Sex With Emily - Face-Sitting, Fetishes & Foreplay Foibles With Joanna Angel

Episode Date: August 31, 2016

We’re ending Anal Sex Month with a bang and revving you up for Back to Sexual Confidence Month! In today’s show, Emily is joined by punk rock porn darling Joanna Angel to give you tips on a plethora of sex and relationship predicaments.   Is your partner’s delayed ejaculation giving you lock jaw? How do you get your lover to comfortably climb on (your face)? What do you do when your vanilla partner keeps your inner freak from shining? Emily and Joanna answer these sexual inquiries and more, plus tell you what France is doing to up their sexual education! From face sitting to foot fetishes to all the anal, oral, and squirting tips you can ask for, this podcast covers it all! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with the Emily An today's show. I'm getting to a smorgasbord of sex and relationship topics with the help of special guest co-hosts in punk, rock, porn, darling, Joe Anna Angel. Thanks for listening. Not a podcast goes by when I don't tell you about how much I love my magic wand. Well, it makes sense. For more than 30 years, the Magic Wand has been the leader in power and pleasure. It was even named one of the world's top 10 most influential gadgets by Time Magazine. It is truly the Cadillac of all vibrators, and now you can have all that full-size power without the cord.

I know! No cord! The Magic Wand with Chargeable is the go-to favorite for everyone here at Sex with Emily. I even tried using it as a microphone at a show last month. You can see that video on my site. Turns out, it's a great vibrator, terrible microphone. Well, live and learn. The Magic Wommered Chargable features the same quality materials and reliability of the

original, plus the ability to select from four intensity levels and four vibration patterns. It is absolutely on my must-have list. To get yours, click on the Magic One banner on my site or visit magicwanoriginal.com today. Music Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that block our sacred institutions.

Betrubized they call them in a fight on day Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute The girls got everything, oh my The women know about shrinkage Isn't it common, Emily? What do you mean, like laundry? It's drinks? Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here, so drunk Being bad feels pretty good You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ So easily subscribe to the podcast, ask us a question. Oh my God, there's so much. Easily right there from the website. Ask, or you can go shopping, we've got a store. You can follow us on Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, sexwithemily and Facebook.com slash sexwithemily.

And you can also download us now on Google Play, SoundCloud, and Spotify in addition to iTunes, which is very exciting. I'm so excited for my guest, my little co-host here. Hi. Joanna. How are you? I'm very excited too. I know. This is great. When you've been on the show as a guest, I'm just like, just let's do this. Let's do this together. Let's share this. I know. I love it.

Well, we're now in September. And September is for our show right now, we've declared it like, you know it's back to school. Right. We're saying that September is back to sexual confidence month. Oh, right. So we're going to be giving ways all month. We're going to have, how people are better sex than all starts with confidence. It really does.

I feel like anytime people ask me sex advice questions, I just feel like I keep repeating myself where it's like you have to have more confidence, you have to have more confidence. And it's easier said than done. Exactly. You know. So we're going to be giving some tips on month-to-month, but on the last month as you know, anal sex month. How was it?

Yeah, you missed anal sex months. I missed anal sex months. I had a lot of anal sex months. Oh, you did? I did. I did. Okay, good. I want to hear all about that. Because we did a great podcast called Elevated anal with Dr. Hernandez Chavez. Do you know Hernandez? I did. I did. I did. Okay, good. I want to hear all about that. Because we did a great podcast called Elevated Aino

with Dr. Hernandez Chavez. Do you know Hernandez? I don't know. He was great. It was really funny. He came for the kickoff podcast, and he was running a cross-dude butt plugs, and they were almost fell off the street.

Oh, that's so funny. It was a very funny show. But you had a lot of anal sex, not too like anal sex that you're a major. I do. I love anal sex. I really do like to have it. So what is it that you love about it?

It's just this really different sense I love anal sex. I really do like to have it. So what is it that you love about it? It's just this really different sensation. Ever since the first time I had it, I was like, wow, this is so cool. Right. It's kind of like, and I remember the first time I did it, I was like, oh, I didn't even know that was like an option. Exactly. No one tells us. I mean, now people love it. Yeah, I didn't even know that was like an option. Exactly. No one tells us. I mean,

now people love it. Yeah, I know. No, that was before. Ainal was like every other word. Ainal's every literally every other word. Every other question is Ainal. So and Q orgasms final. I can. Yeah, I can. It's a whole different kind of orgasm. It feels completely different. But I think the strongest orgasms I have are, you know, when there's like something in my ass and someone's rubbing my clip at the same time, it's like a really crazy, I like transport to a different universe.

So it's really fun. And you know, I don't think anal sex is something people should have like every single day, you know, if that's not what you're used to. Right, it's kind of like ease into it. Yeah, lots of it. Yeah, yeah. What's your best anal sex tips?

Like what have you learned over like doing anal sex? And I do think I was blessed, I guess. Like I've, I never had a problem with anal sex. I think some people's bodies are more, are more built the not, you know, I know I've directed a million pornos and I remember, well, not, you know, close. Close to my age. Yeah, you guys, you want to see your pornos by the way, if you don't know who I'm talking about, like who's the winner angel, which I assume you all know she is, go to burningangel.com

because she's a porn entrepreneur. Yeah, I like to, yeah, I think I was regretted that word. I'm a porn to Pernour. Porn to Pernour. And so she's got her on site. She makes her own porn. She stars in porn. She's got a lot going on there. And she's at Joanne angel on Instagram and at Joanne angel on Twitter. Yeah, you've directed so many. Yeah, I directed so many films and I remember I used to. I used to be a little bit insensitive. I do. When girls would be like, oh, I'm so scared to have anal sex with that guy I'm like oh whatever it's easy just put it in I gave the worst anal sex advice ever Because I just always had a really easy time with it and And then I realized I'm like okay not every girl can just But they don't show you the board taking your ass

I like it. I have to get them better advice. Do you tell me to do that to Lou? Yeah, but I think more important than Loub is being relaxed. Like you put a ton of Loub on you, but if you're really tight and really uptight, and your body is just like saying no, all bottle anal and tight in the way, then nothing's going to happen, you know?

It's true, breath. We talked a lot about that show. You got a big breathing. We talked to more nervous. Right. And you're tensing your ass up. You're straight about. Get yourself off.

You know, like I've told girls just like master bait a little bit. Just so your body is just kind of like we say, you know, more. Right. More receptive. But I mean, I'm actually like, there's a lot of positions that I can't handle giant penises when they're in my vagina which is really weird. But my ass is like some vacuous.

Don't be so dope in it. It goes, it goes. That's amazing. You're like that ass, not my vagina. You my butt. Let's go. I know when I used to perform a lot, you know, when I was younger and more important, I did way more scenes than I do now.

I remember there was like a spurt where I did like, I did a scene every day for 20 days or something crazy like that. And I remember on the last like five days, this was when I still worked for other people. I remember on the last few days, like I was booked for scenes that weren't anal scenes. And then I remember just being like,

who is just, who is just, I just wanna have anal sex. And the director would be like, but it's not, you know, they give me this awkward look. I'm like, I don't care if you don't pay me for it. Just, my vagina is sore. And my other whole, yeah, I know. That is so funny. I always really, it was one of those things that I remember

reading about anal sex. I mean, do you know Tristan Terranino? Yes, of course, yeah. things I remember reading about anal sex I mean you know Tristan Terran, you know, yeah, so I remember reading her book actually Once upon a time a long time ago I was when I was in college. I was an intern at nerve.com So yeah, and I remember meeting Tristan there and everyone at nerve was like yeah, she's this You know woman and yeah, and she wrote a book about anal sex and I was like, whoa, and I really had never heard anyone just openly talk about anal sex at that point in time. There's a major difference in the last time. No, I'd say, I know, I was like 15 years ago now.

