Sex With Emily - Dirty Married Sex & One-Night Bangs

Episode Date: February 11, 2017

Sometimes we all need to get a little bit dirty. On today’s show, Emily and Anderson are tackling your hottest sex and dating questions—emphasis on hot. Freaky sex is at the forefront of conversation with email topics including analingus etiquette, dirty married sex, biting in the bedroom and so much more. Emily and Anderson also discuss a study about one-night stands and share their respective perspectives on these ultra-casual one-time trysts. So whether you’re looking to heat up things with your long time partner or you just want to turn up the kink with your lover, this show has the tips you need to get down and dirty tonight. Don’t miss it! Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep this podcast FREE: Adam & Eve, Pour Moi, Sportsheets, Vibratex and Promescent Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Today's show is all about you and your sex and dating questions. What's the best way to introduce Analympus with a new partner? Need help breaking your biting habit? Biting during sex? Plus tips on how to get the dirty married sex you crave. All this and more. Thanks for listening. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute.

The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Mollie? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. So, so, so.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemity.com and have a party there because there's a party happening every day. We've got amazing content that we upload, download, all that. You can do all of it there. We've got our podcast.

You can subscribe. You can go shopping at our store. You can subscribe to all of our social media because we do a lot there. I think you will find entertaining and fun. And it's just a party. And it's a party here now with Anderson. It's a party.

Hi, Anderson. We're all party. What's up? How are you doing? I'm party. I like the party. My name's Anderson. I like the party.

You do like the party. We need to party more. We talk about it. We never party ever We need to party. Oh, it gets some stuff. I guess some stuff party. You cool man. You cool That's always like a dead giveaway guy has a blow. Oh Your bomb you want a bomb. Let's go on the bathroom. Yeah, all right Then all of a sudden you're in the bathroom for two hours with a guy you don't even like but he's got the blow Yeah Those are good fun days. Those are good, fun days. Those are good, fun times.

Oh, yeah. But here's something fun that you could do that. You don't have to do any blow at all. And you might even get laid if you learn how to flirt. Oh, flirt. There's a flirting workshop. It's this weekend, February 12th. It's in Manhattan Beach by Celeste Danielle

from the Somatic Institute. They're coming down from San Francisco. And this is kind of a really great opportunity for you guys. They're not down here that often. And this is kind of a really great opportunity for you guys. They're not down here that often and they change my life last year. It's 10 to three is the flirting workshop, but it sounds just about flirting you guys. Whether you're single dating,

trying to keep up the spark in your long-term relationship, a little flirting can help us all in our day-to-day lives. It's called flirting away to success. And then there's also a two-hour intro to somatica. It's awesome. Check it out. Go to the web. I'm gonna be there. My team's gonna be there. intro to somatica. It's awesome. Check it out. Go to the web. I'm going to be there.

Teams going to be there. Go to somaticainstitute.com. Slash somatica skills. That's on Sunday the 12th. On Saturday the 11th, we're doing a Facebook live. We're doing a here at Texas Emily. So you can kind of get a little taster for it. Who's going to be here?

What's going to be going on? It's going to be myself. It's going to be Celeste and Yao. Madison. It's going to be a Saturday parade. For those of you who don't live in the Manhattan Beach area out here of the West Coast. It's beautiful. You get a little taste of it. Yeah, before. Exactly. Yeah, let's see people we do we can hear that 5 p.m.

That's what I'm saying. It's gonna be with like the same similar things are happening. Yeah, totally. But it'll be in our office. It'll be fun. That Facebook live is Saturday, February 11th on our Facebook, which is Facebook.com.com.com. Sex with Emily, as is all of our social media. What time? 5 p.m. Pacific stand. Pacific.

So 8 o'clock if you're over there in New York. Thank you, Andrew. God knows. I'm an Australian. I need your help with the math. So I have an interesting story. My mother, interesting. It's been kind of troubling.

Yeah, your mom was here last week. So it was really intense. And I feel like it was great Love having her hair But you know moms and it's like my mom. She stays with me and she's there for five days and mostly it was a good time I was all a good time I actually miss her like shed tears when she leaves But I was thinking today about this funny story. So my mom this is just my mom was out with her friend

She's got her gym group Because my mom goes to the gym every day. She's very healthy. Be weird, she had a gym group and she had a room with the gym. Right, with everywhere. They said, how many? Let's do a bunch of dudes name gym. That would make sense.

So they're sitting around and it's the same five women, like every day, you know, most of them are there. But she, one of their friends was not there that day. But that friend that was missing, let's call her bar, was texting Jane, who was there. Okay, barbed in a drop. Barbed in a show up. But Jane and my mom and four others are having coffee.

She said, oh my God. Um, Barb who's not there, Barb is, Jane goes, Barb is texting me right now. She's saying that something about, oh funny, she's listening to your daughter's podcast. Oh, no. And then she says, oh, oh, and she was, maybe I shouldn't say that's out loud.

These people are in their 70 and like, what, mom, what? She said, well, she said that your daughter's talking about giving a blowjob on her porch. Why is on her porch? My mom was like, when did I hear from porch or the back porch? She called me and she wanted to know the front porch or the back porch because she's got a front porch. Right. I understand that she is the front porch. She's the front of the back one. I didn't think she was doing sexual innuendoes with you there. But that was her concern. Wendy, I don't remember you talking to me neither. So I had to go into my archives, which is Madison, and say, when the hell did I talk about that?

And I think it was a show we were talking about sex to home over the holidays. And I talked about this guy who was dating. And this was probably eight years ago when this happened, the post, the post, the post blog, the post story. Remember it. Yeah. And he lived in Michigan as well. So he happened to be from Michigan, but he lived in L.A.

and we were dating. He's one of those things where you guys go back for the holiday. You haven't seen any of your own grown up. Yeah, I know, over Thanksgiving. You're not giving a B.J. on the port. Right. The old morstrasse. That's normal.

But the fact that my mom's friends are listening to the show and the blowjob, it was fine. He said, Paulie is sometimes it's not like the kind of show that like your mom's friends could or should. I guess they should. Well, I don't know why they're listening. I mean, I love that they're listening But it was just like a new show the big almost your daughter. It's like oh everything's good But like this show it's like almost me daughter and I'm sure her mom's like titans whatever coffee cups

She's holding on to her teeth. It's a show about dating. Yeah, and love is what she tells people I'm poor I'm fine with that. No, my mom's pretty cool. My mom is pretty cool But it was it was a very funny story But I think speaking of it's a show that's about sex, I think with all the crazy stuff going on, I don't want to get into it in our world right now, that sex is something that's pleasurable and steady and happy and makes you feel good.

