Sex With Emily - Fellatio Fluency

Episode Date: May 2, 2019

On today’s show, Emily is talking about why talking during sex is just as important as talking about sex, as well as taking your calls. She gives tips on how to work around the dreaded lockjaw issue you may be having while performing fellatio, ways to introduce masturbation & fantasies to your lover, and how to get out of your head and into a climactic orgasm. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Womanizer, CalEx Pave, Magic Wand, Good Vibrations, SiriusXM Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemily For even more sex advice, tips & tricks, visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm talking about why talking during sex is just as important as talking about sex. And I'm taking your calls, topics include. So you want to give your husband oral, but you can't get past the dreaded lac jaw. What do you do? In a dream, where all your wife is super open about masturbation and fantasies, so how do you make this a reality?

And your partner's so-and-our-head she just can't reach climax. What do you do to help? All this and more, thanks for listening! Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubize they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Evelyn! You got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand.

Oh, my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Lollip? What do you mean, like, laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God.

I'm on for a sound. I'm on for a sound. Being bad feels pretty good. But, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. Pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between for more information. Check out SexWithEmily.com because it's awesome.

Sign up for our mailing list and all the blogs we have there to help connect you more to the Sex with Emily world. We love when you subscribe to the podcast where ever you listen and comment, it really helps us and helps you as well. So we can make more episodes and have more shows and more things to help you have a better life. You can also find me on series XM Radio Monday through Friday, 5-7pm Pacific on Stars channel 109. You can get a free 30-day trial at sexwithamily.com slash SXM. And as always, you should be following us

on all social media at sexwithamily. And you know, it is masturbation month, happy masturbation month. We love this month. So it's gonna be awesome, and we're gonna have lots of prizes and things we're given away to have you may save a better month.

So check us out on all the places. I hope you enjoy the show. Here's a deal. It's a study, it's a alert. I mean, to me, I know this, and I've talked about this, but I always think sometimes if we can back things by science, then maybe you'll be like, oh,

make so much sense. Talking during sex can lead to a more satisfying sex life, according to science. My top communication advice for you is when you want to actually talk to your partner about something about your sex life, that is still best to do it outside the bedroom, I think. I know. But the actual experience during sex, like, and we're talking communicating during sex verbally

and non-verbally. In fact, there's a lot of non-verbal stuff during sex that is also helpful. So the study was published that said that people who communicate in bed, somehow, however they do it, are more satisfied sexually in their relationship. So to clarify, you know, you talk with our body, or nonverbal cues. In fact, they say that most of what we say is nonverbal. So moving your hand, like if you're in bed with someone, you just want to move their hand, where, you know, you're like, oh, you know what, I actually think it'd be much

better if they actually hit my clitoris. And they moved it over, like, maybe they think that my pubic mouth is my clitoris. So the side of my leg, and you can move their hand or moaning. Moaning when your partner does something that you like. Or, you know, moving your head when something's uncomfortable or like kind of pulling away,

those are all the communications. Or also when you're wondering if your partner is having an orgasm, there's always a big confusion around that. Is she faking? Is he not faking? Typically, your breath quickens, cheeks flush, your heart starts to race. There are some signs, a little bit more. It can be, you know, you gotta really pay attention to it, but there are so many cues.

So the use of verbal, nonverbal communication is important during sex. It's also about your communication style. So I think that what happens now is either people say nothing during sex, which I think is because if you're feeling something and you're feeling good, I think, moan, let your partner know that you moan. But then I think there's also the porn generation, people with the only sex they ever saw was porn. And then they make noises that are not commensurate with what's actually happening in the moment.

Or they're not even commensurate with who they are. They're kind of like, this is the how this porn star was making in noise. Or this is how I think I should. And so they're not like genuine mones from their own. They're like an act. But I think we all can find our voice in the bedroom, like how you speak and how you can convey your partner about what you're into. And I think the reason why people aren't talking

during sex is because we think it's gonna be embarrassing and it's gonna ruin the mood. I think we're all so afraid to do anything during sex so we don't want to ruin the mood. But I guarantee you, you're not even in the mood if you're already thinking something else needs to happen. So just by thinking that, means that you're out of the mood. So you might as well say something during sex in the sense of like that feels really good, or moaning affirmations, or moving their hand and saying, you know, let's slow down for a minute.

Since sex is so taboo and weird to us, we just, some people become mute during sex. They don't make any noise. I feel like sometimes men are a little bit quieter. They adjust when they orgasm. But like, dude, no, we want to keep that. I know, we want to communicate throughout the whole experience. Moning or dirty talk. It doesn't have to be dirty talk.

