Sex With Emily - Dating, Mating & Roleplaying

Episode Date: December 27, 2018

On today’s show, Emily is taking calls to help you make 2019 the hottest year yet. She goes over some of the oddest dating stats of 2018 – from dealbreakers to masturbation injuries, ways to get into your role-play groove, and why taking a break from porn and masturbation can reignite your sex life with your partner. Plus, whether or not age makes a difference in your relationship. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Womanizer, Just Fab, SiriusXM Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemily For even more sex advice, tips & tricks, visit: sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm taking calls to help you make 2019 the hottest deer yet. Topics include the hottest dating stats of 2018 from dealbreakers to masturbation injuries. Getting you into your roleplay groove, whether or not age makes a difference in your relationship, and while taking a break from porn and masturbation can reignite your sex life with your partner. All this and more, thanks for listening. You got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hairpin. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way?

What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. I'm so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between for more information. Check out sexwithendly.com. All the great things we have going on there to help you have better sex. You can easily comment, subscribe on iTunes. We love when you do that. You can check out our podcast, Everywhere You Listen to Podcasts, and also check me out on serious sex and radio stars channel 109. I am there weekdays 5 to 7 p.m. Pacific 8 to 10 East and it's

been an amazing ride if you guys check it out and serious if you want if you don't have serious get a free 30 day trial visit sexwithnly.com slash SXM or just calling and ask your questions at those times because I am there taking your calls AAA9478277. You can find me in social media everywhere at Sex with Emily across the board. I'm there. You're there. It's a great time. We came across this in article and we thought it was interesting and kind of hilarious. So I talk about a lot of the show I talk about tips and tricks and little things how to make your relationships better and of course your sex life because they're all related.

But sometimes there's things that just catch our eye and we're like, huh, this is kind of hilarious and interesting and illuminating and insightful. And maybe you'll turn you on. No, who knows. I just threw that in. But, okay, this was the WTF dating and relationship stats of 2018, like weird. Like actually weird? Like actually, like really like there's a lot of things I'm like, yeah I've heard it all.

But these are like, welcome to America. Like this is what's happening. Especially right now. I know exactly, right? So here we go. 37% of singles found it unattract track if to steal a neighbor's internet. Seems like a funny deal, Breaker, no? Now, let me tell you something.

What does that say about someone? If I met someone's house at this point in my life and they're still stealing the neighbor's internet, like how much is a internet now? I mean, it depends on how fast you want it to be, but for something that we're on all the time, you would, it's like, you know. You know, still your near was car when you got to

a 7-Eleven, you got to go figure out, or you take the bus, right? Or like you figure out another way. You do, I mean, it's like, I think, I don't know, for right now, like I pay like I think like 50 bucks a month, but I have like three roommates, so it's like $12 a month for internet.

It's not a very near neighborly thing to do. Right, no I get it though, but I'm just like roommates. So it's like $12 a month for internet. It's not a very neighborly thing to do. Right. No, I get it though, but here's a thing. Well, no, I used to split with my roommate in San Francisco, the woman across the hall, but then I paid her 10 bucks a month. So I get it, you guys, times are tough, it's expensive, but if I was at someone's house

to like take my neighbors internet. Yeah, like, well, what would you say? Like, if you came across this like wire. Yes, I think in my life. It's like a wire going out the window. You think you gotta stand closer to the front door. Is that okay? Like right now.

I wouldn't be cool with that. I love the deal breaker conversation. I'm always like, what are you? Like do people have weird deal breakers? Like it's funny. What would turn someone else's, you know, what is it? Someone else's trash, pleasure, trash,

lover's in treasure? Well, that's the funniest thing because that's actually my Instagram bio is one man's trashes and the man's treasure. Because I always refer to myself as like a garbage human being. I know, which I never liked that because right. It's not, okay, it's like self-depreciating, but it's not like I actually have a very high opinion

of myself. I know you do. It trips people out, which I think is why I do it the most. But me and my roommate were in my best friend. We just say it all the time, like, oh, yeah, I don't want to have a garbage night. I'm like, oh, we're just garbage for human trash. And then it's like, don't say that about yourself. I'm like, no, I love myself, but I'm garbage. I don't like it anymore.

