Sex With Emily - Episode 289 - Hand Jobs (1/2)

Episode Date: September 8, 2011

How does Emily loves Menace? Today she counts the ways and explains how to give the most amazing hand jobs on earth! Questions of the day include: Should you ‘thank your wank’? Does a Groupon deal belong on a date? We learn what lesbians want in bed, how to have sex with a virgin, and how to steer clear of indecent exposure. A bad date ends in handcuffs, a possible Miss Universe goes commando, and Cheaterville.com gets Jersey Shore's help. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I Look into his eyes They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that mark our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them in a bike on me. Hey, Emily You got a boyfriend because my man he here. He just got his heart broke and he thinks you're kind of cute The girls got a hair stand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way?

What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm on for some. Oh my god. Being bad feels pretty good.

You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play good. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information about sex with Emily, go to sexwithanley.com where you can see all the great stuff going on on our website. Why are you laughing? I heard for the first time ever that you said in everything in between. I giggled. I know why. Because I was thinking in between. In between. You know? Exactly. No, not. I'm talking about in between people's legs.

No, not. I'm talking about like in between people's legs. Oh, very, very between. Everything in between. Everything in between. Yeah, you've only heard it 500 times, but you're a true, it's seven months and while you get inspired by it. Yeah. Yeah, I love it.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening. So excited to be here today. If you have any questions, you want to call us. I really am excited today, by the way. I'll tell you why. Call us 415-9927-392 with any sex comments, questions, stories, issues, concerns. Whatever you want to talk about. Yeah.

Yeah. Call us. And if you donate a thousand dollars to the website at sexwithoutme.com, Emily will show her boobs on the webcam just throwing that out there. A thousand bucks? That's it. That could be true. A thousand bucks.

I mean, yeah, we didn't discuss this for a thousand bucks. Thousand bucks. Big deal. Thousand bucks. I think maybe how many bucks would I need to get to show my boobs? How long would I have to show them? I don't know, maybe a quick flash. Quick flash. But people can't screenshot that though. But then you could always be like to chick later on. Oh, that was Photoshop, you know? You can totally deny it. Yeah, okay, good to know.

Okay, 1,000 bucks, more than 1,000 bucks, 5,000 bucks. No, but just become a friend's with benefits member already. Because I know you love the show. And we appreciate everyone becoming a friend's with benefits member. Just go to the website, check out all the information there. And it's good.

Because then you get sex family every single day. Which is awesome. For real. Except for Wednesdays and I was sad. Yes, really. I missed you. And then we get sex family every single day. For real. For real. Except for Wednesdays and I was sad, yes, really. I missed you and then we had Monday off and then Wednesday and it's like, I was like missing you. We barely had time together. We haven't had any time together. I'm so used to my men's time.

But I'm going to set up your TVR for your videos. I know. Oh, remember, I don't know. People, email feedbackacexcellent.com if you have any ideas of shows that Emily should watch. That's a great idea. You just got cable. I just got cable and I was telling the cable guy, the cable guy, I was like, yeah, I mean a cable like in forever.

He's like, I said like in college I did and whatever and he's like, oh yeah, it was really different than he was like showing me. He's trying to show me like how to do the channels and all that stuff. Like, no, I understand that part. It's growing. You know, like he thought I was like his grant, like, no, I get that part. But yeah, you're going to have to move the channels and all that stuff. Like, no, I understand that part. It's scrolling. You know, like, he thought I was like his grant. I was like, no, I get that part. But yeah, you're gonna have to move the DVR. But any show as people all think I should watch,

which will enhance my, already, my, my, my, enhance my deficit, which is actually pretty, the bar is pretty low. Cause I don't have it watch television in a very long time. I did try to watch something on Bravo. Oh, that flipping out with the houses, have you ever seen it?

He's mixing, yeah. I don't really get into the house stuff. Yeah, I mean, we were, but I was kind of sucked in. I'm like, I'm gonna be sucked into everything. TV commercials, I'm gonna be like a kid in the candy store with all my hundreds of channels. I like all the rural housewives, I like millionaire mashmaker.

The only house show the ones about houses I like millionaire mashmaker. The only like house show, the ones about houses I like is the extreme makeover one home addition. Oh my God, it is so awesome. Because they help people who have like no home or who have no home, anything. And then they, they just come with a bulldover, a bulldozer knock over their house and then just build the

most insane house you've seen. Wow. That's amazing. I'm so excited. Okay, so we'll do this, and then you're going to help me pick which house. But yeah, email me, feedback at sexlambend.com. Email me anyway. Email me your issues, your questions.

We love reading your emails today. We're reading some of your emails, and they include topics include dating instructors, lesbian, sex, and virgin sex. Plus, our topic today is one of our favorite topics and I'm very excited to do a show on this because I think it's really, really important. And the topic is hand jobs. How to give an amazing hand job.

Because I think it's really important. Or should you give this information? I got the information from reputable sources. Who's your reputable source? It's universally Why are you trying to dodge because you know it's probably some woman that wrote a book that thinks that she we want to bring it back from the dead, but I'm just saying just so people know why you're going to have so many issues with this topic today. I think hand jobs are an amazing, everyone we've done shows on how to perform oral sex and a man or oral sex and a woman, but I think hand jobs are a lost art. I'd like women to know how to give their guys a good hand job.

And menace has never had a good hand job from someone besides himself. And so he doesn't really understand and can't relate to the topic. And my heart goes out too. I'm just shutting up right now until we get into it. Okay. Okay, so also we have a contest going. We've gotten lots of great responses on this one.

What would you give up for amazing sex? So you can email us, you can post on our Facebook page, which is sex with Emily or Twitter, sex Emily all around what would you give up what would you give up to have amazing sex in your life would you give up anything minus give up in my life like would you be like oh I could live without beer yeah I mean that's you people are just gonna pick oh diet code no people are being really like illustrative what didrative. Did you put anything there? Or what I would give up?

Yeah. I don't have to give anything up. Oh, what else did you mean? God, what would I give up? I haven't really thought about it. I guess I would give up chocolate. Chocolate? I like chocolate.

I'd give up chocolate if I could have a big guarantee to amazing sex. Yeah. What in your life do you need that you, but you'd like, I'd rather have good sex than that television? Um, a PC. I'll give up a PC. You don't care about PCs. I hate them, but I still have to use them. Yeah, but didn't, isn't there something that's right? Your PC at work is so slow. That was stressful. I was at his work on his computer and he was like, wow, God. Then, so that's our poll, so emails, I mean, that's our contest. Then also, we have a poll we talked about this other day, but I'm going to read it again.

