Sex With Emily - Flirt

Episode Date: December 9, 2011

Emily is going on an OM-ing retreat and her dog is ruining her life, who should initiate sexting?, getting hit on by lesbians, nipple play for men, oral sex in the cockpit of a plane, how Emily gets out of traffic tickets, sleeping with your gym trainer, kegel exercises during sex, watching porn with your guy friends or your partner, cooking with semen, men not able to orgasm from sex, advice for virgins, the top ten signs she is flirting with you, tips for flirting with her and the biggest mistakes you can make when approaching a woman. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between for more information about sex with Emily. Go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to our podcasts and do a lot of cool stuff there. Here's the thing about Sex with Emily. So we are so excited to announce this new Facebook promotion. We have going on.

If you go to the Sex with Emily Facebook page and you like it, or if you've already previously liked it, we're picking out one person every single day to get free sex with Emily for three months. So Go like it right now. Sex with Emily, Facebook, do it. You're good. You can win and you can get sex with Emily all the time because you know we're doing five.

We're doing four shows a week. We're not doing shows on Wednesdays. We're doing shows Monday Tuesday Thursday Friday. Friday's are free free Fridays, which is very exciting and We Sex with Emily is like if you become a friends Friends of Benefits member, you know, you get 15 cents a day, you get all the sex advice that you want, you get your answers, you get answers to your questions, your emails, we get hundreds of emails, Sex Advice. And your email goes to the very, very top, we answer it ahead of time. That's how you get it.

It's like, whether you're on call, Sex Adv call sex advisors if you become a friend's benefit member. So we appreciate that. And so just go like the page right now, because I know you're probably already on Facebook. Because do you know that everyone, like you just walk around offices and everyone's on Facebook all day long? Do you realize that? Men always talk about men. Men doesn't hear today.

But you always talk about how everyone is building is always on Facebook. I mean, not in my office, because we're always really busy. But most people are on Facebook all day long. So just go like the Sex Family page and you will get all the Sex Family you need. Three months, Sex Family. Okay, happy Monday everyone. It's just had a weekend, had the weekend. It was really fun. I did a lot of going out with friends, went to bars, met some guys. I talked to that guy that I was, that sent me flowers last week. I talked to him on the phone for a while.

I don't, I think I have all these guys that are just kind of floating around in my orbit. You do. I do, right now, Erin. Hi. Erin's filling in, Erin and Kelsey are here today. They're my amazing interns, and they are here today, filling in.

I do, I've guys, weren't those pretty flowers, you said? Oh my God, and they've lasted so long. I know. They're so pretty, they smell good. They smell good. They're your colors too. He knows something about you. Do you think?

I think so. I should tell him that. But I need to water them more. And then my dog, OK, I need to water them and cut them and take care of them. OK, we'll do that. Can we do that? OK.

So that was really nice. And then the guy was dating, who was I, town, he just got back in town, and it was awesome to see him. He was really cute. Woo! Yeah. He's been at town all summer. But we were dating for three weeks, and he was gone for three weeks,

so it kind of canceled it out. It's kind of like starting again. I was like a little nervous, whatever, but it was good. It was good to see him. Did you guys ever sexed? We never sexed. We never sexed the whole time he was gone. And I feel like, and my friend says that women have to initiate the sex thing because guys

are like, never know if a girl is going to freak out for sex. So do you agree that the girl hasn't, the woman hasn't initiated it? I mean, I do, I totally agree with that, but I feel like he could also set you up. I feel like that's there. He did, yeah, and he didn't set me up. No, he didn't.

He'd be like, how was your day? And then my friend was like, you should tell my day it would be better if your cock was in my mouth. And I was like, I'm not gonna say that if he's a toddler's day. That was your advice to me. And I'm like, I'm not, not, not, not, not, not, doing that. I'm not gonna say that. That's a little intense. And then your advice to me. And I'm like, I'm not doing that.

I'm not gonna say that. It's a little intense. And then I think Friday should, going back to Friday show. So we free show Friday now. And free show Friday is free. You can check it on the website. We had Nicole Daydon, who is the author of Slow Sex

and the Slow Sex Movement, which is all about oaming. It's awesome. And massaging your clitoris in different quadrants. And she actually, so she should go check that out. That's actually up on the website right now. It's free. Did I mention that? And she's, I'm going on some special retreat

where I'm gonna get owned. Like I'm gonna have this expanded orgasm thing. And I'm a little nervous. You're gonna meditate. I'm gonna meditate clitoris. It's my clitoris. And I feel like it's a good, it'll be good for the show. It will be good for me. Give you that map to the clitoris. Right.

So give that to you. And then we'll give that to our listener. Exactly. She's going to give me the map to clitoris, which is interesting because I'm just like glad that people can find the clitoris, but the clitoris apparently is broken into all these quadrants. Like you have to find the clitoris at one o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock, whatever. So it'll be interesting and There's math and science involved and we'll talk about that with the news today. Oh, okay, there's math and science involved Okay, we've got some sex in the oh today show. Let me tell you what we're talking about today show We've got some sex in the news and we'll be talking about flirting How to know if someone is flirting with you and how to approach someone because that is one of the top questions

I get asked when people is like how do I find a how do I find a woman how to approach someone. Because that is one of the top questions I get asked when people is like, how do I find a woman, how do I find a guy, there's no one to me, I live in the worst town to date in, it's everyone thinks that wherever they live is the worst town and they can't find anyone. So we're gonna get into flirting techniques and tips and what else is in there, how to approach a woman, the things you shouldn't do.

How to make her comfortable around you. I think that's the hardest part because once you are there with her, finally approach to you, like, what do I do? Right, exactly. How do you make her feel comfortable in an ease with this new guy that's just started talking to me? Because it's a fine line and it's not, and we're not going to give you any cheesy pick-up

lines because it's not about pick-up lines. Like that's like, like one guy's joke could be like another guy's like demise. Like it's all in like the delivery and who you are and it's about confidence. We're going to talk about that because I think like some people are natural flirts delivery and who you are and it's about confidence, we're going to talk about that. Because I think like some people are natural flirts, but do you think you can learn it? It is. Okay, you see there, you're a natural flirt or it's a learn skill for sure. It's like becoming a salesman.

Right. I hate to say it, but it really is similar. You have to learn to slide yourself and that's why like the pick up artist community, if you've ever read any of those books like, like that pick up artist, they all, like they all teach men how to talk to women. So that's what we are going to talk about today And we'll be reading your emails and some of the topics of your emails include porn The semen cookbook menu can't orgasm during intercourse and flirting techniques

So we're gonna talk about some flirting techniques and kegels and stuff like that too. My gosh Oh my gosh Champac day, yay, and then what else was I gonna mention? Get free Friday, no Wednesdays, and then- Okay, see you one more thing about Facebook. Please. You guys, we are logged onto Facebook during the show. So if you have some questions going on, I'll pull those over to Emily for you.

Yeah, so right now, too. Have a like, Caesar. Hey, Caesar, I can't wait. He is really excited to hear your advice about approaching a woman. Oh good, Caesar, we're gonna get their students. So yeah, if you want to go post on the wall right now go post post post away Cool, and so we are in yeah, and it's sex with them late on Facebook. So we are at Yeah, so I went out oaming and then I'm like I went out oaming

I'm chicken in my dog. I feel like oh Can you talk about it? Like I love her, but I feel like she's ruining my life in some ways. Okay, so what did she do? Wow. Which she have someone over? I had someone over. I had, okay. So I had someone over and she pooped in the house and then I stupidly picked up the poop and dropped it in the toilet with paper towels around it. Oh, yeah. If you're not supposed to put paper towels in the toilet. So do you, what, what, you pick her up or poop up with toilet paper next time? Yes.

