Sex With Emily - Finding Your Foreplay & Catching Your O's

Episode Date: January 9, 2016

It’s a fresh new year and on this show, Emily helps tackle your resolutions to make all of your new year dreams come true! Whether you want to expand your orgasmic horizons or you’re trying to find your foreplay sweet spot, Emily’s got the answers to set you on the path to a sexy and successful 2016!But first, Emily and Menace go over some Sex In the News about the BEST time of day for sex, and a new invention designed for pregnant women to play music inside the womb! Then, Emily answers your emails regarding foreplay anxiety, vanishing orgasms and threesome trepidation. Whatever your sexual roadblock, Emily provides the tools to break down your barricades and build better patterns for sexual happiness, so kick off the new year right and tune in today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to 2016 Lovers, time to get your sex and dating life back on track. In today's show, we're talking orgasms, foreplay anxiety, making your threesome dreams come true, and more. Thanks for listening. It's the new year, and you know what that means. Time to make those resolutions and get our lives in order. Now, I can't go to the gym for you, but I can help you get your finances in fighting shape, and that starts with checking your credit. But you can't just get your credit score on any old site. Trust me, I've gotten so dinged before, I paid $15 to check my credit at another site

for one month and was charged for an entire year. It was so annoying. So, let me give you a tip. Go to credit karma. They do things differently there. Credit Karma offers truly free credit reports with no strings attached. They don't even ask you for your credit card information

when you sign up. Plus, credit karma doesn't affect your overall credit score and it only takes two to three minutes tops. I didn't believe any of this, so I timed myself. I did this yesterday, it took me one minute and 17 seconds. That's it, I was done, there is my credit score. They don't just show you the score and send you in your way and you're like locked out of the site. They actually break it down for you so you can see how your actions affect your credit. It's very informative. Now you may not get to those crunches, which is totally

fine, but you can feel more confident about your finances this year. So visit creditcarma.com-save now to get your free report. That's credit karma dot com slash save Look into his eyes They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that mock our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them a bygone Hey, Emily you got a boyfriend because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

The girls got a hair stand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Emily? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my god. I'm so, so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithelene.com. You can check out all of our podcasts, set up our mailing list, which you totally should be at our mailing list.

Because, you know, we gave good emails around here. And check everything else out. Find some iTunes. I love you all. Thank you for listening to the show. As we're going into our eleventh year, right, Menace? 11th. That's crazy.

Oh, and we just released the 10-year anniversary show, podcast. I know. How do people like it? I'm sure they enjoyed it. It just released it. And I think that people are loving it. Apparently it sounds really good.

I haven't listened to it yet. I was there. Oh. No, but I won't listen to it. But it actually, you know, it was a wonderful wonderful light have we talked about it yet on the show? We just said that it was awesome and it was coming out. Yeah, it was awesome I you done texting or did you know no no? There was something that I failed to mention last time because I told everybody that I was traveling and I really wanted to mention this because

It's awesome and you're gonna love it too So I told everybody over break that I was traveling to New Orleans wanted to mention this because it's awesome and you're gonna love it too. So I told everybody over break that I was traveling to New Orleans, I was going to Honduras, I was going to Kazakhstan, Mexico, all these other places. And take trifecta, yes. Yeah, but because I was on a cruise and there's a port in New Orleans. But when I was in New Orleans, I ran into some listeners of the Sex with Lemmy Show. Like, I was hanging out.

My girlfriend and I was reigning. We were at this, by this cafe and this girl comes up to me and says, I listen to Sex with Lemmy Show. I love it and it was so cool. No way. In New Orleans. I love it. And I want to give her a shout out and.

OK. Well, fine. Thank you. New Orleans. I love having listeners in New Orleans. Yeah, that's why you do a traveling show there We should do our next live show in New Orleans. Oh my god. It would be a perfect place to do it I think so too. It's so happy New Year Happy New Year, you know how your resolutions coming. Did you make resolutions? Yes, I did you want me to to share them? Yeah. I want to. Yeah, save money.

