Sex With Emily - Flashback Friday: All of the Orgasms
Episode Date: August 1, 2015Happy National Orgasm Day! In honor of the big “O,” today’s throwback podcast from 2012 is all about getting yourself past the pleasure point of no return, in more ways than one!If you think the...re’s only one kind of orgasm, get ready to have your mind blown. Emily gently, but not too gently, guides you through the many types of orgasms a woman can experience and provides steps to help you achieve whatever O you’re aiming for. Also discussed, multiple paths to multiple O’s, finding your G-spot, and the foolishness of faking it.If there’s one thing you do to celebrate National Orgasm Day (besides having a couple of them yourself), check out this podcast, straight from the Sex With Emily vault, and have yourself a THROWgasm. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, I'm Emily and thanks so much for listening to the show.
But quick question, is anyone else starving right now?
I mean, seriously, my days are so busy, I'm constantly running around from meeting to the office,
the studio. I never have time to shop or get food. You guys always hear me talk about that.
So how am I supposed to stock up on healthy snacks? And I love to snack. In fact, I think I only snack.
That's why I'm so excited about greys.com. Have you heard of graze.com?
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get to lose except for nothing? Because then you also need to eat. So go there. That's
grays.com. Code Emily. Thanks for listening. I said my car sacred institutions Bet through eyes they call them in a bygone way
Hey, Aveline, you got a boyfriend?
Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute
The girls got a hair span, oh my
The women know about shrinkage
Isn't it common knowledge?
What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks?
Can we not talk about sex so much?
Are you kidding me?
Oh my god, I'm off here, I'm so
I'm born, being bad feels pretty to be in bed, feels pretty good.
You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.
You're listening to Sex with Emily.
We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between.
For more information, go to sexthelmay.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts
and check out our cool content that will improve your sex life.
Absolutely.
Certainly 100%.
Sure.
Hi, Menace. Hi, how are you doing?
So good to see you. It's been like weeks. Vegas was fine. I went with Kelsey, my assistant,
and we just went all around. And then I was like, yeah, I was at Sinclair Institute,
signing books for them. And I got to meet the people from there. And it was just all good.
Good people. Sweet.
Times like people in the industry. Didn't you go to LA?
I'm going to LA tomorrow or Wednesday. Oh, Wednesday. Right. Going LA. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm going to LA tomorrow or Wednesday. Oh Wednesday.
Right. Going LA. Oh yeah. I'm going to be on the doctor's TV show. Sweet. And I'm going
to do a bunch of media type things, talking about 50 shades of gray, which I finally read,
which I thought was good, but not great, not well written, but 50 shades of gray, you know,
is like the whole crazy phenomenon. So we're going to talk about like bondage, my favorite
topic in massage candles, the Jimmy James massage candles, which I love. We're giving away, I shouldn't tell this because
secret, but we are gonna give them away to everyone in the audience. Nice. Yeah, it's good. How have
you been? What's new? I went to San Luis Obispo, California where they have a place called Pizmo Beach.
There's a college called Cal Poly there too for my buddies two day wedding. Oh Jesus, but it was so
Pissed-ball beach is beautiful. Okay. It was a warm. It was warm
It was nice. I like about we're just like on the side of this cliff by the beach
And you know, my buddy has this very small ceremony and it was really cool and
It was really quick though.
So then I decided, well, you know, I'm in San Luis Obispo,
I'm not here often, I might as well check it out.
So I went to downtown San Luis Obispo
and it was really cool to have like all these cool shops
and stores and things like that.
And they have this thing that I always wanna check out
it was called Bubblegum Alley.
Well, it's this tiny little alley that people have just
stuck thousands of pieces of bubble gum on it.
It's up on my Instagram, by the way, announcement.
And I know you were upset by this.
I am upset by it.
I don't even look.
What?
I just feel like I just know you in a different way.
I don't know.
Anyways, I have switched my Twitter name
and my Instagram name in my
Instagram name just to menace. Why did you drop the way menace?
Just everyone just calls me menace all the time. No, whenever I say, I say,
wait, menace. Menace alone is a premium domain and if I was able to obtain it,
I might as well just do it. Can you get menace.com? I can't. I've been trying for 14 years.
Who has it? I'm gonna give it up. Somebody in like for
juniors. I'm gonna leave them. But so I go there day one, check it out, eat, hang out.
Then I had a drive all the way back to San Francisco. Stay the night and then day two of the wedding
was in Modesto, California, which is back. That is insane. Another two hours away.
Sounds a bit supposed to be three hours.
Why would they do this to their friends?
I don't know.
It's torturous.
I don't get it.
A hole in the head.
Everyone do all that driving, like everyone does.
Yeah.
And I had to get back up and I had to put on the suit again and do the whole thing and take
photos.
It was that part of it.
Did you bring a date or not to this one?
I can't remember.
Yes. But that part was this. You bring a date or not that's one I can't remember. Yes But that part was this that whole wherein thing over again is a nightmare and I had a you know
But if we went in a party bus we had all this fun and a lot of our old friends were there and our buddy was DJ
And he's buddy from high school. He's a old radio buddy
Okay, and our buddy who does like parody songs was there and he was like singing
To with a mariachi band and all the stuff hilarious but this this is so awesome and then the night they play
Katy Perry's you're a firework right right they had fireworks like for real
that's awesome that's really cool that was going along with the music it was
pretty cool that's pretty cool fireworks are awesome at a wedding. I've seen that. That's awesome. And so afterwards we said, Hey, let's go
back to the hotel and party. There's a hotel bar. We go, we walk into the hotel
bar. There's a 1982 class reunion happening. So I'm with my day and I'm with
my good girlfriend of mine and her boyfriend and I was like,
oh, we all decided we had to go to the restroom first.
