Sex With Emily - Eat & Get Naked with Fernando Restrepo

Episode Date: December 28, 2019

On today’s show, Dr. Emily is joined by founder of EatNakedLA Fernando Restrepo to talk about how to be healthier in your regular life for a healthier sex life. Plus, she’s answering your sex & relationship questions. They discuss how having a healthier diet can actually help your bedroom performance, as well as which foods can make your appetite for sex even higher. Plus, advice on how to give directions in bed that also sound sexy and what to do when you have some qualms about your new partner’s kinks. Follow Emily on all social @sexwithemilyFor more info on EatNakedLA, follow @eatnakedlaFor even more sex advice, tips & tricks, visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I have one story in particular when it comes to couples. It's kind of one of those things where it's obviously very important in all aspects to be in sync with your partner, right? When it comes to food and eating healthy, there are some situations that are probably more drastic than others. I have a client that lost over 100 pounds in one year. It's so amazing. She's such an amazing. With the naked Ellen. With the naked Ellen. Yeah, every single week she would pick up her meals

and she would actually pick up food for her husband. So they would both make that transition into eating healthy. And then over time I saw that she was just ordering for her and I didn't really put two and two together, but you know when I last saw her She you know I asked her hey, well how the meal is going obviously it's working wonders She looked like a brand new person and

But she wasn't ordering for her husband anymore and they she mentioned that they kind of divorced Because of that Obviously the other little things, but that's a huge change. Because she's making the changes and he just couldn't stick with that. Correct. Yeah. And that's a difficult thing, just because when you're making a commitment to eating healthy and changing your life, you know, as you mentioned, the food that you put in your body will make you feel either good or bad depending on what you're eating. And with her, not only did her physique change, but her attitude, her mentality, her confidence.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily, and on today's show, I'm joined by Fernando Restrepo, founder of EatNakedLate to talk about how to be healthier in your regular life to make for a healthier sex life. Plus I'm answering your sex and relationship questions. Topics include how having a healthier diet can actually help your bedroom performance and we've got science to back it up. Which foods can make your appetite for sex even higher? How to give directions in bed but make it sexy?

And what to do when you have some qualms on a new partner's kinks? All the similar things for listening? Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our secret institutions. Betrubized they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken,

he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Lollip? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. I'm so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Oh my God, I'm off here. I'm so proud. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between.

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We appreciate it. Okay, guys, enjoy the show. Okay, when I come out of my guest, Fernando Restrepo, forever, I'm always looking for healthy places to eat in Los Angeles. And when I heard about his company, I get meal delivery. I'm not talking post-wates. I'm talking about I don't have time to cook. And these are like my meals.

And this company, what he's doing, the mission behind it is incredible. He started out of his own kitchen. And now he serves more than 60,000 plates a month. They could do custom meal plans, based on your traditional needs, your fitness goals, food restrictions. He's really involved with a lot of important organizations

in LA, and truly he believes as do I. What you eat has a lot to do with your sex life. So we're going to be talking about sex and food today. So welcome Fernando Restrepo to the show from EatNakedLA. I'm so happy to stay with you today because I've been eating your meals. Yes, Emily, thank you for having me. Yeah, and I enjoy them. Tell me about EatNakedLA. How did that all happen? How did you get to be this

Person that you are so you're front of me fit healthy making delicious food for 60,000 people. Yeah well I started the business in 2014 so about five years ago and It was just an idea. I started out of my studio apartment kitchen. I've always prepped for myself just because I felt like time was the biggest commodity. I had friends that were very interested in it. So I started cooking for them.

And coincidentally, I had some friends that were trainers. So I was cooking for them. And then they would refer clients. And, you know, sooner than later you know two people turn in a four to five to ten and it just grew into this thing where I thought I could make a business out of it. So I had a buddy in North Hollywood that actually owned a bakery and it was really, really slow time for him. So I had an idea of running out his facility on his downtime for me to scale. In about six months, I transitioned from my studio apartment

to the bakery, and then in about another six months, I actually just took over the entire place. That's amazing. Yeah, it's a 2000 square foot facility in North Hollywood. We do fully customized meal plans based on nutritional needs, fitness goals, really whatever you want. How did you get involved with nutrition and fitness?

How did it all start? Well, you know, I was, prior to this business, I've been an entrepreneur in my entire life. Okay. And I was in real estate back in 2007, 2008 when the economy just took a big crash. So I had to really figure out what my next move was going to be. I ended up taking a job, which I did not really enjoy. However, that job really taught me about how businesses internally work with finance and payroll and HR and all these things.