Please go to our website and votesextathamily.com. What's the naughtiest piece of media you've ever created? A sexy text message, dirty voicem voicemails nude photos or a sex tape What have you done? What's the naughtiest one that you've done and for you? We know you've made sex tapes. I've done all but I think the dumbest one is the voicemail That's what I was like. Yeah, I was like who does voicemails, but some people do actually I asked the video the video could be dumb too, but you know I mine is going down in Davie Jones's locker I actually, I asked my interns to sit down and call them. The video could be dumb too, but, you know, I, mine is going down in David Jones' locker. There's no way that people are gonna see that kind of stuff.

What does something happen to you? And you like, what did something that you have? Like, okay. They burn my hard drives. No, really, like someone's gonna find them one day. When you die. When they die, they're not gonna go. Yeah, they are.

You should, my friend and I have, when I best friend, she's got like these journals that she's so terrified that someone's going to find who writes stuff down in a journal. We did. We used to. Like in college, we did, like, a lot of people do. Use notebooks, journals, whatever. And then I would write them all on my computer and print them out. So I have like so many journals from like teenage years, like 20s, whatever.

So we have like a plan that I'm gonna, if she dies, I'm gonna go get, I know exactly where they are in our house. I'm gonna get our journals. Yeah, girls, do you go back and read them? I go back and read them all the time. And I'm like, man, was that crazy. But I think, but then when maybe I think,

God, I'm sort of the same too. I haven't changed that much, but then there's you know the issues that you struggle with when you're 18 well, he called me you know that stuff. Oh, I don't struggle with those issues anymore. You never wrote no, you're dude No, I've had a diary like since I was like seven. Yeah, I have wrote down because No radio like topic emotions topics and stuff and then like a lot of stuff will be, the topic will come up because there would be something that I was going through in my relationship. And then so I'll go back to go look for topics to talk about.

And I'm like, oh, I'd both, that's because I was going through. I was such an idiot, you know. So, you were an idiot? Yeah. In relationships. Of course I was. I'm the hour, the hour. I'm not an idiot. I don In relationships. Of course I was. We all were.

I'm not an idiot. I don't know what I know now. You know. What was like, what's something that you came across that you were like, I really had that issue? The issue is, and I think everyone has gone through this and that our entire relationship history is not knowing when to let go. Ah, not knowing when to wake up.

And to end it. Or just to end it, or just say, you know what? You're broken up and get over it. And I think back when I was younger. You used to like pine for people. Yeah, and now it's just like, oh, it's done, it's done. So you've mourned for somebody? I can't imagine you like mourning you being sad.

Not for a very long time. It was like for like what before lunch? And then you had like a big Mac in the middle of it. No, yeah. No, no, I've had relationships. Like, you know, one of my first really long relationships. Right. Right. It was devastating. I'm sure. Yeah. And then now I'm just like, whatever.

It doesn't work out. Just move on. Just move on. Right. Exactly. There's so many more people to meet, you know, in the world. Specially like online. Like I feel like with the dating online and so that there's always there's less incentive for people to settle it's hard to find who want to just be monogamous because there's so many of the

you see my facebook update the other day i said but you're getting funnier i'm getting funny yeah you are i mean you're funny always yeah obviously but you're getting funnier lately like you're really funny well i mean i you're always funny but you, obviously, but you're getting funnier lately. Like, you're really funny. I mean, you're always funny, but you're like, I laugh out loud, funny. Well, the thing is, I don't have any sponsors right now. So I'm not getting any endorsements.

So that's where I'm usually more free with my language. Oh. And then, like before, if I have a sponsor that I, where it seems like I'm representing a company, I'm not as loose with my language. So you get to fund me when I don't, yeah, you're super fun. What did you post though today that I missed?

Oh no, I post the other day, I was like, you know, marriages lasted longer before Facebook. Yes, totally. Marriage lasted longer before Facebook, it's true. And I have a book, am I shop? What is it, something about Facebook saying marriage? Have you ever seen that? Am I shop, it's like, And I have a book, am I shop, what is it, something about Facebook saying and marriage? Have you ever seen that? Am I shop, it's like, what a book about

Facebook and marriage. I would probably get rid of my Facebook if I got married. No, you wouldn't. No, I swear I would. You can't be social media director and get rid of your Facebook. But I know what you're saying.

The point is you'd like to get rid of your Facebook. Yeah, if I was at a point where, you know, I'm married and this we can't wait here wedding. I would not. Oh, my book. My wedding would be ridiculous. Can I make a speech? If you were sober, yeah. It depends what time it is. No, it'd be better. Yeah, okay, so we've got a lot of stuff. We've got some sex in the news and we've got topics. And I want to just say that if we're still of our three month free of sex,

then we're giving out to people. So all you have to do is like the sexual and the Facebook page and every day we're selecting someone. And it's about to end like it's gonna end soon. So go like our page. If you've already liked it, you're good to go. And we're picking someone to win three months free of sex. Sweet. Sweet. And also you it, you're good to go. And we're picking someone to win three months free of sex. Am I sweet? Sweet.

And also you get when you do that, when you become a friends member, a friend, a friends of benefits member, FWB, you also get 30 minutes free of fire TV, FYR-E TV, when you become a friends of benefits member. And it's amazing. It's 20,000 titles of all the porn you've ever wanted in your entire life. And you can watch them all in 30 minutes. Yeah, first video I saw was some double penetrating. You can watch some of that tonight if you want. I told you I had to explain to the cable guy, like, oh, did I tell you this the other day or did I tell you this in my thoughts?

You said it on the show. Okay, good. I'm like, did I tell you this in my brain and not really say it out loud? Yeah, it was sort of embarrassed. Okay, not embarrassed, but he was like, right on. Did I tell you this in my brain and not really say it out loud? Yeah, it was sort of embarrassed. Okay, not embarrassed, but he was like, right on. He thought I was super cool because I had a porn box in my house.

That's awesome. I'm pretty awesome, I have to say. Okay, I love our section of the news today. What do you got? I got some good stuff. Okay, so a new website tells you who's masturbating and thinking of you. What?

Think your wank is a social networking dating site for masturbators who prefer to over share. The site allows you to show appreciation to the star of your fantasies anonymously. But if you're wanking, when you're wanking to someone who is also wanking to you, thank your wank, hopefully plays matchmaker. The most important feature for members

is that to do this we can prioritize your wink off list so the people that you fantasize about the tops of lebs of the wall of winks include ashton kutcher Olivia wild Megan Fox Emma Watson and there's also an intense wink battle going on between angiolidually and Jennifer Aniston so whoever you fantasize about not be jacking off the Jennifer Aniston you don't like her? No. Why, you don't think she's attractive at all? Jennifer Aniston, I think she looks like

what Dustin Hoffman would look like if he was 20 years old. Really? Yeah. That's so sad. I think she's attractive. I know, there's a good tendency to make. People know, people don't think so.

