Sex With Emily - First Loves & Freaky Fetishes

Episode Date: December 12, 2015

With the holidays just around the corner, it’s the time of the season to think of our loved ones… or lack thereof, as the case may be. In this podcast, Emily and Producer Madison are taking to your emails and answering some of your top sex and relationship questions to help you get to where you want to be in your love and sex life. For all you online daters out there, how do you handle getting ghosted by a seemingly promising prospect? And for those already in a relationship, what’s the best way to get your partner to turn up the heat in the bedroom? Emily and Madison help these listeners master the intricacies of communication and find new methods for sexual fulfillment, whether it’s through rougher sex or a lesser-known fetish. They also discuss the common issue of wandering minds in couples that have settled down with their first love. This show fires on all cylinders of sex and relationship issues. From first dates to first loves to urethral sounding and more, today’s podcast is sure to teach you something you didn’t know before. Don’t miss it! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, we're answering your top sex and relationship questions. Are you having difficulties with online dating? Could your sex stand to be a little bit dirtier? And how do you share your deepest sex desires with a new partner? We're tackling all this and more, so stay tuned! Okay, everybody. I know I've been talking to you about the Sibian and it's time for my weekly Sibian update

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no prude, but my husband and I have an average sex life three to four times week, mainly missionary or me and top. I would rarely orgasm. Sex was just me taking care of him. I'd always want to try a vibrator, but it was too shy to tell him. So I teased him a bit and then told him. He was thrilled. We went out and ordered one. When it arrived, he made me come four times. The first time I used it, this is a whole new world, so thanks, Frankie.

Okay. Do you hear what other happy customers have to say about their sex life changing sibians? Order order yours. Go to sibian.com. That's s-y-b-a-n.com. Use code Emily75 and get $75 off your first order. Check it out. Thanks for listening. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred

institutions. Betrubize they call them in a fight on day. Hey, Abelene, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard, oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, what do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm on for sale, I'm on for sale.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Abelene's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemle.com where you can check out all of our podcasts, read our blogs, we update every day, videos, toys, products. It's a good time there at Sex with Emily and also sign up for a mailing list. Please do that, because we've got lots of exciting news to tell you all the time.

And people like our emails, we give good email. And we don't spam you. It's a good time to check it out. Thanks to everyone for listening and happy holidays. And I'm here with Madison. Producer Madison is hanging out with me today. Hello. Hi.

Good to be here. Good to be with you. How are the holidays coming up? Yes, yes they are. Very quickly. Very to be with you. Howlities are coming up. Yes, yes they are. Very quickly. Very quickly. I know, how did that happen? I have no idea.

Last time I checked, it was summer. And. You were just sweating your asses off in July in the office. Like, I don't know what happened. We were just sweating your asses off in November in the office. That's the whole. It's been crazy. You're right.

It's finally cold here. I was like 59 degrees. I'm like, I was gonna call like a state of emergency. Yeah, it's beautiful. I wore socks to bed last night. I know, it was crazy. I'm like, wait, layers? I don't of emergency. Yeah, it's beautiful. I wore socks about last night. I know. It was crazy. I'm like, wait, layers.

I don't get it. So it is the holidays. And I just wanted to give a shout out to all of you and happy holidays, whether you're in a relationship or alone, sometimes it can be. It can be trying for people. The holidays, because of a lot of emotions, people in relationships, sometimes it can be a trying time. Because at the end of the day, we all just want to like, you know, we have time off of work

and we want to be able to, you know, spend time with our partners and our families but yet you get so caught up with the stress and the shopping and them. Everything you're supposed to be doing that it almost can feel like a second job. It is, especially when you have to split between different families.

Two families. Yeah, exactly. It's so stressful. And then when you throw in like a lot of families, you know, children of divorce, you've got sometimes like four different family. Yeah, exactly. It's so stressful. And then when you throw in like a lot of families, you know, Children of divorce you've got sometimes like four different families. You have to hit over the holidays. That is stressful in itself I'd be like I'm just staying home. Right exactly like I'm out piece of Christmas. Sorry, Santa So I just want to give her a reminder that this is a holiday and it's for you and you should be choosing to do the things that you want to do and taking care of yourself You know if you want to reconnect with your partner,

like a quick massage, people think I got to get a massage table and hold the thing, like just kind of take time to spend time in your, you know, give just 10 minutes. It's a huge stress reliever. Stress is a big killer of your sex drive in over the holidays because you spiked up to crazy levels. So just, you know, take time to connect.

And if you are alone and you don't have a partner, you know, make sure that you make plans with your friends. It's a great time to catch up with friends and people you love. And really, like, the trending Ted friends giving, you know? Oh, yeah. Like, it makes sense. Like, these days, we all move, a lot of us move away from our families, and we create our own families in different cities.

So, your friends are your families. So, just take care of yourself. And happy holidays, everyone. I love you. Yes, please do. And so yeah, we're going to be talking about some emails. We got some emails today. So thanks for everyone for emailing us.

You got some sex in the news. Yes. And we can get into that. Yeah, just jump right into it. OK. A California woman claimed she was duped into renting a mansion for porn films. Okay, so this woman, the owner of a California mansion, alleges that she was duped into renting

out the property via Airbnb to a firm that produces hardcore gay promo films. Left the 1920s property awash in anima kits, various sexual devices, and assorted bodily fluids according to the lawsuit. This is gruesome just to read this, okay? I read it and I was like, I want to move after this, right? Yeah. You'll think like someone's murdered or you're going to move like this feels like her house was murdered.