I'd say he was about 12 years ago. Yeah, exactly. I think she started it. Yeah, I think she was. She kind of started it. We're all these like intellectual, especially in New York. Right. I mean, it's living in New York at the time. I felt like I heard her talk about anal sex and then I just started hearing everyone talk about anal sex. And then also before that, no one was talking about it.

No one. I mean, when I was in high school, it wasn't even, no one was talking about it. I had absolute, it wasn't an option. No, I never heard of it. That that was the thing. Right. I love that I'm with you. I don't know. I do. That was a thing. I know. I love that I'm It was a different time

19 24 you're 21. Yeah, but no, it was exactly it was just like that So now it's funny because we do get all those questions But now I would been saying lately because I want and I was gonna ask you to the trends because you've been in this business for a long time It's not right. It's been a while. It went by fast. But I feel like it was a new girl in porn. I don't know, but now you're like the little star porn. You've your own porn empire. But it's like I was thinking that when I started, I always said like, Aino's the new blow job.

Like Aino was becoming more normal like a blow job. And now I feel like squirting is the new anal. Everyone's wearing a squirting. Squirting, right? Yeah. That also, right? Don't you think it Everyone's like squirting, right? Yeah, that's what's squirting, right? That also, right? Don't you think it was more that people saw it important? Yeah, they saw it important. And I mean, I'm really, people are like,

how do you squirt? I don't squirt very often. Right. And it's, I honestly don't even, I don't have orgasms with it. I don't really love the feeling. Like, it happens sometimes, but I get so... It's hard for me to keep having sex after I squirt, because I get kind of sore and tense.

Yeah, it's almost like a little painful for me. It feels like someone like reached inside of you and like pulled an orgasm off. Exactly. Instead of it just kind of coming naturally. So everyone was like, so obsessed with squirting. I'm like, oh no. It's a guys, right? Because think that it's like this otherworldly thing they were able to have a Yeah, I mean a lot of times it really is pee, you know Mean you're peeing some on someone's element. It has elements of

I think I heard dark to do it's true. It's a very scientific Grant the perioreal grant glands. Yeah, it fluids from there, but there is urine mixed in. Right, so it's just so that happens. So people are, but can we go back to? But do we have sexual confidence? Sexual, no. No, I always tell you that because I wanted to kick it off.

And the funny thing is, is when you walked in, is you said to me, do you guys get a lot of the same emails? I'm like, well, we kind of do, they're same genres of emails and we're starting to take collars and voicemails and stuff and stuff but then we talked about and it was funny because you said well confidence everyone wants to know like how do you build your confidence yeah I'm like I know when it's really like it is the most important thing like in your life

like I always say if you do anything if you cultivate confidence like spend your life room and you know when people when you're really on confident right they can see that but how do you explain it? So, you know, like what would be your... Like, yeah, I mean, we'll get to some emails too, but I'm always like, you know, you just have to work on those demons in your head that are telling you that you're otherwise. That's beyond sex, but I think they get interwoven with each other. I really think if I could go back and say I'm like, I wish I would have If I could go back and say, I wish I would have masturbated more before I had sex. I really do think masturbation makes women in particular way more confident. Right.

I don't, I honestly don't know about that with men. That's a whole different thing. But with men, I think that no, but it's true. It's funny to say that because starting with, like, talking about sexual confidence, we actually did a video, what you wish you learned. It's on our Instagram page. It's called, it was like maybe a few weeks ago or a few months ago, it was what do you wish

that you learned in sex ed? And then a bunch of people commented, you guys can still comment on there. And it was like, I wish I learned about masturbation. Like it never even occurred to me to masturbate growing up. Like I never even thought to touch myself. And so but once I started to eventually, I was like, oh, I get it.

And so I do tell women all the time, and it's the more you know about your body, it makes you feel good. But for the guys, the guys feel like they need to have a playbook and they need you exactly what to do. But the good news is that every woman's body is different. So, as long as you're just like listening, paying attention, asking questions, not too many,

but just watching what's going on. You're not sewing your head. will help you have more confidence, the more women you're with, and our partners, and whatever you'll feel better. But it also starts with, I mean, I hate that. Fake it till you make it, but it's part of loving yourself. It's part of loving yourself. It makes sense. Like, the first time I ever had an orgasm, it was from another person.

Now, I never felt that before, and I felt so out of control. And then it was like, oh, I really liked that feeling. If I want to experience that feeling again, that person needs to do that same thing to me again. So then I started acting, you know, kind of like. You got it. You started acting, but that it was your, you don't think you can do it yourself.

No, it didn't even occur to me. It's so weird. To think that I was that same, that I'm thinking of myself. I want to go back in time and be like, what were you thinking? You don't need to see that person again. Yeah, I need to see that person.

He's not the only thing that can make that thing happen to you. And it's like, I didn't even start mass reading until a couple of years after I started having sex and it's like, I felt like it just relaxed my entire personality. Right. It does. It really does change you where you're not like just this big ball of stress kind of walking around looking for someone else to teach you. Exactly. How to enjoy yourself, you know, like, is that my best sense?

No, I mean, I'm just like, yes, yes. I mean, that's why I always say, it's interesting. You say that because another one of the, you know, very common questions we get asked is, you know, from women and men who have low sex drive, low libido, or they're not interested in sex. And a lot of us, because stress and anxiety is one of the biggest killers of our sex drive. And so, by masturbating, you will feel more release and you will feel less stressed.

It does, we'll help those feel the more months. The aspects of your life. Exactly. And then you'll get more than move for sex. Yeah, exactly. It'll be more motivated in other aspects of your life. Right. Everything kind of comes together.

It's like exercise. You need to exercise, you need to master it. And men and women, it's not necessarily. It's like events as much. But for women, if you have it in a while, and you're like, just start. Take 10 minutes in the shower. You know, takes toy, whatever works.

Yeah. I use toys, what do you do? I just use my fingers. If I use a toy, I use a Hitachi. Right. Those are just the best. That's the best, right? They are, they're the best

Do you have the cordless one? The rechargeable? Yeah, yeah, I have that one I have a couple of Of course you do, you got a bunch of But really, my fingers are great I probably use just do that the most I know it's kind of a bummer

because I have so many friends The work with toy companies They always want to be like What do you use when you're a master rate? I'm like nothing No, sorry That's use when you're a restaurant? I'm like, nothing. No, sorry. That's great. So we need to take away business

from all the amazing products that are out there. It does do that at all. I mean, if women, I mean, I think the thing is, I can do it with my hands, but I also just like, vibrate just a different kind of work. It is. It feels different. It's different. So it's like, however you get off,

like it doesn't matter, but just like, do it. Like, start to just work that into your team because I do with mine up. it's like my job to master it is because we do get to my professor. I know I get product sense to me and I'm like, oh God, I gotta try this. And I even find myself that I don't make time. Sometimes, of course, those who can't, you know,

I'm teaching it, but then I start to and I go home and I do it and then I'm like, no problem. But it's like exercise. Like you don't do it for a while, it's hard to do it and then you do it again and you're like, I want exercise every day. So, or a few times a week. So now I'm like, I also can't exercise and do the same thing for me. When I do my kegels more, I like

feel like my whole like, your whole pubic floor, the G-spot, I'm like, I want sex more. Yeah, I think that's G-spot or g-spot or g-spot. I do. Yeah, I do. It's there, there are a little more difficult, you know, and I can't even like, I feel like when I have one, I'm like, yeah, I gotta remember this position, so I can do it again. Right, exactly. I don't even remember.

I remember it. Right, I know. Right, since this magic thing happened, that's what we love to understand. Like, it's not easy. It moves. It must move. It's moving, she's not.

