Sex With Emily - Dirty Talk, Dealbreakers & Disappearing Dates

Episode Date: November 20, 2014

On tonight’s show, Emily answers your most pressing sex and relationship questions that you sent to [e-mail]. Topics include: how to rock the missionary position, the right lube for you, and what to do when the dirty talk gets too dirty. Emily and Anderson discuss a surprising fact on millennial dating, tell you what two qualities you need for a successful relationship and answer the question on everyone’s mind: Where do all the disappearing daters go?Life is too short to have sex the same way, every day! Emily gives tips to help you mix things up and find your sweet spot, whether it be the G or otherwise.  This Podcast has advice to help you get the hell off your phone, and get the sex and relationships you deserve. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks everyone for checking out this episode of Sex with Emily tonight. We're answering your questions because I love hearing from you feedback at sexwithemle.com. Some of the topics include how to spice up the missionary position, what kind of loop you should be using, and how to improve sexual timing with a partner, and overall how to have better sex and relationships. So thanks for listening. First, to shout out to my sponsor, Fleshlight, it is the number one sex toy foreman. It is the only one that you could possibly want because how about this? What if you could have amazing sex anytime,

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patented skin-like material. It feels like flesh and some people say it even feels better than sex. So you've got to check it out. It's body-safe materials and I think that for every woman that has a vibrator, every man should have one of these. And also, you got to use some lube with it and the flesh lube is award-winning and for all my sex with Emily listeners, for a very limited time, they're giving out free bottles of fresh lube with your order of a flashlight. So go to sexwithemily.com, click on the flashlight banner,

putting code Emily at checkout, and you'll get a flashlight that you like. There's so many different choose from and a bottle of the reward winning loop. That's go to sexwithemily.com, click on flashlight, use code Emily. Thank you for listening. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.

Bit-ruised, they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm off here. So, go on. Being bad feels pretty good.

So, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com. Where you can send a for mailing list and when you do you get a report the five biggest mistakes you're making in bed if you're a man or one because let's be honest every once in a while you're making a mistake and you know what you might be making it more often than that and that's what this shows about I just want to help everyone have better more interesting and more

long lasting sex and relationships that's why I'm on this earth on this this planet. That's why I walk the Earth, right, Anderson? That's right, you're the sex goddess. You know, yeah, I am. I am a sex goddess, thank you. And I know I've helped you with your sex life. You won't tell me how, but you said you were going to think or two. No, yeah, it's a mystery. Mystery. But yeah, I'm being better. You're so mysterious. I'm being better. You think- Does your wife say you're being better now? Emily, helping people bang better since-

Ha, ha, since 2005. That's a bumper sticker. You need to make note to self. Put that up there with the boots and the out. What sex should look like? Exactly. I've got so many projects on the list for 2014 slash 15. It's going to be banner year coming up. Okay, tonight's show. Like I said, I'm answering. It's all about you. I love hearing from you. I read all the emails that you sent to feedback at sexwithemle.com. It's awesome.

Also on Twitter, on Wednesdays, from 12.30 to 1, Pacific Standard Time, you can email me your questions. It's at sex with Emily on Twitter, and I answer them. How about that? Just like the free, easy, sex advice, relationship advice right there when you need it. It's actually you, you don't have them ghostwritten. No, it's me.

It's a real time Twitter don't have them ghostwritten. No, it's me. It's a real-time Twitter. Oh, yeah, yeah. Do you ever been on the Twitter? I don't do the Twitter. You don't do the tweet? My thing is what is tweet. I don't even know. Twitter is a good time.

We do a lot of tweeting. There are a lot of followers. Follow me. If you're on Twitter and you don't follow me, then I'm past you. I'm Anderson Cowan.com. Oh, okay. And he has a podcast called The After-Desister, which is Film Vault. And the film. Why he is a podcast called the After Disaster, which is Film Vault. And the film why won't you talk about the After Disaster and the film?

It's not a money maker. Okay, the Film Vault is going to put his kids maybe through college. I don't have kids, yeah, but it's gonna put me to dinner. No, it's an amazing podcast. If you want to know anything about film and you want to be entertained and informed and about the latest and greatest films, you should check out his podcast. Thank you. Yeah, so you really should.

And he's not just a pretty face, seriously. He makes really good podcasts. Also, we are looking for interns at the Sex with the Emily office. And I have to say, it's a pretty good time. I actually have one sitting here, can you see, talk for a second, Madison. Madison was my intern, and now she works with me. I've just hired her recently, which is awesome. Madison, being an intern for Sex with Emily, not a bad gig, huh?