Like, it's big. Your ass feels so good. This feels so good. I think that we just don't take things because we don't really know what to say or it's going to sound, we're a bearer. We think it's going to feel, we're going to be embarrassed. And we think our partners, not going to respond like, do you ever think like, I think you think you moan and you do something weird and then maybe you look at your partner's face and maybe they make a weird face but there's nothing to do with you and then you think I

could never talk again or something like, we're all so concerned. But once you get to that point, it's actually where you just don't, that you're just in your body and you can't help but make noise, it's so freeing during sex. And actually, enhances orgasm for women and for men. If someone's like avertly quiet, is there a way they can kind of,

because maybe it's not natural to them to make some noise, is there a way to kind of make it feel more or not forced? I think the best thing is to practice. Like maybe during masturbation makes some noise. Like be like, okay, I never make any noise when I'm in the bedroom. Why is that? Now I'm only brought that up tonight.

I was driving, I was listening to the show. And she said something I'm making noise, I never do. And then just do it. And then you'll realize that like you just part a natural part of the experience. And in fact, I believe that when you make more noise and you breathe more during sex, you actually enhance and can enhance your orgasms. And that's also signals to your partner that you're enjoying.

I tell about letting your partner know, because I think otherwise we're like blind. And the people who don't say anything, like, I've been with guys. I remember this one guy. He was like, I didn't even know if he had orgasm. If he was enjoying himself, if he was enjoying himself, as he was still alive right after. Like, I would come, thank God, and then he'd be like,

that was the noise. It was like, it was like, I'm like, excuse me, did you just, and that was how he orgasms him. I'd be like, are you clearing your throat? Yeah, like, what? Like, did you, and like, how did, and I knew he was, like, his eyes were closed,

but like, dude, like, you can, your throat? Yeah, like what? Like did you, and like how did, and I knew he was, like his eyes were closed, but like dude, like you can, it's okay. Let's speak up. I mean this is before I knew how to communicate effectively in the bedroom. I probably just wasn't annoyed by it or like just thought, like why are you not talking? What is your problem?

I think I actually said something new once. I was like, I love to hear you, like you're really quiet. And I probably said it wrong. Like I probably do what everyone does, what you do. I probably said you never make noise. And I probably said it wrong. I probably do what everyone does, what you do. I probably said, you never make noise. And I probably, like, phrase them out. It's like 15 years, like, oh man, what's wrong with me?

Is that weird? But I think if it's more like, I think it'd be, just like everything you talk about, it's actually like, I think it'd be so hot to hear you moan. I think that would be so sexy. You know, I love hearing your voice, you know? And I think the more you do it, then you're gonna realize it. Like if you just try it out, you're going to realize that you and your partner are going

to get into a group. I mean, I don't know for you guys. Do you make noise? How do you feel about noise during sex? Do you make noise? I think that a time where it is slightly appropriate to be quiet is say you are more so like more or less like more loud in the bedroom with your partner, but it's you're in a position where you can't make noise.

I think that that could be really hot. It's like your hands over your mouth, actually. Yeah, something like that, or like if you're, you know, going somewhere with like family or something like that on a trip and you're like, you know, in your bedroom. Oh, yeah. I mean, I think that- I think you've kid, yeah.

Yeah, something like that, that's like, I think you can't make noise because he has a band-dannne over your mouth. That too. That's hot. That could be something. That could be something. That's hot. I think there's something to making some, but even when you have to be quiet,

there's still noises that can be made. Or nonverbal, nonverbal. Yeah. Yeah. Just like you could just show them how you like things or take grab their hands and show them how great it is or grab their app. If you can't make noise and make more

nonverbal communication letting them know that it's great. And I think that could be like grabbing or touching or showing them where you want to be touched. But I get it, like you have kids who you're staying at someone's home. Yeah, you gotta be perhaps a little more quiet. That's why I never stay with anybody. Ever, I'm just loud, it's actually.

I think I've gotten louder too. And I have to say, come to confidence. It comes with confidence, because I literally don't care. I mean, I don't care my partner thing, so I don't even think about it. I'm like, I'm truly in my body when I'm having sex and it's loud, me sometimes I'm there.

And I'm not saying the whole time, you're like yelling and screaming. It's just something that I feel like, if there's a reason why you're not, let's just say that. If there's a reason why you're like, I've held back, or yeah, people have said that to me, if you're thinking right now, you're listening, going, yeah, what? Partner said to me, once, why don't you?