So we go to the restroom and then the girl there on the restroom and all these ladies that
were in the 1982 reunion were just firing on me left and right.
Like, what's up?
What are you doing here?
They're hitting on you?
Yeah.
Oh my god, they're like wasted and married. Their husband's wrong.
Yeah, and they just like wanted to get down.
Really?
Were they any of them cute?
Uh, I would say I swear like within a five minute period,
six different ones hit me up.
And I would say like two of them were good.
Okay.
Oh my god, menace.
You can even subit with a girl with it.
What happened with the girl?
Nothing.
Was it fun?
Yeah, it was cool. And then we just like partied and then we You can even sub a little girl with it. What happened with the girl? Nothing is- Was it fun?
Yeah, it was cool.
And then we just like partied and then we hit up Denny's at 3 a.m. in place that you would never go.
I've been to Denny's. I get that grand slam or whatever.
Yeah, but it was amazing.
And you know, you get to see people that are in love, but it was so funny because...
And I got to give credit to this. I was actually talking to another friend of mine this morning about this.
My buddy has been with this girl say about maybe seven years now and they already had
a kid together.
Oh, all right.
That's initially like why they were together.
My buddy was like he wanted to be around for his kid, but he didn't know, okay, this
is the person that I want to marry.
Right.
So he tried out a relationship for quite a while and he ended up having another kid with this girl. Wow. So they've had this relationship for
seven years and then he'd silently decide like, Hey, this is, you know, the girl that I want to be
with. So I got to give him credit that he didn't totally, he didn't get just married right away just
because he had a kid with this girl like he went through. Right. And they're still in their love
and all the time with the kids. That's good. I love to hear that. Cause a lot of times you can have a kid and think that you
should get married and you have people do that. People do that.
People do that all the time. Such a wrong thing to do.
Today's show we will be talking about toy gasms and different
kinds of orgasms. I didn't get to say that at the top. So if
you're wondering when we're going to get sexy and dirty, we
are going to do that in a second. What part of relationships
is part of sex, you know? No, it's important here that people are happy
and getting married still in the world.
I know, which you don't condone.
I do, I do.
I hope people get married and have happy weddings
and happy lives.
But it's funny, you know, at this convention
that I went to because it's like so many people
in the sex industry, everyone's like into all their weird,
just what you think, like not weird,
but alternative lifestyles.
So people who were just like,
I have like weirdos are like, you know,
I'm married men and like everyone hitting on everyone's
doing their thing because they're away from home.
I don't know, it's just going on in Vegas,
but it's kind of sketch.
It really is.
I'm gonna be Los Angeles Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Really?
Yeah.
I'll be there too.
Another fucking
freaking wedding. I mean, Friday today, sorry, I'm totally lost all the time. But,
no, there's a comedy festival will be there. I'll find, be interviewing comedians and stuff.
That's so nice. I'll ask them some sex questions. Ask them some questions. Well,
you're usually tormented comedians. Yeah. I wonder if comedians probably get laid a lot.
They travel a lot.
Yeah, they're celebrities.
Yeah, so they probably hook up.
For sure.
People love sex questions, ask them sex questions.
Oh, you can always email me.
We're going to be getting to your emails in a second that you send to feedback at sexwithamlee.com.
You can also find me on my website, the email we me straight from there, or on Twitter and Facebook,
sex with Emily.
Okay, ex-boyfriend in the attic.
This story came out last week.
Oh, I sent this to you.
Yeah, you sent this to me.
Oh my God.
Okay.
I didn't read it though.
A Goulish sound coming from a South Carolina woman's attic
turned out to be coming from her ex-boyfriend
who had been hiding there.
Tracy, a mother of five, heard a loud thump last Saturday night and began to see nails falling
from the ceiling.
Something just ain't right.
There was some poltergeist stuff going on, which Tracy's initial reaction around 2.30
am.
Tracy's ex-boyfriend of 12 years had been hiding in her attic near the heating unit for two weeks
Sonic cops filled with urine and feces were found in the attic
Nuked at nook as well as a rigid ceiling vent that the man could look down at Tracy in her bedroom
The suspect fled the scene after being discovered and is still at large that's friggin
Change your locks when you break up with somebody people
What? Freaking easy.
What?
Change your locks when you break up with somebody, people.
Change your locks.
This guy was living in the attic.
I passed from 12 years ago.
Okay, I thought like he was living in there for 12 years when I read that when I read the
time.
No, ex boyfriend of 12 year, the date of for 12 years, he was living in our attic with
feces and, oh, disgusting.
Yeah, that good.
South Carolina attic, yeah.
So change the locks.
It's so funny, because I've keys to my ex-boyfriends place,
but we share dogs, so I need the keys.
But everyone's got keys to his house.
Like all these girlfriends, like things could happen.
People could break in and kill each other.
You gotta be careful.
Okay, a sex researcher's son arrested for exposing himself.
A prominent sex-reacher son, sex-reacher's researcher,
so I'm trying to say that 10 times fast, who had been cited for public masturbation
in New York City Central Park early this year, has been arrested
for exposing himself in a rural Michigan sting operation.