And I flushed it just thinking because I wanted to get it done with and then whole, my whole house flooded with water. Oh, man. And then she like, just, you know, we have with the rug in the office and she's just, but I love her little face. Oh, I love her. She makes me happy. It's hard though, but I think it's, I'm going to give it two months and it's really good

for me and it's a really good experience to have a dog in my life. But, I did have someone over so maybe she was offended or she was feeling in bear. Yeah, she's feeling. It's a detention. Right, it's all about attention. I know. The letter sleep with you guys. I did let her sleep with us, but then she got impute, so it wasn't good. I know.

And then I went to this really cool bar in Friday night. I went to 25 Lusk, which is like a new hip like Do they serve wine? Yeah, I have to ask for a menace because it's guy I love that you're playing the menace role Did you have a lot of wine and talk about sophisticated things that I don't understand? No, but it's just kidding, it was all my friends, it was all my friends, and we risked totally psyched and we just I met told a bunch of girlfriends and I had some guy friends in from New York and there was a guy friend from New York who insisted and I found out later

that he was, I think he was kidding but he's like Emily, we totally fooled around last time I saw you. He said that we fooled around when I saw him in LA a few years ago and I don't remember and he's like no we totally did. Why do you bring that up again? Don't bring it up. He's like don't you remember? I don't know and I was like no and then I started feeling really bad. So of course me big mouth. I was like all my friends and I'm like you guys I looked up at them's like, don't you remember? I don't know. And then I started feeling really bad.

So of course, me big mouth. I'm telling all my friends. I'm like, you guys, I looked up at them apparently, but I don't remember. You're going to be too good. I'm going to be too good if you thought of that I looked up at you. But it was a really funny night. I'm going to play it. I'm going to play it.

Thank you. Well played. I'm going to play it. I'm like, I looked up at them and I don't remember. It doesn't sound too good for him. And then I went to, I went to a crab fest thing on Saturday. Crab fest. Crab fest. My mom goes to those.

Really? Yeah, sorry. It's cool. Whatever, it's like your mom. I love crab. I love crab too. But it was at this cool bar on the mission and we went to crab and then we went to another party after at my friend's house and then we went.

I was a very busy party. Did you observe any flirting this weekend? I did. I did. I was getting hit on by lesbians this weekend because my friends were lesbians. And I actually, for a moment there, I was standing with my friend who's not a lesbian, but I was talking to these lesbians.

They were like, oh, I really like her earrings to my friend. And my friend said, oh, Emily gave those to me my birthday because she's like my best friend. And they're like, oh, and they assumed that we were a couple together. And then we weren't a couple together because then she talked about how we met through my ex-boyfriend.

But yeah, I got hit by lesbians, which is kind of hot. That is hot. I know. Okay, that's hard because lesbians can, they can read you that you're straight. Like they, okay, I have a lesbian friend who says that you straight women look at her, like she's, you know, like they don't see her. Oh. And so you must have that vibe.

I have that vibe. Well, I think I'm a natural, so we're like they don't see her. Oh. And so you must have that vibe. I have that vibe. Well, I think I've been natural, so we're gonna tag about flirting today. I do think I'm a natural flirt, and I've always been that way, and I think I said, it's like people, like, boy, friends have gotten mad at me. They've been like, I feel like you were flirting

with the waiter, and I'm like, I was ordering my chicken. Like, I don't think that I was flirting, but. Amen, I know. I know. I do. People think that you're a natural flirt. I mean, just play with my hair. It's about how I do

Okay, we'll talk about it soon. Okay, so I guess we get into the sex of the news. Yeah, we're so inclined Well to crazy place this weekend. Okay, you guys this is the deal sex the news gone crazy. Okay, scientists Finally locate the clitoris. Okay, where's the app? Okay, exactly we are doing a clitoris app, but no, it's a G-spot app. Oh, that's right. That's right. Finally, scientists are telling us what we've been telling men forever.

Namely, the clitorial and vaginal stimulation actually provide different sensations. Scientists have used MRI brain scans to determine that these two types of stimulation differ because they actually activate different parts of the brain. So they're saying like the G-spot orgasm and the clitoral orgasm are activating different parts

of the brain. In addition to the fact that vaginal and clitoral situations differ, the study also found that stimulation of a woman's nipples actually activates the same region as genital stimulation. So this is orgasm research, the maximum. I love when they do orgasm research. Oh, it's good.

It's so important. It's good. So important. Many to know. And we know that nipple orgasms are the second most common type of orgasm. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, so, and you know what I find interesting is the met, just go off on nipples for a minute.

Men who find their, there's a lot of men who's nipples are sensitive and you never know it. And some men might not even know if their nipples are sensitive And you got to play with it. They might be like a first thinking. Oh, that's for chicks nipple plays for chicks nipple plays him for me But I think that a lot of dudes actually find Can find it. How do you play with their nipples? I mean, so you think of that movie? Um, I'm not sure it's been stiller and his like he gets married really quickly He's in a relationship and then she's like playing with the nipple hair a relationship, and then she's, like, playing with the nipple hair

around his nipple, and she's going around in circles, around his nipple, he's like, stop that. And then she, like, starts going in square. I never saw it. I never saw it. I never saw it. So Ben Stiller might not be. You might have been like, I put some sign for nipples

on randomly, like, touch your guy and, like, save you the job. Yeah, because the guy's, like, don't little bite, little bite, little nipple, little pinch, little lick, little lick, and then you blow on the nipple anyway interesting it's scientists are studying clitoris I love when they do research for women okay man has sex with cat before throwing it out the window oh my god this is sad it's a tragedy a man is facing several charges after admitting to police that

he had sex with the cat and then threw it out of the window killing it. Police following up on reports in a man with no pants on had thrown a cat out of a window came to a man's apartment. The man admitted to using meth. First tonight having a cat police said later he changed his story and told his police his boyfriend through the cat from the window three hours prior. This is so sad. This is an animal abuse.

When police told the man that witness of the cat was throwing more recently, he said he attempted to have sex with the cat and then threw it out the window along with a pornographic DVD. The man is charged with animal torture, bestiality, and indecent exposure and could spend five years in jail. Good.

Who wants to have sex with their cat? Someone on meth. I don't know. Does meth make you want to have sex with the cat? I think it just makes you want to take weird things. Exactly. I'm not sure. What is this boyfriend thing about this?

I don't know. I hopefully the boyfriend broke up with him. That is so sad. I hope it wasn't the boyfriend's cat. Oh my god. Oh my god. The poor kitty. So anyway, but then it's sex in the news,

and that's what we're bringing to you today. Sick. Let's move on. Airline investigates alleged cockpit blowjob picks. I saw it. I saw it. You saw that. So a woman apparently was giving oral sex to a captain of a plane.

A specific airline says it's investigating two leaked pictures that allegedly show a stewardess giving a pilot a blowjob in the cockpit of one of its planes. And airline spokesperson woman sends a statement, we are conducting a fulljob in the cockpit of one of its planes. And airlines folks will win women's sentence statement. We are conducting a full investigation into the matter. And there are some indications that the female shaman in the photos may be a member of our cabin crew. Oh, God. There is no evidence whatsoever to suggest

that the act took place in flight. And there are no reasons to believe that any safety breaches have occurred. According to the Chinese language, Apple Daily, the pilot, a foreigner, has issued a legal letter to the newspapers saying the photos have been stolen from his personal computer. Dude, just wait and get on the tellroom.