No, honestly, as far as internships go, you really can't complain. I don't know any other internship where on your first day they hand you a vibrator and they're like, all right, have fun. Thanks for coming in. Yeah, and I said, take it and go home and write a review if you'd like and have a good time and we do other fun things in the office. I get it in turn. I get it in. Oh, it's funny. No, but you don't actually have to even use sex toys.

We don't force them upon you, but there's lots of fun things to do here. So email me or where's work and you find the description of the internship? Um, internships.com. We have two internships open, I believe, and then very soon intern match. Okay. Right now, right, intern match. And also Kimber was my former intern. And I just hired her as my assistant, but funny story.

If you ever see me out about, and you think, oh, that's if you know, I don't know. People, she saw my reality show, whatever. And she didn't say, how? She's like, it's so funny a few months ago and I didn't want to say hi. I would love if you came up and said hello to me because I love when people say hi.

And if she's a hi to me, maybe she would have been my intern at the lot of dinner. Maybe she'd be sitting where Madison is right now. Exactly. Well, she's worked with me too. I'm just saying. So, that's my deal with interns and what else? Oh, Thursday nights, Pacific Center time, 83930, you can now watch the show live.

You can even call in when the phones work, which we're working on. But if you go to secrasexwe.com, we have a, it's used by you stream, right? Madison, and you just check it out and there's a link and you can watch what's happening in real time, which is, you know, really exciting. Phones aren't working now. Don't call one out. Wait, they can't call them that way, because they're pre-recorded. Okay. Sexual health expo, January 17th and 18th of Los Angeles. First of its kind of event, and I am the face of it, the keynote speaker, but also the best part during the days,

two days, it's in Hollywood, they will be having the leading sex educators in the country. If not the world teaching workshops, there will be parties at night, there will be the booth set up with the latest and greatest, all the products I talk about, they'll be there so you can actually put your hand inside of a flashlight or your penis if you want probably not there in the room

But you know check it out. So if you want free tickets I'm giving some away so email me feedback at sex with Emily dot com Tell me why you want to go and each ticket is worth two tickets so bring a friend and also like us on Facebook and Follow me on Twitter and Instagram sex with Emily That's the sex Health Expo. Yeah, sexualhealthexpo.com. What's that mascot look like? What do you mean?

Usually, Expo's have like a little mascot that runs through. I'm the mascot. You're the mascot, okay. You're the website. I'm on the, I'm the mascot. Oh yeah, there you are. Oh, it's as H-E, she. She.

Yeah, but it's not just for women. It's for men and women and couples. Gay, straight. That's why they do the pink ass and then the H.E.s blue. Right. Clever. I like that. You like that? January 17th, 18th. I don't check that. Sofital hotels and sweet place. I know. It's really nice. You want to come? I can give you a ticket. If you tell me why you want to go offline. You know me. Okay. A little bit before we get into emails, a little bit sex in the news. Apparently dating apps are leading to less sex and more texting, which I did not have to

read an article to tell me this, but it's so true. I find that even though I'm not dating online, that nobody talks on the phone and it's all about texting and sexting. And I don't even think you were getting ladies much as they're talking about it with each other texting. So dating apps like Tint Tinder and Hinge have made it increasingly easy for people on the hunt for everything from casual sex to a relationship to find each other. But according to the New York Times, that is an happening. What is happening? People are increasingly finding themselves in text-only relationship or as the Times jokes

less casual sex than casual text. I'm so glad that this is document in your time is because this is my life lately. I swear to God, I have more texting relationships going on that my fingers hurt the like bleeding at the end of the night. I'm exhausted. I'm like, I wish you would just come over. We could have had sex and then you could have already been home

and I could be sleeping. But a texting conversation is like three hours long and you can know where and you don't see him and I'm still alone. Am I? A lot of beating around the bush in those attacks. Exactly. Stop beating around my goddamn bush already. Well anecdotally, many believe that millennials are getting laid right and left.

That is not the case. What is that? What's a millennial? A millennial is like Madison. Oh, it's a generation. Twenty something. Yeah, they're supposed to be really sort of, what's the word? Self-involved.

Self-involved and not really, he's expecting everything's going to happen for them. How many likes did it get? How many likes? What should I hash? Right, should I take a selfie? Right, the whole thing. It's all document. Their whole life has been documented online.