He's 60. He yelled for the attention of two undercover female officers kayaking.
He was completely nude and making obscene gestures
with his exposed
body parts from the back of pinnabog river. The Huron County Sheriff's Office have been
investigating four similar events in the area before arresting masters in an undercover
state operation. Masters of third is the son of the late Dr. William H. Masters, you know
Masters in Johnson, like the big sex researchers, is being charged with aggravated indies and exposure and $2,000 fine.
What is it with these compulsions of men just to get naked and be easy?
Masterbait and have people look at them.
I really really want to interview somebody like that.
Yeah, I want to colleagues in jail.
I have somebody else interview them and say, why do you do this?
Because I'll be in trouble.
We'll get off on it.
They think it's, you know, that's what turns them on.
That's their fetish, that's their thing. I hear about this with women and public transit. That's what I don't want to go on because like
you're the women are masturbating and
Oh, guys are doing it. Yes, I don't get it. I don't get it all but I told you what happened to me twice in New York when I was a little when I was
Like, you know, visiting with my mom
Two guys were masturbating in the movie theater and I was like so freaked out and they got up and they were like zipped their pants up and they had all their
They had a newspaper where you know that they wow
It was gross and I'll never forget that
Okay, couple filmed having sex at a Yankees game
Two New York Yankees fan score at home run at this weekend's game against Tampa Bayrays
A horny couple couldn't wait until halftime to get intimate and were
discovered having sex in a bathroom stall under the left field bleachers
during the second inning. As onlookers took pictures and videos of the
couples having sex they must have been drunk. Nothing seemed to sure or stop
them from consumating their mutual affections. They didn't even notice the
cheers and screams coming from the gathering crowd. Wow. People were jocking for positions outside the stall to take picks, either over
understanding of the stall.
The Yankees are believed to be aware of the situation, but have declined to
comment.
How could you, in a bathroom stall under the left field bleachers?
So it's a bathroom stall under the bleachers, but wouldn't they still be
inside the bathroom?
Like, how could you take pictures of it?
I don't get it.
Well, people probably heard what was going on. And then Right, sorry to talk about, sorry to talk about.
Yeah. I mean, yeah, just be careful we haven't sex people. Why are people a little bit of sex?
I mean, I understand how to sex, but you just gotta be, you gotta be careful, you gotta pay attention.
They're probably drunk and have too many beers, right? Hey, I've written once before. I'm a 29
year old from Atlanta with a friend's with benefits issue. She is 34 and bit a friend of mine for the last eight months.
Recently she came by my apartment and things happened, started with kissing and manual
stimulation, no intercourse.
We've discussed a friends with benefits relationship which I am fine with, one problem.
She told me after a weekend together she was sleeping with a man from our office, unprotected.
She wants to know if I'll sleep with her with protection. She's also dating another man as well.
My brain tells me these are flags, but another part of me is telling me to go ahead and
sleep with her. What do I do? 29 in Atlanta. P.S., I bought your book Hot Sex, really enjoying
it. My book is called Hot Sex, over 200 things you can try tonight, and I promise you it will
blow your sex life through the roof
So check it out. Okay. Anyway, friends benefits. Yeah, honey
29 Atlanta. There's lots of red flags there. She's sleeping with a bunch of people
Do you want to be one of her one of her her entourage that she's sleeping with do you want to be part of her posse part of her
pussy posse? I was trying to think of an in a little iteration. No, but really, it sounds like if you're
okay being this is what happens in
front of its relationships, she's
being people, you're sitting with
people.
If you use protection, I guess it's
fine.
If you really like her and you'd like
this relationship to go somewhere
else, don't sit with her.
Don't even get started, don't do it,
don't continue the relationship.
She's sitting with three other guys.
But if you're like, I'm down with that, then I can date other women and it's fine.
And you're both in the same emotional page.
See when friends with benefits relationships go wrong, it's when one person wants more
than the other person.
And then they don't talk about it and then the other person gets upset.
So you're calling her sleeping with the people flags and I'm saying in friends with benefits
relationships, everyone's sleeping with other people. So I'm not sure that you're ready for this.
I think you might like her more than that,
and make sure I'm comfortable
that you're sleeping with other people.
So it's probably not a good idea.
And where, what, Robert, dude?
Yeah, I mean, she said she's having
unprotected sex with one guy.
She's having, and then she wants him to protect the sex.
So yeah, you should definitely,
or I actually read a study day,
you know, you always joke around.
I'm just telling you guys,
just don't try this at home.
You're like, oh, yeah,
don't wear one condom,
wear two condoms.
In fact, wearing two condoms is less safe
than wearing one condom
because the two condoms can rub together and rip.
That's friction.
So don't ever wear two condoms.
You might.
No, I've always made jokes about it.
I've always made jokes about it. Oh, you better double bag it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm always making jokes about it. I'm always, oh, you better double bag it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just don't ever double bag it because there was a study that said it's not good.
Yeah, but I think people shouldn't, they know that by now, right?
I don't know.
I did not.
I think so.
I just read that today.
So anyway, so don't you think I mean, he's half for her, she's a friend, they've been friends
for a while.
You know, I think if he just wants to hook up with her, then just wear a condom.
Yeah, don't worry about it.
If you're like, oh, I can maybe make the chick buy a girlfriend one day, that's never going
to happen.
It's not going to happen.