I get it, but moving on. She's this beautiful human, but I get it. You're funny, like, thing with your friend. Okay, 11% of men Wanted to date someone more Like they were excited more after being ghosted by them if you all know what ghosting means Ghosting means sound familiar to anyone you go on a date. Mm-hmm things are amazing. You're like, oh my god We kissed it was with this connection

Maybe it was the one. I don't want to get too crazy, but we had quite a night. And then poof You never hear from again ghosted And I mean and then you get ghosted and these guys what's only 11% but they're like yes that makes you one or more Is it that whole you got to play game thing? It's still believe in that? Yeah, it's like the chase. It's the, also for me, I guess, I don't know. Like I would definitely be like, you ghost me, you ghost me, you can, you know,

go haunt someone else, but I mean, it's maybe trying to figure out like why it is. It's more of like, oh, but why don't they like me? It's like you have to convince someone. Because we all want to be liked and loved. Like I guess everyone's deepest, greatest fear. Like most of the problems you have, you roll them all back,

you're gonna go to our fear of not being loved and being abandoned for many of us. Like we all want to be lovable. So in some way that speaks to that, like you're not gonna, like there's, or I want to find out the truth, or you know, it makes you want you more.

We want what we can't have. Yeah. I say to that, someone goes to me like I, I'm out. Like I don't need more of that. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Like this person, my favorite Maya Angelou quote. If someone shows you who they are, believe them.

So that's a great relationship thing to live by too. If you're dating someone, maybe a few times, things have happened. You're like, it's weird though, because let's say your deal breaker is someone who, this is gonna be benign, let's say, but they're late. You are a super on time person, but every time, no, are they late,

but whether one of those, you're so late, you missed the movie, or they were late picking you up from an important event, or you said, and you're, that's who they are. Like people don't change unless they want to change. So someone shows you who they are, believe the F out of them. Okay.

Which one do you like next, James? Okay, I think that this is interesting. 74% of couples bought a brand new mattress when they began their relationship. And the reason why I think it's interesting is it doesn't say when they move in together. It says when they began their relationship. So I wonder if there's a distinction there.

Because I'm like, if I just got a new boyfriend, I'm not gonna get rid of my mattress. I love my mattress. That's true. Is there some kind of like graveyard of like ditched mattresses somewhere? Is there's like a graveyard of sad mattresses? There is.

You're gonna afford to buy a new mattress. I think there is something to the like whole fun show. And my friend got divorced and she had a bedroom and one of our friends in San Francisco, of course, she was like the gypsy with all the like fung shway sexual healing person came in and says, no, if you were in this with your ex, you have to get rid of every piece of furniture in your bedroom and the mattress and start over and stuff. But couples, I don't know, it's good for the mattress business, I guess.

Good for the mattress business. But they're couples. So does it mean they both want one of them? If I think if you move in with someone, though, you shouldn't push up the mattress from the old place. You should. You think you should get anyone? Yeah. I do. I actually agree with that. But what if you have like just such a great mattress? You can buy it again. And it depends how long you've had it. Like I've only had mine a year. Like if it was last year, I wasn't any time to sex this year more so I could see it. And I would you guys think about this, mattress decisions.

But mattress is just matter. If you go to someone's house with my old things, I go to someone. Like it's not that I want to throw out their mattress, actually want to throw out their bedding. Cause some guys, and maybe women too, I'm saying, but you got to invest in your bedding.

This is just a sign note. It's a good dating tip too. Like your bedding. No more starchies, cheats that don't match and stuff like that. Because we're sleeping at, we say in our bed. So that's important. Important. Very important.

OK. Married people living in Montana, North Dakota, and Nebraska searched the most frequently for sex toys online. I wonder if it's because there's not a lot of sex toys there. Sex toys first. I thought you were gonna say I wonder if it's because there's not a lot of things to do. That too, I don't know, but I think because there's probably here we walk out, there's sex toys store.

We've got a sex store basically in our office, closet. But that's interesting too. So I'm glad that they're looking for sex toys everywhere though, so that's good. Maybe there's less stores around. Let's say just said. Yeah. They've probably had a lot of stores in North Dakota. Although if I'm wrong, let me know. Okay, let's see. Oh, 29% of singles found it more attractive if their date had an iPhone, blue messages, or your legit a cop. I just think of it.

Oh, they've got green messages if you said someone and they're not. Well, that's why it's saying it says blue messages or- Or your legit a cop, right? Yeah. Yeah. I see that, but I feel like I feel like it is sort of a younger hip thing to have an iPhone, but would you judge on it?