Because I have been traveling getting too crazy spending money. And then connect more with friends. I think like I've been focused, oh, I have another thing to share. But I think I've been so focused because moving to Los Angeles, like, OK, we got the other show that I do the Woody show, the Morning Show. We have to make a name for ourselves in Los Angeles like okay we got the show the other show that I do the Woody show the morning show like

We have to make a name for ourselves in Los Angeles We really got to you know rebuild everything because no one knows us here and then just been focused on that for two years So I haven't my my best friend from high school lives in Los Angeles And I've only seen them twice. I know yeah, so it's been non-stop But it paid off and now I'm staying here for another three years That's great. You're saying yeah the Woody show Altman 8 7 in the morning and Los Angeles we were staying for three more years and now I can relax a little bit Right, that's good. So start to be more so yeah, it's so funny

You say that because I really I've we moved here about the same time you might have moved here a year after I did I was here for three years San Francisco for 20 and I same thing we moved here about the same time. You might have moved here a year after, I was here for three years, San Francisco for 20, and I, same thing, I moved here. It's been all about work, which is great. The sex and the show has been just growing, the whole brand, everything, I love it, love doing it, but I realized, gosh, I haven't really done a lot of social things, haven't made a lot of new friends.

I mean, I make people, but it takes a while, you gotta put energy into it and make efforts. So, that's a good one. I like it. So, I think that's it. I just really wanna reconnect with friends. I like it. So I think that's it. I just really want to reconnect with Forza. I want to like, you know, CLA. Like I really, I mean one mile radius of my whole life. No. Like how many times have we hung out since I've been here? No. No. Not one. I barely I just see you here.

I know. It's amazing, but it is amazing to see you here. Also I went to the I went to the Grateful Dead show in New Year's Eve. Just wanted to say that. I don't know if you love me. Yeah, oh my God, it was huge. We had like second row, the IP. It was amazing. Second row, the dead. Dude, it was amazing. I know. I love the dead, you know. That's kind of my thing. And it was fun. It was good. I, you know, I worked, but I kind of took some time off and reflected and thought about the same things you did that like God, I really want to now that I'm here. Work is great. I'm going to, you know, get a life. So that's good. I know. And yeah, so also January 16th and 17th, if you're listening to this, sexual health expo.

It's in Los Angeles at the Universal Helton Hotel. This is our fourth one. Okay, we started a year ago in Los Angeles. We took it around the country. It's been so successful. And I want you all to, I want to see you there. I'm going to be there doing a live show. Go to sexualhealthexpo.com for more information.

And we're giving way tickets. Are we going to have time for you to get tickets by now when they come out? Yeah, okay. So email me feedback at sextoly.com. Why you want to go? Each ticket is good for two people so you can bring a friend and it's top sex educators. You guys have heard me talk about it. We have the latest and greatest toys. It's going to be a good time. Two-day conference. Yes. All right. So I'm sorry. Yeah, you don't like it on my phone. I'm so distracted. I'm distracted by your distraction. I want to have our listeners. Okay. So uh,

Tinky, oh six on Instagram is who I met New Orleans and thank you so much for listening. Yeah, hi, Tinky. Tinky, what's up? Tinky, what are you? Sorry. I, I, I, I wish I, I wish I, I wish I, I wish I, I wish I, you have been here like welcome. I know I I really Wish I could remember your name, but I was completely drunk for like the past seven days there So yeah only seven days I got a drunk text from you in Las Vegas two weeks. I think you know I wasn't really I wasn't really drunk. No, you're so

I'm just saying I know cuz you miss me this is gonna be our year What else I feel like there's so many other things my brain, so we're just gonna go into some sex in the news. I feel like I just I'm happy seeing your hair so. Okay. God, I don't even like this word, but music tampon, which is super sexy, allows fetuses to listen to your mixed tape in the womb.

Oh, I saw that. Over the years, studies have shown music listen to during pregnancy may have a positive effect on babies after they're born, and some believe the auditory fetal learning can help later with the child's memory skills and brain development. A recent study has found that fetuses can detect sound as early as 16 weeks, so the event in resulting from the study in baby pod is a pink speaker that a woman inserts into her vagina like a tampon. It allows the fet, it allows the music

right from within the womb, and the ultrasound showed the fetuses are responding to the music by moving their mouths and tongues, is it they were performing like a lip sync, lip sync battle? I don't, I mean, I know. It's a red contact with the music, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know,

but I mean, if that's gonna do it, I think, but then can you drink too, or something? I mean, I feel like when you're pregnant, there's so many things things you have to do and now you gotta stick this thing in your vagina so your kids can learn music I thought it was a musical tampon You did yeah, why the hell would you have that? I don't know Go leave your period you really pissed you hate everyone and you want to kill one but here's some music in your vagina I just saw this thing online the other day where you hide your knee and tampons But here's the music in your vagina just for fun Hmm, oh You don't actually put those in you though. They're just to sneak them in a festival

Madison if you stuck a tampon in your vagina Weed has been in your vagina Um, and let's not Let's just say that no they make them so people can sneak drugs in a festival They're like tampon shells and you can like put like drugs in them, but you don't actually put them in you. They're just to hide from security when you get down. Okay, Madison, just full of information. Okay, experts say 3pm is the best time of day to get your freak out.

