Sex With Emily - Dry Spells & Deep Throats

Episode Date: June 15, 2016

In honor of Adult Sex-Ed Month, this show is focused on expanding your sexual health knowledge. Emily gives a crash course on STD’s and STI’s, from causes to symptoms to the importance of keeping yourself protected.   She also answers emails on a range of sex topics, including when to get tested in a committed relationship, how to improve your deepthroating skills and what to do when your partner withholds sex. She even shares a fun masturbation story, as per a listener’s request. Sure it’s not the sexiest subject, but the more you know about sexually transmitted diseases and infections, the safer, happier and healthier you’ll be! So do yourself (and your sex partners) a favor and tune in… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and today's podcast, we're focusing on your sexual health. We'll be talking about STDs, STIs, and also getting into some hot sex tips. What to do when your partner takes sex completely off the table, and how to master the true art of the deep throat? All that and more, thanks for listening. You know what I never get tired of? Talking about the Magic Wand?

Seriously, it's like telling stories about your best friend. I actually think I have more stories about Magic Wand than I do my best friend. The Magic Wand was part of my life long before it was part of the show, and now it's time to make it part of your life too. For more than 30 years, the Magic Wand has been the trusted toy that women around the world reach for first. In fact, check this. Time Magazine just named the Magic Wand is one of the top 10 most influential gadgets

of all time. We're talking next to the iPod and the calculator. Time Magazine people, if that doesn't say it all, I don't know what will. The perfectly sized original Magic Wand delivers amazing power and control and is incredibly simple to use. Just plug in the 6th record for uninterrupted pleasure. For more information on the Magic Wand, visit magicwandoriginal.com today or click on the Magic Wand Paner on my website. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions.

Bit-roof eyes, they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got every standard, oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, not only? What do you mean, like, laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I feel so gone. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemlee.com. We can do so many things there. God our site is fun.

Man, has that you seen it lately? It's great. It is so fun with a brand new website. Well, it's like a few months old, but it's getting better every day. Right. Just like we are. We have to do like a incognito Domain name so when people

They want to go to sexelmy.com Or if you're at the office. We try to do that redirecting. We tried that it didn't work I'll fix it now people can do it and also we've got it's really easy when you get there because you should subscribe That helps us as well and we do to a week and you'll never miss a show again So you subscribe and then just follow us. Twitter, Instagram, snapchat, sex with Emily across the board and Facebook.com slash slash slash family. So you've been snapchatin' like crazy or what?

Yeah, you know, okay, so I go and snapchat phases, but I, yes, pretty much every day, well, you don't look at my snapchat probably, but maybe it's fun. It's a good time. I have to say yesterday, so I was on Playboy TV yesterday. I was on a show called talking dirty in Burbank You know what they feel like to go to playboy studio

And so my friend Kimberly if you might Kimberly she was on a show before anyway I think she went in cognito because she was talking about dirty things But her friend owns the skincare line called perfect and it's like you see how I kind of look shiny in tan right now But I'm not it's this makeup that you just put on your skin, but it's like called liquid glow. What was this one called, Madison? Like liquid glow or, and then liquid gold. Oh, nice. And he was rubbing, he's gay.

It's cool, but he was like rubbing his hands up and down my legs. I'm doing this really funny shoot because for Playboy, I'm like, what do I, because the show is called Talking Dirty. It's a talk show and they're like, what do I wear? Like what you'd wear out, like if you're going to the Playboy mansion, and I'm like, you know, what, like a bunny suit, like, what would I wear? Like, let me think about it. I swam suit. Yeah, exactly. So, um, so I wore sexy hot black dress, and then I looked super tan and sparkly,

and they were doing, we just shot really funny snaps about that. But here's the funny thing. So I go on this talk show with Dan and Andrea, who were the hosts of the playboy morning show. This is a new show called Talking Dirty. It's like we're shooting the episodes right now. We're sitting there. It's like a normalist myself and a comedian, it's guys Sean. We're talking, having normal crowd conversations, they kind of set it up like watch what happens

live with a cabaret. We're sitting there drinking, talking, and we're like civilized and asking, there's questions about how should men last longer and bad? But like, well, let's cut to the TV. Let's check out the models on the screen and see what they have to say. And then all of a sudden, we're like sitting there. There's like, models like, this is how I like

to be turned on, or this is what I want to meant to last in bed at least 30 minutes. So he can please me, and then they get naked. So like, all of a sudden you're sitting there, and you're like, having to, and they cut to, cause it's a playboy, women. And then the next thing was then the next thing was like I really want a man to take it all and I'm like, whoa Like I'm not I wasn't expecting to see that So they shock you with that and then they go back to us talking and then they say

How would you set this mood for sex? I'm like, you know giving my you know You got to stress de-stress for better sex and you know play music turn off your phones like well Let's see what our playboy. And they cut to the screen again. And there's like a woman with a bathtub outside in the wilderness. She's like, this is a great scene for me sex. And then she gets naked and has sex with the woman. But it's not like a two, it's like a 40 second clip and then they go back to like, hi, we're having a talk show.