I'm sure she's a really cool chick though. I've heard nothing but good things about her. Right. But I don't find her attractive. And she's a really cool chick though. I've heard nothing but good things about her But I don't find her trash. I've been she probably wouldn't find me attractive So I just shouldn't be hurting our feelings exactly. I mean, I'm sure she would though. Man, it's because you're so cute So anyway, thank you all of what I mean to do this like like who thinks that how do you think as a dude ahead of time? Like I'm gonna go masturbate and fantasize about this person That's probably what gets you to start masturbating. Is the thought that passes in your head about something?

You're like, okay, now I'm gonna go masturbate to this situation. Do the same people that you think about when you masturbate? No. It changes all the time. But I never masturbate to a celebrity. Right, I've never done that either. I should try it though.

I've never done that. To a celebrity? Yeah, I don't even know what I do. Would be try it though. I've never done that. To a celebrity? Yeah, I don't even know how to do that. Would be acid and kitchen. No, no, no. And it's all, it's all, no. It wouldn't be acid and kitchen. I don't find him attractive.

I don't find the typical, like I don't even like bread pit. Like I don't even find him attractive, to be honest. So for me, it's about personality and connection. I need to know someone. For real. For real, man, about personality and connection. I need to know someone. For real. For real, man. I'm just real. Okay.

Unmarried couples could go to jail for living together in Florida. So apparently there is a state law that dates back to 1800s that condemns opposite sex unmarried couples living under the same roof. So apparently they can get 60 days in jail. It's just basically this law that's still in the books that you're not allowed to live with someone. It's so stupid. It's like how there's still two states that you can't buy vibrators in and there's our

sawdame's illegal. There's all this stuff. So anyway, it's illegal there to cohabitate if you're not married. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird.

It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. Well, it's crazy because cops can enforce them if they really want to. They know. They say that they haven't. It's not generally reported. And reported and some dude said a sheriff said out of 20 years of law enforcement I've never seen a person arrested but now it has new new attention it's come up again so now they're thinking that people are getting my head scared yeah yeah I just had a friend

that got arrested over the weekend because his his zipper was down and and Some female cops said that he was doing in decent exposure and he got arrested And he's gay he's like come on. I'm not there was no way that I'll be showing my wait wait It was just like unzipped or like on zipped and a penis was taking out. Is we know what I'm sure. Swear. Swear. Just unzipped. Like my zippers halfway down right now, but I'm staying.

I mean, maybe his boxers were showing or something. Like these pants as zipper falls down. Anyway, I can get arrested. You can get arrested. It's he cops can really enforce things. They can't enforce things. So be careful. What?

He wasn't wrong. No. He's just walking on the street and all cops like. No, but he was asking for a bathroom cops like no but he was asking for a bathroom and he thought he was asking for a bathroom and he said the person I swear to God on my life okay he thought the person that he was asking was just a security guard but it was an actual police officer and she's like your zippers down you're going to jail that's crazy San Francisco no no no this is out of state got it okay because I thought crazy. San Francisco? No, no, no, this is out of state.

Got it, okay. Cause I thought of what San Francisco is. San Francisco, you can walk around naked, you ain't gonna get arrested. Exactly. So I'm gonna just even be something like, when you're gonna start being naked, cause there was some other naked story about naked.

Did you read something in the news recently about something? Some naked thing is happening in San Francisco, shall I? Oh, wait, what? People are gonna get naked here. People are always naked here. I love San Francisco. I'm not sure if he's got them. It doesn't even, it doesn't even phase you. People, I mean, and I live like right two blocks from the Castro. And then I was just going to ask you anything else about the news by Karen Burr. Okay. Hen evolved, Hen's evolved a secret sex strategy. I love this story. So

Wiley Hen's have evolved the ability to eject the sperm of unsuitable mates, say researchers, working with Swedish birds. So basically promiscuous roosters, you know roosters try to ensure that their genes are spread, right? So they mate with as many females as possible. But the... Those cocks. Those cocks. So, but by removing the genetic material of males, they consider socially inferior. The hens have managed to retain control of paternity. So, they like eject the sperm out if there's like a rooster coming in as x to them that

they don't think is socially suitable. So, if they think they're, I wanted to know what it meant to be socially undesirable. And it said that they were a force like if a rooster was twice the size of a hen, that So if they think they're, but I wanted to know what it meant to be socially undesirable. And it said that they were forced like if a rooster was twice the size of a hen, that wouldn't be suitable. So they evolved, so yeah, they have the ability to remove the ejaculate. They just like, I don't know how they do that, but that'd be so awesome if we could do that.

We could like, it jack sperm if like you didn't use a condom or a condom broke and you just ejected it. It'd be like a female ejaculation, but sperm ejaculation. Yeah. But we canaculation. Yeah. But we can't yet. Yeah. You might have all the way. That'll be funny if the, if the hands did it,

shot it back at the roosters, say, I don't want this. Exactly. I wonder how long they wait. Do they think that was awesome? You were the best I ever had and then like squirting it out. I don't know. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.

Amazing. Okay, Miss Universe officials to Miss Columbia keep your panties on. What? So we know it's seen me down there in Brazil, but one contestant has apparently been taking this keeping cool thing too far. Miss Columbia has been going suns, panties, and official appearances. So in Miss Universe, 89 beauties were on the world. Her raining beauty queen, she's 22 years old. She's been turning heads over and running mini-skirts without any undies underneath.

Yeah, but you don't want to show panty lines, right? That's the problem. So I've gone in phases for sure where I've been wanting to underwear. And usually it's when I'm wearing dresses or just I went through a phase where I didn't wear them. But I guess if she's on television, she didn't know. She just didn't know where she lives. We don't have headlines. But you could wear a thong or really small. I have some thongs that you wear under dress.

But basically, yeah, panty lines are just terrible. It's worse. But she's wearing a mini skirt anyway. That wasn't the only scandal. They were also compelled to return bikini bottoms after they were too skippy for network television well they're Brazil man if you guys do any research on Brazil they barely wear any clothes I know exactly she just had to be you know she's being herself exactly but you know so, have you been with women who haven't worn underwear?

That they just don't ever wear it. Don't wear it. Don't know it. Don't care. I think so. I can't remember. It's been a while since you've had sex. Yeah, I had sex with someone with underwear. I've been hung out with the opposite sex or done any of that kind of stuff. No, I think I did have a girlfriend that didn't like wearing underwear. I've been with guys who don't wear underwear, they just don't like it. Oh. I don't know, I know I always think they've heard.

I should ask. It sucks. I should ask some other men. I have to wear fresh pair of underwear every single day. Every day, yeah, most people do. Yeah. Yeah. What, no, I mean, there's some days you just out. Right. And then

next morning, I feel so dirty. I need a shower. I need to change my clothes. Yeah, that's helpful. You just got to do laundry. I know. Okay. So worst date ever, perhaps. We've all seen Facebook warnings that so and so only shares some profile information with everyone. So 21-year-old Adam Mitten might have had that on his page, but he certainly, with hell does evening plans from Leah Gibbs, 23, when the pair hooked up to the social networking site. So this couple went on a date on Facebook.