Someone adds to it, like, might she stop being the back? I'm like, I don't think it moved. But that's so true. But when you're doing a scene, so you were just tightwit like early on when you did 20 scenes in 20 days. Yeah, or something like that. Did you, and you're like, I just wanted to, you know, does that mean that you were always having pleasure with the people you're with? Were you having, or it was all?

Yeah, I mean, I can, and I can, you come easily. Yeah, I guess I come pretty easily. And you enjoy it. It's just sometimes a bad thing in porn. You know, like wait, wait for me. Yeah, yeah, because I get like so tense and stuff, you know. Can you hold it. Which is sometimes a bad thing in porn. Do you know what I'm saying? Wait, wait, wait for it. Yeah, yeah, because I get so tense and stuff, you know. Can you hold it if you learn to hold it? Yeah, yeah, I think over time. Yeah, it's like, you know, spiders develop those cauliflower around the ears. Right.

And people play guitar and get calluses and you know, you know, you're a giant, I'll learn that. You're a giant, wait for it. It's like going under water holding your breath. Okay, hold this orgasm. That's amazing. So now you've learned a ton about sex, right? Yeah, and you're in a relationship, though. I am.

I am a very happy relationship. It took a while to get there and a lot of it had to do is, you know, just having confidence and loving yourself. I really, I like to talk to other women about this stuff because I was a mess when I was younger. You know, like I was a very, very not confident. And you're in a 30's or a 35. Yeah, 35. Right.

I was so insecure when I was like 18 years old. Like I was, I didn't even like want to be naked in the shower. You know, like I would like take my clothes off and put clothes right back on afterwards. It was uncomfortable with my body. Like I was not born with the thing I have now. You know, I had to really change myself and really work on myself. How was the first steps of that? That's really interesting. Well, I think, yeah, I don't know.

So you had that orgasm with the guy. Yeah, that's a good motivator. Yeah, I know. I mean, really master reading helped me and just, I don't know, I wasn't happy and comfortable in my own skin and I think I just, I knew that was a problem and I wanted to change it. Like, I made a conscious effort to change it. A lot of it was, you know, reading books and stuff by women that were strong and powerful and very sexually, you know, like Tristan Termino or like Nina Hartley at the time.

And I would go to lectures and stuff. New York City had a really big scene for stuff like that. So speaking of, I was a nerd, you know, if I had a problem, there was a book that had an answer. That's an amazing, I tell people that all the time I'm like, listen to podcasts, like read books, like, yeah. And now it's so easy to, there's so much information going on in my web site.

I believe we've answered your question in a blog, a post, a podcast, or, you know, it is true, but that's to be curious and to be open to keep learning about it, and to keep reading and be inspired. And it's funny, you said, New York, I actually will be in New York for the sexual health expo September 24th and 25th, I'll be in Brooklyn and it's a big expo. You guys go to our website click on the The She-Banner and you can get tickets. I think it's like the first two thousand tickets are free

I don't know if we've gone through two thousand yet But like top sex educators are gonna be there around the country like speaking on like workshops for two days So yeah, like stuff like that really. I'm definitely saying. And these are like top sex educators that I've learned from, but you're right. It's like find that information like seek it. And then now you're right. It's not just books if you learn by listening, you learn by watching videos like. Yeah. It's out there. Yeah, and I just kind of like acknowledge like this is a problem. I'm not happy. I need to change it. And I think also just like I was starting to feel like pathetic. I would get these relationships with these guys

and they would just like totally break my heart and I'd be so devastated. Like so devastated. I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. And I was like, what am I doing? I'm like completely letting men you know to eat my life. Like I'm like not showing up to class because some guy doesn't want to date me. Like, I just kind of had to snap out of it one day. I'm like, I need to be happy by myself. You know, I need to be happy in my own skin. I need to be wake up in the morning and just like, I don't know.

I just knew something that is the change. That is so how, no, that is the healthiest. This is what hurts me when I, you know when women are just feel that like they do And that's it's true, and it's like it's just it's and usually we feel that devastation believe me I've we've all gone through that it's like because we feel we're already feeling maybe not great about Ourself esteem we don't even realize like a negative things and then so for guys It's cooperating and saying right. I don't want to be with you You're like, well, see, no, nobody else is lovable. And it's not even about that person. It's about you. So I always say,

like, after a breakup or even before you get into like a series of, because I used to be a serial monogamous, I'm like, I just need to have a loan, like, and not that. It's important to really give you yourself out. You got to that type of figure yourself out. But we're so addicted to that cycle of being in a relationship in the honeymoon phase. It's society's fault. Everything is like geared towards couples. You know what I mean? Like everything everywhere makes it seem like you need to have this. Right, but you don't. This thing.

You don't need it, but I think you're better suited for one once you figure out your own stuff. And you know what you want. Yeah. Because we get into relationships a lot of times when we're younger at all ages, just because there's an attraction or there's sexy. But if you really know, like, no, I want a guy who treats me well or who has a good job or is great and bad open Actually makes me happy. We like do the same things whatever it is right and you got to figure that out

Because then you'll go out guys and we go he doesn't meet any of these things that I need exactly And you won't spend six months with them I think a lot of women forget the whole purpose of sharing a life with someone Whether it's another woman or a man or whatever, they're supposed to make you happy. You're supposed to make each other happy. I think a lot of women get in this mindset where they're like, I need to show them that I'm this.

I need to show them that I'm this. I need to do this. It's like a job application. Right. And I'm going to provide all this stuff. And I'm supposed to be a connection. Right. I know so many people.

How would you meet your boyfriend? Um, I, um, I, um, I needed to teach to you on a pretty company. Right. Ironically, I met him during my boyfriend. Yeah, on the phone. Yeah, I've been to the first 10 years ago. I know. It's a, it could have been your boyfriend.

Damn it. Damn it. You already got him when he's a good one. Um, but yeah, I ordered t-shirts for him and then I have talked to him as just a customer for a while. Right. And then I don't know at some point. And then you guys are putting together. Yes. Wow. I love it. I love it. I love it. For four years. That's amazing. Yeah. That's good. Well, you've seen good your business booming. I love that. I love that you're here. Um, this is fun. I know,

right? Yeah, let's see what your, what your viewers or your listeners have to say. Um, this is fun. I know, right? Yeah, let's see what your, what your viewers or your listeners have to say. Yeah, I want to, yeah, please, we need to help them. We, we, we want to, so let's keep going. Let's get into a little bit of sex in the news and we'll get some emails. Okay, so school, some friends will use 3D models of the clitoris in sex education classes, which I think is amazing because I mean, did you have said obviously, did you have sex education? We're like talking about barely. Right, yeah, barely. They're like, I don't even remember. Like here's the baby.

I barely, barely. Like the uterus. It was nothing that seemed useful to me, and you might get your period. But there are many useful things people wish they learned during sex ed, like what consent actually looks like, and whether it's healthier, shave your pubic hair than to keep it intact. So, exactly. So, exactly. So, now French school children will learn about female pleasure with the most pragmatic guide of all,

a 3D printed model of the clitoris. And it's so interesting because, so the scientist, Philo, he has educational sculptures to teach the biology of female pleasure. And he says, women get erections when they're excited, only you can't see them because most of the clitoris is internal.

So I want to show men, and I want to show that men and women are not fundamentally different. So this is pretty out there. I mean, I love we're saying in Europe, there's so much for I hope, and you know, and this is so, I love it though, because I didn't even know that. Like that, that it's kind of under the people. These are like primary and secondary grades.

