Sex With Emily - Dirty Talk

Episode Date: October 21, 2011

Free Friday: Emily is going to New York City and gives Menace his "special" birthday gift, does "sexting" qualify as cheating? Does penis size matter? Small town women vs. big city women and who won the Treasure Island Music Festival raffle for Jimmyjane products and Emily's book Hot Sex Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because, uh, my man, he here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard for me. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, not only? What do you mean, like, laundry? It's drinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. think you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm off here. I'm so gone. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. Sneak. You're listening to Sex with Emily.

We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. Happy free Friday everyone. Thanks for joining us on our free Friday show. We love having you here. It's been a great week of shows of sex family. You know, we do shows Monday, Tuesday and Thursday and Fridays is free for all. Free for all.

Hey, men, it's what up? What's going on? Oh my God, I'm so excited. Your voice level is so high. But that's fine. Oh, are you judging me? It's fine. I'm never judging you ever.

I never judge you. I know. I love you. What are you talking about? Yeah, it's our free Friday show. I'm very excited. It's beautiful outside. There are so many hot men. Tiana, my intern, I were walking here and it's like so many hot men in downtown San Francisco. So, Tiana knows that. Something that would totally be interested in. Well, there's hot chicks too, but we weren't checking them out. I'm just saying. I love a man of suit. A man of suit. Yeah, men and suits with a pinky ring. You're really into that.

With the pinky rings, I don't even know what you're talking about. It was so funny. One time I was with this girl and just like, oh, yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to meet up with this guy. And I want you to, I want you to be around when I, when I meet up with him. We're going to go out. We were like having a pre meeting, something with work up with him, we're gonna go out. We were having a pre-meeting, something with work, and then she was gonna go out with this guy.

Guy shows up, wearing a suit, and the guy was wearing a pinky ring. And then I said to her, I go, is that guy a car salesman? Oh, menace. And she's like, he's a used car salesman. For real? For real? I can spot. I can spot. I don't never dated a man with a pinky ring ever in my life. I'm pretty good. Like I can look at that. There's anything wrong with that. I do not judge. I can I can look pretty much look at them and know what they do. Okay.

Or have a kind of get close. You think you got that. Yeah, like, you know, so all your ex-girlfriends with fake boobs, I'm gonna probably think they're strippers. Well, now, but they didn't have fake boobs. Oh, they weren't strippers then? Oh. I've never had them. You date, I know.

I never had, I never dated a stripper. Never. Okay, but they all have fake boobs. That means anything. Somebody asked me if I had fake boobs yesterday. Someone's like, are you, are they real? Wasn't that nice? Cause they're so real.

Why? Why would they ask you that? I don't know. They're like, I thought they were fake. Where are you showing us your cleavage? Well, kind of. Not on purpose. It wasn't on purpose.

It was like a totally not purposeful thing. Let me tell you about today's show. So. Because you never do that. I never do what. Show cleavage. I never show cleavage or talk about the show. I do show cleavage sometimes, but here's the deal.

Today's show, we're so excited. So as we've been talking about our week, we were at the Treasure Island Music Festival last week on which was awesome. And next week, you're going to get to hear the live show that we did there. It's this amazing festival. There was lots of art pieces and lots of amazing bands and stuff like that. And we did this confessional booth. And it was called Carnal Confessions. And people came from, we got hundreds of people who wrote their confessions on the wall, which is hanging in our office right now. We read some of them the other day But the other thing we were doing was a raffle and we had hundreds of people sign up for the raffle and what we're giving away

are these Jimmy Jane Jimmy Jane.com Awesome the most awesome toys the most awesome products on the market right now and Here's some of them. We've got the three that we're giving away here. And then we've got everyone's, we're literally, we're not rigging this. Here's everyone's email addresses and we're gonna pick a winner today. And we're gonna send them.

And plus they win two copies of my book, which I forgot to bring today, but you've all heard me talking about my new book which came out last week. It's called Hot Sex, over 200 things you can try tonight. And you can buy it Amazon. If you don't win the raffle. And then we're also talking about dirty talk today. Good. How to talk dirty. And we're reading your emails and we've got

sex in the news. And I'm just excited for today's show. I love Fridays. Very excited. Very excited. So what have you got going on this weekend? This weekend, well, I'm DJing a birthday party tonight. I come. No. Why? I don't know. If you want to yet. Why don't you want me to come?

No, I'm saying. Tell me why. I don't know. I don't really know if it's your scene or not. You don't know my scene. You think my scene exists in the nape of all you drinking wine. It's not like, yeah, but it's not like an ultra lounge or anything like that. It's going to be like massive sweaty bodies.

No, but it's like, you know, maybe a little dive bar ish. Dude, I love dive bars. You don't slump like that. You say you do it for the whole- You have the sense of me that is so not who I am. What are you talking about? So you're DJing, do you get laid? Because you DJ, like girls like the DJs mix in it.

Ah, yeah, they do. I don't know, I never, I don't know. I never try to go try. I want to follow you tonight. Just like, knock it drunk, just watch you and see, watch how you play with the woman Can I hook you up tonight? No, can you hook me up tonight if I come what do you gonna keep friends that you can fix me up?

Well, yeah, I could probably But see the thing is I just don't I don't like talking to people in the setting I know because it's the loud music and talking to people in this setting either. I know, but it's just like how How do you hold the conversation with that going on? Because it's so loud and crowded and stuff. Unless you're intoxicated. Oh, if people are listening, are they invited? Is it an open party? Yeah, it's open party.