Why are you doing in the cockpit? Can I just say this is an Asian airline and he looked very well in doubt. Really? Wow. He did. But I don't know. He had a lot of chest hair and they blurred out the face so i can't

i don't know who he is or what he is but i mean she was good looking girl really well i mean good looking girl he's like well it's the cock it is a fantasy that is i'm sure it was a fantasy for him the mile high club the mile i club but they were but we don't know they were mile high oh you're right people are just dumb they still from his computer i don't know i mean i can get it there, you're right. People are just dumb. They still from his computer. I don't know. I mean, I can get that there'd be like a traction

on the job to the stewardess. And whenever boy take it home. Or to the pilot. Or to the pilot. Exactly. Like, a whole fantasy thing. OK. Survey finds one third of Americans more willing to give up

sex than their mobile phones. Oh, God. There's always do know how many studies we've had that have come out that are like people would rather eat not, you know, would rather get've had that have come out that are like people would rather eat not you know would rather get new genes in F-sexy people would rather like go shopping than F-sexy people would rather have an animal than F-sexy not have sex with the animal. But um but we owe these to come out a lot. So this most recent study says as a national survey indicates that Americans are willing to give up some of life's greatest pleasures in order to

hang onto their mobile phones. iPhone users were more likely than their Android, more likely than their Android or Blackberry counterparts to spend a week without their significant other. Exercise or shoes rather than go a week without their phone. One-third of all respondents would be more willing to give up sex for a week than their mobile phones, 70% more women. Hmm, yeah. Women in their phones. I mean, the phone vibrates.

I know, exactly. Have the phone vibrate, but what is it more like? I think no one can Women in their phones. I mean, the phone vibrates. I know, exactly. Have the phone vibrate, but what is it more like, I think no one can live without their phones these days. I don't, yeah. I'd like to. Sometimes you know that week where your phone's broken, you're like, oh, it's good.

It is the best. It is the best. Or just a few hours you're in a movie, you turn off your phone or something. Like, it's, I think we're all addicted to our phones. We should, I mean, I want to know what the listeners would give up for. Right. For sex. What listeners would give up for sex.

What would you give up for sex? Is there anything you'd give up? Or what would you give up for sex? Would it be your phone? Which life's greatest pleasure would you give up, would you rather give up for sex? That would say it more. We'll ask them, maybe.

Okay, we will ask them. Tell us on Facebook. Yeah, sex, then we have Facebook. Okay, big boy from Outcast, a rest of the possession of exesity Viagra. I love Outcast. I love Outcast too. Outcasts Antoine, big boy, Patton was a rest of this weekend on suspicion of drug possession. More specifically, unsuspicioned these in possession of XC, both Pills and Powder, Drug Fair, Parapornelia and Viagra Accord interreports pet and was sniffed out by border border patrol can at canines well exiting a cruise in Miami and change with four and charge with four separate offenses

A statement from his lawyer read well big boy was traveling with his group of friends a small amount of contraband was found in the collective Luggage I'm confident when the entire effects are aeratol be completely exonerated. Sounds like a good time. These are rockstar. Yeah, that's a bad background. If I ever got illegal, no. But you probably had an illegal subscription to it. Oh, I see. Yeah, and a lot of times when you're doing a lot of drugs, you can't get it up, so you need

a viagra. Well, big boy got, he's got to live his life. He's got to live his life. He's got to do actually in fact. He's got to get in the headlines. But it's not good to do viagra only all the best work but don't do it uh... do you think i'll come back to say that you can't exactly kagel's are so much more

fun and okay cable companies are begging you to watch more porn in the past decade cable providers have avoided discussing the fact that a portion of their revenue comes from pay, purview, and on-demand porn. Today, the Wall Street Journal reports that while TV executives once tried to hide just how much of their revenue came from porn, they've been more forthcoming now that they need to explain what's cutting into their profits. Well, only a sliver of the cable company's 4.9 billion revenue of

the quarter, porn is one of the TV providers most profitable segments. In 2010, cable and satellite providers made about 899 million from on-demand porn, down from 1 billion just two years earlier, meanwhile, online porn is only becoming more popular. Through the shift from films on cable to short online videos, I've already proven the average porn view doesn't care too much about quality. He or she may be interested in paying for something like a celebrity sex tape. So these companies, and they want to move forward.

Of course we're going to go online. Of course we're going to do the more convenient thing. Exactly. They need to find sex tapes, celebrity sex tapes. They should buy Kendra. I bet you there's a ton of celebrities that are going to take advantage of this. Yeah.

I'd be like, oh, I'll sell my selects tape cable company. Totally. I'm thinking of SexTapemxWeek. Yeah. So, Kate, but speaking of which, if you want alternatives to that, there is FireTV, one of our sponsors, who I'm obsessed with, FOITV.com, and you can totally get anyone who becomes a friend's benefits member. Right now, you get 30 minutes free of fire TV. You can watch it on your iPad,

you can watch it on your iPhone, you're on any smartphone, you can watch it on your laptop, and they have 20,000 titles there, the Netflix of porn. I'm telling you, fire TV is so cool. If you go and you want to become a friend of benefits member, we will let you know how to access the 30 minutes for free.

It's just kind to me about that. They gave me a set top box in my home, which 20,000 titles, which I always, like, allure men over. I'm like, so we can go over and watch porn. No, we had a porn party. I know, but I tell men, guy friends, they can come over and watch porn. That's a good idea. Thank you.

That sounds fun. It's fun. They're like, what do you want to do? I'm like, I don't know, watch porn. Yeah, there's a hot stuff on there. I know. I knew in your boyfriend But I know like she totally like her boyfriend came. We were having the interns pizza and porn party and She kind of just migrated to the front room and was watching porn. Yeah, yeah Actually the other day I was fantasizing about one of the points I was watching really which one I want to know It was the one with is like a school teacher reprimanding her. It was the one I blocked out. She was reprimanding one of the male students

and then he teaches her a lesson, you know, and I'm trying to wear the desk. It's hot. That is so hot. I want to find that one. It's so hot. Okay. We were all getting to that together. It was so awesome. Okay. That is what we've got for sex in the news. That was a lot of good sex in the news. That's crazy. That's because the man who's cared about the window, that's just bad. That's really sad.

Oh, poor little ammon. Strange. OK, let's get into some emails. Oh, first we got to talk about the poll. OK, what's your favorite role-play scenario? This was our poll. These are the results. OK, 17% said police officer in civilian. So this was their poll, these are the results.

Okay, 17% said police officer in civilian. 25% said teacher and student. These are their top role plays scenarios. 28% said nurse and patient. And 30% said boss and employee. What do you think about that? Boss and employee, if you think people have fantasies about looking up at their bosses or their employees?

I know, like leading the business. What do you like? My top fantasy there? Mm-hmm. I'd say maybe teacher and student, which is like what your fantasy, was that your fantasy? It was, but the boy was the student. It was kind of reversed.

Wow. So that was cool. That's hot. Yeah. I thought you were what's your favorite then? I don't know. I mean the whole civilian and police officer thing seems kind of hot. Yeah, that is hot too. I could hold over and totally agree. Best by the busty police officer. I got pulled over by a police officer once and he, for that time, I was

telling Wendy that she was walking back because police officers pulled me over once and I was just like, it was late at night. I was coming out from a club. I was that drunk. But I did some me over once and I was like it was late at night. I was coming up from a club. I was not drunk. But I did some illegal turn and he's like, you look familiar to me and I was like, yeah, the show called Sex Tell Me. He's like, what do you talk about in the show? I'm like, how hot police officers are.

