Sex With Emily - Debunking the Biggest Myths About Sex and Desire

Episode Date: July 24, 2026

In this episode, I'm busting the biggest myths that are quietly running your relationship and your intimate life… the idea that men want it all the time, that women don't think about it nearly as much, that low libido means something's broken, that toys replace your partner, that your partner should just know what you like without you ever saying it out loud, and more. I'm walking through each one and replacing it with what's actually true, plus practical tools you can use tonight: how scheduling can bring back anticipation instead of killing it, why communication is its own form of intimacy, and how menopause and libido shifts don't have to mean your best years are behind you.  ABOUT EMILY: Emily Morse is a Doctor of Human Sexuality, author and host of the #1 rated Sex with Emily podcast. Known as a renowned sexologist, Dr. Emily has helped millions of people around the world navigate their sex lives. Her candid and often funny conversations challenge cultural taboos, misinformation and awkward sex talks to create a future where people can deeply connect and embrace pleasure-filled lives. Because, life is too short for bad sex.  CONNECT WITH EMILY: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/  X: https://twitter.com/sexwithemily  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily  Threads: https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily WANT MORE? Visit the Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ which includes FREE guides. Free Downloadable Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/  Text With Me: https://sexwithemily.com/text  Receive Sex Tips On The Regular: https://sexwithemily.com/subscribe  Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to http://sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply! Chapters: 0:00 Welcome to Sex with Emily 2:55 Inside the First Live Tour Show 6:43 Myth #1: Men Always Want Sex 8:12 Myth #2: Women Don't Think About Sex 9:47 Myth #3: Low Libido Means Something's Wrong 11:22 Myth #4: Great Sex Should Be Effortless 13:40 Myth #5: Sex Toys Replace Your Partner 15:17 Myth #6: Couples Should Want Sex Equally 16:52 Myth #7: Scheduling Sex Means Trouble 19:43 Myth #8: Using Lube Means Something's Wrong 22:45 Yoga Exercises for Better Sex 25:30 Myth #9: Your Partner Should Know What You Like 26:51 Myth #10: Blue Balls Are a Medical Emergency 27:55 Myth #11: No Erection Means No Attraction 29:04 Height Differences During Doggy Style 30:49 Can Menopause Affect Libido? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am so excited to finally share this with you. I am going on tour. It is the best sex ever tour. And I hope you'll join me. And the show is all about you, the audience. Every night, I'm going to be answering your questions, win prizes, and leave with secrets to have the best sex ever. Every night is different because the show is all about you. So here's the dates.

Then heading to Philadelphia on August 5th, Nashville on September 29th. Come with your partner, your friends, fly solo. You'll leave with practical tools. Plenty of laughs. Maybe some surprises. Well, definitely some surprises. Visit sex withemly.com slash events for tickets and tour information. I will see you there.

Can't wait to meet you. Nobody wants sex all the time. Toys are tools. And they're tools to help you feel more connected. Men think about sex 1,652 times a day. And women only think about sex 20 times a day. None of that is true. Back to why we got to bust this myth. It creates pressure on everybody, especially mad. Scheduling sex is one of the top tips I give to people because if we are not prioritizing our sex life, it's not going to happen.

Communication is intimacy. Communication is also a lubrication, but it's also intimacy. Hey everyone, welcome to sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily, and my mission is to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate. conversation around sex. This show is all about you. It's about you having better sex, expressing your desires, and knowing exactly what you want. Also be sure to follow me on all social media. It's Sex with Emily everywhere. Subscribe to my YouTube channel for full episodes and my newsletter. You're going to love my newsletter. I've been told I give really good newsletter, if you know what I mean. It's sex withemly.com slash newsletter. Finally, I am going on tour and I hope you join me. I'll be going all over the United States and the show.

is all about you. I'll be answering your questions live. We'll be playing games. There's giveaways. It's going to be such a good time. You can find that at sex with Emily.com slash events. All right, everyone.