All right. So biologically, there's an ideal time for you and your lover to do the no-pian stance, 3PM, which is good for you. It's good for you. Yeah, dude, you can go on after the show and bang your profile. Yeah. It's 3PM, according to Daily Mail, because in the afternoon, women have high levels of the hormone cortisol, which helps alertness and they're most energetic.

Around the same time, men have elevated levels of estrogen making them more, making them more emotionally present during sex, which is what we all want. We just want you to look into our eyes and tell us what we're beautiful. And be present. So what's all about?

So what about morning wood though? Wouldn't you think that was the ideal time when you stick the dick in the back? Because well men sleep, they produce testosterone. It's a key hormone, obviously, in sexual rousal and levels peaks in early to mid morning meaning this is the perfect time for the men to have sex. I know didn't women they like having they like having sex in

the late at night right and then like to in the morning. And the morning because like I already have a boner right have you here you're not so I'm gonna stick in you. Why did she so goddamn complicated. I know why can't we all just get boners at the same time. Exactly well it's funny because I was out for drinks last night and I was out with this friend Carrie And then I ran into another guy. No, and if she's a reporter as well, she writes about sex

So I ran to my friend Matt and we started talking about for some reason. This is funny She said to me. He was telling me his crazy sex stories about girls And he said this one woman I was with It would like he's like we've been hooking up like a month and I Like I rolled over and I tried to have sex there and she got up and started screaming at me like, how dare you? Like, just start without even foreplay and just like putting it in like in the morning. Like, I'm not ready yet.

And did it. What a high maintenance. Dude, I know. I mean, like, goodbye. Like, that's the point. It's so easy to do it. I'm always like, down, barely awake. If it's good, if it's not, I slept a little more.

I slept through, you know, sleep sucks. So I didn't understand that. He had another interesting story. I will share with you, which was that. We were talking about a friend we even common, which I won't mention, but she's not, whatever. So then we both know, and he said, oh, I was sleeping with her and they never hooked up before,

but they were like, sorry, they were just started dating. They'd gone out a few times. And the first time they were like, sorry, they were just starting dating. They got out a few times. And the first time they were together, they got in bed and they were making out and she says, how do you feel about anal? And he was like, not sweet though. He was like, I love it. No, but she was saying that like she doesn't want to

commit me, she wants to take things slow. That was the preface to it. And then she said, I really, really like anal and I'd like to do that. And he was like, I just, he wasn't into it. It wasn't a thing and it kind of freaked him out. And he left. So I thought that was interesting that she played the anal card right that a lot of people kind of say that that she needs or requires. And he was saying it really was just not his thing. Although you're right, some guy would be very excited about it. So just mind of having penis though, too.

No, I don't think you're penis. You never know because there is a, sorry, I'm running on no sleep. But there was this, how do you say, transsexual? I just don't want it. I'll turn you into that. I don't want F and F. That's okay. PC police on me right now.

Yeah. But the, there was this one that you said come into this morning show that you said you're part of and that's what that was the move. Say that I was really into anal cell. Oh, so they didn't have to see the penis. Right. No, she did not have a penis. It was just. I didn't know. Have you checked? No, because the thing is I didn't tell this right. But the interesting part of the key he led by saying she was like listen. I want to take it slow I just heard by a guy save him like He's just sensitive and thoughtful I am guys are disgusting. No, he just wasn't he's like I don't even even made out and you're like saying you want it

Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm saying you know what I'm not having judgment here I'm just saying that I was told the girl that one an anal that I didn't want to do it 95% of guys out there be like fuck awesome. I don't think it's 95 Right away first time, but I could be wrong. Let me know feedback at techswee.com Let's get into emails because we've got so many emails to catch up on I love love when you email me feedback at sex with Emily.com And you guys take great orders because we do ask you to include your name, your age, and where you live. And no, there wasn't.

And how you listen? How you listen? So many orders though, I always feel like I let that one go. How you listen would be awesome. Yeah, like, oh, do you listen on my background? And in fact, people, right, this person is telling us here. So thank you, Emily. I love your podcast.