They met through Facebook. So Gibbs was doing the driving and thought she was going on a normal date. And so when the guy asked her to stop at a betting shop and wait outside, she just waited. He goes inside and he comes out with a knife in one hand and a bag of money in the other. He had set her up as a getaway driver.

It was a blind date or it was like the first date and he like robbed a man and they both got arrested. And he's a cocaine addict and has massive debt and she was released though because he said that he acted alone. But he was like on a date with this girl, like she's thinking she's on a date and he goes and he's like, hold on one second, I'm just,

but the betting thing should have set off some kind of alarm for him. He's like a boon him for a second and he comes out with like, drive bitch you know. That could have been an awesome date though. Yeah, that's a good story. Yeah. Like if you read a bad date like yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, this is actually pretty bad. He's probably kind of sucked. Yeah. Yeah, I know within, you should have just like took the money, went to flew to Vegas, had some fun and then say, hey, I had no idea what was going on. But they actually soon got arrested soon after. He said, oh, it was a getaway driver. That's crazy.

I guess my dates haven't been as bad. What was one of the worst days you've had? I haven't had that many horrible dates, but this one guy went out with like, I could smell him before he got. So I live on the third floor of my building. You know, there's lots of stairs in the ground and I could literally smell him. His clone when he walked in the door from the downstairs, I could smell him before I saw

him like it was awful, awful smelling clone. And he was wearing like all these gold chains and he talked, I swear to God. And he like, talked about, it was like a family friend from Michigan set us up and he was talking like about himself the entire time he had way too much hair product in his hair. He drove a Porsche and like talked about it. I thought I'd be really impressed. Like talked about his car, his ex-wife, how crazy she was. Like all the things that you don't do like. Yeah. Why didn't he like he's like, I didn't care. I was like, I did the reach, he's like, oh, if you want.

And I'm like, dude, like to pay, I did the reach and the purse to pay. It was just a bad day. But he wasn't like, he wasn't riding a bank or anything. It wasn't nothing that I haven't had any horrible dates. Because I don't do that many dates to people I don't know. Yeah, I actually had a similar story, but it was just, she was wearing this way too much for a few. Yeah, that's bad.

Women gotta be careful. And sorry, because I was on a double date with my friend. And I go, hey man, come with me to the bathroom. And I go, dude, I'm just getting so sick. I can't take it anymore. And I left her. You left her because of the clothes? Did her perfume?

I left my buddy with these two chicks. You just walked out the back door. Yeah. Oh, that's mean. How old are you? And it's to say that I was sick. You're like, he was last week. It was Tuesday. Yeah. And that was like when I was, I don't know, 17, 18. Okay. Yeah. I guess we all do things like that. Okay. A woman calls her ex-boyfriend 65,000 times in one year. What? Prosecutors in the haggier bring up stocking charges against 40-year-old Dutch woman because she apparently calls her poor beleaguered ex-boyfriend 65,000 times one year. That's 178 calls per day. 7.4 calls per hour, 24 hours a day.

One call every 8.1 minutes for entire year with no pauses. For her part, the woman claims they were in a relationship and that the number of calls were not excessive. What? Yeah, she called the hundreds. Can you imagine, first of all, guys, hate the phone. Like, don't you know that? Well, I like the phone. I'm weird. Oh, yeah, you do pick up the phone. That's one of the things I love about you in my like, reasons why I love menace. Oh, no. It's that you answer the phone. Yeah. You answer the phone. I rather, if you don't like, I know in your message is so annoying that I can't leave a message I know that's a purpose. It's the longest voice-on message and you can't skip it. Yeah, so annoying because I don't want to I know what we don't yeah, we people don't leave you boys messages because they're so annoying. Yeah, yeah, okay

You're gonna like this next story. Okay. This is for you. It's about Jersey Shore. Yes Jersey Shore teams up with cheaterville.com. Cheaterville, not exactly. The Jersey Shore is teamed up with Cheaterville as advertising partners to promote the newest social networking site designed to help people become aware of their cheating significant others. Anyone can go to the site and submit a cheater's profile.

People are calling others horrible names left and right. And honestly, we highly doubt everyone's photo has been uploaded is really a cheater. The website looks like it's half full of cheaters, half full of people want, half full of others that people want or van John. Yeah. So, but still the site creator says, if we can get cast members of the Jersey Shore to realize that cheating is wrong and voice their opinions against it, I know this world will become a better place. And their fans are already echoing some Jersey Shore cast members that cheating is wrong and voice their opinions against it. I know this world will come a better place.

And their fans are already echoing some Jersey Shore cast members viewpoints on cheating. So cheaterville. Yeah. They're like, I guess Jersey Shore, is that a big fan, Jersey Shore? Or like not to cheat? Do they talk about that a lot? Um, look, there's something going on right now between snooki and the situation where the situation says that snooki cheated on her boyfriend

with him when they were at like some event in LA. And so she's like, no, that didn't happen. So that had been the first time they hooked up or did they use to do that? No, apparently they he said that they hooked up before that before it got serious with her current boyfriend, but he said one time When she was Yeah, just for drama he he starts so much stuff does he that's how they love crazy. Yeah, I can't wait to watch it Are you begin to put that on my DVR right yes, I will but uh

And then it's another chick on there. Jay Wow. She started hanging out with some other guy when she had a boyfriend and then she ended up breaking up with a boyfriend and getting with this guy. So I don't know. She's a little calm. She's dumb. None of the guys cheat because they don't have girlfriends. Right. Yeah, why do they all get, yeah, just don't like you say don't commit if, just get out of

the relationship if you want to cheat. Yes, just end it. Yeah, there's no point of you trying to keep that. I know. It's just going to explode in your face. That's why, you know, I didn't commit for a long time because I was a chair. I'm a reformed cheater. Yeah. I've said that before.

And that's why you don't commit now. Right, exactly. I don't want to cheat at anyone. It's so bad. So if you just get, don't commit and then you're not a cheater. Yeah, you're good. No worries. It's awesome. So that's our news unless you had anything to add to our news

Try to think of I heard anything anything good any important No, there's just a singer that you guys you probably don't know maybe her name's Dev and Dev she's pregnant this big news all over the internet and But she's been with her boyfriend for a very long time and so congratulations to her oh for having a boyfriend for a long time and having a baby Oh, that's good. She didn't eject his sperm. She did not good good for her and then Beyonce's pregnant We know that's old. Yeah, and Beyonce's pregnant. Who else is pregnant? Someone else I just read was pregnant too. I don't know.