So probably like middle school and high school. It's a sexist stigma. It's often keep people from exploring the biology if female pleasure or even female anatomy in general, which is what I wish I learned in sex ad. So an American teacher in Michigan, Ryan Front, was fired for saying the word vagina during an art history lecture,

like just like this year, yep. So, and also this mentality repetuates sexual inequality, the fact that straight women have fewer orgasms than their male partners. So they think this guy is like, I'm just gonna teach it without shame. And, but he even says that France has a reputation for being sexually sophisticated,

but often it's about male sexuality, which is what most things were on male sexuality. So how cool is that? Because I always say well it has eight thousand nerve endings and it's not just your clitoris when we talk about masturbation and pleasure. It's like it is internal it does swell it is like the you know the the the legs of the clitoris and the there's just so much going on there we said it's easier sometimes when you have a clitoral orgasm because that it's easier to have a G-spot orgasm or annually get pleasure. So I love that he's like showing like this is it's not just the little button. Yeah,

makes me happy. That's really amazing. Should be doing that here. I mean, yeah, people don't know that it's like a penis that like swells. So sex that they're actually teaching they're going to blow out to enjoy sex. Yeah, not just, yeah, enjoy sex not just not just have not have kids but there like here's the clippers we're gonna I mean I want to like hear that around where I go I want to get like a blow it up or something I can send them my flashlight yeah

I can use the flashlight I know why he spent all this time building 3 days 3 days I want your flashlight do we have I want it I don't know why he spent all this time building. Is it three days? Is it three days of flesh? Is it three days of flesh? I want your flesh like, do we have, I want it. I'll bring one. Okay, so everyone can buy your flesh like too, flesh like,

or my website, click on the banner or you have a flesher.com. Yeah, flesher.com. I've got one. That's awesome. Oh my god, you molded it and all that stuff. Yeah, just do that, just do that, just get you in a flesh like you or you do that.

Yeah, just get my flesh like we can do that. Exactly. Exactly, to the high school in France, apparently. She's good business too. Right, I love that idea. Okay, so now we're going to get into the emails. I'm so glad you're here. We're going to help people and we're going to give a little shout out to our sponsor, so thanks for supporting them and we'll be right back.

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Hey, why not? Lay it on today. Okay, everyone, thanks for listening to the show. Hello, Joanna Angel. Awesome co-host today. I'm having fun. I know. Doesn't even feel like we're actually working here.

Right? That's the business model here. We're just getting coffee. Exactly. We're getting coffee and talking about anal sex. Now, right now, we're going to talk about sexual fetishes. So Thank you for emailing me first of all and you know you can email me at feedback at sex with Emily dot com

But you can also easily ask it right from the website the ask Emily button and now we're taking your voicemails 818 ask SW1. That's 818 275 7931 we're getting great calls. It's really fun. You'll hear that next time. Next time. Okay, so here's our first email. Hey Emily, first of all, I think you're absolutely gorgeous, but you knew that. Aw, thank you.

I'm single and dating, mostly online dating, and a lot of women will ask me, usually on a first date, what I'm into sexually, especially whether or not I'm a boob or buck guy. I have a mild foot fetish, and in most of my previous relationships, I never really had to tell my partner I would just slowly introduce it in the bedroom, and they would always be on board with it because by that time, we already liked each other. This isn't something I feel comfortable talking about on a first date, and fortunately,

every girl so far thinks it's pretty normal. I wanted to ask if you are on a date with me and asked me that question and I gave a vanilla answer but then later on in the bedroom I introduced it or mentioned it if you would feel that you were lied to. Thanks Emily you rock Paul age 34 Connecticut. So Paul to break this down here he says that he's got a foot finish so we know that I think a foot finish like he requires a foot to be present for him to have an orgasm, sexual satisfaction.

But without like dating, if people are asking me, he's like, I don't want to just bust it out, like when I've never met the person. So he's saying if we went out of first date and he's like, what are you into? And he didn't answer, but then in the bedroom, he was like, show me your feet. Like he wants to know like, what's the best process

for that, what I think he was lying. I don't think that you should lead on the first date necessarily but what do you think is you're more also into like the King fetish world than I know yeah I'll I mean but he's does something he's dating I mean dating is is a tough thing anyway it's like you're sitting down with a person and you never met yeah and you're both kind of thinking like are we gonna have sex with each other right right? Like do I want to wear the name? That's all sex at this person. We're not looking at the menu.

Yeah, we're just like, is this someone I might wanna have sex with or not? That's at the end of the day, what you do. Right. Right. Which is awkward enough as it is and then to bring in like a fetish, you know, can make it more awkward.

I mean, that really all depends on the person. Exactly. If you just start talking about sex sex then bring it up, you know But I wouldn't be like hey like do you want to order the salmon or the chicken? Right. Oh by the way, I like feet right exactly. I wouldn't just I would see if you're talking about sex anyway Then then bring it up, but I think feet You shouldn't be embarrassed, you know, like it's not like, like you'd have to be kind of in a heavy moment with someone if you're going to get to that point

anyway, like, like it's not like if you're making out with someone, you're going to start talking about your foot fetish, you know, like you'd have to be like, I think it is sometimes better. I don't think that it's something that he necessarily feels that he has to bring up over lunch or with dinner. He feels like he's ashamed of it or something. Like, there's something wrong with him and he needs to get it off his chest. Exactly.

Like, I got to tell him right away. He's on the STD. Exactly. Which you should tell before you have sex with him. Right. But I feel like if you're with the right person, he says he's had success in the past and nobody freaks out. So I think just like you would in the past,

if it comes up and it's like in a clinical way, like you're at lunch with a date, she's like, so what are you in just actually? I mean, see if she seems like a cool chick, like I think you're going to know what to do. You can say that you like to experiment, explore your open trying new things, you know, your open. But if this is your thing and you need it, like you're like, oh, I'm really into feeling I can't wait to see your thing give you a full massage. I mean, that could fit for you just drop it suddenly. Then she's not even the one that you want to be with. Exactly.

You could drop it suddenly and be like, oh, you have beautiful feet. I'd love to give you a foot rub. Yeah, exactly. Something like that. Drop it there. That's a subtle hand. And if she's like, ew, growls now. And I'll like it when people touch my feet.

Right. Then you're going to know. Then you might know, like, okay. Because it doesn't have to happen to know stinger than lay down. Exactly. But he doesn't want it. And he says every girl is just like, yeah, I think he's fine. I think you've got to feel this out.

That he's overthinking it. Yeah. You know, just let it come. Yeah. It'll come naturally. You'll know the right time. You'll know if it's the right person. It'll come naturally.

And he knows everything. I don't tell, I mean, I'm not like, I really want you to, you know, if I'm sitting down with you, I like, you need to spank me. Like, if we even had sex, yeah. Yeah. I think you're feeling like you're withholding this major thing. This is something that you're into. Like, it's fine. Yeah, you I think you're feeling like you're withholding this major thing

This is something that you're into like it's fine. I don't think that you nothing wrong with the French Nothing wrong that we're all good about. Yeah, there's something wrong with the person that's grossed out by your food She doesn't know that this is my This isn't like the level of like a pea fetish, which I mean, I don't have a problem with pea fetish But there's gonna be a lot of people that you know that's something you have to level of people. But there's going to be a lot of people that, you know, that's something you have to ease into depending on the person. And there's a lot of things actually. I don't know if you find this. Who does it like

for faking rugs? I would like to find data. I should say this. I'm just like, give me a foot massage every day. Like, I'm just so down with your foot fetish. But I think like just so sex, there's people who aren't into anal. There's women who don't like receiving or giving oral sex insane for men. There's men who don't. So it just so sex there's people who aren't into anal there's women who don't like receiving or giving oral sex and saying for men There's men who don't so it's like there's all not there's not a one-size-fits-all sexual Men that we all fitting all want the same thing so you'll find that groove with someone So I like that you're owning it and you've had success in the past and you'll continue have success so Don't trip on it Paul. We're with you here. We got your back. Yeah. Okay. Dear Emily, my boyfriend I've been together for three years

He is 25 and I am 22. We have an active sex life and are very open and communicative in our relationship in both sexual and non-sexual ways He's very good about listening to and doing the things I like and I do the same for him I'm bisexual and I enjoy being with women So we've tossed around the idea of having a threesome with another woman. We're both excited and in favor of this idea, but the problem is we don't know where to start. I have been involved in threesome before, but as a third person, and it wasn't planned. Any advice would be fantastic as we're both a little lost on the matter, Elizabeth, from Central Valley, California.