Where is it? It's at Milk Bar and San Francisco. Milk Bar and San Francisco. So if you're listening, it goes to you menace tonight. Soarset night. He's DJing. Yeah. He's going to be a sexy DJ.

Yeah. I like DJs. No play. Oh 90s hip-hop music. Okay. Not underground. More fun like your digital underground and Humpty Hump and stuff. Okay. How long? What time are you DJing? I'm gonna start the party at nine. I'm gonna DJ from nine to 10 and then I'll probably DJ again later. Okay. Good to know. Well, maybe I'll show up You never know you should I know I should and then this weekend I'm totally around I got a baby shower tomorrow my friend got pregnant So that's what you got to do good baby showers, which I kind of dread how that how'd that go how'd she get pregnant? Or how'd it go how'd she get pregnant? Yeah

Um, have I taught you nothing no no to be honest. She got pregnant on her own Really yeah in vitro or whatever. Why, she just, she could have just... Sounded dude. It wasn't happening for her and she wanted to have a baby. So that's deal. And then I've got her... I should have I given her my sperm.

Yeah, she's cute. But she was just like, I'm doing it. Lots of women are doing it these days. Where should you get the sperm? I don't know. Walgreens? No, for like a friend. I think so. I don't actually know the whole story. I haven't talked to her in a while. I just noticed that she's pregnant.. I don't know, Walgreens. No, for like a friend. I think so.

I don't actually know the whole story. I haven't talked to him, where I just noticed she's pregnant. That's all I know. Really? And then I might have a date Saturday night, but I'm not sure. And then I'm going to New York next week,

but we have a bunch of new shows for you next week. You're not taking me to New York, my favorite place in the world. Do you want to come? It's cool. It's my birthday next week. That's fine. I'm missing your birthday on Friday. It's Friday, right? Yeah. It's cool. It's my birthday next week. That's fine. I'm missing your birthday on Friday. It's Friday, right?

Yeah. It's when you want for your birthday. Nothing. I know what you want. I'm going to get it for you. Oh, you know what you got for your birthday? I have it right here. What?

A Tango masturbation sleeve. The Tango 3D. These masturbation sleeves are so hot, you think sex toys are for us for women? Check out these masturbation sleeves. You can get their 3D. are for us for women. Check out these masterbation sleeves, you can get their 3D, that's the name of them, Tenga 3D, their website is tanga.co.jp. If you wanna check them out, they're the hottest new toys

and men can use them to use lube and these little nubi, it's rubber and it feels really good on your penis and it has holes on both sides so you can, some of do maybe they don't know they do oh not on both sides I'm one side and you put it over your penis and you masturbate and it's just like a whole another experience And this part and they have different ridges on them This is bumps ridges and you can pick which one you want and Use it on your penis. So I think that that's what I'm getting you for your birthday

All right, Here you go. Thank you. You're welcome. Happy birthday. Say the website. It's tanga teonga.ca.co.jp. Like Japan. They're based in Japan.

So you know all the cool stuff comes out of Japan. And so I want- I made a sound. Oh my god. I think you- Will you try it? Just to say, it just just just to because seriously What if it takes your masturbation experience to a whole new level?

I mean toys for men. It's awesome. So I think you should do that. Okay. I think you should check out the tanga and That's your birthday present, but I think something else too. I got something else in mind We also have a new poll. It's been up for a few days. We're gonna read the results next week Where's your where's your favorite place also have a new poll. It's been up for a few days. We're going to read the results next week. Where's your favorite place to have a quickie? Favorite place to have a quickie. An alleyway, an elevator, an airplane in the car or in the bathroom. You already answered this the other day, but I can't remember. All of them. Yeah, me too. Except for airplane. I'm not into the airplane sex. Why not? Well, not not Commercial but it's private. Well, I've had I

Floan private. I've never had sex on a private jet. Of course you've flown private. I flew private to Italy once Oh my god, and it was pretty amazing. I didn't even want to get off the plane I was like I don't care that we're in Italy. We have they like flew in sushi and we'd like every magazine. It was amazing I had a bed So those were good times when I used to fly private to Italy and now I'm flying coach to New York next week. So I'm going to be yeah promoting my book in New York hot sex. Sweet. Yeah, it's going to be really, really good. So. Do what you know how long you can be a whole entire week in New York. But we still have new shows, we've recorded shows so just don't worry,

we have new shows every day next week. Is there any places you're going to visit in New York? I'm going to visit the Museum of Sex. I'm actually having a party at the Museum of Sex Friday night on your birthday from 6 to 8 p.m. for my book if you're in New York, come and then 8 to 10 a.m. in that same day, Friday the 28th of Bay Blan. Okay. Yeah, and then I'm going to be on a bunch of radio shows promoting my book. And I'm going to see a bunch of friends

and go shopping and hang out. And I'm staying in Soho and you're welcome to come. I got a place for a week. Okay. And I might have a date. My friends are matchmaker and she's going to fix me up on a date in New York. With a New Yorker.

Yeah. Oh my God. Why not? I like New York guys. They're aggressive. They're sort of, they ask you out. Unlike guys in San Francisco who don't necessarily ask you out. They're like like you But you know what's cool actually a New Yorker might be good for you because I'm not begging on New York women Because I love New York women. They're fashionable. They're trendy. They're awesome, but they're very

loud Very loud that you know a guy from the Bay Area would be afraid of but you're very loud, very loud, that a guy from the Bay Area would be afraid of, but you're very loud. I'm very loud. So what the hell? Maybe this would be good for you. I think it would be good for me. I like New York guys.

