Sex With Emily - From Boregasms to Orgasms

Episode Date: October 17, 2019

On today’s show, Emily is talking about ways to make the most out of all your sexual experiences — from penetration, oral, & everything in between!Emily chats about the orgasm gap with friend & CEO of Promescent, what to do if your partner starts to get a little too aggressive about having sex, & where to turn when you’re completely bored by all things sex. Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemilyFor even more sex talk, tips, & tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex of the Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and on today's show, I'm talking about ways to make the most out of all your sexual experiences from penetration, oral, and everything in between. Taboxin clue. A chat with friend and CEO of promising about the orgasm gap and how long it takes for me to climax versus women. What to do if your partner starts to get a little too aggressive about having sex when you aren't in the mood? How to make sex more pleasurable for your wife who is constantly cramping during sex. And where to turn when you're completely bored by sex with partners with toys, even with yourself. Trust me, I will get you out of this rut. All this and more, thanks for listening.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them a lie going to hate. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. It's a lie.

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I want to feel so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, You can also find us, you guys wherever you're listening to podcasts, you can find us there. I love when you review us.

You give us five stars. Subscribe. It really helps us. Also, find me on Series XM Radio five nights a week on Channel 109. I'm there Monday through Friday, 5 to 7 PM Pacific 8 to 10 East. If you want to get a 30 day trial for free, go to sexwithendlee.com slash SXM. You can still call in, even if you don't have a subscription, triple 8, 9, 4, 7, 8, 2, 7, 7. If I made all the social media across the board, it's at Sex with Emily. Alright guys, I have an exciting announcement.

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So check it out. Okay guys, I hope you enjoyed the show. Jeff Abraham, he's a dear friend. He's also the CEO of Permanent. And he's here to talk about, I kept saying Jeff, you're here to talk about all things penis, but also sexual timing. And his Facebook Instagram is all at a promessant

and the website's promessant.com. He's essentially used a CEO of a company called Promessant. He's an over-the-counter topical penis spray essentially used to improve climax control and help people last longer and better. And I've known Jeff for years since the start of promessant and we love having you on. I love being here. Because we just never have a dull moment.

There's always a talk about when it comes to a penises and what's going on. So I think I just explained it to people don't know about promessant. Men want to last longer and bad sometimes. It's the number one sexual health issue for men and women obviously because of an issue for a man, it becomes an issue for men and women obviously because if it's an issue for a man it becomes an issue for his partner. So it's a real thing and and then you you know you created the spray that could help him last you know a lot longer. Well I didn't 64% Dr. Gilbert. I don't want anyone to think that I'm

just right. I know you didn't. Right. No I got it. That you took it to market and made it all happen. Yes. So how have you been doing Jeff since I saw you last? I've been doing good. Yeah. Busy, very, very busy. But that beats the alternative having nothing to do. Yeah, that's true. That's people like us will never have not have anything to do. I thought what might be interesting for us to talk about is just lasting longer in general

in bed. Because like, okay, so I've been talking about promising for years because we just, I mean, it makes sense. But, you know, if you want to just like, there's a lot of other things you do like we talk about edging, the stop start method is one of them where you kind of masturbate until the point where you're about to like go over and then you stop. And then like, what are some of the focusing on your partner, like enhancing intimacy? Because even if you're using promising, I feel like we're so focused on penetration where I kinda like about permessence.

I have to tell you think about this. We could talk about permessence just like a four-play tool that you just use. Like I love talking about like CBD loops that people just rub into their wall of a before sex for like 20 minutes and you're like your vagina won't be anxious and it can help with your orgasms.

But with permessent, even if you're like, sometimes I last long, I don't know, it's not just the experience of them putting on their penis, you have to let it absorb. You wait eight to 10 minutes. Eight to 10 minutes. But what if you said, what if you waited 20? And you're like, I'm gonna just rub it in so I know it's there.

Like everyone waits 20. I'm waiting for my Loub, you're waiting for a restant, and then we cannot go right to penetration because I feel like Everybody goes right for for penetration sometimes and we need to slow it all down I think too many people put the idea of orgasm and penetration in the same category What would be wrong with having your partner achieve an orgasm or two or even three prior to insertion prior to intercourse? And I think people are so focused, and I think part of it is they're so

indjudging themselves based on porn, they watch or anything else, their expectations are unrealistic. That I have people, I swear to you, because I work our interactive chat features called Olock on our site. It's me on there two hours a week. They go, what are you doing?

I go, I need to understand who's buying a product where they come from, and by the way, a lot of them go sex with Emily. That's what I heard about it, which is great. I love it. But I have people that go, I'm not kidding, they go, how long can I expect to last? And the first thing I always ask is how long

are you lasting right now? Because it's a function of how long you last prior. And I have people say to me, I'm lasting 20 to 30 minutes. And I'm like, why are you buying pro-mess? And they go, I want to last an hour. I I'm like are you trying to pleasure or punish your partner? I'm like I'm kind of confused. You become a sex that you put your sex therapist at. Yeah, exactly. I've literally Talked to people on the site and talk them out of buying the product. I go you're there's something you're doing wrong If your partner is not climaxing in 30 minutes of penetration and thrusting you need to either work on your technique or your partner needs to go to the gynecologist. Maybe there's an issue because

this isn't about, you know, and setting an Olympic record for time. It's about pleasure. It's about mutual satisfaction between, you know, a male and a female or two males or whatever, you know, it's one of those things that people put sex almost into Olympic category now, like it's an event. Right. It's supposed to be mutual shared pleasure. It's supposed to be being in tune with your partner. Don't rush into it. Oh my God, you've got to have this at this time.

Like you said, take your time. Take your time. Yeah. Like relax into it. Like do the making out. Do the kissing because the orgasm gap, which is we've been talking about since the beginning, Jeff, a promise, and we've been talking about it.

Seven, eight years now. Seven, eight years. It's amazing. I was like, there's something that could actually help men with last longer, like, because I try, I mean, I didn't have a penis, but I had to give it to the penis as I know, because I was like, this sound, and then it's amazing.

I've just talked about all the technologies now, there are for penises and vaginas out there, and this is one of the first that was like so exciting to me that you could actually Help man last longer, but there still is the orgasm gap. Yes, and that is real like that is real for most You know, you know had our sexual couples but really any couples and that that the orgasm gap they say typically You can take a man. What is it like five to the average is like eight thirty minutes or eight to ten? It's actually the actual man We're not talking about people with PE, the actual average healthy male lasts five minutes and 42 seconds of penetration and thrusting.