I mean, you might be the last man standing.
I don't know, but I wouldn't go into it thinking that she's going to just all of a sudden
decide that you're the one.
So, it seems like you know that already.
But it's hard when you're half for someone and you've been friends for a while
and you want to sleep with her.
I understand that, but just make sure that you are in a mental place that can handle it.
Okay, dear Ali, I'm losing my mind.
I need someone to talk about this.
I need someone to talk to about this.
I don't know what the hell I was thinking.
Seriously, what the hell was I thinking?
I did the peanut butter thing on the VJJ
and let the dog lick it off.
Wow.
Literally, like a minute.
Oh my God, I'm so disturbed that I did that.
I'm having a hell of a time getting through my days
without thinking I am some horribly nasty person.
I've never ever done anything like this.
Help, how do I get this out of my head?
Am I really the only chick who did this?
Oh my God, I'm mortified with my laughs and and judgment. Help. Losing my mind. Sam.
Well, Sam. Sam. I mean, is it awkward down between the dog when you look at each other?
Yeah, it's exactly. I'm just wondering if your dog is behaving more or not behaving more?
I mean, people have left and judgments all the time. Don't worry about it.
I know my, this might take a while to get out of your head, but you know.
It's don't worry about it. Sam, I mean, that's why you've heard of it is because people actually do it
So I wouldn't worry about it. I mean, is it feel good? I want to know me
You think you're gonna do it again. Is that what you're afraid of?
Do you think you're gonna move on to other animals? Then we have a problem now
If this is something that also embarrasses you do not share with anybody that you know
Yeah, don't tell anybody but me mine already have but
Just don't I mean if this is something that's gonna hurt yourself as team if it got out then please don't tell anybody but me. Mine already have, but just don't. I mean, this is something that's gonna hurt yourself
as team if it got out then please don't.
Even if it's the person you trust more than, you know,
cost your heart, hope to die type thing.
Just don't do it.
Just don't, because you were gonna judge you
and you already feel bad enough.
But let me tell you, it's just not safe.
I would say just have the dogs,
just from a health standpoint,
probably not the safest thing to have the dogs saliva down there. So I would just wouldn the dogs, just from a health standpoint, probably not the safest thing to
have the dogs saliva down there.
So I would just, that's another reason to get you to stop from doing it again.
But you're fine, you have no diseases, I'm sure you're fine.
And don't beat yourself up.
We all do things that we regret.
And I just, you got to let it go.
And how do you let it go?
You're asking me how, just stop thinking about it, write it off, make yourself feel fine,
like we all do things like that. And you're experiencing. And maybe one day, you know, you'll laugh at
it with yourself by yourself, because you're not going to tell anyone about it, but me.
So I really wouldn't worry about it. You want to know something embarrassing? I have to poop naked.
How about that? Oh, thanks for sharing. You have shared that. You have shared that. He has to
get all naked, even if he's in his office. Yes, completely naked. So how about that? There you go Sam.
I'm going to get naked. I wish yeah, I don't even say about that. I forgot about that one.
I do remember it though. I didn't forget. But I can't go in public places unless it has a full door.
A full door. I don't know why I'm just more. What do you do work though? Really? They have like
stalls. You just don't go. I just don't go. Wow. That's why I'm just more what do you do work that really they have like stalls you just don't go just don't go wow that's why I live close to go home in the middle of the if if I have to yes
I've driven an hour just to go back to my house before that's I don't understand what your issue is
I don't know but I've put this out there before and people say that they have the they have the
same issue well I don't even know if it's an issue.
It's just like a comfort factor.
Yeah, that's not an issue.
I'm not going to judge you minus because you drove an hour to take poop, but that's I'm
really not.
I'm really not.
There's nothing wrong with it.
But see what I mean.
People do all kinds of things.
You should try it.
You should try it and feel and see how it feels.
It feels.
It feels very freeing.
Have you always been this way since you were young child. Yeah
Interesting, I don't even know what to say like my relaxed
Do you fall asleep now wish?
There you go. I should I should give an embarrassing thing, but I don't have any oh, excuse me
Little miss perfect. No, I'm not perfect. If nothing pops to my head, I'll share it.
Just because I feel like we were, it's like a combi-ow,
we're all coming together.
We're stuck right now, I don't have anything.
But I'm also in Zimbabwe for five days, so I'm all tired.
Okay, dear Emily.
Okay, this is a little embarrassing.
Here's another embarrassing one.
Uh-oh, but I can't masturbate.
There is no amount of touching myself in any way
that will turn me on.
I have no problems with the partner stimulating me, but when it comes to special loantine, I'm not touching myself in any way that will turn me on. I have no problems with the partner stimulating me,
but when it comes to special loantime, I'm SOL.
You know what that means, right?
I'm now in a long distance relationship
where I'm dying without the sex.
I wanna try a vibrator, but I don't know what kind of stimulation
I like because I can't masturbate anyways.
I don't even know if a vibrator will work.
What advice do you have for the situation?
Liz.
Well, you get a dog and some peanut butter. No, no, no, no, no, no, Liz, don't do that.
I'm wondering, do you have orgasms with your partner when you're having sex? Is that
the deal? Because I'm wondering if you have orgasms fine during an occurs? What feels
good to you when you do that? And you can do that. You can simulate that with a vibrator.