Like mine's in photographs, maybe, apparently, their entire life. I can like Google Madison and see her when she was like two. Remember when you go over, like, you meet a guy and sometimes you break out the photo album? Yeah. What are the millennials gonna have to do? They just, we're about their iPhone. They probably have. You probably have your second birthday on your phone.

They're like, check out my throwback Thursday from last week. Right. And this is where we live at the time. Order killer. Yeah, exactly. So that's what they're all about, but they're not having sex, apparently. So, from 2000, so okay, comparing results from 1988 to 1996, from those 2012 to 2010,

fewer responds in the latter group reported having sex within the past year. So 59% versus 65% saying whatever the hell that means. Just means that your generation's having less sex. Could the rise of dating apps be what's to blame for millennials having less sex? Normally, we'd say to each their own, but seriously, people, you cannot have a relationship and sex the computer, at least not yet. Wait, less sex, but more partners.

No, just less sex, more text. I just don't even listen to what I said before, because it was confusing to me too. No, no, I get it, but I would think that they're having... No, they're not even having sex because they're home texting and Facebooking and Instagram mean stalking each other. With the video games and the hashtags. The whole thing. I like my Instagram photo.

Do you think that means that it likes likes me? Or it just likes my photo. But then they also like my friend's photo. Look, look at him. Look at his profile. No one has time to even date because they're just documenting the entire relationship in their head on what someone else is doing online and they're watching them through cyber space or whatever the hell you call it through all their social media networks. It's not even like you have enough to be on Tinder.

It's like Facebook stocking like I have had issues with men that I've dated who have taken my social media very seriously and think that I'm actually talking about them when I'm not. And I can only imagine what? Oh yeah, all the time. They're like, I was really upset. Dude, I was just a thought I had. I don't think I do with you. Right. I was talking about somebody else's dick. Yeah, your dick is fine. His dick is really big. Yours is medium. There you go. His dick is really small and yours is fine. You know, things like that. So I can just imagine now that you know, you used to be

like, I'm one other guy, he's five for 10, he's brown here. Like I couldn't be like, here he is, look at his entire life. So just a different world and they're just consumed with it. They are. They're not awful people or anything. But they're just having less sex than previous partners and that could explain the case of disappearing data. So if you heard about this, I mean, this has been going on for a while, but it's when you go on a couple of dates with a guy and then he disappears completely and you never hear from him again. And men are more notoriously disappearing, dateers than women. And I, again, hear this too. And what's happening to me, I've gone out with guys at a great date, and it's amazing.

Everything is fabulous, and then just don't hear from me again. Do you, do you bang? No, no, I didn't even bang on and that's it It didn't even get to bang. It was like a great date or maybe two dates Maybe we made out on the second date or maybe he felt my breasts on the second day. We didn't have sex But something happened and it was amazing. You know my god kiss kiss still want to leave you and then you just never hear from and It could be because you know

They had such a great time, they passed out and died. Um, it could be. It got deployed. It got deployed. Exactly. Oh, it's veteran things coming. It was better to say. Uh, no, really he, um, whatever it is, they disappear. And I think it's because there's lots of options. It's not a lot of men are emotionally unavailable and they want to keep their optional. Who held those? But they disappear. So that's all I want to say about that. Have you ever been that you've disappeared? Oh, I just appeared. And I've just, you know, I'd be honest, I've disappeared. I disappear all the time. Sometimes it's not a whole lot invested. It's just the best thing. Yeah. What are you going to do? Break up after two dates? Well, this

is the dilemma. Do you like a two-day break up? Hey, I really enjoyed having coffee with you at Starbucks in the second time. Then we met up for that concert where we barely talked, but I just don't think this is working out. Yeah, I know. You don't want to do that. No, you just disappear. But then you get to go over to your girlfriend. This is my last test and then you stress about all the things that you might have done wrong. Why you didn't call. Why should it? It's never what you think. And usually it's because they're banging someone else, right? Yeah. Bigger, better deal. Not always bigger. Yeah. Right. Oh, for girls always bigger. No, but or they back, like I had a guy that I went on a really good date with. I thought like six months ago, seven months ago.

