Sex With Emily - Flashback Friday: Everything Anal

Episode Date: July 4, 2015

Are you open to anal? In this classic throwback podcast from Anal Sex Month 2013, we’re getting deep into the world of backdoor pleasure. If you’re new to anal play, this show will help you get comfortable with the idea of having something up your bum. Don’t worry, it’s not that scary. It’s actually quite delightful if done correctly. Emily provides a handful of anal sex pointers to make the back door poke more pleasurable and shares the three most important elements of anal sex: Relaxation, lubrication and communication. She and Menace discuss the appeal of anal sex and break down the mystery of the male G-spot.  This show is straight from the Sex With Emily podcast vault. It’s a throwback celebration of anal in all forms, so refresh your back door vocabulary and check it out! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Okay, you know I'm always saying how important it is to make things up in the bedroom. Well, hustler Hollywood stores should be your main destination for the best toys, erotic, the sexiest laundry, and most of all, the easiest way to find the answers you've been looking for on how to enhance your sex life. Because I'm always saying, spice it up, talk to your partner who like we can't talk about this. I just want go to a store, have a date night, check it out. There is everything in this store that can fulfill your fantasies. There is one in Hollywood. There are 12 stores around the country. You've got to check them out. And

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Happy shopping. Many here, you just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kinda cute. The girls gotta understand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks. And we not talk about sex so much. Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm on for myself. I'm going.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily, we're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts. Sign up for a mailing list, which you really should do because you'll get a free report of the five biggest mistakes men are making in bed. And the five biggest mistakes women are making in bed, which you kind of want to know. And we're going to have some more products coming your way as well. And there's a lot happening on our site. So check that out. Also, follow

me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, sex with Emily. Today's show is all about anal sex. I know you've probably heard about, you know, there's a lot of things going on, but what you didn't know is that August is the anal pleasure month brought to you by Good Vibrations in San Francisco. They also are the same people that brought you masturbation month in May. So if you miss that, you know, that'll be come around again, but this is anal sex month. And I'm here with menis. Hey menis, how you doing? How you doing? How is this? I didn't warn you that today's show is about anal sex. He didn't. How is what? He didn't. And how is it just not anal sex month

every day in San Francisco? Yeah, that's true in San Francisco. It is anal sex month every month. Yeah, but But now it's because here's a thing man It's because people always ask me and I was thinking about this before the show and it's like people always say Emily What are the trends in sex? What are the latest trends? And I always think about one of the top things that come to my mind is anal sex. And I even think that like, as an anal is the new blow job. Now this has been going on for a while, but I feel like it's like tab, you know, it still

is that taboo and that people are kind of obsessed with anal sex. I mean, look at Howard Stern, right? Every guest who comes on the show, I'd never try anal. Like, even on love lines, like, they ask me like, what about you and anal sex? Like people are obsessed with it. And so I thought, you know, good vibration is having anal pleasure months just to celebrate.

It's a lot of things on their site if you go to goodivibes.com. But also just like tips to enjoy it, why people are so obsessed with it, what are the right ways to do it? And I'm gonna get into those, some of those tips today. So if you're curious about anal sex,

I'm going to give you some gateways how to get into it and to do it right. I'm also going to be reading your emails and all that stuff. So that's what's going on. Are you a fan of the anal sex mask? Am I what about anal sex? Sorry. Are you a fan of anal sex?

Of course. I don't think there's any guys that are against it. It's true. There are. I've met, well, exactly. So the women, I think that women really are sort of a lot of women. And I think that it's because, so I was asked recently by Cosmomegazine why men love anal sex. And these are some of the things that I thought that I wrote.

And I want to know what you agree with and what you don't agree with because also that I've actually been with men several who don't Like it they're like it's not my thing. I tried it once and wasn't into it So I don't know that every man likes it, but I think a lot of men are Are really into it. So I think that men like it because they see this taboo Which can be thrilling and daring and very sexually exciting for men. So do you see that more than it feels good men as there's more like oh it's a taboo, it's her ass, I get to put my dick in her butt, you know, what is it? Do you agree with that? I guess it's just the taboo and then you're like go

well it's probably you know a little bit, so it feels better type of thing, you know? Right. Right. Okay, so many men see anal sex as a gift from their female partner, something rare and special. Oh, really? A gift. Yeah, a gift. Like, it's a gift. Like, it's like, hey, she's gonna give me her butt. Like, I have a friend who's married and she's like, when I get married, she's a married for five years. Now, she hasn't done it yet, but she's like, then I'm gonna have anal sex with my husband and she's still afraid to do it. Oh get married, she's a married for five years. Now she hasn't done it yet, but she's like, then I'm going to have anal sacs with my

husband and she's still afraid to do it. Oh, see, she lied. Some guys like most women, like just do it. Lies and cheaters. No, tricks, though. Not true, Madness. It also demonstrates a sense of, no, they're not. Okay, I'll get into more of these later.

Let's just talk. What's going on, Madness? What's new with you in your life that I need to know? I just got back from Chicago, lovely weather in Chicago for La La Plusa Music Festival. It sucks because text-to-family listeners always hit me up. They hang out and I'm, you know, I'm at a festival with like 100,000 people so I can't meet up with anybody. I don't, you know, so. Right. She's working or otherwise you would totally hang out with you and talk about anal sex all day.