Or I am holding back, I think it's interesting to look at and say, oh, I wonder if I really, because there's so much to the act of sex that is all your senses are being engaged. So to not, it almost seems like you're holding back if you're not actually localizing. I hate I like I mean this is just like a really I'm very passionate about this subject because I really just don't like having quiet sex um In any way because like I'm because I am very verbal so and I've been with partners the last couple

Where I say stuff and they like don't really say anything back or they're so focused and I can see in their face that they're really focused, that they're like, what? And I'm like, I'm not gonna repeat myself. That's unsightly. We were like, you're so hot or something and you're like, what?

I'm just like, oh, this feels so good. Your cock feels so good. Things like that. And it's like, you're not gonna do anything to respond to that. So now I'm like, oh, yeah, just will fuck me, right? Well, I guess you're already doing that, but, you know. Right, exactly. So they do nothing. I think, you I'm like, oh yeah, just will fuck me right? Well, I guess you're already doing that but you know Right exactly I think go what you think I go what babe like he was

Turing sex my ex He was like what did you say so all the time? I was like am I? No, he doesn't smoke he was What like was he in another was his eyes closed was he fan that was he somewhere else? No, I think he was just focused even when he's like No, you'd be going down on me and I'd be like, saying like, oh, it feels like he'd be like, stop and you'd be like, what?

And I'm like, no, keep going. But like, if, just keep going. Well, they're asking as hard for people. Oh, it's like, I guess, well, it's my job as multitask. I know, thank God you're good at it, because there's a lot going on here. Throw a lot of balls around. Hmm.

Hmm. Get it. I think too, like, it helps, because when you are being verbal in some way, you have to use your breath. Yes, exactly. And so you guys remember that a lot of us hold our breath during sex as well.

And for a lot of women and men, you guys are holding your breath at any point is not a good idea. And that's what causes a lot of stress is a lot of us are shallow breathers. We don't learn to actually breathe deep into our bellies, like, you know, diaphragm breathing, breathing like like three deep breaths in all the way down. And like you're inhaling your exhale, like three deep in, three deep out like that's a kind of breath.

When you do that, during sex, like that helps to enhance your pleasure, move your orgasm through your body. And so I think breathing and moaning and all those things are kind of part of the entire sexual experience, which is why people are saying like, oh yeah, it's like all of our senses were engaged and were really connected and that's how they report to having more satisfying sex. It just makes sense. And so they also found, so here's the thing about, now the reason why women make noise,

oh, fake it or something like this, the researchers found that many of the women did make noise but not necessarily while they were having an orgasm. So 66% of women do say they mown to speed up their partner's climax. I think it helps speed up my own climax. Yeah, that's the thing. I agree. I think that this is a miss. I think it's true, but I think this is for women

who maybe aren't as aware that it can help you as well. I've totally been there. I've made, when I know they're going to come and you just are louder, have you? Yeah. Yeah, you're coming. But I think also, you're like, ah, baby, fine, come. Thank God.

And that's when we fake it sometimes, we should never fake it. But I think that, yeah, women can realize it, like if you, yeah, they can speed up their orgasm as well. But if you fake it or not, women are not, check this out. We're not the only primates who vocalize during sex. I love this, co-so research on the animal kingdom reveals that female baboons, for example, have a variety of

population calls, which appear to relate to their fertility. So their vocalizations are more complex when the females are closer to ovulation and very when a female's mating with a higher-ranked male badoon. So, yeah, I remember learning how the sexual anthropology is true. And you would know like when you're part of like, if you're with a higher male, you're like, ah, whatever you monkeys make. Yeah.

That was a good attempt, I think. Ah, yeah. So in female Macau monkeys, they give a shout to help trigger their mates orgasm too. So that's our primates. They're like, come on babe, like, ee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e animal impressions? No. I'll record them. Ruff. Put them on your... That was the most adorable. Ruff. Ruff. Did you talk say rough? Well speaking of okay, did you know, sorry this is a completely random fact. Nothing to do with what we were talking about. But cats, like meow, not really because

they need to meow, but to mimic the sounds that like people make to each other and like babies It's usually babies. Yeah, especially babies crying and they learned to like to meow over time domestic cats to get the attention of their owners And that crazy sound like so you can so especially those cats that are always just like like every Like five seconds. Yeah, you're just like so your cat. Well, he makes these really weird noises. They're like, it's really crazy. Some like Pokemon noise. And I'm like, what is going on in the bathrooms? Happy cat. I use them in a great old time.