I mean, I wouldn't judge on it. One, I'm the only person in my family that has an iPhone. Everyone else has a Galaxy. Now I'm judging your family, though. Okay, just kidding. No, but I think it's just funny that somehow society has conditioned us to think that people that don't have an iPhone are somehow lesser humans.

I agree. I think that's horrible. And to be honest with you, I appreciated Steve Jobs and all his work in the phones, but I think since he died, may him rest in peace, that the phones are not what we thought they were. I feel like there's a lot of problems with them and I haven't tried a droid phone a long time,

Android, I'd say, but it's been a little bit of a loss. You get so used to it. I have everything in front of me as Apple, don't get me wrong, don't get angry, I haven't used a PC in years, I'm just saying. Sometimes I'm like, is this really that great? The problems, the new laptops, you brought that up problems. It's the user interface.

I think that's just far right now. Right, okay. It's like so much easier to use, I think all got problems. It's the user interface. They call it genus far right now. Right, okay. It's like so much easier to use, I think, just because we're so used to it. Like, I had it when I use Windows 8, I'm like, what is going on? Yeah, how do I get? It is true what we're used to, right?

That was the thing, yeah. Well, yeah, and it's just they mass produced them more and we've been told they're better, so I don't know. Make your own decisions. Okay, people in Alaska were the most likely to be catfished. L-O-L-L-B-E. That's hilarious. Yeah.

More fish? More catfish? More actual catfish. Less people. Less people. They're like someone's calling and they're really friendly on the phone and they've got something to sell me. Do you think they have more online relationships?

Maybe it's like cold or inside. Yeah, I don't know. I don't want to leave my bed, but I want to date you. Yeah, because most cat fishing is dating stuff. So that's interesting. If you're in Alaska, though, this is a public service announcement, watch out for those phone calls. Have you been getting a lot of those weird calls lately,

like spam calls? I'm getting a ton of them. Anyone else, like, I got one today so that I was going to prison for some, like spam calls. I'm getting a ton of them. Anyone else, like, I got one today so that I was going to prison for some, or not prison. It said I was, it was like, it barely made sense, but it was like, if you don't answer this call, something bad's gonna happen and we're gonna come fight.

And then like I got three calls today, messages, weird thing, not about me, not about me doing something wrong. Yeah, but that's crazy. I am very legal. I know, it's crazy. That was scary, that's like not even cool. Now I'm just sharing all this with you. Okay, so here's this other thing. Don't so don't call me. Okay, unless yeah, just don't call. Okay, one in three men preferred to be the little spoon.

Switch up your cartel shafts. Sash that. I little spoon. I'll be the little spoon when I'm dating. Hmm. I'm in a relationship. Do you have a little spoon? Do you have to come the big spoon? Yeah, all the time. I think it's good to like mix and match it. Because also I can't lay on one side for too long. I have to, you gotta flip it around. Turn around. Here you go.

Yeah. We got. Okay, this is hilarious. The top three deal breakers in LA were number one, practicing Scientology, number two, crashing on someone else's couch and Three carrying a small dog in your purse Seems fair I want a small dog I can carry my purse though

But these are like the mo like I mean the maybe the crashing of someone else's couch one isn't but the first the the Scientology and like carrying a small dog in your purse are just so stereotypical. I think that's what people think LA is. Yeah, when they think of LA, they think everyone's in Scientology with their little yappy dogs. Have you ever met a Scientologist? Not directly. I'm sure I have, but I've never like had a conversation

with them about it. Have you, it's right there, the whole Scientology. No, I mean, I've never. I haven't. I did go through a museum once and it was this cool Like it was like this psychiatric museum of death and it was like kind of really cool And then at the end it was like the some Scientology thing. I was like, oh you just ruined the whole last hour Yeah, I don't know much but here's a thing about crashing someone says else's couch

And again, I was in my 20s I mean people did that stuff but recent recent years one of my best friend Lisa in Chicago She calls me and she's like, I've got the best pie fears ago. She's like, I got the best guy for you. He's so great. He's visiting LA. He's just moved to LA. What she say a year ago and your love on the desk, we go for drinks because I'm like, she

have best friend. We go out and he's like, oh yeah, I don't, I don't only have a job. I'm sleeping on a friend's couch. I don't know what I'm doing in my life. And I get it. I've been there, but in your fort. At least, so why do you think he's the perfect match right now?

