Sex With Emily - Feeling Kinky? Try These Positions

Episode Date: June 16, 2023

How do you take a classic sex position and make it kinky? On today’s show, I’m telling you exactly how. Inspired by the positions chapter in Smart Sex (out now at bookstores everywhere), I’m talking through two specific positions that bring the kink – and another classic that you can spice up with a little power play. First, I’m looking at Cowgirl/Cowboy and talking through its pros, cons, and evolutions to introduce kinky dynamics. Next, I’m talking Doggy Style (or as I like to call it: Rear Entry) and breaking down its inherent kink dynamics and ideas to make it even more exciting. Finally, we’re looking at Missionary, which I think we can all agree needs a kinky rebrand. I’ll give you ideas to make it more surprising and sexy.Show Notes:How to Talk Like a Good Little SubORDER MY NEW BOOK! Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your PleasureMEET ME ON TOUR! Sex With Emily Book Tour: SMART SEX Event DatesTAKE THE SEX IQ QUIZ! Email proof of purchase to [e-mail] and I’ll send you a link to take the quizLELO Soraya Wave (code SEXWITHEMILY for 25% off sitewide)More Sex With Emily: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Face to face positions are your friend. Now how about Lotus? We're one of you sits in the other's lap and you can use your fingers for clitorial stimulation and penetration. That's a fun one. It's intimate, you're looking to your other's eyes, and you can stimulate each other easily. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. So how do

you take a classic sex position and make it kinky? Well on today's show I'm telling you exactly how. Inspired by the positions chapter in my new book Smart Sex, which is out now at bookstores everywhere, I'm talking through two specific positions that bring the kink and another classic that you can spice up with a little power play. First, I'm looking at cowgirl, cowboy, and talking through its pros, cons, and evolutions to introduce kinky dynamics. Next, I'm talking doggie style, or as I like to call it rear entry, and breaking down its inherent kink dynamics and ideas to

make it even more exciting. Finally, we're looking at Missionary, which I think we can all agree needs a kinky re-brand. I'll give you ideas to make it more surprising and sexy. Please rate and review Sex with Emily wherever you listen to this show. My new article, How to Talk Like a Good Little Sub, is up on sexwithemily.com. If you wanna ask me questions, leave me your questions or message me at sexwithemily.com. Slash ask Emily or calm my hotline, 559 talk sex or 559 825 5739.

Just include your name, your age, where you live and how you listen to the show and you can change your name or choose your main non-mess. It's all good. All right, this has been a big week. My book Smart Sex, How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Puzzle is officially out. Basically, this is your new sex Bible.

It's a psychology of sex. What's holding you back from pleasure? I share deep personal stories about my own life and journey. You know, I think this is gonna be great for book clubs. I've been hearing from a lot of you that said you're gonna start one of your own. I would love that. In fact, maybe I'll call into your book club.

Wouldn't that be fun? You can order it right now. Get it tomorrow. Put it to practice this weekend. And I'm just so grateful for all of you in your support. Oh my God, you guys, I had the best time in New York. So for everybody who came to the strand bookstore, it was probably one of the best nights of my life to meet all of you, the listeners, 150 people showed up,

and I got to sign your books and meet you. It was just overwhelming and exciting, like, overwhelming in a good way, like emotional overwhelm. And so, you know, I am going to be taking this on the road and doing some more book tours and live podcasts. So if you have an organization or an idea about where I should speak and how we can meet on the road, no matter where you live in the world, email me feedback at sexwithm.ly.com. There is one more tomorrow in the San Francisco Bay area. So if you're hearing this now, buy your tickets, I'll be in Corda Madira at Book Passage. And order the book right now, sexathemely.com or wherever you get your books.

And I encourage you to order from Indy Bookstores because it's always good to support them. Lastly, today's episode is brought to you by Laylo. Laylo makes beautiful award-winning luxury sex toys that look just as good on your nightstand as they feel on your body. And if you're a vulva owner who loves literal and internal stimulation, they've got just the toy for you. Laylo's Soraya Wave is such a beautiful toy. I love this, okay?