Enjoy this episode. You've been looking forward to this all week. And with Cutwater's cocktails, this took only seconds. Because tonight's about catching up, not catching the server. Whether it's our Cutwater, Lyme, Margarita, lemon drop martini or rum mitai. They're expertly mixed and ready before the snacks hit the table. Cut water.

Expertly mixed cocktails. A perfect pairing for an evening with good company. Please enjoy responsibly. Must be 19 plus. My day kicks off with a refreshing Celsius energy drink. Pre-K drop off. Then straight to the gin. Back home to meal prep before heading to the fire station for my shift.

When the three alarm comes in, I'm ready. Celsius. Live. Fit. Go. Grab a cold, refreshing Celsius energy drink at your local retailer or locate now at celsius.ca. Enjoy Celsius responsibly. Designed for occasional energy boost, not as part of your daily diet. Please adhere to recommended serving limits. Hi, everyone. How are y'all doing? Today we're talking about sex myths. So what if everything that you grew up believing turned out to be totally wrong? In fact, a lot of the sex information or the sex education that we did or didn't get or even things that we hear from friends are complete myths.

They no longer work for us. And I want to bust some of those biggest myths that might be running your show still. You might still be making decisions about your relationship and your sex lives based on the things that you learned from movies or porn or from a friend and it's no longer serving you. So that's what today's episode was about. But before we get into that, I got to talk to you about Chicago. It was the first stop on the best sex ever tour. And I'm still riding high from the show. Honestly, I didn't know what to expect.

It's a brand new show. It's not a live podcast, but it's really a mix of comedy and audience games and confessions and live Q&A. and just really honest conversations about sex. We had a packed house at Zanies in Rosemont. And what blew me away wasn't about how much everyone left. It was about how open everyone was. People were asking vulnerable questions and sharing stories and cheering each other on.

And by the end of the night, it was like an entire room of complete strangers had come together to release shame and have more pleasure. And the best part, one of the best parts was afterwards hearing from people who said this really helped me move the needle. I did release some shame. I went home with my partner tonight. And not only do we have an incredible conversation about sex, but we also had better sex. Like we did take home a tip. Someone else said, I have people, what they texted me after, they said, I already know what conversation I'm going to have with my partner tonight. I've never laughed so hard while learning this much about sex.

And that's why I created this tour. This is exactly what I wanted people to learn. And we are just getting started. So if you thought, I wish I could be there. I wish we could hang out in real life. It's a chance for us to laugh together, talk about the things that nobody else is talking about, and leave with tools to have better sex and relationships. Oh, and we also had tons of giveaways.

We gave everyone who asked a question went home with a little sexy gift. We got some sex toys, some lube, some bondage gear. I would match people's questions to the toy or the product that I thought they needed or would want. And it was exciting. So I hope you come to my next show. It's in Philadelphia on August 5th. Just go to sex withemly.com slash events. But another detail real quick.

We had people of every age there, people in their 20s, people in their 70s, people came with their partners, their friends, their parents. Yes, so your adult children can come. And the audience wasn't just watching they were part of this show. So come have this live sex experience with me. Sex Education Experience. So sexademy.com slash events. I will see you at Helium in Philadelphia. Someone asked if you're going to Miami.

I want to go to Miami. When should I go to Miami? Yeah, I'll be going to Miami. I'm going to be taking this all over the world. But I will be going to Miami. I'm going to be going to Nashville. in September and we're still figuring out the other dates right now. But yes, tell me where you want me to go.

Tell me. I'm there. And get your ticket right now. And if you can't be in Philadelphia, maybe you have a friend in Philadelphia that you think wouldn't appreciate this show. I'm telling you, just from the feedback I already got, people said that their lives were changed. It helped them really shame.

And that's what we're all about. And it was a really fun night out. Let's get into sex myths. What do you think? We got some dating myths, we got some sex myths Because this is a really important thing to cover Like I said, some of us Some of us are still making decisions about relationships

The people we date, the sex we're having Based on really outdated information That we still believe to be true Because no one has told us that these, it's just not true A really big one that I hear all the time The first myth is that men always want sex men are always ready to go 24-7. Now, the problem with this is, well, first off, sure, some men want sex all the time.