I love New York. I'm loud. Yeah. All the time. Your volume level is this. I know. It's always been that way since I was a kid. I was the one in third grade. everyone would be talking around me, right?

We'd all be whispering in the back. And the teacher would say, Emily, stop talking. And I'm like, everyone else is talking, but my voice was so high. I sounded like I was sucking on helium when I was little. I talk like this. And she would hear everyone could hear my voice over everyone else's. So I'm used to being the loud one, which is kind of a bummer. Well, have fun in New York.

Thanks. I'll miss you terribly. Don't stay at the W because I'll be pissed. I'm not at the W. All right, cool, because I've always wanted to stay at the W at the Times Square, in Times Square. Oh, it's really nice, I've seen it before. Because you know me, I'm really into the W hotel. They're not a paid sponsor, but I.

I know, they should be a paid sponsor. I've stated that one. All the mentions that are that I know that is why she gets you room with the w. Fairburt. I don't know okay do you want to do some sex in the news darling okay study claims that more than 50% of women are attracted to other women boys these state university claims that 60% of heterosexual women are sexually attracted to other women and And by women, they mean Beyonce. The study which pulled 484 straight women also discovered that 45% of women have enjoyed a same sex kiss, with 50% of women admitting to having sexual fantasies about other women.

The professor says, who had it, it says, women are encouraged to be emotionally close to each other. That provides an intimacy for romantic feelings to develop that would explain why all girl porn girl girl porn oh start with the actresses in their footy pajamas sharing their innermost dreams and aspirations of repinning managers well to most chicks you know hooked have they hooked up with another woman yeah i mean not to extents where they've you know any penetration was right but they didn't like their. Yeah, but they they've made out and stuff like that.

They're their fingers. No, they haven't like for just a sign for vagina. It can be. I get no, but you I need to like it. I like it. I don't do things like that. But what were you to say, but you know, women who? Yeah, I know a ton of women that just make make out with other women. And I do know women that hook up with other women. Right. It's totally normal. Yeah. And because I don't know if you know this, but women are hot, man.

I know. I know. We're like pretty and soft. Guys, not so hot. Guys, that's not hot. But women are like hot, hot, hot, I know. Yeah. I've had my experience.

So I can understand if women want to make out with other women because they're good looking. Good looking. That's right. So that's an interesting study, 50% who would have thought it. So I can understand if women want to make out with other women because they're good looking good looking That's right. So if that's an interesting study 50% who would have thunk it. Okay. I would have thought about Women are more likely to sexed than men According to a recent study a professor at the professor of the University of Nebraska Says that two thirds of women surveyed sent such missives compared with roughly half of the men Although for reasons to be explained later these results are not the most scientific Cheating is alive and well and sexting is on the rise

But I don't believe the internet is causing people to cheat there seems to be something going on with marriage That's the bigger social issue people before we're just gonna divorce for some reason people are staying in relationships and cheating instead stupid we just get a divorce. For some reason, people are staying in relationships and cheating instead. That's stupid. So, it says they are sexting and cheating. It says serving users of a website for swingers is not compared to the other, anyway, whatever. We're sexting more and we're cheating more. That's an interesting thing that people are not leaving marriages. They're just like sexting people. I guess that's considered cheating to some people. S sexting? Yeah. I guess that's cheating.

It does women are more likely to send nude photographs or sexually explicit text messages than men. About two thirds of women surveyed sentiments. So our intern is shaking her head, no, that is not cheating. What? Look, if you're talking about... If you're in a committed relationship and you're sending naked photos of yourself

to another dude or another woman, you're cheating. And you're talking about banging. I don't know. Yeah, it's very hard to find line for me. Cheating because I hate throwing in, oh, emotional cheating. Like if a girl, my girlfriend is talking to some guy about some problems that she's having with me or whatever, I don't really care about that.

I think that's stupid. I don't think it's emotional cheating, whatever, blah, blah. But if the question. A emotional inf really care about that. I think that's stupid. I don't think it's emotional cheating. Whatever. But if the emotional infidelity they call it. Yeah, which is dumb. Right. No, no guy's going to say, I was emotional infidelity. That's stupid. That's things that chicks say. But if it is, you know, has a ton of sexual content in it, even though if they're not actually doing things, I don't think that's cool. I don't think it's cool either.

I don't know if I, actually I wouldn't even know if I would say, oh, you're achieving on me, I just wouldn't think that was cool. And I would be, yeah. And I would just like, 86 you for my life. I think the thing about sexing is that it feels like you still get that rush. Like, you know, they say that when you get a text message or email message and mostly text messages that you get a serotonin rush,

which is like the chemical that makes you feel happy thoughts. And so if you get a, so you're sexing, you sort of get that same rush as if you're having an affair. Like it feels that same, I mean, you're not having a penetration, but you get that rush of an email of someone telling you you're hot or beautiful, or they miss you, or they want you. And that, to me, is cheating, but I get why people are doing it more because you really feel good.