Listen to this. It's 80 miles northwest of Los Angeles, Ohio, which is actually a really lovely town. It looks peaceful. It's so peaceful, so tranquil. A group of friends, so she was told that a group of friends would stay at the home, it's $1,000 a night for a quick summer vacation. And in the November 19 court complaint, she alleges that Anna, the purported renter, was actually Andre Trivius, the gay porn active director, writer, no, and professionally

is Michael Lucas. And she charges that she gave the keys to the property to him who poses Anna's brother-in-law. They really had a whole thing going here. And so then she said that Anna's was still en route. And she says the lawsuit is for fraud, negligence and trespassing, but check this out. She claims that endomakits were found throughout the house on the floors and the beds. In night centers and in the trash, various sexual devices were found in the beds and the trash linens were stained brown. The hot tub water was brownish in color and that it alleges there was urine semen fecal

matter. We're found in the linens carpet to pull you guys can turn off the show because I everywhere while it's stealing it in the hot tub. So porn a grab and there was like porn for images and films made of this property will damage this reputation and image and then she resorts the black light You know the black like no black light that you put to see like where so the presence of Bali fluids The property according to complain has replaced soil linens and all that stuff like you could see how much like calm was ever at the But in the day. Oh my gosh. I hope she first of all. Why wouldn't they clean it up? I mean, I just recently stayed in the Airbnb.

Like, I had a whole house full of friends, like eight people. We went to this Airbnb and we, it was like a drill. Like, this is not like, go, go, go, everyone get your linens, everyone clean up. And to the dishwasher, like, they have like a full list of things that you have to accomplish before you leave where you don't get your deposit back.

Right. And to four, like, eight post grad students were like, we got to get our deposit back. Right. And to four, eight post-grad students, we're like, we got to get our deposit back. But I guess these guys were just like, screw it. I know, but really, it's just disrespectful. I think that people are important. We really, like, animals, I feel bad for this one. So I have to ask for producers a bad name, honestly.

I know, not all porn sets are bad. This never went to throw your condoms. That's the way it's just where you do your buried in the trash. Anyway, I feel bad for her. And that might be the last time she runs out of place. Yeah. OK. That's funny.

It's going to damage the reputation of my home. I mean, I don't want an exorcism to burn some sage or something. Or something. Or something. Should we find honey? I'm sorry about that. OK. Facebook announced its new tools to help users avoid

access after breakup. I found this entertaining because it's not that thorough. But I like that they're thinking about us, right? Facebook is gonna help you move on. They're gonna be like you knew BFF. On Thursday, November 19th, the social media platform announced new tools to help users avoid their exes after break up. Starting today, they're testing tools to help people manage how they interact with their former partners on Facebook after a relationship is ended. When people change their status, relationship status to indicate they are no longer in a relationship, they'll be prompted

to try these tools. The new features include numerous options such as not seeing an ex's updates without having to unfriend or block that person. And also, we're not suggesting name when tagging or starting to meet my one-it-tag bomb. Now I broke up with that asshole. Another tool also lets you just limit the photos, videos, and status updates that a former partner can see. Worried about what you post in the past? Have no fear. Facebook will also let users edit who can see their posts

with a former partner and untag themselves from those posts. They were tested on mobile devices, and they were trying to get easier for you back. Now here's my question about this. First of all, can't you do that anyway? You could easily not block people but have just choose what friends see. I think so, but you'd have to go.

I mean, it would be like an intricate thing. Like every time that you posted, every time it's been tagged you and something, you'd have to be like, oh, hold on, let me choose who can't see this. It's like, I think it'd be kind of cool if you could just set a certain person. Like, you go to this person's page and you're like,

hey, I only, for instance, me. I only want my mom to see certain things. Did you know? No, I mean, my mom and I have a secret. How about you, my mom's parents? But she always comments, oh no, I'm not friends with my boyfriend. Oh, thank God. I'm friends with my boyfriend sister.

Oh, she tells that. And honestly, she's been trying to hide that she works here for years. I mean, they know now, but they don't know the extent of it. Like, I look at some of this stuff. You know when you look at your, you probably don't. Because the jig is up for years. I mean, they know now, but like they don't know the extent of it. Like I look at some of the stuff, you know when you like look at your, you probably don't because the jig is up for you. But I like look at my profile and I'm like trying to see it from like another person's perspective.

Like what would someone else think of me if they looked at this? Not good. Well, but yeah, but then if you dig into it, we're having a little better sex. But when it's like, you know, Madison's sending the anal sex workshop, that could be a little, you know. It's not only that, I have like a really weird sense of humor. Yeah, if anyone wants to follow me on Facebook, I post them like everything,

it's just like curse words and like ridiculous. Yeah, what's your face to? What's your Facebook and stuff? It's just, yeah, it's just Madison Price. I have two, I have a work one, and then I have a normal one. But it's the picture of me, because I had to do a work one for our first book.

Oh, right, yeah, they like to, they like to shut us down to this book. Currently, the profile picture is of me in a full-sized bag. I'm in an American style bag at Macy's. So that is my profile picture. Look for it out. Also a section like our Facebook page on the section.