Wow, that's cool. Yeah, playboy is super fun. I remember like back, back in the day, I set up my buddy who lived in Los Angeles. I told him that I had to, I had to come to Los Angeles with some winners from a radio contest and I had to drive them somewhere, right? But I said, yeah, man, come with me. So I set him up to meet me somewhere and then I hit him up,

I said, hey, dude, I can't make it. Can you do me a favor? Can you drive these winners to this place, right? But the whole setup is he didn't know that these two winners were actually a Playboy model. Oh. And then they started like making out with each other in the back seat and taking their clothes off.

Was it his best day ever? It was the best day ever, but. He's married what more men and go friends oh geez oh man that's so good you think you're just driving some guests from wherever and it's a playboy money making out playboy he's making in your car that's hilarious so that was playboy yeah it's a good time I like going over there and saying hi to those people yeah and then I had my birthday party Hardly. Yeah, yeah.

I have something for you. You do? Oh, you're sweet. Thank you. I love it. It's the best present I ever had. But life is like, so crazy right now. But next time I see you.

Yeah, next time you see me, I'll be waiting for it. But it was fun. You know, my best friend, Charlotte, came in from San Francisco. You know, Charlotte. And I just, I never feel like, I don't know. I've let you friends here, right? I want to to plan and it was so like planning. I just want to hang out with friends that weren't below. And so I just invited some people to me

at this restaurant called Maya. I decided like the day before and I'm like, people show up. Maybe they won't. It's fine. But then like a lot of like really good people showed up that I was excited to see and it being a foot like as no pressure. Just like show up, have drinks dinner and then like people in my team were there, friends were there, my former agent, like people I knew from all over my life and that felt really good. And I think it's important to do something with, there should be, here's my deal with birthdays, what I've learned.

Never have a party where there are sheds on the list, like that you should invite this person, you should, like, you know, life is too short to spend time or you have to hang out people, especially on your birthday, the people you think that you have to invite friends because you know each other since kindergarten. Like it was just people I loved. Yeah. So it was a great way to ring in the new birthday. I wish I was there. I'm sorry.

Except for you were not there. So there was a tiny little piece of my heart that was broken, but the rest of the night was a blast from whatever. Cool. Well, I'm happy you had a good time. Yeah, I was, unfortunately I was in Las Vegas, but. That's okay. I don't think you've been at one of my parties since like 2007. What? Dude, it's fine. I don't go

to your seat there, but we love each other. And here we are. Yeah, what's up? It's so you galloping on the world. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I was in Las Vegas and stuff like that, but I'm on a couple shows I've been mentioning that I hooked up with the Habit Burger and done all these different charity organization fundraisers. Right. And we did Hope of Paws, we did the Phoma Research Foundation and Parkinson's research. And we raised a ton of money and we just got some grand totals in today. It was great.

But you raised. It raised about over $15,000. You did alone? Yeah, it was crazy. Well, I mean, the Woody show, the mourn show that I'm on. But you were the one that there were like, legions of fans, and they had to call them like, pepper spray or something.

Like they had to call the cops and pepper spray, right? No, no, no, no. I mean, they, yeah, I was out at school. I was like, impressed. Like all these people showed up for you. I mean, I would, of course, I would show for you. We had that kind of relationship. But I just knew there's a whole group.

Okay, fine, congratulations. You guys are doing good work. Yeah. I don't want to say it was all me. It was good. Man, I'm glad you're giving back to the community trying. Yeah, you're doing a good job. Okay, listen, we got to talk about something really important right now. All right. Okay, sexual health awareness. And we get a lot of questions about STDs, STIs, like people say like one and three people have something. Like how do you know? How do you know if the person you're sleeping with, like people say like one and three people have something like how do you know? How do you know if the person you're sleeping with like I'm fine, I'm clean and you sleep with them without the people I feel like they so at use condoms.

Never. Never. Like my friends are like I could use the condom no. But like here's the thing, 110 million Americans are affected with STDs any given time. And here's the thing it's not as bad as you think as the other thing. I'm going to talk you through what happens, the difference between an STD and an STI,

because STI is fairly new, remember, which is STDs. So how many are out there, the rest? This is going to be just a little touch up here, a little freshen up from what you probably did not learn when you were in high school. What do you got, lay it on me? OK. So common questions about STDs and ST Okay. So, common questions about STIs.

So they're kind of interchangeable. An STI, which is a sexually transmitted infection, means that it hasn't developed into a disease yet, right? So like a woman who has HPV and she shows no symptoms of an infection, but if she develops cervical cancer, as a result, she has an SCD, okay? So the reason why STIs came around,

because it kind of has to go to the less negative connotation of a disease, but that's just the difference. So you all know, we get asked that all the time. 27 STIs are listed in medical textbooks. She is. I know, that's a lot, right? An infection can turn into many different types of diseases hard to know how they all originate, but here's the most common ones.

All right. These are super sexy. I should say I'm really dirtier. Oh. Most common infections. Yeah. Climidia. Ooh, that's sexy.

Genital warts. Ooh, my favorite. H-P-V. Oh, love it. Genital herpes. Ah. Most common diseases. Yeah. Pukkata-v-A. Genital Herpes. Oh. Most common diseases.