And then I always thought he like pops up on my Facebook because he had to become friends with me before to see if I was hot. You're a relief pitcher. My what? You're like a bull in a bullpen. What do we, oh right. You're like he's like, he's like, he's like, he's starting rotations kind of like, yeah, he's like, six months and he's He's like hey looks like you're always at a time

When are we ever gonna get together again? I was like it's been six months. I've never been like I was taking it back And I was like yeah, I'm out of time a lot But you're not every day for the last six months. What's your point? Oh? You're a bitch like that. Oh kind of because I was like yeah a little bit because you know why? Innoid me the whole thing. I was just like because I yeah, a little bit, because you know why? It annoyed me. The whole thing, I was just like, because I knew I know men so well. I know men before men, no men. And it's a blessing in a curse.

So I know the whole thing. He's like, well, and then the game shiver, and then he came back again a few days later, and I said, no, and then again, I was like, dude, what's up? Like, we're not waiting a time, and I'm here for you, like, what's the deal? Like, and he's like, oh, I was seeing someone just ended. I said, I'm sorry to hear that, good luck. Oh, he's probably seeing someone when he went out with you. No, and he's like, oh, I was seeing someone just ended. I said, oh, sorry to hear that. Good luck.

Oh, he's probably seeing someone when he went out with you. No, he was probably like, yeah, he met someone or he was dating to a tuba. I went out with him once. And I didn't even like him that much, even it was just annoying. I don't know, I was like, I don't know why I am,

but I got a feeling I think this is the one. I think he's doing. Really? I don't think so at all. Okay, there are only two personality traits you need for a lasting relationship. Do you know what they are? Anderson because your relationship has been lasting communication and money. Nope.

Okay, John Gottman who I actually love he's actually he's a psychologist and he actually does the most I think impressive influential important studies on couples and he doesn't he's in a lot of studies about the predictability In which he can look at cause couples and meet with them. He'll know like there's certain like six points that he measures them just to be able to What sort of thing I have to dictate to you know to? Be able to predict in the future if they were last or not You know what I'm saying?

So he's gone back to these couples after we were studying them. Six years later, he went back and found out that couples that stayed together are kind and they're generous with each other. So. Kind and generous. That's it. That's it. The couples that were more judgmental, the couples who sniped each other, the couples who were, I mean, the couples who sniped at each other, the couples who were, I mean, I've read all these studies, the couples that were more kind of sending

to each other, the couples who were critical are not the couples that last. Oh, so people that like each other stay together. Yeah, that are nice and kind and generous and sweet. But if you've got this nippy relationship with your partner and you're bringing them down and you're making them feel bad or fat or lazy or ugly and never good enough and you never appreciate anything they do and you're critical you're probably getting a divorce. I know those co-workers. Right, so they should just break up now.

They're really doing it together. It's so weird. You know, they get off it in some way or they don't realize how dysfunctional they are. But John Gottman, who is a leader in this field, will tell you that you're about to get divorced. So you might as well just listen to me or go to therapy and work on it because you've anger issues and you know what? The fact that you're criticizing your partner so much and you're being so judgmental has nothing to do with your partner and

everything to do with you And your siblings it's a mirror. Yeah, go work that shit out and then get a partner But don't take it off on this person that you're gonna be used Emotionally and then when she or he moves on to their next relationship They're gonna be all beaten up because you didn't do a lot of time they turn around and they beat up the next person. I know, it's all messed up. Just like your girlfriend dumped you in high school. Yeah, I've treated girls like shit for so long.

I know, see what I mean. It lasts forever, so people to stop in your tracks now and get some help. Okay, we are gonna move into some emails now. Oh, but before we do that, what? We're gonna give a shout out to our sponsors. Hell yeah, we love them. You know, I really love.

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Go to sexwithemily.com, click on the good vibes banner, and use coupon code GVMLE20 for 20% off. Also if you want to continue having great and amazing sex, I know you listen to the show but you might not be able to last as long as you want bed. And I can't help you, I give you tips, I tell you things that you can do but you can also use the only FDA approved treatment for premature ejaculation and lasting longer bed and that it is promising. It's a quickly absorbing delay spray that allows you to have the sex you want.

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Okay, dear Emily, okay, so this email is from Stan who writes a lot in Boston and he wanted to know, are there, it's Loub questions? Because as you know, I'm a huge fan of Loub. I want my dream, my dream, and I've got few dreams, but this is in the top of list that there should be a Loub on every night stand in the world. That you should not be shameful of your loob, that you should leave it out there, loud and proud, because loob improves the relationship for every man and woman in a relationship, especially women. Women are more likely to orgasm with loob, blah, blah.