Anyway, it's time. But stop it, females. Stop kidding, pregnant. Oh, okay. Is she getting any emails? Yeah, go ahead. Okay. Hi, I was just listening to your September 2nd podcast

and heard you say you were getting cable finally. Ha, ha, ha. Then menist comments commented that you'll have to get yet another remote. Got the perfect solution for you. This is like a text solution. Get the log-tech log-tech. Oh, those are awesome. Harmony one remote. Yeah. I got one of those a few years, a few months ago, and it's awesome. Even my parents in the early 70s can use it now. You set up with your computer. Menace can help, I'm sure. I love that

you're right tech guy. And then you press one button and everything you need to watch TV comes on and it's controlled with this remote. Same with watching a DVD button, one button and very cool. Just thought I'd share this with you. And no, I have no vested interest in large tech remote. D from Cincinnati. I know somebody from large tech could maybe get one. Have you heard of this before?

Yeah. It's the most awesomeness remote. So you only need one remote? It comes a little bit. For real? Yeah. That would be nice because I don't know. I actually didn't turn my TV off for two days. It's an awesome, it's remote. So you only need one remote. It's a little bit. For real? Yeah. That would be nice, because I don't know.

I actually didn't turn my TV off for two days. I just turned the volume down, because that's a few. Are you serious? I was afraid I wouldn't be able to turn it back on. And I haven't turned it back on. I didn't try, but because you got to, I don't remember what it said. You've got to TV off for two days. I just turned the volume down.

Like a day, a day and a half. All right. Yeah, is that weird? Because I know that one time I tried to, I should just stop dogging now. Yeah. It should get a universal remote. It would be half vibrator, half remote.

Because they're the same shape anyway, especially this one. It looks like a dildo. Oh, really? Awesome. See, sexo-domin.com. Another product that you can give out online. A vibrator, and everyone has the remote, like no one knows the remote. That's awesome.

Speaking of vibrators, I'm glad you brought that up. I'd like to give a shout out. I mentioned our contest earlier that we're doing. Our contest is what would you give up for amazing sex? What are your life that you're obsessed with, that you love, that you're like, you know what? I would give up chocolate, I'd give up my iPhone for to have amazing sex. For the rest of my life.

We would know. Yeah. Maybe temporarily, for a month. I'll give up everything. You give up everything for amazing sex? That's so sweet. For a month? Yeah.

I don't care. Whatever. Okay. Good to know. So anyway, it's a contest, and it's also sponsored by Adam and Eve, because we're giving away a prize. I don't even know if I mentioned that. Like why would you, I said it was a contest, but I didn't say what you were winning.

And you're winning something from Adam and Eve.com. We love Adam and Eve.com. And if you wanted to buy something there, you get 50% off most items and three adult DVDs, three gifts, like free shipping,, it's this awesome deal, and so you should just go buy something there now. I think vibrating rings are great for the whole family. Great for the fellow family. You just use coupon code Emily at checkout.

That's what I'm gonna say about that. I think we have a caller. We'll see if this works. Okay, awesome. Hello. Hello. Can you hear me? Hello.

Yeah, see, we've got people, he tried to call. What happened? You try to call through Skype, you gotta call, you gotta call through a phone, mail line. So what's the number? Okay, call through your cell phone or phone line. It's 415-992-7392. phone or phone line. It's 415-992-7392. That's 415-992-7392. And you can't call through Skype, so that's why? Well, it's just crappy. There would be like a delay and

stuff like that. Are you sure? I'm pretty sure. I mean, we can keep on trying it, but obviously I've warned against that that now it didn't work Okay, so we have to say that okay call through your phone call through yourself I'll call back. We want to talk deal. Okay Hi, I'm Liam Menace. I've a suggestion for the show to possibly bring on a dating instructor from love systems Or another company would be interesting to hear you guys talk about attraction and sex etc Another note that only guy sounds like he's full of crap. Carlos from Florida.

He's a premium damn right, my friend. I'm a friend of his memory. Thank you. Thanks Carlos. He's a fan. He can't answer a goddamn question. He did answer questions. The answer shit.

It was so like all over the place. Like I tried to like figure out how you even get part of this Human this I'm not saying the process is not real, but he would not give me a straight answer on how you even become a part of this Organization like this orgy cult that you guys are a part of now like he would not give me a straight answer I'm all so you just go there like oh no got to, you got to bring a chick with you. I go, okay, then who are these 10 random chicks you say that are there? They sign up for courses. He told you that.

I know. Yeah. This is one of those arguments that we're never, ever going to agree on for the rest of our lives. Because I think he did answer your questions. No. He didn't answer my questions. If you go back and listen to it, listen to what I was asking this guy and he did not give me a straight answer Okay, oh me disagree

We have an intern in the room. Yeah, she was our never mind. Okay, or gazzle Meditation is what he's talking about. I had a guy on last free Friday. Was it last Friday? Yeah, and here's another thing That I want to point out I even bring up on the show Like this was just a thing so they can meet chicks and then they can hook up with them and they're like no It's all about the process the the feeling that they did through their arms They had the connect with the orgasm and the guy himself said that There's potential that he bones these chicks soicks so of course here let me sign up for some weird freaking cold

where i can rub rambchicks vagina and if they like it then i can bond them in some secret rooms like it's not like that all whatever and go listen to the free Friday show was it when was it last part of the party before last it's on the website a great with the email it's not all about that or geosubedization is not about that

it's not about the connection in the connection it is I could bone someone that I meet through there like that could happen just like it could happen if you meet someone your tennis club you could bone someone that you meet you know I know I'm just saying that's it's probably more likely to happen that you would bone someone saying the guys that say that they're doing it because they get the spiritual connection but he also said he doesn't have a problem getting chicks he doesn't get they're not full of shit because you've

never had a spiritual connection to save your life I have the spiritual connection with my weiner all the time yeah a spirit all right my weiner acts as a spirit and it gets a spiritual connection all the time I believe you and I think all the guys are full of shit, okay? You got a full shit of course the reason again, not that the process is full of shit I believe in the process that it does work. I do believe in all that. I'm saying the reasons behind men doing this and they're saying it's all about the connection and the feeling and blah blah is

full of shit it is just a reason the rubb women's vagina and potentially sleep with that there's nothing wrong with that but don't you know that's why he did it that's not okay whatever that's not why he did it are you at the beginning it yeah i think it's because people are like searching for like spiritual connections and that and i think that whatever. That's not why he did it. Are a problem getting checks. He was a trap man. That's okay.

That's that's great. Right. You know, but I'm just saying this is what I get a thousand do's off craigslist that would jump at the chance to do this shit. Right. I'm just saying they don't let anyone come in and rub your clitoris. They're like trained. Yeah. Yeah.