It's like taking a pro-zac. It's just people being attention-horse, that's it. I'm not doing it. Okay, don't take your daughter to Texas. One in 10, 11 year old, has had sex in Texas. One in 10? Whoa. A recent study shows that the number of kids having sex while they are still in middle school

with one in 10, six graders having already had sex by the age of 11 or 12 years old. What is what with Texas? Texas is such a strange state. Texas and Florida, man. The numbers jump from there with 22% of seventh graders having had sex and increasingly by roughly by roughly 10% each year after that. Where are their parents? I do want to go to the Midwest and find a girl though. Honey,

we're good. Pips in the Midwest hot chicks. They don't know that they're hot. They don't know that they're good looking here on the coast, New York, good looking here on the coast, New York, freaking San Francisco LA. A girl is even halfway decent. She's taking modeling photos and they're up on her Facebook. Really? Like yeah.

It doesn't happen in West. You're right. The probably I'm married by now too. Like all my high school friends are married because it doesn't it doesn't go down like that and they're way more approachable. They don't think they're the shit. Why don't you move to Michigan? We have tons of listeners in Michigan.

The only problem about moving to Michigan is I would have to live in Michigan. It's freezing. It's true. Why do you think I moved out here? But it's true. Chicago girls, girls from Indiana, wherever. We're like good Midwestern stock.

Like we grow up with good values. Like, yeah, I get it. I would love to import one here. There's plenty of them here. I'll hook you up with them. Is that your criterion midwest? I need a midwest girl. No, but I don't want any ones that've been here for a while.

Like me, like I no longer have my midwestern street crowd is what you're saying. No, you're having. It's still in here baby. It's time to hear. You have your, I moved here from midwest so I'm trying out every wacky thing San Francisco has to provide. And that's who I am.

It is who I am now. And then I ain't down with that. Right. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. But I am very much a Michigan person. And yeah. OK, Justin Timberlake and Justin Beale are in love. Justin Timberlake and Jessica Beale are in love. Justin Timberlake and Jessica Beale are in love.

Apparently, they broke up a few months ago, but now they're in love. Justin Timberlake wasn't wanting for beautiful women at Thursday's premiere of his action thriller In Time in LA, where co-stars Amanda C. Fried and Olivia Wilde stunned on the red carpet. He and one time fling wild 26 even sets out by side, but after the screening, Timberlake headed to the after party at a private home in Beverly Hills and partied with another stunner, Onigit loved Jessica Beale. They're back together. I love Jessica Beale. Do you?

She is a sweetheart. I've actually met her in New York. You did? I met her in New York and she was really nice, really funny, really cool. Good. So thumbs up on Jessica Beale. Oh, good. But she's like, you know, JT like dude,

you get with hot shakes all the time. This is like settle down with one. I know, but maybe he's got community issues. I'm sure they all want to settle down. You know what I'm saying? But they doesn't want to. Okay, I idolize JT. He's awesome.

I'll not talk crap about Justin Timberlake. I think he's awesome. He really proved himself after being like a mouse, Katira. Why don't you hear about what a girl thinks about him because of course, you think he's so great. I just think that he's awesome. He really proved himself after being like a mouse. Here about what a girl thinks about him because of course. Why do you think he's so great? I just think that he's really talented. I honestly think that he's really talented. I do too. That in music and in, um, in movies and clothing.

He made a clothing line, right? He's super funny and stuff like that. And you know, I got to support him because you know what? He also has what? Yes, his own daquila. He does. He loves to kill. stuff like that and you know I got to support him because you know what he also has what yes his own daquila he does you love daquila yeah so he yeah it's nine oh one daquila okay I didn't is it if you tasted it I have yet to taste it because it's kind of hard to find but now it's it's out more okay like it was only available in a couple cities but now it's getting out around the country more I do not even know

Everyone's doing a we should do a brand of something something. No, I know man. Okay. That's what I got for sex in the news Unless you've heard anything or less you have any your own sex in the news like you at sex last night or something. I had so much sex last night Yeah, I guess anything happening on the Jersey Shore I need to know about Well, there was this I mean it's the big thing. I didn't get to watch the episode last night because I went to bed super early But this what happened Gianni who is nookie's boyfriend remember I told you that time that he traveled all the way out there To Italy go visit her and then she was acting like a hie up in the club. She was like showing off her ass Right

and he he doesn't like that. He's much more Reserved yeah, and He got upset. He wasn't even there 24 hours and he took off and he flew back home. Oh my god So they were fighting They were fighting over the phone and then then she goes, so are we together? And like, he's like, he broke up with her. Within an hour of breaking up with her boyfriend, she got in bed with Vinny, another cast member and hooked up with him.

Had they never hooked up before? No, they've hooked up before. But goes there and sleeps with him. Are they just doing this for television or it's real? No, it's real? No, really. She really did it, but she's like over her boyfriend and I'm gonna have to urge their to strunk. Yeah, she said, see, then she claims,

oh, I blacked out, I didn't really know if we had sex. They black out in every episode. No wonder what people love this show. I'm just saying, so that was the whole deal, because then she, all the other castmates, all the female castmates were ragging our like you got a towel Because she was like I really want to be with Gianni blah blah. I love him and blah blah He's my man and all this stuff. They go well, you know

I don't know if he's gonna take you back after you just hooked up with right and he's gonna see it right yeah She's like you got a call and tell him there like, there's no way he's staying with you. So she calls up and she tells him and then he's like, super pissed and then they call back again and he goes, all right, we're together. Oh God, these kids, I'm sorry, I even asked, really? That's crazy. I would be like, no, effing way.