So, stand has a question, the difference between loob. Because there are so many loob you go to the store, and there's like hundreds of kinds, you're like, I don't know what to do. So, there is a difference between silicone and water-based type lubes. So, he also wants to know the difference between the ones that are compatible with condoms and our flavored lubes really good to add

some variety to oral situation or do they cause sensitivity. So, let me just break it down for you. It can be a very personal preference, which lubes works. I always lean people towards water-based lubricants just because they're safe, they're, they're less expensive and they're less likely to cause these infections and they can be used with every type of condom. So water-based is safe and I really like don't and there's also okay, there's also glycerin and non-glycerin.

So I say water-based without glycerin are the most common. It does, the lube does dry out quicker, but again, you won't cause any problems with, you know, sensitivity with the female genetia. So if you have, yeah, it's what I'm saying. So there's glycerin ones like KY gel, if the ones like KY liquid, I don't recommend those. Those are water-based with glycerin

because they've slightly sweet taste and they're slick. So y'all like that slickness of it, but it still has some ingredients in it that can cause a cystic texture and yeast infections. So I say non-glycerin water-based. Then you move on to silicone-based lubricants. Silicone-based lubricants. I love silicone-based lubricants

because they're the longest lasting of all the lubricants. They're exactly what you want in lubricants. I love silicone-based lubricants because they're the longest lasting of all the lubricants. They're exactly what you want in lubricants. They're like slippery and sticky and they feel really good and it's safe to use with all conums. The advantage of using silicone-based lubricants includes their effectiveness for women with sensitive genitalia. They can be used in water and their great for sensual body massages. So the thing about like I love Uberlobe is one of my favorite loops right now. They'll come pick you up. It does. I just got, yeah, it does pick me up.

Every time it picks me up baby it takes me exactly where I want to go. You know what I'm saying? I also love Pajur PJUR. They make an amazing loop and that's silicone-based loop. So that's the difference between all of them He also asked about the flavor loops and the warming loops I just think you should stay away from those because they can cause yeast infections with women And you just got to be really careful anytime someone adds a center

Smell to it and something that's like warming or leaving or numbing with leaving is fine numbing. I would I say no Did I answer all those questions? I think I did or leaving or numbing, and leaving, leaving is fine. And numbing, I say no. Did I answer all those questions? I think I did. The different types, because at times, yeah, we covered it. OK, that's a good loop rundown. I bet you just learned more than about loop than you ever thought you would, right, Anderson?

There's a lot of loop talk. OK, also, dear Emily, this is about being bored up. This is the woman who's bored on the bottom. Missionary. We're going to mix up the missionary position. Does more to like mission. You get a love being on top. What does the deal? It's easier for many women to achieve orgasm on top. And many women like missionary but it's freaking boring and it gets boring. Doesn't never get boring for you.

You're never like really missionary. You're just like, yeah, bring it. I'm a Christian man. The Lord tells me. Okay, dear Emily, when my partner and I have sex, I found myself getting bored. If I'm on the bottom and if I'm on the bottom and always end up on top, don't oh, listen to this Anderson, so you're wrong. Don't get me wrong. I love the control, but I feel he needs to have some as well. Is there anything you could do suggest for more thrilling sexual experience when I'm

on the bottom? So no, not every woman is climbing on top trying to get her own goddamn orgasm. Some women want to stay on the bottom and enjoy it. It's clearly stated that she likes being on top. She said her boyfriend pushes her on top all the time and she wants an enjoying missionary if you were listening. So here's some answers to you, Ella, about how to spice it up. The one that I talk about the most is the cat position, which is the coil alignment technique. And you, even for your dog person, you would like the cat position.

So you have him scoot forward about three inches from the usual missionary position. Following me, he's scooting forward. Go to my, okay, first of all. So like he's even taller than me. Yes. And on my website, there is a post called mixing up missionary or something like that. Just search missionary. It'll come up. So you can see the pictures. Yes. And on my website, there is a post called mixing up missionary or something like that. Just search missionary. It'll come up.

So you can see the pictures. He should rest his body on you, moving slowly up and down instead of in and out. So it's up and down. You're not going pound in and out. You're going rubbing in and out. And you can also wrap your ankles around his calves to secure him in the position. So in caposition, you have the greatest chance chance of experience a simultaneous orgasm with your partner, which is a double whim,

because you're hitting a clitoris and you're rubbing. Did you name this one? No, I didn't. Why is it cat? Where's the cat? A coil alignment technique. Ah, I see. Got it?

