 bucks. And it's good stuff. Why don't they think that people in a lightning sprouts? I want it. Okay. So first off, listen, cool. I would not write off the whole online dating thing because Tinder didn't work. Tinder is good for some people who are on the phone

all the time and it's like just face dating. But there are sites that people still go on like, how about we that's been a great review? Coffee meets bagel is another one. We're about this new, a new one. We'll hang on later time. Well, hinges also would, I'm sweating. Get at least, there's like people in common and stuff like that.

That's true. Hand just like Tinder, but you have to have a Facebook friend in common. So I would say that online dating, not like Tinder, would give you more time to really craft your message and all that. But if you don't have time to go out, like what about when you are just out? So are you on your cell phone or your eyes open? Because whether you're at the gym, the supermarket, the park with your daughter, I'm guarantee

you there's other single moms there, an outdoor concert. You know, I just think that people always say they can't meet people, they can't meet people. And how open are you to meet people when you are out, when you're pumping gas, there could be someone hot next to you. Like we often are not paying attention to our surroundings because there's single people everywhere. And if you're uncomfortable approaching people, you can just say hi. You can just be like, hey, how's your day going?

You know, like whatever, it doesn't mean but practice it because then you'll get more confident. And I like if someone does this, like it's not, it doesn't bother me. So if I was feels speed dating dating, like literally I've done that years ago, I did speed dating and it's cool because you meet people, it's definitely a time saver. And you could like leave with 10 women's phone numbers in a night. You move around. It's good practice too for just like a three minute

conversation. I think that social media has done other than you know, kill relationships. It also has made it a little more comfortable to get somebody's information. Instead of just straight, I know like you're dying inside asking somebody for their phone number, and then you play this whole thing that you tag back and forth. And they're like, oh, you know, oh, do you have Instagram, you know, you just, you get their username.

And then you, and I'm following each other other and you get to know each other just a little bit. Don't get to know each other too much online because then it makes it super hard. Not Facebook friends the right way. Yeah, yeah. And then or like a Twitter name or something like that. And then that's how you communicate. And then the number comes along. It makes it a little bit more easy. Exactly. That's a great, that's a great point. Yeah. You build up that way. I think that is a great point. Get their top thing. Straight up asking for somebody's number these days.

That's kind of weird. A little weird these days. Right, maybe you could be like, oh, whatever you're talking about, and be like, are you on Instagram? Or I was thinking that I was just taking pictures here of the melons and hopefully, is that you're on Instagram?

You're fun. They're already making an excuse to look at your own Instagram. And be like, oh, you know, I was traveling through the Caribbean one time. Oh, there was this, you gotta see this photo of this thing. Oh, are you on Instagram? Oh, let me follow you, but we're all done. Or is your talk wasn't in common?

Wait, easier than saying, oh, hey, can I have your number? Right, exactly. Like I'm in a guy recently, yeah, what was that? Yeah, and then you call them and then they don't know your number and then they don't pick up and then, do you leave a message or, you know. People don't even leave messages. Yeah, you don't even leave. I actually had a moment last week was like I just want to bring back the goddamn voicemail because I can't

stand when I'm dating someone or making plans to go on a date with someone and it's like texting, texting, texting back and forth. It's like this is going out for two hours because then they want to get flirty and like can we just make a plan and I'll see you like to Friday night like I just I just want to call and say something. Cause the voicemail though, I haven't, uh, you didn't get them anymore, right? No, I, the past 10 years of, uh, being in, uh, a radio station and have my own office, I have never set up the voicemail once.

So like if I'm not there and I don't pick up, it doesn't get a voicemail. Well, that's a lot of good to do now. I don't even set it up. But, um, the other thing I was gonna say, why did I say a voicemail is that, oh's a lot of you to do now. I don't even set it up. But the other thing I was gonna say, why did I say a voicemail is that, oh, I met a guy recently and he was really cute. We had a party and he was interesting.

We were talking for a while. And I said that I was talking about something about sex video. He was, oh, I got to meet this really cool video that was kind of like whatever it was. And he got my email, set me the video, started chatting, going on a date. Yes, see. It was that kind of thing.

Like you find a comic, guys would be doing that forever. But I think when I was younger, I didn't realize, I thought they really want to help me, but no, you really want to do anything, that's cool. So do something like that. Okay, time for another email. All right.

Hi, Emily, you're the best. Love the podcast, love Kegel Camp, and you're a candle. I guess I'm a groupie. I love that. I'm been happily married, thank you. For 20 years, we have a great sex life. We do everything to keep it interesting. Recently, my husband had the fancy of watching me

with another man. This does nothing for me. Actually, it makes me sad. I know he loves me and just wants to mix it up. I see it as the beginning of the end. You would say we married to young. I don't think so. It's just something that there is in too.

I don't know. She says you would say we married to young 25., I don't think so. It's just something that they're in. Is it into? I don't know. She says, you would say we married to young 25. Don't know if I should enter this world. We do talk and says he doesn't want me to do anything. I'm not comfortable with their turn on by it. Do I just send him on his way? I honestly wouldn't be happy and satisfied.