I know, buddy, probably wants to, I don't know, maybe. She's not even that cute. She's Looking better. She's in shape. They all get in shape. I'm so intelligent. Okay, let's get into some emails. All right. All right. Okay Does penis size matter if so is there any such thing as a man obtaining a bigger penis through penis exercise? This is signed west in in San Leandro, California. Oh In the drill in the drill. It'sandro, California. Oh, and the drill. And the drill. It's called the drill. It's called the drill. I never heard that before. Well, West, here's the thing. Just penis size matter.

It might matter to some people. It doesn't matter to all people. I know a ton of women who are totally fine with penis size. I think that it's a penis size is a obsession that men have. They men harbor the succession over their penis. And I can tell you, after talking to many, many women, very, very rarely have I ever heard anyone like really complain about a penis. So if you think your penis is too small,

I'm sure it's just fine. I wouldn't worry about it, but I seriously think it is a male issue because of all the questions I get, I've received thousands of emails over the years. I've never had a woman say my boyfriend's pain. I very rarely maybe once or something like I hate his penis and satisfy me. So people are more obsessed with it.

Maybe it's seriously, it doesn't happen that much. But here's my response to you. Is it exercise? There are, we did have a guy in the show last year. Do you remember this? He wrote a book called Exercising Your Penis. Yeah. And the truth is it allows, there are these exercises that you can do.

And it allows more blood into the penis. So it becomes engorged and it seems like it's bigger, but it's temporary. Exercising the penis itself is pointless. The penis contains smooth muscle, not the kind of muscle that gets bigger with exercise. Now, there's people that claim differently. He wrote a book on it, he shows, like, people's penis is getting bigger. I'm not going to say that any of the stuff works or not. I don't have a penis. If I had a penis, I would try probably to grow it just for fun. But usually it's just a temporary thing if you use like these penis pumps or

whatever. You can use like searings. These rubber shaped donut size devices tightly encircled the erect penis and there are typically men use them to maintain interaction and they also provide a small temporary size boost. I do have a friend who had a penis technique to grow your penis that did very well and it didn't actually have any negative response. He had a penis what? technique that he sold that basically he broke it down and use actually transexuals as an example. Transsexuals usually sit on their penis, they like twist it around in a different way and their penis actually supposedly gets longer. So that's like part of the technique of doing this exercise. There's all these techniques. I've heard of things. Never tried them. I don't want to say you can try them. There's a lot. In fact, like there's

penis pumps. There's stuff like that. And I just don't I don't know. I don't know. There's tons of studies. It does work. I'm still skeptical. There's also the penis pumps. These plastic tubes create a partial vacuum around the penis and the vacuum draws blood into the organ resulting in a temporary size enhancement. Yeah, I'll try exercise this first before you get into any type of machinery. Right, right. Exactly. I'd be careful.

But I do have some penis pumps in my house that were sent to me. So if you want a penis pump, email me feedback at sex only.com with your address. I'll send you one. See if it works. Oh, sweet. Yeah, they sent me a bunch to me. So if you want a penis pump, email me, feedback at sexonly.com with your address. I'll send you one. See if it works. Oh, sweet. Yeah, they sent me a bunch of them. If you want one, too, I'm sure your penis is totally. Oh, cool.

Awesome. But, okay, dear Emily, my husband and I have been together since high school, 16 years. At first, the sex was great. We had sex three times a day and it was hot. After I'd children, the thought of sex completely left my mind. My husband wants sex all the time, and I just don't think about it.

But when we start having sex, I'm all in. I'm just having problems with getting there. I love my husband, and I'm really attracted to him. However, I do not find myself attracted anymore, attractive anymore. When you're used to being tiny, and then you've kids, it takes a toll on your body. And I just don't feel sexually attractive, so I think how can he want to have sex? This is from Candy from Moxie, Washington. Okay, Candy, this is a loaded email,

there's so much in here. So the first thing is, I totally get that the sex was great before you had kids, you felt great, you felt sexy, and then you have kids, and not only do you not feel great about your body right now, but you're also, you have kids, and you have other responsibilities, and your libido could take a dive. So I would also get checked out by your doctor, just make sure everything's in place or libido,

your hormones are back to normal. And then I would say that it's really common for women, even women who aren't going through what you're going through like a new baby to not, to want to have sex. They're just not around. They don't feel it. But studies show that if you just start having sex, like I know you're saying it's hard to get there, but just like going through the motions

and you're like, okay, I don't want it, I don't want it. But you just start making out or doing the things that you like, you'll get in the mood. So most women aren't like men, zero to six day, they're ready to go. Women, we need more warming up. So I would also talk to your husband. What does turn you on?

I mean, do you need more for play? Do you need to make out for a while before? Do you feel like he just comes up to do with a heart on and tries to stick it in? That wouldn't turn me on either. But it's okay for you to ask your husband for what you want now. It's okay for you to say, I need a foot massage.

I need to run my back. I need to make out for a little while. I need you to go down to me or whatever it is to get you in the mood. It's his job too, just because he's ready. So I would say that. And then I would say you don't feel attractive anymore. I'm sure.