Yeah. Pukotooia. Oh. Pid pelvic inflammatory disease. Encyclose. Oh, fun. Yeah. Hepatitis B, C, as well as HIV are also well known and very serious.

So that's why you just got to get tested. Okay. Every six months. And I don't want to hear you don't have health insurance. I don't want to hear, you know, and there's also like we're going to tell you me about easy, you can do it online, you can order it on Amazon, a kit, get tested home. You think it's not going to happen to you, most people think it's not. They're like, oh, I've heard this excuse. Well, I knew the guy. I mean, I was a friend of my friend,

like, you wouldn't mind me. A lot of times people don't know that they even have wins and I'm sure are carrier. So even if they're the most honest person in the world, you really just have to make sure that you're taking precautions. Okay. So young people, most are risk and those in the LGBTQI community far more likely to become impacted. To those groups that you just mentioned, one of them, the young group, I know a guy who had to go through Climidia and then the other one was LGBT community, he went through Climidia too. And they're telling me how get rid of that thing is like a huge needle, like it's stuck

in your ass. Yep. Well, you take a pill too. I feel like a dare too. They both said needles. Okay. Well, my friend, okay. So here's the thing, Climidia, just FYII Climidia is on the rise right now because I've had two friends to girlfriend

to a Climidia and it was one night she had sex that a condom with the guy and it was like the next day she had the kitchen went to the clinic and she took a pill and it was gone or two. Oh, okay. Maybe they caught it early. Maybe, but what I'm saying is it's like I'd never even had friends when people tell me everything So it's not like they weren't telling you and all they're telling you like people are getting it So guess what condoms are awesome. And here's the other thing young women They're more susceptible to getting an STD or STI because they check this do do their anatomy Did you know this no underdeveloped cervixes and smaller bodies?

Are more likely to tear and leave women susceptible to infections. So we have little tears that can happen, aggressive sex, pounding something, we're more likely. Another reason why women suffer more. Once a month, we're like PMS, we're angry. I always realize like a quarter of my life,

I'm like probably PMS, and at least like four or five days, like that's a long time. If you had those days to suffer so women, it's our thing. So be careful and use cons. But if you think that you're not, you mean to this, if you're like, oh, I'm straight guy, I'm mad, I'm just going to pound everyone this weekend, forget the condoms. Even if you're serum enogamists, going from one serious monogamous relationship to another that increases your risk of contracting SDI because because if you stop taking precautions because you're exclusive with someone.

So let's say you're like, oh, we've been together for three months. And now we're going to be exclusive and like you stop wearing condoms, but you don't get tested. You just think we're exclusive now. That person could still be a carrier. And a lot of times you could have something for months and not know. So the point is, I know, Do you want to get tested after? I've got this kit, you can use.

Hold, let's get tested. Okay, so- Do you want to do like a sex with Emily testing day? Like make it fun, like I've clowns and a carnival? I actually had a buddy who did a morning show and they wanted to do a bit where they read his results on air and he wouldn't do it. No, no, no, that's that good.

There you go. The boys are like, think you can't get laid before. Yeah. But the, so, but you met, you kind of mentioned, there's home testing kits, right? Yes, exactly. It's called My Lab Box, My MI, L-A-B-B-O-X. And God, do we still have that on our site medicine?

Like, blog itself is called, Learn Him Treat Him Tested. Learn Him Treat Him Tested. So check-I'm Treat-I'm Tested. So check that out. Sweet. Oh, no, right. Okay, how are they spread and transmitted? So they are spread through contact with an infected area, skin or mucus membranes, sores

in the mouth. So you could have one of those like canker sores in the mouth, go down in someone. There you go. Damn. So I know. And these could happen during vaginal and oral sex. And if people are always asking about kissing and Kissing it won't carry like the risk of infection

But if you like it open sore or an oral sore, they could transmit it. Damn it. I know dude Stop digging your tongue and everyone's throat But I can't help myself. I know So how do you say protective? The most common way use a condom every single time. And if you use condoms in the past and they saw up, you're like, oh, but I couldn't feel anything. It was like wearing a ringcoat, it'd be either not.

There are great condoms. They've changed a lot, okay? There's a lot of different sizes. They have little bumps and ridges and some are like mint and they feel good and you don't try them out. So they're the only foreign birth control that prevent STIs and just do it, okay? But don't ever try wearing two condoms because that doesn't work Oh, okay, I got to make a note here about oral sucks

So the other day I was driving in the car of my friend from San Francisco called me and she's mostly I've been friends with her for 20 years and she's You know serial monogamous. She's probably you know, she's not a virgin But she's had a lot of monogamous relationships and she's been with a lot of men over the years Not a lot, but the point is she said to me Emily. I've got a really serious question. I'm dating a guy casually now What do I do about giving them blow jobs like about protection? I was like really like I'm like You've never given just like a random blow job to someone that you weren't in a committed relationship with and she said no I have not and she she said, I know. And I thought, I felt, first of all,

I was really proud of her. I thought that sounded really interesting. But she's like, what are the risks? What are the risks? I'm like, well, this is a great question. I mean, you could wear a condom over his penis when you're giving a low job. That's really the only way that she could

or just don't give a low job. And she was like, that's really it. And it's true. But the risks, I mean, it's not as high as having sex with that economy, but it's still up there. But you definitely inspect the penis before it goes in your mouth. I mean, if there's an outbreak or weird source,

then you know, and same with the vagina, it's something going on there. And then when you're going down a woman, there's the dental dam, which nobody ever uses. Like we all joke in our sex community, like, you know what they look like, dental dams are like a piece of latex. You put over the vagina.