I said that too. And he's like, come on. I was naturally flirty and then I got on the car and I was like, are you going to frisk me and I leaned over my car. I literally did this and he was like, oh my god, you're hilarious. And he gave me his car and told me to call him and I did not get a ticket. And it was the one time I didn't get a ticket because I always get pulled over and I always get tickets, but I didn't get ticket. Because for some reason I was feeling super confident like this cop, because I said we

talk about how hot police officers are and then he was like playing. So then I was like, you gonna frisk me and I bent over my car. You got out of the car. I got out of the car and bent over my car and said, you get to frisk me. And then my friend was driving by and she was like, what the hell are you doing? Because she was following me because we were on the way to another party. It was hilarious. Oh my god.

Did you call it? I do not call them. Okay. I'm not. I don't know. It felt kind of strange. Yeah. It was a, it was just a good story.

Because I do want to call me. It's a great story that I have forgotten about it. Okay, here's our latest poll that you need to check out. Where's the best place to get your flirt on since we're talking about flirting today? A coffee shop, a bar, the gym, or the laundry mat. And I've gotten my flirt on at all those places that I have to say I met a significant boyfriend at the coffee shop. Okay. Bars for sure, I met one of my first serious boyfriends at a bar in San Francisco. The gym, usually well, it's actually not my gym, I gave gym, I'm not going to be anyone, but my gym in the past I have gone, I think I had sex with a trainer once at a gym.

It was really hot, it was my trainer, and then we had sex. And that was fun. I was in really good It was my trainer. I was my trainer. And then we had sex. And that was fun. I was in really good shape. I was in the trainer. Not at the gym. But it's kind of, I can see why people see but they're trainers because I did it. And I think it's like hot. They're like touching your body and they're like getting, they're like sexy in their hair.

They're like, you're a little spandex. Yeah, and I have my spandex. And he's like, like, lifting my arms and whatever. And then we slept together. This was years ago. Well Kelsey you saying that people are horneer when they're working out Yes, you're testosterone and for women you're you're all your oxytocin and all the stuff that spikes But yeah, definitely hooking up with a Girl Monday, especially hooking up with the um with trainers hot. Yeah, cuz they're touching your body

They know your body and then you get get free workouts. Yeah, awesome. Okay, um, then the Did I just say yeah, I said that Lanes where would you what's the best place to get your flirt on the laundromat? I have a laundromat machine. What would you say is best place to flirt? I mean, I bar your flirt you flirt everywhere, right? Oh gosh. Yeah, I mean, I guess yeah Just on the street. I mean, I guess yeah, just on the street I like the leading to nowhere flirting so I'm gonna say Me actually using like the public transportation. I love that because then you get to walk away at the perfect moment Exactly. You can just kind of leave them with like a lingering look or something. Yes. Yes. So I'm out of there

I would probably say somewhere where I could leave maybe the laundromat would be good, because you always need an exit plan. We'll talk more about that. Right, and you can ask him for a quarter. We're getting into Florida. You can ask him for, like, yeah. Oh, yeah, don't pay for a laundromat. You have your cue. Right.

Oh, and I had a guy, okay, four times later. The guy who bought me a beard, that's always weird when a guy buys you a drink at the bar, like I wouldn't lead with that, but that bought me this drink, and I was like, I'm not gonna sit here and talk to him. And this would take his Man card. I know buy for a girl unless you go with her right exactly. I know he would you're like you're like the little mini

Minus. He's a lot of Falusa right now when he's coming back. Okay first of all okay, oh he this can see emails. Okay, so dear Emily first of all just finished watching the interns gone wild fetish Friday episode. Love the interns. It was fun seeing and hearing from them. I love my interns too. And if you've not seen fetish Friday with interns, what was that two weeks ago? Yeah, it was awesome.

It was fun. OK, I have a Kaggle question. So I think I get the idea about how do the exercises, but as a man, how do I realize the benefits in the bedroom? Do things just go better automatically? Am I supposed to be tensing my PC muscles during sex? And if so, when the whole time, intermittently, just like when I feel like I'm getting close

to orgasm, thanks Emily Menace and Wild Interns, ha ha Marvin. He is from Nashville, Tennessee and he's a premium member. He's a front benefits member. And you He's a friend of a benefits member. And you can become a friends of benefits member too. If you go sign up on the website, and you will have any sex question that you have that comes to your mind answered like that. Okay, so Marvin, the thing about the Keggles is,

yes, I do think sex will get better. I don't know if you're having any issues sexually, but if men do their Keggles, I said they're not for women, only they're for men and women, and you could download my app K Kegel Camp, from the iTunes store and get it. But Kegel exercises are, I think things do go better automatically. I think you're strengthening your muscles. It's like you're strengthening.

You've to strengthen your kegel muscles, just like you strengthen your biceps. So I think that if you have stronger, longer, longer, more intense orgasms, and it'll help you with, if you are having any premature ejaculation issues or having any issue staying hard, it'll automatically help that. And I think you don't have to flex them the whole time, but maybe when you feel like you're about to orgasm, you can start flexing them and see what happens,

see how you feel. Like when you're getting close to orgasm, I would try then, because I think that that will really intensify your orgasm. If you start doing the muscles right, if you start doing the exercises right when you're about to orgasm, it's supposed to be explosive. I'm not a dude. I've never had a male orgasm, which I wish I could be a man

for a day and have a penis. I always wish that. But if I could have a penis for a day, yeah, I would do my kegels and I would I would just ejaculate all over everyone Oh God on the face on the face on the face on the ass on the behind I would just ejaculate a Starbucks I don't care that one but I would I would be psyched of a penis for a day. Oh You that'd be havoc that'd be crazy That'd be so fun. Yeah, oh I'm so glad not to do it. Yeah, I just want to penis But I don't think men over like I really want to vagina

Do they I don't know depends on the man. Sure. Maybe they do you're right. Okay, also this is from Marvin I heard you mentioned the promotion for 30 minutes of fire TV I don't know if I would qualify but I'm asking I signed up for them shortly after you started promoting them Since then I've bought a few scenes and movies from Fire TV Library. My wife and I have watched them together and talked about what we liked about them. Porn is so much more fun when shared with the partner. Oh my God. Thanks. Again that's also from Marvin. So yeah that's awesome. So the Fire TV promotion is for anybody who's become a friends with benefits

member. All you have to do to take advantage of the free 30 minutes is you launch the chat window on Fire TV and tell the agent that there's become a friends with benefits member, all you have to do to take advantage of the free 30 minutes is you launch the chat window on Fire TV and tell the agent that there's a chat window, it says chat, we're gonna get the system better, we're gonna get it more concrete, but for now you just tell the agent that you came in via sex with Emily. So you're like, I'm here with sex with Emily

and we'll give you 30 minutes free of Fire TV, but you have to become a friend's benefits member first. And I love that you watched it. I mean, Erin, you had that issue. I think just to talk about porn for a minute, porn is a huge, is huge, right? So we know like a lot of men, I don't wanna say all men, but a lot of men, it's their own personal thing.

Like they masturbate to porn, they keep it separate from their partners, their girlfriend, their wives or whatever. But there is something to be said, and I'm not saying that you need to not watch it alone anymore. But when you bring your partner into the mix with watching porn, it can really, really enhance your sex life.