People love throwing that stat around like men think about sex 1,000 times a day and women only think about sex 20 times a day. None of that is true. I know a lot of women who think about sex way more than men. But back to why we got to bust this myth, it creates pressure on everybody, especially men. Think about it. Men are like, I should always be turned on and ready to go. But what if a man has stress, anxiety?

He has medication side effects, hormonal changes. Maybe he's got issues in his relationship, doesn't feel as connected to his partner. Well, guess what? He's not going to want to be having sex. And then it makes men feel broken if they don't want sex. Then it makes female partners, women who are with men, think, well, he doesn't want sex as much. He's not getting an erection. He must not like me anymore.

attracted to me. So just remember that that desire and relationships fluctuates for every body. Right. So that is a myth. Nobody wants sex all the time. So to correct, men always want sex, men and women want sex at different rates and we should pay attention to the person we're with and find out when they want sex, when you want sex and figure it out together. So the second myth is women don't think about sex? Well, women do think. I'm thinking about sex right now. A lot of you are thinking about sex. I think why this comes up is because, first of all, cultural conditioning. We expect men to think about sex, but if a woman thinks about sex all the time, we have a lot of judgment around her. But you have to remember that women were socialized to believe that

if they talk about sex a lot or they express their desires, they're going to be shamed. So women aren't even given permission to express their desire. And women definitely fantasize and they initiate sex. They just might experience their desire differently. For a lot of women and men, but for women, our desire is more responsive. We're not just immediately desiring sex instead of a spontaneous desire. We have a desire that's more responsive. We're responding to certain things happening, a connection with our partner.

Maybe it's a touch first or something that we see or that we talk about. Our conversation might get our desire going, but it might not be as top of mind. So to bless this myth that women don't think about sex, sure, women think about sex and they do it on their own terms. And they might have to prioritize it more to keep it top of mind. But yes, we think about sex. We want really good sex. I think we can agree that all the genders and most times, or that we would all desire sex with the right partner,

the right conditions, and the right timing. Another myth, low libido means something is wrong. Yeah, low libido does mean that there's something to investigate and to take a look at. And usually it doesn't mean it's not just about libido. So our libido is a vital sign, and it's an indicator of other things going on. So we might not be feeling a higher desire, but it's not fixed. So maybe we've had a lot less sleep than we wanted, and that's impacting our desire.

We've been really, really stressed out lately, or we've got kids running around. Our hormones are fluctuating. We're on a medication. That medication is giving us these side effects. kind of taking a dip in our desire. Maybe we haven't felt it's connected to our partner. Our relationship dynamics are not where they were. So instead of asking what's wrong with me, think about this.

What conditions need to exist so I feel desire again? And also examining what's getting in the way of my desire. So to flip this myth, low libido means something is wrong. low libido mean that there is a sign for more investigation into what's actually going on with my mental, physical, and relational well-being. That's how we're going to flip that myth. All right. And you can also put your myths in the chat if there's any myths that you would like to challenge or if you have any questions. I'm here for all of it.

Ready to bust another myth. Good sex should be effortless. I should just want to have sex all the time without making an effort. It should always be good. We should have desire at the same time. And I don't know anything in life that's so pleasurable and so important and that is effortless. Like I don't even, what is effortless? Effortless is usually comes at a time when we put a lot of time, attention, and focus on something.

Then it feels effortless. But just because good sex or just the frequency of your sex was effortless maybe early on in a relationship at certain periods of the relationship, you know, good sex is much more about talking more about your sex. The more you're going to actually have conversations about your sex life and prioritize those conversations outside the bedroom, you're going to have good sex. trying different things, bringing in new elements into your sex life, whether it's a new lube or a pillow, putting a pillow under your bum or toys, positions, trying new things, checking in with each other, those all take some effort. So, and that's what's going to make better sex is by adding in new elements of surprise and new conversations to have with each other.

But the best sex looks less like a movie and more like really good teamwork. So, um, collaborating with your partner, spending time talking about your sex life, like you plan everything else in your life that is important to you. That's what's going to make good sex. So instead of good sex should be effortless, flip it to good sex. Who's here? Is someone here? Someone. What'd she do?