But like, we like, hold on a minute, let me use my dental dam. But the truth is, I tried one once for fun, because I'm like, I gotta try, it actually feels good. Because- Wait, you had it on yourself, where you tried it some time ago.

No, a guy was going down to me and he put, he like, use dental dam. And the thing is, is that material against your lip, your baby, your, your, all the nerve endings, the clitoris, like, it actually feels really good. Like, I always say like, touch a woman over her underwear, like, over something silky.

Like, it actually wasn't horrible. Where do you even get a dental dam? Get him at any sex toy store. And you know what, you can even make a dental dam out of a condom. I did this. Do you remember the, I was on the doctor's TV show? Oh yeah.

Years ago. And they were like, could you come on and we'd like you to talk about dental dams. I was like, sure. And then it gets like the call sheet and they're like, dressed like you're going to church. Oh my God. All right. And like and talk about dental dams. So I get on stage and I had to show everyone at home how we should post it on the website, how to make their own dental dams. So you cut a tip off a condom. Yeah. And then you cut it down the middle like the long way. And then you cut it down the middle, like the long way. And then you open it up, condom. You make, I'm like, everyone can do this at home.

And mom's like, I'm so proud of my daughter. Like in a way, she's on the doctor's TV show, but she's also talking about dental dams. Yeah, she told everybody. So proud of me. Wait a minute, turn it off. So, um, okay, so if you want to be safe, you can try a flavored condom.

Taste like mint. If you want to suck the penis over the thing. I think in my day, I've had a strawberry flavored condom. Really? I don't know how it tastes because I wasn't the one who found out. Because you were not applying yourself. Right, I'm saying that you absolutely should try it because I actually like the dental dam. And if you're at all worried, like here's the thing, life is all about trusting your gut

and your instincts. If you're with like a foreign penis or a foreign, you know, vulva and you're like, I'm not so sure about this person, no one's gonna like judge you and say like, why are you doing that? Just go for it and be safe. It's important. Yeah, no guys gonna turn it down.

He's not gonna be like, oh, sorry, I don't wanna blow job with that on. Yeah. Right? No. And if he does, guess what? You certainly don't wanna give him a blow job. He doesn't even deserve your lips on his penis.

Okay, so here are the symptoms how you might know that you have something. Sores, itching, burning, sensation. You're probably familiar with those, but there's more, like, that's usually how it starts. Have you ever had anything? No. See, women get, we even get like, we get UTIs all the time. We get better, we'll get, what do they call? Urinary tract infections and these infections, thank you, which is so not sexy, but what happens? So we know the itching in the burning, but this is what happens to men as well.

But testicular pain in men can happen for sign of gonorrhea. Oh, really? How are your testicles feeling? Great. And women in the lower belly, they're going to feel that occurring in them. And flu-like symptoms could indicate HIV. And here's the other bummer thing that's the one I'm close out with.

And just pay attention to this. If you have no symptoms, it doesn't mean that you're in the clear because the most common HPV, gonorrhea, herpes, chlamydia, the symptoms can be totally mild and not short for years. So you might not even know that it happened that you're carrying it, you don't know that you have it,

and then all of a sudden you have it in sex in the year, maybe, or six months, and you're like, here I have this thing. So just pay attention to it, some are treatable, curable, what's the difference? So a lot of them are treatable. Can't young people now get an HPV shot? They can, and there are still,

they say to like the age 26 or 27, and they should. There's no reason not to, they say to like the age 26 or 27. And they should. There's no reason not to. No one's saying there's any risks with it. But I've also heard lately that there's studies that you could actually do it a little bit older than that. Really?

Yeah. Totally. So why not do everything that you can to prevent it. And the ones like Climidia gonorrhea syphilis, you can cure with antibiotics if it's treatment of salt early up early enough. Herpes, words, hepatitis B, HIV, their viral infections, they can be treated not cured. Yeah, you're with them. So even though testing might be scary and awkward and you're worried about it, obviously

it's worth it and it's my lab box check out if you want to do it at home. No one needs to know. You never have to leave your house. So any questions? How's your itching and burning? My itching and burning is fine. It's very good though for people just to educate themselves. And again, I think that the home kit is awesome

because so many people probably don't get tested because they're too embarrassed to go do anything. So I definitely I suggest if you know if you have no clue What's going on with your body and you're too shy to go to the doctor? Just definitely get one of these home kids. You'll have it up at sex only Yeah, totally okay, okay, that's good Okay, so now we're gonna get into some sexy stuff. I can still talk dirty though But we're gonna give a big shout out to our sponsors real quick

All right, I have a confession. I'm not what you'd call a good cook. Okay, to be honest, I've never really tried. Let's just say I don't cook at all, and it's not because I don't want to, I love food, but I just don't make the time. But I've tried, and you and I do minus at least a few times a year, I get super inspired,

I buy a bunch of groceries, I commit to lunch, dinner every day. And next thing I know, I'm tossing out produce like two weeks later. Have you ever done this? Like been really inspired to cook? Yeah, I mean, I love cooking. Okay, so maybe I only want to do this. But I throw it away.