Obviously your husband still finds you attractive. Start going to the gym, do things that you need to do for yourself. You have to take time for yourself after kids. I know everyone thinks the kids come first. Kids are very important. But if you don't feel good about yourself, it's going to make sense that you're not going to feel like having sex. And I was just talking about this today with my assistant,

and I'm not saying she's not doing this, but I was looking over a bunch of photos of women that I went to high school with that now have babies and stuff like that. And they're so busted. Like, do you not like try to dollar yourself up at all I think you're just busy you've kids and you're like busy and you're like I know you're busy But you're still a woman right women are into making themselves look good

Sometimes takes a while for them to get back to it But I would say candy take your time go to the gym. I know it's so easier said than done But you gotta start working out you gotta start eating healthy and doing the things that make you feel good But go to your doctor too and check out make sure that your levels are good perfect example actually I just this just came to me. I was watching a reality show with Kendra Wilkinson she's Ex-boyfriend ex-boyfriend ex-girlfriend of Hugh Hefner and her show She was doing one of her

and her show, she was doing, one of her friends on a blind date, right? And her friend had a kid and she's like, okay, we gotta doll you up, right? And her hair was all ratty, no makeup, clothes are all frumpy and stuff like that. And after they dolled her up, she looked amazing. Really? She looked super hot. Yeah, but not every woman can afford to go get a makeover on television.

Yeah, but it doesn't cost that much. You don't have to buy the finest. I know. Just put some makeup on. I'm sure. Right. Go to them all. Have them do your make up at the department store before you go out, like before you go home one night and start doing things in your relationship. Like, talk to your husband about sex. Like, have you shared your fantasies yet? That's really important. But you're right. The women make up a little bit of this and that. I can help. Yeah. You're right. You know what we have to do? What? We have to get into our sex topic and we have to pick the winners to our contest. Maybe we'll do that now. Pick the winners. So, okay, here's our jar. This is totally

not rigged. This is from everyone who went to the Treasure Island Music Festival. We had like, I don't know, five, six hundred people who... Yeah, there's a lot in there. There's a lot in here. So, okay. Yeah, shake it up, menace. Shake it up, baby. Okay, the first prize is going to be a form three from Jimmy Jane. This is a rock star vibrator. It looks it your hands move wherever the vibration is it looks like tongue and your hands can move where the vibration goes it's um It's made by what I was gonna the, I can't even explain it. I just know it reminds you of a tongue and that's not so bad, okay? And it's a form three, it's waterproof rechargeable vibrator and Jimmy Jane products are amazing

and like the best on the market right now. So first person and Tiana, I'm gonna give you whoever I pick out and you can stick it on here so we know this person won the form three, ready? Okay. Drum roll please. Rrrrrrrrrrr Dana Benke and doesn't say what she's familiar with. I mean, I'll just congratulations Dana. You won a sex toy. A sex toy at form 3. Happy Friday. Happy Friday. It's free Friday, free sex Friday. Okay, the next one is a Form Six. This is also an amazing toy. It's a, it's a

FALATE free medical grade platinum silicone cordless recharging, the charging mechanisms with Jimmy Jane products. You can leave these products out and just like leave them by your beds in and they're beautiful, like the charger the way they work. And this is just an amazing vibrator

and it has cordless charging. Can you see you see that okay so let's pick another winner pick a winner what you got we got Steve can't read his last name but we have your number and really mellow Steve congratulations you won a Oh, Steve. Form six. OK, we've got one more. OK. It's a rock star. This is the Form two. OK, the Form two. This is also a vibrator.

These can go on either side of your clitoris. It feels amazing. And the charging is great. And it's kind of became known during naming as a little perky. You can use yours wherever you like, but it is good for the clitoris, it's good for clitoral stimulation, and it's a beautiful vibrator.

I have all of these, by the way, and I love them. Next one. Emily, and Emily won. Emily Ritter. You got the Emily Market Corner door. That's hilarious, that Emily won. It was funny because when we were doing the booth, tons of Emily's came up and took pictures

under the sign because we had a big sex time. So congratulations to all the winners of the Jimmy Jane products. Now I've got to give away, I forgot to bring a copy of my book, but two people won copies of my book, hot sex. It's called hot sex over 200 things you can try tonight and you can fight by it on Amazon if you don't win.

All right. Okay, the winner is crystal. can try tonight and you can fight by it on Amazon if you don't win. All right. Okay. The winner is Crystal. I don't know if I should crystal something. And she's in the 650 and Crystal, congratulations. You win a copy of my book, Hot Sex. And then we've got one more. Okay. Jordan.

Jordan. That's all we got is Jordan. All right, Jordan. Jordan, congratulations. You won a copy of hot sex over two And things you can try tonight. Yeah, all the winners That's awesome. Is that exciting food? Okay, so check that out you people are very lucky because these are the coolest toys ever And my book rocks

Okay, we've got some dirty talk tips What is that how do you feel about talking dirty, darling? Love it. What are you wearing? Do it all the time. Do you really? No. Okay. Well, no, but I'm, I, uh, it's hard to initiate as a man. Why? You might slap you. This guy is a creep. He's a perv. You might slap you. You're like, this guy is a creep. He's a perv. Right. I got it.

You know? Yeah. But. So why don't women open it up a little bit more because you know you want it. You know you want it. A lot of women like it. Some women don't like it. But we're going to talk about ways to, um, it can be a little daunting at first, right?