And if it doesn't make you feel good, that's probably why you're emailing me and listen to sex with them. Like someone tweeting me, they're like, everyone's talking about politics that works. So I've got my headphones on, listen to sex with them. I'm not saying you should put your, everyone's talking about politics that works, so I've got my headphones on, listen to sex with them. I'm not saying you should put your head in the sand, and there's a lot we should be doing right now,

but it's some levity. And there could be an argument made that sex is the most important thing in the world. For sure. Without sex, there are no politics happening right now. That's true. It needed a lot of politics to do about go back to sex. I do agree with that.

Not just war in the middle east. But like all species without sex, that species doesn't. It wouldn't be. I do agree with that. I'm not just warm in the middle east, but like all species without sex that species doesn't wouldn't be. I like when I take out my little dog and I take him on a walk, right? Which little dog? Stanley. I don't know. It's your little buddy as well. When I'm out of town, you watch him when you love, you love your stand. And I, and I have had this thought many times when I'm watching them standing there waiting, you know, as dog owners you know, I can when you're waiting for your dog to be, you got nothing to do, but to stare at your dog, peeing. And can't tell you how many times I've had there waiting, you know, as dog owners, you know, like when you're waiting for your dog to pee, you got nothing to do, but to stare at your dog, peeing.

And I can't tell you how many times I've had this thought, whereas I'm looking at this weiner, and I'm thinking, don't give me that look, I'm looking at the same weiner. I'm so knowing this. And I'm thinking, that is the most important piece of that entire entity, that entire little body, that entire little creature, that's by far the most important thing

is because it is the the go between to get More of Stanley's in the world, right? I know a little weener is so important. I think it is a peak peak peak fountain You never think that when you're peeing and looking at your Little weener. I've never thought that. Yeah, I've never done that Ironically though with Stanley his testicles are probably even more important than the penis and I had those removed so oh Yeah, yeah, that explains it. No way to get I can't wait but sex super for so many reasons, but also, you know There's global reasons why it's important. There's um biological reasons obviously

Seven seven and a half billion people in the world them every single one of them was created by at least one sexual encounter Just one exactly. No, you're you're so right. And so it matters to everybody. And that's why I think this show has universal appeal. Yeah. I'm just trying to help you all. I want to solve to have a better life, better sex. It's helped. That is your motivation. That is truly still is. And I love that I'm grateful that I have found that this is it means been a while now. But this is like I will never stop. I will never stop until everybody's having great sex

and orgasm. Never talked badly about anyone. I've never seen it. I've never seen you talk badly about anyone. I've never seen me caddy. I've never seen you. You know, it's only with people like if I do, it's like. You're like the real genuine article.

Like you're what hippies I think aspire to be like, but you're not hippy yourself. I'm a little hippy. You are a little hippy, but you would not see it, you would not see it walking down the street. No, you wouldn't think I was hippy. You don't smell it patchouly. No, I don't patchouly know it, but I have those like, you know, choppa, like incense that

I light at my house sometimes, but there's someone has that. I was talking to my buddy Tyler last week about you, because you're supposed to be on the show, the aftersaster, and you didn't show up. And I was talking about how, you know, she's a little bit all over the place sometimes, and she's not the most centered person that I know, and I just don't surprise me that she's gonna make the show tonight. She'll be on sometime before, at some point,

but then I just started talking about you and your personality and how like you're maybe the most genuine person that I know, because you just, it's not like, I know plenty of people go, like I don't talk badly about other people, I just think it's through, it's wrong. But Mary is kind of a bad, right? They do that, like you like I don't talk badly about other people. I just think it's through and it's wrong. But Mary is kind of a bad thing. Right, right. They do that.

Like you I don't even know if you caught if you had to like you just don't have it in you. I just you know it's yeah, I don't I don't think it's first. I don't think it's it doesn't it doesn't feel good to talk badly about other people. Have you ever problem with someone? I feel so good. I know. I think here's a thing. I think it's how we the reason why we do it and the reason why you why people love the gossip magazines, love all the gossip sites. It's because it's a better button to sell. It's about ourselves that elevates us

and it's distraction from our own suffering. And so I think like, I just look at the, I just can see everybody's side of things and I wasn't raised that way, my mother doesn't do it. I think I was with her and I thought, God, you know, I'm so grateful my mother for Liam, we all have issues with our parents, but she really taught me how to be kind and resilient

and grateful. And it comes off as effortless. It absolutely took off as effortless. I've never heard her talk about, you know, non-judgmental, and it's not that I don't push over, but I also just don't think it's helpful for anybody. And there's so many other things to talk about. And I think typically to me, I hear people talk, and also here's the other thing, people,

if you've got a friend, you're like, every time we're together, all she does is talk about other people, guess what? When you're not there, she's talking about you. Absolutely. It's a hard reality. It's a harsh reality, but it is true. But thank you for saying it's always so sweet. It's so much fun to hate that guy that doesn't let you over in traffic when you would let

him over in traffic, though, and it makes you feel better. Because I'm a good person. I would let him over in traffic though, and it makes you feel better. I'm a good person. I would let him over in traffic, but he's not gonna let me over. You know what, and it's like a nice vent. It's a release, you hate that guy, but you don't need that guy.

But you don't talk about people that you... I talk about them one there in the room too, so that kind of makes it a couple of people. But I feel like you're not, you're the person that... No, you really don't. You hate like unnamed people who are driving cars and can't you buy them. Absolutely. But, you really don't. You hate unnamed people who are driving cars

and cut you off. Absolutely. But so yeah, I'm glad we covered that. Or both good people. I hate groups of people. I love individuals. Everyone should just focus on every time you're going to see something bad about someone.

I think that you should just say one thing. You create for force and love for yourself and then masturbate. Okay, sex and the news. Depends on where you are. I don't know. Everyone be careful with that advice. What? I'm usually mad at people on traffic. on your order. I don't know. Everyone be careful with that advice. What?

I'm usually mad at people in traffic. People do it. I would recommend it. I don't know. Everyone's done it at least. I think all guys have beat off in the car at least once. Really? Yeah.

Really? Is that you? I don't want to do it. Oh, that's what you got for. You want to beat off in the car? I know what I've done it. What? Yeah, I remember in San Francisco, I was driving

my friend Heather's house. And I don't remember, it was like a Saturday night. I remember thinking this was so far in San Francisco, driving 20 minutes to her house in the marina. Right, so you're in heavy traffic. You have heavy traffic for 20 minutes. Tinted windows? And nope, just my little mini Cooper.