I listen frequently on my iPhone podcast app very helpful I love it so much that I even bought myself my very own magic wand after hearing so many Reveviews on your show. I mean you've been pimped in the magic wand for a month. Dude before I even pimped magic wand I love the magic wand. It's the best. My question is about orgasms. I first started masturbating in college when I realized I need to learn to get myself off before expecting a partner to. It was kind of like a shot in the dark at first rubbing until I would feel the final total body release all of a sudden. The past three years or so I've not been able to reach that final stage of explosion and

I can't figure out why. Of course, since I notice a difference, I can't help but think every time when I'm close if it'll happen, so I'm kind of mentally cock-bucking myself by doubting it'll happen. So she's about to orgasm and then she's like, I'm going to my, going to and then she can't. I'm still able to enjoy literal stimulation and love using the magic wand, but it's the same thing. I hit a point where it seems like my body can't handle any more pleasure and it just kind of stops. My whole body tends to sit up intensely and I can't get it to relax no matter how much deep breathing I do to continue this sensation. To me, I've been considering it as an orgasm as a late

But I can't help but wonder if my body is in fact able to get past the tense level and keep going see guys Don't have this at all. You're like I came I didn't come have you ever heard of this happening and had any tips for how I can get my orgasm back? Jay She did not include her name and how well she is by the way, but she did include her app that she was on the app. So she is orgasm blocking herself and she's kind of wondering if she's going to feel it and she's still caught up in her head that she's cheating herself out of enjoying it, which I think men and women have the same challenges when it comes to sex that we sometimes were in the bedroom, whether we're masturbating or the partner, you know, guys think, am I going to perform? Am I going to come too quickly if she into it?

You know, am I turning her on? What did she think of my penis? And women are thinking a lot of things like, you know, how does my body look? Will I be able to orgasm? But the thing here is, Jay, is that the arousal starts in your mind because our brain, largest sex organ. So she gets her brain on board before anything is going to happen with her body. So the problem is she's probably just going in and trying to masturbate like she did in the past and

like knocking one out. Like guys kind of do, right? You just want to just like whip it out. So you got to get your brain on board. So whatever turns you on, Jay, you might not even know. You can watch porn, you can read a rottica, think sexy thoughts, think about the last time you were with someone and how they really turned you on. And you know what you should do, Jay? Take the orgasm off the table. Say you know what? I'm going to spend the next week.

I'm not even trying to have an orgasm. I'm just going to get to know my body because you said that you already did this work earlier. The reason why you started masturbating, which was amazing, I want to clap for you, that you knew that the way to have the best sex and to be the most satisfied in bed is to first, it starts with you and to know your own body. So once you take it off the table, you just need to relax and say, okay, you know what? I'm just gonna start touching my body again and see what makes me feel good. We have so many origin zones, a lot of them, you know, our neck, our ears, our breasts, and tune into what your body is feeling. So it's like a seduction of yourself.

Like candles, again, like read a radical, watch porn, think about whatever you think about. Use a lube. Adding lube to masturbation will definitely enhance your experience. I promise you, women are more likely to orgasm in these lube and you can rub it all over your body. And just tune into what your body is experiencing when you get aroused. And so think about that. And if you start to feel tense, like you said, don't try to fight it.

Just like, oh, I'm feeling tense, you know, and then go back to your breath. And you said you already did the breathing thing, but that also takes practice. So just say, okay, I'm breathing deep breaths, like in through your nose, out through your mouth, like take it back to what you're feeling in your body, keep going back. And this might take you a few times. It might take you a month, but it's completely worth it because you know that you can orgasm. You know that you've experienced it before, and you know, you'll get back to that place,

but it's going to take a little retraining of your body. And you mentioned that you used the magic wand, and maybe of a sense of clitoris, if you have it cranked up to the highest setting and you're putting it directly on it, you could be overstimulating it So you could turn it down, you could use it over your underwear or put a sheet over you But you know, I just don't want you to rush it I want you to like actually this is a great experience for you because Perhaps when you learn to orgasm you were super focused on that and now you can learn you can start to focus on being more central with yourself and more intimate and

can learn, you can start to focus on being more central with yourself and more intimate and it'll be a bigger payoff. So that's what I gotta say about that. Organisms, menace, organisms, never-gazms. All about orgasms. Guys are like, I didn't come. What's written on it? It's like so annoying. I mean, it's very rare when a guy doesn't come.

I know. It's weird saying come to completion. You can say whatever you want to know. Don't you think though? It's very rare. But it happened. Well, men with delayed ejaculation or retarded ejaculation is actually what it's called clinically.

Intoxicated or men who just can't orgasm. It's common for men they can take an hour. They just can't orgasm during intercourse, but it's not as common as women who can't have orgasms during intercourse. I mean, I don't you think like 90% of women can't have an orgasm. 70% can't during intercourse. That's crazy a lot.