She's 22. So, and you have threesome's, right? New relationship, you guys Valley, California. She's 22. So and you have three sums, right? You know what I'm saying? You guys are right. So I thought, what do you, I mean, I always say there's different sites, start meeting like people in your town. Like there's like bookstore, like everything like good vibrations or there's a place in line, but it was hard because the best three sums really are at planned. That's so true. And nobody wants to hear that answer. I know I'm so sorry. I think it's right. It's so true. best three sims are like a friend. We're not attached.

Everyone's I've talked about that, but like I think but she's got to do it. It's gotta be she's got to be a person. She it's gotta be about her. If sometimes when couples are looking for it together, it can come off creepy. If you're not in the right environment, if you're at a swingers party or something like that, then it's totally different. That's kind of like a little bit.

They're in central Valley, I'm trying to think what's there for pay parties. Yeah, I think she's gotta just, if she says she's into women, she's gotta turn it on, turn it out. Oh, sure. You guys could be at dinner, go to a bar, and I mean, this could maybe see,

but if you start talking to a woman Like you can kind of like how have you guys done it? I mean you probably we kind of live in a world You got like people living in that world Okay, so I always say this to our sir right you're like they let some people that they're waiting to line up your house right now Yeah, but really the the best three sims are not planned and there are there are definitely Girls all the time that tell us, you know, like, hey, I really want to have a three-some of you guys.

And you know, but the ones that we've had that have been, you know, the most fun have just been like, just kind of happened, you know. Right, right, but they might not, but Lizbeth might not be having people over her house that are just like, so I'm thinking like also like there are the sides. She is into women She's got to turn that on she's got a good girl out like she's a single lesbian girl Right right right there's got to be Her voice is going to be out of the equation let her That's gonna vote and maybe the girl just wants to fuck her

Maybe the girl wants to fuck both of them you know and the her boyfriend's got to be okay with the fact that this is she's the bisexual one She's the one with an interest in women She might find a woman that only wants to be with her and he could just kind of sit and watch her He could hear about it the next day or he can be in the next room or whatever, you know This is more about her exploring her right Bisexual side exactly and not not not that shutting it down I mean there are sites people talk about like what are the sites like Fettlife and Casper? Right.

And stuff like that. And what's it? Put it out. The adult friend finder. But you just also I think the it's gonna be more fun. It's more fun. It's more fun if you meet someone that just a real connection. Yeah, go out and you know, turn your turn your turn your rate on it. Turn it on. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's fun because it's more natural. You haven't explored Yeah, it's fine. Turn it down for a while. I think it's fun because then it's more natural. If you haven't explored that in a long time, just go ahead and do it. Perfect. Okay.

We have fun in the process. Yeah, have fun. Like, flirting again. But also make sure they have boundaries. Like, he might say it or I don't, if you meet someone tonight, I don't want you going home and having sex without me because that would be cheating. So just make sure you guys have your boundary set before the three so. Yeah, no one it is. It's fun. Yeah.

Just get messy. Exactly. You want any messy three soms? Yeah. Yeah, I have. You know sometimes sometimes someone's just not on the same page, you know. Right. Like what about right like they want more or less? Yeah, like like they like they have ulterior motives You know, right they want to be with your boyfriend. Yeah, I want to be with you more What about

What about like positions for three sums like stuff that you do to three some other like certain people have never had a Three so it's like fast like how does it work? I know I three some other like certain people have never had a three so it's like fast like how does it work I know I know I um I'm so what are the best positions for tips for three sets you know like I always keep always ask me I don't know yeah I know I know it's just gonna clear it out there's a few minutes you suck it there's a giant to the butt you put things in it yeah and you definitely can't you shouldn't have it three some of it's gonna be like,

oh, you were fucking her for three minutes. Now, I need three minutes or this or that. A lot of times with me and my boyfriend have three sums. Like me and my boyfriend have sex all the time. So I like want the two of them to have more sex than me and him. Why should a third person sit there while me and my boyfriend are having sex?

And you don't have the jealousy. No, no, no, not when it's the right girl. So you really did you ever with him at the beginning? No, no, I never did. But it's got to be about the right other person. There's definitely girls that have made me feel a little uncomfortable. But he's very like, OK, we're not going to mess around

with her. And I know that I know a lot of times girls, they don't do that on purpose, you know? There's just sometimes just the wrong look or the wrong feeling, and I'm like, are there like jealous or they just try to compete maybe? Yeah, or, you know, sometimes people

just aren't on the same page, you know? I remember we had a good friend, and she's still a good friend of mine, so I'm not even saying anything bad about it. But I think she, she was in it. It's just different. I don't even think me and my boyfriend are in an open relationship.

And we don't have friends that are in open relationships. And when you're in an open relationship, the two people, they have other boyfriends. They have other girlfriends. It's very complicated. It is very complicated. They start talking about it. I'm like, I don't know how you make this work.

More power to you that you do, but I just don't understand it. But we're not like that. And so I think because we're in porn, and because we do have threesome sometimes, and we're not very rigid. I think she assumed we were in an open relationship, too. And when I wasn't home, she like tried like making out with him and stuff. And then when I found out about it, I was so angry and so offended. I know she didn't mean to do it. But she didn't

know. You know, so we had to kind of just like explain everything. And I'm sure to an average person is like, how could that be weird to you when your boyfriend does porn? Right. Well, it's different. Exactly. No, I get it. I get it. So the boundaries. Now, you know, she wanted to have a threesome with her. And after that happened, I was like, OK, I just need a little bit. I just need a couple of weeks to, you know, I feel weird right now. Good.

But you have to be honest. You do have to be honest. There's no way you can determine what's going to be OK. And what's not going to be OK. So it's not like a formula we're giving you for a three-sym but we're saying like you need this position that but you're gonna know and it is kind of an organic thing like my first three-sym I didn't know I'd never had one but I'm kind of remember my first one that's how I've had that you really ample but it's kind of

it's it is three and you kind of like just get off of your person getting off yeah exactly you can't be like oh no you can't be like thinking about right like he's hardly he's with her for three you're right you really can't be like, oh no, you can't be like self-suffering. Thinking about, right, like he's hardly, he's with her for the right, you really can't, but it is just feel like a dance when, and I think when it feels like a dance. It just sort of flows when you're not so in your head and you're just paying attention to what's happening and your body and the moment and all that stuff.

So I think that's good. My boyfriend really gets off on me being with other women, so that definitely helps. So we have had, it is. We've had three Sims before. He's barely involved and he's so happy. You know, he's like, I think he likes it more. Right.

He thinks it's so hot, you know, which is great. And then I get turned on by being like, oh, yeah, he really likes this. And I happen to really like women anyway. So it works out. You guys are like perfect couple. Oh, my God. So when you're with a woman in a threesome,

are you more dominant? Are you dismissing? I do tend to be pretty dominant with women. I don't know why. Not with men. No, not really. Maybe because you're the one who works for you. Yeah, I don't know.

You're like, I don't want to be dominant. Are you all right? Yeah. I've gotten moods sometimes. I want to be dominant. You want to be over it? I've gotten moods sometimes. I want to be dominant. I agree. It's a mood thing. Yeah, it's the most part.

You know, I just like to be taken for a ride. Right, right. Right. It's a lot more work now. It's nice. It's fun. You get to find it. People ask me for dominant sex scenes sometimes.