She opened the door. Open the door. This is Lucy. Funny. Like someone to the door. And she wants to be part of the conversation. So, yeah, good sex is not effortless. Remember, I'm not trying to give you something else to do.

I know we're all trying to have like really great morning routines and be really good at our jobs and put all these new things in place. But good sex comes from having really interesting conversations with your partner, your lovers, your friends, everybody. That's how we're going to get it going, okay? What else do we got here? I want that one. See, what else do we got? Here's a mess. You know I don't agree that's one.

But toys replace partners. If you use a lot of toys, sexual accoutrements like lube or what else do we use? Toys, lube, games, whatever you want to do, it's going to replace your partner. But if you think about it like, I want to stay here, toys are tools. Toys are tools and they're tools to help you feel more connected. In fact, couples often report they feel much more connected when they explore together. trying a toy is a direct way to enhance your intimacy with your partner. I promise you when you do it in a way that is collaborative.

So how we don't want to do a toy is if we're like, let me, like let's say you have a partner who feels like a toy is a threat. What I always do is I'll say like, let's try this together. Let me explain to you by using a toy together is going to feel great for us. And remember, no matter what your body part, a toy feels great when we stimulate all of our nerve running. So I show them, I'm like, let's use this toy together and I let them see how it's going to feel on their body, whether it's like rubbing over their arms or their neck or their genitals. They're like, that's awesome. Bring that toy along. So toys can make communication actually a lot

easier in your relationship and it can actually help things. So toys actually, instead of saying the myth of toys replace partners, toys can actually make your relationship and your sex life feel a lot more intimate, a lot more satisfying, a lot more pleasurable, and a lot more guaranteed orgasms, if you're into that kind of thing. All right. Let's see. Any other myths? Here's one.

If you love each other, you'll always want sex equally. Well, that's a big myth. Who's in a relationship with someone where they want sex equally all the time? Desire discrepancies, mismatch libidos is probably one of the most common questions I get asked from people. like why do I want sex more often than my partner or why does my sex partner want more off sex more often than I do especially in long-term relationships your desire is going to ebb and flow and the goal in no way is that you should have identical desire all the time they should each want sex the same moment and the same time of day same time a month the same

time of the week that just doesn't work that way the goal here is collaboration and making sure that you um talk about it you say I notice that we're not wanting sex at the same times, but what can we do to find certain times a day, times a week, where we do want sex at the same rate even, right? Like this is not a problem. So to switch this myth, which said, if you love each other, you'll always want sex equally. I want to flip that to the truth, which is if you love each other, you're going to figure out

how to have sex that feels satisfying for both of you. So that's what we got here. Take this as your sign to go. Just get out there and go. This summer at Best Western, get 1,000 bonus points and a chance to win 250,000 bonus points. Life's a trip.

Make the most of it at bestwestern.com. No additional purchase necessary for sweeps. See bonus point T's and Cs and sweeps rules for details. Here's other myth. If we have to schedule sex, the relationship is in trouble. Scheduling sex is one of the top tips I give to people because again, if we are not prioritizing our sex life,

it's not going to happen. If we don't schedule it, well first off, we schedule everything that's important to us. And if you find that your sex isn't happening, rather than getting frustrated and waiting for your partner to initiate or waiting for the right time, if you know that your time to have sex is Saturday or Monday or whatever day you decide, the anticipation towards that sex can be

towards that scheduled sex can be really sexy. And scheduled sex doesn't mean it's scripted. It means, oh, we're looking forward to this sex date. What can we do to make it interesting, different? What can we do to just even look forward to it? Maybe we send each other sexy texts and talk about the sex that we know we're going to have and we do what we know turns us on. So for me, I know that I want to have taken a shower.

I want to make sure that my rooms clean. I want to make sure that my toys are charged. I want to make sure that I have everything else off my plate. And if I know this is the night. I don't just go into it hoping that I'm going to want to have sex. I build a life. I build my day around it, making sure that it's going to make sure that I am in the best, best possible place and state of mind to engage in the kind of sex.

that would be the most fun for both of us. So also the other thing about scheduling sex is that when you plan intimacy, it often creates more spontaneity and more enjoyable sex because you're removing the pressure. So what scheduling sex does is it cancels out all that pressure that you're telling yourself, I should be in the mood tonight or my partner should want it or is it going to happen on Monday?