Yeah, but, you know, thank you. And I love the city. I love, I love the Midwest. I love Midwest women, Chicago, all that area in between, in between the coast, basically, because I don't know. I see this time and time again, beautiful women, just with normal looking guys, right? Just like, it gives you help. It does give me hope, because it seems on the coast, like either on the west coast, I don't know how much on the east coast,

but definitely on the west coast, coast, Los Angeles, San Francisco, the application of being a man, just, oh my God, on your resume, okay, does he have a good job, does he drive a nice car, does he work hang out with you. I see in the in the middle of the country, it just normal hardworking guys, maybe like factory workers with like bomb shell hot women, you know, it's crazy. I don't know, but those those women, those women, if those women were in Los Angeles, San Francisco area. Oh my god, you know They would expect you know men to buy them, you know Chanel bags all freaking day long, you know

Yeah, well that's your interpretation of women on the west coast and the east coast because I don't see Come on stop playing you I'm not playing you tend to date women who want you to buy them Chanel bags I swear I'm never asked to guide a buy me a bag although when he does buy me a bag I'm really appreciative. Yeah But I didn't ask for it. I didn't ask for it I know what you're saying the Midwestern I mean I'm from the Midwest So if anyone gets offended what I'm saying like I feel like there are good Midwestern values like we're good people

We're not so caught up in that stuff perhaps it's not as bad as in San Francisco I'm just I'm just kind of saying but yeah definitely about sandalus it's oh my god insane lost angeles man lost angeles is a whole another world I mean the men here are it's so much about like the arm candy and the older guy with the younger women I mean you don't see that in San Francisco as much like here it's like they're all aspiring to be you know actresses or whatever. I mean it's like at the cliche that everyone says about LA but now that I've been living here I see it all the time. Well the epidemic in San Francisco is the seventh think they're tens with women. I told you that. I

came up with that phrase. There's so many. Well, oh yeah you told I told you that. I came up with that phrase. 70. 70. They're tens. Well, oh, yeah, you told me that. But it's not just you. A lot of people say it's the seven-sinked they're tens. It's crazy. Because this is what happens in our area in San Francisco. I know there's a whole other country and people that listen around the world, maybe can relate to this.

In San Francisco, I got to think of all the attractive women that I went to high school with. They all left the area and they went to Southern California or somewhere else, right? And all the weird and outcasts chicks stayed here and they went to Berkeley or San Francisco State or they were kind of nerd so they went, you know, they went to Stanford and all this stuff. The most attractive women that I went to school with did not stay here. And it seems like all there's a bazillion attractive women in Southern California. And it seems like they stayed there.

And all the outcasts and the nerds, and believe me, I'm friends with outcasts and nerds. I like those type of people. And it seems like they all came from Southern California and they came up here. But the thing is, that's the pool of people that we have came up here. But the thing is, that's the pull of people that we have to date here. So the women that are maybe a seven think their tens because guys, you know,

they're like, well, this is all we have to choose from around here, you know. Well, I don't know. I think that there's a lot of beautiful women and smart women and cool women that do move to San Francisco. I just think that you come to Los Angeles and you're like, oh my God, the woman, every single woman here is hot from the waitress to the dry cleaner to the person washing my car to the person making copies of the, you know, at the copy store, whatever, like everyone's hot. Yeah.

It's true. But I also think what they say about Ellie, but I don't think they're on attractive women and so on. But the thing is, what I'm trying to say about the rest of the country is there's a beautiful women way hotter than in northern California that just don't know that they're hot and they just don't act like it you know they don't they don't have a chip on their shoulder like oh my god you know I need to take selfie pictures all freaking day I post it on Instagram and get

Well, because people are happier. I think what you're saying is and what it's known is that every girl they say This is what my friends in L.I. say I'll make producer director friends Whatever that like the hottest chicken every high school class in America like the top five hot checks with top two hot checks From every high school everything about small towns in America or in the world really, but let's just talk about America for the sake of the story and they all moved to LA because they all think they can make it because everyone's like, wow, you're working at Costco, but you should really be an actress, you're so pretty, whatever, and then they move out here, and then they're all trying to make it, right? And some people make it, and some people don't.

It's tough, that's why I got into radio because my looks don't really matter, right? Of course. I get some people don't, it's tough. That's why I got into radio, because my looks don't really matter, right? Of course. Of course not. I mean, I did a little dabble here on their own television, but you know what I'm saying.

But it is true. So how is your dating life? You can share one thing with me that I didn't know before. That you didn't know before? Just listen. Yeah, I know nothing. So that would be good for you to tell me one thing. I mean, nothing.