It's dual action, which I do love a dual action toy. I love this. Okay. It's dual action, which I do love a dual action toy, because you know, it inserts internally so you get the G area pulsations and vibrations, but also there's a arm that's stimulating your clitoris at the same time. I think the G spot arm has this really satisfying girth, you know, a feeling of fullness, which is a really cool sensation to have this full internal sensation while also having this really cool external vibration on your clitoris. You've been looking for a blended orgasm, it did it for me, hope it does it for you. The sororier wave makes it that much easier to have one of these special orgasms. And if you've never

had a dual blended orgasm and you think you can't, well, buy this toy and then let me know what you think. You could get 25% off all Lalo products when you use the code sexwithemilyetcheckout. Just go to lalo.com, that's leolo.com, use code sexwithemily for 25% off or just click the link in our show notes.

All right, everyone, enjoy this episode. What's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's did Instagram post recently revealing all the amazing illustrations of sex positions that are my book smart sex. And you guys like loved it. Seriously, you are all always all over these sex positions whenever I talk about them on the show or I do articles you're into them. And for my book, I just have to think my amazing illustrator, Priscilla Whitty, for bringing all these amazing sex positions to light in a way that I don't know, I don't think you've ever seen anything like this before. I know I hadn't and I have to admit I do love sex positions as much as

all of you do, but I have to admit that trying to describe them to you can be tricky. And so a lot times I kind of didn't want to do shows about sex positions because I wanted you to see them, but since I'm also equally obsessed with these illustrations, I'm gonna do my best to describe some of them in this episode as well as how to spice them up. Because listen, I've heard you all, it's clear that many of you tune into the podcast are kinkier than you think. And I don't want you to shut down when you hear the word kink, a lot of you do.

You think there's like a dark dungeon with whips and leathers and frogs, that's just not what kink means. I mean, it can mean that. I think that's pretty hot. But the truth is, the technical definition of kink is anything outside of conventional sex. So honestly, we're all a little kinky because conventional sex is defined as basically making out having missionary sex, rolling over, falling asleep. Like, in some people, if you have oral sex, you're kicky. So I'm just gonna say we're all a little kinky, okay?

So this episode, I am responding to what the sex with Emily Community is into, and I am gonna take in spell for my brand new book, Smart Sex, which is officially out now, if you haven't heard. So this is gonna help you make some of these conventional sex positions that you love a little bit kinkier, hotter, and more pleasurable. One of the best things, though, about the positions chapter is that I give, well, I think it's one of the best. I was writing, I was like, how do I do this differently for the book? And I give the pros, the cons, and the

evolutions for every sex position. You know, why you might like one position more than the other, and then how your preferences tap into your psychology and your sex IQ or sexual intelligence, and then I give adaptations to make them more comfortable or pleasurable. So, here's some kinkier ways to do them. First position, cowgirl or cowboy, or it's also been called the woman on top position, right?

You won't know what I'm talking about. In this position they giving or the penetrating partner this is the person lying down on their back while the receiving partner straddles and rides them on top okay so the receiving partner is on top and the giving partner is on the bottom and by the way the giving partner can be a vulva owner with a strap on so So we're not just talking genders here, a penis has to be on the bottom, okay? So in this position, the receiver person on top is in charge. They are the dominant partner. Now, this can be really hot if you're a receiver who likes to take control in the bedroom.

Because when you're on top, think about it. You could control the pace, the depth, the motion. I won't encourage you. A lot of you get on top and you pop up up and down like a polystick, which is maybe what you saw on porn. But not only can that be exhausting, but if you are a vulva owner, I don't think that that is the most pleasurable way to do this position. Try moving your hips around your partner's penis or strap on, swirling in circular motions, or rocking back and forth, because this way you are rubbing

your clitoris, your pubic bone against your partner, which means you're going to have a lot more pleasure and you're really going to be hitting those nerve endings rather than an up and down. Since you're at control, you can really tease your partner. So this is a fun way to practice edging orgasm denial to make this position of kinkier. And just so as a reminder, edging is when you're taking your partner or yourself to the brink of orgasm and then coming back down, going up to orgasm and coming back down. And essentially orgasm denial is a form of edging, but you never quite bring them to orgasm. So this is just a tease. And it's fun. Because if you're on top, you're moving back and forth, you go really fast and then you sew it down you go fast and sew it down and that is kinky and hot