Is it going to happen on Tuesday? Is it going to happen on Wednesday? And then every night you're thinking, when's the sex going to happen. I know you guys do this. I know you're thinking about it, right? You're probably thinking when is it going to happen. Well, this just removes all of that. This removes all of the when, when if, when's it going to happen. It's just like going to the gym. I schedule my workout classes the night before. I can't cancel it or I'll get a fee and I hate getting that fee or I'll lay out my clothes. So I make it easy. I make the things that are important to me work for

me. And that's the same thing about scheduling sex. So if you have a to schedule sex, it doesn't mean the relationship is in trouble. If you have to schedule sex, it's about scheduling something that is really important for your relationship and your sex life. It's about planning intimacy to remove the pressure. Oh God, you guys know how I feel about this one, but just from being out in the world with you all, I know that you believe this. many of you not you but some of you here's the myth if i have to use lube something's wrong and i understand where this myth come from we think that if we have to use lube that there is a problem so if i feel like i need lube as a woman i think well something's wrong with me i should be more

lubricated what's my problem and then my if i'm with a guy you might think well i didn't do enough and turn her on and why does she need lube and lube is an enhancement in a relationship okay lube actually brings more pleasure to couples there have been studies that show when you add lube to any sexual situation women are more likely to orgasm and lube is an enhancement in a relationship that's what i'm saying it enhances you know relationships and porn like if you think about it porn not porn if you think about people use moisturizer on their face every day They condition their hair, they moisture their face. Why do we still have this stigma about loom?

And also, we can't guarantee that we're always going to be lubricated, that we're going to be as wet. There are so many things that affect our wetness levels. Remember this, stress, if we're stressed, if we're not drinking enough water, our hormones, certain medications can impact. They dries out everywhere. Breastfeeding, menopause, like all these things. So when you add a few drops of lobe and you're just like, I know that loop is going to handset and you leave it on your nightstand. It's a game changer. Just don't have sex without it.

I haven't had sex without a loop in 20 years. Like whether I need it or I not, it's like wearing sunblock on a cloudy day. That's what I does to think about it. You just know you can still get a sunburn. So I'm going to wear. It's a preventative too because if you are too dry, that's where we get tears. And then when you get tears, you can get STIs and just put a lobe on your nightstand. That's what you want.

A lobe on every nightstand. That's what's going to say on my tombstone is that she put a lube on every single nightstand in the world. Like how you have a lamp on your nightstand. What else is on your nightstand? A candle and some loop. That's all I asked for. Is that too much? Is that too much of a dream?

Is that too big of a dream? Yes. Because I know the difference that it makes. Someone asked about making my own products. I am making my own products and they're coming out soon. which I will share with you. But for now, I do have a shop site at sex withemly.com. I have a store, and I have all of my faith.

It's a highly curated store of my favorite products that I recommend. It's got toys. It's got lube. It's got some wellness products. You should check out shop Sex with Emily for that. But I will be making some more products soon. So thanks for asking. And keep, stay tuned.

Keep listening. And keep listening to the podcast. Sign up for our newsletter. You're going to love it. I'm a other person asked, I need help from you with yoga exercises for better sex positions to create a good sex life for me. Please help me with this issue. I keep having. Thank you.

Yoga exercises. So someone asked, what are yoga exercises for better sex positions? So all I can think is that maybe they're a little bit stiff in areas and they feel like a lot of us have back pain or we have like we just can't stretch is enough that there's, our inner thighs are. floor exercises. And listen, a lot of this is blood flow. So if we don't have enough blood flow to our pelvic floor area, it might be impeding our ability to feel desire. So I love a keggle exercise.

It's for all genders. You just squeeze those pea-stopping muscles to start and stop, like starting and stopping the flow of urine. You hold for a few seconds. You tense. You release. Do some kegill exercises. Hip openers are huge.