The average female takes 18 minutes of penetration and thrusting to achieve climax. Those are unhealthy couples. So that's the arousal gap or the orgasm gap. So even in healthy couples, if you just jump right into it, you're not gonna have mutual satisfaction. And that's why guys think about baseball scores, think about stopping, starting, think about their grandmother naked, think about all these coping mechanisms. It isn't sex in intimacy supposed to be about unbridled pleasure.

Yes. You know, letting yourself go and really enjoying yourself and being into your partner as opposed to having this little guy on your shoulder walking on eggshells, not yet, not yet. Oh my god. I got to go my aunt. My... You don't want to be so hyper focused. Like, you're not even enjoying yourself. You're trying to take your mind away from the pleasure rather than feeling the pleasure. Right. Exactly. You want to be in the moment with your partner and let it let it last. It's true that it has kind of become this Olympic performance based on porn,

which is what we're just talking about, before you came in about how we're just, that's how people are learning their thinking like, oh, longer is better and more positions is better and like, you're not, I wish there could just be, I don't know, if we're sharing the time and money, like, you just make a porn that was like, real? Like intimacy, like, couples just staring to each other's eyes and see like, you never see that. How is it like a four-play channel? Like a four, like, people are researching four-play,

like I'm porn hub, you know what I'm saying? I mean, someone, I don't know. Someone somewhere, it might be, I think. I think you'd have to dig deep into the porn hub archives to find the, you know, the four-play. Sensual soft sex. Yeah. That's a, with a plot.

There's a one video. That's where we like, Erica lust. That's where we like, Erica lust, though. Exactly, there's one. There is a female porn. Erica lust how we like Erica lust. That's how we like Erica lust though. Exactly, there's one. There is a female porn. Erica lust. Is that what it's called? I love her.

I love that. I saw that. Oh, she's amazing. She's got my show a lot. She's a director. I was going to direct a film with her. Perhaps if I go to Barcelona. We were going to have our listeners

submit their erotic, their porn stories. Like what they dream about with their fantasy down, then we were going to make a porn. It could still happen if I get to bar, which I might get to Barcelona next year and do it. porn stories, like what they dream about with their fantasy down, then we were gonna make a porn. It could still happen if I get to part, which I might get to Barcelona next year and do it. But her names are a colust. And it's, if you are listening right now and you have not been satisfied with the porn

you watch, if you check out her site, it really is. It's like four women buy women because most porn now we know is by the male gaze, which to be honest, Jeff, I mean, as a businessman, it's good for your company, but, but also in porn, like what we're seeing, it isn't like real depictions of sex. So yeah, they are lasting longer. That would be good for business actually, because they're like, I'm not that, porn been great, because they're like, I'm that lasting an hour and a half,

and Jeff's like, whoa, whoa, no one wants you less an hour. But what you were saying though, it's so true that there is this notion, maybe it's a lot of younger men, that they still believe that sex, that it's measured upon how long they last and they're thinking that before they even don't they don't even know about the pleasure part like no actually if you do a lot of the work beforehand on your partner go down in her, give her orgasms, that's the stuff to focus on. That's what you really need to focus on. You want to hear something that shows you how warned people's perception on.

Yes. You know, we're the number one best selling sexual enhancement product on Amazon. The number five product in sexual enhancements, I swear I wish I was making this up. It's some kind of supplement that supposedly increases the amount of semen that you would ejaculate. Really? I'm like, what kind of a dude is going,

hey, what's my volume like? I'm like, I want to get pregnant maybe? Oh, no, no, no. Oh, just the guy's worried about volume. No, no, no. That's a real thing. No, I thought you had the sexual semen, no, you guys want, like, they, because it's porn. It's porn, it's the, it's the spooge porn.

That's, that's, that's, it guys going, if I can't hit my partner in the eye from 12 feet away. Seriously? I'm, I'm deficient. You know what I mean? I'm like, what, I go, where am I? What kind of a cause me, hellhole,hole? I followed into where that has become an expectation and someone's gonna buy a product to go, yeah, I'm measuring my

distance. So I'm like, oh my god, I'm like, people do do that. They do met all the time. And I've heard them say that, yeah, like that and something's wrong with the can't shoot across it. But it's for men because they want to see it to them. Like, you think their partner's going, your ejaculate was low this week. I mean, yeah, I'm just, I've just never really felt that that was an issue to kind of be a little self-conscious about.

I was like, what? But it's consistently, because I always go through the rankings. I want to see who's behind us, you know? Yeah. Fortunately, we're not behind anyone. I love that you're number one now. And you know, you've been through a lot.

I mean, I don't know what, you know, if you want to talk about what's been going on or it's, you know, it's one of these things that you have to address things. And there was a podcast that came on American greed. Yeah. A big podcast on this lawsuit that we're involved in. Yeah. It's going to go to trial next year. And you know, you and I have talked about it in length. And it's frustrating because in a lot of cases when you're an entrepreneur and you have a small company that's dynamic, especially in a very large market segment, which we are, you're going to have big companies that try to take advantage of. And we've had that happen. And we're moving steadily ahead in the litigation. We're very pleased with where we're at. That being said, the company that we're in litigation with is $20 billion a year, and they're doing everything possible to delay it and run up the cost.

That's the playbook that big companies use, but I have very good representation, and we've been very thorough and very diligent, and as soon as I sensed what was happening, I obviously took very copious notes, and I had everything documented, and it happened. And there's no doubt about it. And one of the frustrating things is if you're me

and you're sitting here and you watch, they're being represented by this big firm shepherd, Moe and Hampton and Richter, is you watch how they operate and you can see what they're covering up and you can see what they're trying to exclude. And it's gross. They know exactly what happened.

They know how guilty they're climbing. Well, let me just back everyone up. I mean, I couldn't tell like because Jeff was on podcast. He's been talking about this. But when I'm saying, as an entrepreneur, you, your friend who, Ron, if you want to, Dr. Gilbert, Dr. Gilbert, and he was killed. Yeah. He made, he's the one who created a promising as a urologist. He was like, wow, I invented this thing that is going to save help man and have better sex, which is really, and you know, amazing story that he invented invented and then he was mistakenly killed. He was killed mistaken identity. Mistaken identity.