Sleeping on the couch. She's like, oh, you're right. I didn't ask him what he's doing. This is the deal with that. It's not that so much I sleep in the couch. It's when you're single and your friends are like, oh, I have a single friend. Your single, like my married friends, like, well, then you obviously must be great together because you your both single.

Let's do some d... little more deep diving. Does he have a job? Yeah like there's... At least I coulda asked him what he's doing in LA. There's gotta be more like things you guys haven't common. Right but there's not things. He's just being single. Right.

Like literally you could go deeper. Thank you. Your favorite color is red? This person's favorite color is red. Oh literally you could go deeper. Thank you. Your favorite color is red? This person's favorite color is red. Oh, you're so mean. It doesn't matter. You both like colors. You should have kids.

You should have red and blue babies. Okay. My mom did that for years and we just had to go. I met Barbara, brought the gym and her son just moved to San Francisco and he's single two the gym and her son just moved to San Francisco and he's single too, you should go out with him. Like, well, I'm not meeting all your friends' kids who moved to San Francisco.

Okay, so here's this. Another one, Denver was the thirstiest city in America. Like, apparently they all just wanna get laid in Denver. Denver's thriving now. You've never been in Denver. So, no, I gave a speech to this year, but it was for two minutes. So I barely remember, but yes,

I didn't spend a lot of time there. Beautiful city. No, I gave a speech to this year, but it was for two minutes. So I barely remember, but yes, I didn't spend a lot of time there. Beautiful city. Yeah, I think so. Lots of, everyone's so nice. Everyone is nice. So that's kind of funny to me that they don't actually want relationships just because everyone that I met

was just like such a nice person. And the only people that annoyed me, I overheard their conversation and they were from California. Oh, see? Were they tagged with their Scientologists? No. No, but they had small dogs in person.

They did have small dogs everywhere. Okay, this is interesting. 22% of singles use their partners toothbrush, and 76% never told their partner. Note to self, always keep a spare one around. Okay, here's my thing. This is like the kind of stuff that doesn't surprise me. Given that we are so, don't have anything right?

Like here we're getting people to say you know what? Here's how I want you to touch my left breast my right breast, her one of orgasm. This is kind of the same thing like I don't want to be intimate and ask you for your toothbrush. I'm just going to like not tell you this thing it's gross. I don't know what that's about. Let's just be honest with everything. Yeah, the signifies to me that they know it's gross. I don't know what that's about. Let's just be honest with everything. Yeah, the signifies to me that they know it's gross. But they were weighing the pros and cons.

Do I not brush my teeth, or do I use my partner's tooth brush? True, that's good. I say just always just swish with some toothpaste. Yeah, I kind of feel like not brushing your teeth is actually more sanitary than using your partner's teeth brush. Totally great with you. I'm down with that. Yeah. We're really actually learning a lot here.

Okay, 30% of women snooped in their partner's undead drawers. Nothing to see here. That's interesting. I mean, I don't know what... If you men would keep in there besides underwear. Oh, I've done this. Funny you should have. Funny like this. Well I want to act.

Yeah, in San Francisco we dated for years and it was so funny because he still went on in a home with my ex. It's dear friend, but we used to go and he just had all of his, it wasn't in his dresser, but he happened to have, oh this happened with another guy too. Okay, this is a pattern, guys, ready? If you're this dude, call me because I think it's a guy too. Okay, this is a pattern, guys, ready? If you're this dude, calm me, because I think it's a guy thing. He had a drawer where he kept, like, underwear or, like, jewelry that all the other women he's been with have left at his house, like, an earring or a necklace or a thing, like, first of all, they're going to come back one day, like,

hi, we slept together in 2007, my gold hoop.. Like why did you have them? Have you seen my gold hoop? And that like really I can think of now two to three. And it was drawers. It was like, and they were both totally different guys. One was an LA boyfriend. What was the San Francisco boyfriend? And they kept it.

Is it like their badge of honor? Like I got these treasures here. You know, like a notch on the bad post, but it's really like panties or a bra. That's weird Halloween costume. We're in half of a costume. So you did with your date of mermaid last year. I just found her tail. Do you think that that's, I mean, no, it wouldn't be them, it wouldn't be the equivalent to keeping like a guy's sweatshirt, right? Because at least it's like, okay, why?

Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, I do. I see been sweatshirt. So that's just kind of weird, because I don't even want to keep my underwear. Like, yeah, you know, like around like I just, what? I wear the sweatshirt. Yeah, I do. I sleep in sweatshirts. No, that's just kind of weird, because I don't even want to keep my underwear. Like, yeah, you know, like around. Like, I just, I don't know. You think you just throw it away. You know what I mean? Like, underwear gets hurt anyway. Oh, you know what?

Actually, speaking of this, so a long time ago, I had this person that I was hooked up with regularly. And one night, for whatever, I could not find my underwear. I'm like, where is, I don't know. So I was like, whatever, that's fine. Like over a year later, like after we completely stopped talking to each other,

he sends me a picture saying that he found the underwear somewhere randomly. And in my mind, he's just like, do you want it back? I'm like, throw it away. It's been on the corner of your room for like a year and secondly, I do not believe for a fucking second that you just found that. Right.

Well, I was trying to circle back to you. Was it thirsty? No, I was in Jamie. I think it was one of those things where it was just like, you know, guys randomly like chicks underwear and smell them and stuff. Maybe, maybe that's it, but it wasn't just under a right. Well, that was, I guess, oh, I just had another memory.

Ready? Yeah. They're all coming and pushing back in. I broke up with this guy and he, and you know me with my vibrators. I was spending a lot of time in his house just years ago and I one day got a package and he had wrapped up, it was like the magic wand,

like five or six toys, lubes, he'd wrapped them all up in paper, like newspaper, all my toys and shipped them back to me. Which I thought was kind of nice and weird. Like I get it that it was like in a package and I'm unwrapping, unwrapping all the toys and shipped them back to me. Which I thought was kind of nice and weird. Like I get it that it was like in a package and I'm unwrapping, unwrapping all the toys. At least I got them back. And I thought that was a pretty touch

to them and unwrapped them. I thought that was interesting. All right, we're gonna take a quick break when we come back onto your calls. What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up?

What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? Alright, Matt in Dallas, 28, he was a past caller who was on his way to a date with his husband. They're going to pretend they are swingers. Matt! Yay! Hi, Matt!

Hi Emily! Oh my god, Matt. I'm so excited because the other night you were like, ah, we're not going to roleplay. Tell me everything. This is amazing. This is amazing. Talk to you. So we're on our way to a wine bar. And he's already there.

And we talked about last night. I actually ordered two candles last night too. I'm so glad you didn't. Massage candles, great. And I'm kind of freaking out on my way there. I'm like, I don't know how I'm going to do this. This is someone I'm married to. Okay, deep breaths.

We're not texting. We're not trying to build it up or anything or anything like that. Okay, so tell me the scenario. So you're doing role play. You're going to pretend you're strangers or that you just met for the first time. We're pretend like we're strangers.. We're 10 like we're strangers. We're all playing like we're strangers. Fun, okay.

I'm not going to text what I'm there. We're actually going to walk and bump into each other. How do I do this with someone I know for the last several years? I know. This is great. You're just going to go in and you're going to be like, hey, you know, come here often. Are I seeing you before? And you guys might laugh.

But Matt, do your best. I'm telling you the most awkward thing. And I promise you, because I'm actually going to make you call me back unless you guys are having sex or something. And that is okay to trump my quest. But I'm telling you, the first minute or two you might giggle, you might laugh. And even if you give in, that's fine. But then once you get through it, you'll be like, oh, yeah, my name is Bob.

Who are you? And then you're going to find yourself. I'm telling you, getting into it. And just being like, yeah, my name is, do you know what are you going to call yourself? What's your alter ego name? I think I'm just named myself Zach or Josh. I'm not sure yet. It doesn't matter what happens in the moment. And then you could just kind of make up whatever you want. Like do you have any fantasies?

Do you, I don't know. Like do you watch porn? Is there anything do you have a fantasy that you go to in your head? Ever? Fantasy in my head is basically like warrior kind of. Oh, okay. Oh, it's bad to do this in a public spot, but I don't want to do anything illegal. Right. It is kind of illegal.

But like this. So you could be just kind of a, you could be like an outward, like you could be like a little more aggressive than you are, you could be like checking them out. I don't know how you are and the fear of the more dominant or submissive, but you could just be like, you know, have that conversation tonight. So let's say, because you're Zach, you're a warrior. What else? Let's give you some other traits here. What do you do for living? I work well. I work in the medical field. Right. What does Zach do? What does Zach the warrior do for a living? Is he like an artist, maybe?