C-A-T. Right, yeah. Then there's the anvil. That sounds like something you would hate. This can work for some women. Instead of just lying there, drape your legs over it's on the bottom. I could get this. You're lying there.

Don't just lie there. Drape your legs over his shoulders while he kneels from above. This will increase the intensity of his thrusts while he hits your g spot. Because your legs over your shoulders and you can put a pillow underneath you which will even help him reach your G-spot more readily. And it's super comfy. And you'll be on your way to amazing orgasm. Number three, I've got three friggin tips for her to spice it up.

So, uh, L.I. you're welcome. The third one is the wrap around. Well he's on top of you. You wrap your legs around his whole body with your ankles crossed. So you're pulling him in. This secures him in a missionary position while making everything tighter down there. Clench your thigh muscles together, rock back and forth with them. So you've got your legs around his back, you're clenching, you're rocking back and forth.

You are rocking your G-spot and your clearest. Does that one have a name? The rap around. It's another baby monkey. What? The baby monkey. Do you want to rename it in my next book? It gives you a baby monkey's rap around.

And is like your baby monkey? If you get up, you'd still be cleaning, don't you? I like a qualifier. Oh, you're going to the kitchen to get to the knee. I'm still rap around you. Hey, you talk about this as though the G spot is real and B, everyone has them. It is real. You don't think it exists? Tell that to my vagina.

Tell that to her vagina. Say that again. Tell that to Madison again. I said, tell that to my vagina. Thank you very much. Tell that straight to Madison's vagina. Is that part of the requirements to become an intern as you must have a G-S? No, I've had interns.

Yes. Every single one of your interns. No, I've had interns who have never had orgasms until they worked for me and I'm very proud that I launched their orgasm. Let's be clear that Emily didn't give them. I just. They're their first orgasm. No, no, no, I did not give it to them. I explained to them how and or I give them the magic wand. Which is kind of true. So what was the question? So g-spots, no, they're elusive. There is debate in the community, in medical community mostly by men, that the G spot

doesn't exist. It's named ever Graffenberg. He was made never a man. And the truth is, the whole region is kind of, you know, down there, the Graffenberg is what the G spots stands for. We got a word. German or a Jew. German Jew. Grafenberg. Grafenberg sounds like German. So listen here. You're hitting me, Grafenberg. So hot. Not every woman has been able to find her to do spot.

And that every woman will find, like not to go home, be able to orgasm internally. That's true. It doesn't mean that she doesn't have one or that doesn't exist. However, a lot of women give up because they're not able to reach it during intercourse. And so there's so many other ways women can reach it they can use their fingers, he can use his fingers, whatever, if she's got a female partner, fingers are great. Let's just say that. You let your fingers do the walk in to find her G spot, just great toys, they're just

G spot stimulation toys. There's a whole bunch of ways. Why are we gonna do that? Right. What are you talking about? Oh, you asked me about the G spot. Dude, that wasn't even fine. No, I needed it enough. Many people wanted it enough. I'm actually writing down Graffinburg in my phone right now.

You know this? I guess you... I bet most people listen to this didn't know it was a Graffinburg. Well, I guess they wouldn't know that, but they wouldn't... and people do question if it exists or not. And the truth is that hope, like, for example, the pelvic region, if you're having sex with the woman you're pulling around third, putting your fingers inside of her, throwing from all sex, if you press down on her pelvic mound or pelvic, her pelvic muscles, her pubic bone, like above her pubic hair if she has any which, how it doesn't. If that is also connected, it can be internally hitting her G spot as well. So there's different ways to reach this so people can say, oh, it's all part of the

same thing. You can hit it from the outsides, where you say? Yeah. Absolutely. You can also hit it annually, but we're not doing what I always talk about. Have you ever seen that Asian dude that he, like, does it without touching the women? Like, he like, floats his hand over the vaginas

and then he wants to go, I'm gonna go see that guy over Christmas. Do you think that you're the only other? Do you think it's like a, No, I think it's, I know, no, I'm going over to India. I swear I have. You really? And you're gonna get like a phantom orgasm?