At the same time, I'm a part of a group called the masterminds group. Oh. It's a group of buddies. We're all entrepreneurs or we want to be entrepreneurs. And they really helped me at that time identify what my passions were and take those passions into possibly creating a business. And that's kind of where E. Nick L. A. was born. Yeah. So I pursued that it grew very very quickly and Wow, how will you work for you now? I have about 20 employees. Wow, that is so impressive and it's so true like we could go off on the whole mastermind thing because I think that's such a such a lot of people have that support right now through different groups and they help you with like lists and attend all the things that you've had to grow. So that's really impressive.

Yeah, really in five years have this kind of growth. Yeah, even though there's so much more information right now about how to be healthy and how to eat. So that's really impressive. Really in five years to have this kind of growth. Yeah. Even though there's so much more information right now about how to be healthy and how to eat healthy, that there's a lot out there. Like we're sitting here with your beautiful juices and we love your immunity shots. I take every morning because I get these delivered to my house. And for me, like I don't have time to cook.

Like I didn't grow up cooking. No one ever taught me how. I would end up getting hangry in the middle of the day and like I'm like, I need a meal service. Because you know, I, so what have you found like, why might someone need it? Because I know there's a lot of people who do it to lose weight or they do it. Because otherwise we're just grabbing shit because we're hungry. And it's, yeah.

So why might someone need a meal service? There's so many different reasons. I mean, I think with traditional meal prepping services, from what I've seen, a lot of own focus on the fitness space, trainers, bodybuilders, things like that. That's not really how we started. Early on, I met some people that were working in health and wellness centers, doctors and hospitals.

So we actually were helping patients with specific meal plans to help with whatever they were dealing with. Some illnesses like cholesterol, high cholesterol, Crooms disease, we had some cancer patients. So our business was very, very specific with being customizable. And I wanted to keep that because I felt like most people from my experience wanted the freedom to choose, picking shoes, what they want. Whereas most services kind of just have on-trades on rotation. So I started off with that space. And then naturally again with healthy

foods, it transitioned into the fitness space with athletes and things like that. As we were gaining traction, I started to realize there's so many different kinds of people that need the service. Not necessarily just to eat healthy, but like I said, time is the biggest commodity and the convenience. We really sell convenience. Single moms, business owners, students,

you know, there's probably not one person on this planet that does not need a service like this. Exactly. I mean, I agree, or we're spending money on postmates, or all the other things that are, it's not as healthy. These are portions that you can specifically, you know, tailor towards your needs. And so what you're saying is a lot of it can cure people.

Also, like the way we eat, like I do believe that food is medicine. Yes, I do too. How do people know right now with all the hyperonketo, or paleo, or vegan, which they know main options that you offer? I even get confused like how what's the first step if people are like they haven't well because I also know like let's bring it to sex for a minute I believe that like what if we are healthy?

I think it everything does start with what we're putting in our bodies and so if we are not healthy or not eating well We're not exercising then we're there It could probably show up in the bedroom How do we know where to start first of all like is keto better for some people and not others? It's because all these bad diets. Yeah, yeah So you know, I understand it. It's a There's a there's a lot of information out there and you know, I think for us really our information out there. And I think for us, really our job is to just provide you

with healthy foods, healthy, clean, organic foods. They're all organic and so important. Yeah, so I would say about 90% of our menu is organic. Moving into 2020, I'm proud to say that everything will be organic on our menu. So impressive and not easy to do. And not at all, not at all. And keep the prices raised at all.

Yeah, and that's another point is I wanted to provide a service that has a very competitive price point where everybody can afford it. Like I said, I mean, we have, you know, CEO's business owners of more $10 million companies all the way down to, you know, students in college, right? But to your question, it depends on the person. I can't sit here and say that, keto is better for everybody,

or being vegan is better for everybody. It just really depends on the person, and our job is to provide many options, really to find, you have to find out what works best for you. Right, okay, that makes sense. So what about couples, like, let's first of all talk about this. Let's talk about like our sex drive.

Have you noticed that people you've worked with, do you think what we eat, like how does that impact our sex drive? Do you have anything to know that? Do you think about our health, our overall health? Yeah, I think food is everything. Like you said, food is medicine. I think it's common sense.