Photographer? Photographer. Of course he's a photographer because he's a warrior of this makes so much sense. So what do you take pictures of mostly? Nature. Nature. I love it. Nature.

I love it. Yeah. Natural pieces of art. Good. I love it. I'm feeling that you feel like Zach to me now. So this is art, stuff like that. Good. I love it. I'm feeling that you feel like Zach to me now.

So this is what he agreed to this. See, the fact that you guys are already doing this and you're on your way is spicing it up. Let me just tell you that, because that was your initial question the other night. And Monday, I think, right? Exactly. And I think, like, I'm getting the butterflies butterflies like when we first went on our first date I get I have those butterflies in my stomach, so I'm kind of this is exciting

I'm trying to calm down before I get there. Oh my god. I know how long have you guys been together? Zack? We've been together almost six years. Okay, so you're setting such an example here People are like how can I go back to the butterflies? I never will and you're telling telling me that driving to a bar right now, you're getting butterflies again. Like, this is amazing. I'm getting butterflies. I'm so excited for you because this is what it's about. It's something different. You didn't have to go out and buy anything new. You didn't have to like, you spend any money. Like, you might have already gone for a drink, but now you're just playing it up. So you butterflies. This is exciting. I love it, so do you feel a little better? Okay, tell me.

What else? Ask me. I feel a lot better now. Now that I have something like in mind of how to play off, I feel better. Okay, good. So, but I definitely will let you know how this works out. I'm actually pulling up to the place now. Oh my god, I feel like I'm with you. Okay, Matt Zach. This is amazing. I'm so

excited. Callsite if you want to or tomorrow. We are here with you. We are out with you and you've got this. Thank you for calling. Have fun tonight. I'll give you a call tomorrow. It's already fun. Okay, please do. Yeah. We can reset that for people real quick that he called in the other night. Matt is partner, they've been together for six years and he was like, I want to spice it up. I don't want to do the silly role play or this or that. And I was like, well, you might like it. Do the sexy stranger thing.

And so now they're meeting at a bar. His boyfriend was down and he's pretending he's someone else and they're going to see what happens and he's got the butterflies back. Don't we all want that? We all have the butterflies in this room right now. We all are so excited. So excited.

This is one of the million things I love about doing this show every night on Series X and Stars is that we can actually, we're here 10 hours a week. Like you can talk to him on Monday and he's already spiced getting up by Wednesday. You guys, change can happen like that. You can start with a conversation. It could start with buying something new. Talking to your partner, you will change your sex life up for the better. What happens when it starts like, do you

suggest someone breaks the wall too? Like whatever, if it's going on too long and it's time to get to it or is that part of the game? That's part of the game. So like, just thinking go on for hours. Hours, maybe they flirt and they like Talk to you they don't touch yet and maybe like Matt slash Zach is soon And you might be like hey, I've always had this thing about I mean Maybe they're gonna have sex in the card tonight for people are watching or something Yeah, I think it keeps going until it doesn't but it's so and it really you think Because I've done these things where you do you get go you laugh at first But just just needs one of you to hold it for a second.

And then you move through it. And I'm telling you, my friends, a lot of married friends have done this and listeners and they are like, it was so hot. So until you try it, don't knock it till you try it, everyone. It's like a one night stand, but not really. Like you're not cheating. Right, exactly.

It's like this is with your actual, like we all know, okay, we're married, but. Yeah, but it's new here, it is. The butterfly, I can't make that up. I couldn't give you guys butterflies. That's what you have to do on your own, but I love it. All right, we have Larry. He's 58 from Illinois, and he can't finish from blow jobs.

All right. Hey Larry. Hey. Hi Larry. Thanks for calling. You have a big question for you. Matter of fact, I've been listening last couple of days and you've got some pretty good information out there.

It's going to help me out on a few things except I've got one little problem I've had for a long, long time. Most of my life is when it comes to a very low job, I can get right down that I can't finish. Okay. Yeah, this is actually. And I wanted to know if that was a myth. I want to know if that's something in my mind. It won't let me finish or-

Right, that's a good question. And I kind of feel like it- And my partner's kind of feel like I'm letting him down. Right, oh my God, I love this question there because I don't think we've had this question yet, but this is actually common. You'll be assuming that, I love low jobs. Why wouldn't they come all the time?