I don't have a wild and crazy drama-filled relationship. You know, I'm not, I'm not like you and I go up in a cabin with a bunch of people in my, you know, my exes are hanging around or anything like that. I know, my exes, my exes, you know, I don't, but that makes, I mean, your life that you should share more because the sex of the only show is way more interesting than my dating life. It's true. It's because you put yourself in situations and you feel, or I mean, at least you tell

me that it doesn't matter that you go with a current boyfriend to an ex-boyfriend's cabin and you're all hanging out together like you tell that to an average person out there they would think oh my god that's drama filled and that's pretty freaking interesting you know. I think it's it's not right I think it's really healthy for people to be friends with their ex like my ex is my ex from years ago and so it happened to bring my last boyfriend with my current boyfriend, not only do we go with this, maybe my ex boyfriend and my current boyfriend at the time, who's now my ex boyfriend, but we all went, not only do we go to his cabin,

we all went to Mexico together. Ridiculous. But I'll have you know, and I don't think I shared this with you, Menace, is that when my ex-boyfriend, now they're both my exes, so how do I explain this? The ex boyfriend who arranged the Mexico trip, and then my boyfriend at the time,

we all went to Mexico, right? There was like 15 of us, and my exes, girlfriend, was very jealous by about me being on the trip. Like she didn't like that I was on the trip. So there was some ramifications, even though I was there with my new hot boyfriend, she still was very threatened by my presence there. So it's not everyone is cool with it, not everyone gets it. And I don't think that you can necessarily be friends with all your acts. However, we had the same group of friends and he knows me really well.

And I think a lot of times, if you can, like, and we weren't friends right away, it's not like you break up with your acts. I'm not telling anyone if you break up with your acts for the next day, you'll be sitting around having coffee talking about who you're banging, but it takes a few months. Like I was really devastated when I broke up with the acts, you know, and we took us a few months till we were friends again, and now it's been like, you know, six, seven years and we're really good friends. But yeah, that is a weird story. Here's another weird story.

So I went to a dinner party the other night, right? Because I'm in LA, and I don't know that many people. I was dating a guy for a while, which sort of took up a lot of time. And now I'm not dating him anymore. And I figured, you know what? I'm just gonna, I'm in my like, it's like when I was on Bravo misadvised and I was like, say yes to everything. I'm just kind of like saying yes to every invitation that I get. So some guy messages me on Facebook, who I'm friends with. And but, you know, what the hell is it with with Facebook PS by the way that like they always turn chat on now like whenever I go on Facebook chat is on I don't chat with people okay I don't know okay anyway so

my chat keeps getting turned on maybe that's just my technical issue so some guy chats me who I look at a first-time to look at who he is and I met him I barely know him but I met him at Sundance Film Festival years ago and he looks like a nice guy and I remember meeting him and all of our mutual friends or people that I think are cool and normal. And he says, I'm having a dinner party. Next Friday night, please come, bring a girlfriend if you want. It's going to be like 20, 25 people. I've got great views.

Come to my party. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to go. Just say yes, right? It's two weeks away. I said yes. So I go to this party last weekend, and there was a lot of young women

like in their 20s and 30s, and a lot of older men, maybe in their 50s and 60s, who were in the entertainment business, right? Like heads of studios and whatever. And the women were a little bimbo-ish except for me, and then the men were all like a little, you know, older and established. I'm like, is this the LA dynamic?

Like, it wasn't all like that and there were some really nice women. And it turned out, that was my first impression. And but I sat down and I talked to these guys, not in a romantic way, but they're all really interesting men and they don't all work in entertainment. But they were all more established, right? And you could tell a lot of the women and their little dresses and whatever were like trying to cozy up to them. It was just the typical L.A. story.

But there was just one guy and I gave him my card because he was interested. It was just the typical L.A. story. But there was this one guy, and I gave him my card because he was interested, it was like more, we were having a work conversation. And I gave him my card and he said, oh yeah, maybe we can grab lunch some time. And I said great. So I wake up at Saturday morning at 8 AM, and there is a email from him, a long email.

Wow, you were the highlight of my night. So nice to meet you. Then at 9 a.m. my phone rings and he calls me and I answer because I don't know the number and I don't know why I answered because usually I don't answer. I don't know where I was like, 9 a.m. Then he texted me. So I talked to him. He said, let's go out. Then he texted me an hour later. So in a span of 12 hours of meeting this guy, he called me, he texted me, and he wrote me a long email. And then I didn't answer, and then he texted me again.

So I was like, down boy, down, down, down. This is like, no, I'm all four guys calling. I love when a man calls, but don't email, and call, and text, and write, and send smoke signals. And God knows what else he was going to do. And he was so aggressive in my mind. I was like, whoa, we're like, you really want to lock down a date. And then the next day texted me to lock down a date. And I'm not even interested in them.