I don't do it anymore. I can't do it. I can't cook. But I'm with you though. I just don't have time. No time. That's a thing. So now, I get home every night.

I'm starving. I want to make dinner. No time. Well, that's a thing. So I get out now, I get home every night, I'm starving, I want to make dinner, I have zero food, zero plan. But now it's changed. Blue apron. Do you know how blue apron? Do you know how blue apron? I've been hearing about blue apron for a long time. I am so obsessed, they develop gourmet meals,

they measure the ingredients for you, I don't even need measuring cups, and they ship them directly to me, 100% ready to cook. I open the box. Even I can follow the simple instructions and I have this amazing meal that I cooked. I like made a Peruvian roast chicken and potatoes. I made a Japanese rice bowl and mushroom tempura. Like I don't even know how you would do that. I did it and it's so high-end and quality

I impressed myself. I love everything about Blue Apron. It's quality ingredients. You can follow the recipes and the incredible meals. And you can have like different ones every week that come to you. So it's not like you're getting the same meal every single day. And just like what you find, like a high-end restaurant. I know this sounds way too easy to be true, but get this. It is also incredibly affordable.

The gourmet meals cost as little as $10 a person. And right now you get two meals free and free shipping. Go to blueaprim.com slash Emily to see this week's recipes. Get your two free meals. That's blueaprim.com slash Emily. Jogged. Alright, Menace. Let's answer some emails.

But seriously, do I seem healthier, do you know? You do. You seem like you have a lot more energy. I do. Yeah. More than usual. Three times better. That's great. Because I'm eating. More than usual. Three times the same. OK, let's go into some emails.

Because we love everyone. And we love when you email us at feedback at sexwithamily.com. And pretty much, you guys are pretty good at answering the instructions or answering our questions, but people are putting their age. And it makes a difference. Oh, yeah, the answer. It really contacts.

And we are going to be having a voice smell soon set up. The people can call and leave message. It really context. And we, you know, we are gonna be having a voice smell soon set up that people can call and leave message. It will be taking callers. It's happening the next few months, but for now, just age. Age. Where you live? How you listen?

Yeah, so do listen. So easy. Well, like I love you, but I'm still gonna read it. Yeah, you listen, sex zombie dog. I'm still gonna read it, but. Yeah, but it helps. How about sister brothers? It does help. Okay. Thank you. Hey Emily I've just gotten into podcasts and found your shows really helpful

It's so good to know that there's someone else who shares the same similar problems I did a quick scan through your podcast for tips on deep throating do you have any experience that you can share my girl I've been trying to do it my girls been trying to do it for a long time, but it seems she can't take it past the curve. It's not so much a gagging issue. It's more like she's just unable to open up her thought that far. Any tips on how to do a real deep throat. Thanks Ben. Let me just make a note here that nobody asked about deep throating 10 years ago, and this is directly due to what people are seeing in porn. Agree, you're disagreeing, menace. Agree.

Like, were you even thinking about deep thirting then? Not that you're thinking about it now. I was never into it because I always think that the girl, because... Could you care so much about women? I absolutely do. But the thing is, I always think that they're choking and they're going to barf on me. Because... Because it happened. In high school, not... I wasn't barf on me. Because, because in high school,

not, I wasn't barfed on, but my buddy was, because you, she might just been drunk though. But I don't get the appeal because I think it's like stopping down because doesn't mess up the flow, you know, by having this guy. The flow of the sexual flow, like the energy in the room. I know she's gagging on me. Like she could die, right?

Like she could, like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, doesn't take the energy in the room. I know, she's gagging on me. Like she could die, right? Like she could, she could like, it takes you, it doesn't take you out of the moment. I'm asking the person that it's into this. I mean, if they want more people want to email in and ask for a... I want to know what, right. We're really trying to do on it, but I think it's... But only see, this is what is so frustrating

about doing the sexual misshow for 10 years. When we try to ask somebody why they are into a certain thing, they can never give me a freaking answer. You know, so I don't even know why I'm asking people why they're into that. But for me, definitely, I, because when I'm receiving a blowjob, I, I want a fluid motion going on

and I think that would disrupt it. You know, I get it. Also take me out of, you know, all thinking that the girl's sexy. I'm like, oh, she's dying. She's going to bar for me. How is this hot, you know? She's willing to die for my penis. But some people are into getting barfed on too.

So what are you saying? It's not that you always get barfed on, but it can hit your gag reflex. And back to high school, I think a lot of that happened. And in college, your girls were just really drunk. Yeah. I thought it was my friends all of a sudden. I was like, well, it's not a bar for the guy's penis. And then I passed out, I think a lot of that happened and in college, girls were just really drunk. Thought it was my friends all of a sudden, I was like, well, I'm sorry, I'm a bar for the guys, penis, and then I passed out, like giving a blowjob.