I can't tell you whenever I do hip openers, how do we just, do they want me to describe it or just you can look at hip openers? Like hip openers are so, that is, whenever I do, I do yoga a few times a week. I'm going to explain to you hip opening stretches. Oh, it's like how I'm sitting right now doing the butterfly pose, the butterfly pose. I'm sitting right now with my, my legs spread out. My, like, like I'm in a, what's it called? legs crossed the goddess pose is a good one how do i explain these a lizard pose low lunge how do you explain

the pose oh the what's it called what's it called when you put your foot out in front not the lizard one but the they always do it at the end of yoga where you're like you do the oh pigeon pigeon pose pigeon pose pigeon pose is a great one um the the pigeon pose where you've one child Pose, relaxes your nervous system. Literally almost every pose that you do in yoga class is going to help you open up. And remember, when I say open up, it's because we hold so much tension in our pelvic floor, our lower body. And when we start to stretch those areas and breathe more energy into those areas, we get more blood flow. You'll start to feel more arousal if you do it regularly because sometimes it's the tension that's actually keeping us from feeling more desire.

So you can add on pigeon pose is a deep hip opener. Pigeon pose is a deep hip opener. It's one of the deepest poses. And it also is a pose that when you're opening our hips, we also store a lot of emotions in there, in our body. And it's just a really great release. Here's another myth. Your partner should just know what you like.

Your partner should be a mind reader. They should be able to intuit it. This is a myth. Okay. The myth is your partner should. should know what you like. They should just intuit what you like. They should be able to figure it out. They should just know. They should be able to tell by, you know, you telling them once what you liked. Our partners are not mind readers. That is not intimacy. And also bodies change. Our preferences

change. The more we communicate about what we like, that's how we're going to get our needs met. If we actually talk about what we like, communication is intimacy. communication is also a lubrication but it's also like don't be mad at your parter because they don't know what you're like i'm so tired of being like my partner doesn't know or they won't do what i like or i told them once your partner is not going to learn because you told them once what you liked also it's fairly a new practice i mean maybe you're in a perfect relationship where you guys are always talking about you what you like but i can tell you that the majority of couples do not talk about what they like in a way that's actually helping their sex life. So your partner should be interested in what you like. Your partner should be curious about your like that they should not just magically know what you like. How about this one? Blue Balls are a medical emergency. I love that one.

That's a myth. Blue balls, I used to think that if a guy at Blue Balls, I was soaked that he was going to have to go to the hospital. And it was my fault. And he was going to be like, I'd be calling 911 because he didn't ejaculate. And now it's my problem. And I don't want to be the guy, the girl that gives them blue balls. No. It's uncomfortable, right?

Not dangerous. They're not going to have to go to the hospital. So listen. And this feels like an important public service announcement because being a pleaser and whining my partner to feel good, I was like, I have to always finish this with them. They have to have an orgasm on my watch because then they're going to be have a huge problem. But could you imagine if there was like the equivalent of like this worry around women? She didn't have an orgasm.

There's going to be a problem. Like every woman would be in the hospital if this were true because they're not having orgasms. So the point is don't let the blue balls thing scare you. It's okay for a guy to be turned on and not have an orgasm or he could go take care of that on itself. That's also a myth. Oh, this is a really big one. No erection means a myth. No erection meets no attraction.

If your partner doesn't have an erection, it means that they're not attracted to you and you must be doing something wrong. They must have just looked at you and they lost their. erection. It's your problem. No, remember this. Your partner's erection is based solely on, I mean, there could be other things going on in your relationship, but usually it has to do with their own bodies. Have they had a lot of stress lately? Have they had anxiety? Have they been drinking? Are they taking drugs?