It's if what you put in your body will determine how you feel. It's like people use the analogy of, if you have a Ferrari, would you put regular gas? No, you want to put premium fuel in your body for you to perform at the highest level, whether that's being an athlete, whether that's in the bedroom, you know, whatever maybe I think it's all connected. I actually read this article the other day and it said if it's good for your heart, it is good for the heart, it is good for a person's sex

life. So I truly believe that. I believe it's true too. Like a poor diet can lead to erectile dysfunction. You know, also if you feel sluggish, you feel tired, you smoke, you drink too many of the wrong fats. The last thing you're going to do is have sex. You're going to want to feel good about your body. And then there's, I've also been looking stuff here,

like a good diet can help boost your libido to show your body's working well. There's a lot of, there's a lot of foods that are proven to help boost your libido. Like what? Well, so there's a lot of foods. I have some here too. Yeah, there's a lot of foods that we provide,

but just kind of the, I would say like the top 10 that I've seen a lot of seafood like crab lobster oysters I think was like the number one thing red meat believe it or not obviously in moderation, but for myself personally I have Red meat maybe twice a week. Yeah, that seems about right. Yeah Avocado is a big one nuts Nuts is a really good one. That's probably my number one go to for any snacks, you know, in between meals. And I'm sure people would appreciate this one. Dark chocolate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Again, in moderation. Everything's in moderation, unfortunately, right? I can't just chocolate. I can't just eat a lot of dark chocolate, and then I'm going to want to have sex all the time. And then Maka, I've heard, right?

Which I didn't really root vegetable. Used to enhance fertility and sex drive, all those things. In terms of the erectile dysfunction, there was, I was reading that fruit, like all kinds of fruit. They did some studies, they linked a higher fruit intake will decrease erectile dysfunction by 15 to 20%. Wow. So berries are really good.

A lot of citrus, grapes, apples. I also saw red wine on the list. Like a glass. That makes sense. Capacol, that's right. Right. So yeah, I mean, a food is so important. How do we get people to get interested in this?

Like, it seems like there's people who go along in their lives, maybe they're overweight, or they're just, they've been unhealthy, and all of a sudden something switches, and then they realize, oh, actually, eating healthy food isn't as hard as I think, and I do feel better. Is there like, have you noticed the change in people, like how they've changed by eating,

because you work so closely with people, especially being in startup mode, you know, when you were, when you started, how it's changed their life to start eating healthy, like couples or individuals. I mean, that's probably the most rewarding part of my job, is to see the transition in people that that feel different, look different, they feel great about themselves.

You know, there's so many stories. I have one story in particular, but you know, when it comes to couples, it's kind of one of those things where it's obviously very important in all aspects to be in sync with your partner, right? When it comes to food and eating healthy, there are some situations that are probably more drastic than others. I have a client that lost over 100 pounds in one year. It's so amazing. She's such an amazing client.

With the naked ela. Yeah, she she Every single week she would pick up her meals and she would actually pick up food for her husband So they would both you know make that transition into eating healthy and then over time I saw that she was just ordering for her and I didn't really put two and two together, but when I last saw her, she, I asked her, hey, how the meal's going, obviously it's working wonders. She looked like a brand new person, but she wasn't ordering for her husband anymore, and she mentioned that they kind of divorced

because of that. Obviously, the other little things, but that's a huge change. Because she's making the changes, and he just couldn't stick with that. Correct, yeah. And that's a difficult thing, just because when you're making a commitment to eating healthy and changing your life, you know, as you mentioned, the food that you put in your body will make you feel either good or bad, depending on what you're eating.

And with her, not only did her physique change, but her attitude, her mentality, her confidence, right? So if you're not in sync with that, with your partner, that can be difficult. It can be hard if you're a partner. Yeah, I've dated people who are like, it's only like junk food, or they're like, they just want to eat a bunch of stuff that I don't want to eat.

And it doesn't work. Like if you're eating with someone, living with someone, you're like, we don't agree on this. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard. And he just wouldn't come around. He just didn't link up for him. Well, I would say good for her.

You know, I mean, she made a commitment and she stuck by it. And I'm so proud of her efforts. And she's, she seemed more happy than ever. Yeah. So what about changing people's behaviors? How have you noticed like, in working with people, what is some of the key things to get people to, like where do you see people come to?

What points in their life, where they come to where they're like, I'm just ready, like this is certain things happen where they're ready to make the change. I'm always thinking about like, what are the habits? What do the things people can do? Like, Well, I would say, you know, being in LA, it's such an entertainment industry driven city.