But if it was just about that, but people wouldn't stay there and do. Okay. Anyway, so he had the that guy was full of crap. Fine, but the first thing he says, we should bring in dating structure. We actually did an amazing interview that we're going to air. We had to do it off hours one day because his guy, his name is Evan Mark Cats and he's amazing and he is a dating coach instructor. And I did like an hour like you weren't here, but I did an hour long interview with him

that we're going to air one day when we are gone. Cool. I don't know when. Give me a thing to do on a date. Can you tip right now? And I did like an hour like you weren't here, but I did an hour long interview with him that we're gonna air one day when we are gone. Cool, give me a tip thing to do on a date. Give you a tip right now. Yeah. What to do on a date. What on a date? What's it, what's, what's, what was,

give me a specific question. That would be something that would make me look good on a date. A dating coach? Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like I would tell you. Let's say I'm on a date, I'm at dinner. Uh huh. With, with the girl, what could I say or do that would make me look good? Ask her questions about herself.

Don't use a group on. We were talking about this early in the office. First of all, the real answer to that is um, is to just listen. Listen and ask questions. Yeah, we want to talk about themselves. And they don't want to hear about you. No, we do want to hear about you, but not Ed Nazim, not the whole time. But there was something that I saw that, I think it was the SF Weekly, the San Francisco Weekly paper, it was on Twitter, they said,

what should someone use a group on on a date? Hell no. Right, that's what I said. That's what I said. Do you want a guy to be like, here, can you pay 10 bucks for this dinner? But then we talked about it at length, and we were saying that, well, you know,

maybe if he slips to the waitress, what if he slips to the waitress and you don't see it, but you got like a good, yeah, exactly. We don't really buy your group on. You what? Yeah, no, you can't let him see it, but. You can't let him see it. But I don't want a guy being like,

oh, but I guess if you're dating someone for a while and you're like, oh, I got this group on for this restaurant, that's fine. But like the first or second date or third date. No, women are into money and don't look cheap. We're not into money. We just don't want you to look cheap. We really don't.

We all decide that we're like, cheap is so unattractive. Because there's ways that you can have no money and still be a great date. It doesn't matter. You can go on a great date. You can go for, you know, get coffee, you can go for walk, you can meet somewhere cool, like some exhibit or whatever, and it doesn't have to be expensive and money.

And in fact, I'd prefer the first date not to be a meal. I prefer to be not group-on-able because I wanted to be something that you can get out of. I don't want to sit through. Because if you're on a bad date and you're like, oh god damn it, I guess that, we're just on appetizers right now. We gotta sit at the meal and they do my dessert and you do my coffee and you wanna like shoot yourself.

And then you go to the bathroom and you're like, I've to have these bad dates and texting my friend and I gotta get outta here. Like I've actually had to call friends from dates to get them out, you know, emergency, anyway. So don't use a group bomb. Yeah, okay, dear Emily, what are you doing there? Dude, I understand, person on Skype, don't message us,

use a goddamn telephone. Tell a message in back. I'm sorry, stop saying hi. I love you, Mike, but you gotta use a phone if you want to call. Okay, got it. You gotta use yourself up. Screwing up the show. Okay.

And I'm not getting angry at you, just angry at technology. Right. We can get a better phone to someone here at some point, but not now. Okay. Dear on the amends is lesbian sex more about pressing, kissing, licking, nibbling, and sucking as opposed to penetration. It's fist. Jeff from Minnesota. We're having a fisting expert on. No, you're not. Yeah, I am. He's in gay porn and he's a fisting expert and he's going to be on the show in a few weeks. Can't wait for that one. Okay. Is lesbian sex more about pressing, kissing, licking, nibbling and sucking as opposed to penetration? Jeff from Minnesota. Okay. Here's the thing about lesbian sex is that,

no, a lot of lesbians are into penetration. They hence the strap on dildo where they strap it out and they penetrate their partner either vaginally or annually. But I think a lot of it is about cresting, licking, nibbling, and sucking for sure. But there is penetration. You can use your fingers or you can use a dildo. So I think a lot of lesbians are into that, but some aren't just like some people aren't into that. Yeah. well, then some people aren't into everything. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I know some, I know some gay men that not they're not in to penetration. Just oral. That's it, which I find weird.

Yeah, because as a guy, you want, you would want to stick your thing anywhere you can, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if it's, yeah, you're right. I don't know, but I've heard that too. But this is about lesbian. I don't know that all lesbians, I'd be interesting to know. I'm not lesbian, but I do love women.

Uh-huh. So, you know, I'm assuming they like everything. Penetration? Yeah. Yeah, I think everyone is like, you just like, you want something in your vagina. Yeah. Like, you want to be penetrated by something.

Like, you want like, even a vibrator. Doesn't Like, you want to be penetrated by something. Like, you want like, or even a vibrator. Doesn't have to be a star bomb. I want to take that part. Sometimes you just want something in your vagina. I think you'd miss it. Like, I mean, fingers are okay, but sometimes you just want a penis or something like a penis in your vagina, if it's been a while.

I got to get an instant replay in here. Well, there's this take sound bites from you. Can you do that? Can you do that? The button, yeah. Well, they cost $3,000 or so. Really? Anybody wants to donate? Anyone wants to donate one?

Go for it. Okay. Speaking of that, we're printing stickers and text on my t-shirt. So if anyone knows about a good reasonable place to do that, hit us up. Hit us up. Feedback. Feedback. Hey, Emily and menace.

I love your show. Key over to good work. I have a question. I've been dating my girlfriend for six good work. I have a question. I've been dating my girlfriend for six months now and she's a virgin. We tried having sex but couldn't because it was painful for her. I know it's painful for the time.

I know it's painful sometimes. So just wanted to ask how I can make it better for her so that it's not that bad. Also, I kind of have a big penis so it's making it worse. Thanks for your time, regards. Terino. Always got to throw the name. By the way, I have a big penis.

This is a serious, can I tell you something? This is a serious issue. Yeah. A lot of men, and I've heard this before, like, they have big penises, and it's actually can hurt women. Like, it actually does not feel good. Like, they keep running into the situation. The situation where the people with the penis is too big.

So I would say use lots of lube and go really slow. And don't try to shove it in and she's a virgin. Be really careful with start with your fingers. Start with one finger, two fingers, three fingers. And then I would gently ease using tons of lube. More lube than you think is possible. You can go to Adam and Eve because I get the dissaid me this big, huge thing of lube that's in a pump. And I'm so psyched about it. It's like lifetimes of five loom

How big is it? It's this big It should last me a month, so it's like Trying to think what What you can relate that to is like there's two later size almost yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, like a two-liter size of Loub like this bit like I it's a barely fits in my nightstand You can make it like a make a slip-in slide or something something like that So lots of loop you can never have too much. Lube and um go slow That's what I have to say. All right, nothing big pieces. I did have I was the guy once and he's like sorry

I'm really big can't he and he was big, but he was like his he's sufficient ass He was like I was like we have to use a condom Of course because you should always use condoms and he was like I'm too big for condoms like it won't fit Like it literally won't fit and he like had this kind of like showing me how I kept like slipping off him And like you can find kind of he was big, but I anyway, we didn't have a sex because he's a condom So let's get into our favorite topic all right, okay our. Our favorite topic, oh wait, wait, wait, wait, this is not our favorite topic. It's my favorite topic.