And then Jeff has been a champion of this brand since, you know, it was his best friend. Yes. It's an exemption. So when I met Jeff, he was just like, he was just a few years after. You know, I'm going to take it. It was literally months after. Months after. Wow, Jeff. Wow. And it's been almost seven years now. So that shows how long we've been doing this together. So he, so, and the whole thing was like, and you're like, I know this is working because I've taken around, I want to help him, but then he, you know, he died and you're like, I'm going to help his family. So for you, this has been like, and the thing about promising is that the fact that it's really, there was nothing else like it. There is nothing really.

Still, there's nothing else like it. There's nothing else like it. And then the one of the biggest pharmaceutical companies, like, you're the little man, like, really tried to buy you. I remember the whole thing and now they're like, they stole your formula. So I'm glad that you're going after them, that you're sticking to this and that you've been getting a lot of press and attention around it. So we all wish you, you know, so much luck here

and whatever we can do to help support that. Cause it fucking sucks. It reminded the sound, this is not even equivalent, but I, well, it doesn't even matter. The story of someone stealing your shit. What kind of is, but like, okay, so it is just weird, because I'm not serious now. But I remember when I started my show like 14 years ago, I was talking to someone who actually was a producer

for radio, and I think he was working at Syri if he's a family friend, and he's like, well, I think I just want to start doing a podcast, but I would love to do radio. And I think maybe I'd already been on the radio with Poinies. He goes, well, Emily, like you just be careful, because how do you know that someday someone just couldn't be sex with Susan? And I was like, well, and I said, this was when I first started,

I said, well, there could be a sex with Susan, but she wouldn't be sex with Emily. No, she wouldn't do it. She'd be Susan, and I was Susan talks about sex. And I'm not gonna talk about Emily about sex, which is kind of the same but different. No one ever did that. And I asked you knew my head that no one could be me

because I've talked about me, but you're freaking formula, they fucking stole it. Yeah. But they still can't be you and I've talked about me, but you're freaking formula. They fucking stole it. Yeah. But they still can't be you and they can't have the integrity that you have. They can't. And they were so careful trying to design around it because when you are knowingly ripping someone off, you try to cover your tracks. And they were so careful in trying not to violate the actual formulation that they came up

with the inferior product, which is hilarious. Which is great. So I won't even mind. But they took all of our trade secrets and data, and then literally, torsiously and our fear tried to get us, crushed in some of the venues we were in. But the funny part is, here's this billion dollar company trying to crush us, and we're still number one.

We still have the number one best ranking, and we still dominate any platform that we're head to head with these guys. And I take a tremendous amount of pride in that. Yeah, you sure? Well, you've been working really hard for it. So and as you should and we support you. Yes.

Okay, Jeff. So that was just the, I haven't seen them. So you guys can call us even count off. We actually have a George 46 and Ohio who wants to ask Jeff about Vitaflux. Okay. Fire away. George, you said George. Yes.

Okay, George,. You said George. Yes. Okay, George go ahead. George we're having phone. George. Oh, we'll start your George. Oh, there we go George call back George if you can he started to say He learned about promising through. He started asking about Vita flux, which is a new product. We have any said he found I asked him about Vitaflux, which is a new product we have. And he said, he found ProMesson, I guess, through you. Uh-huh. I think that's what I caught before he did. Yeah, that's what he caught.

I was trying to look up Vitaflux, I don't know. What's Vitaflux? You're going to laugh, I tell you, there's a new product we have that's for conspect accurate, it's a mini-proMesson. And it doesn't treat PE, but it was developed at Baylor University by some of the leading sex therapist there. It's an endothelium agent, which increases nitric oxide. What it does is give you a much higher libido.

It helps circulation, so it helps with better erections. It helps with energy level. How do you digest it? How do you taste it? It's just same thing. It's a bunch of alchornicene. It's a bunch of amino acids. It's high quality, and it is spectacular.

It was developed at Baylor University and one of the leading sex researchers in the business said to me, you gotta try this product. It said, okay, great, he gives it to me. I'm like, what is this? I'm like, I felt so much energy. It gave me mental alertness and it gave me a lot.

My libido increased and I'm like, wow, my age 60, I thought it was a nice little bonus. And they developed it for sexual function. But the crazy part was, because of the endothelium aspect, the nitric oxide aspect, it regulates, stabilizes blood pressure. So it blew up and took off in the blood pressure area.

So they weren't really marketing it in sexual wellness. So I said, you mind if we take it in that area? So they said, sure. And it went insane. We're selling, I mean, it's crazy. We have people come on every three months or three bottles of warmest and three bottles of bite of luck. I don't even know this job.

Yeah, it's for men. Relatively new. It actually worked for women too. I just think libido is just a mind thing. Like it's for your mind, if you're on board with sex, your brain. The endothelium layer though, is where protects and allows.

I don't know why endothelium. Yeah, it allows a lot of your hormones. It allows the nutrients to get to your hormones. It raises your hormone level. So that's why the libido goes up. I literally started giving it to my friends around where I live. I go try this.

I go because I was thinking to myself, this has to be a placebo effect. Every single person I gave it to my friends around where I live. I go, try this. I go, because I was thinking to myself, this has to be a placebo effect. Every single person I gave it to goes, I, what is that? I love that product. I go, it's a, it was developed by a leading sexual researcher at Baylor University. Hmm.

Okay, that's amazing. It's called Vita Flux. I thought, this guy tried it or is thinking about trying it. Yeah, yeah. Okay. George from Ohio. George from Ohio. Yeah. Ohio. Thanks, George. Yeah.

We're going to fun. But the good thing is that Jeff, we always have stuff to talk about, even if we don't have fun. So what I was thinking though, so I'm breaking this down. We're talking about I'm talking to Jeff. He's a CEO, per messant, and climax control spray. And now other things like Vita Flux did now. What about couples who are trying to figure out this just comes up all the time, like, when should they have sex?

So, for example, your partner, like, you have a kid's, right? You really create a car, you make time for it. I think that couples really struggle with this. Or, for example, your partner always wants in the morning, and you always want sex in the evening. And it just can just seem kind of silly, but really, people don't really have these conversations with their partners. They just realize they're not having sex.

So I just realized this could be a cure for it, just talk about it and then even like scheduling sex. You know what I was gonna say? If you have children or you both have busy careers, you literally need to schedule it. You have to. Because if you just wait for it to be spontaneous, you're gonna go weeks at a time without intimacy.