That happens, but with the deep though thing, it's like, I think it feels really good because the tip is really sensitive. It's in the bed and they're like, oh, she's taking it in and she's willing to gag and her eyes are watering and that's really hot because I'm so big and I'm making her feel this way. I think, and it's visually can be stimulating,

but I know what you're saying that you want the back and forth pressure, and then it's just sitting on the back of your throat, but just because it's hitting the back of the throat, she could still be taking it in and out, and it's keeps going back to throat and then out again. It's not just sitting in the back of the throat, choking her, but maybe for a few seconds it is,

whatever you're going to, email us. I know you're like, what, are you done? Do you need water? Check on 911? Okay Ben, welcome to the show. I'm so glad you found us and we found you. But before I get into tips for your girlfriend, are you playing by the deep throat rules?

Okay. Just rules. That means no pressuring, no rushing the process, no thrusting and zero head pushing. We are in no head pushing zone here. It's actually themally. It's so fun. Ever.

Never push her even if you're just in the car like baby. Here's my penis. She knows you have a penis. She knows it. It's probably hard. Don't ever push your head into her lap. Okay. So she needs to feel relaxed.

She needs to feel in control. And that, you know, she also needs to be able to trust you that you're not going to hurt her. And keep in mind that she's putting herself through a mild discomfort to fulfill your desires. so make sure you're being kind and returning the favor. AKA going down in her as well. So now we got that out of the way. Here's what she could do to deep throw. Relax. So the most important thing is your muscles, anytime you're trying any like anal sex, people tend to like

tense their muscles, right? But it's all about breathing and relaxing so when you're doing this She has to relax her throat muscles like they tense up Because if she's starting to perform oral so what really can relax her is first thing like make sure that she has her So if you knock off a few orgasms and she's like already in the mood and relaxed your golden Should be like oh my god. I said three orgasms or one, it's fine. And she also should be loose too. So tell her not to worry about like her lips, everything she will do. So she should like lay back, she should be breathing. And she shouldn't worry that her lips are like super tight around his penis while she's going down. And she could kind

of like let her lips fall open so she can open up her throat more. So like you practice, like it's not like you're squeezing it, like I'm trying to show my minutes here with my mouth, like you're structuring it, like you're about to open, you're just trying to get it to the back. And if she's worried about getting drool, little extra lubrication never hurt, and it might help her,

leave up her throat. So just make sure she's breathing in a comfortable position. And also there's a position that makes her feel comfortable, okay? This isn't necessarily for you. So, depending on your length and your girth, deep-thirty and works at different angles, okay? Now we're getting technical here. She can experiment with different positions

and see which ones are a little bit easier. So someone would kneeling over the partner, like on the bed, because they can go out of their own pace. And some women even lay back, let's check this. They're head back on the bed, they're lying back on the bed,

and their neck is going off the bed, right? So he could, look, he was trying to show you, so he could be standing behind it, but her neck's way much more open up, which is kind of weird, because she's like off the bed, but that's where your neck's going to open up. But you didn't know that.

So also, it's just practicing. There are, so while she's doing that, she wants to breathe, she can get in comfortable position so she's in control. Like if she's like crouched on her knees, you know, like women get bloated up and they're like, eh, your tense. Yeah.

So she just has to make sure she's in position when her throat's open, but the thing is she can also train your gag reflex to open up. Like you can practice So what you do is you place a finger in your mouth Or you can use toothbrush So you know when you get to the back your throat and like whenever you start to gag You're probably not you probably don't need to this minute

But if you do want to it's like right to the point where you get you're like And then you hold your finger there for as long as you can like 10 seconds and you do that like Five times a day and then eventually you'll be able to move Further and further back either toothbrush or your finger. Yeah, and it'll open up your gag reflex But you've got to practice and when you're doing this you breathe through your nose Relax your throat and you resist the urge to gag You can try it with a dildo you can it with this penis. He'd probably like helping you. And just don't push yourself quickly. And it takes time. And here's the thing, if it doesn't work, so what? Use your hands. It's fine. She can't do it, but that's

all she can do it. So you guys can listen to this show together. But also, again, your hands are your best friend during a blood job. So her hands can provide the suction and it's a great way to do it. Deep thought. Was that more than you ever want to know about deep thoughts? Or that more than you ever could have possibly imagined? I like the technique to learn how to do it. Slowly, you know, work into it. Second other thing, do your caggles, do your gag reflex exercises, meditate, masturbate.

That's like my entire life. It's like meditation, masturbation, gag reef gag, exercises, gag reflex, and cooking blue apron. Sweet. It's a really good time. Okay, hi, Emily. I recently discovered your show and you've changed my sex world. I have so much more libido and self-confidence than before. Your show is totally honest, realistic, and kind, and I feel like you're my friend. Nice. I do have a question though. My partner and I feel like you're my friend. Nice. I do have a question, though. My partner and I have been monogamous for a year. We both got tested when we started dating. We were both negative and have been having

sex with that condoms. I even knew you'd be for birth control. However, I can't stop the nagging thought that maybe the test might not be accurate. I heard especially for herpes this can happen. We've had lots, we've both had lots of partners before and I would feel more comfortable if we went back to using condoms, but he thinks this is a strange request since we've been tested and have already have condom as sex. So we should have already transmit anything we have. All right, so he thinks that I can what's water in the bridge. He is willing to do it and we've only been having condom sex recently, but I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable

What are your thoughts? Thanks so much Ella 26 Washington DC Listen to the podcast app on her iPhone bam nice Forkin nailed that what we love Ella Ella Ella okay, I love that Ella is being conscientious about her health. Amazing. Because I understand her concerns, like at least like, we're talking about you, we'll never think about using condoms.