Another fun part about this position is when you're riding your partner You're giving them like a full view of your beautiful sexy body like it's all out and they can look up at you And see your body into position that they're not often used to. And if you want to throw it in reverse, reverse cowgirl, reverse cowboy, this is also hot because they get to see your backside, which is sexy. And if you're turned on by exhibitionism,

which means you like to be seen having sex, you might love throwing in reverse. Now, if you're the giver on the bottom in this position, you can lean into your submissive role. You can relax and just kind of give up control to your partner, watch them take control. Admire their body. This position can be very hot if you're someone

who gets turned on by watching other people have sex, so you're more of a voyeur. So of course, one adaptation is to switch the dominant and submissive roles while maintaining the same position, so hear me out. It can be incredibly hot to take control from down under while still watching your partner on top. And remember this, just because you are dominating does not mean that the penetration

has to be fast and forceful. I want to remind you that slow sex can be just as kinky, And for money, it feels a lot better too, and can be more intimate. You're slowing down, you're looking to each other's eyes. Another adaptation is to bring a toy into the mix. Well, this is really a great adaptation for any position. Huge fan of bringing toys into all the mixes. Now, this one, the receiving partner on top

can lean back, exposing their clitoris more, their vulva, and then they can touch their clitoris with their fingers for dual stimulation or bring in the toy to take over some of the work. Or the giving partner on bottom can stimulate their partner's clitoris with either a toy or their fingers. So basically, we're just talking about adding more clitorial stimulation with fingers, no matter who's fingers, and using a toy, no matter who's holding the toy. This might even shift the power play even more.

So, for example, if the receiver is controlling the penetration, while the giver is controlling the clitorial stimulation. So much of what makes kinky sex hot is playing with this power and polarity. So, even one in one sex session, you might be mixing up who's a control, who's leading, who's following, who's dominating, and that's really fun and hot in itself. Oh, another fun evolution is to take this position off the bed and onto other furniture

like a chair. Chair, sex and chair positions are really fun because you just have more leverage. You might have the arms on the chair or an couch. Because now the receiving partner can sit on their partner riding them up and down and all over the house. I love using furniture and it gets you out of your bedroom, especially if you're always having sex in your bedroom. You know, one of the reasons why we all love hotel sex is because we're actually not in the same bed as we always are. So if you can't get to a hotel, you can't take vacations, just move it onto the couch. So the second position we're spicing up is doggy style, or I like to call it rear entry. Now I have to say that this position already has an inherent level of kinkiness. So again, you can

always reverse who's a control of the penetration. It's typically the giving partner who assumes the dominant role. And in this position, the giver typically enters the partner from behind while the receiving partner is prop up on their hands and knees or their elbows and knees or you can even lie flat in this position. In fact, one hot adaptation is to go even further down into a cat stretch, arching your back, allowing for even deeper penetration. Now, due to the lack of eye contact in this position, because you're not facing each other, this position can be a little less intimate at times, which for some people makes it

hotter. They're like, I can do whatever I want, I can make whatever face they want, I'm in control. And since you're not facing each other, this is a great place to bring in some role play. You could be a boss and employee, like a celebrity and a fan, two people having an affair. And by the way, these are just three of the 43 role play ideas I gave in my book.

I was just being interviewed on a podcast and they were like, oh my God, I can't wait to try all of these role playing ideas, which I just love when this is, the book is really resonating with people. Also, remember that all of your fantasies are acceptable. Even the ones you keep to yourself, because remember, there are fantasies you want to share with your partner, and the ones you don't. All are good. Feel free to tap into your imagination and your position where eye contact is limited.

You know, as long as your partner feels seen, appreciated, and pleasure by you, either during sex or during aftercare, it's all good what you decide to do during sex. Even though rear entry doesn't have as intimate of a reputation as the other positions, any position can feel intimate, depending on the energy between you and your partner. And rear entry, believe me, it can still feel incredibly hot, sensual and connected because it can be slow, gentle, pleasurable. The giving partner can reach an arm around and stimulate the receiving partner's clitoris with their fingers or a toy.

Or the receiving partner can reach back and stimulate their partner's testicles or perineum. You can even look back and look at your partner, you can make out with them. You can put a mirror in the room, so you're both watching. Like, there's a lot of ways to make that really intimate as well. Lastly, we have missionary position. Because yes, missionary can also be kinky.

And I know, you're thinking like Dr. Emily, you just said that missionary style sex was conventional. Well, yes, it is. That's the position that a lot of us know and a lot of us do. And it can be. But listen, it can be incredibly hot with just a couple of evolutions. So missionary typically involves the receiving part or lying on their back while the giving partners on top while they face each other.