Well, you know, we're all different. So, you know, are you able to come during intercourse? Well, this is what you had something on her last night about Washington porn and masturbating, and I've got to start back and away from a lot of that stuff too, because, you know, like I said, you put out some pretty good information that I'm going to have to start working on. And I just think that Councilor used to masturbating when it comes to coming, no. I have to finish masturbating. Okay, so I think that a lot of this probably could be in your head, in a lot of it, we get

in our heads because you're like, I didn't come from that last blow job. So no, I won't come from this blow job. And then it becomes a thing. But I think that if the more you can maybe, you know, cut back on the porn a little, if you're doing it twice a day, you know, maybe once a day. You do it twice a week, once a week.

And kind of start focusing on more of like a mindful practice of maybe actually the person you're with, you know, and you can also, you know, and give them some direction and let them know. Here's the other thing, Larry, I love that you said this because you're right. A lot of your partners, women, we're going to feel like we're doing it wrong. We're going to think that you don't find a sexy, and that's why we always, we blame it. We're pleasers. When we can't please you, so let them know that you know what, this has been a challenge

for me. I haven't always come through blow jobs. Maybe start with a hand job. Hand jobs are great with lots of lube. Did I mention how much I love lube tonight? You could use a lot of lube for a hand job. And when you get too close to finishing, she could finish it off with her mouth.

So I think that we always think of blow jobs as one thing, like one mouth no hands, but I think Larry, that there's a lot of things here to work with. So, and nothing's wrong with you if you can't get there. Let's go to Angie. She's 53 in the Pacific Northwest. And she's currently having sex with someone half her age. All right. Hey, Angie.

Hi, there. Hi. So, I found that 22-year ice bell. You just finished a 22-year ice-doll? 22-year dry style. Okay. My break was because I had a baby and I decided to focus on raising her and not have any relationships. She's an adult now moved out, but I recently met somebody who's half my age. He's interested in older women, he finds them attractive and so we have engaged

in fixing and then have had a couple encounters and I'm just curious from the mindset of a young man what the attraction is. The attraction is that you're a sexy woman who knows what she wants and bad and knows what she's doing and that can be really attractive for a lot of guys. He's learning from you, maybe he has a hit, clearly hasn't had as much experience. I always tell people in their 20s, you haven't had your best sex set. You haven't been on the planet long enough for all you know your body. So I think he finds it really attractive that you're an independent woman who knows what

you want. Unless there's something else going on and you're like, you know, paying his rent or doing something else, otherwise I'm sure he's just... Not at all. Okay, so I think that... Not at all, but yeah. It just surprises me to find somebody that is age that wants to go that far with a woman, knowing that there's a huge age difference. And that he even admits that that attracts him.

Yeah. I'm telling you, there's a lot of things that people turn them on. So I'm sure for him, he's got, you know, he finds that really attractive. He's attracted to old women. I think that's completely great. And it's fine. And I don't think there's anything other ulterior motives there. And he told you already. So I say have fun with it, you know?

Probably, you know, is that going to be your lifelong partner? We don't know. But I think for now, I love that you're coming out of your 22 year old dry spot with someone that obviously I'm sure you're having great sex with too, right? So we don't even have to overthink this one. We've got all the answers. No, I'm not over thinking I'm just appreciating the opportunity. We're all appreciating it. How common that is. It's really common. It's way more common than you think. Yeah, it's really common. It's way more common than you think. Yeah, it's really common.

It's common for women to want to be with older men too, right? I think there are so many things that are common. So yes, I hear this all the time. A lot of my friends in their 40s, 50s are dating younger men and they just ask me the same things. I'm like, yeah, this happens. Women are amazing. We're attractive, independent, smart.

We're not, you know, and it's just something different. A lot of us like variety, right? So it can just be really sexy and hot to do someone different than where we're at in life. So you can probably both learn a lot from each other. So don't overthink it and keep having sex with them. I think it sounds fun until it's not. And then you'll know.

Thanks Angie. I hope you enjoyed this show. Hope you're enjoying your holiday season. Thanks to my amazing team Ken, Sarah, Inter and Michelle, producer Jamie and Michael. Was it good for you? email me feedback at sexwithemily.com you