Because you don't know where to start. So you don't have to start with like, I want to f you in the that doesn't matter like you can start your friends talk. Well, my friends have more experience. Well, you've referring to my friend that called in that day. Yeah, she said that she had dumpsters of man juice inside her. That was a classy lady. She's hilarious. Okay, so the thing is try to stick to positive words and leave out the commonly used insult words out when you're just starting. So yeah, like don't be like you're a bitch or whatever, you know, you horror. Durdy tap comes under the encouragement category. When she or he see something that you like doing very much

she'll be more interested in doing it more. So there's certain things that you can say like positive words. Like you could say what you want. Like I want your hands all over my body. I can't wait to fill your tongue. I mean, you kind of verbalize the things that you want. That's like a great way to start. Kiss me there. That feels good. More of that.

Don't stop. Your tongue makes me feel so hot. These are just some examples of how to start. So think about the things that you like your partner doing to you. It feels like what I would do is like, I love when you grab my ass or something. Like it feels so good when you grab my ass. You would text that.

No, this is not texting. This is dirty talk during sex. Oh, okay. I think I love the way your hands feel on my body. I can't wait to taste you. Like your kisses are amazing or I mean, it doesn't have to be this. While having intercourse.

Yeah. While in the middle of the night. While having intercourse, while in the middle of the night. While having intercourse. You would say that, say it again. I'd say, I think grab my ass, which one? No, any of them, just this sort of, you would put in, I love when you grab my ass. I really grab my ass, or I would say grab my ass, just good.

Yeah, I would just want to clarify that. Right, like I would like it. Because you say, I love when you grab my ass while we're making out, it's just kind of weird to me. Say, oh, can you, well, not when we're making out, but when we're having sex, I could be like, I want you to grab my ass. It feels so good the way you touch me. So I've got all the worries.

You know what I say? I want you to say, grab my ass. You kind of keep it short. You're right. You have to be succinct and brief when you're talking dirty, okay? So the rawness of the sexual passion aroused with through talk is why it's so effective be careful with swearing too much Though a good dose of foul language might be hot So again, you just start with the things that you they things that you like are the things you want to do So tell your partner like when you're sitting there, I love the way your penis feels inside me, but you could say whatever you want. Or I can't wait

for you to do this or that. You know, you like use descriptive words. And if you just think, if you've just verbalized what you want out loud, that's a great way to start. Like, what would turn you on if a girl said what to you? Like, what kind of dirty talk have you experienced before? Let's have sex. It's hot. I would say, I want you to be descriptive and I want you to give direction. That's a big thing. Give direction. You want her to give direction.

Say, like, go down on me or something. But see, that's not dirty. That's not like, that's not hot. Well, I'm not gonna be dirty now. I don't swear. Why? On the show. I want to like my, that would you like that? Like, no, you don't have to go all the way there,

but I, you know. Like what, give me an example of what would be. It was like, I want you to see, it sounds weird though. But do you think it's hot when a woman tells you, so you think it's hot when a woman tells you what she wants during sex? Because a lot of dirty talk right? Yeah, or do you want her to be hurting you like wow, you're so big and hard

No, you don't want that no, I want you to say What you want me to do to you, but in a dirty way, okay? So that's what you want yeah, I think that's what a lot of guys want I Don't we don't need the ego boost. Oh, you're, you're, I think some guys do. There's so large and blah blah. Like we don't care about that.

You love the tango, misajuro. You're playing with it. Because it feels like some, like I'm playing with cheese or something. That's awesome. So I thought that men like it when you're, like you look so. No, I think you love the ego boost.

I think some men do. You love the ego boost. You love that. So you're saying you'd so. I think you love the ego boost. You love that. So you're saying you'd rather get more direction from women. Yeah, but in again, in a dirty way. And I think what you want is, oh, you look so fucking hot right now. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Yeah. Your breasts are so amazing. Do do do do. That's what you want. Like, I don't give it. What if I said to you, I'm so wet. I'm like, but that's when you're on a fourth of give it what if I said to you I'm so wet I'm like, but that's her new honor for fill around I'm so what I want to turn me on what really I think that's gross

To be honest I get you to be kicked off the show right now Hi because it's hot when a woman's back in me to turn their eyes that are listening in the show like oh my god He's so ridiculous. That's just me. That's what I think. I know. You can just say it feels so good. You're so beautiful. I'm so hot for you. I want to kiss every inch of your body. Do you think like with... That has to do with her fluids. I'm not interested in her describing it.

Oh, minus your nightmare. Why? Because you are. Why? Okay. Why are you getting upset now that I'm not celebrating your fluids and not Saying how amazing because the fluids are hot like fluids a lot of guys are into fluid guys want to hear about how you

Want their spooge on you. That's what they want to hear They don't want to hear like you to jackulate on my chest. Yes. That's what a guy wants to hear They don't want to hear about oh, I think you're I know that that's not true that a guy wants to hear. They don't wanna hear about all of us. I think you're, I know that that's not true that all guys want to hear that. I'm so wet right now. Oh my God, you're making me so horny. I don't care about that. I want to hear about how you want to receive my juice.

That's it, like stuff like that. Like that's what you're talking about. Okay, so you'd rather take, you'd rather hear about you. Yeah, and then vice versa. And I guess I'd rather hear about me. Yeah. And then vice versa. And I guess I'd rather hear about me. Yeah. Crazy, right? No, but it's all exchange that the entire time and everyone's happy. Everyone's happy. But I think you got to start slowly with dirty talk and just start saying things out loud.