Wouldn't that be awesome? If anyone should have one I deserve one just the hand his hand is hovers I know I know a whole film coming on. I just went to the preview of it. It was a very Small screening private screening. What was it called? Can't tell you you're not allowed to tell me We're getting Sundance can't tell you okay, and she went and she did this and I want to go to India just for that reason and I it's so funny. Okay. I just got distracted myself So no he really does it's true and it's real and I just think that there's what I'm saying is not every woman can have what you Not every woman very distracted everyone. I know dude. Did you want some to true Dr. Drew is saying to my right holding a jack Daniel's bottle I bought some friends. I really see dude, did you want some too? Drew, Dr. Drew is standing into my right holding a Jack Daniels bottle. I bought some for Anne.

You rarely see. Okay. So, but what was I even saying? I'm all distracted. We're talking about a G spot and then we moved on. No, I moved on to the Asian man. Oh, the Asian man. He's actually Indian.

And here's the thing about orgasms. So this goes back to the Lodizbath thing. There are, our bodies have such potential to experience so much orgasmic bliss that we don't even know, we are bodies have such potential to experience so much orgasmic bliss that we don't even know, we don't know possible, which is why I talk about women not being disappointed by the partners because really you're giving yourself, like it's not his responsibility or her responsibility whoever you're with, it's your responsibility and once you take the time to learn your body, you might not have, you might not find your

juice pot the first second third 50th time you look for it, but it'll show up. You got to put the time. Fifty first. Who knows? I'm just saying people like, oh, I didn't work, I never had it. I've never had it. You might not have it with a partner, you may only have it with a toy or a finger, but you know. Keep exploring. Yeah, keep going. Life is too short just to have sex the same way every time with the same person No, you can have sex in person a lot of women think that the vaginas are flat But they're actually round like the earth right and they've lost some beautiful like flowers like George

Jokey and I can't believe you didn't agree with me on that. I was old ancient history and let's move forward No, I'm just really sad that you don't think of blossoming turn off a giant as beautiful My yeah, you probably just don't pay attention if you were going down there and looked at it and like, it depends, like how to contact, especially like right after you were done, we're looking at that thing. It looks like something out of predator. Some might feel that way. And some think it's beautiful.

Not after it. And nothing's really beautiful after after after after you figured it out. Maybe a shower. Siggrats are good when I smoke it was delicious. Okay. So do we have time? We don't even really have time for another question right now. Yeah, we do. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again.

I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again.

I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again.

I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. I'll say it again. One that I can easily we can all easily digest Dear Emily, I'm struggling with some aspects of my relationship I love my boyfriend of seven months, but we disagree on certain things He insists on paying for everything in our relationship despite the fact that I make more than him I'm also in comfort with his dirty talk. He constantly calls me whore and slut. We are having sex What should I do? Thanks? Sarah

What if you put rich and for what's wrong with her in slut? What? There's a you rich or you rich slut Sugar mama. Maybe she wants to be sugar mama not her slut I have to be honest though Dirty talk is a subject that you know you need to talk to him about you need to talk to him when you're not in the bedroom And you don't because a lot of people are into it. How long is your husband long shooting with them? Seven months. OK, that's not very long.

I get it. People usually wait a little while to talk about things. And you just go to tell them that that's not really, you know, my jam. Doesn't make me feel good when you say that in the bedroom. I love it. No, first you have to say, sex with you is amazing. I love having sex with you.

Your penis is so beautiful. When we're really getting on, I'm really turned on. And then sometimes you call them, you say some things to me when we're having sex with you. Your penis is so beautiful. When we're getting on, I'm really turned on. And then sometimes you call me, you say some things to me when we're having sex, and it just kind of kills and moves for me. So please don't do that. I would like it if you wouldn't no longer use those terms.

Let them know that you are very satisfied and sometimes you're just gonna come for what things you says. Money. So, you know, what would you say to that? I mean, the thing is maybe she's like, horn's slut, but there's other things like, oh baby, that's so hot, you really turn me on. Your ass looks great.

I don't know. Maybe she's like, horn slut, because she's obviously a feminist, like most women, many women. And she's upset about the money thing, which is very, very interesting, because I always say men, I tell men, you know, default towards paying, you know,

but they're in a relationship and she wants to pay. And I get it. I feel that way too when I'm with a guy, I will pay the whole thing. But money can be so difficult to navigate in a relationship because God, money, sex, children, the biggest killers of people's relationships and sex drives because money is so charged, right? It's actually for men, it can be a masculating if she makes more, if he makes, she makes more than that.

If he makes less, yeah. If he makes less. And, and he makes less. And she's a major woman. And he feels inferior. And they're very sensitive. So you have to approach this with caution, the subject with caution as well.