Can I talk? Talk about more lies. What? This topic, this portion and again. This is the best topic. No, it's not. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

Sorry for dropping so many F bombs today. I'm a little out of it as usual. Why? I don't know. Are you up late? No, I got a little more rest today. But, you know, it's just a heat. Our weather changes so rapidly.

I know, it makes you crazy. It makes me insane, so I, so. But it's kind of cold out again today. Yeah, bummer. Okay, hand jobs. Let's get a handle on it. We're thinking of all these funny things off Okay, hand jobs. Let's get a handle on it. We're thinking about all these funny things that's really, let's get a handle on it.

Okay. Let's get a clip on it. What about hand jobs? Okay. Women can't give them. Better than a man can give to himself. That's my statement. Okay, so men and I,

I think we just have to recap real quick. Go ahead. Okay, so men and I, I guess a few years ago now, we had a show we were talking trying to go on hand jobs. I was saying that I think hand jobs are awesome and I want to bring back the hand job because I think that people, women, don't give men hand jobs as much as they think it's all about oral sex, it's all about giving a good blow job, it's all about that.

But hand jobs can actually be a really nice addition to sex, not instead of sex, not instead of oral sex, but a really cool, awesome thing that you can do that can feel great for a guy and it's just like a wow, surprise, like to get a hand job. So we're going to give you some tips here and a crash course on the penis. I remember when I just, a memory just came into my mind right now. And I've never shared this, I've been talking about it. One of my very first hand jobs where I came to completion,

right? My leg kicked violently. Like you know when they go to the doctors office and they hit you with whatever the hell it is. So, tool that they hit you on the knee and they're late this kicks like my leg kicked violently Crazy It is pop things like you threw up or something bad and like that's why you don't like the hand job No, no, no, I've had my friends have girls throw up on their penis when they're giving them

Blow I've had friends who have thrown up on those penises in college or passed out or something We threw up and passed out in college. Okay, those are good times classic chips Okay, so It's about adding variety the stuff about variety. We're talking about giving tips to love making To sex that are different wedding variety. It's all about variety. We're all about giving tips to love making, to sex that are different. So if you don't want to have intercourse with this way, lots of women also, I'm just gonna say it, like if you're having your period or it's that time a month and you're like same thing, that time month and you're like, I can't affect

someone or I don't have sex now, we some guys aren't into it, which whatever. Give me a hand job. Like if you're with someone for like a while, you're living with someone and you're like, I really don't want to say, you can just, it's a great thing to do, okay? So there are times you can do it. It's like not tonight or the words that men hate. Most men hate that when a woman's like, not tonight, I have a headache, not tonight, like get my hand job. You could like, give it with one hand and watch TV. But anyway, here's the penis. So first, I just understand the penis real quick, the sensitive parts and the penis. You tell me about about the penis. I'm gonna tell you about the penis, right?

The base of the penis is a soldier It can take a lot of pressures. Don't be afraid of it But make sure you leave it up first So this the loob is key here like go get this pumpy loop thing the guy I wish I had the name it man. I don't even pump loob is brilliant because you don't have to fuss with the cap Yeah, okay the underside of the penis is where it's at the erectile tissue is right under the skin with I don't even need it. Pumped Louvre is brilliant because you don't have to fuss with the cap. Yeah. Okay, the underside of the penis is where it's at. The erectile tissue is right under the skin,

which makes it super sensitive to make sure you give it some quality attention. The coronal ridge, do you know the names of your penis parts? If I put your penis on a flow chart here, would you be able to name these parts? The shaft. The coronal ridge, where the penis and the head meat is very sensitive. Give

it some quality time. The freinulum is a little band of tissue on the underside just beneath the head. And it's the head of penis. It's the money spot. If the head of the penis is the money spot, this is a close second. You know about the freinulum underneath. Yeah. We've talked about this before. But you probably know it. But do you know that's the best part? Like when you're like masturbating, do you touch that part? Yeah, well, I'm having sex. We're having sex. Not like a masturbating all the time. I'd never do that.

But is the tip more sensitive or the frenulum? The frenulum, not the tip. The frenulum. The frenulum's more sensitive than tip. But is the tip feel good? Yeah, the tip feels good, but it's all about the fun. You know, it is right. Yeah, I should get teachers to say that it's all about the front. That's my T shirt.

Maybe we're trying to come with T shirt ideas. Um, my one T shirt is I had sex with Emily and all I got was his T shirt. Oh, is that funny? And then you should have a picture of you with your thumbs up like this. Like this. On the T shirt. I don't think so. Why not? Yeah, two thumbs up and smiling. On the t-shirt. That's kind of funny. I actually like as t-shirt and I'm going, yeah. I don't think so. But okay. You never want to do any of my ideas. I love your ideas. They're so cute. Okay.

I have the best ideas. Ask any of the Okay. I had the best ideas asked any listeners. What if the have sex with the computer or where you're at? The computer has sex with you while you're listening with sex to Emily. Uh, it's not rocket science people, you know, so invent it. Yeah. Yeah, I'll take the proceeds. You can use my name. No. Oh, no. Okay. Grease it up. You gotta use lots of loop. Okay. You have two hands or use two hands. This is where it's different. Not that you don't have two hands, but do you ever masturbate with two hands? No, right not a monkey It feels good. I bet two hands. Yeah on your penis So when you're so so grip the base of the cock you the penis between your thumb and index finger like making okay sign

This intensified things by traveling but in the penis. So anyway, you can use both hands, okay? Then there's some stuff I want to get to you. The goal is to be like a vagina. You want it to feel like a vagina, right? The goal of the hand job is to be so great that if your man was blindfolded, he wouldn't be able to tell your mouth,

your hands, or vagina. It feels like a vagina. It wouldn't be able to tell that I'm a vagina. You better be so good at it that you can do it with your feet. You can bring me to completion. But seriously, like make it like tight and snug and so it's like, not too tight, not too tight and not too soft. You got to find that equal. I know it's easy. Is it? No, sometimes no, sometimes they grab the base so hard. It feels like it's being ripped off. Who?

What people random women that you meet at bars? They just have your penis. So I hear. So I hear random women you meet at bars grab your penis. So I hear they grab it so tight at the bottom. That is kind of circulation. I thought it was a glass or something. She's still drunk.

Discirculations getting cut off. Women really do that. Yeah, and then I actually become an un-un-un-irrect. Un-irrect. You better even work. Do you rectified? I don't know.

It actually becomes a little more intense. Because you grab it like, cuts off the circulation so much. E-rexlation. E-rectification. The weiner's like, ooh, really? Yeah, because the blood flow, and then like I have to get my weiner back to that point again.

That's a bummer. So you were already hard at the bar when she grabbed your penis that you're, I'm saying people told me this. She deflated your penis. Yeah. That's so sad. Stop holding it so hard. Don't hold it too hard, Tasmanis, okay.