Like if you've never talked dirty before, like dirty talk one and one to say, this feels so good or you feel so hot right now or this is I want you so badly. I mean, there's things like that that like eventually you don't just like go right into the dirty talk, but it's like you feel so hot right now or this I want you so badly. I mean, there's things like that that like eventually you don't just like go right into the dirty talk, but it's like you feel so good. You feel so hot. Like I'm so hot for you right now. I can't wait to feel your large member inside me. You'd like that right? Because that's about you. If I said I want your member inside me. I yeah, but I want I wouldn't say member. Yeah, don't say member. But I like saying it just now just for makes me sound more

professional. Yeah, this thing for anyways, okay, the time of the time while we're talking tango masturbation sleeve. Oh, there's you have more. Yes, but you go on. What are you going to say? No, there was something I was gonna change topic for that's okay You changed topic I was gonna say We didn't even talk about it, but it is news stories and I was thinking about this last night We had two small earthquakes. Yes, yeah, I felt both of them you did I can't believe we talked about it. We had two earthquakes the first one was it like noon Yeah, and just like right after I saw you. Right. No, no, I saw you.

It was like two something. Was it a two something? Yeah. Yeah, I feel like it was a noon. Okay, I don't remember. The yesterday was crazy. But it was in the office, and then there was that big one last night. Yeah.

I was at my kitchen table, and it was like shaking. And I was in bed. And at seven? Yeah, I got in bed too early. I know, not every night. I was in bed with in my boxers and I was just thinking like, great, now do I have to sleep with my clothes on? Because there might be a bigger thing.

There might be, they're saying there's gonna be a bigger one. And that makes everything not matter in your life. You're like, everything all the little things you worry about is like there could be a goddamn earthquake. It just reminds you. It reminds you of what's important and that you need to get the supplies at your house. Like do you have an earthquake kit?

I don't I have tons of water. I don't have anything nothing nothing not one like my I would starve after a day Nothing at a bar. Yeah, yeah, you have nothing. I have a frozen pizza on the refrigerator And you know that's not gonna do you any oh cuz I can't cook it in the oven. There's no electricity I'm screwed. I'm gonna after work seriously. I'm gonna go buy some stuff from my house. You should quick preparedness very preparing for yeah a lot of stuff. I've been like weird out for the past year just paranoid and I've been like stockpiling stuff in my place. Really? Yeah. Oh my god. I was I was here for the big earthquake that we had in 89 and I mean the the city that in San Francisco was that we had in 89 and I mean the city that San Francisco was pretty devastated then. I'm scared now because I just I don't know.

Dept stated I'm in here right after that. Yeah, but you live in a good area of the city. I do that it won't okay, but you don't. I do. Okay. Where we're sitting right now is not a good area for us. Oh my god. What if there's nothing to do in the show and the camera started in shaking like that?

No, I really wouldn't I wouldn't trip out. Like last night when it started shaking I didn't go. Oh my god, what are those with the dreams shown the camera started in shaking like that? I really wouldn't I wouldn't trip out like last night when it started shaking. I didn't go Oh my god. I just sit there and see how how long it's gonna be right I was my friend Charlotte was over and we were just sitting at my kitchen table And she's like I think we're supposed to go under the doorway or something go in the doorway like yeah, but I usually just sit there and see Okay, is it gonna continue? All right because it's usually a still buildup before it starts really going. Right. And then that's when you should run for the show.

And Michigan, we had tornado drills, but I never grew up with the earthquake drills. You guys have earthquake drills during school? Yeah. Yeah, I never had that because we didn't have a earthquake. So, um, the thing I wanted to ask you though, the whole point was, how to talk dirty during an earthquake? No. Oh, do you run out of the house naked or do you find some clothes the wearer before I find clothes to wear before I'm not going outside naked It's crazy. I'm just shaking like crazy. I'll grab a robe which I don't have hate robes Yes, I would grab clothes. I would for sure you could go in. Would you go out naked? Hell no I'm gonna go down with the place

Not completely naked. Oh, so then when are you over naked? Only when you're having sex. Yeah, but I still have only one in the shower. I don't want to be out in my box. There's a little screen. What if the closest thing to you was your teletubby costume? Would you put that on?

I would rock the shit out of that. You would, wouldn't you? Yeah, I would wear that. I would wear that. Yeah, exactly. I'm coming to your house if you're in a teletubby during the earthquake. Yeah, I would actually go to work because I'm the closest coming to your house if you're in the tell it's happy during the earthquake. Yeah, I would actually go to work Because I'm the closest person to

To my work so I'd go there and just make sure Because you got to like shut everything down and put the news on So for people right exactly so I'd be like the savior That would you you though you've never missed a day of work in 10 years like you still wouldn't miss the day work I was no hell no, I'll be like I I'll be the first one there, hold on down. Okay, awesome. Well, that's what we got time for. I don't get a crap of bum, I really? I really don't care.

Well, I like something, I don't have a lot of stuff on the walls and so anyway, it's careful. But anyway, okay, so tonight, maybe I'll see you, it's the weekend, it's free Friday, and everyone, I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Congratulations to our winners of our Jimmy Jane toys and two copies of my book, Hot Sex.

And then next week we've got lots of fun shows for you. And what else I have to tell you? Just have a great weekend and be safe and happy and have lots of sex. And download Stitcher. Download Stitcher the app. It's free. It's free.

It's a Stitcher for your smartphone where you can listen to podcasts and do lots of cool stuff. So we love Stitcher and we love you. So thanks everyone for listening to Sex Family. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithamily.com.