We do have a lot of clients that are actors, actresses, they need to lose weight for a role, they need to gain weight for a role. We have a lot of professional athletes, whether it's NFL, MLB, MBA, obviously, they have to fuel themselves properly to be able to perform at the highest level. But we also, again, working in the space with health and wellness centers and hospitals, unfortunately, what happens is people decide to make that transition after a scare, right? There, maybe someone in their family passed away from a disease that happens quite often in our industry.

And, or they personally might have had a scare. Or they have some kind of illness that now needs to be controlled with a specific meal plan. So yeah, I mean, there's so many different situations. Yeah, no, it's true. Because I always think it is. We wait some time until things get really, really bad until we make that decision.

But I just think that healthy food is so, I mean, if I eat a lot of sugar, a lot of food, I don't feel like myself. But I've been this way for so long. So I'm just trying to think I'd get people to realize that I can help you all with your issues you have around a lot of different things. But if you don't have a healthy lifestyle at the end of the day,

you're not treating yourself well, you're body well. It's not gonna be, you know, it's not gonna be appealing to others either, like you're going to be, you know, it's not going to be appealing to others either. Like you're not going to be as open or attractive. You're not feeling, you know, an attractive mate to others if you are not taking steps to, essentially, it's like self love in a way. If you're just putting a bunch of crap in your body and wondering why your penis doesn't work.

You know, we don't want to get it to that point. I mean, it's more, we're hoping to be a more like preventative, service, right? We don't want for people to wait to hit rock bottom with whatever it is they're dealing with to then reach out to a service like ours. I felt like when I started, eNicke Delay, there's so many components I wanted to incorporate

to cover so many different kinds of people. So, you know, being affordable is number one. It is, it's really, because I've looked at other plans and it's like totally makes sense. And then taste. I mean, I think meal. It tastes so good, the best eggs, the best kind of. Oh my God, so delicious. Yeah, meal prep being services

from current clients that I've used other services. I hear it all the time, like the food is bland, it doesn't taste good, it goes bad quickly. So it was very important for me to create a menu that tastes really, really good. And so when I started, all those recipes were actually foods that I was cooking at home.

So my concept was, I would never feed you something that I wouldn't eat personally. And then the menu kind of expanded upon that. And I have a full staff of chefs. I don't cook anymore, but I'm very close with the recipes when we do launch something new. And I'm very proud to say everything tastes good. It does.

Everything tastes amazing. It's like literally I don't even know. And the fact that it's organic and healthy and it still tastes good, breakfast, all the meat, and the fish, it's really, it's literally, I've tried other food services and it's delicious and I don't think about it and it's just, it's always great. So, and then, so it's funny,

because you said you wouldn't sell anything or you wouldn't promote anything that you didn't actually, like that's actually about sex toys. People are like, do you really like this toy? I'm like, I'm not gonna tell you guys to try toy. If I weed and like it in the only thing, you would promote anything that you didn't actually like, that's how you feel about sex toys. You were like, do you really like this toy? I'm like, I'm not gonna tell you guys to try toy. If I weed and like it in the office, I would do that, right? Because it's such a home girl,

I started my show in my living room, in my small apartment in San Francisco. That's the way it should be. I know, right? There's so many people promoting things that they've never used, and I just, I truly believe in, if you're gonna promote something

that you personally use at yourself or that it's benefiting you. Absolutely. And you can tell you know that you put your heart in this. Like it's really your business and that you want people to thrive and to do well by eating the foods. And it can be hard now,

because if you go into a store and I've tried, like, yeah, organic, we all know is better for us now. It really is. There's been studies for women in preventative care for women's health, for breast cancer, all these for hormones, for women going through parimenopause, menopause, that you actually, I remember when I read that a few years ago,

I was like, oh God, I really do have to shell out the money. I do have to eat organic, but I do feel so much better. You know that, so all that stuff is important right now. With all the research we have and all the information we have that it just makes sense. And to make sure it's easier. And to me, also, these foods, like, I don't have to worry about it because I know it's going to be good. I know I have a meal, breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

That's going to... And I mean, even reason why I'm here to talk about these kind of foods is it just comes full circle. It's um you eat well uh you eat consistently you know you'll have the energy you'll have the stamina you'll have the sex drive right it was funny when I was putting together this list with my girlfriend we were you know I told her hey I need to I need to look up foods that boost your sex drive or boost your libido. And we're going down the list and it just made so much sense because I'm having all these foods every single day.