It can, by talking about what, because it's like, you don't have to just start the conversation blindly. You have porn that you're watching, and you can say, oh, that really turned me on when she bent him over the death, when he bent her over the desk. Exactly. Exactly. In her ass, which is what Aaron did during the porn thing, like you were like, that's hot, that's not hot. And I'm always telling couples to talk to themselves, if your sex life is waning or you're having not having amazing sex anymore, or you just want to spice it up, watch some porn with your partner. And there's porn that is for men and for women, there's porn for couples. That's really good. You can also sort

by that on fire TV or anywhere you watch porn. You can. There's porn for couples, that's really good. You can also sort by that on Fire TV or anywhere you watch porn. You can sort for like porn for couples, softer porn, porn, lesbian, whatever topic you want. And when you watch it together, you just learn a lot of by each other's actually. I think it's a great tool. Each partner might have a different preference.

Like one might like it slow, one might like it fast. And you guys have to incorporate that and just communicate what you want because you're not gonna get what you want unless you ask for it. Exactly, you have to ask for it. And so porn's a great way to just like, open up that whole thing.

So you should do that. Okay, Emily, I want to send you pictures for Fettish Friday of the glory hole. I made it for my wife and I. How can I catch the photos, not X-rayed or anything like that? This thing is very well constructed. Now, if only I could figure out how to bring up the cooking with Seaman to my wife to see if she would even try one of the

recipes. Jeff from Florida, he is a front-of-benefits premium member. Okay, so he made a glory hole, which means that it's a hole that he puts his penis in. And it's the thing that I've seen in the movies. It's like, oh, you stick your penis in and someone's on the other side. And it's just like an anonymous hookup. I mean, which sounds kind of fun if he does it with his wife. Exactly. I love when people are sharing this stuff that they're doing with their wives or their partners.

And the Seaman recipe, we did do a whole show on Seaman. And there was a Seaman recipe book, and he sent the link. Oh, he sent it. Thank you so much. And his wife, I think, right, he said the link. And his wife isn't down to Cook with Seaman. I'm not really down to Cook with Seaman either. Just, you know, top it in your margarita.

So I got to do my margarita recipe. I love my margarita recipe. I gotta make more margaritas. We're gonna do the drinking show soon. Oh good. And we can drink margaritas. Okay. Dear Emily, my ex was unable to orgasm

for the entire year that we dated dated I can literally count on one hand This is from a woman by the way I can kind of one hand the amount of times he orgasm during sex with me He had no problem getting you're keeping it up It was just completing the deed that never happened. We would go on it for almost an hour Need this to say ruin sex for me because it went on for too long and because sex was always 100% about him and never about my satisfaction. It was upsetting for me to deal with it as a woman because we were raising a culture that makes it seem like it's easy for a man to get off.

I started doubt my attractiveness and abilities in bed. He kept saying that it wasn't me, but since I know we could get himself off by masturbation, I was convinced that it was. Anyway, I'd like to thank you for mentioning that you also had that experience. Maybe feel less alone. I'd really like to hear what other people have to say in the topic, even a doctor perhaps. Women are expected to have more difficulty climaxing,

but what about a man? Another interesting angle is how does your partners in ability to orgasm affect your ability to enjoy sex? Just some thoughts, cute with the good work, sincerely Amy. Thanks Amy, that's a really good question. I have to say, and I did bring it up, that there are, it's not as common as women

not being able to orgasm, but there are a lot of men who are not able to have orgasms during intercourse, and they can only have orgasms during masturbation. And there's like a multitude of reasons. It could be because they are more comfortably just like they're in their routine of masturbation, and they've never learned how to expand

that orgasm practice into their sex. And so maybe there's a way you guys could could have done like mutual masturbation and they've never learned how to expand that orgasm practice into their sex. And so maybe there's a way you guys could have done like mutual masturbation together and he could have shown you what he liked and then you could have corporate that into sex as well. But it's never really about you. I know that women beat him but I'm not hot enough, I'm not pretty enough. But yeah, the same thing happened to me with a guy and it was so frustrating because it did get to be a bit of a he's never going to orgasm.

And I think it's almost more frustrating because we're raising a culture where men do orgasm quickly or can orgasm most of the time. And it tells you about the woman, but it sounds like it's good that you are not with this guy anymore because he was, he made it all about him and he didn't make it about you. So it's one thing if you have a guy that can't orgasm, but if he's like, it's all about my orgasm and he's not even trying to please you in those times that you're having sex trying to get him to orgasm and he's ignoring you I don't think that's a very good thing. So, but I love that topic if anyone wants to write in about it How does your partner's inability to orgasm affect your ability to enjoy sex?

I think it affects all of our abilities. I mean, I think that there's there's a lot of men that I think and women I've been a man who like if I don't have an orgasm it bums them out. They're like super bummed. They're like what did you wrong and I oh you won and then there's guys who don't care and those are the guys that I'm not with. But there's ones who are like whatever if you didn't orgasm, I'm gonna have an orgasm. So I think you hear both, but I think we all want everyone to have orgasms. Yeah. I mean, especially if you're unable, you imagine that he would be really into like, okay, well, I can't see you. I'll please you, right?

Yeah, I'll please you, and then I'll please myself. Right. Because it's true that orgasm is your responsibility. Maybe he just has to incorporate that. He, I mean, masturbation, that can still be incorporated into sex. Exactly. And I think I would take it personally too.

I see where she's coming from. I would totally take it personally. I would totally take it personally. But hot enough, and obviously you are hot because he's with you. Right. But I'm sure you are hot, but it has sounds like he has nothing to do. Yeah.

Like the guy that I dated. Yeah, it's his issue. And he should work on it. If it's something that's going to bother him, bother his relationships. I mean, this guy that I dated just said to me that it was um that he Never was able to orgasm with when he's like I just never am able to so we just kind of knew that But it was also kind of like a bummer like and sometimes he could but we'd have to go for like an hour every time

I was like I don't have an hour and it wasn't even about the time It wasn't even about it was just like he needed to get to a certain place and it just a pain So like a chore it was like it felt like a chore. Yeah, that's that. And he wasn't as into pleasing me either. So you guys got to hear these guys. Who are these guys? I didn't think I'd have dated them because I've got good stories. Have they ever heard sex with Emily?

Oh, yeah. No, all they did. I told you my ex-boyfriend from college just listened to the show. Oh, I know. That's exciting. I know. That was exciting.

And he said, I sounded the same. OK. So OK. Hey, Emily and said, I sounded the same. Okay. So, okay. Hey Emily and Madness, I just found your podcast on iTunes today. You two are very clever. It's great to hear people talk honestly and openly about sex.

I come from a community and family that never ever talks about sex. So that being said, I am a virgin. And I'm pretty scared that when I first have sex with a girl, I will be completely in experience. I might make some big mistakes that I can a virgin. And I'm pretty scared that when I first have sex with a girl, I will be completely in experience. I might make some big mistakes that I can't avoid. I just don't want to feel goofy in that situation. I'm also pretty in experience with relationships with women.

I'm trying to start out more super tight friendship with women so that I won't be completely in a dark. Is there any specific advice you can give me when I become intimate with a woman? I know that a good relationship is built on trust but I don't have experience with anything physical. We're sparkfully Andrew from Canada. Hey Andrew, I would just say that I would say that I can't really give you any physical experience. It's hard to like for me to give you that I can't be like break it down, kiss her and then whatever. Because it's a very like natural organic process.