And but not too soft either. And women that give soft blow jobs might not as well, even give blow jobs. What do you mean? They don't, what do you mean a soft blow job? They just like, they just, like, they come like, like, like, they're just so soft with it. Like, no, suck on it. Like you're, you're trying to suck the pain off, you know, like the chrome off the bum. Yeah. That's the kind of blow job we want. We don't want the freaking soft blow job. I agree.

I know this. I'm out of a penis. I've stock chicks in mid blow job because it was so terrible. You have? Yeah. Pull out by a hair. I'm like, okay, cool. You're like, I'm cool.

Dawn, thanks babe. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just, I'm pleased. We're a slow job of my life. Get out of my face. Really? Get out of my house. To you say comment? Would you say okay? Or would you say?

Would you say at a scale of one to ten? No, no, what percentage sorry, I want this to your percentage question. What percentage of of Blow jobs that you've received are not good. What percentage? Yeah I'd say maybe 20 percent. Oh, so 80 percent of them are good. So it's Yeah. I would say maybe 20%. Oh, so 80% of them are good. So it's a rare woman that does it too soft forever. You know, she does it too soft. She somehow I feel her teeth for some reason.

Oh, teeth never use teeth. Although some of you like teeth, but that's what I've heard. Okay. That's what you heard. No, I didn't, I actually did. I don't remember. I think it was what you heard. No, I actually did. I don't remember. I think it was in sex school. There was something about teeth, some people like it when you like nibble a little or

the you. It's called grazing. Grazing. Yeah. Exactly. Some of you do it like that. I know things. You do know things.

I know. You do some things about things. No, I'm grazing. Here are some of the best. The new proposition. What did you say? No, I'm grazing. No, I'm grazing. Yeah. Okay. Grazing here are some of the best what you say no on grazing no on grazing yeah Okay, here are some of the best variations to give me a job

so Wait, this is what I want to say here is Okay, you got the vagina part so you want it to be tight right here's some very okay the stop and go hand job You're hate this one, but this is really good for men you have premature ejaculation issues What all right? I don't like it by the name. Go ahead. The stop and go. Here's a great technique if he wants to last.

Simply stop masturbating him just as he's about to ejaculate. Once he is relaxed, start to masturbate again. Repeat this process over a few times so we can no longer handle it. You can no longer handle your hand. This is good because this is actually what men should do if they're premature regulators themselves. They should master weight themselves till they're almost about to master, till they're about to come and then stop.

No. Yeah. The shower hand job. Have them stand in the shower, face in the wall, side and put his left leg on a sturdy ledge. Take the handheld shower head and hold it upside down in your hand and then direct the spray towards his anus and scroll down and let the jets of water do its thing where you master rating with your other hand. Every now and then don't forget to take those testicles. The shower hand job would be easy. I don't need my

testicles touch though. Don't touch the testicles. But don't send that message to women across the world because a lot of men do like it. Yeah, feel it out, feel it out. See, feel out the sit. But yeah, a lot of men don't like it, and a lot of men do like it. I told you early on, I got scared by a guy who's like, no, no, no, and then I thought that all men didn't like it.

But then I found out I was just like for years, ignored. I just was like avoiding them. I was like, I'm never gonna touch them, but some guys are like totally into it. Like they moan, they're psyched, they're like, oh, I'm so glad you're avoiding them. I was like, I'm never gonna touch them, but some guys are totally into it. Like they moan, they're psyched. They're like, oh, I'm so glad you just touched them. I'm saying you can put them in your mouth just don't touch them with your hands.

Oh, you didn't say that. Yeah. Interesting. So no hands but mouth. Yeah. That's so different, Matt, it's that's so not, I don't like my balls touched. You like them sucked.

Yeah. That's so different. Hmm. Okay. We learned something today. We did learn something today about your balls. I thought I knew sucked. Yeah. That's so different. Hmm. Hmm. Okay. We learned something today. We did learn something today about your balls. I thought I knew everything.

Okay. The silky hand. Use your... The silky hand. I like that. You put on some Marvin Gaye. Use your silk sheets or handkerchief to get him off. He'll love the feel of the fabric.

You can also use your underwear. Heed up in the microwave for 60 seconds to give them a very warm feeling. Another thing you can do is your hair. It's a very stimulating sight for men. Like put your hair on a penis. So anyway, that's a second job. Would you like, have you used material over your penis? No.

Feels good. Could feel good. I mean, every guy's used sock, but that doesn't feel good. That's just... Why is every guy used to sock? Because for clean-up purposes, oh, but that doesn't feel good. Why is it guys use a sock? Because for cleanup purposes, but why not? Feel good. Oh, it hurts. It's so scratchy. Yeah, we're talking silk.

Yeah, so it's good. Yeah, not, you know, many guys have, you know, silk laying around. Right. You know, it's amazing. When you lose our bet, you're going to, um, they're going to love that massage or that I know that thing looks like it's going 10-gun. No, that thing looks like it's gonna chop off my penis. Everyone has to check it out. Tango.com, T and I think it's Tango. I got T and G A.

They make this amazing male masturbation toys. And this one is epic. And I can't wait for menace to lose our bet. And he's going to masturbate with it. It's gonna be awesome. I don't understand it. What? I don't understand either.

It's hard to open, but no, no, I do understand it. It's awesome. And then they make these little eggs that I've been showing you. I'm gonna give you one. A little egg that you can just take home with you and you open it up and it's got this vibrating, I mean, this thing for your penis. The clasping hand, I've clasped your hands if you're praying around as penis and masturbate them that way.

This is great for women who's wrists are tired. You can use both hands to keep the motion going. All right. All right, both hands. So while you're masturbating, put, okay, the scratch and stretch hand job, while you're masturbating him, pull on his scrotum sack. No, okay.

Don't be afraid to really stretch it. It's a feeling men love. What do you think? Also gently scratch it along with dental scratches on his inner thighs. How do you feel about that? The scrotum, the scrotum, uh, maybe a little,

stretching the scrotum sack. Maybe, maybe try a little tug. I don't know. Uh, but I don't know about the scratching. Maybe a little tug. No, that's bad. Oh my god, I've got more, but we have to, we have to. We got to wrap it up.

We'll save it for tomorrow. Yeah, let's do it for tomorrow. We'll finish hands out part two tomorrow a little bit. And oh, tomorrow's show is awesome. Tomorrow is, how to become a better kisser? Because yeah, there's really bad kissers out there. And like, I have a friend who was just, it was freaking out this morning

because she was so into this guy, they had three dates and she just, she waits to kiss guys and it was the fourth date and she's like, he was the worst kisser. I'm never seeing him again. So I thought we had to rectify that situation for people across America and the world. Thanks everyone for listening to Sex with the Emily

was it good for you? email me feedback at sextheemely.com.