Never gonna happen. And you know, I guess I'm just different because I major in communications and I've always been talking to you. Yeah. Any relationship I've And you know, I guess I'm just different because I major in communications and I've always been talking to like you. Any relationship I've ever been in, you discuss it. When people say to me, you know, we haven't had sex in a month and I go, well, have you guys talked about it?

No. I go, how do you lay next to someone every night for a month and not be intimate and not discuss it? I don't understand either. I think the ultimate for-play is communication. Yeah, it's so hot. The words exactly. Talk about sex. Talk about what you wanted to get excited for it. I don't understand either. I think the ultimate for-play is communication. Yeah, it's so hot the words exactly Talk about sex talk about what you wanted to get excited for it Yeah, and the idea that your partner's like we need to schedule this makes you feel wanted makes you feel desired and vice versa

I mean, how do you feel laying next to someone for a month and they don't touch you and you don't even talk about it You talk about the elephant in a room. How do you deal with that exactly? I it is the elephant in the room and How do you deal with that? Exactly. It is the elephant in the room. And it is crazy because it goes back to that we think that sex should magically always work out without trying that it's a mystical act that we do. That's just kind of been placed here by the universe. And we don't really know how it works.

Kind of like air or gravity or like sex should just happen. And we think talking about it is wrong. It's like somehow, and if we schedule it, that is not sex. That's not, that's not, that's not having sex. Well, think about this. You know, a lot of it actually funnels from the whole religious thing about how there's so much teen pregnancy because a lot of young people think, well, if I acknowledge it and go by contraceptive, that means I'm planning on having sex. But if it's spontaneous, that means I didn't expect it to happen. Wait a second. You're not being responsible, protecting yourself from potential diseases. You're not being responsible, responsible, protecting yourself from unwanted pregnancies by hoping that it

becomes spontaneous. So you don't, you know, displease your church by thinking you, you know, consciously had an effort to have it's a desire It's a physical desire like eating or sleep everything else So be open about it And you know just like you said people just want it to be spontaneous What other part of your life when you invest do you just throw Darts at a dart board and buy a company you have an invest it? No, you research and you go I want to do this this right. The more information I have, the better.

And you talk to people, hey, what do you think about this company? What do you think about this stock? When you go to work out, you ask other people, what's the best gym? Why do you like the, you know, why can't you do that with sex? I know, really. Well, people are just starting, I think we're still like this new frontier with sex. We're still like, we're still the front lines in the sense.

What we're doing sexually, like people are still like, oh, every night, I was saying like, oh, I didn't know that I could even talk about it. Like we still feel like we don't have permission but you have to understand that everything in life that is worth having, the things that we care about, the things that we're good at, that we put effort into, the rewards come back to us, the things that you care about,

we don't think that we should invest time, money, energy, speaking, anything into sex. Shows like this are so important because when I think it does it normalizes talk about sex. It allows people to go, it's okay for me. Other people have the same fantasies, the same desires I do. I'm not dirty if I desire sex. I'm not dirty if I go, wow, I want to be a little out of the box.

If it's between you and your partner and you both desire, but how do you going to know what you both desire if you don't talk about it? Exactly. Just know that after six months to two years, 18 months, but how do you get to know what you both desire if you don't talk about it? Exactly. Just know that after six months to two years, 18 months, the honeymoon phase is going to die and you're not going to have to start docking. So just start talking at the beginning. At the beginning. And then that honeymoon phase will last a lot longer.

Exactly. The reason why the honeymoon phase lasts is because it's new and it's novel and spontaneous. It's like someone new. And there's other things, there's traction and chemistry. But that could happen with a lot of people that honeymoon phase Which is why so many relationships don't work because we kind of like ride the wave of the honeymoon for a year and a half And they think that's gonna be that way forever But it's not but every night someone wakes up or calls in they're like oh, guess what?

It was great at the beginning, but now it's not I'm like yeah, that's what happens That's a relationship by that's a relationship So talk about all the stuff at the beginning. And if you don't know, then say, I'm not sure, but I've been listening to this show, this chick name Emily, Dr. Emily, she told me that I should talk about it. I don't even know what to say, but clearly we should talk about it,

and we never talk about it. Like that's such a great way to say it too, if people are so afraid to talk about it. And I say it's like ripping a bandaid off. Like I think a lot of what we talk about here is really just giving people scripts, and here's how you have the conversation. So even just saying, I don't know what to say. This feels weird, awkward and wrong to talk to you about sex, because we've never done it. But I feel like it's important. Let's do it together.

I've been in relationships before where I'll actually say to someone and they get really uncomfortable. I'd say I really like watching you touch yourself. You know what I'm like, yeah, they're like, why? and say, I really like watching you touch yourself. You know what I'm like, and I'm like, yeah, and they're like, why? I'm like, well, how better would I know what you like rather than you show me? And they'll go, oh no, I like everything you do, everything you do.

I'm like, okay, I'd like to think I'm the sex guy, but I'm pretty realistic, I'm not, okay? Quit being so uptight, and I'm like, show me what you, and they're like, they get all uptight. And it's like, you know, and- Wow, still today, women you're right. Yeah, no, it's crazy. It is crazy.

A lot of women still to this day think that if they really show that overt sexual side that you'll be intimidated or you'll think, whoa, you know what I mean? Like, you know, because I would hate to be a woman in today's society for this reason. If you're not sexual enough, a guy's gonna go, well, you're boring.

But if you're too sexual, a guy's gonna go, hey, where'd you learn that? You know what I mean? Like, whoa, whoa, you're a little bit edgy. So it's hard to be a woman and really exert your sexuality because a lot of men would be intimidated. They would go, do you think they still would be though? Is that just the old messages that if women really started saying, this is what I want and this is what I need?

There's a certain amount of men out there, maybe 20, 25% that would run with it and be totally turned on. We want more of them. We need 100%. We need every man to do that. But there's still men that want their woman to be desirable and sexual, but not too sexual. Right, not too loud.

I don't know where did you learn that one. Yeah, exactly. How many do you know? Yeah, because there's still, you know, we laugh about this all the time. There's still so much insecurity in men. Yeah. There really and truly is.

And you see it when you work the chat feature on our site. Tell me, on the promesson site, tell me about the, what are the insecurities you're finding? Oh, I don't last long enough. I need to, will this help me grow my penis? I'm like, where on this site was it? Does it say grow? Does it say grow your penis? How great though Jeff if it did.