And she's like, okay, I get it now, I get it, right? And we're two very fit, active, healthy people. And it was just funny. That's right. You're doing it right without even trying, because I think that we naturally do get drawn towards those things, that are good for us. So you guys are having a good sex and eating well and healthy couples.

That's the only way to do it. Good example for others. Fernando, thank you for being here for sharing your food, sharing your stories, and your inspiration. I have the five questions to ask you that we ask a quickie questions. Okay. They're not. Okay.

They're fun. Okay, what's your biggest turn on? Smile. Biggest turn off. Not listening. What makes good sex? Passion. Something you tell your younger self about sex and relationships.

Quality over quantity. Oh, that's good. Number one sex tip. Um, listen. Yeah, pay attention. I like it. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you. Alright guys, we're going to take a quick break and then we're going to get into your email questions. Oh, here we are.

I love answering people's questions. Okay, if you want me to do that and you want to question the answer on the show, go to sexwithmly.com, click the Ask Emily tab, fill out the short form or just email me, feedback at sexwithmly.com, whatever you do. Please include your name, your age, where you live, and how you listen to the show. Thanks guys. Want to read the email? Of course. Okay, this first one comes to us from Pat, who's 28 in London. She writes, Hi, Dr. Emily. My name is Pat, I'm 28 and I'm from London. I always listen to your podcasts.

I've learned so much about relationships and sexuality. So I've been talking to this guy I met online. He's absolutely lovely and sounds like a dream guy. We haven't met yet, but yesterday he told me he's into DDLG, and I'm not sure how I feel about that daddy-dum little girl, yeah. Daddy-dum little girl. Mm-hmm, just in case. Yes, of course. Most people wouldn't know what that is. Um, I'm not sure how to feel about it to be honest. I told him that I appreciate his honesty, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to fully participate in his kink. He said it's fine and he doesn't expect me to do anything I'm not comfortable with. He still wants to get to know me and meet up. Is it something he would be able to live without,

or do you think I should move on if I'm not ready to fulfill his needs? Many thanks. Such a great question here, Pat, because here's the deal. It might not be your thing, daddy done little girl, which is a fantasy that a lot of men have to do this dumb, sub thing where you're little girl. You really would be living as a little girl just when you're having sex. He would be treating you as his daughter. It's actually, that's some great blogs on our website about it. What I want to know is, first off, he says he's cool if you're not into it.

That's good. That's good to know. So I guess if everything else about this guy was interesting, I always say you can go on one date. Why not? Find out more about it. Maybe it is interesting. Maybe it isn't.

But also, what are you into? Because if you don't know that answer yet, that's OK. Like everything that we talk about on the show, as you know, it's like a process of exploring and learning. And, huh, what does turn me on, sexually? So even just going out with him, like everything that we talk about on the show as you know, it's like a process of exploring and learning and hum, what does turn me on sexually? So even just going out with them ones and saying like, hmm, I wonder if I could get into this fantasy could be interesting. Have them tell you more about it.

Say, well, tell me how this fantasy goes down. I'd love to know more. But don't feel bad, don't force yourself into it if it's not your thing, it is not your thing. And also, I just urge everybody to figure out what your thing is. 2020. I agree. What's your jam? Listen to our podcast with Celeste Danielle. Their book is called Coming Together.

Oh, so good. It's a really good podcast, and it really explains how a lot of us, like, don't feel bad that you don't know, because I had to learn what was I was into. I had to focus on fantasy and pleasure and study. So I was like, because I wasn't one of the people who naturally had fantasies or who even knew. So you're not alone.

If I can get there, you can get there. Just do your work. Do your research. It helps you have better, more pleasurable sex. So the next time someone says, what are you into, you can answer. And then that way we have a second wave of the roaring 20s in your sex life. That's what I'm excited for the 20s. For the 20s?

For the 20s? How wait? Oh, I don't know, roaring. I thought you meant we're going back to flapper dresses. I didn't understand, but you meant. I just meant like for your sex life dose. So like you're in the 20s. Yeah, we're getting into it.

Yes. Like instead of like, you know, however, and was like, oh, we're embracing it now. In the 20s, Yeah, we're getting into it. Yes. Instead of, however, and was like, oh, we're embracing it now. In the 20s, the flappers came out, and they're all sexy and hot. And now, I think we should make a second wave of that. But what you wear.