And there's often a lot of eye contact and skin-to-skin contact making incredibly intimate and sexy. One way to take this intimacy up a notch is to experiment with dirty talk. Now, I know, dirty talk might sound intimidating for many of you, but you'd be amazed how much of dirty talk is just talking it all, because so many of you don't even talk during sex.

And I've heard from so many of you like let me know that like I wanna know what's my part of feeling? What are they thinking? Please make sounds. Please talk during sex, okay? So whether Dirty Talk or it is talking, I found that that seems to be hot for many, many people

and we just can't do enough of it. And a lot of people are scared to know what to say and they don't say anything at all, which is another reason why there's no talking. And moaning and talking direct sex can help you feel way freer in the bedroom. You really can. So this is also a practice.

So if you're not used to making any noise or any sound, just practice with moaning, and then we can work our way up to talking. You know, you can just start with simply telling your partner what feels good to you in a sexy tone. Not only is it incredibly hot, but it's a great way to give feedback to a partner and communicate in the bedroom. So while you're in missionary, whisper in their ear and tell them all the things that feel good, like, you just feel so good with your hands on my ass, or I love how warm it feels inside you.

I love how deep you feel inside of me or even just you look so sexy right now. You're so hot. And while you're there, you can put your hands through their hair, kiss their neck, their ears. We recently answered a listener's question about the ears being a rogensones and it's true. I think these other rogensones secondary, Roger's Sones are so underrated or so underutilized because we don't know about them. But again, the ears, the nape of the neck, inner elbow, those are all areas that feel great when kissed and tickled and touched. You can also bring out some kink play props like a blindfold or handcuffs because let's remember that tying someone down and taking away one of their senses is incredibly hot and kinky and still a variation of that OG missionary

position. So as you can see, there's a way to make all kinds of sex in all kinds of positions, kinky ear. Even something as simple as a fantasy in your mind or a bite on the ear can make the most accessible positions hot and spicy and really memorable. Stick around, because after the break, I'm answering your questions like, what are good positions for a height difference?

Alright, we'll be right back. This is from Brian 32 in Virginia. Help Dr. Emily, I love the podcast. I stumbled on to getting some ideas to help please my wife and bed. So my wife has the mindset that sexes to please a man, and it always wants to do the same position. Missionary, and she will do cowgirl. She's never had orgasm and does not masturbate.

I was wondering if you had any recommendations on loobs or gels, anything that could help with her pleasure. Okay, Brian, first off, I love that you are reaching out about your wife's pleasure. We love to see that. Next. Okay, I'm going to love it with you here. If your wife has never had an orgasm, does not masturbate and believes the whole purpose of sex is to please a man, I have to say this is not an issue that Loops alone can solve. And you know I love Loops. I want a Loom in every nightstand, but your wife is going to have to do a ton of reprogramming on the mental side first. And I know you want this erotic sexual connection with your wife and you want her to enjoy

pleasure for herself, not just to please you. Well, it has to start with the conversation. So you can try something like, hey, I would love to have a deeper sexual connection with you because I love you and I want our connection to grow and thrive. And could you tell me more about your mindset and sex? And is there anything about sex that has pleased you in the past? Does it feel good to you? I'm wondering about your belief that it's all about pleasing a man.

Because I'm curious, how was she raised? So many of us are shame programmed early on when it comes to sex. That sex is all about procreation, that it's not okay to feel pleasure, that masturbation is wrong, and that might be your wife. So start there. Start by getting curious with her and listening. This is going to be a longer journey, Brian, because she's going to have to discover for herself why sexual pleasure is a healthy, exciting thing for her even to desire.

But it's not impossible. I mean, so many women I know have gotten more sexual as they do the work, as they get older, and they start to investigate, you know, what am I holding myself back from? Why don't I want to enjoy sex? You know, when I was 35, I truly did not know how to prioritize my pleasure. And I write all about that in smart sex. The second thing I'd recommend is bringing in some pleasure, positive voices in your life. You know, a lot of couples have told me that they listen to my pockets in the cart together, for example. Like, they listen to a lot of them. And then they say, hey, you know, Emily said this thing the other day on the show,

and I wanted to listen together. Are you game? Or well, you're listening, you can stop it and say like, what do you think about that? You're using the show as fodder to expand your sex life and your connection. And by having that initial deep connection with her and together listening to more pleasure positive voices, that's going to start shifting the environment a little. And ideally, this becomes an ongoing conversation between the two of you. And you guys just keep letting her know that you don't want sex to just be about pleasing you. That what pleases you is her having pleasure. You want her to

enjoy it also. The heart of the matter is she has to want it. I get it. You don't want to be with someone that's just making it about you and isn't having your own pleasure. That's not really hot for anybody. And we want her to want to blossom into a sexual being for herself. So the more support, curiosity, and collaboration you can offer, the better. All right. Keep me posted, Brian, let me know how it goes. And by the way, if you just started listening to the show, please, please email me with updates on your progress and how everything's going.