So I've shot a couple and I'm always like, man, this is so much work. Right. Being dominant. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. They're like, what do I do right? How do I do it? It is a lot of work. It's a lot of work, you know. But you can pull it off. Okay, our next question is about Aral Sachs, which is a very important topic. One of my favorites. Okay, hi Emily. I've been with my girlfriend for just over a year, and things are going great. I've been with a girlfriend for just over a year and things are going great.

Wait, I've been with girlfriend for a year and things are going great and we also have great sex. Awesome. My girlfriend is very sexy to me, but she's a little self-conscious and she's a few pounds over an ideal weight. I really, really love going down in her and up until very recently she wouldn't let me perform

or all sex on her for very long. One night, she had a few drinks and let me go down in her until she came. And she opened, and now she's opened up to the idea of me going down to her more frequently. I would like to build on this a bit. There are two activities. I have some experience in and fantasize about regularly. One is her sitting on my face to the point of orgasm, and the other would be orally stimulating her ass. With her being self-conscious and also just beginning to feel more comfortable receiving oral in general, I wonder what recommendations you might have to broach the subject or to introduce these activities into our rotation.

People are so specific. You're like, what? Her face was like, wait, there's two. Thank you very much for your guidance. I love the podcast, Mike H28 Canada. I mean, thank you, Mike. Would it be so difficult to just be like sit on my face?

Right, I think you're so right. Pull her up to your face. Is that the horrible advice? No, I mean, honestly, I feel like if I've ever started and I'd say sit on my, I would never turn that down. I know, wait, you're not every woman. I'm not alone, but the truth is Is I think you're kind with a lot of these things you just kind of with confidence like sit on my face

And in the moment she might say no Yeah, but are you gonna you know my other thing would be like you could talk about the things that you both want to try and then bring it up But you're right in the moment just be like sit on my face. Yeah, just in the moment when she's already aroused, you know, Yeah, just be like that. I feel like if you bring it up out, you know, during dinner, whatever it's like, Right. She might overthink it, especially like she's doing on confidence. Yeah, so maybe in the moment, she was a little buzz that time and she had orgasm because I also want to point out like the gaining weight thing. I'm wondering if that's

His issue or her issue. Because he did. It sounds like he brought it up a few times. And I'm not sure. He just kept saying she had an orgasm, but she just, he said what he wanted to do with you. He said that she's gaining weight lately.

She's not at her ideal weight. And I think he thought that she was kind of not one, you know, it is when you feel like you gain different pounds, you don't wanna have sex. So I think he felt that she pulled back a little bit, then she got a little buzz and had this thing. So I'm not sure that like she needs to feel feel sexy in her own body because that's how she's gonna enjoy sex. But if she's self-conscious, she's never gonna be able to like let go. So I'm not sure again if she did let go and said orgasm with your

old sex, I think we're fine. Yeah, you know, make her feel sexy. Make her feel like you're into it. And then as far as the ass thing, I mean, you could try it with a finger first. Like if you've never done any ass play, like you could just try like, like, like it. Yeah, like it going down on her just move down a little bit. That's true too. When she's on your face, like, I think you could turn around. Yeah. Something. So I would just start. I mean, honestly, around. Yeah, something.

So I would just start, I mean, honestly, I don't eat something. Like you guys are pretty open. You've been together for over a year. I should just flip her over. Just try it. Yeah. And you could say I really want to like, like, your ass. Yeah, I feel like your ass looks so good.

But that's why I always say sometimes go slower. Maybe he just wants, if he's never, ever touched it, he could just like, yeah, he could start kissing it or kissing like her back bow and working down. He's the tongue at first and he's don't go all the way in tongue around the round. He just around and see how he's feeling. Yeah she might she might really like it. I know I think that she'll get on your face have a few orgasm then she'll just be putting your hands flipper over. Yeah this is good. There's change in the world here. Say sit on my face. Right I think the world here say sit on my face. Right. I think we have yeah, it's puller over on your face Oh, yeah, I'm trying to think like how is it happened me like it wasn't like we had a blueprint like it 906

You're going to send my face like set up my face like okay. Yeah, and sometimes I would say no if I didn't feel like it I think I know but mostly I'm like down Here's the other things so many people are like, I tried it once. My partner said, no, or I asked once and he didn't do it. Listen to you, people, changing behaviors, or getting someone to try something new is not a one time question thing. Just because you don't feel rejected from your partner because you asked once

or because you got it, it's not a process. So she might, like, like, here's the thing, Mike, she might say no the first time, and she would be like, I don't want to sit in her face, but that doesn't mean that it's no forever. I think that if you want to assume make these assumptions assumptions she might not be comfortable that night. Yeah, but there might be another time We're like, I really would you want to sit on my you know, so just don't people get all good on that Good time to Anna. We know it's fun. It's a pleasure

Okay, thank you. He really wants to Thank you. He really wants to. I know. It's really sweet. And it's so hot when it really wants to. It is. You're like, why wouldn't she want to? But if she's feeling insecure, but he makes her feel sexy and desired and, you know, you

still desire her mic, of course. So, people who are overweight are allowed to have orgasms, you know. Exactly. Exactly. You'll lose the way you can work on that. You can lose the way, but keep having orgasms. You're right. Keep having orgasms in the process.

You don't have to make a choice of one or the other. Exactly. People delay so much stuff. Like when I lose five pounds, when I this happens, like don't delay anything in life. Like you just have to live your life. Keep it in mind what's going to happen. Right.

Good advice. Hey Emily, I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years. I used to love giving blow jobs, but my boyfriend takes forever. This is like lots of O's and lots of E's and lots of ours. He takes forever to finish, which isn't a bad thing, but my poor jaw starts to hurt and cramp up. And while giving him head is become a chore, and I now avoid all around, I avoid it all around. I know I'm good at it from experience. I need help. Elizabeth

25 lost angeles. We get a lot of emails from women who are like I like it But I'm exhausted. I don't know if I do a good job So I feel like a lot of women think they just have to like use their mouth the whole time when they have their tongue They have their hands you can use lube you can like mix it up, you know Your job. Why does she feel the need that she has to blow him to completion? You know, I don't do that very well. That's true. That's a good point.

You could just blow him for four times. Blow him for a while and then hop on there. Exactly. No, that's a good point too. He might, some guys do just take forever. Yeah. And it's okay, but right, does he need you, if he really wants to like, come in your mouth

or something and that's the thing, you could blow him, start having sex and he's about to come, you could come in your mouth or something and that's the thing you could blow him start having sex And he's about to come you can come in your mouth. Yeah, a lot of guys Especially if he's been having sex with her for a while. Why would he want three years? Yeah, why would he want to come from a blow job? That's a good point. I mean some guys do maybe she's like on her period as I want to sex Which I don't understand either but I know a lot of women are like that But I feel like you're being hard on yourself here, but if you really do just want to do it because you just want to do it I'd say use your hands, use your tongue, do you even like blowjob?

Like your favorite blowjob tips are like every time I this is what I do like I feel like you might know start your way around the penis Like thing, I do you know the snake charmer thingy? No, tell me everything. Break it down. Break it down. It seems like this is what most guys like. And I actually, in all honesty, anyone can know it who watches a lot of my scenes. Like I'm a horrible deep throeder. I've tried everything. You know, this is good.

I really don't know how to do it. Like I give it my all. Right. I think it's the same. I'm also horrible at taking shots. And I think it comes from the same place in your throat. I have two. You know, I can't shoot.

Take that. But a lot of, I don't know if they're just trying to make me feel better, but a lot of guys have told me that the deep-thuring doesn't actually feel that good. It just looks cool. It's kind of, you know, sometimes guys get off because they're like, whoa, this girl can put my whole dick in her mouth. Exactly. That's exciting.

So they're kind of getting off on how it looks. But they're not going to put the actual feeling. I find that what most... Stay charmer, go on the most. Yeah, where you just, you get the dick like really wet, you know, and then you just use both of your hands and you like twist them around like a cork screw. Right, both going different ways.