In the mini. I was really into this new vibrator I had. What kind of remember what it was? This is. And I remember, I was home, I think I had glass of wine, and I'm gonna dress over there. And I remember just the whole way I couldn't stop having orgasms and I just kept masturbating,

though, I waited her house. I don't think I ever told her. I like put the seat back right out there. I don't know, she's a really good friend. I have no secrets for my friends. You put the seat back. I was, it was really good. I couldn't, I have these times where I masturbate, and like a cancep orgasm. When did you put the seat back. I was, it was really good. I couldn't, I have these times where I'm masterbiting

and like a cancep orgasm. When did you put the seat back? I think when I pulled up, it wasn't done in 20 minutes. Yeah, it was fun. But it's not safe to have those tails. Like you don't want to like have an orgasm when you're going down high street or something. So everyone masterbiting the cars

to a lot of people do. But. What if a car didn't run unless you were actually masturbating inside of it? Can you imagine what traffic would look like? Oh my god, I'm gonna run cars or something Well, it should never want to be like stopping and going and like swarming. It would be a wreck out They would be a mess. I say pull pull over pull over. Okay. Sorry. Okay. Here's some sex in the news Yes, I'm trying to relate to masturbation, but I can't sex in the news

But I'm trying to do a nice dovetail if you will but women regret one night stands and men regret not having more of them. That's totally agree with that. Is that awesome? So waking up on a stranger's bed can fill us with regret. Scientists found 35% of women tend to feel guilty after having a one night stand. But only a fifth of men regret it. Plus 60% of men are annoyed by their decision to turn down their most recent opportunity of casual sex. How many? What? 60% of men are annoyed by their decision to turn down their most recent opportunity of casual sex. How many? 60% are annoyed.

I got it. This isn't that probably doesn't seem like news to you, but I think it's interesting, which is news because there was some study. But the reason why women tend to feel guilty or could come down to evolution, it suggests, which this always, I think, are orgasms. A lot of it is tied to evolutionary psychology. Men have orgasms during sex to a far greater extent than women, which is true, especially during

one night's dance. Typically women don't have orgasms with new partners when they're not didn't complete trust. And guy to put on how she works. No, and she's like doesn't feel safe. She's drunk. Whatever it is. So if women tie in emotions and societal guilt to feeling, you know, feeling slutty, et cetera, getting no call after, so the whole thing is like a vicious cycle for them. So they didn't get the orgasm, they got emotion, they feel guilty, whatever.

So while both genders are more regretful about one-night stands, that did not, oh, there was another thing in here that says that they didn't have orgasms, they were more pissed off. If they didn't have orgasms, they are upset, women. If they didn't have orgasms, they are upset women were even more upset about the one night stand. So, that'd be orgasm. I wonder if that would give them false hope. Because you're more attachment. Here's the thing also, the women of orgasms, they get more

attached. But I think you're also going to get attached if you just are with somebody. The oxytocin still gets released. But if you have orgasm, maybe you feel like the connection is real and it's not just a fling. And then maybe on some kind of like evolutionary level, like biological level, you're feeling like you're going to see that person again and this could turn into something. Because also it's just the way that it's set up in science. Women are trying to get pregnant and then nest right when we every time you have sex or some level somewhere

in your brain and in your chemistry where you're trying to get pregnant. So you So even if you're past the point of being able to get pregnant, right? You're still going on. These things are still being made in your primitive brain and you want the guy to stick around. So it feels like a failure if he just flees right afterwards. Rejection, it's absolutely true. It's absolutely true because we're supposed to be that yeah, procreating and finding our match and have a guy to stay around for at least 18 months to help Yeah, to help Fend off the predators and whatnot right and then he leaves after 18 months

Which is why the honeymoon phase dies after 18 months felt such shame and like shit after a number of one night stands I can't imagine what the ladies wants to feel with all this Have you have you mostly felt that or yeah, mostly because you did it because you didn't call them It's because I didn't want to have to call them But it wasn't because of the sex I mean the sex of the time is great, right? Yeah, I mean I think a lot of guys just were great as soon as I get down whether I could actually have insects with a stranger or You know looking at not when you're like with somebody and you're actually in a relationship

But I think a lot of guys like the stranger you finish like you don't look at the internet. You're like yeah No, I know You want the person. You're like, yeah No, I know You want the person to leave? Oh, yeah, that's what I was doing there place Right, does that what guys like I'll come to your place? I've got a few one night's dance But they were consensual and it was like usually when I'm traveling and I know I'll never see you get anyway Mexico Exactly, one night's dinner was like two nights. It was one night. I love him. I forgot about I didn't forget about him But he lasted well, let's see if you date someone for dates one for a night

They say it takes half the relationship to get over it So I knew him for 12 hours. It took me a good six hours Think how we did a show right after that because I wouldn't forgotten the whole story my brain's like a sieve He was a sweetheart. Yeah, I've had some great travel stories though, but that's uh, and I don't feel guilty about it, but I understand what people do. Um, and that's another reason I got to tell you, I knew this as a, as a young girl when I was in college. I would never have a one night stand because my brain was like, I knew for some reason that if I ever did, I would never want to guide it feel like, oh, I was with Emily and I didn't, I attached

them. I banged her any color or I used her or I would feel used. I already was thinking ahead thinking I don't want them to think like I had Emily. That's the exact. And then maybe it's sort of a, in a way, I'm a feminist, but also it's kind of like what couldn't I've said I'm having sex for my sake, but I wasn't mature. I was didn't think that way. Then I just thought, I don't want this guy to think Emily check off the list. I was trying to. It was more of like an ego, you know. Articulate that on your show with you A couple weeks ago about how I would feel with with girls after like we broke up or like when we're still friends Whatever I really cared about them

But like I didn't want to be romantically involved with them anymore But I was really fearful of them being taken advantage of by bad guys Right, I'm sure I was projecting myself on these bad guys as well But that's I didn't want guys wandering around out there because I had such respect for these these girls And I like that so much in certain areas and I didn't't want these strangers out there going, yeah, I banged that bitch. Right, I was like, it's a big, exactly. I got her one night. I don't know if other women would be interested in this.

But does that make me a misogynist? It might make me a misogynist. No, no, you know more of it. Because why can't she be like- It's twisted. Well, women, what do you mean? Why can't she be like, I wanted that. Yeah, like I could see a feminist really being a feminist group with me.

A lot of women do say that. Absolutely. Women can be bent. I thought I was a feminist. I was later on in college, I was more so, but even then, I would have equated this feeling to that, to being like, I could just have sex for my sex sake. I wasn't as empowered then sexually at all. I really was thinking like a lot of women still do, unfortunately, and I'm trying to change that.

That sex was more for the guy. I was giving it to him that there was no way that I'd walk around going, I bang that guy. Right, and you don't want to be careful of that too. You don't want to do that because that's, I mean, we're from working on a love line for a low-shears and you've gotten the training and you understand and we're working with Drew and that is a fine line of women

that do that a lot of the time there is from trauma in the past and they can't just be empowered by, right? Right, but hopefully, you know, that character on Sex and the City was dangerous right another thing about this show another thing that this show is about though is really trying for men and women just to feel healthier about their sexual decisions and to have a healthy sex life being sexually healthy and process it right okay we're gonna take a quick break we're gonna give a shot to our sponsors who we love by the way you know I only work with people that I love sponsors I've tried the toys toys. I've tried the food. I've done it all. I like it.