Have they had a loss of sleep? There's like our erections. I don't have erections, but your erections, if you're listening or your partner's erections, are just a symptom of something else that we got to take a look at. But don't make it about you. Don't make it a problem with you. The same thing goes for like the lubrication thing I was saying earlier just because your partner's not lubricated. Doesn't mean that it's your problem. In fact, we have to take responsibility for all of our own sex challenges. Remember all of that. Any other myths to, uh, anything else here to add? What do you recommend as a guy for doggy style sex standing when you're six foot two

and you're dating a woman much shorter. The hips are so far apart, it's hard to enter. Oh, I have an answer for this one. Have her lie on the bed. Ah, I'll repeat it. So doggy style with a 6'2 partner and his partner is like 5'1. Right. Much, much shorter.

The best thing for this is to have your partner, she lies down on the bed. So like with her head on the mattress. and her bum is just sort of up on the edge of it. And then that allows you to come in and the taller partner to come in and have more leverage, right? I think that's my best advice for that. I'm trying to remember what I used to say. That's like that's right. Does that make sense?

Let's see. Like she's flying like her feet are off the bed or she can use a pillow to elevate. Hold on. I don't have the exact. Yeah. So she could literally like hands and knees on bed and standing. Oh, yeah. Standing.

Hands and knees, right. I used to answer this question all the time and I haven't answered in a while. So I guess he's standing. Okay, so she's, this is for doggy style. So doggy style for a partner where the guy is like 6-2 and she's a lot smaller, if she's on the bed in doggy style position, is that what's called? Hands and knees. Hands and knees.

He can come up. He can be standing and come up. to her when she's on the bed and do it that way. That's a great work around. It shouldn't be a problem though. This is the hype thing. Like there's different ways to work, work around it. And that's one of that. Someone asked, you might have already answered this, but just in case, can menopause affect libido? Yes. Someone just asked, can menopause affect libido? Absolutely, menopause can affect libido. There are so many other things that are going on. There's so many things going have menopause, our loss of estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, we're just tired, we're losing

hormones. Our estrogen levels get lower. We lose estrogen and we can have more pain during sex. So there's a lot of things in menopause, perimenopause, they can impact libido. It's really, really common. But what's great is that we have ways now to treat it. First off, hormone replacement therapy is really common right now. and also highly recommended for women in pari menopause.

Menopause, remember this wasn't a thing 20 years ago. We stopped taking HRT. But I find that for a lot of women who are worried about this time of life, if you are having pain, for example, you can take vaginal estrogen and that will help to regrow your tissues and that will help to, because your walls of your vaginal walls get a lot thinner, so that could help you. but again, communicating with your partner about it, finding other ways to get yourself in the mood.

We talk a lot about libido and knowing your turn on. It's like, do you need to be moving your body more, working out more, making sure that you have a space and a time for sex? Maybe sex is less frequent, but also finding a partner that understands that maybe your desires have changed at times of day. maybe you need a lot more touch and a lot more foreplay than you needed before. Maybe adding some more toys to the mix, more loop to the mix. Your paramedopause and menopause do not mean that your sex life is over at all. And in fact, it could be a time of your life where you have the best sex ever because you don't, you give zero fucks.

You're not as like caught up on as many things as you might have been when you're younger. But now you can really say, this is exactly what I need. These are the tools, the toys, the positions. that really work for me now. And there's something about taking control of your sex life at this age and troubleshooting for it that could actually give you the best sex ever because I know that a lot of women are worried about this stage of life, but then I've also found that when they go back to their, they look even 10 years or 20 years

or earlier, they're like, yeah, I guess it really wasn't even that amazing that either. This is just the time of life where I'm really thinking about what I actually want, and it can make it work for me. And I always say that any day that you are paying attention to your sex, life and maybe that's right now, today could be the first day of the rest of your sex life, starting today. So whatever you've learned today, whatever you take away from this today, take one thing, whether it's a conversation you need to have, you need to go buy a lube, you need to give yourself grace that maybe your body has changed and it's not what you've

wanted before. But it doesn't mean your sex life is over. It could be just beginning. So remember all that, everybody. I'm wishing you a wonderful rest of your day. a beautiful sex life. And I'm wishing you so many more connections and love and intimacy and a whole lot of pleasure. So thanks everyone for joining me. I appreciate you all. If you want to check more about Sex with Emily, you can go to sex with Emily. Follow me in all social media at Sex With Emily.

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