She's in a committed relationship, they've been tested. They've been having sex without a condom for awhile, but she's still like, you know, worrying about it. So I understand that. And she's right on her piece. You can only test herpes if there's an outbreak. Like they don't even do herpes test now, because you can't tell if you're carrying it in last there's an outbreak. Wow don't even do herpes test now because you can't tell if you're carrying it

unless there's an outbreak. Wow. So if one person is a carrier, you won't know until you're already infected. So you've done everything you can do there. And I kind of, I gotta say I grew with your boyfriend, you're on the IUD, and you guys are truly monogamous, you're not gonna get pregnant,

and you really don't have to go back to using condoms. So I just think what you guys gotta do is go back and get tested in six months, like every six months, put in your calendar, you know, you'll feel more confident. You guys can go together, you can order it online and do it. But and then I think that you can put the condoms to rest for now. Tell me what IUD is. IUD is the is a method of birth control that you put in your arm and you can have for

do it. Yeah, it's like for years For years, yeah, like in last for years and a lot of women have that and they don't have to like take a pill every day. Just side effects and, but just like any other, other forms of control. Yeah, but she was saying she's on IUD but you could be on a, what she meant is you could also be on the birth control pill.

There's a lot of different ways now. Birth controls are so much better and I like when I, well, I haven't been on it in a while but they don't tell, and here's the other thing I wanna say. And I like when I haven't been on it in a while, but they don't tell you to ignore it. And here's the other thing I want to say. And I might have said this every since you know, but I can't say it enough that when you go on the birth control pill, a lot of women, you know, in high school or whenever you go in college, the doctor just gives you a pill and you assume, okay, I got to take this

pill for the rest of my life. This is it. But what they don't tell you is that sometimes the side effects can be really bad and you don't know that that's what it's coming from and you don't realize that you can actually switch pills. You can get higher estrogen, lower estrogen, you can play with it because birth control pills affect everyone system differently. And so women sometimes can have loss of libido, inability to orgasm, headaches, things like that. And that you, so you know, just go to your gynecologist every six months and again, it's okay to ask for one because you could sometimes you just got to try a view

to find one. Don't have boobs to get bigger. Yes, do you remember this? Do you remember when I went on the pill? No, but you told me about it. Dude, I knew you then. It was 2009 and I went back on the pill and I had like a size and a half bigger. And my boyfriend at the time, he was like, oh my God, it was like all of a sudden,

I had like, not that I have small boobs, but they were like big and hard. It was like I got a boob job. People like, my friends thought I got a boob job. It was the best birth control experience ever. Sweet. And I like lost weight and I had a big, had a big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big,

I looked like a porn star. Maybe I should, I wonder if we're to have that happen the same way. I just don't like taking something like that. And I use condoms because I want to be safe. Anyway, why should I? Yeah. But I had an ass of boobs.

Yes, of course. I did for years. But if you miss a day, you realize it. It sounded as effective. Like your pale that month. So you should double up on condoms anyway. That's the problem is that a lot of people are not. It's great.

Put up my mind on your phone. Well, I mean, you have a staff of people here. Oh, I was saying, no, I'm saying that me. I'm saying people. Madison will help you out. Madison, would you feed me my pill every day? No, I'm not taking it. I'm saying, a lot of people don't remember,

and that's why you should send a lot. Have you ever like gone out with someone and she went on the pill and things happened or she seemed different or? No, not at all. No. OK. Why?

You think it makes you lose it? Sometimes it's hard to tell. We're emotional beings. Okay. Hello M. My name is Marcellus. I'm a long time subscriber slash listener to your amazing show since 2013. Nice. I'm a 26 year old male from South Carolina.

I usually listen to your show. Well, I'm the road. I'm a truck driver. Now to the matter at hand. Me and my girlfriend have recently hit a rough patch, and because of this, she wants to cut out sex to focus more on the friendship and relationship aspect. I was fine with that then, but now it's becoming a problem. I find myself more tense and small things she does get me upset.

I'm not saying sex keeps me happy, but it has kept me stress-free in some aspects. It's now been almost four months of no sex and I'm tired of masturbating. Here's another issue. During these months, I found myself being less and less sexually attracted to her, and now I'm gonna point where I kinda don't want sex from her at all.

I really wanna tell her, I really wanna tell her this and work on it, but I don't know how, please help. PS, I know it's no longer Master Basement, but I would love to hear your Master Basement routine. Marcellus. I guess I haven't really, we'll get back to that Marcellus. You've got a lot of questions here. We don't have time.