I'd love to hear your stories and how you're evolving along with the show and with me and with the advice, feedback at sexwithemily.com. This is from Michaela, she's 30.. Hey Dr. Emily, I love your podcast. I recently listened to the Sex Positions episode and it got me wondering, could you highlight some positions for two vulva owners who want to mutually stimulate?

My partner doing downward dog and vitamin sounds hot, but it's only one person getting stimulated at a time. We like to both be feeling good. Ah, I love it. Yes, absolutely 1,000% possible for two vulva owners to mutually stimulate. All right, I have three suggestions for you. You ready?

First, are you both fans of Oral? Because I just did a 69 episode with all kinds of hacks to make it even more fun. Like the power 69, where one partner is doing a face sitting variation on top. That's a really hot one. And you can also lie side by side. I give all the variations of 69 in that episode.

Second, let's talk fingers. Face to face positions are your friend. You know, how about Lotus? Where one of you sits in the other's lap and you can use your fingers for clitorial stimulation and penetration? That's a fun one. It's intimate, you're looking to each other's eyes

and you can stimulate each other easily. Finally, how do you feel about toys? Because I'm thinking about your downward dog question and like there are so many hot possibilities we can explore here. For example, there are pegging sets that also have a built in vibrator for the giver. Well, that way you both get to feel good, but you could also position yourself behind your

partner and stimulate them with a vibrator while you were a panty vibe. Have you ever tried those? They're super fun. They vibrate your partner's control with an app any time a day or while you're having sex and you're having some built-in vibrations. Just where you need it. Alright, I hope these ideas inspire you. Let me know how it goes. Okay, this is from JB, female 28.

Hi, Dr. Emily. By part, I've been seeing each other for a while. One challenge we face is that we are very different heights. He's six, three, and I'm five feet. With positions we've been taking the time to figure out what works. However, we recently moved to the shower and the difference was even more prominent. And we realized that logistically, it didn't seem like it would work. Do you have any suggestions for partners with extreme height differences, especially in

the shower? Yes, yes, this is a common question. I mean, I'm petite too, so I personally experiences can under. The first one may not work if you have a small shower, but if you don't have a small shower, that's simply sitting on a shower bench, and you can buy one. I bought a shower chair once, and it was fun, which is like a folding bamboo chair that was made for the shower. So if you get one of these, he can sit down and you crawl and his lap facing him and he can penetrate from there. Now listen, make sure the legs don't scoff the porcelain because I'm thinking of folding

chair with rubber feet, for example, works best. Definitely test it a bit before you both get on it and have wild sex because shower sex does result in injuries. We do not want one of those like sex set me to the ER situations. And if you don't, what about going down on each other on your knees in the shower? That's really hot. You can take turns and save penetration of a windier out of the shower.

And speaking about it in the shower, the world is your oyster. Standing positions will not work as well for you, but doggy-style or rear entry, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, lotus. I mean, I've got a million ideas for you in my position, chapter, in Smartgirl, Lotus. I mean, I've got a million ideas for you in my position chapter in Smart Sex with illustrations. I also just recommend using some furniture

around the house and experimenting with like chairs and couches, because you'll find that a lot of times getting out of the bedroom and playing with like I said earlier, playing with furniture around the house can not only be really hot, but that could be great for your particular situation as well. Good luck and have fun. Remember sex is fun everybody. And the last question, this is from Laurel 25. Hey Dr. Emily, I came to the realization that I

can only orgasm with my legs together and straight, kind of like a pencil. I masturbate regularly and I'm able to orgasm but only with my legs straight. I haven't been able to orgasm with a partner through penetration and I've only been able to orgasm from oral once. And I don't think my legs were together. Do you have any recommendations for positions to help me orgasm with a partner since it's difficult to have penetration or even oral with my leg straight? Please help. Thank you. All right, great question. This is common. Actually, I have to say that I hear from a lot of vulva owners who are used to orgasming this way. And that's because it engages your pelvic floor in an optimal way for orgasm.