Damn it. Trust me if it did. The next formula. I'd be on my own private island next to Bali somewhere. I know. I would never see Jeff again. Yeah, exactly. I call it.

Yeah. Bring me another peanut collado. I'll be over here. But it's weird because on our site, you hear people go, well, I want wanna last an hour. I wanna make my penis bigger. I'm like, well, why don't you just focus on what you have and really get the best out of it?

Because every guy literally thinks they have to have a 10-inch penis. It's from watching porn. It's not all of this. They think that they gotta be able to hit a bullseye across the room on a dartboard. They think that they have to last an hour. It's insane.

It is insane. And the penis and skin are serious. I feel like we've done a lot in this show to kind of debunk the, or to kind of calm men's nerves about their penises because most of the, we're all fine with it. Like if you know what you're doing, you know how to please us,

and since only 20% of women can actually orgasm with your penis, we're not tripping on the size of your penis. That's why you don't be able to. We want to know about your skills. We want to know don't be like that. We wanna know about your skills, we wanna know what you're doing, we wanna know, we wanna know that you can please us, and you wanna pay attention.

But I think it's interesting going back to what you said about the women who you're with, or even recently, who are like, oh, everything you're doing feels good. I remember like, I used to be that way. I used to be the woman who was like, well, I also didn't know what I wanted before I started this show.

And I also was like, they'd be like, how does this feel? I'd be like, great. And like, how's this? And like, everything you're doing is perfect. But in my mind, I'm like, it's not, but then I was before I knew about my body and talking about sex.

I was like, well, if I tell them it's not good, I was the person who didn't know what else I really wanted, either. So there's so many layers to that. There's the women who are, no, but they feel like they're gonna feel study. There's me just saying like, oh, everything's great because I didn't know what was better. And so that's why, you know,

it's, we gotta continue to talk about everybody. And I love that you're out there and you have a son. And I'm sure he's talking in a healthy way. It is very open. Everybody needs to be listening to this kind of thing. So if you're listening now, we do this five minutes a week on series of XM five to seven pm Pacific eight to ten East and also a podcast you release three podcasts a week going back 15 years 14 years are not all available right now online, but they will be we should release them all as like a I think I think I think

Just like whoa, man, well, we can only put so many I know why still having on my hard drive like, do I want one from 2006 release? What was I saying? I've grown up on the show. But still, it hasn't been, you know, and even all these years, though, it's there's not that many other people talking about it in a healthy way, which is why it's really fun to care. You know, one of the things being a man that I can speak for all men out there, one of

the reasons women have to be vocal and they have to tell men what they like. Because you can have the same woman, you know, your basic penis is pretty indestructible and they all respond to the same things. You go oral sex, or that works. But there are women who look exactly like same body type, same everything, some of them are like, I want my clit rubbed a lot harder,

some of them are like, oh my God, I'm so sensitive, you can barely touch. So as a guy, you're like, I want my glit rubbed a lot harder. Some of them are like, oh my god, I'm so sensitive. You can barely touch. So as a guy, you're like, wait a second. Okay, it's like cracking is safe. Everyone has a different combination. You want to know, but... You want to know because the exact same thing that turns on one female

is totally non-pleasurable to another. Okay? Because they have hooded clotures. They have, you know what I mean? It's like, it's a total different animal each time and you have to kind of dial it in. Like I said, it's like cracking a safe. When you're a woman, when you're with a dude, okay,

I got a newspaper, you give him a blowjob, he's thrilled, okay? You have to say, it's like, there's not that much different. Not as much different. I mean, you could vary your blowjob a little bit, it's not like the freeing clip, someone don't even want their clitoris touched, right? And someone would be like, no, you get some sandpaper, grind them.

Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, you know, I'm like, so you have to know, you have to know. You have to know. And part of it is communication. You don't want to look up there. You're going down to someone and they got this horrified look on their face and they're like, oh, no, everything's fine. You're like, well, why are you having that panic attack? Exactly.

You know, it's important to communicate. And the, yeah, exactly. And that's why. And don't think your guy's going to go, oh my god, if I'm doing something that might not be right to you, he's going to freak. And the, yeah, exactly. And that's why. And don't think your guy's gonna go, oh my God, if I'm doing something that might not be right to you, that he's gonna freak out and go, oh my God, my technique is bad.

No, because maybe that's exactly what his last partner needed. That's what we often do, is that we often feel like, well, my last partner wanted this, so this is exactly what I should do with you. And we don't know the variation. So there's also the sex education part of it

that just like, we gotta talk about it. That's why I started out with, yeah, I wanna see you touch yourself. Oh, going back to that and she was like, oh. Oh, no, a couple times they're like, they start backing off the door. I'm like, wait, come back, I'm just kidding. Yeah, even though I'm not, you know.

But no, it's. It is hot. That's why I love mutual masturbation. I love recommending that to people and they're like, oh, really? A lot of dudes are like, no. Why, you don't want to be seeing, you wouldn't want someone to watch you, your partner.

I mean, if it's in the context of someone I really care for, it's like, okay, yeah, great. But I'm much more of a boy. You're, I'll do it, because I figured it's really unfair to ask someone else to do it and you not do it. But I'm like, hey, whatever you do works for me, I'm gonna do it. You know what I mean? Like, this is a little more complex over here.

So I need to go to school here for a little while, just to kind of see where. It's really hot, hey, whatever you do works for me, I'm a dude. You know what I mean? Like, this is a little more complex over here. So I need to go to school here for a little while, just to kind of see where. It's really hot too, right? To watch him and take a two-fer. You're learning and it's hot to see that your partner likes to give themselves pleasure. There's nothing. I've talked a lot of other guys.

I swear to God, there's nothing hotter for a guy than to watch a woman. That's why, if you watch porn, look how many women's masturbation scenes there are. That's very true. And if you ever see a guy one, I've never seen a guy masturbation scene. I don't want to inform it.

I actually think that that's hot. What, women masturbating? No, like just a guy, like a jerk off video. Yeah. If the penis is really pretty looking. Right. Because some people do have like a particularly pretty penis. Yeah, I would say.