To me, I gave my card as a business thing. So now I need to tell him that I'm not interested in them. He was a perfectly nice guy until he delusional with every single form of communication that he had in his disposal. It's crazy. Don't you think that's too much? It's a little too much. Yeah, this guy had in his disposal. It's crazy. Don't you think that's too much? It's a little too much, yeah. This guy had some social problems. But he was very successful and like he's older,

what happened? What? I was, you were just explaining with the demographics of your party is because women that are not in their 20s or 30s in Los Angeles are already married and divorced, you know, and then they're dating, they're dating younger guys. So you need to get married and divorced soon. And then you can just like live off the divorce money and then date like, you

know, I know. See, that's what I should have done. But I actually didn't do that yet. Young Latin studs like all the, all the chicks from Orange County, real housewives over the cat. Yeah, that's not me. I know. I really regret not being married into horse right now, but who would have known, just kidding, people's, but who would have known, like, if I married a rich guy or not,

but it would be nice to have some, you know, alimony or child's form. But I don't have that now, and it's okay, I'm making a nice living with sex with Emily sort of. Everyone, so here's the thing. So we're gonna get into anal pleasure month in a minute because we're gonna give you some anal sex tips. But I also wanna tell you about,

I'm gonna read some emails from the people first. So I'm gonna get into that in a minute. And then I was gonna tell you that this show anal pleasure month is sponsored by Good Vibrations. So use coupon code GVMLE20 for 20% up orders of $100 more, which is an amazing deal. And I'm gonna give you some anal sex toys that you might like if you're into that kind of thing

in a little bit. But if not, check out the J.J.Line of Vibrators. And a lot of you have been emailing me and they're like, what did you say? And it's J.J.J.J. line of vibrators. And a lot of people have been emailing me and they're like, what did you say? And it's J.J.J.J.J. I love everything in their line. They're beautiful products. They work really well.

They're really powerful. They're great to use with your partner. Some of them, they've had amazing rabbit vibrator. So many things, check it out. Okay. Here's a quick question though. What's going on with your love life? Oh, other than that.

Well, okay. So I am so I am I Am single again. I was I was dating the sky that I liked and it just didn't really work out. I think that Getting sick was a really like if I were in the Listen to the podcast a few weeks ago. I was in the hospital and I got really sick Which is crazy because I never get sick But it was sort of a wake-up call like I always friggin hate when people say everything happens for a reason in life and blah blah blah

Like when you're in like the depths of despair and they're like it's all happening for a reason that someone broke into your car Or that you know whatever your dog got you know Run over or whatever, but it really it really was a wake-up call for me to like look at clarity in my life And what matters and what's important. And I just felt like he wasn't the guy. That's what I say. And as a result, since then, I am not dating anybody right now unless I go out with the guy who stalked me within a 12 hour period, but I'm not going to go out with him. But I do have an interesting online dating opportunity coming up in a few months. I'm not going to go out with him. But I do have an interesting online dating opportunity coming up. And a few months, I'm going to be doing some serious online dating.

So I'll tell everyone about that. It's with one of our new sponsors, men. So you're really going to like this. But right now, I'm just, you know, I meet guys when I go out, but I'm just not, I'm more like reconnecting with friends. And I don't know. Nothing exciting, really. Gosh, that's so not

interesting because I'm constantly like reading, doing the show, studying sex, all that stuff. So I'll keep you posted when someone new comes in the picture. But right now, actually for me, men as long as you know me, doesn't there usually someone in the rotation? Of course. But there really isn't. Like honestly, there isn't. And I think this is really healthy because Because I, and I know, I think people can relate to this. I used to be the kind of person that jumped from one relationship to the next. And it wasn't on purpose.

It wasn't like, oh, I can't be alone. It was like, I meet tons of guys. And I, you know, I was like, oh, I like this guy. I broke up this guy last night. And I broke up with this guy. But now I'm just like, god, I really do want some breathing room. Like, I really don't need to be in a relationship right now.

And I'd be happy just like hanging out with my friends or going out with a guy, but not getting really serious about anyone right now. All right, good. And that's what I've always, all right. You're, you're, you're approved with that? Yeah. You, you down with that,

and you've probably heard me say that before, but this is real this time. Like, when I was on my mandatoryum, and I didn't have sex with any guys for six months, that was the big one. But I'm not gonna do that again. Okay, I'm and I didn't have sex with any guys for six months. That was the big one, but I'm not going to do that again. Okay, I'm going to read your emails from the people. This is email me feedback at sexwithamily.com. I love hearing from all of you.

Okay, hi, Emily. I've been married for four years this fall. My husband and I are completely in love and have a very caring relationship. Before we were engaged, I was unfaithful, but we stayed together and ended up getting married. When it comes to sex, we don't have it. We engage in flirting, and then when it gets close to getting intimate, it usually ends up with me giving manual stimulation or oral for him. At this point, we only have sex three to four times a year. We have talked about it and he says, we need to be closer emotionally before we become more intimate.

I am wondering if this is from the infidelity and how do we ever get to the next step? He won't go to counseling so I am stuck. Help, thanks Eden. Okay, Eden, I don't know what it is. You've been together for four years. It is true that a lot of times when couples stop having sex, it has to do one of the biggest, there's like three main things.