Hey, this show is not about me. Oh, yeah, it is. It's a sex-only show. Okay, if I will tell you at the end of really good masturbation story, but let's answer that's help him first. Okay. Okay, so here's a deal. A lot of times I do tell couples you've heard me say this, but if you're having an issue in your relationship, takes, let's say you're having a sex issue in particular. I always say take sex off the table, table, like you're not going to have an occurs for a month and you're going to reconnect intimately, so you're still going to like do foreplaying, kiss, and touch, and cartel massage.

But you know, you're just like, don't have intercourse. However, you should never, ever take sex completely off the table because she's using it as a bargaining chip. And this is what women and men should never do. Because once you take away the sex, it's completely backfires. As it is for him because without sex at all, she's turning their relationship back into a friendship. Do you see what she's doing? Yeah.

You know, mission accomplished. So that's why he's feeling less attractive because she's like, oh, no, end in sight. I want to work on our friendship. I want to work on our relationship. So I'm just not gonna have sex with you. Yeah, that's really good. And he's like, I'm masturbating.

My penis is chafing. Like, I don't know what to do. You cannot move through any issues in relationship by just like abstaining from something or just taking or using something as a, you know, sex is like a weapon. Something else is going on. Exactly.

So, it's a rough patch. And it's not gonna go away because she stops giving you blow drops. So that's not how it all goes down. So if you wanna work through it, I got it, you know, you got to go back to ASAP. And I'm not sure how you guys were communicating about this rough patch before. I am assuming there's a lot here. Obviously, I don't know, but it wasn't working. So let's say it's something big, right? Like let's say you cheated or something

bad happened and she's trying to punish you. So you might require some like professional help to work through it. A lot of times couples get to a place where they've been together so long and resentments build and typically when you stop having sex and you stop building that connection, it's because something else, there's a lot of things maybe have built up and you haven't talked about it and eventually you're not feeling sexual. So I think he is how I feel and the next time like they're relaxed at home, he's got to bring it up again and just say, you know, this isn't working for me. Like I miss you.

I miss like touching you, smelling you, being intimate with you. But like sex is crucial if he takes away the sex, they're like roommates. What do you think about when you heard that, what did you think? She's like, I don't know sex. It's something else going on.

Is there somebody, I hate this because I know everyone jumps through this conclusion I Mean on the guy side. They always go. Oh, he's he's hooking up with somebody else But on the women's side 90% of the time something else is in the picture and I don't know what you know And I don't want to use Her of doing that. I mean if she is And I don't want to use her of doing that. I mean, if she is focusing on the relationship every time you're together in the friendship,

make sure that vibe is going on. If that vibe is not going on, something else is going on. Yeah, you mean like she could be have some interesting stuff to happen to us. We don't know. But somebody's like trying to get her attention, you know? Yeah, something's going on and I don't know what it is,

but you just gotta say to her when you're home, say, listen, it's really not working for me, you know, using sex as this like bargaining chip. It's not helping us. I miss you. I miss being intimate and there's an happy medium between the sex and the friendship aspects, but this isn't working.

So it's okay for you to be feeling the way you're feeling. Yeah. Okay, that's all we got time for, but do you want me to tell you a masturbation story real quick? Yes, please. It's not, it's not necessarily about my own master. Well, it is. So my friend, I was talking around the phone and she was saying that she went to this,

her doctor, but it's like one of these holistic, like San Francisco friends, healer, hippie, hippie doctor. But he's like, he's got an adjustment, like an energy healer, adjuster, like kind of like, you know, have you heard of, um, like, raky massage and stuff, these energy, what apps in Northern California? But he said to her and she's been going for 20 years, like, she's helped him, her back and fixed stuff and he says to her, like, 10 years ago when she first went and he was like, um, I think she was going for 20, but 10 years, he was like, you know what?

I have two pieces of advice for you. She's like, what? He's like, have two orgasms a day. And she's like, really? Like, I can't even make noise at least. Like, because, and I've said this before, but I thought it was an interesting way of putting it that it really impacts your physiology. Like having an orgasm and having that release is going to impact your mood, which is also

going to release stress and have your relax and have your body. So like, orgasms are important. Like you should be prioritizing your orgasms and I know you're thinking in a time, but it's like, you feel so much better when you have, I feel like sometimes too, even though it's my job, I'm like, I have a masturbator and then I will and I'm like, oh, I'm a new person.

So that's my story. I'm happy. My job, whenever I'm not, I'm like, your job is to massacre. It's great. I'm not happy as I see them all the time. I think you're sitting in a house full of vibrators. Your whole life is about like helping people.

I have better sex and relationships. And I love what I do. And this is where I know. And I'm like, I should just plow out a little vibrator here and have a good day. And then everything's better. Do it. I do it all the time. Alright.

That's how I was late today. I was really late. Okay, minus that's how we got time for Thank you for being here talking to you as always and thank you to all the listeners that download the podcast constantly I mean it guys. Thank you so much We've been just doing people are listening and they're Hitting us up and they're like Loving us sending emails and we reach out on social media. Yeah tweet us tweet us Facebook as Snapchat

And also send us your questions. We love hearing from you feedback at sexbelemmy.com and we love when you review us and I do this. Cool. But no pressure. Okay, when thanks for listening, was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexbelemmy.com So what's in a name?

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