Ooh, good question. Maybe some chrome. Chrome leather. Chrome brass accents. Feathers. The crave necklace. Whatever you're into, the crave necklace. All right guys, we love it.

I wear it every single day. Like I literally, I had to go back in my house today because I wasn't wearing it. I just feel like it's my outfit. Your naked without it. Naked without it. Speaking of naked. So this next one comes to us from Sabrina,

who's 45 in New Jersey. Hello, Dr. Emily. I was born male, but I've recently decided to transition to female and change my name from Steve to Sabrina. I came out to my friends, but I'm having a hard time coming out to my family. Any tips? Oh, right. Sabrina, I'm really glad that you've been able to, you know, come out to your friends. So congratulations. And it sounds like they're supporting you through that. And I know it's not an easy time. Really good for you.

It does get easier the more open we are with those that we love. So I get it, you know, about your family, you know your family best. And so we all know like how to talk to our families, how to treat them. Maybe, you know, in the past, if you've ever had, you know, do they like to have conversations with no one else around? Do they want to do it after, you know, in the evening, are they better when you're walking? Like, so just figure out all of those things. But I also think there are a few things to keep in mind. You know, I always think when I want to have a conversation with someone, it's important for me, like an important one, like, I write it down.

I actually practice and I think about what are the points that I really want to get across? So prepare. So when you do prepare, you can think about like, you know, when you're saying it to them, understand that maybe they had no idea, it's going to be a shock to them. And so you could just say, let them know that pervorn them or prepare and say, I have something to talk to you about. So you could say, you know what, when you can help tonight, I'd love to chat.

Or let's chat this morning, whatever it is, let's have coffee. I'd love to share something with you or wherever you find uncomfortable. And then it's okay to say, you might be surprised or this might come as a shock to you. And I'm not even sure if you're going to like this, but here's some information for you. If they are difficult or they're they reoxy, can you let me finish, can you let me talk? Please don't freak out. All the things that you can say. And then tell it to say, you know what, I have transitioned. I, you know, I know you, I am gay, I'm bisexual, transgender, queer. I'm attracted to men, women, whatever it is, explain all of it to them because we can't assume they even know what it means.

And then you want to explain like this is who you're dating and this is who you're going to be into. And then you want to speak from your heart like this matters to me. You're my family. I want to have a great relationship with you. I love you. My family is so important.

It's been difficult hiding from other people who I truly am. I've been afraid. I didn't want to lie to go on, I want us to love each other. And then you can have an exit plan and say, you know what, I am, I know you might need to have to process this, to think about this, I'm here for you. Let me know when you want to talk.

So I think having all of these steps would be really important to kind of figure out. And then what if they had like a friend for like a support system just in case, maybe a friend that took it really well? Absolutely. I think a friend or if you're a sibling already knows, I think that that's great.

It's always good to have support for these things. And then like if they do not react in the best way, at least you also have a friend that can get you out of there too. Exactly. And if you have your points, like sometimes I'll be having conversations and I'll have to write down like, I know that they're going to resist to this. So, you know, I make sure I made all my points.

Like, I have meetings, I literally have it on my notes on my phone, like boom, boom, boom. So you're going to have an out. Exactly. And then your friend can help you. So, and I'm telling you guys, role-playing isn't just great for the bedroom. It's actually great for real life, difficult conversations. I sometimes I'll, you know, practice with a friend or I'll even like leave therapy. I have a tough business conversation and that's sometimes a business coach. Whenever I write it down, I just go so much better

when you know where it's going to go. Yeah, I do that in a lot in life. I do that if I go into the doctor to remember what questions I need to ask. Great advice. And then I also replay, I practice conversations in the shower. Yeah, the shower's great because you just can't be on your phone.

Exactly, so I'm like, okay, I'm gonna like practice how this is gonna go. And especially like you're so right when you're like you know your family best, so you'll know probably how they might react and you'll have counters. Exactly, like walk it through. If you're sibling or someone else knows your family best so you'll know probably how they might react and you'll have counters. Exactly. Like walk it through. If you're sibling or someone else knows your family, have them play devil's advocate.

You know, do a role play where they're like, well, you never told us. You know, we did everything for you. Okay. Great. Let's go into, yeah. Okay. And this last one comes to us from Jonathan, who is 37 in West Virginia. Hi, Dr. Emily.