But a lot of it is they people say they don't have time, they have kids, and another thing is underlying issues. Like, maybe he still really is upset with the infantility. I don't know what happened, but he needs to go to counseling. I do not approve of, if your partner says to you, we need to go to counseling, you need to go to counseling. I do not approve of, if your partner says to you, we need to go to counseling, you need to go to counseling. I don't know what everyone is so afraid of about going to counseling because it is a miracle cure

for relationships, either it will get everything clear because think about it. You're in a relationship, you should eat and you've been with your partner for four years. You've been trying to have this conversation, you're trying to improve your sex life, and it's not budging. So, you know, definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again. Sometimes you need to bring in a third party, and a counselor

that's going to help you. And if you can't afford it, there's always sliding scales, there's always like community services, but you guys need to go. It's imperative. Couples cannot get past things on their own. And it's true when a man or a woman feels emotionally disinformed the partner, they can't connect sexually. And it's been four years. So that's a really long time. And the more time that goes by day by day by day, it's just going to get worse and worse.

So he says he wants you more closer emotionally. It sounds like you're not able to bring you guys there so you do need therapy. And it might be from the infidelity, he might not trust you, he might have his own insecurities. I don't really know what it was. And I love that you were completely in love before, so maybe you can get back to that stage, but better that you go to therapy and figure it out now. So that's what I think about that.

I mean, don't you think medicine, you've been in relationship where like you're having a motion, not that you have emotional issues because you're always so happy But no like when something goes wrong or you're fighting like it's just hard to connect them sexually sometimes when you have issues. Yeah, when I'm upset with somebody. I don't want to have sex with them. You know most guys like I whatever I just The more I get nagged or I have issues with somebody, the less I want to have sex with them. Exactly. Exactly.

So, that's what happens, like, emotionally you get shut down. So, I would say counseling would be your first step. You've been trying to do it for four years. We all try to solve things on our own and sometimes you just need to help. That's what I gotta say about that. Okay. Dear Emily, first off, love the podcast. I've been listening to it for a few months now and really enjoy it

I've greatly benefited from it as well. I have a problem though. I met a woman online about a week ago Things seem to go well so we exchanged numbers then about a day or so later decided to go on a date last Sunday we decided to hang out at a bar and have few drinks. Can you play some pool and? Oh wait, I think Okay, wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait and oh wait, I think, okay, let me wait a minute. Okay, last Sunday we decided to hang out, have a few drinks, maybe play some pool and get to know each other. It seems like things were going great. We were both engaged in the conversation. We were flirty and never really seemed to have any awkward silences which can sometimes be an issue in first dates. We left there on the way back to my house, I asked her if she wanted a chill and

maybe watch some TV and she said, I guess so, what I have to do early for work. For some reason, what to do inside my house, it became extremely awkward for 45 minutes, and then I decided we should end the date. I gave her a hug, she left, I even sent her text asking if she was okay because she seemed uncomfortable. She replied, yes, I'm sorry I got awkward. I really don't get it. I sent her a message earlier and have yet to receive a response. Response, what should I do? I really clicked with her and I want to see her again but I don't want to see Needy. Thanks Matt. Okay Matt, are you sure that it was awkward? I want to know why you think it was awkward. She could have been nervous for being at your house the first time, but I need to know more details And if you haven't heard from her, it probably means that you need to move on and she's just not that into you

If you texted her already twice and you haven't heard back Maybe she just got uncomfortable. However, I know a lot of women who get uncomfortable Maybe she was thinking there was an expectation for you guys to like kiss or whatever and she wasn't ready for that yet So Wayne see if you hear back from her and if you don't, you got to date other people. What do you think, men? I totally agree. I mean, you should reach out to her at least once

and then she's not responding, then just move on. Yeah, people when women don't respond or men don't respond, you could defy in a million different ways, but it's hilarious that book he's just not that into or she's just not that into, it's so true. Like they didn't get her on her bike car, they're not in the hospital, they're not sick, they don't have to work late. Like we all know that in this day and age, if you want to get in touch with someone, you

send a text. It's really easy. So just, people got to move on quicker. Okay, dear Emily, I've been seeing a guy 11 years older than I am. He's 33, I'm 22. He has a nice size penis. I like him a lot. And the sex is... That's awesome. And the sex is great. The only problem is I've only orgasm from my clitoris.

I've tried to find my G spot. And even though we almost came close to me having a G spot orgasm, it didn't work. He asked me the other day if I enjoy our sex life because I never get off. We have sex. How can I find my G spot? Please help. Thanks, Abby. Okay, Abby. So here's the deal. So you said that you have clitoral orgasms. Do you have them during intercourse as well? I know you want to find your G-spot. And the thing is, 75% of women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm during sex.

So that's really common. You can also bring in a vibrator. Again, I love the J-JU Mimi M-I-M-I, which you could get at good vibes. So if you're interested in G-spot stimulation during sex, I always say doggy style is a great position to explore, but also you really need to explore your G-spot on your own. So, or he can use his fingers. So sometimes the best way for a couple to get the woman to experience her G-spot is to first have him use his hands, like to stick his fingers, like one of his fingers

like in a cum-header motion, like up the 2-thirds wall of the vagina and then there you can feel the G-spot. I'm sure you probably know this, but it's the G-spot is that little, it feels like around little, like a raspberry pet or something, or like it feels like a round little raspberry pit or something. It feels like a peach pit, but it's a lot smaller. And sometimes you need pressure on it. So you just need to play around with what feels good for you. Use lots of lube, use his fingers, spend a day in bed looking for your g-spot. And then when you have inner course with him, it'll be easier to guide his penis so it's

hitting your g-spot. But don't be all bummed out about it, at least you're having orgasms. And you said that it almost worked the other day. So I would say, don't worry about it, it's common, no pun intended, but spend some time without his penis in your vagina trying to figure it out. That's what I gotta say about that.