So I would just try to be in the moment and try to be reading her signals and what makes her feel good. And the kissing thing is like don't go too hard. Like a lot of men's mouths are so much bigger than women. So I would just start with like gentle kisses and remember this. Women, every, this is just some of the tips I can give you is that touch a woman five times lighter than you think she wants to be touched. So a lot of guys are into like the grabbing and the pulling of the tips I can give you is that Touch a woman five times lighter than you think she wants to be touched So a lot of guys are into like the grabbing and the pulling of the nipples or the mouth

They're kissing you with their tongue and they're shoving it on your throat If you do this this rule and you're like I really want to touch her this hard But I'm gonna do a five times lighter. That's a really good tip to to just to to know what to do But I wouldn't worry about honey because you are a virgin and it's fine. And when you get to that point, you will figure it out along the way. I promise, and I don't advise that you watch porn because porn is not a great way.

I advise that you watch it for your own reasons. I'm not saying that, but porn isn't the best way to learn about sex. Because a lot of times they're shooting angles, like they're shooting the scenes because they think because what looks good on film but it's not necessarily what feels good to a woman. So I would not use porn as things. So the specific advice I would say is just touch her softer, pay attention to her cues,

is she moaning, is she breathing heavy, is she screaming out, I mean, then I'd pull away. Yeah. Also, if he's making friends with some women, I mean, as far as getting advice for a case-by-case basis, if women always want to help men become better men, you know what I mean? They want you to succeed. And if you're getting into some friendships with women, just find a few that you could seek advice with.

Exactly. They will probably give you the best advice if they see a woman that you're interested in and help you break it down. Exactly. Talk to your friends. Yeah. So you said you're starting to see us. You're starting more super tight friendship with women, so I won't be in the dark, which

is a great, sounds like you're doing all the right things, Andrew. And I just wouldn't trip on it, being a virgin. Don't trip on it. Just know that that's part of the process. We were all virgins once, and we all get through it, and you will too. Okay, dear Emily, first off, I reside in Europe and there's differences in how people flirt. I feel awkward when I hear about the rules for dating in the US. You have to act like this and that in the first encounter on the second you have to this, allow that on the

third and you're out of the game. This puts an immense amount of pressure on the people engaged in dating. You propose a smile, you've proposed a smile at people to make flirting your routine task in your daily life. Practicing this myself in the subway while doing the shopping or all my way to work, I get the most irritated responses. Why is this? I don't think I'm ugly and speaking for my professional experience, I am someone who

was liked by people quite easily. Kind regards, sign thankful needs. So flirting, that's a great entree into our flirting show. I would say that just keep doing it. I don't know maybe you're doing it in appropriate moments. People look really busy, you're talking to people who are kind of stressed out or they're not. But it's a rejection. It's a game of rejection. Learning how to talk to women and building your confidence, you're going to get rejected along the way. And not everyone's going to want to talk to you and not everyone's going to respond to you, but it is a numbers game and

it's a confidence game. And it is the more you do something, the more confident you're going to be. So I would say that you have to just, you do have to practice flirting your daily life. If you want to learn a new skill, you have to practice it. So flirt with everybody. And maybe you're not getting really irritated responses. Like maybe you're thinking they're irritated, maybe they're just busy, they're moving, and there's nothing to do with you flirting.

So I would still flirt, but we're going to get into some tips here, some specific tips. Yeah, I don't have any experience flirting in Europe. But if you'd like to fly me out, I'll do some research. Oh, nice. I'll fly out and do research. I love it. No, I mean, yeah, let's get into the tips,

because I think the tips will really help you. Okay, let's get into some sex tips. Okay, I mean the sex, the flirting tips, we're going to talk about flirting. First thing is, here are some signs that you know if she's flirting because, you know, there was a study that came out a few years ago that said that women are really good at reading cues of men. Like we can tell if a guy's into us, we can tell what he wants, we can tell, like he's into my friend, we can tell that he wants to leave.

Men, not so much. Men, not as good as reading cues from women. So we thought that we should break this down for you so you know if she's actually flirting with you. Okay, and it might not be that she's full of them flirting and just because she's flirting does not mean she wants to suck your penis. It just means that she's flirting with you, okay?

So she smiles. When a woman is interested in you, her smile can hold your attention from across the car to your room and it's definitely one of the major signs that she's flirting. It takes an effort on her part to do so. So if she's exerting this kind of effort, engage in her flirting by returning the smile. Absolutely. Return the smile, just smile. I do that all the time, like walk down the street, like you will smile.

Exactly. Like you can smile or you cannot. And if she all the time, like walk down the street, like you will smile. Exactly. Like you can smile or you cannot. And if she smiles at you, that's such a good sign. Right. Or just smile at someone you find attractive on the street. Just smile. Yeah.

Just smile. She keeps walking by. If it seems that she continues to walk by with apparently no sense of why she's there, so she's there for you. She's trying to get you to notice her without the obvious side. She's flirting and you need to say something and daring. So if she keeps stalking you at at the bar she's walking past her like oh I need my drink oh I need a drink stutter oh I need a napkin. It's usually

like eyes on the way to the bathroom. Yep yep that's what it is. Make an eyes of you she might be into you. Check her out. She draws attention to her mouth. A woman's mouth can be extremely seductive and she's fully aware of this fact. Some of the effective signs she's flirting will have her applying lip goss, running her fingers across her lips or using the straw in her cocktail instead of just sipping from the glass. That's dirty. It is dirty. Dirty. Using the straw with the cocktail. I apply lip gloss all the time but I don't think it's flirty. It's like the eye contact as you apply. I think.

I like this. Yeah. Oh my goodness. You guys, are you watching right now? Emily is flirting with you. I'm flirting with you. Mm-hmm. And I'm licking the straw. OK. She isolates herself.

This is all the top 10 signs she's flirting. If she's after having made eye contact, she's raised from the pack and she's trying to flirt with you. If she's specifically removing herself from her fortress of friends, and this is one of the sure signs she's flirting and letting contact, she's drazed from the pack and she's trying to flirt with you. If she's specifically removing herself from her fortress of friends and this is one of the sure signs she's flirting and letting you know she's lowering her defensive barriers to let you in. Oh, that's an opportunity.

Yeah, if she's removing herself from her friends. So you don't have to have a ring man to deal with that. Exactly. The grenade as men this would say. Right. Who's the grenade again? The friend that your friend has to talk to while you're flirting. Oh, not the cute girl.

It's not from Jersey Shore or something. I don't know, probably. Oh god, menace. OK. She mimics your body movements. For some reason, when human beings are interested and fat-rooted with each other, they begin to pick up certain traits for the other person.

If she mimics your mannerisms, the way you hold the drink, the way you're sitting, she may be very interested in gaining your attention. And giving you're sitting, she may be very interested in gaining your attention and giving you solid signs. She's flirting, imitation is rather a high form of flattery after all. So it's funny, we were talking about this in the office and I've learned this before that even if you're like in a business meeting with someone,

and let's say your hands are folded like this, like you're folded, and then you're talking to someone and then they fold their hands like that, or they put their hand on their cheek, and you put your hand on your cheek, it means that there is some mutual admiration going on and it can mean that in the business meeting but it can also mean it in flirting. It means that she's engaged, that she's interested in you and that she's mimicking your body movements. So that's something to look for. And I actually

have started to look for that when I'm in meetings. People are like, oh, she's doing my same thing. That means that we're having a really good meeting. I don't know. I mean, it's fun. It's funny, but it's kind of true. You mimic someone. Yeah. Like they're comfortable and you're comfortable maybe. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. OK. She plays with her hair. Turtles her hair. Guilty. I do that all the time. Oh, the all the time. When trying to get your attention,

she may twirl her hair in her fingers or let a cascade in front of one eye, adding a sense of come Heather, mystery, turborsona. See, I play with my hair all the time. I don't know if I'm always flirting, but I know. I always ask people on Twitter, and like, is this, am I giving bad signals? And a lot of people are like, it's just so cute

that you find it there. It is cute, but it's also, it could also be a nervous habit. It could be a nervous habit. My friend has that nervous habit, Giles everyone crazy, but, but if she's touching her hair, yeah, that could definitely, or like flipping it back to see you from behind her shoulder. Right. So flip the light. Oh yeah. Right. Okay. So anything with her hair, she touches you.