I think of how big that is, but that's a lot. It is, it's a lot. And it's probably majority of women you've been with, but the thing is that even if you can't naturally, when you're just with your partner, there are so many ways that you can learn to, again, most of them don't receive enough, literal stimulation during intercourse.

So you can use your fingers, you can use a hand, you can use a sex toy, you can use lots of lube, and rub yourself the same way that you do when you're having sex, and then just bring that, when you're having, when you're masturbating, bring that into your intercourse. See why you got... Why are you so complicated? Why so difficult? Dude, this is why we existcourse. See why you got... Why would you be so complicated? Why so difficult? Dude, this is why we exist. This is why we're doing this show.

It's so weird because I talk to my gay guy friends and they just say how easy everything is. They just look at each other. I know. And then if I look at you at a bar, I have to have this whole conversation. I gotta set up a second date. Right, you gotta be dinner, though have to have this whole conversation. I gotta set up like a second date. Right, you gotta be dinner though,

they're just already outside. Third date, then finally getting late, and then they're just looking at each other in like 10 minutes later, they're getting late. It's true, it's not a discount of the ticket. What the hell? I know what the hell man, you should have been a gay man.

Still, don't you like? But the sex hurts too much, I can't do it. How do you know? I'm just kidding. Don't knock it down. I got some toys you can check it out. You can probe that A.S. too. I'm good. I just not for me. I never thought of a man sexually. Okay, well we can talk about that. But I'm sure you have many times. Oh many times. Many times. But first I'd like to just give a shout out to our sponsors

who help keep the show free so you can all listen to it. So you know that I love my magic wand retargetal. Oh yeah. Of course it's from Vibratex, and that's a great company. But, they also have another great toy to try in 2016. This is the Rabbit Habit Original Deluxe. So, this is the rabbit that gave rise to the habit of people using their rabbit length when it was on Sex and the City, and it started at all, and a lot of people have imitated it, but they've never equaled it. And they even just improved it the rabbit habit.

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It has these turning beads in it. And beneath these body-safe materials, it transfers them. So you put it inside you. And then you've got these all the vibrations, you've got beads going around because the inner two thirds of the vagina is super sensitive. It has motion control. You can control the ears separately. So it hits your clitoris. So it's like a whole clitoral G-spot party barbecue. Good time. So if you didn't get one for the holidays, get one for yourself now. The Rabbit Habit Original Deluxe from Vibratex, American Company that's making pleasure pieces for 30 years. Go to Vibratex.com.

Support America. We need the help. We do. I think if people were using more toys and having more orgasms, we would be a much happier place. Okay? Yeah, we would Okay, four-play anxiety Four-playing anxiety that's what we got to talk about. Hi I'm gonna find out. Hi Emily. I'm a big fan of the show. I had a question regarding four-play I've heard you say many times that long four-play sessions will make for more satisfaction for my partner I've been amping up the four-play and just about every girl I've slept with seems no I'm just laughing because this is so you yeah Every girl I've slept with seems up the foreplay and just about every girl I've slept with seems no I'm just laughing because this is so you Yeah, every girl I've slept with seems all the happier which is great

However, sometimes I find myself getting a little anxious to get the whole Penetration part and I find myself getting slightly bored during a long session of foreplay and as a result I lose my erection is this normal Ramon I've been saying now, I've been saying this is your blood brother. No, no, no, no, because that's, okay, because of the time limit, I told you, is there is enough time because a guy, the moment he's kissing you, he's immediately erection, right?

Exactly. And then like how long you either, two things are gonna happen if you make out for a really long time. A is his, his, Wayne, his boner is gonna go down, right? What's the clinical way of saying it? Oh, you lose direction?

Inrection, right? Since when you were in some fancy, do you have me 2016? I know, I'm gonna hold the V, right? I know, what happened to you there, okay? And then so he loses his erection, right? And then the second thing is gonna happen is he's gonna be too excited when he actually does he does penetrate, right?

And then the sex is not gonna last that long. Right, well, okay. It's gonna just gonna happen. No, it's not, okay, that's what's happened to you but that doesn't, if you even do foreplay, but it doesn't have to happen. The reason we're laughing is because we've had a history on the show of me saying talking about for play and men says, wait, back up. How long? Like just give me like 10 minutes, five minutes, I have to go down

her for 10 minutes. Like, what's the max? You always want me to break that down for you. And there is not met. There's no magic number. But no, you are not alone. Happens to a lot of men, even men is here. Guys are so focused on the main event that four plays start to feel like it's a chore. They do. Mom, I'm doing it too long. Damn, and I gotta do that before I can watch cartoons. Two minutes, two minutes.