So there's many different kinds of vibrators. If you're thinking of a dune a vibrator, you could get a clitoral stimulator. You could get one that you can simulate that with the vibrator. There's many different kinds of vibrators if you're thinking of doing a vibrator.
You could get a clitoral stimulator, you could get one that goes inside you, that could
give you a G-Spot vibrator.
We saw so many of those in the show.
There's so many G-Spot vibrators on the market now, so if that's how you organize them,
if you want to go to Good Vibrations, click on my website, go to the products page.
You can see my favorite toys.
I've got the Pocket Rocket,
I think is a great beginner vibrator.
If you want to try something,
the Hattachi Magic Wine is a more advanced vibrator,
but if you can't have an orgasm, then alone,
I would try that, that is a sure thing,
and see how that works.
But I would also say, maybe with your partner,
you could try to have Skype Sacks.
See if that gets you going.
If it's a long business relationship,
why not have Skype Sacks and get you in the the mood and you start touching yourself in front of them and
see how it goes. But I would say that it might take time if you're not able to orgasm.
I mean, I would take a bath, I would touch your body, I would do things, I would get
yourself in the mood like take a few days or a few weeks to really like make this like
a commitment that you're going to figure out what makes yourself feel good and how to
master it. Because really, you should know this.
As a woman, it's one of your lives to work
to know what makes you feel good.
Because no guys ever gonna come along
or no woman who ever you're with,
whatever, it figured out for you.
You're gonna figure out yourself.
So, I would say, just start touching yourself.
There's 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris.
I'm sure if you start touching yourself down there,
you're gonna feel something.
One of those little nerve endings is gonna make you pop. Eventually. Like, I have my infamous story of my friend took 30
days, every day, I masturbate every day for 30 days until she finally had orgasm. Might
take you that long, Liz, but it's important to you. You'll make it happen, right?
We're going to talk about our sponsor, Emily and Tony, which is actually my candles that
I make. I have a brand called Emily and Tony. You go to Emily.dodettony.com.
And if you've never heard of a massage candle or used one,
you're gonna want one because it is,
I made it so you'll have better sex
and it'll spice your sex life.
Because it smells good and it's fun to use.
Have you had fun using it?
Me personally. He doesn't massage. It's okay personally. Oh, he does some massage.
It's okay.
I mean, I don't massage.
You like the Down Under comfort.
I love the Down Under comfort.
It is awesome.
That's for your balls.
I use the candle all the time.
Yeah.
But you know, for the house.
Just not as massage candles.
But my co-workers, which remember,
I don't know if you remember,
they gave me a bunch to give my co-workers
and they absolutely love it.
I love it, okay, that's good.
So it's a messa, it's a candle.
Look, it's a beautiful candle made in France.
It's made of amazing ingredients.
If you care about that stuff, a Roman therapy,
sketch in the mood.
But what happens is you light it, you blow it out,
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That's fun to play with.
And it's not, yeah, it's like I put it on at night,
people like I have no one massage.
I'm like I give myself a hand massage every night.
I blow it out and it's not like,
it's not this kind of like, you know,
like a lot of massage oils you get like all over your clothes
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Just say what you must suppose you're sex life. Hi Emily. I've been in a relationship with the man
for 10 years older than me for about five months. And just recently has his best mate, oh just recently, has his best mate, oh, just recently his best mate started showing interest to me.
So silly me, start showing it back
and we both start sharing dirty texts and intimate thoughts
which we get with each other on the phone.
One night, we arranged to meet at his place.
We have the most amazing sex I've ever had in my life.
The next time we had sex, he didn't even want me
to, the next time we had sex,
he didn't even want me to come over and the sex had sex, he didn't even want me to come over
and the sex wasn't as good.
He is really affectionate person and tells me how amazing I am,
but there's another woman in the picture.
Anyway, I decided to break it with my current partner,
so I'm, as I'm feeling so strong for his friend.
I was wondering if you could give me some advice
on how to get this man's attention or respect
if I've lost it and how do I make myself more appealing
than this other woman.
I don't know whether he's just after the sex or whether he wants more, he's giving me mixed
messages.
He's worried about losing the friendship with my current partner, I know that I should
back off and have decided that for talking to a friend that I should back off completely.
Can you please give me advice?
XXX Beth.
PS.
He also told me that night he might come to love me but seemed worried about the risk. Thanks. Oh, Beth. P.S. He also told me that night he might come to love me but seem worried about the
risk. Thanks. Oh, Beth. Okay. This is not looking good any which way. I think you should listen
to your friend and just end the situation because you've been dating this guy. You've been in a
relationship for five months. Then you start cheating on him with his best friend. Then the best
friend is being wishy-washy with you. In the second time, it's not as good. So you're just
remembering that first time. It's like you did drugs with him one night and
you feel amazing and you want that high and that connection that you had with him. But
I'm here to tell you that that is the only thing that you know about this guy. You had
an amazing out of sex until you're just obsessing about it and you're because your
P.S. tells me that he could love you that night. Men say a lot of things to women when
they want to get in their pants, right, menace?
Oh yeah.
Men say some things.
So I'm sure that night, he said,
oh, you're someone I could love and you're amazing,
but then you go back to him and he says he's dating someone.
So he's not even available.
He's your boyfriend's, whatever, ex-boyfriend's friend,
and he's kind of blown you off.
And you know what, if a guy is into you,
he's gonna show it that he's into you. He's gonna be like all over the situation. And he also kind of blown you off. And you know what, if a guy is into you, he's gonna show it that he's into you.