And hopefully you will too. Thanks for supporting them. We'll be right back. Okay, emails. Love the emails. If you have a question, you want me to answer on the show. I love it. Just submit them at sexwithm.le.com. Click on the ask Emily tab belt. The form hits submit. That's it. We get it. We read themle.com. Click on the Ask Emily tab, fill out the form, hit submit, that's it. We get it, we read them all, we read them on the show. You can also select the fact, the select the fact. Select the box that says call. And we will set up a time to call so you can call

into the show and then I can get down and deep on your problems and your issues and help you. I love that, you can also leave us a voicemail. Eight one eight, ask, ask, W-E-1. As always, include information that will help me, your name, your age, where you use a fake name that's cool, but where you live, how you listen to the show. Yes.

Ready? Emily, love, love, love the show. Love your confidence, and you inspire me to be sexy, which is great for me and my man. My question, how do I get my bad boy turned good to want to treat me like a dirty little horror because it totally turns me on? Back story. Before we met, we had a past that included drug and... before we met, he had a past that included drug and due sexual relations that were probably

pretty wild. Think, tweaker sex. He totally turned his life round when we have been together two plus years married in August 2016. We have great sex now and it's not like we only do missionary, but I could take it up a notch on occasion just because I love having sex with them and we would love to try and do all kinds of things. I just think you might be a little turned off about treating me like some kind of some of the girls he was with in the past. Is there a way to help him to let go and let me be his dirty girl and his wife? Thanks, please don't use my name. I don't want to stuff out there. Love you girl and menace and Anderson

Do you threw the Anderson in there? Dude, you absolutely did. But you're throwing securities. I'm absolutely interested. Phones is Anderson. If it just said menace, I wouldn't say it. To be honest, that's happened. Okay, I'm giving you shit, but I caught you doing that once before. But you caught me doing it?

No, but this time I was- Who's early in the show that when I first started doing this? No, because I'm giving you shit, but I caught you doing that once before. But I'm good. You caught me doing it? No, but this time I was early in the show that when I first started doing this. No, I probably did do that. And for now. And I caught you. She for real said, man, it's an interesting. This is very interesting.

A very interesting email. I like this one a lot. Yeah, oh good. I'm so glad. So yeah, I mean, I think the first thing I thought was that I was gonna hold Madonna. A whore thing where some guys are like. Madonna.

You know, the guy who,, I know there's a drug thing and that's a little different too, but once you get married, you look at your partner and you think she's my wife now, I can't have dirty crazy sex with her. Yeah, that's a whole different thing. That's a whole different thing, but also with the drugs.

For those of you who might not know, or maybe you too, but what tweaking sex, whether it's twosacks or cocaine sex. Talk about twekey sex. It just goes on and on and on to the point of absurdity. Guy has a really hard time finishing and you gotta ramp it up and get it to, you gotta take it to different levels that are more increasingly thrillish for you to be able

to actually complete whether it's putting in different places or doing different positions or having porn, it's got to become more and more extreme. And that only gets worse as you travel down the drug road with the person. And that's, that makes a lot of sense. Sometimes it takes six, seven hours. And it's just not fun.

And at the time, I guess that you can look back on it as fun, crazy sex, but it's not fun for him. So he's kind of, so he's afraid that if he does engage, he opens up this case. She's like, I want it to go crazy. He's gonna be like, I'm gonna back slide. I would think that it's trigger. Yeah, it's trigger. It could be a trigger. So part of his recovery, totally like, I don't want to have that kind of sex again. Maybe he shut down that part of himself. But that's not totally fair because there's so many different ways of having crazy sex. You know that if everyone, anyone knows it, right?

And so she might need to show you do actually, okay? You're gonna need to lead the way and let him know that you know, you love being with him, all that, that formation, sex, because it is great and you love having sex with him. But you're gonna have to get him work, you're gonna have to work with him. I think to get through the shame and the guilt

and the fear that he's gonna backslide into this kind of behavior or that kind of sex. You know when you've done things in the past, you just kind of shard off, like that wasn't me or I've never had any. Yeah, compartmentalized. Sometimes it's so awful, you can't even accept it as your own, which is a problem and you should. Right, exactly. You should work it out in therapy, but most of it was done and never do that. Exactly, so he's going to need to know that this is something that's important to you.

So I'm not sure again, but the loudspe of people that email I'm not sure if you have even have talked to him about sex yet I don't know this cave you guys have broached the topic, but he's been you know Sober now for what two and a few years and sex is important So maybe there's a there's a way to Introduce it to a maybe he needs some suggestions because he probably doesn't have the I he probably doesn't even know what like you mean Maybe when you say you want to take it up a notch, he probably just equates it to this. Faster, harder. So I think that you, maybe this is a great time

for whatever you're picturing. Okay, like if there's fantasies, or when you say take it up a notch, do you mean using a sex toy? Do you mean having sex outdoors? Do you mean what? Sounds like degradation to me. Sounds like that's kind of where she's at.

Oh, Dirty Little Horror. Thank you. You want some domination. She wants to, you know, maybe like, have a finish on her face or call her names, maybe slap me and choking. Yeah. And all that's like dirty, and transcesses.

And she said, Dirty Little Horror. I don't think it has to be drugs. I've had that sex and not on drugs. What? I've had sex like that, not on drugs. Yeah, I know, but I'm sure that okay. So she needs to redefine a form now. You're married. You guys are in this and so I think that he might need some boundaries here and he might need to know exactly where you're going with this. So

I would say if you want, let's say you want to be tied up, you have a fancy of him using cough sign, you blindfolded you and spanking you. Let's just say that. Maybe you guys go shopping or you go online, you order like some handcuffs. You go to the sports sheet stuff, which I love, which is really easy to use under bed restraints or just get some, leave them under your bed, you know, all the time I love you, cuff right yourself up.

And he might need to know like this is the scenario, you might need to walk them through it and tell them that it's safe with you. And this is the kind of sex you want. Because he might, if you just leave it to him and say let's spice it up. He'll take it back to me. I'll be right back. Yeah, make me a just leave it to him and say, let's spice it up. He'll take it back to the end. Yeah.

Make me a little whore. He, it's scary. So what you're saying is make it her own thing. Make it like have her, make it about you, her fingerprints on everything. And it's her stuff. It's like different colors, different styles, different materials. And yeah, and he can learn to love it. I mean, he can put that what he was into before.

Perhaps it wasn't just about the drugs. There's ways to find joy in things that you used to take pleasure in. A lot of people are sober now who's still like going to parties. Right. Not as much. But, but you know, we're still like doing things they did when they were messed up. So I think that you're going to have to really talk to them. And he might need permission again, even to know that it's safe to go there with you.