I know. Two minutes of four play? No. Two minutes of four plays, like we didn't even know you arrived. Okay, a man is in here with somebody. How much do you four play? Don't, not too close to the mic. Okay, four play probably about 15 minutes.

15 minutes. Yeah, men has already done ordering a pizza at that pal. What's that hell? Are you like, I did 15 minutes of for play when I was like, like, 18. Well, I'm happy that you have a girlfriend and you've been with her a while because clearly she doesn't care. That's awesome. No, seriously though.

I know, but 15 minutes, Jesus age. 15 minutes is minimal. Like men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men 15 minutes Jesus age. 15 minutes is minimal. Like men, men, men, men, men is, men is, men is, is saying on average, I mean, maybe. But sometimes could be longer. It could be longer. It's been longer for more and more. But 15 sounds about right.

And it is a requirement. So Ramon, you have to know that, like, it's not a suggestion. It is a requirement, but you just got to find a way to make it more arousing. 15, it's too long Ramon. Save yourself. You got to find a way to make it arousing for you. So you got to get turned on by turning your partner on.

You've got to pay attention to how she's responding, because I'm afraid that you're also inside your head remote. So, if you're truly turning around like the way you're licking her or touching her and the way she's moning and moving, that could be a experience that could actually really turn you on. But I'm fearful that perhaps you're in your head and you're thinking how much longer is this start working? Like you're clinically thinking about what's happening next.

And so you have to get out of your head. Don't treat like a clinical experience. Just let go and enjoy the moment. And it's also, you could use foreplay that benefits both of you. The good old 69. Five minutes. 69.

That's what I don't consider for play what I consider for play is Why just making out blow jobs for play? That's for play 10 years that's for play. Yeah, you think four plays only for women because women are always Clarence for playing for plays like making out and boob Technically it's broken down into for play and then intercourse which I think it's a spectrum and you really shouldn't making out and boob touches and it is. It is. It is. It's full on, technically it's broken down into four play and then intercourse which I think it's a spectrum and you really shouldn't break it down because sex is sex. You can just have a whole lot of four play that feels really, really good.

But, you know, yeah, four play is blow job or all sex. So you can have a blow job two minutes. That can factor your blow job. The world is changing my friends. Your blow job is just four. We just had four play, she blew me. Yeah. Like that's like, I don't know, that's kind of like a blow job. What is that for play? She blew me. Yeah. Like that's like, I don't know.

That's kind of like a big deal. This is me. That could count into the 15 minutes. What is like making out? It's making out. I care and she needs not considering a blow job for play. Well, you know, why is this P? It is.

It's it, but the way I talk about for play is because I'm talking about women typically require it to be warmed up before sex. It's not like we're like, oh, this feels really good. Like, I'd really like a massage shade. No, our parts can't work. It's like warming up your car in the winter. I'm a Michigan because they're like, drive. I'd like to warm my car for a few minutes where I could drive to school every day.

So it's her, her car, it's not going to work unless you do this, okay? It's something like that. I'm really like some foreplay. Give me a blowjob. What? Go home and see how that goes. You're crazy. Yeah. You could switch back and forth.

She could give you a little sucky and then you could go down on her. Yeah, it's for both of you. It's equal opportunity. Go. Mine blown. I feel like it's going down and you can blow jobs. You're already in the act going in the side. you're like in the beginning stage of like full-on Sex it's not like I don't know that does doesn't seem like you don't have to finish that way Do always finish when she's performing when she's going on you? No, I'm not gonna unless I want I want that to happen

You know right, but sometimes you can just warm you up that way. I'm sure you're already warm up. What happened? Let's move on to three-some-talk. That's crazy. Dude, it is. I can't believe this has hit you. I'm like, I don't even know what to do. I feel like I've been talking to the wall for 10 years.

All right, let's say this goes thing, because this is another thing that's been bugging me. That's kind of like the same in the same realm. We shouldn't be all right. Go, menace. When you say, when somebody says, it's what the younger kids these days. When they say, I hooked up, when you say, I hooked up with that person, that means you had sex with them, right?

No, we've taught, no, it could mean like I touched your boobs to me. No, we had anal. Yeah. No. Totally. Hell, no. That's not, we had anal. Yeah. No. Totally. Hell no. That's not-

Hooking up does not mean- No, it does. Hooking up means like, oh, we made out in the car and I- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no if they touched your boobs or anything else was involved, it's hooking up, which is a problem. Because when someone says we just hooked up, I don't know what that means. No, see, that's what it means. You have to define it more. So someone say we hooked up and I gave her a blow job.