He's gonna be like all over the situation.
And he also is the right to say
that it's gonna be tricky with his friend.
His friend, you know, those guys have bonds.
And he already, F go over his friend
by saving a few, probably doesn't want him to find out.
So I would just say you've got to move on from this.
And it's good that you broke up with the other guy.
I'm proud of you for that.
Cause if you were still cheating, going back and forth,
that's not a good thing. But I would just move on from both these dudes. And I'm telling you, if you don broke up with the other guy and proud of you for that because if you were still cheating, going back and forth, that's not a good thing.
But I would just move on from both these dudes
and I'm telling you, if you don't engage with the other guy,
you will meet someone else soon enough.
Are you just gonna, you just date for a while or do whatever,
but don't go down the path of sleeping with the friend
who's already blowing you off.
Yeah, and yeah, I'm a really good friend
that does giving you some good advice.
So listen, see, that's what I always say.
Women don't listen to advice.
And they don't.
They don't.
Women don't even listen.
People don't tell their rule in the face.
I have some friends that I don't even give advice to anymore because I know they're not going to listen to me.
Like, I know you're not going to listen to me.
Why would I tell you something?
You're not going to listen.
And so, but Beth, you took the time to email me and I'm really glad you did.
So please listen to me and don't sleep with this guy again.
I mean, don't guys do that all the time?
Jesus Christ. Okay. We can get into our topic now.
Yes.
Different types of orgasms. Okay. We get lots of questions about orgasms. Why are you looking like that?
I'm just a winger. What you're gonna say. I never heard you bring up this thought before. Different types of orgasms.
You're lying. You've never heard me.
Why are you just talking about different ways that you can get orgasms?
Yes. Well, I'm talking about everything. Antoygasms. We're gonna talk about toys and stuff like that.
Okay. I say internal versus external orgasms.
Okay, okay.
You're talking about the process of getting an orgasm.
Yes.
I thought there was like a new type of orgasm that I didn't know about.
You would know.
I would tell you if there was a new type of orgasm, you'd be the first guy to know.
All right.
So internal versus external, so most women require external or clitorial simulation to achieve an orgasm.
So as I was telling the person just wrote in that there's 8,000 nerve endings in the
clitoris, which is actually way more than the penis.
I think the nose is another part of your body that has lots of nerve endings in it.
But really, it is your clitoris and a lot of women, more than 70%
of women need to have clitorial stimulation to have an orgasm.
So it doesn't mean you can't have an internal orgasm as well, but you also need to be touching
your clitoris or maybe just to get going, you touch your clitoris and then you can have
an internal like a G-spot orgasm. So the clitoris is the female pleasure center.
It's like the penis, but it's even more pleasurable.
And there's a minority out there, less than a quarter-while women
who can climax through internal stimulation alone.
So only a quarter of women do not need clitoris anyway.
That's why I'm always talking about touch yourself during intercourse.
If you're not having an orgasm, have your boyfriend touch your clitoris. Show them how. You touch
it. Use a sex toy. There are so many, oh my god. We saw so many amazing couples toys. I was
just saying at the beginning that I was at this lingerie show where they had all these sex toys
and stuff in Las Vegas, which is where Alice would you have a sex show. And there's a lot of great,
like the Jimmy Jane Form 2
is amazing.
Jimmy Jane vibrators, I love them.
They're toys that you can get if you go to my website
and just click on the Jimmy Jane banner.
Use coupon code summer for $25 off orders.
Over 100, the Form 2 is like a little rabbit.
You can easily hold it over.
It's not like the rabbit.
It's like the ears of the rabbit, the famous rabbit.
And you can put it in your clitoris and it feels really, really good. You'll love
it. Okay. So some women experience simultaneous internal and external orgasms. Do you even
know what kind of orgasms women are having when they're having them? You know, do I? Yeah.
Yeah. You can tell. Yes. External and internal. I know. But how you can tell yes External and internal I know
But how can you tell when she's having it? What is it where it's coming from? I'm just wondering if I know
That I can tell where it's coming from me
Do you know if she's having like a cheese, but I know but can you yeah?
Because you know that she's been robbing her clear. Yeah, would you find in your experience that most women need that?
Yeah, I would say at least half of them do.
Right.
Okay.
Just one of them.
Unfortunately, not all women are the same.
They're all different.
Put a hundred women in the room and they're all going to orgasm differently.
It's the truth.
I'm sorry.
I'm here to tell you people that it is the 100% God's honest truth.
You need a manual.
You need to just give out a manual.
This is how it's the manual for this is me. Well, that's my iPhone app.
My new app working on, oh, I have an app that you might want. It's called Kagle Camp and you can do your Kegel exercises.
They're for men and for women.
Anyway, this app is, yeah, it's like the manual of me. You give it to your partner.
You're like, this is what I need. This is how you do it. Kiss my neck. Undress me slowly.
That's good.
All the things that you give me some water when I'm thirsty.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's really important.
Don't you wish that a woman would just hand it over to you?
I would love that.
So anyway, these women experience these simultaneous internal and external.
It's called it's a blended orgasm.
You can begin by using your fingers or an external vibrator like the Form 2.
Twice is nice vibrator, such as the rabbit pearl from good vibrations are a great way to
experiment with this.
So again, go to my website, go to the products page, good vibrations, and use coupon code
Emily.
And you can experiment with these to try out.