I say you're not in for 20 years. We tell him that you're not in to it and then we move on to the next thing. Done. That is story. Yeah, I mean, you're saying sentiment is weird.. That you're not into it, and then you move on to the next thing. Done. That is story. Yeah, I mean, you're saying something that's weird. I hope you're not talking about divorce,

because he's just bringing up something he wants to try, and I get it's got cuckolding, actually, when you watch him, your wife with another man, and some guys do have fetishes for this. It kind of can be a fetish or a sexual proclivity that's really intense. And you're lucky that he wants to mix things up

and get adventurous, and it's not uncommon, but a lot of guys do feel charged when they see their partner with another guy. And so I don't think it's the end. I mean, I'm curious, like, first of all, I get why you wouldn't be comfortable with it. But other things that you would be comfortable with. Are there other things that you have in wanting to try it? Or is it like he keeps bringing it? Because you know the guy is like with three,

so I'm like, when we have a three-sum, when we have a three-sum, like that can be annoying. So if he's bringing it up for 20 years, but she said he recently brought it up, right? So recently. So I don't think that it's the end. I mean, if you're not comfortable with it, you're not. I would just really like talk out why you're not into it

and let them know where you're coming from. And it could be the start of other fantasies. He might be like, okay, well, I really let's go to sex club together and have sex in public and have other people watch us. Maybe it'd be into that. That happens all the time, not all the time, but in my world it does. It does actually. You could also roleplay. I know people. Did you, sorry to interrupt, Did you hear Kate Milton's friend as started sex parties in New York City? No, yeah.

Sex parties, just like, yeah, they're like different locations. Where people just have, yeah, this public sex site. Yeah, they're here too, yeah. Yeah, but it's pretty crazy. And I guess I was also seeing a Howard Stern and one of the Howard Stern guys went to him. Oh, were they safe? And he's like, they're like, it's ridiculous.

It's nothing but super hot women and just, you know, normal looking guys. No guys that are super models or anything like that. But you do have to pay a few again. The girls are hot? The girls are super hot. Yeah. So it's crazy.

Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of stuff like that. I don't know if she says they've experimented. I mean, there are, there's like, FET life, and there's other websites that you can find like where these parties go on. They just go to sex toy store. They don't go to one. But also, the other thing is that people always laugh at this.

But this has totally worked for me and like a married friend who's been married for 15 years. She did this too. Roll playing, be a sexy stranger. Like, talk about it in the act. Like, you know, he might wanna say that I imagine you're with another guy right now and you could be like, yeah, he's really hot.

I mean, you guys could talk dirty, like talk through the snow when you have sex. Or just like, you know, pretend you're someone else. My friend did the whole thing like, met her husband at a bar and pretended they didn't know each other. And at first you might giggle and laugh. But again, it's like, you're having sex with someone else.

It's like sexy stranger. It feels like it's new. And I'm telling you, sex should be part of your job and the relationship to spice it up. It should be part of your priority, your requirement. And it sounds like you guys are doing good, and I don't think you should leave. Remember when I was super drunk

and I was having sex with some chicken I called you while I was having sex? Oh my God, I totally forgot about that. Menace, I wish I reported it. Oh my God, yeah. Dude, how'd you remember? I was joking. I just having sex. Oh my God, I totally forgot about that. Menace, I wish I could put it out. Oh my God, yeah. Dude, how'd you remember? I was, okay. I just remember because the whole like guy,

it was a hook of the wife and stuff like that and somebody watching us. Oh my God, I was literally driving in San Francisco like 11 o'clock in the Saturday night. And you're like, menace, menace? I was like, wasted. He was wasted, he called me because you don't think I have sex or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause I was like, you don't have sex. And then he called me and he was like getting a blow. He was having, I like said, they're in listen to men as have sex. Yes. And the girl down the phone. Yeah. But you didn't send pictures.

But how do I know wasn't just no. That was hilarious. Like, I love men as first of all, we should go back and listen to 2000 podcasts if we had 2000s for hours. Yeah, always saying. There are so many great friggin moments because I forgot about that. And that was hysterical.ical like you literally just called me I'm like, it was menace. That's weird and yeah, that was a great moment in my life

Do you have a look at the girls? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember Okay, and she was cool and she's like, hey, what's up? And then you went back and I mean text and eventually it's hung up because I'm busy Like okay, I got it. I heard menace bang. That was good. What else have we done? You were funny. We've done crazy stuff, but not enough. We're in LA now. We got to go crazy.

I think it's time for our good year. Awesome. I love you menace. Find them at menace everywhere. I'm a NAC. Yes. Also, I would live for you if you followed me on Twitter and Instagram because I post fun pictures and stuff like that and we're looking for and Instagram and Twitter

Oh, in Facebook slash sex family because our Facebook page is gets a lot of action. Talk about getting an action. Oh, yeah It gets a lot of friggin action people love it We share things we give interesting stories I I also give lots of quotes and I write lots of articles and you just if you're a reader you want to read some shit check it out We also need interns. I email me feedback at sexwithmme.com. We are looking for marketing, production, internship, video, editing, all that fun stuff.

And season to writers, if you're a section relationship writer, email us. And I love you all. So thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? email me feedback at sexwithmme.com. Okay, everyone. It's masturbation month and time to upgrade your home masturbation plan, especially if you're

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