So let's move into our anal sex month, unless you have anything to say about G-spot stimulation. Uh, no, it just is a difficult thing to do so don't get frustrated if you can't do it. It is, right? Don't you think like do you feel that most women you probably don't know exactly but like, you know, do you guys ever talk about it? The G-spot clitoris? You're just happy to head in orgasm, right? Yes. Okay. So that's the most men. We're happy that all you're... um, okay, so what do you say?'s most fun. We're happy that all you're. Okay, so what do you say?

Like most men. Most men, I know. Okay, so it's anal sex month. Okay, so anal sex month, what does that mean? Okay, so I think that I was saying earlier that I think it is sort of a trendy thing. Not trendy, like, as in the last six months, but probably in the last ten years, like, I don't feel like people talk about anal sex that month. That's why I always say anal is the new blow job.

A lot of people wait till they're married to give it or are man are fascinated by it. And I started to read some reasons, I'm gonna get into some tips for it. But men, I think that it demonstrates some men think that if a woman, if he's anal sex with a woman, that it demonstrates a sense of love and trust from his female partner, that she's willing to give all of herself to him. Two or false men is true.

Okay, here's another one. Many men just just love the female behind and want to be close to it. Really close to it. Two or false. True. Okay, next one, it simply feels really good to many men. True. True. Okay, and it's uncharted territory, going back to the whole taboo thing. Yeah, I don't know. It's like, guys, get off that it's taboo though. It just seems like the term that you're using is, I don't know, it's like what chicks used to describe things, you know. I don't see a guy really tripping off it because it's taboo.

Right. But it is sort of something different. He's so used to the vagina and now he's like, wow, there's something kind of different and it's like, it's for's forbidden and not every woman does it. But maybe not. So Akira's a quote from Carol Queen, who's a sex educator expert, we love Carol Queen. She says, well, inner pleasure is widely enjoyed. It's still considered taboo.

So access to clear and accurate information about it is sadly limited. That's why good vibrations declared August to be anal pleasure month, a way to illuminate the subject and make information available to interested adults. So it's fun and it's fascinating. So okay, so here's the thing. anal sacs, here's some tips, should be pleasurable and not painful. A lot of people, women in particular, are kind of freaked out. We're not talking about gay sex here too, but gay sex gay men, obviously, experience,

these are a lot of tips that they can use as well. A little knowledge about anal sex, which is what we're trying to do here, makes a lot of difference. There's also anal toys for beginners and experienced players. So some of the anal toys that you might have heard about are like butt plugs. Have you heard of a butt plug, men? Yes. Some of the anal toys that you might have heard about are like butt plugs. Have you heard of a butt plug, menace? Yes, I have. So they're designed basically to be inserted and held in place by the anal muscles.

So they're not like an in and out, like a slim little dildo that you can use. And many people use butt plugs. I'm sorry, I'm explaining this because I get asked all the time about butt plugs. Many people enjoy the sensation of fullness, especially when they're doing other activities like oral sex or intercourse, they like to have a butt plunge in them. It just feels really good. And also during orgasm, the anal muscles contract

along with the vaginal muscles and penis, so butt plugs can intensify the entire experience. As far as other products, if you're a man and you want to experience some things, there's the anal sex for men. It does not mean that you're gay. A lot of men like their prostate stimulated. It's called the male g spot. So, max for men, which we love, one of our sponsors, you can check them out. Max g stimulating prostate gel, if you're just starting to explore the male g spot. If you want

to try any of their products, maxformen.com. That's max number four and use coupon code Emily25. They've got amazing products for men and it just might help you explore the prostate. And there are a lot of men who don't even realize it and they think, oh, it's going to make me gay. But I'm telling you, there are a lot of men who like a finger in their butt or a little vibrator. The vibration feels really good and it can give you an incredible orgasm. I've seen it happen and it exists and you're not gay. Okay, here's some tips for anal sex. The first tip is relaxation.

The most important, first of all, the three most important ingredients to anal sex play is relaxation, lubrication and communication. Okay, so first you have to relax. Everyone's got to chill the F out. It's made of two separate muscles, the anus, that are about a quarter-interpart. The more you relax, the more relaxed the muscles will be. If you have stress and anxiety and you're worried that it's going to hurt, and what if I have to go to the bathroom, it can make your anus tighten. And that makes it less pleasurable and possibly painful. So,

first, I always say, if you're starting with anal sex, start with a finger and start with lots and lots of lubricant. Like, you want to be lube because like the vagina lubricates itself, the anus does not. So, if you start getting turned on, you know, doing other things that your anus might relax because you're already feeling turned on. So you can also try, you know, inserting like I said, a finger or a toy vibrations are great. A little vibration start off with something slim though, like a slim little toy and don't force or rush it. These are for first timetime anal players. They often need to get used to these feelings, so go slow, OK?