I don't like it. But this feels weird. They're trying to hide like what is it like they're like, they're like, sound, they're gonna send us the thing about the jerry's and flowers too to make us get over the breakup. Gosh, I hope so.

You know what they could do? Just make me stop hurting inside. It stop doing the on this day memory feature Can I tell you how many like just bad days have been ruined by like on this day three years ago? You were in college having like this this and I know like damn it I like my only worry then was like wait You have it too for final and to be like pictures of like friends that you're not friends with anymore Yeah, let's have them limit that. Yeah And let's have them limit the news feed. Oh yeah, I can use that.

I'm gonna see any of that. And you know, whatever. Face, but thank you. But thank you for showing me stuff, Facebook, gosh. I don't want to see all that. And we have ads suggested posts and all the elite daily stuff, which I just think is disruptive. You should read our blogs instead.

Okay, well, so we can get into some emails. Let's do that. Okay, so things are run for emailing us, feedback at sexwithalemy.com. And you know what I love? I love that you're all really paying attention and that you are sending us your name, you're including your name, how old you are,

and where you live, and how you listen. Yeah, it's so helpful. Okay, online dating can under. Dear Emily, I love your show. It makes my work stays so much better. Three months ago, I moved to New City and I've been dating online. So far, I've met up with our own 10 people

and I felt a spark with just two of them. Both dates began with a fun dinner, drinks, and conversation that revealed that we can make each other laugh and have things in common. Then came some hot, making out, and one case, a sleepover that didn't involve sex. I love that she's like telling us,

like, don't worry, I didn't sleep with them. I'm very specific. I don't care if you're banging up, just use protection. Then in the days following the date's crickets. Crickets, they did not follow up. In both cases, I sent a low key, thank you, reference something funny that happened. We went out to indicate my interest

and heard nothing back. I'm wondering, is there something about the energy I'm sending out that's turning off these men that I'm attracted to? Being new to the city, I don't know very many people, but stay busy with my work and personal projects and lead a very full and interesting life, which is the impression I try to give when getting to know someone. That being said, I go and date you because I very much want a relationship. That's not the dumb thing I ever say verbally on a first date. This is so frustrating because I usually get asked out again by the guys who might feel no chemistry. I've always dated and been attracted to emotionally unavailable

men. So I'm sure this is part of the problem. How can I change the vibe I'm exuding? Best wishes and thank you, Lauren, age 27, listening in an overcast Omaha, Nebraska. Hey, Lauren. This is a great question. I really appreciate it. It's such a common scenario. It's like the disappearing man or the ghost. Like got you ghosted. Ghosting, right? And women do it too, but we don't get it.

We scratch our heads. We just took a date. He said he'd call and he doesn't call. And I know it can be really frustrating. And sometimes women, we even tend to like that guy more because they don't call, right? And we're wondering what happened? like, why did he vanish? And why do my disappear? And there isn't just one answer to this, okay?

Lauren, we don't know you, we haven't met you. And typically, there are several reasons why you guys didn't call. And typically, just because they're really just, you know, they're not interested. They could have another boyfriend. The girlfriend, they could have, you know, just have other things going on. Met someone else the next day.

And they don't know at a time. Oh my gosh, that has happened to me several times where I'm like dating a guy I don't hear from him. And I found out he just met someone like right after me. You're like, oh, yeah. But it's, I mean, that means that they're better. There's, there's better someone better for you.

Is it silver lining for that? It is, it's silver lining for that. And also, you know, you've probably had times learn where you weren't into someone and you just said, yeah, and then, because you're into someone else. So, you know, you don't wanna hurt feelings, maybe they didn't wanna hurt your feelings,

but there's no really easy way to say, right there, you're nice, but no, because no one wants to have that conversation in the moment. So, I also, and Madison, I talked with this, and you might disagree with the Madison, but I suggest not sending a thank you text after. Now, this is something that I'm a huge thank you, I've great manners,

I thank people all the time for things they do. But these days when it comes to dating, I feel that sometimes that just wait for... And I'm a feminist. I believe that women should ask my now. I do, but sometimes I think maybe in your text, the follow up the next day, and this is from polling, this is like talking to guy friends all across the board and they're like, oh, well, there could be something in their mind. It's not even kind of, well, she's already know she's interested. She wants me to ask her out again and they feel this weird pressure. And I would just say wait against that because if he likes to he's going to contact you either way.

Yeah, I don't think honestly I don't think I understand where you're coming from. I don't think that it's anti-feminist to be like, hey guys don't respond well to this. That doesn't mean like, yeah, you can keep doing you, you can keep sending out those thank you texts, you can send them, you can send all of your one night stands home with a beautifully written handwritten thank you note. But if it starts to like time and time again, it doesn't work out, you should try something different. Exactly. It doesn't mean you're not a feminist, it doesn't mean that you're not strong or independent or confident. Any of that just means like, hey, if it's not working out, maybe you want to try something different. Right. So that's one thing I would just like, yeah, that's a good point. I would just strike that from your patterns there.

And you also mentioned the guys you weren't interested all came back around for more dates, but the two you were drawn to disappeared. And then she also mentioned Lauren, you mentioned that emotionally, she's attracted to the emotionally unavailable. So I'm assuming the guys that you had these little hookups with kisses might have been like

these emotionally unavailable men. Got a bad picker. Bad picker, your picker, your picker could be broken. And that just means that the guys that you're naturally attracted to are not necessarily the right guys for you. Or they're not looking for what you're looking for. Exactly, they're not, clearly not.