Yeah, going different ways. Up and down. Yeah, up and down, yeah. Yeah, right, and your mouth doesn't have Yeah, up and down, yeah. Yeah. Right, and your mouth doesn't have to be, you can put your mouth on the tip if your mouth is tight. Yeah, I put your mouth on the tip. So your hands are going like, they're both hands on the penis. Yeah, I'm going to get a really, really wet.

Yeah, usually a lot of my blow jobs are 70% hand jobs. Right, every blow job is an orphaned hand job anyway, right? I start with my mouth, you know, just to get it really, really wet, you know, and then I just like, basically, I think the most sensitive part of the penis is on the tip, right? Yeah, well, it's a tip and then the frendylam, which is the little, the part, the ridge on the bottom side right beneath the tip. Yeah. The tip is the most sensitive and then the frendylam.

Right, so but yeah, the tip is using a lot of tongue and just your mouth on the tip and hands. Exactly. Exactly. Lick around the tip with jaw will knock get tired and use your hands going in separate. We should do a video showing with the hands. We're gonna put this on Instagram, a little video showing that.

It seems to work a lot. I even noticed if I'm doing a sex scene with a guy who's kind of having a rough day and he doesn't have a direction, like immediately if I do that on almost anyone for a couple of minutes, it usually wakes up. It usually wakes up just because what do you think is because the pressure and the two hands are your way ahead. I usually wakes up just because what do you think it is?

It's because it's the pressure. And it's the two hands. Oh, you're right. I don't know what it is. You know, there's a snake charm. Yeah, that's what my boyfriend calls it because of the snake. Oh, my God. So any penis will wake up in your hands

when you get to snake charm. Yeah, I've had it. I mean, knock on wood. Right. Right. Like, knock on wood. You know, because it happens. Sometimes important guys are just having a bad day.

It's a stressful job. It is stressful. Very stressful job. So I've noticed that if I ever do that if I'm like a fuck and everyone's already got that look on their face like all right You're like bring out the same time. Yeah, I'm just like wait wait wait I got everybody just calm down I got this. I got it. Everybody just calmed down. That word is every time, but it's just simple. Okay, check out.

We're going to do a video of this. This is great. What about any other tips like that that I need to know when we need to know about the penis or the vagina? Like what about an oral sex tip? I'm going down a women's trick that works a lot for you. I think for women, I feel like women, you just have to find their spot. And the spot is either on the outside or it's on the inside. I think for women, I feel like women, you just have to find their spot.

And the spot is either on the outside or it's on the inside. Meal or G-spot. Yeah, right. And so I think with women, if there's spots on the outside, you kind of just, you gotta just feel around and when the girl starts getting excited, just stay there. Stay on that spot. Stay on that spot. Whatever it is, just don't move.

Yeah, just stop then get harder. And you know, on the inside, I find it like, usually if you kind of curve your fingers a little bit. Right, do you kind of reach in there? Like you'll find, you'll just find it. You find it, you find it. You'll just find it. The worst thing is when someone finds it and they leave,

you know, right. Where'd you go? Yeah, like what are you doing? Right, that was good. That was on the other side. Right, exactly. Starting all over. Which kind of be moaning and screaming, this is the most communication that sometimes guys

we're not paying attention. So maybe it felt good. This isn't a sex scene where we need three positions. Right, go back. You could say, also if you're, if you've experienced as you could say, Bay that felt so good what you were doing a second ago. I just straight up say I'm like if guy's or a girl is doing a good job and then they move, you're like, no, go back.

I'll say that. I love that you're just so, because you're like really these people are the units to do it. They're the same. There is something to that though. No, but I don't think it's that's how I'm the same way. I'm like, do this, do that. But it's because that's how we've been.

You've had a lot of it comes from to go about you from confidence. Like you can't, you don't really have it in you to say that stuff until you're confident. Right. And you could also just try it and see how it goes even if you don't feel confident. Yeah.

And I think you'll be happy because I know that I hear from men and women, they're like, I just want to know what he wants. She wants. So that's a way of saying what you want. You know what a relief that is like, first of all, what is the drawback to saying, go back to that spot that felt good?

Your partner's trying to please you. They didn't move to like be mean. They weren't like moving from your hotspot. Or if you say that moment, wow, that felt good over there or get back over there, they're psyched. They know what to do. I know. So to say, I think being honest is important.

I really, I know that for years, I was giving really horrible blow jobs that just took the right person to be like, hey, that doesn't feel good. Okay, so tell me about, I get these, okay, what was the horrible job? And it was really traumatizing when it was happening, you know, but- See, we get these emails a lot, so what was the horrible blow job? Can you give me example what you're doing? I'm trying to think, I think I was just kind of putting my mouth on it and not really moving around. No pressure, no suction. You also know this was before, like things are so easy to find out now.

No, I didn't watch any porn. I didn't really have friends. I could ask. I didn't talk to my girlfriends about sex. I just didn't. I don't know why. I think I was jealous that they were having it and I wasn't. So I just didn't want to hear about it.

Right. No, but then you learn. You can get better at it. Yeah, I think it always took me out. I felt like I just kind of put my mouth on there and didn't really do very much or I didn't use my hands. I didn't really get it. That's our big right.

How would you? I don't know. Like it's a blow. Like it's a blow. Yeah, I don't know. What do I do? No one tells. Right.

And so yeah, I just took someone being like, that's just as can you do this? It doesn't feel good what you're doing Someone being honest with me, but I'd be honest. Yeah, how's it supposed now? I don't have a dick right? We don't know I Went down on a woman it made sense cuz I was like oh I'm just gonna do to this person what I would do to myself that makes sense to me that was really easy, right? What did I know right? It's so easy to find, you know, find things out now.

Right, it's true. It's like, it was like the, like I was a caveman or something, or when you're around it. Right. When I was giving blow-dops to people before Twitter. Right, right. Pre-twitter guys, it did. It wasn't always around.

Yeah. Podcasts, when it was around. Right. How would you know? You're right. I wanted to do it forever. I mean, I remember my first one. I was like six to eight braces. And my boyfriend at the time was like, I would them for a year

and you want to blow up so bad. I'm like, I'm getting them off next week. And he like, I remember my first one. He just made me do it. I'd break his like, I know. I know. Yeah, I would put my like, I think somebody, I heard somebody say don't use your teeth.

So I put my mouth completely over my teeth. Right. I don't know what I was doing. Right. I really didn't know. But you learned you get feedback. So that's why it's good to give feedback. Check out my site, check out Joanna giving actual blow jobs and our site or everyone else

giving blow jobs on your site. Use your hands. Use your hands. Yeah. It's fine. It's fine to use your hands, right? Right. How do you call balls?

I like licking balls just like occasionally. Yeah, that's the whole time. That's the whole time. That's the whole time time just like you visit them once once every three minutes Right, I forgot about that. Yeah, I had a really bad experience once like I was like I hit someone's balls I always felt like my post-traumatic ball disorder phase where I was like I like just pretend they didn't exist I was like I block them out of my mind and the family is complicated really what do I do with that? I don't know Right softly, and it's almost like it's like those Ben Wal-Balls you put your hand You gently hold them and then you show one guy showed me like I was like oh and I'm like okay This one you can put him in your mouth. Yes lightly suck them in like but not all the time like then I forget it

I'm like oh shit the balls It's like I've shed a calendar like to revisit them right I've been to balls every right the third Tuesday of every month Okay, we got what well, we're questions. Awesome. Hi Emily, usually I wouldn't ask anyone for help. Typical guy, I can fix it. But anyway. You get more men writing in the next spectrum.