So, right. But then there is the whole other side of this where it might be just one of those traditional guys who always thought that, you know, he's going to be, you know, treat women like that. That's why I said, I'm going to have to spray these things. That's why I said the lady in the sheets. I think they're just saying it's like the lady in the streets, the freaking the sheets, like I don't want my, if I want them married.

That's a whole different thing, right? I don't know, I don't know what kind of advice you give for that. Yeah, well, like for that, I think a lot of it is, sometimes people don't change, like if you grew up in a very, like really just background, you hold that very tight to you for some people, like, you know, all the talking in the world, you can't change someone's deep beliefs or shame they have around sex.

So a lot of guys who feel that way, well, once you're my wife, I can't, I mean, I know with you, I can't tie you up because I respect you, the mother and my child, you know, there's a lot of guys. And you're speaking about compartmentalizing. I know a lot of people who like when they're kids, they're kids and they do this and that's okay.

And then as soon as they're adult, all that's behind me and now things are going to be like this. And I can become different people. And I think men and women, I'm really good at compartmentalizing as well, but we can do it. Some people can do it more easier than others. So I think if you guys,

if you're involved in the whole like, why won't my husband just like spank me or tie me up or throw me against the wall? You need to, again, you need to talk to him, you need to let him know that this is something that you desire, but there's probably some issues beneath that that could be shame and guilt that came from wherever he gets these feelings

religion, how he was raised, that might need some therapy, some deeper unraveling. Maybe listen to this episode. Listen to this episode, you guys, people listen, a lot of couples listen to this show together. It's fun, go on a road trip Maybe listen to this episode. Listen to this episode. You guys, people listen. A lot of couples listen to this show together. It's fun. Go on a road trip.

Listen to 12 hours of sex family. I get those emails all the time. And then they come back. How many people have been conceived that are walking around today that we're conceived to this show? Oh my God. I will turn. I will turn.

A little 10 year olds out there. Yeah. There are time. Email me if you've conceived. Listen. I should send them a t-shirt. Yeah. I had sex only and I got the t-shirt, but it's not for you to prove you're a baby. My parents banged to sex only and all I got is this onesie.

The onesies, no one's going to put their kid in the sex onesie. But that's a good point. Okay, another email. Thank you, Kay, for that. This is what I'd like to hear all of this goes. I really would. I mean, I always want to hear. You guys should follow up.

Okay, anal enges. I can't talk about anal enges enough. What? Okay. Hi, Emily.ges. Can't talk about anal enges enough. Okay, hi Emily, I don't know, I'm a huge fan of yours. I've been a listener for a long time. I'm a 29, but do you have a child? I want to have your child. I'm a 29 year old male who is single.

I don't have as much success with dating as I do with hookups. Although that's something I want to change. I do have a question about sex. I'm a huge fan of giving anal enges to my partners. I consider it my biggest fetish. What are your thoughts on it? Also, a woman has never gotten it and you want to try it with her. How would you touch on the topic? So she's comfortable touch. Thank you. I knew you were gonna do that. Thank you. Keep doing what you're doing You make a huge difference with your work. Thanks again. Sean. Thank you, Sean

For all the great words there, that was really sweet. And let's get into the main oligis. Okay, so if you don't know what an oligis is, it's basically it's these to call it rimming. I think they just call it, they still do. Tossin' the salad, people say. Well, now tossin' the salad, I think is more when you, that's also licking, yeah, that's all,

what else, do they call it? Rim, rim, rim, it's licking the anus, okay? Licking the anus, okay? Licking the anus, licking around it, teasing with your tongue. That's what we're talking about. If you look at making menage, you know all about it. Yeah. So here's the thing about it.

The reason why you know, it does feel good for many men and women because there's so many nerve endings there. Just like anal sex, it feels, can feel wonderful. You want to know how to do it if a woman has never been into it, consensual. You got to make it consensual. You got to make it consensual. You got to make sure she's okay with it. You cannot force it upon her. You can't just stick your tongue there.

If you're not certain with it, you can always just, you know, say to her like, I really want to lick your ass when you're having a beautiful and around. I want to lick you. I want to, I want to taste you, I want to lick your, what? I mean, do it. Put your finger there like, I really want to, I say that shit all the time. Women say it. What? Or have a, you know, have a, put your finger there. Like, I really want to, I say that shit all the time. Women say it. What? Or have a, you don't have a, I like I would say.

I was like, in the, in the throws of sex, or it's just like over dinner. I typically say, if you need to have a talk around sex, do it the next day, do it ever, or breakfast, don't do it in the moment. But this is the kind of thing you can clearly tell if someone's into it and be like, I think it'd be so hot to taste you, you know,

taste your, but thank you. Oh, I, if she's like, I'm it'd be so hot to taste you, you know, taste your butt. Oh, and if she's like, I'm not into that, then you don't. Or you can also, if you're comfortable with this person, you'd be like, well, so what do you think about anal play? Like, I think that's a super out of the way to do it. Then you don't have to be shot down in the moment. And that would make you feel comfortable.

Might use your bonershot. I don't know how you can handle these things. So you have to figure out the best way for you, but you don't just want to force it upon her. No, of course you don't force it because that's assault. Right. But like you don't want to just keep it like into just want it. And you shouldn't get creative with it. Like, you know, like, uh, by mistakes, I spill some chocolate there and go, I'll get it. You know what I mean? But you could probably kind of, I think you could work your way down towards it. Maybe like brush with your finger and kind of like, you know, be really in tune

with her and figure out if she's responding to that in a good way. And then you can maybe kind of make your way from like top down to bottom and like slowly but surely make sure you don't go back and forth though. Don't go back and forth. No, back and forth. No, back and forth. No, as to mouth, mouth, as to mouth. Right.

As to mouth. Okay. As to mouth. No, that's true too. That was my other suggestion is that you could be going down in our like you normally do. I'm sure you do Sean. You're licking. You're doing your thing and then you start to use your in our, like you normally do. I'm sure you do, Sean. You're licking, you're doing your thing,

and then you start to use your hands. She'll push you away. You know, you put your finger on her perennium, like see how that feels, maybe you start, and then you start using your to the taint. And then you start, like, maybe, yeah, rubbing with your finger, and then it's true. Some guys might just, like, lick, lick, lick,

and oops, my tongue just, like, you know, and if she's cool with it, it's really like time was that long, sorry. No, but I mean, the truth is, I'm just telling you, if you're not sure, I'm telling you like the right way, you could do it, like a very safe way. But I know there's plenty of women that you just lick there and they won't stop you and they'll know that it's okay.