Yeah, I think they all vary. That's true. Yeah. They don't show that a lot, huh? No, they don't, but- Not a lot, but you had to look it up. But how real are the women, I don't watch enough porn, any porn? Well, but how about we realistic as the masturbation? Well, because I was just gonna say for some women who are stuck and they don't know where

to start with masturbation, maybe you could get some tips. Yeah, I mean, so- Again, I'm saying porn's not real. Has there ever been a porn or without a woman's masturbation scene? Well, on porn hub, some scenes not as much. It's like it's fake. They're doing it so fast. They do it so fast.

Not only that, they're flopping around like a baby. I mean, I'm like, come on. I don't think it's real. But I think that that's like, OMG, yes, it's a great shit part. I feel like, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, they show just the end.

Just like the rightful porn. Yes, ding, ding, yes, that's what pisses me off. Just like the person who was doing anal and called in They're like why went from back to front because in porn they went from back to right? Oh my god. I mean dude in porn. They're not showing you the warm up the condoms elube the washing in between and they're not showing a woman They're only showing her at the end of mastermature that showing her Touching they never do dressing this pisses me off. It's always the end when she's grinding a million miles an hour And it's just the orgasm.

That's why guys go out when guys try to go after your, that's why they start, no, that's why they go, that's all they've ever seen. They think that's exactly what it happened. You start out a million miles an hour and then 12 seconds later you're supposed to climax. Yeah, that's why my number one sex advice

if people like I used to say this a thought of my number one thing, like Emily, if you had, go into your head, no more to have a mic, slow down. Like Emily if you had go into your head No more tape. I'm like slow down Like literally slow down go three times slower than you think like you think like if you're like oh But I already go so then go a little slower. I think that's gonna work for every sector that is great advice I'm guessing whether you're like undressing each other whether you're like everything like what is the god damn rush

Especially if you like a Zim gap anticipation is the best part of sex it. Anticipation is the best part of sex. It is. The build up is the best part. It is the best part. And I've always found for me personally, the longer the build up, the better the finish. Yes. Think about that. That's true.

It is. The more you anticipate it, the more foreplay you have, the stronger the climax. That's why I think like that's how we like look for it today. So don't go to, don't rush into relationships too quickly in the sense of like keep that fire burning as long as you can or just tease each other If you like tease your partner all night long like you're teasing each other like maybe you go into the restaurant and like you can I'm your underwear because you're not wearing any and then you like make out in the bathroom

You go back and then you're having dinner and you just prolong it the whole night You're not gonna be as much work when you get home. That's exactly right. You think pro play is work. Yeah. You're going to tease them. You know, they still might, they still might need a little permission though. They can put that on the background. Jeff, okay, we're going to go.

This was awesome having you here. I enjoyed being with you. I love seeing you're all the time, Jeff. Thank you for coming in. This is a show that's necessary. This really is a show that's necessary. This should be required listening for every newly married couple to get the relationship off on a good start. Right. This is what I think. I'm telling everybody. Thank you, Jeff, for being here.

It's a pleasure. I appreciate you can find Jeff at promessant.com. We'll also put that in the show notes if you're curious about it. All right. We're going to take a quick break. We come back. We're going to get into your calls. We have Megan, 29 in Rhode Island. She's dating a 51 year old man and can't keep up with sex. Oh, hey Megan, thanks for calling. This is interesting. Tell me more.

Hi, I'm on. Hi, I'm on. Are you there? Yeah, hey Megan. Oh, I'm on. I'm on. I'm sorry. This is crazy.

I was thinking stuff went off. And my fiance got me into listening to your radio station. Oh, I'm so glad. Yes, I actually met my fiance now. At 24, I was a massage therapist and he came in and I actually, I'm going to turn on the radio baby because I can't myself echo. So yeah, we ended up actually having sex with spa, like, right when I met, we put our hands

off of each other, yes, that, right? And ever since then, we just, it was, we were doing it probably two three times a day but now we're going on five years and I don't know what's up with me but he wants it still two three times a day but I just it's not that I'm not wanting or anything I just it's a lot of work I don't know what's that yeah so a lot of work I get tired and yeah you know I'll be out working of him but then when I get home it's like, oh shit, like I just want to go to bed. No, Megan totally makes sense. But I want to leave my man.

Of course you do. So here's what I think. Have you guys ever like talked about it? Like just talked about your sex life or what you guys are into and what turns you on? We're very sexual. We've actually, I can be the one on here, right? Yeah, do you want to do anything? Please do.

The blunter, the better. We've done three films, um, just by stuff our relationship. I'll do those once in a while just because I like women as well. And obviously he does. And I find it really attractive watching him, um, and it really turns me on. So that's like our number one thing. We're not like playing as or anything. Right.

Um, and toys. I love when you use this toys. They're made great. But it's just, like I said, I don't know what's going on. I don't know. Here's the thing Megan, it's not sustainable to have sex two to three times a day for five for the rest of your life. I mean, I'm impressed that you've been keeping it up for five years. And so just know that great text is not always about, mostly not about the quantity, right? Like how many times you have sex is about like quality sex. And for you, it sounds like you might need sex a little less frequently, but that's okay. You can still please your man in other ways, or you guys can still figure out ways

to have intimacy when it doesn't have to, when it's not intercourse. And so I think that this concern of yours, I understand like just want to do it to please them, but you're gonna end up presenting and presenting sex if you're not into it as well. So I feel like like what would feel right to you right now, Megan, like how many times a week? I mean, I wouldn't mind doing it like five times a week, but to be perfectly honest, he was starting to get really mad at me like, oh, basically, if you don't have sex, like I'm going to be pissed at you type of thing, like throwing

fabric at you. So it kind of made me feel like it was more of a job and so on. Oh, a magazine. So when he opened the wall, start kissing me, start fingering me, then me over, put my hair, like jumping the shower with me, be spontaneous, but it's like, I take a shower shower he takes the shower we hop in that a night and then we suck. And it's like no I don't want that kind of sex. Like I want our beginning sex where it's happening. So you need to go on that. Yeah well here's the thing Megan this side is asking you guys talked about so just so you know this is probably your you know it's a long relationship

five years or 29 years old you've been in since you were 24. Here's the thing in relationships that that initial chemistry is actually a Physiological reaction we're having to someone like you're having these these love hormones that are connecting you Oxytocin and dopamine that's what happens in the honeymoon phase, but that's after wow that is gonna Fizzle and so couples have to figure out like what would turn you on people couples forget that you have to still keep doing the Things that you did at the beginning or find new things So you might need some sexy text from him some words You might need him to to tell you things to give you a massage Yeah, so you got to let him know if you text me in the middle of the day and tell me that I'm really hot

Or what you're gonna do to me when I hear those words it really turns me on You might want him to come home and just start kissing you slowly or it sounds like you want him to throw you the wall to come home and just start kissing you slowly or it sounds like you want to throw you the wall. He doesn't know that. He's a little bit of a bit of a shower and stuff. I'm like, I don't care. Just fuck the fuck you. Why do you need to get in this stuff?