Like a lot of women don't naturally know where their g-spot is
But I mean I'm telling you at the sex pressure like there's a million toys that people are making that are just targeting the
G-spot and just like that dildo I got that still one it's g-spot. I'm gonna do it
I'm gonna sit home. I know we use vibrators and it's just doesn't vibrate. I'm just gonna see what happens
It's heavy. Wow. Isn't it amazing? I'm gonna let you know about my g-Spot. I don't know how you got through airport security with that still.
I don't either. You're right. You could you could knock someone out with this.
Totally. I don't know how you'd either. Okay, then there's single versus multiple orgasms.
Single orgasms can last anywhere from a few seconds to a minute. And unlike most men, you can't have multiple.
You you require a refractory period.
You have to build up again to have that second regatta.
Women, we can just keep going and going and going and going.
With little or no pause in between.
Have you been with women who have multiples?
Yes.
And it's tough for the guys just like you said,
because we can't, I mean, once we're done, we're done.
We've got to wait.
No, I know like sleeping already.
Yeah.
Right. We've got to wait. At least how like sleeping already. Right. We got to wait.
At least how long did it take to, for a guy?
I think they say like, at least 15, 20.
Yeah, at least 15, 20 minutes for a guy to do that.
So for a guy to have an orgasm again.
Okay.
So multiple orgasms come in forms.
It's sequential and serial.
Sequential orgasms that occur after one another with a few minutes in between, and additional stimulation is often required to get from one to the next,
and then there's cereal orgasms. One experience
immediately after the next and the next and the next, and this is a wild ride
for those who can achieve it, which is not many women. But there's all these classes and courses
and bibrators, things I could do to like learn that. I want to do that. I'm going to take the time.
What the hell am I want to do that. I'm gonna take the time.
What the hell am I gonna do that?
You need to take the time to do a lot of things, actually.
Like what else?
Like watch TV?
Yeah.
Relax.
Yes.
Have fun.
Yes.
I don't know what you do in the evening.
I wonder if you're working on your brand all day? That's why you're a knight.
Work on your brand again?
What do you do a knight?
Finally a knight, that's when I have my time to hang out and watch TV.
Which I'm cutting into.
No, I'm really sorry.
You are cutting into my TV.
Well, I usually go to bed by like 8 a.m.
What are you watching at 8 p.m.
I mean, what are you watching on TV these days?
Anything good that I need to know?
I haven't watched Honey Boo Boo or whatever. Yeah, I mean that's hilarious
But you probably won't like it. I'm telling you you need to watch the newsroom on HBO. Oh, yeah
I was on my list. It's totally on my list
I'm gonna do it I promise and there's another hilarious show that you would not like
But I think the listeners would like it's called workaholics. I was hanging out with some people this weekend that work on that
show and it's it's one of the funniest shows on television but I don't think it's
your humor. Really? But newsroom is newsrooms like smart. Yeah you love it.
Newsroom is your show. You have to watch it. It's very like politics and news
and stuff like that but it's funny and there's sex in it too. It's I'm gonna go
watch it tonight.
Please please.
Just do it.
My stylist is coming over.
I can't do it tonight, but I'll do another night.
I promise.
Have it on in the background.
That's what I do.
I'm gonna do more.
Everything.
So upsetting.
Okay.
Ridiculous.
It is.
I know.
It's ridiculous.
Okay.
You are not a, I don't think you're a multi-tasker.
I think you freak out when you have multiple things going on.
No, I am a multi-tasker, but I'm really, really bad at it.
So I'm a really bad multi-tasker and inefficient.
And they actually say like studies have come out that it's not good to multi-task unless
you're trying to give someone an orgasm in different ways.
But really, you're not, that it's a do you multi-task all the time? You've been multi-tasking. I have to. Yeah. That helps your brain.
I don't know if it helps my brain, but I like knowing that I have things going on.
Right. If I don't have anything going on that I'm pacing.
Right. You always have things going on now. Yeah.
Okay, so another other orgasms are real versus fake. Okay, studies indicate that as many as
80% of women
have faked an orgasm at one time or another,
there are many reasons from wanting to boost
our partner's self-esteem to feeling bad about
being unable to achieve an orgasm or just being too tired
and wanting to call the night.
You've probably heard it before,
but it's worth repeating, nobody wins when you fake it.
You cannot fake your orgasm.
It's just not a good thing to do.
So that's all we got time for today.
That's it. That's it, baby. All right. Anything else? Speaking of faking orgasm, I watched this movie just recently. Damn it. It was so good. It was the guy from
the Muppets and he was all from Saving Silverman. Damn it. It was so good, but he fakes an orgasm.
Okay. What happens is the whole plot of the movie, it's really good, where
there are a couple they meet and they date for a couple of years in San Francisco.
Okay. And the guy, he's a chef.
And so he can go work wherever he wants,
but he's like getting his dream job
and his significant others trying to get a job at Berkeley.
But she doesn't get the job at Berkeley.
So she gets a job in Michigan.
So he goes, all right, I'm a chef.
I can go with you.
Let's do this.
They just recently got engaged.
And he's trying to adjust the life in Michigan and he can't getting good jobs at restaurants and like the restaurants are laughing at him.
Like you left San Francisco like top and job to work here. This is what this is a this is a movie.
Okay. God damn I wish I knew the name of the movie. Oh you don't even know the name of it. There's no punchline.