She gave me a blow job for four minutes and then I went down to her for 12. And then we had sex. I used basically, kind of. When you had sex, that means I hooked up with that person when it's a Like talking with a friend with I talk to a friend and I didn't have Penetration with a girl and I would say oh and she only gave me a blowjob I want to say I hooked up with that girl. I'd be like that girl gave me a blowjob

That's because guys love talking about their penis is getting sucked to their friends No, that's not it because the definition of hooking up is having actual sex. It's not making out or feeling boobs or anything It's if you had sex that you'd say it's sex there You know you say I hooked up with her. That means having sex. I'm just trying. I don't know. I don't know I'm trying to clear it up for everybody. I think you're I don't I don't really know who like ruined it for everybody The goddamn Jersey Shore on MTV Why? Because they said everything was hooking up even if it wasn't like Even if it was sex or not having sex. But why do we really need to know anyway?

We just know that they exchanged some fluids Oh, no, yeah sex with that person or not You want to know if it was penetrative like penis in the vagina? You can ask. You can't just say I go on around saying I hooked up with that person if you didn't have sex with them Yeah, all the time. I maybe that's my girls talker like oh, yeah We could hooked up a little we might say that we went yeah, we that doesn't mean of course okay, I'm sorry But you know, I don't that's okay. What do you think feedback at second? I'm subsading are the new Twitter poll do it Twitter poll. Oh, yeah follow me on Twitter and Instagram

It's all at sex with Emily like my Facebook page, which is yeah I'm freaking taking off. I love it. It's still taking off. It's been around forever But you like I'm gazillion likes a rig because we people like us. I love it. Here we go Three so hi Emily. I'm a woman in my late 20s in New England And I recently discovered your podcast. I've been joining it on the pod pocket cast's app I only ever had sex with men before and I'm extremely interested in playing with women also. A possible 3-some situation has come up with a man I've had casual sex with a few times and his other female casual partner who I've never met. Neither

the man nor I have ever had a 3-some before but I don't know about the other woman. I think a 3-some sounds great in theory but I don't know how logistics would work. How do you make sure everyone's safe without ruining the mood since we all have other partners as well? How do you keep anyone from getting left out? I usually stay really focused on my partner during sex and like a lot of body contacts. I'm a little nervous about focusing on two people at once. I'm also nervous about the other two who will be more into each other than me and maybe only one left out. Any advice or tips you would have, you have would be greatly appreciated things in advance, Jessica, totally normal concerns.

She just laid out every single concern that people have in three sums. So Jessica, I'm gonna give you some details here, but also we've done a lot of shows in three sums, blogs, everything, so go to my website if you wanna read more in specific detail, but these are normal and everyone thinks of these things.

But before you head to the bedroom with these people figure out If you guys are gonna work as a trio So I would say get together for drinks see if you like her see if it's interesting get dinner together the three of you Discuss it beforehand, you know, you don't be like hey, you know, I'll have a dirty martini So we all have a threesome. I mean just see how you guys get along and how you jive and make sure there is no jealousy Make sure there's no weirdness or possessiveness between you guys because you said your casual with him and that she's casual with him but you might find that once you're with them and you see with someone else you might get a little jealous, she might get a little, you just don't know what's

going to happen. So first you know and also check your own feelings and make sure that whenever like I don't know I just check you and be like oh miss casual it's cool that maybe there's a little more there I actually have to say that my best threesome My award winning threesome of my life was in a very similar situation because it was a guy that I was truly casually dating I was getting other people and he was dating other people and he was with a woman and she's like she's never been with a girl before do you want to Have it together and I was like, yeah, never been with a girl before. Do you want to have a piece of it? Put it together. And I was like, yeah, let's go have a drink.

So we went to the lone palm in San Francisco. Oh, wow. Do you have a lone palm? We met for drinks there. I remember I had a picture of you with my dog there. Anyway, what else? So the dog for our donnium. So, and we met for drinks and we hung out and it was really fun.

And I'm like, yeah, she's cool, hop. We went back to our house and it truly was truly was this we all talked about it was like this amazing threesome because we were not attached in a committed way because there's a whole other host of issues if you're in a relationship and you're thinking about having a threesome like you got to have and you should also set boundaries this way but this way like you really are all experiencing each other you all you know everyone wants to be pleased no one's there you know holding a video camera and you're all on a level playing field. You're not like one couple

you know, coupled out. So these concerns won't be bothering you in the moment. I promise you, typically you're not going, well, if she's touching his, he's giving him a blowjob and no one touching me, it just sort of flows together like a dance. And so they won't be bothering you. And if you're all like minded and you're in it for the same reasons and you all just really want to have a threesome together, it will happen. Just also, again, make sure boundaries are set ahead of time because he might be saying, she might say,

like, I don't want to watch you if sex with her. I mean, you guys are going to talk about this stuff. Just say, hey, is there anything we don't want to do? And then finally, word about safety. If he's going to have sex with both of you, he has to change the condom in between. He just do, so have a stack of condoms there. That's how you keep safe.