Because they're not following up with you. So, and the other thing is that, oh yeah, okay, let's go back to the picker thing first. And there's another point is that, you know, it just means that you're drawn to men that aren't good for you. And as you mentioned, you're a track of type of guys who are more like to go to the know-call back. So duty dating, we talk about this a lot.

Going out with the guys that you wouldn't normally pursue. Like the guy who you're looking at across the bar and your eyes are like, oh, he's the one. That's when you turn the other way. But if you're dating online too, maybe there's a guy that you're like, oh, he doesn't have this or that. And maybe you just try to duty date this guy. You're like, I'm just going to match with them.

He doesn't look like my guy, but there could be something there. And this helps you practice just dating. Dating other types of people. They got all works and doesn't. And you can end up meeting another guy. There you go. So I drew a Lori, one of the girls in the office, Lori. She actually just wrote a really great blog about how she taught herself how to do de date because she was repeatedly interested in these guys that like, you know, weren't doing well for her and weren't serving her very well, weren't helping her grow. So she started seeing a guy who she wasn't immediately drawn to. And after the first date, she was like, he's amazing.

I don't know why I wouldn't have given him a chance otherwise. That's just how it works. You think that you know what you want, but you can be wrong. Right. That is a great blog. And Lori, I mean, it's funny because she's worked, God, six months in the office. And I have seen a change in her because she's getting over a toxic relationship. And her blog, you should check it out.

The blog is called Self-Tot Lessons Insects and Self Love. It's a great blog. It talks about her patterns. Because a lot of us think we're stuck and we can't change this pattern. So Lauren, I do think this would be helpful for you. And then also, the other point I wanted to make is, okay, this is the other thing. You're showing how busy your life is and you have full life.

It might also sound like you don't have a lot of free time today and that could also be intimidating. So maybe just try to talk about some of your personal interests and things that you like doing as well. But I think these are some good points to be learned. I think that you, I think it's great that you're in New City or in your out there out there dating, but just don't get too tripped up

on the guys that don't call, like you gotta just keep moving. It's the numbers game. Absolutely. So that's what we gotta say, and then else, okay. I think it's just good tips for anybody online dating. Honestly, not just you learn, but like everyone could learn for a little bit of this, just like, do de-dating all of that, I think a lot of girls

suffered this exact thing to know. Exactly, exactly. We all, we've all been through it. And that's how everyone's dating now. So, okay, hi Emily, I listened to your podcast through the Pod Cruncher app. I recently started dating a guy, and although the sex is great, he's very vanilla.

I love his body, and he definitely knows how to use it. But sometimes I just want to get down and dirty instead of making romantic love. It seems like every time I try to take control in Switzerland's positions, he always pulls you back to missionary. I keep picturing her like on top of me saying, how can I encourage him to just fuck this shit out of me on occasion? Thanks Rosa, 23 year old, 23 years old Phoenix, Arizona. God damn every moment. I gotta get it. It's like a public. I can't get guys to fuck this

out of you. I don't know. Honestly, I'm just thankful to Rosa for writing that. So you got to say that on air. I know. I feel like you never say that. I try not to swear usually, but I was like, I try not to cuss. I just do it every other breaking moment of my day. For emphasis though. That was good. But it is true because the truth is I think there's a lot of them and it's like why I want you to throw in the bed and take my clothes off. And then remember like oh, because I mean you want to break guys like I don't get it aggressive. There's a fine line.

There really is a fine line. And it's very hard to ask for the kind of sex that you want. But that's what having great sex doesn't just drop in your lap. And if you are somewhere right now, let's say you've been together a month or two and you think oh, it's the best ex-hacker, believe me. Eventually, we all have to have a conversation about what we want. The beginning can be great, a lot of times,

but there's going to be some tweaks. So I get that it's frustrating. And you've even tried, which I appreciate. She's tried to get on top, and he throws her back. He only throws her down to get it back on bottom. And it's picture him putting her in the sleeper hold and kind of like moving her back underneath him. I know.

I mean, there could be so many reasons. Like why he might have, I mean, who knows? 23 maybe isn't how a lot of experience, makes him uncomfortable. Yeah, I mean, a lot of guys just aren't confident enough to really like be able to take control of that because they don't know how you're gonna respond to it. And their biggest fear is you, you know, freaking out.

Maybe they had like a past girlfriend who wasn't into that. That's a big one. A lot of men learn mistakenly and this is something that you know for 10 years I remember talking I've been talking at the beginning I used to do this all the time and it's funny because we were talking about this yesterday that it is true that so many men they think just because they're other partner wanted you you know, she only liked missionary. She only came this way. She didn't like dirty talk.

That's what every single woman the everyday is going to want. And I'm sorry, I'm here to tell you that this is good to know. Every woman's different. Every single body is different. What they want is different so that could be it as well. And so it's women's duty to let their partner know what they like, but there's a approach. You got to do it because feedback is hard. You can't just be like mid sex and he wrestles you down to the missionary know what they like, but there's a approach. You gotta do it because feedback is hard. You can't just be like mid-sex and he wrestles you down to a missionary and you're like,

no, just fuck me from behind. Exactly, exactly. You're not working on it. Yeah, because typically when we're in the bedroom, our minds in an altered state, we're not taking in new information. If you tried to give me directions or told me so, I wouldn't hear you, okay? I don't talk to me in the bedroom. So it's outside the bedroom.