Yeah, we know a lot of men. Yeah, at least all men say we get some women, but yeah, we get a lot of men and women. But men, they don't talk to them. Yeah, it's so nice to know they really care about pleasing women. Yeah, that's what the questions are about. They all want to know how to please, or they're worried about their penis.

They're fine with their penis guns. Penicides is fine. Okay, Emily, usually I would ask a typical guy, I think I can fix it. Anyway, I'm engaged in our sex life blows and not in the good way. She doesn't give head, doesn't receive head, doesn't do anal, doesn't want to try anything new

in the bedroom. So it's basically either I'm on top or she's on top. Me personally, I'm into a lot of things and I'm up to try new things. Plus, outside the bedroom, I don't get to show any affection. The only time I get to show an affection is the time she decides I'm good enough to have sex with.

My phrasing, not hers. I'm just lost and what to do. I feel like I'm the guy she needs around to help with our kids. Lately, I've been wondering if she's cheating anything would help Tristan age 29 Illinois and they're engaged and they have kids and he's 29 and they're having the sex life seems abysmal. So it sounds like it's just gonna get worse. Yeah, that's my concern. I was gonna say if you're not married, then don't get married. Yeah, I was gonna say, how are you gonna feel? You know, like...

There's a lot of work here. I mean, because if, if you can't even get this far, I don't know. Exactly. Like, she's not into anything you're into and you're just gonna be frustrated and what I don't like here. And then he might wind up cheating eventually. You know, that's not what you're gonna say.

And then, oh, it sounds like a sad. But she's also using sex as a bargain told. She's saying, she's, she's saying, if he's good enough to have sex with. So I feel like he's, she's, he's's not helping yourself as Dean Tristan and she's not willing to compromise on sex is like you got to have the conversations and you got I mean these are like she won't give head she won't receive I mean these are I'm just you, Tristan, I know you're probably thinking sex. You know, it's only sex. We have kids and life is good. It's sex is blue. Sex is so important. This one separates you from your friends now. Right. It's like, it sounds like you have more of a bitchy roommate. Right, right.

And then a caring, you know, than a girlfriend. Right. But that's what- This might need some therapy because I see a lot of things in here, and Tristan, I know I- I know. You're probably even sure, insurance, you can get a few suspect people are like, oh, therapy's a big thing.

It's not because if this, the fact that you've children, I'm not going to say like break off the engagement yet. But what I am going to say is that the, you go see a sex therapist, these things will not change. But there's also the her saying you're not good enough to have sex with. So that's damaging yourself a steam. And I don't like that. She's speaking to you. And so there's a lot, and you're wondering

if she's cheating. It sounds like there's a lot going on here. And this is all there in gate. This is supposed to be the honeymoon phase. Yeah, this is supposed to be the start of good. You're planning the wedding. If they've already been married for five years and things are, you know, bad, that's different.

Like you're engaged. You're supposed to be. You're 29. You're like bunnies. You're supposed to be, you know, I'm sure having kids changes things, but you should be really into each other right now. Right. They should be, but they also have kids. But when people have kids that does throw a wrench in it, I get it. But it's all I'm saying, if you don't nip this in the bud now, however you have a cut you say, we have to put this on hold till we go fix sort this out but I don't think like one or two talks with her is going to help which is why I think you need a third party because you do have kids he's feeling like she's just using him for

the kids he's like I think she's wants me around help with the kids like none of this is a good foundation for me I think they're her kids or they are kids he says our kids he says she needs help with our kids okay so these are there's a lot of things but she might have some resentments, build them maybe she feels like she needs more help, but it's not you. Maybe you need a nanny. Maybe she feels like to post post part of who knows. Maybe she doesn't feel good about herself. This is why we need some help. It needs to be stated. This is a problem. Right. We can't go on like this. Exactly. Like this. I wouldn't go don't approach her and say are you cheating because that that's gonna. Yeah. So I'll attack. Right. Even if you have that feeling that can come out later after you

start talking about your problems like sometimes I wonder if you're cheating on me. But don't like don't start with that because shut down. Just say I I think we should say is like you know I'm I've really been thinking about this a lot lately and I just I'm really missing this connection with you this intimacy like because he's not getting affection outside either like some you, he wants to hold her hand when they're probably, whatever it is, or make out, you know, he's not getting affection, blow jobs, sex, and she's being verbally abusive. I think so.

So, just to say to where I'm not feeling intimate, like, I can't get to you, and I'm worried about some of these things, and I know we love each other, and I think we need to get some help. And if she refuses, and she doesn't want to talk about it at least try to talk about it with each other. Yeah, you could try first that going there, but you could say listen, you could even play her this show. I mean, if you want. I mean, a lot of couples listen together. And that's how they help their kids.

It's really hard to have these conversations, Tristan. I get it. So you just open it up and be like, listen. And you get into a routine and you're like, I'll tell her tomorrow. I'll tell her tomorrow. I trust him when you're doing the kids at school. Do it this weekend or when the kids are sleeping. Just say listen, I've been, I love, I've been really concerned lately.

I want to tell you how I've been feeling. And the more that we're feeling worse, they say, use an eye statement. And I stay in that a year, don't attack. You don't hug me. You won't give me blow jobs. I just like, I feel, you can't come down on salmon for how they feel.

As we say, I feel hurt. I feel disconnected from you. Just connected. What do we do about this? Right. You, you know, don't exactly. Exactly. Right.

What do we do? You're exactly right. What are your suggestions? I understand that you're straight. You know, what do we do? And then just put it out there. So you could try that. Maybe, you know, she's got, she might have a lot to say about this.

If you guys have not had one of these real true intimate conversations in a while, it sounds like that's a great way to start. You see, work out as book good luck with this Tristan and I'm like, don't, don't rush it. Don't rush it, don't rush it. Don't rush into a marriage when you can't even, you know. The whole dance. Hold hands.

Oh yeah, to get low-dogs, I'm gonna say. Yeah, I know, I know. Okay, what, do I have to do this? It's so fun. Yeah, thank you, we're all flew by. We really go here for five minutes. I know, well, this is why we're gonna do some more shows. Yeah, I love this Wow, it's like we knew each other in a past life I know

I know we might be we're gonna find out after But check out everything and okay, so Joanna angel calm If you are into like sexy people having sex and porn, Joanna has a great site, very popular. A lot of couples like watching my porn together. So to put it out there, if you are a guy looking for the right porn to watch with your girlfriend, go to burningangel.com. Why do you think that is a couple friendly?

Because people always do ask this, it's a great suggestion. I don't know, and the funny thing is thing is we never made quote porn for couples. A lot of stores that carry porn for couples won't carry my porn because it's not like a ton of for play or I don't even know. It's so weird what people have decided that couples and women like which is so far off. Exactly. But I don't know a lot of, not every movie.

They've never been to your site. Which one would you send them to? Sorry, a lot of pressure every movie they've never been to your site which one would you send them to? Sorry, a lot of pressure. I know you got a lot of pressure You could think about it. Yeah, you know, just go there. Yeah See what you like a lot of couples do like watching the movies that I've made with plots in them Because I think they can watch the plot Joe got it together Then they get like a rouse during the sex scene and then they could go back to talking about it. Like it's a movie night. It's a popcorn like Netflix, you know, enjoying a burning angel and child. Yeah.

So we love. Okay. So it's at joy and angel at an Instagram and Twitter and the website burning. It's like, huh, thank you so much for being here. Thank you. This was a lot of fun. I know. It's just great.

Thank you everyone for listening and for supporting sponsors. I'll see you in York. You guys always say Emily come to the West Coast and I'm going to be there. So I will see you there. And You guys always say Emily come to the West Coast and I'm gonna be there. So I will see you there. And thank you producer Madison, thank you Eddie, Laurie and Jamie. I have a great team and thanks everyone for listening.

Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. People joke a lot about men not being able to last long in bed. You know it's a widespread issue when it becomes something society recognizes as a condition

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