I can get it. But it's so it's so good because he like tries to adjust to this life that he doesn't want to do
just for love and then he starts acting super weird so she ends up cheating on him with somebody.
Oh my god. Yeah, and then he breaks out and he moves back. Well moved it. It's all based in San Francisco.
I've seen it. Really? They came out of WALGO. Yeah, I came out of the WALGO.
I've seen it really they came out of wild go. Yeah came out of the wild go
But then they ended up getting back together. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel like I seen it so from there
Today's show I can mention real quick that I love the Sinclair Institute
They make educational DVDs so they're like it's not porn It's like people having sex, but it's like things you can actually learn and they have this new 12 ways to boost your libido and 10 ways to go longer and stronger
and they're really popular and they have a live better love better series.
So if you've even wanted to spice it up, you're like, God, I really want to be better at
oral sex or I really want to tie my partner up or like anything that you can think of.
You can go to Synclair Institute by one of the DVDs.
Just click on the banner through my website, sexzelme.com. And yeah and yeah you can learn the tool you can learn a tip or a tool or something like
that because you know I know I tried to teach you everything I can but maybe sometimes
I miss out maybe you haven't heard all my 600 million shows I've done and you want
to learn something go to Sinclair and Soup you love it.
And the Sinclair and Soup is like real people having sex but it's not porn.
It's not porn so you don't feel dirty and gross so it's awesome.
Nothing you do feel dirty and gross because nothing's not porn. It's not porn, so you don't feel dirty and gross. So it's awesome.
Nothing you do feel dirty and gross
because nothing's wrong with porn.
I'm not saying that.
I'm saying.
In you shot a video hanging out with them.
I did.
At sexathomely.com.
Sexathomely.com, you can check it out.
Sexathomely.com, I've got tons of videos,
I've got apps, I've got things,
I want you to subscribe to the podcast,
you can listen to it every single week
of this the first time that you're listening.
I do have more stuff that I could go into
if you'd like me to.
Do you want to?
I'm trying to really find the name of that movie.
Oh, you're obsessed.
Okay.
I can get into toyazums, which is another thing that a lot of people really, really don't
know about toys.
They don't know. Like, there's this, oh my God,
I'm at the hottest chick.
She's like, I want, she might be tan for you now,
but she's so smart, like, I wanted to hire her
and she was selling these bras
that are all like strapless and cool
and I have to remember the name of it.
But she never, she, oh my God,
she gave me all these really cool bras
and so I said, I'm gonna send you a sex toy,
what kind do you want?
And she's like, I don't know, I've never used one.
And so I think it's important for people to learn
how to use sex toy men and women.
And we've been writing about them a lot on the website
and talking about a lot on the show.
And it doesn't mean that you, people who are resisting toys,
a lot of times the people who need them the most.
And so I'm just saying that.
And we can get in this.
Actually, I'm not going to get in this now. All right, you're going to save it. I'm saving it. And the movie'm just saying that and we can get in this actually I'm not going to even does now.
All right, you're going to save it.
I'm saving it.
And it's the movie is called the five year engagement.
I don't think I saw it.
You got to see it.
Okay.
Space and San Francisco.
Really?
I'm just trying to adjust to each other's lives to like stay in a relationship. So I
suggest you know, I like I like using movies for inspiration.
Exactly. Jill, that's good. Did you find it? No. It's on demand. I suggest, you know, I like using movies for inspiration for like,
I'm sorry.
Exactly, Jill, that's good.
Did you just find it?
No, it's on demand.
Okay, it's called the 5-year engagement.
Who's in it, like famous people?
Yeah, famous people, but I just can't remember.
Oh, Jesus, okay, well, I hope everyone has a great weekend and a great life,
and everything's going well, and you have lots of orgasms, and lots of fun sex stuff.
And we've blunted it.
What?
Oh, Emily Blunt.
Yeah. I feel like I saw it. What? Oh, Emily Blunt. Yeah.
I feel like I saw it.
Okay, everyone, thanks for listening to Sex Family.
It was a good for you.
Email me feedback at sexwithemlee.com.
Okay, everybody, this is where I talk to you about your penis again.
If we haven't talked about your penis enough, I'm going to talk to you about the fleshlight,
which is the number one sex toy for men because it really, well, it just really is.
It's the only one that you want.
It is a masturbation sleeve.
Oh, and they just came out with a go this week
is that true massive?
Yeah, it's just lighter.
Yeah, it's closer to the size of an actual fleshlight,
but it's not more compact on the inside.
So the outside is more small and more discrete.
Inside exactly the same can still accommodate 90% of men,
I believe.
It's just more travel size.
It looks more sneaky.
And check out our Instagram,
we posted a really funny video yesterday.
Oh my God, we posted a best video yesterday,
sex with Emily.
But just, I don't know, you guys,
I've been talking about this for over a year and a half now,
and I know you guys are all loving it
because every guy got one is like,
oh my God, where's a bit of my whole life?
And it's not because you're not having sex, it's not because you're dissatisfied with
your sex life.
It's just like how I have a million vibrators or someone would have two.
It's fine.
You should have something as well that just feels a little different than sex, just as good
as sex, and a little different than your hand.
And also if you want to last longer in bed, the stamina training you need is awesome.
So do me a favor because I love you.
And if you love me, go to sexwithme.com,
click on the flashlight banner, use code Emily,
and you get a free bottle of the award-winning flush loop.
Thanks, everyone, for listening.
Love you.