Neutral situation. I always think the car is great. You're on a road trip, you're having a breakfast, not like I'm looking at each other. That's what I think Charlie Glickman said, right? Charlie Glickman, your eyes look at each other. Yeah, because sometimes the eye contact thing is hard.

So also whenever you're having these conversations about sex, you want to approach it, like it's not like it's in the world like we need to talk. This is what's happening. It's like you want to keep it fun and light. And you know, you can also like make it into a fantasy. Like tell them that it really turned you on.

Like what would be so, you know, tell them like, God, you know, our sexist, you know, so fun. I love that. I think it could be so fun. Like, you know, sometimes I kind of get on top or what she wants them to take control. It's just, she's pushing. She wants it to be dirty.

She wants them to like, you know, she wants them to really give it to her. And like she's pushing. She wants it to be dirty. She wants him to like, you know, she wants him to really give it to her and like maybe like, I don't know exactly what dirty constitutes, but you need to figure that out first. What exactly do you want? Do you know what you, what, do you know what dirtier means? I mean, she says after shit out of you,

but like, have you guys whine? I'm like, I'll say after I'll shit. Do you guys ever, I don't know. He probably watches porn. I'm assuming most guys do. I mean, maybe he's really against it, but it could be fun to say, babe, how many of them are there? I don't know. Doesn't say okay. So here's the thing. When you're having a start with them, you know, our

sex is so fun. Let's do something fun together. Let's have date night. Let's go to your like local sex toy store or you can even go online and go shopping and go to adameneave.com. Be like, hey, I was listening to this podcast. We get, you know, it was a special deal and pick out things together that you want to try and what interests him. Talk about like things like what's his number one fantasy that he's had that he hasn't tried? Because we got all the fantasies, right? So she meant.

And some women have them, but they're not even quite aware of them. So you give a guy, do you know what I think would be really hot? Like if you like told me, you talked her to me. Or if we actually watch porn together, or I've got this great toy and we could use it and you make it fun, like this is something fun. This will even like elevate our sex life

because I wanna keep trying new things with you because I'm so turd on by you. You just get my blood boiling. Mm-hmm. That's a good thing, right, not anger. You get me going and you get me so turd on that I just think this would just rock both our worlds. What do you think? Yeah. It's like the sexy bucket list and you just start talking about it. And when's it going? The conversation will flow now. If you shut you down

and he's that comfortable talking about it, then we've got another problem here. But hopefully he'll be open to it because you haven't tried yet. Yeah, exactly. Sometimes guys aren't good at reading the signs. He got it full on right in the eye. Hey, this is what I want. Can you do this for me? Exactly. And variety, you know, is a spice of every sex life. So just remember that just you could be having the best sex of your life right now, but you're still gonna want to switch it up. You are. Totally. Yeah. So, um, this is all for switching it up and trying new things. Just guys, remember that if you're in your relationship, you're like, oh, but it's hard. No. It's like

saying like every night your partner's been serving you spaghetti for dinner. And you're like, I'm so goddamn sick of spaghetti. Like, spaghetti's fine. It's good for you every night your partner's been serving you spaghetti for dinner and you're like, I'm so goddamn sick of spaghetti. Like spaghetti's fine, it's good for you, but like sometimes you know I want chicken. Like it's just like anything. If you're having sex the same way you're going to want something else. So that is how I feel about that very strongly. Okay, so, but now I'm going to tell you something else. That's really important.

Oh, here's what it is. Speaking of sex to a shopping. Which is a great time to go shopping right now. I think so. Holidays. So, if you're not getting enough, like Lauren, I bet you'd love a little bit more because who doesn't want a little more action in the bedroom? Adamaneeve.com wants to give you more with 10 free gifts.

10, who gives you 10 free anything? First, you get a sexy surprise for her, and then you get a specially Selected toy for him and then a little something for both of you plus six full length adult movies on DVD Number 10 free shipping on your entire order. I hate when they gouge you for shipping makes me crazy That's 10 free gifts you get to select anyone item you can get adventurous new toy sexy piece of lingerie you can get a game I love all these sex games they have in their site. They're fun card games you can play. You can play board games about what you both want

than the bedroom. So you don't have to have the conversation. It's like, would you rather try this or that? So just check it out. Go to adameneve.com, enter code Emily at checkout. You get 10 free gifts free shipping when you enter offer code Emily. So go do that and have a happy, happy sexy holiday.

Also, you need to tell you about the in-control intensity. This is the intensity by Porn-Wah. This has been a game changer for my life this year. I have to say, so many of you has also jumped on the intensity train, sex-sploring, a new you. This is the toy I've told you about. It's a health invention, genius health invention,

and a toy that looks like a rabbit, it is a rabbit vibrator. I mean, it looks like one, and it's not. It only appears to be a rabbit vibrator. It appears to be a rabbit vibrator, but it turns into a crocodile. No, it isn't a rabbit vibrator, and it has improved and changed my sex life because I've talked about the importance of caggles for years that you just got to strengthen your pelvic floor. You just do. For women, it afterfees over time, meaning that you'll have less sensation. You won't be able to orgasm as easily,

you have urinary incontinence, you sneeze, you pee, all that stuff. And your caggles just help you have better sex no matter what age you are. And so this is just basically a toy, by a waiter that you put inside you for like eight to 10 minutes a day. It does your kaggle for you. We both use it. Yeah, it's true. I mean, it's amazing.