The slight touch that sends chills up both your spines and makes your hair stand on at is one of the hallmark signs that she's flirting. When she reaches out and lightly touches your forearm or shoulder, hand or wrist, you know you have a live one. You need to reciprocate because there are a few clearer signs and she can provide. So it's true. If you're out with someone or she leans over and it's like, oh honey, how you're so funny or whatever and she touches you, that's usually a side that someone's interested. Oh yeah, absolutely. And you should take advantage of it. Don't like grab onto her or anything.

Yeah, but notice that go, oh, there's a, do a soft touchback maybe? Yeah, soft touchback, they'll touch that can forth. There we say in a first date, you can tell someone's interested if they touch you or they lean over or they. Exactly, even just like, if you're standing next to someone and you're shifting your weights or your shoulders

are touching, that is a crazy sensation for me. Like at a concert or something, and it's totally a signal, and then they'll... I don't know. I mean, I guess I'm... It can be like electric. You have electric energy. When you touch someone, I love it. Okay. I'm excited.

This is fun. Okay, she makes eye contact. Eye contact is a sign of confidence and trust. She's stating that she's not interested in the games and her intentions are straightforward. The duration of the eye contact is proportional to her level of interest. So if someone really stares you in your eyes, it means she's interested in you.

You guys need to log on to send it up on right now. I am glad you're here. And check out the video because Emily is sending you signals. I am flirting with every single listener right now. You can watch the show and you can listen to the show. It's fun to watch. This is fun to watch, right?

Because I'm looking at you in the eye. Eye contact is big. It's huge. It's like a big factor when you're approaching someone, too. Exactly. It shows confidence. Exactly. And guys who look away that they're talking to you,

but they're like always looking down or whatever. They're like, you're confident. Yeah, or your breasts. Yeah, hot. OK. She enters your personal space. When a woman enters a space, say, brushing past you with a glass and a smile, she's inviting a response.

And this is her sign. She's flirting. The character of her invasion will give you cues as how you should respond. So she enters your space. It's tricky. Yeah. It could be an accident.

It could be an accident she's entering your space. OK, she approaches you to talk. Her approach may be closely tied to number two, but this cue takes a step further. Cutting through the any game, she may be planning her approach and specific engagement by speaking is planning her strongest flirting hard. It allows her while speaking to you

to main eye contact, play with her hair, lightly touch you, and mimic your mannerisms along with other floating techniques. If she comes over to talk to you, she wants to know what you're all about. It's the first step in an interview process called dating. So these are all the steps that you can look at to know if she's flirting with you. Because men are not so great at knowing that.

Yeah, you know, it might not even lead to dating though. Might just be another one of your many tries. And like the one thing that we talk about later is walking away at the right moment, on a high note, and not maybe not even asking for the date. Exactly, don't even ask for the date. But again, and this a lot of this is practice. You might not find someone the first time you go out,

but it's like practicing and knowing and paying attention because I know there's a ton of guy friends who tell me, I never know if a girl's interested in me. I never know. And so this is how you know. Okay. She makes it obvious. So let's talk about the approach.

These are tips for approaching a woman. Have a plant and don't hesitate. If you don't feel confident, fake it. This is where you have to fake it till you make it. Think about like channel confidence in your body. Like think about the times when you feel the most confident. Maybe it's when you're at work giving a speech or maybe it's when you're on the basketball court

or maybe it's, you know, I don't know, when you're with your family, you feel super confident and super, you feel like yourself. So you need to take this confidence and transfer it into dating and to meeting women because people always say that confidence is the number one attractive thing they find in men and women.

So have a plan. Don't hesitate. If you don't feel confident and fake it, expect rejection and do not take it personally. Approaching a woman takes practice and practice makes perfect. The more you approach the greater your chances of approval will be. It's just like anything you're learning in your life, anything at all, you will be rejected but you will get better at it. And you'll learn what works.

There's new answers. You're like, okay, that didn't work when I grabbed her boob. Not saying you're going to. But it did work when I walked in the room and I was like, hey, hey, here I am. And you just embody your body. Like you are yourself and you're there and your eyes are straight ahead. You're not looking down and you're not shoving your feet and your hands aren't in your pocket. You're the confident guy at the bar.

That's attractive, or at the room, or at the laundromat, or wherever you are. Okay, gauge her body language. Don't approach a woman with her back to you, or that is glance that you in turn to way. So if she looked at you in turn to way, in a way that felt like she was annoyed, but don't do it.

But if she did it in like a flirty way, like she did a long lingering glance, then you could approach her. Yeah, like she was annoyed, but don't do it. But if she didn't like a flirty way, like she did a long lingering glance, then you could approach her. Yeah, like that smile. Look for the smile. That's the invitation. Exactly. Create opportunity through flirting.

Make eye contact and smile. When you're nervous, you may forget to keep a positive expression on your face. That's so true. Like, smiling is so confident. When it comes to smile. I just like smiles at me or like is just like, yeah. That's the the number one way to fake it if you just remember to like smile and breathe It's she doesn't know that you're nervous exactly. Maybe if you are she's like, oh wow

He's nervous. He's smiling and he approached me. She'll like give you slack Exactly. You know she told me well and you know, okay Only ask her out if the conversation leads that way leave the conversation at a high point Don't wait till it leads downhill. And finally, keep the conversation light. Avoid touchy subjects like politics or religion. I think that's smart. And the first time you're talking to someone

about be like, so who'd you vote for? What do you think about Obama? I wouldn't see you work for the government or something. I don't think it should be topic at all. Okay, here are some conversation starters to help you approach women. Book store a coffee shop.

Ask about the book she's reading. I've had a guy do that. He's like, oh, do you like that book? And it seems very innocent. Like, we're at a book shop. Like, maybe he is flirting with me. But it's like, if it's something you're excited about, he's like, oh my god, yeah, I love that book.

Supermarket. Do you know how to pick the perfect comquat? Oh, I don't know about that one. I would laugh. I would laugh. But it would be funny. Like if someone's like, ah, these are, you can be like, those oranges don't look great, do they? Or like apples aren't even in season. I mean, it just doesn't have to be, I'm not going to give you any pickup lines today because I don't believe they work. It's not like you could be like, say,

a funny pickup line. There's not like the perfect, perfect blind, but they're just talking to them. Okay, bar lounge, I like this place. Have you been here before? That's the whole like, have you been here before? If you can't come up with something better, then that's what you're going to say. Right. But you're like, this is fun. But what I'm saying is, it's all about, again, it's about being confident, just like looking at someone being like, this is, you have any good time, it's a good time here.

Are you just start, people are at a bar to have fun, people are at a a bar they're drinking and they're having a good time and they want to talk to people That's why dudes and women go to bars. Yeah, mostly right? It isn't as you go with your girlfriends because you just want to catch up one-on-one and then the guys approach you and you're like I'm sorry. We're doing a girl thing here But mostly people are a bars or they're out and about because they want to meet someone and so and they're happy that you approach them first Please exactly exactly we like that So she gets different to go or mend on approach. It's just town men do not approach women ever.