You can suggest staying in and maybe doing things that are don't cost as much. But you can also say, I'm only going to dinner tonight if it's my treat. And so ahead of time, before the bill comes to be slapped down on the table, you've already dealt with it ahead of time. You can also buy groceries, buy treats for his house, make him feel good, but really this is really, really touchy.

So the fact is he wants to be the man, which is sort of the male brain. I mean, part of it is paying for things, hunting, gathering, right? Anderson, you know, would you be down to a little bit all the time? To an extent. But I mean, I think seven months, you can ask, just ask, would you be down for a little bit all the time? To an extent. But I mean, I think seven months, you can ask, just ask the dude, be like, what's this all about? Why do you have to pay for everything?

This is not right. I'm not used to this, it makes me uncomfortable. Yeah, you know the thing is, you want to like about this email, actually, Sarah, most of these emails are sort of fatal, and I would just want to say, it's not going to go anywhere. It doesn't sound like it's a good match.

No, no, this to me is actually totally, this to me seems totally doable. Like these are, like, not a good match. No, no, this to me is actually totally, this to me seems totally doable. Like these are not a big. You can make more money than her. No, no, no, they can handle the money situation in a way that he still feels like he's the man in the relationship. She can find ways to make that he still feels like a man and he's cool with it and they learn how to compromise while she's going to pay.

And also the dirty talk, I mean, maybe a lot of women liked it and she doesn't. I don't know. I just, I don't think this is of women liked it and she doesn't. I don't know. I just, that, that, that, that freaks me out. You think this is a fatal flaw? Any guy who's having sex with her and calling her a slut in a horror, I think they're and demanding to pay for everything. Does he work around metals, curler, what else? Um, he might, he might, but I don't know what to mean.

Like a snake. And it's only been seven months. So I think Sarah, you got to deal with this tomorrow. And um, yeah, don't wait and see. I can imagine caring about anyone enough to have sex with them. And then while I'm calling them slut and horror I get like dirty talk, but the slut But there's a lot of women that are into that kind of thing. So I also like being spit

I don't know that he escalate like I wonder if the first date He was like, oh baby, you're my slut. You're my horror like usually you escalate to that Which I always have done a ton of shows and dirty talk that you really shouldn't start with the slut horror things are there too Out there, so you're down with being called the slut and the horror and I did not say that at all I said that there are many people who are down with that they want to be called things that are too out there. So you're down with being called a slut in the heart. No, I did not say that at all. I said that there are many people who are down with that. They want to be called things that are even more extreme. Some people just want like, hey baby,

that feels so good. When you're inside me, go, keep going. Don't stop. Feels amazing. Oh my god, I'm going to come. That's it. That's sturdy. So there's a range.

So I wouldn't say you started out. A lot of passion behind that. Oh, baby, don't stop. That feels so good. And you just lost a lot of the things. I wouldn't say you started a passion behind that Baby don't stop that feels so good and you just lost a lot of it. I wasn't they're finished now and they're moving on to other things I wasn't in my moonshot 30s. I had to be in the mood. Oh, it was good Which one suggesting that they came and now they're done What I'm saying is this seems negotiable, but but right if he is not respecting that you are a modern woman Who's independent make sure on living and doesn't want things to the better.

I mean, he's like, my way, the highway, then you're done. But I think what I'm saying is either way, she's going to figure out very quickly if this is something she should live with or something she should. Just talk to him about it. Seven months in. You should be able to talk. People don't talk about anything until it's gone. It's called while having sex.

No, it's a worst. It's a worst time. When she's going to a slut in a horror, be like, yeah, you have to pay for everything. What's that all about little man? Yeah, I That's her dirty. They don't Okay, cheap skater. Yeah, hey loser When's last time your paste your peanut your pace up is shorter than your penis That's a great way to call the relationship right there. No never bring it up during sex. It's a bad time to give feedback

Unless it's like out your cum came my face and I can't actually see that I'm in pain. And now you have to pay for glasses. Okay, this is a great show. I'm having such a good time but I'm afraid that we just have to wrap it up. But it's been amazing. You're amazing Anderson. And like I said everyone checked out his podcast, uh, film vault and after disaster and check me out everywhere. Sex with Emily. Feedback. What? She, oh sexual health experts come to that. It's all on my website and also yeah, follow me on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. Sex with Emily and thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? E-Mommy. Feedback at sexwithemily.com.

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