You think that it's not going to feel like that. Like I always thought I was doing my kaggles, but I was never actually doing my kaggles. The first time I put this thing in, I was like, oh, so that's what it's supposed to be. Right. That's what I keep hearing from people who write in about it. People who squeeze their butt too much of their abs too much. Exactly.

I, Madison, and I have my iPhone app, Kegel Camp, which you could actually, it's a great companion to it because it reminds you every day you can set a timer like 11 o'clock am, time for your Kegel Camp, and then you could track it how many times you do it. It'll remind you. And the weird thing is that I always remember to do them now because I actually enjoy it. Like I love this product. I love this machine, this thing, because I have felt my sex life change. I'm having between the Sivian and the NKT roll and the intensity. It's like stronger G-Spot

orgasms, everything. So check it out. Your partner will love it. You'll love it. Yeah. It's go to pormaw.com. P-O-U-R-M-I. It's pleasure with a purpose. Also, if you want to know more about the intensity, check out our Sex Toy Review Podcast, Sex's pleasure with a purpose. Also, if you want to know more about the intensity, check out our Sex Toy Review Podcast, Sex Toy Review, Intense and Implugged. And we have a second Emily review of the intensity that's brand new, yeah on YouTube. So if you're not following us on YouTube yet,

you should pretty much get on that. Yeah, okay, you guys, I'm just gonna tell you this. This is the last time I'm gonna tell you today. Instagram is Sex with Emily, we've got great stuff on there. Twitter, Sex with Emily, and our YouTube channel, Sex with Emily. Yeah, got great stuff on there. Twitter is Sex with Emily and our YouTube channel Sex with Emily. Yeah, they're rocks. All right. Okay. So emails Emily first off I'm a longtime listener since 106.9

Free FM that was 10 years ago. So yes, that is a long time list. She got like a jacket or something. You're a huge fan Thank you for being a huge fan. Anyway, I tried sounding for the first time about six months ago And it's pretty much the best physical sensation I've ever felt. He's talking about your rethral sounding. However, I've been trying to broach the subject with my girlfriend for four months, but I have no idea where to start. I've talked to others about it, and they all seem to cringe at the idea. Do any tips on how to maybe incorporate it into our sex life without freaking her out? Thanks a million. Josh.

Poor guy. Okay, you want to talk about the bit of background on your retral sound? You know how they medicine go for it? Let's talk about it. Okay, so I fell into your retral sounding hole yesterday trying to learn exactly what they put. I was like, break it down for people. I feel like it's very rare that we come across something where I'm like, I have no idea

what the hell that is. Let's go for it. So for a bit of background, your retral sounding is the act of inserting a rigid object into the urethra, usually some considerable distance. It started off as a medical procedure to help people be able to pee when their prostate was enlarged before they came out of medicine and all of that. However, now these tools known as sounds can also be used to achieve sexual pleasure. So, I mean, the sounds terrifying and when you talk about it, people immediately kind of like sit a little further back from you.

Like, they don't want to hear about it. Yeah, like, so this is, we're talking about sticking in the tip of their penis. Yeah. This is where the pee comes out. But what people don't realize is that the inside of the ear, you know, is also like packed with a bunch of nerve endings, kind of like the head of the penis. And so, they sometimes, sometimes, respond pleasurably when simulated. So, sounding is gained a lot of popularity recently, especially for kinky sex, like in this kinky sex BDSM community because it's a little bit of pleasure and pain and they get off on towing that line, understandably so, but it's really dangerous. It is dangerous you guys. I mean, you do not, you know, like don't try this at home kind of thing, but I just, I want to help,

I want to help them out here. I want to help you out, Josh. But again, it takes practice, you can hurt yourself, and this might be like, well, but really his question is, how does he talk to his girlfriend about it in four months? And I wish that we live in a different planet where you could just be like, hey babe, I want to put this thing in my,

your re-throw, open-time, some re-throw sounding and put this in my penis, and I'd love it if you helped. Let's do that, and then we do it for dinner. But the truth is, in a relationship to bring up, we heard this previously, talk about sex at all, is, can be challenging. And then to bring up this kinkier activities, it's just a whole other level. But you can start the conversation, just like anything else, you gotta start small and work your way up. So no, you don't lead into, I'm gonna take this thing, my penis, how do you feel?

Right. So we don't want to do that. But you can also just start the conversation. So, hey baby, the lot of these guys for months have been so great. Like, what's the most, you know, the sexiest memory you have of us together? Like, ask her. Like, what was the, you know, I don't know, that time when we had sex in the car outside of that party, because we just couldn't wait until we got home. Right. Great. Because then you know, like, she likes desires. She likes the build up.

She likes it. It was hot and in the car. So then you'd learn something and she might say, well, what about you? And you could say, you might say, God, I love the way you know, you give me a blowjob that night or something. Or who knows, I don't know what felt good for you. And this is how you started going. And then you could say, well,

is there anything that you've been wanting to try? And she could say, God, you know, I just keep asking about you throwing me out and fucking the shit out of me. Like the other one. No, but you never know what your partner's thinking because we don't easily offer up this information. We'll talk about our hobbies,

we'll talk about what we want for Christmas, or Hanukkah, and our gift list. What's it called? We want a gift list. I never had that. My family stopped, my whole world stopped at the present, 30 years ago, but this isn't that gonna be forthcoming.