And if you're reading her along the way, Sean, even though it sounds like you're more hooking up than dating, right? Yeah. So it might be hard to kind of learn. Right, if it's just like a hook up, but I think that people are are I feel like people are more open to anal play now than they were 10 years ago But that doesn't mean every single woman, but just remember that cleanliness is essential It's great to start with a shower bath condom on your tongue condom on your tongue right people don't use a dental dam They really don't again great for play

Because they don't work him I think you are terrible. It's not technically you're not even touching anyone. It's like, you can almost do that with a hooker and go, I can't, I didn't do anything. No, that's not true. And we never touched. There was a dental dam between us. No, actually, I gotta be honest,

they feel good dental dams. Like, I think the fabric one on a clitoris doesn't matter. There's a thing called anyl dam. No, but it would be the same thing that you use on your, and the dental dam, which is like a condom, but it's flat, like a sheet. Where do you even get those? I've never seen one sex toy stores First time I ever heard of one was like kid have heard about them since you cut the tip off of the condom And then you cut it lengthwise and then you open it up and there you have a car either you're a math

Yeah, I know I know I had to do that a square when that yeah, yeah, I would be a square There you go you have well you pay to have condoms, but you all have dental dams and if you have a pair of scissors and you got condoms. Yeah, you got down to them Sullivan no good back to the but no cell phone is no good. You could suffocate the anus Uh, no, it's just not a safe. Okay, listen Okay, so if it's clean listen Anderson. Yeah, no nothing that stuff get the whole thing um, okay, so that's stuff. Get the whole thing. Okay, so. 10 foil robot. No, 10 foil is not good.

Start by teasing your explorer and her thighs, her butt warmer up like always. I just would not want a guy to go right to Anelplay. That's just me. That'd be weird. I actually had that happen. Did you really? Straight to the butt.

And then that's a recent past. Yeah. And the recent past. And then not so distant past. And then not so distant past. Right. Not too long ago. That's a recent future. Somebody went straight for your bum. I was like, what? Really? Like, can we just start with the boot touch my boobs? It was, so I think we all know this except for this guy went out

with one. But, um, one time. Not twice. So warm up with more play. Please tell me that the, the, the straight for the butt happened the second time, not the first time. Second time. Okay, good.. I question you if it was the first time and then you have a second Never do anything on the first day not never kidding. I have but I of course you have It wasn't like I got it one straight for the bottom. No, no, we had a lovely date We might have made out on the first date and then you ask like what what this is a really funny story I can't get into it now though, but I remind me tell the story. It's a great story and I'm ready to tell it. It's a longer story I'm not gonna help you. I have no idea where I even

I'm gonna mind us maybe Okay, here's the position because she's asking you are you asking me how to do it? Are you just asking me how to do it? Do you want to know? How to do it? Can I get more into it? So anyway, you know there's lots of nerve endings It can be huge turn on for her positions you can layer layer at her back, like you could put a pillow under her back. So she can lay back and spread her legs open.

She could also be like laying, yeah. So she could have a pillow, get it, and she's elevated. So without her backs or butts up, she could also toss her legs back. And like I said, start with her prinium, like you would kind of linger slide down. And you lick.

You lick very gently, you use your tongue, you can just kind of poke, and then you can kind of tell if she wants more, if she moving towards you, is she moving away from you? I have anal cavity here, I wrote. I wrote this down, I was like taking a lick. And so you're tongue and your partner's anal, I wrote anal cavity, just came out.

Don't do that, don't write that. I very much so that I love. Do you ever say the anal cavity? I've been dentist, don't do that. Usually I only talk about that if somebody's like using a prison purse, you know, I mean, or being certain. What's a prison purse? The anal cavity.

Oh, your anal cavity. Yeah, but I want to talk about it in these terms as well. Trying to make it sex. When you are pushing the anal cavity, but it's into your tongue, like around gentle gentle. You always want to go gently, gentle, soft, slow, and then save you a more. But that's how you do it, warm it up, warming up just works for so many things. Don't go right for the ainess, too be continued.

Okay, we've got some, another email here. Dear Emily, I really enjoy biting my partner's chest slash shoulders during intercourse, and find that it helps keep me in the physical moment losing physical contact between my mouth and my partner's body and mouth tends to result in me thinking more about the fact that I'm having sex instead of feeling I'm sitting fully feeling physically present this is for the woman by the way if you try to think of this my previous Incurrent partner have been not been a fan of the marks left on their chest in the aftermath

Do you have any other suggestions for other physical actions? I might try that won't result in physical aftermath, but can keep me in the moment do suggestions for doggy cell type positions as well Thanks Liz age 26. Wow. Have you ever had one for you? Oh, yeah I don't mean to say like that, but yeah, and it marks, I've been left and the only time it's really problematic if there's other people in the mix, right? Right. Or if it's really super noticeable outside the shirt, you know, or I don't want to go to work the next day with Hickey's over my arm or neck. But it's so weird, I get this like a connection with the mouth and it's so primitive.

It is, it's so primal, it really is. But it's like, I get it. And I- It comes from these primal animals. It comes from that, I'm feeling this pleasure and I really want this connection. I used to be a bite. This actually reminded me that I was a biter. I'm not a biter anymore, but I remember several boyfriends in a row.

It was a funny thing. They call over. Do you see this? They lift their shirt and they bite all over them. I did that. I really wouldn't remember that. No. I mean, they lived their shirt and they think bites all over that. I was like, I did that, I really wouldn't remember that. You remember that? No, I mean-

Fungus State. They said I bit them, I was like, I did not bite them. I'm like, oh yeah, but I really was out of my mouth. I was like not in the moment, I would bite. And luckily, they all kind of found it kind of- Right, funny, I mean, and it wasn't like in, you know, Markville places, but- Sounds like she's got a few partners,

and they probably have a few partners, you know? That could be it, I get it though, like, sometimes it feels involuntary, like it's a way, Mark will places, but- Sounds like she's got a few partners, and they probably have a few partners, you know? That could be it. I get it though, like, sometimes it feels involuntary. Like, it's a way of her connecting it. Maybe her guys didn't, that's true. These days, I guess, maybe a lot, she's, he's, they're dating other people. Right.

I- Many 20s? Yeah, yeah, she's 26. So, but we're asking, I get what you're saying about keeps you in the moment, keeps you present, turned on. That, like, raw energy of just having sex and the orgasm, the intense physical connection, can really, the pain also for guys too,

that you're giving, that can also help with endorphins. Did you feel anything when they were doing it to you? I mean, I was aware of it. It might have taken me out a little bit of anything, but it was a good sign. Right, but it was a good sign. Right. So it was a good sign. Right, it's a good sign, right?

If there was somebody else in, if I wasn't in a committed relationship, I would be, I can't maybe a little bit worried at that moment too, like going, oh geez. These were my, I'm thinking this was by committed partners, which has been a long time, so yeah, it was a while ago, but you're right, I could see that big of a problem.