Do you think cats are just, so they're meowing to manipulate us? Pretty much, yes. They're really smart. They are really smart. Cats are like no where of the owners. Yeah. Where your luck, where dogs are like, I'm so lucky, I'm so lucky to be here. Cats are like, where of the owners. Yeah. Where your luck where dogs are like I'm so loyal. I'm so lucky to be here.

Cats are like you're lucky that I'm here. Pretty much. Yeah. I know. I feel like I'm more like a cat and I probably I'm I'm hesitating getting a cat but I know that's the better animal for me. But I want to dog so bad. Yeah. You need a cat that's because like a cat's are independent or you just need a dog that's seasoned. I need to older dog. Yes, seasoned dog who knows everything just wants to cuddle It's true. All right guys, we'll take quick break and we come back. We're gonna get into your calls All right, let's talk to Maria. She's 50 new Jersey and she wants to know how she can please her husband or Lee Hey, Maria Let talk to Maria. She's 50 new Jersey and she also knows how she can please her husband Orally. Hey Maria, let's do that.

Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! I'm so glad to hear you guys. We're so glad to be back. This is my second marriage. My husband is great. We've been together almost a year. Okay. So we're still in the honeymoon phase. The sex is amazing after 40, 50s even better.

That's what I hear. I love it Maria. Yeah. But I'm having trouble like my to please him orally. Okay. And how do you know that? Because my chalk is blacking up. Okay. So he but did he tell you that it doesn't feel good? Or because sometimes we make assumptions or we like assume they're not enjoying it and they do. But you're saying you're having some pain, some jaw pain. Yes. Okay.

So you know, he's happy, but I want to make him happier. Right, okay, I get that. So what's happening? So your jaw's hurting. So here's the thing. I love these happy with it. So really this is about finding a comfortable position and some techniques for you to make it feel good

to both of you. So the most important thing is that every blow job was once like an orphaned hand job if you think about. Like there was a hand. Like a hand's are very, very important. If you use a lot of lube and take a break from the sucking and use your tongue and swirl it around his head. Like the tip of the penis is the most sensitive. So the head of the penis where the shaft meets the tip is the frenulum. On the underside of the penis there's like this

little area that you can like use your thumbs and like tickle it you could use your tongue. And be enthusiastic. You got to take the breaks though from the sucking. That's why you're getting it. So you could just even just use your hand up and down. We had a good show there, penis. I don't know. Yeah, it's called, it's a podcast. It'll be on our site. It's called Hard at Work.

Hard at Work. Hard at Work. Hard at Work. Dude, that was the best title of our podcast. It was that. Hard at Work. Literally, Maria, I just did a whole podcast about this. And it's all my favorite tips.

But if I really think that just don't, and maybe you should make sure you're in a comfortable position and a lot of loop and you don't have to put your home out then so you get tired. Use a lot of hands, play with his balls, ask him what he likes. Also, we're going to put, we'll put this show in the show notes so you can listen to it. If you go to sexelmy.com. Thank you.

You're so wonderful. Okay, good Maria, you got this girl. You'll be great. All right, thanks for calling. Let's take an email. All right. Okay, this one comes to us from Frank who is 34 in California. Hi, Emily, I love you show.

I've been listening for about a month or so. My question is, how can I get my fiance to feel more comfortable about masturbating and also be able to fantasize as well? I want her to share with me her deepest desires and fantasies so I can help her achieve them. I love her and want her to be more open with her sexuality. Thank you for always helping so many out there Emily. Oh, thank you Frank, thanks for the email.

I love that you really want her to experience pleasure. The question though, how do I get her to, how to get her feel more comfortable masturbating and fantasize? You have great intentions here because it's true you guys having a fantasy life is part of having a healthy sex life. And so is masturbating and fantasize, you have great intentions here because it's true. You guys having a fantasy life is part of having a healthy sex life. And so is masturbating. What I'm thinking Frank is she's going to have to with your support kind of figure out what that means.

And it's going to like take a little bit more time than just one conversation or, you know, but there might be a reasons why she doesn't masturbate. There's a lot of women who don't, who never have, for many reasons. I mean, shame, guilt. A lot of women think, well, I shouldn't masturbate because I'm going to say why do I need to masturbate? I have a partner to do that. It's not even part of, like, it never occurred to them.

I know for some men, they're like, huh? Really? No, that's just how women are. And I often, a lot of what I do here is to encourage women to take a look at, to start slow, start thinking about things that things that have turned you on in the past. So Mrs. Whitby, you can help her.