So you might not get this out in the first conversation. This conversation, Josh, this is going to happen over time. But if you start by just saying like, what do you like, what are your fantasies, you know, you know, just like saying like sticking an object into your re-threat does not come across well, especially to someone who she's probably not so up in the world of kink. And there are only four months into their relationship. I feel like that's fairly soon. I don't know, not even with sex. I try to hide my crazy for a good amount of time. There's like a crazy limit where you try to hide

the things about yourself. You're normal, you're an everyday person. And then all of a sudden, like, nine, 10, 11 months in, all of a sudden, you're like, I'm actually kind of a little bit insane, but you already like me so we're a time. Exactly, and that's what everyone does. They say that it's your representative.

They're doing a representative, the first year of a relationship. And your representative does not stick things in his penis. No, your representative does. Like they say that it's your representative. They're doing your representative the first year of a relationship. And your representative does not stick things in his penis. No, your representative does not. I get that, but you could also ask if she masturbates. Because I think mutual masturbation, I've always said is where my favorite tips for couples because you're first of all. It's like for a plate, you're watching each other.

You're both playing with yourselves, but you're watching each other. She can watch what you do. You watch what she does. You might even learn that she orgasms in different ways. And then eventually, you build up to it. You'd be like, oh, I've heard some sensitivity in here, see how cool she is about it, and then you might be able to, you know, who knows, maybe she'll be still sounding advice in your advice. I heard it's good when you have to control it, because you know your penis and she does not, but then sometimes once you're comfortable with it and you've worked

to it, if she masturbates you over it, it feels really good. Again, we're gonna have, when the show posts, check out the blog for it, because we're gonna post some links to safe sounding kind of information. The blog for the show. Yeah, the blog for the show.

Yeah, and any products we ever talk about or any things that you want more about it is, there is a post on the website. I'm not sure how you, if you just, a lot of people just download it directly from my desk. But you can go to sexnamely.com there's like a whole blog with the description of what we talked about and we'll include for this and we'll include some links on sounding so everyone can have a safe time

and isn't sticking random time isn't yeah safe and sound isn't sticking random objects at home that would be my night don't try this at home yeah this is the warning okay um what do you want yeah settling down after only one lover hi I don't try this at home, this is a warning. Okay, one more. One more? Yeah. Settling down after only one lover. Hi Emily, I'm in my mid 20s and I've been with only one girl my whole life. We've been together for five years and she's the love of my life. But sometimes I'm wondering if this is unusual.

When I was younger, I had many opportunities, but for some reason, I never closed the deal. My friends that had many sexual relationships, they feel more fulfilled and they are better to able to settle down. Do you think this is weird? Thank you, love your podcast, Phil. This question is loaded on a lot of levels and it's also a common conundrum that a lot of people who find love

in their early 20s debate. But so first of all, what he's doing is comparing himself to others, which is not a great habit to look into, because we always, it's that grass always greener. Oh, they look so happy. My friend's up with 50 chicks before it and look at him settling down. He's so happy because he, you know, not all these notches on his bedposts where I do not, you never know what's going on in someone else's relationships. So right now they're happy, but who knows what's going to happen.

So stop looking that way Phil. That's that's not gonna help you I need you to look in word And I know why you do pay attention to the fact that you use the word unusual You said is this unusual that I'm saying with this woman leads you know easily that maybe you're not that comfortable with the idea of only having been with one person yourself Yeah, which again That makes sense. I mean not gonna lie you are in your like 20s You've been with one person maybe you're beating yourself up

because you had opportunities, you're still carrying that baggage along with you, which you gotta let go of, don't beat yourself up for that, nobody knows how to close deals. Some guys never learn it, but you had opportunities, whatever, you were young, you're learning. So don't let it be about that. But if you are, you're kind of dwelling

that you just haven't had other sex experiences, Um, say what this, the feelings might go away, but if they're real, it is okay to have them. And it doesn't mean that this amazing woman you're dating isn't amazing and great and perfect in all these ways. It just means you might want to taste what else out there. Yeah. And that, that makes sense. It's terrifying thought too, being with someone and having these questions.

Like, oh, it doesn't mean that you love them any less. It just means, hey, you're a normal person. You look around and you're like, hey, everyone else is doing it. I never did. Is this going to be a problem later? Right. And if you feel like it is, you got to address that. Exactly.

You do have to address it because it's not going to go away. And I know when you're in your early, you know, your first relationship and it feels like it's this is it. It's go away and I know when you're in your early, you know, your first relationship and it feels like it's, this is it, it's gonna be everything. But it's, again, just pay attention to yourself. Either way, it's okay, be honest with yourself and, you know, see what happens. But again, lingering feelings, you coming up,

then it might be time to take it back from the relationship. Yeah, you might need to get out there. So, yeah, only you know what's right. Only you know, we can't tell you, but just know that it's not unusual. And you are who you are. So I'm comparing yourself to your friends, dude. It's kinda, honestly, it'll kill you. You gotta, we can't tell you, but just know that it's not unusual. And you are who you are. So I'm comparing yourself to your friends, dude. It's kind of, honestly, it'll kill you.