So I did things I thought about that. Maybe you want to be bitten during sex. A lot of times we gave what we want to receive. So Liz, I'm wondering if you want to be bitten. I think that some guys can think like biting, like if they bite you, it can lead to like punishment or pain for the partners. They might not be biting you back,

but it does cause a rush of endorphins, blood to your genitals, makes women's orgasm stronger, so I'm curious if it's something that you want as well, just that just came to me. And also if you're into maybe more like, I'm just asking for alternative. So I think like a ball gag, maybe if you're restrained,

like if there's some other physical force on you or like if you could bite down and something, or if your hands are back, you'd be feeling the force of the, or if he's using his hands or if the handcuffs, I'm holding my arm, you know, that might be a way to kind of amoning really loudly and really like screaming, or like getting it out there, like I do that as well.

I don't think I bite ammo. I think we have started to get louder and not bite. I'm trying to, this is very interesting. I bet there's something else that works. And like if you could just try a bunch of different things like in a, just in a comfortable setting, what should be hard hard because it's in the throes of passion right right? It's really hard to kind of do a control test there It's true

But maybe just like holding him real tight from behind while biting your own hand or something Yeah, or biting like a blogger Sensation. Yeah, that might do the trick Or bite them somewhere we're known to see it except for you I don't know if that's why they don't like the biting. I don't know if it's because they are afraid of living marks because they're actually. I always want to be upset about it unless it hurts, right?

I don't know. I mean, there's a lot of reasons. It happened to multiple guys in your life and they all thought it was funny. But I was that because I'm that great of a lover. No, I know. They never were upset, but they were boyfriends. I don't know.

So I think you could try moaning. You could try other forms of dominant. I just think you might want to be dominant. What? You know what this probably is? And this is totally just a blind stab in the dark because I'm not a scientist, even though I like science. This could be like leaving the mark.

Like this could come from a place where you're trying to mark your partner. Yeah, I think perhaps. So that this is a very primal activity. They are taking off the market. This person has a sex mark by me. I mean, I think, well, here's the thing. I think that men could think,

I've heard guys say that like, oh, she did this. They're like, he's to mark me. There's a lot of reasons here, you know? So yeah, you're right though, maybe she is. But I don't think so, I think like it is, because just because I have, I was saying, I'm a victim of my victims of my biting, that I wasn't doing it.

I lost her finger. All right, I was gonna ask about that. But I would, they'd have marked some, and I was like, oh, it's not horrible, but I'm just saying, it wasn't trying that. I lost a finger. All right, I was gonna ask about that. But I would, they'd have marked some, and I was like, oh, it's not horrible, but I'm just saying, I, it wasn't trying to mark them, but sure that there's a lot of different scenarios here, but you're asking how not to do this anymore, and try to replace it.

So I'm giving you some suggestions here that could be great. You also asked me about Doggy Style. I cannot speak highly enough about the sport sheets, Doggy Style strap, which was like US. For alternative doggy style, it's that. It'll be at a 45 degree angle, it's a 90 degree angle. It's a belt that the strap goes around your pelvic area.

Well, he can hold you and kind of move you around in different ways that it just is hitting your spots and his spots because for a lot of women, doggy style is just not as comfortable. It supports your pelvis so you don't have to be on a fours, take the pressures off your knees and wrists, and it makes it easier. You can use your hands and your self.

You can pleasure because you're not holding up your weight. Like, think about it. He's holding the strap. Like, he's pulling on your pelvis. Do you got it? Doggy style strap. You can also try the style lying down in your stomach, place a pillow or a sex wedge.

I love the sex wedge underneath your pelvis. So it elevates it, have your parts or enter you from behind lying on top of you or kneeling between your legs. It's great to kind of just have these pillows around. Like have sex pillows in your bed or a wedge. I'm telling you, the elevation works for if performing oral sex, either on you, on him,

or on you, she, she, whatever. Whenever you want the pelvis up more, you put a pillow under your back. Who doesn't have a pillow? Everybody's got pillows or you could buy pillows that are just for sex like the sex wedge, which is awesome. Liberator makes them. They're super cool. So anything. Yes.

Have you ever heard any excuses as to why people have higgies? I can't have you ever had like a boyfriend who like has hikis. Since I was like 17, I need to be able to do it. I remember, when I was at for college, I was with a girl for a minute and she had hikis. And I, not for me.

Not for me. And she told me that she was on a golf course and got hit in the neck. That was her lie. Oh, so people liked one of those guys. I've never heard of this. No. I had another friend.

I remember she was a girl and she was freaked out. She had a boyfriend, she had Hickey's, and she was trying to come up with excuses, and she came up with some kind of suction cup that was in her kitchen. And she was cleaning her dishes with. And she's like, you think you'll buy it? I said that I stuck it on my neck, and I'm like,

no, he's not gonna buy that. That's a Hickey. That's a Hickey. The golf ball was the best, though. That's a good one. I just hate you right there. I'm like, you don't even golf. What are you talking about?

She's like, I'm a golfing one with my friend. I'm like, did he give you a Hickey when you went to open with him? This is your girlfriend or your friend? That was a good one. I just hate you right there. You don't even call. What are you talking about? She's like, I'm a call for one of my friends. Did he give you a hickey when you went to open with him? This is your girlfriend? Or your friend? That was a girl out there. The blood vessels doesn't usually have, you can't really hide them either. You just wear a turtle next to her like a month.

For girls, curling ones. Curling ones. Oh. I'm like, Mark. This is literally, they don't look like bruises, but they're dark. That's true. I've had a really bad, like, and you got blamed for people who are like, That's true. Right. I've had a really bad, like, like, a lot of people are like,

at the Hickey, and I was like, no, I swear to, like, it was like for my straightness, like, a perfect, like, I actually shaved once, and I got like a little bit of an abrasion, and I was dating a very insecure girl, and she didn't talk to me again after that.

I was fine with it, because she was kind of pain in the ass, but she was certain that I was cheating on her. I don't like that. All right, people are so, I was thinking, if I knew that, I would have shaved that way three weeks ago. Right.

So you just think for ways to make ourselves miserable. I mean, we don't know we are, but we're so worried about cheating and about our partners being faithful to drive away self-affilling prophecy. Sorry, they haven't been not sorry. Sorry, not sorry for you. Okay, another email? We have time for one more. One more?

Okay. Hi, Emily. I've been divorced for five to ten years, which one? I mean, like, have you been divorced five years or ten years? Well, sometimes I can tell you that. Sometimes divorces take around five years. So maybe they got separated, began the process, and then it took about five years. I get it.

Okay. We'll say seven and a half maybe, but I've had several physical relationships that were strictly FWBs, funds, benefits. I was fine with having one foot out the door due to trust issues. My ex-wife left me for another man. However, I recently met an amazing woman that captivates my head and heart more than my libido. She's recently out of a five-year relationship that ended because he had an affair.