You're able to squeeze your legs together which are clenching your pelvic floor muscles together and it's just a really efficient way to orgasm. Because remember, an orgasm is a spasm of the pelvic far muscles. So my tip for vulva owners who don't have any existing pain and other challenges, my first tip is to do kegels if you're not doing them already.

And essentially, kegel exercise is when you squeeze like you're stopping the flow of urine, you hold it for five to 10 seconds and release. If you do this like 10 times a day to start, you can even put a little reminder in your phone, you're gonna start feeling these muscles strengthened. And this way you're straight in your orgasm muscles,

and then you can start to learn tensing and relaxing them with your legs further apart, which might even help you have more orgasms when your legs are not apart. So it's really just a practice, but the second part of this, and this is what I really think it is, is there a neural association between your body position and your orgasm, meaning we all get set in our ways.

We have a very set way for orgasm, we have a set way like how we walk, how we run, how we do things, we just get set in our ways. So it makes sense that our bodies do the same thing with orgasm. It is a good practice for everybody to mix it up. Always, and this is how we expand our orgasmic potential. So try this, Laurel.

Next time you're masturbating, you're about to orgasm. Hold off. This is what we call edging. So let's say you're about to orgasm. If you think about a scale of one to 10, one being nowhere close to orgasm and 10 being I'm literally coming, you want to get to a 7 rate and then you bring it back down. Maybe you stop touching yourself, you stop masturbating and then you bring it back up again.

Because what happens is this engordes your generals and makes your orgasms even more powerful. So, try the experiment where you work yourself up to a 7 or 8 with straight legs, about once or twice and then when you're on your way to orgasm, the third time and feel close, change the position. Maybe open your legs slightly, maybe bend a knee. You don't have to go wild here or anything. You're simply teaching your brain a slightly different way to do this. As for being with a partner and penetration, you could try rear entry when you're lying down on your stomach.

And then you get to keep your leg straight. But just keep in mind here, Laurel, that there's no law saying that you have to orgasm or that sex is a good if you don't orgasm, making it the end goal of sex can be stressful and create this tunnel vision for the sexual experience. But still, you want orgasm. I get it. I hear you. So have you ever tried bringing a toy into the mix with your partner?

And I'm asking this because remember most vulva owners do not orgasm from penetration alone. I'm literally going to buy a billboard for that one day. They need, they require literal stimulation and toys are excellent for that. Oral, also good for that too. And you did say that you had some success with the oral sex and you didn't have your legs together. So I love that a partner was able to do that. Now you could also try masturbating a little bit

on your own before you have sex or receive oral just to get yourself closer to the orgasm of tipping point and the other thing you can do is play with breath. When you start getting a rouse and turn on and feel like you're about to orgasm, if you just deep breathe and you start pulling that sexual energy and arousal up through your body, you realize that it's more about energy than it is about your orgasm being

just stuck there between your legs and that specific position. So I think all of these mindful practice paying attention to how you get a roused and turn on and breathing and just really paying attention to it is going to help you realize a lot of other ways you can orgasm. You got this, thanks Laurel. Alrighty everyone, that's fun. Okay, those are some of your answers there. I love to hear from you.

And if you're just joining sex with Emily, welcome to the Sex with Emily family. I'm so glad you're here. I know we have a lot new listeners this week. And just know we released two episodes a week. Check them all out. Let me know what you think of the show. And hope you guys are all enjoying Smart Sex by new book.

Check out our website because we get so many articles and just let me know what you think. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. I can't wait to hear from you and welcome to the Sex with the Emily family. That's it for today's episode, see you on Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Be sure to like, subscribe, and give us a review wherever you listen to the podcast and

share this with a friend or partner. You can find me on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter at Sex with Emily. Oh, I've been told I give really good email. So sign up at sexwithemle.com and while you're there, check out my free guides and articles for more ways to prioritize your pleasure. If you'd like to ask me about your sex life, dating, or relationships, call my hotline 559 Talk Sex. That's 559-825-5739.

A go to sexwithemily.com-ask-emily. Special thanks to A-CAST for powering the Sex With Emily Podcast. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com.