I wanted to thank you for such an entertaining and informative show. Thanks for the show. I've been exposed to the wonderful world of lube and all of its benefits. Not only is it great for my wife in penetration, but she's used some on me as she fingers my ass and writes me Cal Girl.

Oh my goodness. I love when people add that in, it's the best. Okay, so to my question, we generally guide each other to the destinations on our body, we want stimulated, but sometimes my wife or I will ask in the moment, what do you want me to do to you? Now, I could come up with dozens of things I'd love to do to my wife, but I just feel odd telling you're directly like, suck my balls or kiss my dick. What's a different way I could express something like that? Thanks for everything. Okay, I love this Jonathan.

Well, okay, this is just the next step in your learning from the show, from Sex with Family. I'm so glad that you understand, you know, you understand, Lou. Now, that's a great first step. I, it's funny, because this whole like, what do you want me to do? I think that's always an interesting thing

to know what to say. I, when I, before I learned how to communicate it's actually I remember people would be like, what do you want me to do to you? And I'd be like, everything you're doing is good. Because I was like, I don't know how to ask them and I didn't even know what I wanted. So I feel like if she's asking you that, she wants to know. So my recommendation though would be to have the conversation outside the bedroom next time you guys are, you know, you know when it's best to have conversations, maybe you've had a cocktail, you're out to dinner, you're going for a walk and you could just say, you

know what? Our sex lately has been so hot, you can give her some highlights and say, then when you ask me, like, do you know what I want to say when you ask me what I want you to do? I want to tell you that I think it's so hard if you suck my balls or suck my dick. But I don't know how you're going to react. And like legitimately say it like that. Because there's no charge to it. You're not in the moment.

And she'd be like, oh my, she might say, babe, tell me everything. Or she would be like, can you not say dick, say cock? Like she might have some feedback for you. And then you'll feel more comfortable. And then guess what? Then you're going to get your, your ball sucked. You're going to get your needs met. That's how it works you guys. It's not some big

secret. It's really just healthy communication. You get your needs met. You can say it, you know, and then you can practice it and then she says to you, yeah, I want that. Then in the shower like Jamie, you can be like, suck my dick. I'll work our guy would say it in a breathy way. Oh, guys, guess why guys wouldn't be as breathy but maybe it's suck my, whatever she's into. You could even say on your walk, do you want me to be like suck my dick or suck my dick, baby. Like what she in do, does she want to be dominated? Right.

I don't know, we don't know. This is so fun. Also you guys, this is a report on an audio orodica coming handy, take notes, and then if you heard something in a rhodica, you know, you could even do it with your partner and be like, was that hot to you? Was that not hot to you? An audio or rottica like tryquin.com, qiu, tryqiuin.com or dipsy are two really great apps that literally if you're someone who you're not really into the visual porn, this is a

audio porn. So check that out and listen to that when you're going for a while. Like, that's kind of hot the way they said that. You guys were not supposed to be graded all these things. We're not supposed to be experts. We didn't come out of the womb saying, Mommy, mommy, give me your boob, give me a tick or whatever, like, we didn't have our sexy ones. We did not. There's no,

there's no class. No, they're on. But you know what I'm saying? We don't know, know we just I think we all walk around like it's so awkward Yes, you're right talking sexy being sexy ask about you on its awkward, but that's why I'm here to help so it no longer is Thanks everybody Happy holidays happy almost new year. Oh gosh 2020 I'm so I sort of keep saying 2020 it feels really good. It does. It's going to be a great year. Thank you Jamie for sitting by my side here for another year. I love you girl. If you like the show, thank you. Thank you for listening and supporting it. And thank you right now

you can do this. Just write us five stars. Where are you listening or just write us how you feel. You can go to iTunes, leave a review there. That really helps us. The Five Star helps us in iTunes from some reviews long ago, that 10 years ago, that still don't make us a Five Star show, even though we are. I feel we are. Any topics you want to hear about, email me,

feedback at sexwithaml.com. Sign up for our newsletter. It's awesome. People are always like, you make good newsletter. Like people who might not even listen to podcasts are like, I really like our newsletter. It's awesome people that are always like, you make good newsletter. Like people who might not even listen to podcasts are like, I really like your newsletter. So check that out. Happy holidays, everyone.

Happy new year. Love you, love doing the show. And I can't wait for the 15th year. Thanks to my awesome team, Ken, Kristen, Alisa, producer, Jamie, and Michael. Was it good for you? email me feedback at sexwithemily.com.