I don't want to brush anything physically because we've so much fun and have so much in common that I don't want to scare her off or end up being in another loveless physical relationship. We've acknowledged we like each other for all the same reasons, but since her last relationship was less than a year ago, I'm worried that it's gonna rebound. I guess that you'll be the rebound is what you're worried about.

The topic of sex hasn't come up. We haven't had our first kiss and oddly enough, I'm fine with that. I'm excited to make out like hormone bursting high schoolers when the time is right. Maybe I'll give her Hickey. How can I proceed and not fall into the permanent friend zone? George age 45 California. Okay George, I understand you want to take it slow and don't want the front the dreaded friend zone. I swear to God I feel like that's one of the top dating questions over the years. That happened in the 40s and 50s.

It's funny. No, it's funny. You don't think about that, but oh yeah, it happens. It happens. I do it. I've done it. Not on purpose, but yes, for sure. It happens all the time.

I've been friend zone. They've been friend zone the whole thing. I don't think it ever stops because the reason why people go into the friend zone, I think typically is because for me, I think that like when I would do it, I'm not saying I have a problem doing it now in some way, but not consciously, but it's because you want the attention of a suitor, you want someone who's after you, but yet I don't want to be in a relationship.

But I want that guy who's there for me. And I always call it the bullpen. Yeah, and it's not fair. And it's not fair, the person, you know, so I think that it does happen all times in life. And I think that we're, you know, they're not conscious of it. I was never like, oh, I want you to be my friend. Now I've just tried to make it a lot clearer.

And now I am a lot clearer. I think also I might have been in the past like, oh, maybe I will. They will happen. They're bound really. But here's the idea, of course, but there's a delicate balance between being a friend but making it clear that you desire her. And I think the guys, if you are falling to the Renzone. I've been in the friends zone, Yeah. Yeah. I don't see

you as the friend zone guy, but wait to stay the friends. I never Yeah, I didn't say the friend. Actually, a couple of friends I have kept it in the friend zone. Yeah, they're still good friends with my and you can point pick them out because they're in my wedding photos. Okay. I they're invited in my wedding. Okay. But the other ones, no, I didn't want anyone that I had sex with that. But he also has to take into account. So you with this one that, you know, she's coming out of a divorce that was involved in a fair.

And he did trust issues. But so does he? So his ended five to 10 years ago. But we doing know why. But she had his wife had a fair husband had a fair. So the kind of the same place. Yeah, no, but they're kind of his, his was five to 10 years ago, 20. So they fall into the friends.

Don't I think when they act like friends? Like you literally like you feel like you act like a friend You feel a car car with gas. You're there when she's bored You listen to the airport you listen to her rant about her for friends at she hates her ex-boyfriends You're available when she's bored and wants to hang so essentially become a friend So I think the steps that you have to take does not be the friends zone is you have to make your intentions clear So you said that you've both acknowledged there's an attraction and I get you're concerned and what if she's a right If you're rebound and what if she's not over yet. I get all that, but you have to make it clear You have to let her know that like you find her attractive that there's chemistry. You're cool taking it slow But your interests are you know, you're finding your friend, but you're a tractor

You find her attractive, you know, you're finding your friend, but you're a Traktor. You find or attractive. You know, like, you know, you can even say, I don't wanna be a rebound, but I find you, like keep letting you know that you desire in that way. This is what Valentine's Day could be good for. What? Because you can make your intentions knowing on that day.

It's a romantic day. That's true. You can give her a Valentine's Day card. Sure. I know you're 45, and it seems kind of childish, but you can maybe like, right now, get a nice reservation at a nice, that's true. But you also have the it seems kind of childish, but you can maybe like you right now get a nice reservation at a nice That's true

But it you also have the chance of this blowing up because I think that if she has trust issues what she probably does He does too, but I don't think it's quite as intense for guys to have this picture. He's got 25 years to get over it Right no to 510 right, but she Might value their relationship so much that she doesn't want to muck it up And I think that is a real thing sometimes that is really really good. Find out. But I think he should find out if that is true. Because you don't want to waste your time having her like she's there. There's a chemistry because they haven't even kissed yet. And maybe this is a little

premature because it sounds like you haven't even kissed her yet. But you're asking me how to avoid the friend zone. I'm telling you. So make it clear. And don't like another reason why guys fall in the friend zone is because they try too hard. And you might not realize you're doing this because you do, he does care about her. He wants to listen to her. He, you know, he wants to, like, be there for her.

But again, the women do it or guys do it because we want the attention. We want someone there who's like, gives us that rush of someone who likes us, but we don't get the energy that we listen to. Yeah, all the benefits without the messiness of sex which you probably can go out and get some Rose right exactly and he'll always be there and you're gonna know if this exists because it doesn't exist in a relationship Which we're reciprocal so if you feel like you're the one who's only giving and she's not giving you back the same

Behavior yeah, get out. You know, you're trying too hard sound like George is really falling for it I know I know George you are and too hard. Sounds like George is really falling for her though. I know, I know. George, you are. And I think that, here's the other thing. I think we also think, well, I don't want to be the rebounder. There's plenty of cases where people break up with someone and they, and it works out. I know a lot of people are like, yeah, I met them the day after I broke up with Max and we've been together for, you know,

my mom, we were talking about this. So her husband of 32 years now, she met him two days after she broke up with the guy that she was dating for a year and a half and She was devastated and she wasn't gonna go out that night. She met my stepdad So I'm just saying these things happen and she was in her forties, so maybe she is a surreal monogamous So you could yeah exactly she might be ready for it I don't know So I think that the way you do is like I said make your intentions clear

You can still be a good friend and not be in the friend zone. Good advice, Anne. Thank you Anderson. You too. Good advice from your end as well. Thanks. Good to have you here as a man and a friend. I don't like it when I don't come in here for three weeks. No, it has a bit long. Do I get put on time out? Do you guys? Well, no, we don't time out, you. No, I don't get suspended for a couple weeks. No, no, you don't. We don't do it. No, we, we, we, we don't time out you. No, I don't get to spend it for a couple of weeks. No, you don't. We don't do it. No, we, we, we, we, we, I have a rotation. I know you do. But I love you.

I want to see you. That's why I don't leave marks on your mic when I'm here. I appreciate it. I love that you're here and congratulations on your, all your amazing stuff. Thank you very much. Really? And thank you.

Thank you everyone for listening. I love you all. Happy Valentine's Day. It's coming up. Yeah, just here, like in a few days. So listening. I love you all. Happy Valentine's Day. It's coming up. Yeah, just here like in a few days. So yeah, sending you love to love. Thank you to Madison and Eddie and Jamie and Lori and Ken. I love you all and thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithamely.com you