Slow, slow, slow. Slow are the better. And anytime you want to chime in, Manus, I'm assuming you've had anal sex. Yeah. But maybe not. OK, so lubrication. Unlike the vagina, doesn't produce lubrication.

So everyone needs lube. Even if you're only playing externally, the lube will enhance your experience. And by the way, lube enhances all experiences. I sexually, I have a lubricant line coming out, go to Emily and Tony.com. Put in your email address. I made the most killer lubricant that I'm going to be giving away samples in two weeks. It's coming out, so check it out. But generally, for anal sacs, thicker lubricants work better since they create more cushioning

service to protect the sensitive issues. Water-based lubricants, which is what most people use, they're a slippery texture but they tend to dry out, and you definitely need a lot of lube. So if you use a silicone lube, they never dry out, but they're harder to get off because they're waterproof. So just figure out what you want and what feels good to you, but you always want to use a condom. There are many diseases, there are things you can catch during anal sex, and I know it might be a bummer, and people don't love condoms, but you got to use a condom during anal sex with the lube on top of it.

people don't love condoms, but you got to use a condom during anal sex with the loop on top of it. I agree. Do you use loop in a sex? A loop in anal sex. I mean, you kind of have to. You have to, but do you use loop in general? Loop in general, no. Okay. I know. I'm going to send you all my live and when my Emily, why you want everything? Why? I know I know women love Loube and

sometimes yeah you do need it but like why do you want to like flopping all over a place with Loube? Right. No, but sometimes you can do. Why do you want to be like? You think it flops all over? I think like because it feels good. Slip it over to the all over a place. Why don't you keep guys want to keep stuff nice and tight? You know what I'm saying? I know but it does don't use too much. Leub don't pour half a bottle down her vagina But sometimes it just helps if she's lubricated and then she goes away You know sometimes you have sex and she's really wet at first and then she's not wet

There's nothing wrong with like whipping out some lip it feels really good I feel like it always feels better and I get wet on wet But sometimes I just like a little extra lube. And sometimes it's good for like, if you're fingering your partner or whatever, you can put it all over your body, lube's awesome. So the next thing is communication, talk to your partner about anal play.

Make sure you're both enjoying it. Are they comfortable? What sensations feel good to you? So people who are like new to anal play, they might not know. They might not be able to say, well, I like it when you stick it in this way, because they've never tried it.

So just try different options and see what feels better to you. So you can try a bunch of different things. Like I said, there's butt plugs, there's slim little vibrators that work. And you really like, you might benefit from that before going straight ahead with your penis. So choosing an anal toy, they're a great way to explore, like I said, different sensations, start out with something slimmer, there's glass toys, there's dildos, there's butt plugs,

you can check them all out, at goodvibes.com. Safety tips. Okay, you've got to be clean. It's more of a concern for anal play than other types of sacks. Make sure that any toys are cleaned and covered with a condom. So even if you're sticking a toy in your partner's butt, you've got to cover it with a condom. You can disinfect them afterwards,

but be sure that you use a condom and use clean. Make sure that they're clean. Even calluses and fingernails, like, you know, I hate this, like, when guys have weird fingernails hanging out and hanging things like, do they have hay nails, you got to be, you got to make sure that your hands are not too rough and there's calluses and all that because that could really hurt. So that's another tip. So anal sex, this is another tip.

It can be enjoyed even if it's been consistently uncomfortable in the past. So a lot of people have like one really bad anal experience and they're like oh my God I can never do it again. And so chronic anal tension is the most common cause of anal discomfort during sex. So tension can be relieved if you touch the anus and you become more familiar with it. So a lot of people if you masturbate with you probably do you can start playing around with your anus by yourself. You can stick a finger in there, you can stick a toy in there, where you're taking a shower

about to see how it feels. Start exploring it again. You might have had post-traumatic anal sex disorder. If you had someone who just tried to shove their penis inside you and you're like, no, no, I never want to do it, try exploring it on your own and see how it feels. You can also breathe really deep, that affects the anal muscles. You can tense them and then relax the anal muscles. It's another way of letting go. So that is a really good tip, breath and relaxation. And also anal stimulation provides so many kinds of pleasure. They're the highest

concentration of the nerve endings or around the anal opening itself, which is why sticking a finger in can be really effective. So and there's also other pleasures involved when the penis is inserted beyond the anal opening, but we will get to that in a minute, but that's the most sensitive part. And also people always want to know menace, they always want to know can anal sex lead to orgasm or anal stimulation. And there is a minority of people that respond orgasm ically to anal sex without direct genital stimulation.

So orgasms from anal stimulation, they think occurs mostly when the people get, it gets like absorbed through their sensations or their fantasies or they're really thinking about it a lot and they're had and they're having these fantasies and that could that could happen you can have an orgasm that way Also if you're touching your genitalia and something's in your anus that can also cause an orgasm so those are some of my tips and Oh another thing is it can be safe and tips and oh another thing is it can be safe and beneficial even if it's taboo and all that stuff that there's and there's risks of sexually transmitted diseases there are many people with chronic

mental problems like anal medical problems that have restored their anal health by challenging their negative attitudes and they've learned to love their anus and love having their anus penetrated so that's what we got for you for anal pleasure months. And I hope everyone in six floors are in this and you know what? If you don't have anal sex, next time you're masturbating, just use a little lew mistick your finger in there and see how it fails. That's all you got to do. I'm just asking you to do that. I'm not asking everyone to have anal sex. I'm not even saying you should ever do it. I'm just saying play around with it because as I often say, our bodies have so many erogenous zones that we don't even know about, and life is too short not to explore them.