They're like, let's be friends or let's hang out. And oh, that's all meet up with my 18 friends tomorrow night, but they don't ask you and dates. That's another issue. Okay, here's how you should not approach a woman. Approach mistake number one, trying to be friends first with women. You could be friends and you could work together or whatever, it's okay, but don't just

be like, I'm the one who's here for you and all the emotional stuff because you want to avoid falling into the friend zone and being the nice guy. Lot of guys make this mistake, they become your best friend, they become your confidant, you never make it known that you even are like her or your interest in her, so she assumes you don't like her and then she does make you her friend and you're in the friend zone. And it's very hard for a guy to get out of the friend zone. So I would not try to be friends first.

The only benefit of the friend zone is to maybe meet her friends. That's what I'm saying. Like if you're going to be that guy, like you guys don't have the chemistry and you end up being friends. Exactly. It could be a ticket somewhere else. She might not be interested in you, but exactly. So you should never just diss her like she could I mean a lot of people

I think I mean one of the top ways people meet people besides online dating is through mutual friends Yeah, I've met a ton of guys I've dated because I was at a party and their friends of friends were there Okay, number two approach mistake number two trying to cope with the perfect pickup line or some other clever and impressive way to get Interested in you don't do that. No don't do the pickup line Just don't just be yourself like if you're standing in museum you could be like, wow, that painting is an amazing painting. It sounds stupid but that's what you can do and that's just like talk people. Everyone wants talk. Everyone wants to have a connection with someone. Yeah, or even just imagine what would you want her to say to you.

Like, you're not going to expect her to give you some pickup line. Exactly. Right. Approach mistake number three, not having some techniques and tools, a utility belt to help you. You should have a plan going into it, or your tongue might get tied. So think about what you're going to say beforehand, but you don't need too much of a plan or a perfect, or like a pickup line.

But just know, like, I've got this confidence I'm going to go in there, I'm just going to be like, what, you know, enjoying the weekend? How do you like this show? It's kind of loud and air isn't I mean whatever it is just and there's also a rule they say with all the pick-up artists and whatever that you shouldn't there's like the 30-second rule or something if you walk into a bar or I always say bar but if you walk into anywhere I wonder Matt I don't care and you see someone that you find attractive you should approach them right away

because then you see sort of like you're, you made out of contact and then you didn't and then you went away and then you just seem less confident. But if you see someone that you're attracted, like just go up and be like, hey, what's up? Like it's kind of like, it's just, I think it just shows more confidence. Yeah, absolutely. And then I'm sure people in the room are going to notice that too. Exactly.

Okay. Not approach, we say number four, not qualifying the woman. Qualifying is the process of figuring out if a woman meets your criteria of requirements, which is something that most guys do not do. So meaning that you might not even be interested in her, but you're talking her. Yeah, what is that? I guess it's like, yeah. Like, why?

If you're a nice guy, maybe if you're a nice guy, it's okay. But why go up to a girl you're not interested in? Exactly. If you're not interested, I mean, to practice, I have no problem with you practicing and just talking to a woman that you're not interested in, but if you're really interested,

I just think this leads down the wrong. I mean, people think they're interested in people, but it's like not for the right reasons always. Right, right. Okay, approach was like number five, not having an exit strategy. When you meet a woman, you need a good plan to get that conversation,

to get into a conversation first, but you also need a good plan for leaving when things are at a high point. So you should always leave when things are going well. And be like, hey, this was so great talking to you. Let me get your number and then you leave. Right. Bonus approach mistake number six,

asking a woman out too soon. I don't know. You really shouldn't ask a woman out the first time you meet her. I'm not out too soon. I don't know. You really shouldn't ask woman out the first time you meet her. I'm not sure about that. I don't know about it. I think that you could, you could be like, we should do this again sometime. You don't have to be like, hey, next weekend there's a specific thing I want to do, but I'd love to see you again.

Hopefully we'll see each other again soon. And these days with face, fake, and social networking, there's so easy to find people that it's like, you know what I think is a really good thing to do is like if you go somewhere frequently or if you are like, hey, I'm going to this next weekend, I'll let you know what I mean. You know what I mean? You just mentioned that you're in a place and maybe you're going to another concert,

like bring it up so that you can run into each other and run there, but you don't have to go together. Exactly, that's good. Okay, making her feel comfortable around you, this is the last thing I have to say. There are particular motions and gestures you can use to make her feel comfortable and improve your chance with your lady.

If done with a sense of class and timing, for example, when you're walking through a crowd, say at a bar or concert, shield her with your arm and around her shoulder, at least a hand on her back. So be the man, I love that too. When a man's like, I've got you, I've got you, we're going, we're moving.

You're in my orbit. Be polite, but don't soften your demeanor. And it's not to offend or bother her with your masculine presence. She's actually track its immense. You have nothing to worry about here. So be polite, but don't be soft. Yeah, don't be the soft guy. Just be yourself.

Exactly. Play it cool, literally. Don't make sudden grandiose gestures. Change the tone or volume of your voice abruptly and or let your mood swing Rappily from one place to another. Oh the big old animated guy that you didn't know he was gonna be animated Exactly. He's a the center of the bar. He's like blah blah blah blah. He's trying to hard. He's like insecure. Exactly You shouldn't keep my intention that way. Oh, always take the opportunity to be chivalrous opening doors and pulling out chairs Go a long way. I totally create guys don't do this anymore

But no if I does open the door walks around to my side of the car like Comes to my door to pick me up like I think those things mean a lot They stand out. They totally stand up because no one doesn't know what else gonna do it That's gonna be shy guy. That's your strength exactly. You know what I mean exactly Don't be a yes, man If you talk so how much she loves disco and strawberry daqueries You do not have that in common with her. Just don't say you do just to gain approval.

In fact, saying that you like that stuff is more likely to back further than to help your attraction. Go ahead and tell you before Guinness and ACDC. Stay true to your personality, enter your opinions, and speak your mind all in a civilized manner, of course. I have to say when I was thinking about the show and I was like, who's been the most, why have I dated the men I've dated? What do they do that was so you know that was that was so

Alluring to me and I think it's just the guys who are confidence. They say their opinion They they own they own their space. They own their room and they're comfortable And they're not pandering to me. They're not kissing my ass. They're not looking at me and not saying anything We're snapping at the waitress. They're snapping at the waitress. Yes The man steps the waitress. Don't be mean to anyone around you and don't criticize people. Don't just sit around and be caddy and be like, what about that?

Check over there. That stuff does not work at all. So just be yourself. Think about, I always, one last and one final thing is that if you don't know who this person, you're reading this, you're like, yeah, but I don't really get it. Think of how you are when you're hanging out

with your best guy friends, okay? Not like when you're at the porn clubs or the strip clubs, but when you're like hanging out with your guy friends and you're home and you're whatever you do with your friends, that's probably when you're the most confident. Think about what that feeling is, what that feels like to be confident in your own body and then translate that into when you move out into the world. Can I share our listeners to? Yes.

Damien on Facebook says the usually, the first thing I usually say is that I'm Facebook friends with Emily Morse They seem to like that Oh, that's sweetie. That's sweet. Yes, you can drop my name anytime That's really sweet. I think Emily friends with Emily love it. Okay, everyone That's what we got for you today. Thanks so much for listening. I appreciate it Thanks for listening to sex with Emily and remember remember, we go like me on Facebook, go like my Sex with Emily page, because I promise you we are giving away every single day

a free three month membership to Sex with Emily. So you can get five to four shows a week and all the benefits of being a friend's benefits member. So do that. Thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemle.com. Thanks everyone for listening, was it good for you?

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