One more thing I want to say is that another, the other wild card here is if women or men have experienced any kind of sexual trauma, this is also something that she's going to have to get therapy and work through. But let's just assume, let's just say for here, let's just talk about getting her more comfortable with fantasizing and masturbating and all those things, make it something that you do together. So how you're going to get it, how you're going to be able to do it, is to say, you know what?

I love you, I love you, my beautiful wife, and I really like one of my goals, one of my duties, as your husband and in our relationship is to make sure that we continue to grow and prioritize our sex life. Let's make a plan, let's talk about things that we can do together that would really make it amazing for both of us. And now she might not even know what that means, like she would be like, well, I don't know, everything you're doing is great.

Cause I know, I know that when I used to be asked those questions before I knew stuff about sex, I would be like, oh no, it's fine. Whatever you're doing is feels good or it's like, I don't know what I want. Like they'd be like, is this good? I'd be like, yeah, is this feel good? Yeah, like they'd be touching me.

I'd be like, yeah, cause I didn't know, cause I didn't do the work. And so it means that you could go on a mission with third explorer, maybe just ask her this, what is the top three times you've had sex and why that you remember the most? And then that would tell you, she's a idol fantasized, she might say,

well, that time you came up and kissed me from behind me, that I didn't know you were home yet, and then you threw me on the bed when down to me. Or the time you bought me that beautiful diamond ring, or the beautiful jewelry and something. So you need to, we were on the beach in Mexico and the waves were crashing. And now you're gonna know, okay, she likes being away.

She likes not having, you know, on vacation, I mean, who doesn't? Vacation sex is real. Or maybe she likes touch when you kiss her intimately, and there's four of play. So I think it just a matter of getting comfortable with the conversation around we're in this together, we are a team, we're going to make our sex life great. And then the masturbation thing, mutual masturbation, going to a sex toy store together and

going shopping and being like, what looks good to you? You know, we're listening to this show, a lot of a lot of couples just sit down with the podcast. If you're not into podcasts, we've got thousands of them wherever you listen to them, they're free. We also have all the shows on the Series XM app. I think they're good for a week. You can download them. We have 10 episodes right now. We have 10.

So right now, download them and listen together on a road trip or at the house. Because it's hard to talk about this stuff. I get it, but sometimes listening together, you know, she'll get inspired. So now she has to hear it enough. I mean, Jay, you've mentioned people you know that are close to you that are listening and they're like, oh, yeah, you know, maybe I should masturbate, you know, after you get a friend. And so after a while of hearing this stuff, you're like,

yeah, why aren't I masturbating, damn it? Like, I deserve pleasure and orgasms. They're good for my PMS. Well, they're good for my skin. They're going to put me in a better mood. Sign me up. People don't know there's health benefits to orgasm and then just, you know, the more we mastermate, the more we, the more we know our body, the more we love ourselves. It's literally called self love because I think we could all, you know, it's loving ourselves and I think we could all stand to love ourselves a little more in every way. So I feel about that Frank. Let's talk to Laura who's 28 in California and she wants to know why I can't her girlfriend orgasm.

Hey Laura, thanks for calling. Hi I'm Olivia thanks for taking my call. Of course. I had called like six weeks ago and so I just wanted to say thank you for that conversation. I was asking how to make a mouth with a newer. Yes, I remember. Yeah, you told me to just ask, can I kiss you? And I did that and it was great. Oh my God, and 60 Slater. You're so welcome. Sometimes you just gotta ask, it's a good move, right? Awesome. Okay, I'm glad that helped and glad you're coming.

So, it's going super well. Yeah, I mean, we're like a great match in a lot of ways, and we're exploring like kink together, and you know, having open conversations about what we like and wanna try. But she doesn't come with partners, and that's like her thing. And we're still, you know, doing our thing, having fun, exploring.

But I guess I'm just trying to figure out, is there anything I can do to support her in maybe being able to like move through that? So she's never orgasmed from anything you've done to her. So you've never seen orgasm yet? Right. I mean, I've definitely seen her like, I don't know how to call this, but like when there's like just more lubrication, she's been around.

Right, so she's been around, yeah. There's been turned on or make, yeah. Yeah, so, um, asher. I never like an appoint a climax. I mean, have you ever asked her why she thinks that is or is she just like, that's who I am? I don't come with a partner. I asked one of your questions that you probably told other people to try of like, what works for you when you're alone? Yeah.