You gotta say, it's like, they're journey is totally different than your journey, not to get all like. No, it's true. Everyone's journey is different, and believe me, whatever you think is going on is typically not even the case. It's got their own struggles and worries, and you just gotta find out what relationships are right for you.

Absolutely. And from the other side, the people who have been sleeping around for a long time might not have filled as fulfilled. And from the from the other side, the people who have been sleeping around for a long time might not have be filled as fulfilled and they're looking at you thinking like well, Phil's got it, you know, he's been with this person for five years. Exactly. So that's just every the grass is always greeners. We're talking about that. Like you people like my Facebook like wow you're killing lemon. You're so busy. I'm like I am. I'm doing what? Like people just have different assumptions about me not that I'm you know, life is good, but it's just funny what people tend to think and just don't pay attention to that. It's fine.

All right, I don't, I don't like peruse on my friends Facebook page, but I said I don't have time. Oh, I do. But people all the time, that's a whole other thing. I think Facebook, like there should be Facebook therapists. Because people are like tormenting themselves, like everyone's getting engaged.

It depends on, like you're not, or maybe your friends are getting engaged. Oh, all my friends are getting engaged and having children and things like that. They're like on their way. And I'm just sitting here like, that's fun. Like I burnt a big old this morning. Right, and all my friends are getting divorced.

That's what you're seeing on Facebook. It's a good time. But no, not that's not your job. But it's just there's different stages of life. And again, be happy for your friends. Don't remember just keep living your life and doing what feels good to you. Just bring it down.

And it's holidays that want everyone to be happy and have a good holiday. And take yourself and do things for yourself. And happy holidays. Thank you, Madison. Oh, thank you so much for having me. I love having you. Check out Madison everywhere. Thank you, Madison, producer. She makes it all happen and thank you to Lori and Lissa, also an intern Jamie. And we are looking for a social media marketing intern and you want me to be in the, I was going to say, Bay Area, the Los Angeles area, Orange County, wherever you are, we're

in Hollywood. You got to commute to us. And it's three days a week. Yes. You're working with me. Madison, who friggin' rocks. Madison actually started as an intern. Yeah, this was my job, guys. You're going to be filling some shoes and that's not as scary as I thought.

Now she runs the place. So, yeah, social media experience. Yeah, we're looking for someone. If you have social media experience, it's a huge plus because, yeah, I need, we need help with that. We need help with that. We need help with writing, great, strong written and communication skills. And we have a good time. We really do.

This internship is so much fun. It's not like your average studio internship. You get to do a lot. You get to try a lot of sex toys. Yeah, a lot of sex toys. We get lunch drinks. Exactly. We have a good time.

You might have orgasms you never knew you could have. I haven't done it. Lori, check out her blog. She had never had a multiple orgasm. And then she had one after she'd been in turn. So it's a good time. Yeah. So email us at feedback. Oh no, go to internships.com or internmatch.

Yeah. And they just search sex with Emily. Yeah. Or you can send them in to feedback at sexlemely.com. But we've got to have a cover letter and a resume. A resume and writing samples. Very important. Yeah, very important. Right. Okay, check it. have a cover letter and a resume. A resume and writing samples. Very important. Yeah, very important.

Right. Okay, check it, because if you don't do any of that, we're just gonna leave you. Mm-hmm. Okay, I love you all. Thank you so much for listening. Happy Holidays was a good for you. Email me. Feedback at sexwithemely.com.

Okay, everyone, it's that time of year. Happy holidays and time to decorate your penis. And your hands are that matter. Has yourself loving felt a little lacklustrally lately? I do want to mix up your masturbation, guys, because you know, I'm always talking about ways for women to mix it up. You guys deserve it, too. You could, possibly, if you choose, feel the pleasure of having sex anytime, even if you

don't have a partner. The fleshlight makes this dream come true. It's a male masturbation sleeve. You can use it solar with a partner. It simulates the sensations of real sex. It was engineered to look and feel like the real deal. And I don't know. I got to throw this to Madison.

Yeah. So your boyfriend have had some good times with it and the QuickShot. We have just the new product. Yeah, they have a new product. It's like the flashlight, but it's open on both ends. It's a little smaller. And it is, I mean, like the flashlight is great for male masturbation. I feel like that's really what it was created for.

And the Quick Shot is really fun for couples. It's a lot less intimidating if you're afraid of like, you know, grab and like a full-size flashlight. It's way less intimidating. And I actually just wrote a blog, I hate giving hand jobs. And now the Quick Shot is like my best friend because it makes hand jobs so much easier and so much more fun It's open-ended, it's smaller and it like goes around you can use it in your hand Yeah, it like wraps around your penis completely

It's still got that like super skin material It's a handy helper. Oh, it is. I think that's what it's called. Oh, no, it's confessions of a hand job It could be blowjob blowjob too. Yeah amazing. And he loves it, right? Yeah. This thing is friggin' incredible. You have some loob. Yeah. It's a good time. Let's just make penis time.

Good time. Yeah. And when you go to flushlights.com and you buy it, go to emleasexamely.com, click on the flush light banner. When you enter code emleate checkout, you get a free bottle of flush loob also. And it's a word-winning loob. Yeah. It's a word-winning.

It's great. It goes with all of your twigs, it's water-based. So it's safe to use with anything. That's great. Check it out, you guys. That's a great stocking stuffer. Stuff it with a quick shot. Okay, when thanks for listening to Sex of Them, I love you.

Bye.