Why are you going to get in this stuff? Right. That's what you need. Listen, Megan, men and women get turned on differently. Arousal is very different. Men are more automatic arousal and more spontaneous. He gets spontaneously arousal when he sees you. Women are more responsive

We respond to stimuli like dirty talk kissing slowing things down being a For play it's not a suggestion it's a requirement So he has to understand that you can't just snap and you're ready for sex No woman is ready for sex like that. Maybe at the beginning But that's the problem in so many relationships that we rest on all the shit that happened in the beginning and then we keep trying to chase that high from the first six months. And it's not realistic. So why I'm here on the planet is to explain to couples and individuals that you have to know

going into a relationship the sooner that you guys talked to each other about what actually turns you on and what you need and the better you're going to be. But I don't love the part about him getting mad at you and threatening. And that makes that that gave me pause. Well, I'm turned off too, and I don't think he's treating you very well and he's 51 years old, and I think he should know better. And if he doesn't understand what to be honest, most men don't understand this, so I wouldn't be surprised if at 51 he doesn't get this, because most of sex is based on more about what men want

than women want, but you can explain to him that this is what you've learned by listing the show He turned you on to that it's actually you need more pleasure You know, he does take this stuff into consideration because I mean he loves that I know after hearing you say this And it's not just me. He's probably gonna be a lot better about it. Well, I hope so I feel like I will be into it more where I start jumping on top of the pyramid. Of course. Against that wall. Sorry, it's like picking up my legs and ripping out my clothes.

Like I love that stuff. Exactly. I don't like the faux land that I don't like playing stuff. We did get it right because you're not turned on by it. Exactly, Megan. Well, I hope this video sounds like this is going to work for you. I'm glad you guys listening. Hello boyfriend Hope you guys can work it out. Thank you Megan for calling. I'm so glad you found the show

We have James who's 29 in Canada. His wife has Indomie Trio says and he wants to know how to make sex more enjoyable for her Okay Hey James how you doing? Thanks for calling Hey, how's it going good. How are you? I'm happy to help. Not too bad, not too bad, just driving home, but no, basically, she's had severe domestic diseases ever since she was young. Basically, every time, well, most times, if we abstract, she has a lot of cramping after. I don't know whether there's something i can do to

but afterwards or something that i'm doing long i'm not sure if it's that it's a fact that's fine but it's just she's just get cramping it's if we have second night time she uh... i think it's troubling to sleep at night does she say okay but and she's had this since you guys were together? Like you said, she's had it for a while. Yeah, we, she's had a couple of surgeries done and then we actually had a little one and

the OB was actually amazed that she actually got pregnant. And we can't, she can't remember the whole time and whatnot. It's not four and a half, but, um, you know, still, um, they thought maybe that might fix the problem a little bit, uh, but she's just getting, she still has the cramps sometimes. Right. Has she been to see, like, um, has she been to see, she could see a pelvic floor physical therapist, Rendo Mitriosis.

I would love her to see somebody. If she's had her whole life, she should definitely go see a pelvic floor at physical therapist first, because she doesn't have to live with this pain. So there are also some, there's some things like we're a huge fan of CBD. There's something called foria awakened, and that can help a lot of women with this. So you just kind of, it's like a pre-loom, and she can rub it, you know, you could even do it for her. You can rub it into her vulva. And before you, you know, for play and it just feels really good that can kind of help alleviate pain. It has CBD.

And then there's also some positions that are better for endometriosis and others, like spooning, raising up her hips, using a pillow. Missionary position is often really painful for people with endometriosis. And if she is having a lot of pain, you know, at the times it is more painful, you can do other things, more play, massage, oral stimulation. That's why I would recommend James. I kind of feel bad afterwards. I can't really do anything about it at the time, but it's like it kind of puts a bit of a dull ending on everything. I understand that, but I also think that she doesn't realize it.

I think the first thing to figure out is like, how you can help her not have the pain. She doesn't have to live with that pain. Women, a lot of women can cure endometriosis by going to see a pelvic floor physical therapist. So if you look at, we're gonna, if you go to the show notes, sexwithendley.com, we're gonna put a podcast on that I did with the woman named Heather Jeffcoat.

And she's a physical therapist and she works with women all the time to help them with endometriosis because I understand that you're feeling bad so you only think it's to not have sex with her and just do four plays so she can still pleasure and orgasm or figure out a way that she's less played pain with penetration. All right. Thanks James. Thanks for calling. Now it goes.

I will be here for you. Let me know. Thanks. Thank you guys. Women do not have to live with pain 80% of women experience pain during intercourse and you do not have to have it You don't you we live we just think that pains a part of life I'm just gonna pain forever. We can take care of that. You can solve that I mean I can't personally but I can help you and tell you where to go for sure Yeah, I just too like how so many women just bear through it too. They do. They're like, it hurts me, but I want to please my partner.

I know. I was so strong. And I think we're tough. And we're like, I want to take one for the team. We're going to want him to, yeah, I don't want him to, like so he's feeling bad, which is great, but she's also probably like, I have to do it. I'm a wife, I'm just going to be paying,

but I'm telling you guys, you might have to take a little break from intercourse, but go work on how you can get your body feeling good again. One of my good friends has ended me treasus and I wasn't aware that you can do this and I'm gonna have her listen to the podcast. Yeah, listen to the podcast. So she can actually get that. And Heather wrote a book called, like, Vaginal Pain.

I mean, it's like, it's sex. Pain and sex, that pain. Yeah. It's amazing. I've sent some several people to her and it's like, change her like, women don't realize you just go in with like a dilator, It kind of looks like this dildo here But it's and then you just hold it in and she does exercises with her and she can go home like after a month She can have less pain. That's amazing. It's amazing

Yeah, that's gonna help her with her partner as well cuz she has those those painful Yeah, you have Jen his 49 and Ohio. She wants to know why her sex drive is completely gone Hi, Jen. Tell me what's going on. Hi. Hi. So I just want to know like what happened. It died.