Tell him to get good time. I don't know if I would ever have a three-some that I already have to do all those rules, you know? What do you mean? Like, oh, yeah, she can't do this, she can't do that type thing. I mean, for each couple, it's different. Like if you're... Because I think you're just sending herself up, she can't do that type thing. I mean, for each couple, it's different. Like, if you're... Because I think you're just sending herself up

for disaster if you do that. Well, but if they're like, a lot of couples who are together and they decide they're in a really good place, they're strong, this is when couples should have a threesome. I'm like, oh, it'd be kind of interesting to bring someone else into the mix. The kind of rules you set are, you know,

he can't have penetrative sex with her. She can't sleep over. There's no kissing. It's a point of having a threesome of this like that. can't have penetrative sex with her. She can't sleep over. There's no kissing. It's the point of having a three-some of this like that. I don't know, I'm just, people have their own things, you know? I just, that we want to win. If somebody says that, then they're not ready for it.

I'd rather just go back to watching porn. Yeah, because you're, you're just sending yourself up for nightmare. That obviously that person is a jealous person, and they're just gonna hold this whole three-sem thing over your head for the rest of your life It's gonna mess up your relationship. No, no, no We should have it if they're not in the salad place in their relationship. Don't do it. Don't do it Yeah, so I think that's what we got time for is that correct? It was great seeing you Emily

You too happy here happy new year, and I'm happy to stay here in Los Angeles for three more years. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. And since we're gonna like both have the same resolutions of hanging out more. Yeah, we didn't say that directly, but I know this is gonna happen. Oh, no, no, no. Definitely. Well, I mentioned earlier in the show, I was like, how many times did I hang out? Zero.

I only see here. And it's epic though. Every time I see you. But every time we hang out, it's a good time. I know. I love it. I'm hooking up some type of cable for you. And then we have hang out, it's a good time. I know. I love it. I'm hooking up some type of cable for you. And then we have drinks.

Will you come over and hook up? I'm gonna get up now. You're Sivian? I get to hook the power. Sivian works just fine. It was the easiest thing to set up. But I am making new TV. There's a lot of rain recently.

I know. I'm making sure you're going to go. I know. Super Nino. Oh, what do I need to do? I gotta hook up a generator to that thing or something for you. Am I Sivian? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. God forbid Super Nino. Oh, what do I need to do? I gotta hook up a generator to that thing or something for you. Oh my Sivian? Yeah, exactly. God forbid Super Nino Someone fixed my goddamn Sivian. What am I gonna do? Oh my god, that'd be tragic. Okay. Well, happy new year. Thank you

Menace and file menace everywhere at menace. Yeah, right? Love it. Oh, my dog, my baby. I miss her. She's my dog,urro on Instagram. My dog Churro, she's out of town in San Francisco, but she'll be home soon. Okay. I dropped it off before I did my troubles. I've actually last night when I couldn't sleep. I was up to 4 a.m. When you woke up and like my Instagram photo, I was like, oh my god, my nose is going to work

and I'm going to sleep. But I thought to myself, I really am ready for a dog. Like I felt like I wanted a dog in my bed. Oh, you're welcome. Is that weird? Yeah, I'm ready. So I can dog sit. You did a cool dog like mine. She decided to Yeah, I'm ready. So I can dog sit.

You've got a cool dog like mine. She just hanged out. Yeah, maybe. I'll dog sit. I'm so moved by dog sitting. I know, I know, she's the wrong dog. It's like a bad alleged joke. My dog last time was here, she just laid on a table.

I know, and you remember Stanley? I wish I could have Stanley Anderson's dog when I can't because his dog and he loves him. Okay. Thank you everyone for listening to the show. I love you. And thank you Madison. And thank you Lori and Alyssa and Menace. I love you. Thanks so everyone for listening to the show. I love you and thank you Madison and thank you Laurie and Alyssa and Menace.

I love you. Thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. Okay, when thanks for listening to the show. And I gotta know, what's your New Year's resolution this year? You wanna learn to cook, stay in shape, get in shape.

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