And she said, it's nothing you're doing or not doing. It's just I'm in my head. Oh, okay. And then she bit in other relationships before with women. I think she's newer to it. Okay. I think what would be really cool is if you guys had a night at home where you guys are playing around and do some mutual masturbation.

Because that is such a good, if she's comfortable with that, which I hope she would be, you know, when you're both kind of getting off, then it's hot because then you're looking at her get herself off. But then also you're seeing what she actually does and how she touches herself and I know she might say, no, I can't even have anyone in the room, but I think that's a loving way for her to kind of try it out again without the pressure of orgasm. So that would be one way. And I think she wants to be able to orgasm with someone. Let's just say it's not that she can't.

She hasn't yet. And why she might not, I don't know. Like maybe she has some shame around it or she's, you know, there's just say it's not that she can't, she hasn't yet. And why she might not, I don't know, like maybe she has some shame around it or she's, you know, there's a million reasons, like she could feel like she doesn't like her orgasm base or she's embarrassed, she has to use a vibrator every time or maybe she's never orgasmed for all we know. I think if, if, her, so those are a few things, but then also she said she's in her head. And so when we're in her head, it's really important to, and you said you guys are

getting into some kinky stuff, what's really a lot of people who are into like BDSM and kinky stuff, it actually helps take them out of their head and into the moment because you're focusing on pleasure or pain, a roller playing, spanking or receiving or talking dirty. And so you're really actually present. So that might help you. And then also just general mindfulness. Like you guys are like making eye contact breathing together. You're, you know, you're listening to all your, you engage all your senses.

So you've got a candle lit that smells great and got really sexy music. And, you know, she's feeling the touch of her hands on your body and just practice slowing down and really being intimate together and maybe she can help move through some of her mind stuff if she feels really connected and safe with you. Can I ask a follow-up question? Of course. Yeah, so I feel like we're trying all these things, and I think we're both trying to kind of take the pressure off of like making sure she can figure out how to get there.

OK. But I guess in terms of the like mutual masturbation thing or supporting her in mindfulness, like is there a way I can talk to her? Do you have a suggestion of what to say that might help her feel comfortable like trying those things out? Yeah, I think what you should say to her

is the next time you see her, not when you're in the bedroom, you guys are hanging out having dinner or breakfast to say you know what? Yeah. These six weeks have been amazing. I think I really love the connection we have. I know we've talked about this before, but it would give me so much pleasure or it really turns me on. You'll know her language, but I would love to go on a journey with you where we can figure out

what turns you on. I think it sounds like maybe you've said that because you said you already did the not-precious thing, but I think it's a matter of saying you on. I mean, I think it sounds like maybe you've said that because you said you already did the not-pressure thing, but I think it's a matter of saying, you're safe with me, I think it'd be really how without the pressure, but like I would really be turned on helping you have an orgasm and helping you get there. I think it would really, you know, connect us even more, and I want you to know I'm here for you for anything,

and I think it'd be fun to try some new things out. And if any time you don't feel comfortable, I think it'd be really hot to see how you touch yourself. And we can light some candles, we can take a bath together, you know, just kind of just kind of lowering it, you know, your tone and just kind of making it more like, hey, like, what do you think about that? But I think it would, you know, be really hot and without the goal of orgasm. How about the goal of orgasm. How about the goal of exploration? And then also you could say, yeah, does that, you know, so just more like, I mean, like I think, you could try mutual masturbation, I mean, which one of those do you think she'd

be into first? Maybe the mutual masturbation. I mean, honestly, you could say, I was, do you tell your listeners to the show, I heard Maybe the mutual masturbation. I mean, honestly, you could say I do tell you listen to the show, I heard this thing, and I think it would just be so great because I could see how you touch yourself, that would turn me on, you can see what I do, I think it would be fun to play together. I love, if you guys are into kinky stuff, to me, that would be something that she might be into, because it's really fun.

So I think just putting it out there There's a page. Oh, so we're gonna do right now I have a page in my book called hot sex and we're gonna take a picture of it and we're gonna put it in the Instagram stories and it's about mutual masturbation So if you go to at sex, I mean you swipe up you can check that out But I think it's really just talking to her and letting her know that it'll enhance both of your, you know, that you just want to help her get there and all that and you support her. Find out more why. So yeah, I hope that helps. Okay. Yeah. Thanks for calling me back when it happens. We'll help you with the next things that come up because they always do.

All right, guys, I hope you enjoyed the show. I love doing this show. I love all of you. Thanks for calling in. Thanks for supporting the show. Thanks to my amazing team, Ken producer Jamie and Michael was a good for you email me feedback at sexwithemily.com