It completely died. I dried up. I died. No, Jen. Okay. You got to back up. So are you in a relationship? I know.

Well, there's a lot of things that go into this. So you're married. Okay. So are you in a relationship? I know. Well, there's a lot of things that go into this. So you're married. Yes. Okay. So I'm married for 24 years. Okay. And we've been together 26. And everything's great.

I love them, every feeling. They're awesome, but there's nothing. There's just no feeling there. I know. Okay. So there's a lot, right? So, okay, there's a few things. First, there's the there's just no feeling there. I know. Okay. So there's a lot. Right. So, okay, there's a few things. First, there's the physical, right?

Like the physiological going through menopause, or paramanopause. So, hormones are out, or hormones change. So, that's very real. That could happen. You could get that checked out, go to a doctor. It could be, there's, you know, I did.

Okay, did you get, like, bio-identical hormones or anything like that? Well, I went to an endocrinologist and got everything checked out and I'm not quite pretty menopausal yet. Okay, you're not parymentopausal, right? You're 49, so you would be parymentopausal. Yeah, so I'm not menopausal yet. Well, that could happen in the draft, but there's also other things really

honestly, Jen, a lot of it is, you're not going to like this, but boredom. We don't mix up our sexual repertoire enough, so you've been with the same partner for 24 years. And so also, are we get used to the same person I need to know about your communication around sex with your husband? Have you guys talked about it? Have you got a sexual adventure? Have you tried anything different?

Do you excite each other? You do. But there's no feeling. Like, I's no feeling. Like, I have no feeling at all. I just run with everyone at work. I'm like, I'm just down there. You have nothing.

Well, okay. So here's the thing. Do you have a masturbator? Have orgasms or do anything like that on your own? Do you have feelings when you do it yourself? Yeah. Only with a vibrator. Okay.

That's okay. That's because, well, since we just need a vibrator every time, do you know what really turned you on? Can you remember like, what about four play? Like if your partner goes down on you or you tease each other. I like that, yeah. So when he goes down on you, then do you feel like you're in the mood?

I mean, I don't even like want to even do that though. Right, I get it. It's like, I don't even wanna go there. I know. Did anything, but you love your partner so it wasn't like you had a fight or resentment or anything happened. So I feel like, okay, a few things also

just getting reconnected. Reconnected with your body. I mean, I think that is women, this just happens, we get older, we disconnect from it. I do think a lot of it does have to do with hormones and metapause. And so I understand what you're saying, but once you get going, it actually feels good. So you have to get past the,

like, I don't want to do it. It's kind of like going to the gym, like the hardest part is like getting out the door and putting your shoes on. But then when we got there, we're like, oh, I feel really good that I worked out. So part of it is that and finding it really is true, though, right? The women expect that a rousal is going to hit us over the head because most men have the spontaneous, right? They're just turned on, your partner sees you, and they get an erection. But for women, we think we're broken because we don't have that same drive that men do. We are wired differently, and especially as we get older, stress, other things going on

or life hormones, it all changes. So we have to work a little bit harder at it. And by working at it, I mean, you have to figure out ways that turn you on. They get you in the mood. If it's like taking a bath, if it's going on vacation, vacation sex works because you're getting out of your same routine, your same repertoire, doing the same things over and over again. Go to a sex toy store and go shopping together on your next date.

Doing one thing different, wearing something sexy in the bedroom. I know this all sounds like, it might sound cliché to you, but I'm telling you that's exactly what is missing right now. If you start creating new things for you guys to do, and I'm not saying you got to get all red room of pain, but really just like trying subtle things and maybe even talking about it in ways

that you haven't before. There's some really fun sex games that you guys could play together. If you go to one of these stores, or go to my site, sexesandely.com, you know, getting some inspiration, doing some research. Nothing's wrong with you. You're not broken.

Just a little bit more work. For wetness, I recommend using a whole lot of lube. I mean, you know, people use coconut oil. I would recommend I love something called Wu More Play. It's coconut oil lube and, people use coconut oil. I would recommend, I love something called woo more play. It's coconut oil lube and we are obsessed with it here. It is, it's woo, w-o-o, and it's coconut oil and it's all organic ingredients and it's actually like a massage oil coconut.

Like it's the best, it's such a great loop. So I would recommend that. Because it's actually made, it's coconut oil, it's edible. It is edible, it tastes delicious like vanilla. Okay. Yeah, you're gonna love that. So use a lot of lube.

There's also something called like BTL Amcella. It's another thing and it's a chair that you can sit on. There's like other things now for women like rejuvenation things that aren't about like labia plastic, which whenever I say rejuvenation women think I'm talking about like changing the shape of it. And it's more about using like there's a chair that you can sit on that help you with it also helps like tighten your pelvic floor Which it could also help with lubrication you literally go to a doctor's office you sit on a chair twice a week

It's called BTL. I'm Sella and it's pretty fucking awesome and it strengthens your cuckoo your pelvic floor But I mean a loop should be great if you have if you're not using loop now use loop every time I mean, I think people should use loop the first time they have sex and every time they're after. All right. All right, check it out. Okay, okay, Jen, I'm here for you. Of course, I'm here every night. Let me know it goes.

See, that's what I love. Being here five nights a week, Monday through Friday, five o'clock, I'm Pacific, Jenkins, go home and like get the loop or dress up and then call next week and say, hey, here's how it all went down. Here's what happened. I'm really into sex again.

My vagina isn't broken. Her vagina's not broken. We often think our vagina's broken, but it's just because we haven't paid attention to it. It's like a garden, we have been watering, we haven't been putting out the weeds, we haven't been tending to it. So we wonder why it's not growing or it's not flourishing.

It's because we literally get cut off, and then we're like, mad at our vagina, because it's painful or it's just not getting a rouse anymore. We just kind of just think it's gonna be fine during sex But why would just wake up and be ready when you just treat it like it's some foreign land We got to stay connected to it. You got to breathe into our floor pelvic floor. All right guys Thanks for supporting the show for listening to the show for sharing the show with a friend for reviewing us wherever you listen and just for being awesome Thanks also to my incredible team, Ken, Kristen, Lisa, Michelle, producer, Jamie, and Michael.

It was good for you. Email me. FeedbackItSex with Emily.com.