Just do it today. Do something different with your sex life this week. Something a little bit different, not the norm. Do something different, M.S. I think you should have some anal sex to speak if you haven't already. Okay. Okay, how's that?

Sounds good. Anything else? Download, sit your to listen to this show. That's always a good thing. Or are we wrapping up? I'm sorry. Yeah, I guess we'll wrap this up. Okay, I'm sorry. Oh, just like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Well, just the thing is, this thing is just don't force it that, I mean, bring it up that you want to do it. But don't like try to force it on somebody. Cause when you try to force it on somebody, bring it up that you want to do it but don't like try to force it on somebody because when you try to force it on somebody then it's never going to happen.

You know, bring it up. Exactly. You know maybe have a cup of drink so bring it up again. Oh wouldn't that be funny and then just take your time with it. Don't just try to shove it in there. Don't shove it in there. Make sure she's prepared Make sure she's relaxed a lot of times it works if she's laying on her side like in the spooning position and

An amendment can kind of work it in that way, but that's a great point Menace like guys who was like I'm gonna just gonna stick it in we're really drunk and I'm just gonna F you from behind and you're in it like that is a way to get a woman running for the hells. You really want to, again, start with a finger, start slowly, just even when you're having sex and you're like, I wonder if she didn't be into this or not. You can just stick a finger in there, or start rubbing the rim of her anus and seeing if she pulls your hand away. Now, even if she pulls your hand away,

it doesn't mean that she might not ever want anal sex. It just means maybe it's new to her and she needs to warm up to it. So I feel like again, like the less aggressive you are as a man trying to anal sex with a woman, the more chances you are likely to find a woman who actually wants to have it. Right? Of course. Of course. And like you leave and communicate and all that crap. It's all really important, all that stuff, it's all really important.

And I just think that it just comes up all the time and I want to help people have better anal sex, especially during the month of August. You know everyone wants to do it. And that's what I got. Everyone wants to do it. Even if they say they don't, they don't want to. They're not everyone to do it. I mean, there's some guys, but I always always wonder there are men that I've dated in recent current recent time. They're like nope never had it not into it.

Mm-hmm. And I don't know why that is. You'd think they would want to have it once. Yeah. But some guys just don't because that's what makes the world go around right? Not everyone loves anal sex and not everyone whatever. So I just want people to try new things and have really great sex. That's what sexual envy is all about. I like it. You like it, men? Yeah. I miss you darling. It's things and have really great sex. That's what sexual Emily is all about. I like it.

You like it, menace? I miss you, darling. It's so good to talk to you. I know. I want to get back to Los Angeles and we've got to do a show together in LA. When you come in. Ah, man, that I'm available. I don't know yet.

I just come in town for a couple hours. That's always. Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Mattis. Thank you. You're awesome. Thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you?

Email me. Feedback at sexwithamlee.com. I've got to tell you about the flashlight. So flashlight is a male masturbation sleeve and you might be thinking, you know, I've got my hand. Why do I need it? But the male, this masturbation sleeve feels amazing. I, from

every single guy from the show who's listening about it, friends I've given it to, it, it simulates the feeling of actually having sex. And it, it's tight around your penis. It's in, I'm not really going to say it, man. You want one now, finally? No, I was talking about, aren't they based out of Nashville, right? They're in Texas. Oh, in Texas. I'm actually going to go watch them. There's going to be some porn stars And their vagina will be molded. They have to stand there and I'm going to go

Waitnest that and do it. Oh my co-workers that you invite me to take the tour and they said that I should do it You should it's an awesome to it's a good time. We're gonna go so the thing is that they've all these different patterns if you Like a particular porn star but you could buy one now and you could also buy the flesh-light stamina trade unit if you want a particular porn star, but you could buy one now. And you could also buy the Fleshlight Stamina trade unit if you want to last longer in bed. They're all different ridges and feelings. Like it's just like having set, it feels like you're having set to like a bunch of different people

if you buy a bunch of plastic. I saw one that like looked like Yoda or something like that. Is that the one that you want? Wind your birthday October. I'll get you. I'm gonna finish lunch. How about the Yoda one? So it's funny because yeah, the Fleshlight, you have amazing orgasms and literally it's like,

you know you use your hand, I know you might have sex, but it's just a great thing to be a vibrator. So guys might as well try something different. You add some lib to it. It's sex and a can. That could be even better than sex. I know that it's really easy to clean, all that stuff. Check it out though.

You guys go to sexwithelme.com, click on the Fleshite banner, use coupon code Emily, and you get a free bottle of their award-winning fleshloom. Thanks so much for listening, was it good for you? email me feedback at sexwithelme.com.